


The Space Between

by not2girly



Category: Lost
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-05-08 13:52:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 62
Words: 197,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5499482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/not2girly/pseuds/not2girly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dharmaville Days- T - M for theme. Dueling Juliet and Sawyer PoVs. Suilet. Slow Burn.. Angst, action, drama and I guess I should add violence as well. It happens. Feel free to comment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a writer so please excuse the grammatical errors. I just had a story in my head that was screaming to get out. Feel free to comment.

"Alright, two weeks."

Juliet had just smiled at him. Sawyer's chest released a heavy sigh, his dimples giving away his thoughts.  
They'd been through a lot in the past few weeks. How was it possible they had gone from adversary to comfort in such a short amount of time? Maybe it was when Sawyer crawled out of the ocean the day the freighter blew up. Or maybe the feeling began before that when Sawyer headed back to the beach to check on Sayid, Bernard and Jin after the Others attacked. Juliet chose to go back with him knowing that they'd be walking unarmed into danger.

As it turned out he wasn't a selfish, cold hearted conman and she really wasn't on anyone's side after all. She just wanted to get off the damn island. Once the flashes began Sawyer actually felt drawn to Juliet like a lifeline. Each flash they had endured together had drawn out their strengths as well as their insecurities.  
Oddly, Juliet and Sawyer found that they balanced one another. No matter how angry or frustrated he had been, her presence had calmed him, she kept him grounded. He trusted her to have his back.

Juliet discovered that Sawyer was a leader (albeit a reluctant one) and he was a protector- something she had been missing. From the day the flashes first started neither of them held their pasts against the other. They just moved forward, together.  
They stared out at the dark waters in comfortable silence for what felt like hours.

"Hello there." a man's voice called coolly. It was Horace. As he approached, hands tucked in his pockets casually he directed his words towards Sawyer, stopping just shy of the dock.

"It's getting late. We've set up house for you and your men to stay in for now, while you look for the rest of your crew."

Sawyer tipped his head with a charming smile as he stood -He reached a hand out to help Juliet up frowning a bit as he noticed the purple marks around her wrist from when they were attacked in the jungle. She allowed him to easily pull her to her feet smiling thoughtfully.

"Juliet, it has been decided that you may stay with Amy until we can arrange something more suitable for you."

The corner of Juliet's mouth twitched ever so slightly as she stared briefly at the ground, uncertain how to respond. She blinked a few times and then looked at Horace and gave a smile and nod.

"Thank you Horace, that will be fine"

Sawyer's brow furrowed at the idea and Juliet could see his unease.

"I hate to break up my crew, Chief, ain't there a way..."

Juliet reached out, touching his arm and instantly silencing him.

"It's fine, James. I'll see you in the morning."

She interrupted in that soothing manner of hers. Jin and Miles stood on a dimly lit porch nearby as Juliet separated from Sawyer and followed Horace across the lawn to Amy, who was waiting with a similar look of polite uncertainty. Grief still written on her face. Amy courteously ushered Juliet into her home. Sawyer waited until the door closed- then turned to face Miles and Jin putting his arms out in his _Well, here we are_ fashion.

"Ya ok with this boss?" Miles said with an arch of his eyebrow.

"What? Yeh- Jiminy Cricket it's just great, at least I ain't gunna get sand up my crack tonight. Where's Einstein?" Sawyer said aloofly changing the subject as he parted from Horace and walked inside.

Jin gestured as Daniel walked out of one bedroom and into another, then back to the hall and back into the original bedroom, his finger pressed tightly to his lip. He was having an intense quiet conversation with himself bout space, distance and time.

Miles broke up the awkwardness " There's a bunk bed in one bedroom, single in the other- Someone's gunna have to take the couch."

He grabbed an apple off the counter taking an unnecessarily loud bite.

"...and there's food..." he continued stoically with his mouth full already half way down the hall.

"Just like summer camp. I call dibs on shower."

Jin closed the front door solemnly and picked up a nearby folded blanket while handing Sawyer a stack of neatly pressed clothes.

"For you."

Sawyer took the load and nodded in thanks to Jin then plopped down on the couch - kicking off the heavy brown boots he'd taken off a dead man back in 1954.

"Hell of day eh Jin?"

Jin nodded expressionless. "yes, day of hell- good night Sawyer"

Sawyer stared at the ceiling- listening to the mumblings of their madman with the background of running water before nodding off into an uneasy sleep.

...

"The bathroom is here, I assumed you'd like to shower so I put a few things in there for you." Amy said walking into the hallway of the small house and gesturing to her left.

"The couch is set up for you- I'm sorry we... I... don't have an extra bedroom." Amy paused nervously.

"I'm sure Horace will have a more comfortable arrangement for you soon."

Juliet smiled and nodded.

"Thank you, Amy- I'm so sorry about Paul. I know how hard this must be on you."

"... if you need anything, just knock. goodnight- Juliet." Amy said curtly as she quietly disappeared into her bedroom.

Juliet heard the door lock from the inside. She let out a long sigh as she took in her all too familiar surroundings then made her way to the shower.  
In the bathroom, she stared at her reflection, she had lost weight- her collarbones were protruding and her skin seemed thinly stretched across her expressionless face. Her fingers nervously pressed her cheekbones and went back into her hair which was dirty and tangled together. Delicately, she unwound her hair tie and released her long waves.

"Two weeks..."

She whispered to the woman staring back at her as she closed her tearing eyes with a silent pained expression and gripped the counter. She hadn't realized how exhausted she really was.  
She blew out a heavy breath and snagged a piece of toilet paper wiping her nose as she leaned in and turned on the water, refocused on the task at hand. There was a neatly folded stack of clothes on the counter: blue medical scrubs, a sundress and a towel. Juliet carefully peeled her clothes off- collecting them in a pile to avoid the spread of dirt and then stepped into the shower.

The hot water was a welcome relief. As steam filled the room- she inhaled and released a few long jagged breaths allowing her tears to fully reclaim her. She stood there, water beating against her face, and cried. When the tears would no longer come- Juliet turned around almost mechanically, collected her thoughts then washed herself. She watched the brown water change to clear, turned off the faucet and toweled dry. Slipping into the pair of scrubs she gave silent thanks that she was at Amy's and not with the guys tonight.

Exiting the bathroom, Juliet could hear Amy sobbing through the bedroom door. She paused empathetically but decided it best not to knock.

...

Sawyer jolted upright, feeling around in the darkness as his eyes adjusted. The dream was vivid. Jack, Hurley, Kate- the helicopter. Why did he jump? Was it to save her or himself? He sat forward running his fingers through his hair. "None of that matters now", he growled to himself. That was 30 years from now. The house was dark and the bedroom doors were both closed. Standing up, Sawyer lifted his shirt and smelled it, disgusted, he groaned and headed to the bathroom.

After a much needed shower Sawyer put on the Dharma jumpsuit he had been borrowed - leaving himself bare-chested with the top portion dangling around his waist as he made his way to the kitchen.

"Still beats the beach " he said aloud to himself as he pulled an orange juice container from the fridge and began chugging it from the bottle. His eyes drifted out the window and across the lawn to the silhouetted figure sitting on Amy's front step.

...

Sawyer could see that Juliet was deep in thought as he made his way into view from across the lawn.  
He had built his old life on being able to read women and he had to admit he was intrigued by the fact that Juliet was an absolute mystery to him. Just when he thought he knew "her type" she had proven him wrong. He sighed as he approached her then swung himself around, dropping down into the empty space next her.

"Hey" she said in a light whisper arching an eyebrow at his bare upper half.

"Hey yerself, Space Cadet. Can't sleep?"

Sawyer said turning his attention to an abandoned swing set in the distance. Juliet shook her head ever so slightly.

"Funny isn't it? This is the safest I've been in I don't know how long and... I can't sleep"

Juliet was expressionless. She was wearing blue medical scrubs, her elbows gently resting on her knees. Her blonde waves tucked neatly behind her ears. After consideration of her statement and a few moments of silence, Sawyer's hand reached over and he stood up, sighing.

"Think we've both earned ourselves a nightcap, whattya say?"

She looked up at him blinking slowly as she took his hand and allowed herself to be pulled to her feet for the second time tonight as they walked back to the guys house in silence.

Neither of them bothered to turn on the light- the moon was shining bright enough that it was still easy enough to see without it. Juliet sat on the couch, tucking her legs beneath her and leaned against the armrest while Sawyer rummaged through the kitchen for a few moments. He started a kettle of water on the stove, turning back to her with a look of irritation.

"Any idea when microwaves become popular?"

Juliet huffed a small laugh as Sawyer stood in the kitchen with 2 empty coffee cups and a small bottle of Dharma whiskey.

"I guess we should be thankful we didn't stop during prohibition times" she retorted as he raised the bottle smiling a silent toast to her statement.

The kettle began to whistle as Sawyer poured whiskey into each cup then added the hot water.  
He moved to her and dropped down to the center of the couch passing Juliet her drink.

"It ain't exactly a "hot totty" but it just might do the trick."

Juliet took the cup thankfully and sipped, closing her eyes as the mug warmed her hands.

"We're gunna be alright, ya know? I got this... We got this. Locke will find a way."

He didn't know why he felt the need to give a pep talk but something in the way the moonlight hit her glassy blue eyes tore at his heartstrings and he had to admit that he even felt comforted after saying it out loud.  
Juliet nodded and took another sip then set her drink on the table beside the couch.

"1974." Sawyer stated quietly "Hell, I'm like 6 years old right now - out there somewhere.- you aint even that old"

He could see her smile through the darkness. He grinned as he entertained the thought of a little version of Juliet running around. His looked away, his mind wandered to his parents and then through the past few months. How the hell he was still alive was beyond him- bringing his cup up - he took another sip of his drink and nodded to himself.

"Yep... We're gunna be just fine here. Maybe take some disco lessons? Play a little backgammon?- Invent the Walkman... and before you know it we'll be back home."

She let out a deep breath but didn't move. Sawyer leaned forward to see her face- he let out a half snort when he realized she had fallen asleep. Slowly he slid himself off the couch. He carefully bent over her and untucked her knees shifting her up onto the couch.

"James?"

Juliet whispered, eyes still closed, as she shifted to her side burying her hand under her chin like a child.

"Uhhuh?" he replied reaching back for a blanket.

"Thank you." She said as Sawyer covered her. He dropped into the chair beside her leaning his head back and closing his eyes with a smile.

"Anytime Sleepin' Beauty".

...

The flash of light hit him and his head screamed in protest

"Sonofa.."

Sawyer lurched upright, blinking hard. A blanket was tangled in his arms. The sunlight from the window had just reached the perfect angle to hit him square in the face. Sawyer shoved himself to his feet and furrowed his eyebrows, huffing audibly. He turned his attention across the room where Miles sat at the kitchen table, staring at him from over his coffee cup- wide eyed.

"Morning- There's ... coffee." Miles said keeping his eyes locked on Sawyer.

Sawyer's glanced at the empty couch, tossed the blanket back onto it and stalked off to the bathroom.

Jin entered the kitchen "Sawyer ... ok?" he said, looking at Miles.

"Yeh, not a morning person, I guess. " Miles replied; handing an empty mug to Jin.

...

Juliet had been awakened by the sound of footsteps, rhythmically pacing. _1-2-3 turn. 1,2,3 turn._ Daniel was hovering near the still open door- she determined she'd only been asleep a few hours because the sun had yet to come up. Her eyes followed him for a few moments before she calmly addressed him.

"Daniel? You alright?"

Juliet whispered as she slowly slid upright, mindful not to startle Daniel. Sawyer stirred restlessly in the armchair to her right.

"Whatever happened, happened... 1974, Eloise. 11 flashes, 10? 11." _turn_ "The machine must be oscillating at 11, Widmore, 2.342, Charlotte."

_1, 2, 3 turn_ Daniel continued to verbalize his thoughts quietly, his hands nervously gesturing the accented points of his internal argument.  
Juliet approached carefully. She gently put one hand to his shoulder using the other to brush his sweaty hair back from his forehead in a motherly way. His eyes darted about - eyebrows pinched in anxiety.

"Daniel- look at me"

she said softly stopping purposely in his path. His intense dark eyes locked with her soothing crystal blue ones. They stood there a moment as he focused on Juliet. He reached up and placed his hands lightly on her arms and slowly spoke to her

"I need... to go... back. There's a reason.. we are here. I need to find out more about the Dharma Initiative and the work they are doing... it could.. help us.."  
Juliet nodded with him.

" Ok. Daniel. Let's talk to James in the morning and we will figure this out together."

"K... Yeh - The submarine leaves tomorr...today"

He corrected himself continuing to nod slightly as he separated from Juliet and headed back into a bedroom, closing the door softly. Juliet crossed her arms, bringing a hand up to her face and sighed worriedly as she watched him leave before refocusing her attention on the sleeping form in the armchair.  
She moved over and carefully picked up her blanket from the couch, draping it over Sawyer. Pausing at the peaceful look on his face she couldn't help but smile.

Juliet closed the screen door and crossed the dark lawn, back to Amy's, reclaiming her place on Amy's couch and closing her eyes. Ben's words echoing in her mind

_"After everything I did to get you here, after everything I've done to keep you here, how can you possibly not understand... "_

She had been second guessing herself since agreeing to stay on the island. Ben was gone yet she was still here. Really, Sawyer was right. She had no reason to go. She had no money. There was also the fact that she had no home, no family that knew her and no friends she could rely on off island. What was she gunna do in 1974? As her thoughts shifted to Jin, Miles, Daniel and Sawyer- her heart ached and she knew that the only chance and the only choice that made sense right now, was to stay. They all needed each other.


	2. Chapter 2

Her hair was loosely twisted up revealing her elegant neck. The clean pressed white sundress Amy left her came to just above her knees. It was flattering in shape with a halter top- which she was thankful for since her undergarments were currently being laundered. The pattern on the dress left much to be desired. It had blue and green speckled mushrooms, butterflies and flowers on it- reminding her of her grandmothers old kitchen wallpaper when she was a girl. Admittedly though, anything was better than putting back on her dirty, sweaty outfit that she arrived with.

After Juliet dropped her laundry off she headed towards the cafeteria. The moment she walked in, she felt all eyes on her. She made a mental note not to come this early again as the room was filled with all the working men getting ready for their day. She was quickly becoming very self conscious, Juliet decided it best to take her breakfast elsewhere. She grabbed an orange from a long table of breakfast options and turned to leave when she was approached by three matching Dharma jumpsuits.

"Hi" said the tallest one-

"I'm Bill, This is Phil, I guess you guys met last night ... and that's Jesse"

Juliet smiled kindly "Hi Bill. I'm Juliet" she said blinking politely as she reached a hand out to shake his.

He took her hand- turning it in a prince fashion and set his other hand on top. "Juliet. Pleasure is all mine"

She could feel her ears flushing with embarrassment as Phil elbowed Jesse. She pulled her hand away coolly and paused awkwardly.

"You just arrived? Shipwrecked right? Were you stuck out in the jungle for long before you got here?". He continued urgently stepping closer. Juliet moved to a nearby trash bin and let out a light laugh at his overzealous effort.

"Something like that."

"Sorry! What a terrible way to start a conversation - Hi do you like bread? " Bill said mocking himself.

Juliet smiled sympathetically as she glanced at the youngest man's face. She was fairly certain that the three men had made some sort of bet on getting information out of her and felt a little bad that they had no idea who they were dealing with. Secrecy was her specialty. Poor guys.

Juliet gave up trying to escape and settled into a comfortable stance deciding to peel her orange in a slow methodical fashion as this new stranger continued talking with his 2 buddies nearby. She nodded along with him, , listening intently whilst dropping orange peelings into the bin beside her. She learned that Bill was part of a detail that worked part-time at a station called "The Flame" and that everyone that lived in the compound worked a job detail. He informed her how he had come to be on the island, that he was divorced, no kids, he was in his mid 30's and usually always around if she needed anything fixed. After about 20 minutes of him rambling on about himself Juliet had peeled the most perfect orange and still couldn't seem to leave.

Finally, she purposefully exaggerated a glance to the wall clock and turned back to Bill "I am so sorry- I didn't realize the time, I have to.. " she gestured to the doorway-

"Thank you... for the warm welcome. "

She nodded to Bill's clearly amused sidekicks "Please...excuse me" with that she turned on her heel and stoically exited the cafeteria.

Bill called out after her "See ya around, Ju-li-et~"

She felt eyes following her as Phil and Jesse both approached Bill, clearly laughing at his epic failure to obtain any information. All the same- she left still blushing from the attention.

Juliet turned the corner from the cafeteria abruptly and ran smack into Sawyer.

"Woah there..."

" Oh- I'm sorr..." she stopped letting the rest of her sentence fall out in a silent breath of relief.

Frozen with her hand on his chest as he caught her by the elbow to steady her. Juliet's eyes moved up his gray Dharma jumpsuit stopping at his dimpled face.

"Hey there Sunshine, you clean up pret-ty. Nice shoes~" Sawyer said letting go and smiling widely. Juliet retracted her hand and looked down at her one fashion flaw- her dusty tan hiking shoes. She couldn't help but let out a laugh.

"That for me?" he said winking at the peeled orange still in her grip. Juliet tipped her head closed her eyes and handed over the last 20 minutes of her morning to him.

"Where is everyone?"

"Dr. Wizard is getting on the sub, headed back to figure out... whatever there is to figure out, Mr. "I speak to dead people" was in the shower... again... last I checked and Jin..."

Sawyer's eyes narrowed over Juliet's shoulder.

"You know them?" Sawyer inquired when he spotted a small group of men admiring Juliet from the other side of the lawn.

Juliet turned subtly to glance over her shoulder.  
"One of them. We met at breakfast, he's quite... inquisitive"

Sawyer's eyebrow arched at her choice of words.

"Is that so? Maybe you should introduce us then."

He cut passed her and headed straight for the group when Juliet suddenly looped his arm through hers and coolly spun him in slow motion back towards his house.

"No. James, but thank you." _Was she blushing?_

Sawyer squinted at her smiling widely.

"Uh huh, I see."

Juliet gave him a playful eye roll as they approached the guys house Sawyer nodded towards the docks.

" Guess Jin... felt like fishin' to clear his head."

Quietly they watched Jin toss his line into the water and reel it back in as Sawyer broke off sections of orange- offering a piece back to Juliet as juice dripped from his lip.

"Any word from Horace yet today?" Juliet said, taking a slice from him, not bothering to look over for conversation.

"Naw Nuthin yet."

Out of the blue, Miles slammed the screen door open emerging from behind them, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. He stretched his arms and yawned like an overgrown kid. Juliet and James both turned to stare. Miles quickly defended his attire.  
"What? They only left three jumpsuits and Faraday was wearing the last one when he left on the sub this morning. My clothes aren't back from the laundry yet! Sheesh"

James smirked " I ain't wearing my skivvies under this thing either Kung Pow, but I ain't goin' 'round making it known to the whole damn island."

Miles looked at Juliet with a quick grin then flipped his expression back to stoic, addressing Sawyer.

"You're an ass LaFleur."

"Well, Good morning ship wreckers!" Horace said cheerfully as he approached carrying a few small satchels of clean laundry.

"You may be an ass Jim, but I have a feeling the Dharma Initiative can turn you into a real asset" Horace snorted lightly at his own joke then coughed a bit handing over the packages to Sawyer. He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jumpsuit and began to rock casually on his heels.

Juliet held a pursed smile in an attempt not to laugh out loud.

Sawyer's hand reached into the first bag and pulled out Miles's shirt then stuffed it back in and chucked it up to the half naked man on the porch.

"Hey, those are my delicates!"

He said picking up the bag and heading inside. James reached into the next satchel and caught the feel of soft satin before his eyes darted up to meet Juliet's with a wolfish grin. He pulled his hand out and gave the bag to her.

"Yers."

Juliet blinked slowly "Thank you"

She could feel her body flush yet again. Sawyer was definitely watching her as she turned towards Amy's knowing he was realizing the obvious, that her intimate wear was also in the bag and not under her dress.

" _No, thank you" Yep she was definitely blushing!._ Shaking his head lightly. He couldn't deny it,Juliet was a damn beautiful looking woman. He subtly adjusted his jumpsuit and cleared his throat, his eyes cutting back towards the cafeteria where he caught sight of a few men at the cafeteria that were also still getting an eyeful of Juliet.

Horace stood awkwardly observing the interaction.

"So, you and Juliet? Are you an item?"

"What? No. We ain't. It's complicated." She wasn't his type. Hell, who was he kidding-he didn't even know what type she was.

"Well, That's probably real good news to the gentlemen that have been inquiring about her since you all arrived. She must have made some first impression"

Sawyer felt a strange surge in his belly. He smiled evenly as he recalled his first meeting Juliet.

_Flashing back to the Hydra as he rounded the cages and was stopped in his tracks by Juliet. He remembered raking his eyes down her body, hearing her voice call to him like to her attention like a damn Siren "Hey" Just before she tased him! Sure- his reaction time might have been slowed due to the fact that he was checkin' her out. but...Yeh... she knew how to make a first impression alright!_

Horace added "Nice to see you smile Jim." to which Sawyer immediately stopped smiling.

" Well hey- I'll let you go get dressed" Horace said quickly changing the subject. "... and if you and your crew would meet me in say- an hour? We can go over your plans for the next few weeks."

"Sure thing H."

.......

After Daniel left, days passed in a relatively mundane manner. The guys would go out in the mornings to look for the imaginary missing crew. The three of them looked for signs of Locke's return or signs of other survivors that may have traveled back through time with them. Juliet stayed behind as per Horace's request. After what happened with Amy, he was not willing to allow any women beyond the fence just yet. Truce or no truce.

At first, she felt weird being left behind, after all she knew the area better than any of them. But as time passed, Juliet had to admit things were settling in to be okay. Better than expected, actually.

After the first few days- Amy stopped locking her bedroom door at night. During the day she and Juliet would sit and drink coffee, or walk around Dharmaville helping out where needed. Amy was on break after Paul died and it worked out that Juliet was a great comfort to Amy without much effort. They chatted about their lives and the locals. Juliet kept things simple. It seemed to be working. She decided quickly that the truth was just easier to remember so she talked about her childhood, her sister and college. Juliet skipped over Edmund, Ben and basically the past 5 years all together. Amy didn't seem to notice. She talked about herself as well. She was curious, kind and actually turning out to be a nice girlfriend, which Juliet was happy to have.

Juliet was surprised to find out that Paul and Amy had actually been going through a rough patch just before he died. He had taken her out on their picnic that day to try and reconcile their relationship. Juliet listened with sympathetic interest. Amy told her that she had appreciated Juliet's kind words that first night- even though she hadn't expressed it at the time. Juliet told Amy about losing Goodwin. She kept it uncomplicated, implying that he had been lost suddenly just before they had arrived. She wasn't sure why she wanted Amy to know about him at all but he was nice to talk about without worrying what Amy thought.

"I wondered why you and Jim weren't together." was Amy's reply.

"Anyone can see that he cares about you."

Juliet smiled sipping her coffee. She let out a light laugh.

"Well, it's safe to say that's not how things were when we met."

Her mind drifted back to her overwhelming feeling of anxiety when she first arrived on the beach with Jack

" _What the hell is she doing here?"_

Yes, James had made it pretty clear after detaching himself from Kate that he wanted nothing more than to toss her in the ocean and hold her underwater himself. She still got chills thinking of he and Sayid and how they had cornered her when she had gone to retrieve Claire's medicine. They hadn't been wrong about her intentions either which is why it was so terrifying to think of what might have happened.

"You ok? Juliet?" Amy's voice pulled her back to the present.

"Yeh... I'm fine. Amy, thank you." Juliet blinked, smiling politely.

"I know what might cheer you up." Amy said standing up and grabbing something off the kitchen counter.

"Really? what's that?" Juliet replied humoring Amy's enthusiasm.

She spun around smiling from ear to ear and revealed a 2 inch thick Sears Catalog.  
Juliet laughed as Amy plopped back down beside her and flipped the book open to the women's clothing section.

"You must be tired of wearing things that aren't your own. Horace says not to worry about the money right now. You all can pay him back when you start your work details next week."

Juliet's smile faded and her eyes glazed over for a minute- "work details? " Juliet looked at Amy - knowing Amy knew more than she was letting on.

"Ooooh, This would look so perfect on you!" Amy continued oblivious to Juliet's change in mood.

...

Juliet's hair was semi- pulled back as usual. She had decided to stop by to talk to Horace at the recruitment center and see if she could feel out his mood. Juliet was glad that she was able to at least gather information easily while the guys were away. As suspected Horace did have intentions of "speaking to Jim" very soon- He was waiting for word from Ann Arbor regarding something. Juliet smiled, appreciating his honesty and said her farewells as she headed over to the guys to start dinner with the Sears Catalog neatly tucked under her arm.

It had been nearly two weeks and Juliet still felt the pull of eyes on her as she walked. Juliet nodded politely to those who were watching her and laughed a bit to herself that it was like being on display in a store window. She was the shiny new toy. Her memory shifted back as she passed her old house, remembering this exact feeling the last time she'd been new here. She was never the popular girl, she was awkwardly shy and tall in school and had even steered her towards research after her residency was over because she preferred to help in more of a "behind the scenes" atmosphere. She had been flawless when it came to following orders. It had ironically become her biggest downfall.

_"So you've been here a week, and what's your least favorite part so far?" Harper said over the top of her clipboard; uncrossing her legs and waiting patiently for an answer._

_" I don't like being treated like a celebrity" Juliet stated in a very matter of fact manner._

_She thought the whole idea of a therapist was a bit much._

_"_ _And is that surprising? You're big news right now" Harper replied arching an eyebrow._

_"Yes, I know." Juliet paused in attempt to be honest with herself. " I guess I don't like being the center of attention. it makes me feel isolated" rolling her eyes at her own insecurities_

_"Alone." she finished with an awkward smile._

_" Well, maybe you feel that all eyes are on you but you're not a celebrity and soon enough you'll realize that you are no different than anyone here." Harper answered._

Yes, all "therapy" did for Juliet was make life more uncomfortable. In the end, Harper had been right though. About her, about Goodwin. Harper had every reason to hate Juliet. Juliet had turned into "the other woman". Her mind flashed through Edmund's many research assistants as a pang of hurt and guilt settled in her gut. Juliet had been selfish, she didn't like herself and worst of all, after Ben repeatedly refused to let her go home- she honestly didn't care anymore. Not until Jack. Jack had cared about her when no one else did and he had absolutely no reason to.

Juliet entered the guys house- cringing a bit at the mess as she set the catalog down on the counter and moved to turn the record player on. It was the latest "The Carpenters" album. She knew she would have to flip to something "cooler" when the guys got home but for now she was humming along to " _Top of the World"_ with a silly grin as she made her way into the kitchen.


	3. Chapter 3

Days turned to weeks. The sub had come and gone. Daniel hadn't returned and no one else left.

Horace had a couple of men that were slated for security positions change their minds at the last minute so he offered the jobs to Sawyer and Jin. Since the guys were already familiar with the perimeter checks and knew the surrounding area they were the obvious best candidates.

Miles had been offered a janitorial position after taking the Dharma Initiative aptitude test. He came out of the recruitment office crumpling up his jumpsuit in a state of hostility.

"Well, Chim Chimney- you're the one that told them you had a history of working with "dirt"." Sawyer said in a snarky manner

"I'm a spiritualist LaFleur! I take SOIL samples and speak to the dead. They didn't exactly have a little box to check for that."

"Calm down Renfield, I'll talk to Horace and see what I can do."

They had Juliet take an aptitude test as well and she came out of the recruitment office grinning from ear to ear. She held up a Motor Pool jumpsuit showing off her name proudly. Sawyer arched his brow in curiosity.  
Miles sighed shaking his head.

"See? What the hell- I could've done that!"

"Why Ms Burke, I'm astounded" Sawyer said holding his hand dramatically to his heart in his most proper southern drawl.

"You "doctored" your test?"

Juliet blinked slowly, the smile drained from her features as she looked up at him.

"I can't do it anymore." She said honestly.

"Alright then- good news-you don't have ta." He said, dimples beaming as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder giving it a comforting squeeze as the three of them made their way back to the house.

Things in "Dharmaville" were becoming comfortable.

Juliet volunteered around the barracks on her days off helping Amy with the new recruits or doing odd tasks. She had agreed to lend a hand with orientations at the school house until she found herself staring at a young Benjamin Linus. Her face had blanched and she remembered feeling faint. She told Amy that she was just "under the weather" as she excused herself from the class. Juliet could feel 10 year old Ben's eyes following her as she walked out- hands shaking. She had been very withdrawn for a few days after that encounter. Sawyer had been both concerned and watchful. He knew Ben had been in control of the "Others" but he really didn't understand the depth of Ben's hold over Juliet yet nor did any of them understand why the kid was here.

They also learned that Miles' parents were in the Initiative which freaked him out because he hadn't even been born yet. He was suspicious and resentful about it. Theorizing on what was going to happen and worrying that if anyone intervened that somehow it might change his "coming into existence".

Jin was the most mature. He was calm and observant. He would state small facts about what he saw around the compound. He often became quiet- reflective. They knew he was thinking of Sun and his unborn child and he obviously had a harder time communicating. His English was improving in leaps and bounds but he still had a long way to go.

Sawyer would get aggravated when things didn't go as he had expected. He was easily frustrated and paranoid but he always made a point of listing out the bonuses to living at the barracks vs the beach. Everyone was sure he said it just as much for himself as for them. He was their reluctant leader through and through.

Juliet was witty and supportive, maternal even. She often drifted off into her head finding it easier to turn off her emotions than share them with the group. Even though Miles and Sawyer often made fun of her for it- she appreciated them not pushing her. After living with the Others for 3 years she had decided it was her best coping mechanism. Juliet had already read Jin and Sawyer's stories and Miles seemed to have no problems retelling every bit of his, but she was having a hard letting them in. She cried behind closed doors and kept her past right where it was.

They were all here now- forced together by fate.

...

Sawyer never slept until Juliet was gone. He'd lay in his bed reading or replaying over their evening conversations. He still wondered what Kate was doing. Was she happy? He usually went full circle and wound up thinking of Juliet again. Kate and Juliet were so different. Kate was a leader, Juliet a follower. Kate was an act now- think later type while Juliet was the opposite. He felt guilty even comparing the two. He knew Juliet caught him staring at her on occasion but he couldn't help himself. Her subtle little expressions, her wit, the way her hands fidgeted when she was embarrassed, or how she looked when she was lost in the abyss of her own mind. Sawyer found himself very much wanting to know what the woman was thinking.

Every night Juliet fell asleep on the couch with a book in her hand and Sawyer would wait until he heard the front door click when she'd wake up then he'd tip toe out and watch her go. It was only across the lawn but for some reason he needed to see her door close when she would arrive safely at home. It didn't take long for Sawyer to understand why Jack felt so strongly about her. She was a beautifully damaged woman and Jack loved to save people. The irony is that Sawyer didn't want to save her but found out quickly that he did want to protect her. She knew every bad thing about him and she didn't hold it against him. He knew nothing about her except she was willing to step out of the trees and shoot a man dead without question just because he asked her to watch his back. This woman may just be the end of him as he knew himself.

...

Juliet's feeling towards Sawyer were becoming more and more mixed. He was arrogant and stubborn but also had this childlike side that craved affection and stability. He was charming when he wanted something and Juliet expected that he usually got his way whenever he flashed that irresistible dimpled smile. She knew he was trouble but at the same time- something drew her to him. The chemistry was becoming undeniable. She found herself thinking about him when she wasn't with him. Yes, she worried about Jin and Miles as well but she lingered on James. It was possible he just felt an obligation to watch her back but Juliet sensed that there was a deeper reason and that maybe he needed her around as much as she was beginning to need him.

Juliet continued to sneak back to Amy's couch in the middle of the night for the first three weeks before the Dharma Initiative offered her a small 1 bedroom house just 2 doors down from Miles, Sawyer and Jin who still shared their 2 bedroom bunk house. She was pleased with the arrangements and to be honest, she was excited to have her own space again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the rather boring set up this chapter. Hang in there. I promise more action in the near future.


	4. Chapter 4

 

 

 

 

 

 

The guys were working shifts with Horace and the security team which worked out well for everyone. Sawyer could keep searching for Locke and keep an eye on "the hostiles" and not even have to lie to do it.

Juliet had begun working in the Motor Pool and had to admit that it had come as a pleasant surprise. She had assumed that the job might be too masculine for her but quickly found that fixing cars was far easier than fixing people. She was a fast learner and found it oddly exhilarating. She detected the issue, replaced the part and life was beautiful again. Simple . She worked with three other men, which didn't faze her. She had grown used to being the minority over the years.

Jesse, the scrawny blond 19 year old, with an awkward overgrown puppy attitude. He was twitchy and had a small stutter when he was nervous but he could fix any flat 4 that rolled through the door. He also loved listening to music so much that he found a way to connect his record player to the intercom in the garage not long after he arrived. Baba O'Riley by The Who was clearly one of his current favorites.

There was Bill. He was the newest to the Motor Pool, he'd recently transferred in from the Flame station. He was the talkative, curious one that had stopped her in the cafeteria on her first morning. He had intense hazel eyes and dark hair with just a bit of grey. He was tall and well put together, Juliet was sure he knew it. He was flirty and always the first to hand her a tool when she was looking for it. She often caught him watching her, she wasn't sure if it was because he was impressed by how she handled the vehicles or that he just liked to keep her the center of his attention. She decided after his first week that it was probably both.

And of course, "Big" Mack, he was the crew lead. He worked part-time and usually handled the invoices, walking around completing inspections with his clipboard in one hand and his coffee in the other. He was at least 6'5 and somewhere in his late 40's and probably couldn't fit his large frame under vehicle even if he tried.

Juliet was feeling good, like she had reclaimed a small shred of control in her life, something she hadn't had in years. No one was pulling her strings. Ben was gone. Well, big Ben was gone- and little Ben hadn't even hit puberty yet. Thankfully she was finding him easy to avoid. It was almost a relief that none of the other survivors on the island had been found even though Juliet was sure that meant they were dead. In a strange way, she felt saved.

...

Sawyer sat at the security monitors watching the screens while Jin and Miles checked the perimeter one last time before their shift ended. It was mid day, hot outside and Sawyer had won the coin toss. After Phil left for the afternoon, he flipped the monitor to his favorite channel..  
The view was of the garage at the Motor Pool. He recognized Juliet instantly- not by her face but by her gorgeously long legs, one bent and the other outstretched as she lay under a VW van. He smiled and leaned closer. He had started watching regularly a little over a week ago- when "Bill" the new guy had started. There was something about him that Sawyer got an uneasy feeling about. He glanced around the screen and squinted as he saw Bill. Sure enough, the broad shouldered man was also looking down and admiring Juliet's form.

Sawyer felt a pang of jealousy.

...

_Juliet_ ... Juliet had a great smile and an even better laugh. He hadn't had the opportunity to enjoy these personality traits for himself until recently. There hadn't been any reason for her to be happy since they'd met. As a matter of fact the first 6 weeks that he had known her, she hadn't smiled at him once. O sure, she'd smiled and laughed with Jack. But not Sawyer. All he got were wise-ass comments-until that night - on the dock, when he asked her to stay. Juliet was soothing, conflicted, clinical, brutal, and even a bit flirty. A man could never pull that sort of personality off and end up being likable.

...

His eyes flickered back to Juliet on the screen. She rolled out from under the vehicle, her blonde waves held back by a bandanna. Sawyer noted Bill's attentiveness in quickly reaching down to give her a hand up. He was also pleased when Juliet stared at his hand just a little too long before accepting it, but that quickly faded when Bill smoothly pulled her up and into himself, steadying her with his hands on her hips.

"Psssh! Capt. Obvious... She ain't gunna fall for that!" he said aloud to the screen. Juliet quickly removed his hands and stepped back, smiling awkwardly as she turned to return her tools and wiped her oily hands on a nearby towel.

"Ha- denied. That's my girl." Sawyer spat proudly.

Jesse skittered into the picture and said something that made Juliet laugh, he traded in his tools as both he and Juliet walked out of the frame.

"Awe C'Mon!" Sawyer growled.

"What's on the tube _LaFleur?_ " Miles said sarcastically- as he an Jin made their way down the stairs and entered the station.

"What?! Nothin... Mind yer business Ghengis!" Sawyer said with a scowl.

Both Miles and Jin had noticed Sawyer and Juliet's connection but Miles was the only one willing to call him on it.

Miles rolled his eyes "Sure thing _Romeo"_ he retorted.

"Though, I'm telling you, That woman digs me and if you don't make a move soon I'm afraid I may have to ask you to step aside."

Sawyer huffed and stood up- sliding his chair loudly across the floor before heading for the stairs.

"Alright. I'm done. Horace and Stuart will be here in 20 minutes. See you boys at dinner."

"Wuhh? Why do I have to stay? I stayed yesterday..." Miles whined.

"Cus, you got a big mouth and I already left Enos." Sawyer said as he slammed the door.

"Sheesh, what's got his undies in a bunch?" Miles said to Jin.

"I am guessing Juliet" Jin said turning his head back to the monitors.

...

Juliet and Jesse had moved to the supply room to take inventory for the rest of their afternoon. Juliet liked Jesse, he was a sweet kid. Funny and smart. He almost reminded her of herself. Just a bit too awkward to be cool. She'd been making a mental list of people she would try to save. It was no secret that they were not in two places in the future- which meant 1 of 2 things. They either get back to their own time- or- they all died here with the rest of the Dharma Initiative. It was a thought that kept her awake many nights. She was always very aware that these people's fate was already sealed but had no idea on her own.

"Gunna run use the restroom. M..maybe we can m..mark the shelf and finish up for today?" Jesse stuttered

"Yeh- that sounds good."

Juliet smiled setting her clipboard down, removing her bandanna and using it to wipe the heat from the back of her neck before tucking it into her pocket then twisting her hair into a sloppy bun and sticking her pencil in to fasten it.

She felt the air in the room change and automatically turned. Jumping with a sigh as Bill was standing less than 2 feet behind her leaning on the door frame.

"Hey" she gave a nod of relief

"How long were you standing there? I didn't hear you come in."

"Sorry Jules" Bill let out a soft chuckle noticing her face twitch a bit from the new nickname choice.

"I'm fine. We were just finishing up" Juliet quickly shoved the thought of Edmund from her mind. He was the only one that had ever called her that.

"Did you need something?" Juliet asked, arching her brow, gesturing to the supplies innocently and picking up her clipboard.

He stood there watching her for a moment then reached out, brushing a stray hair from her face and answered.

"Dinner. With you. What do you say?" he grinned.

Juliet froze, she knew he had been coming on to her but she thought she had more time before this moment to think of a way around it. She turned to face him as her blue eyes fluttered slowly.

"I.." she smiled sadly when she locked eyes with him with a small shake of her head.

"I... can't"

"Can't tonight? or... ever?" He said quietly, obviously hurt by her answer.

"O' no, Bill. I didn't mean... It's not you." she half laughed at herself and her feeble attempt to explain.

Bill was actually a handsome man and he was definitely flirty. Juliet could see how he might be unused to being turned down.

"That sounds so cliché right? I just... I can't get involved in a relationship right now. It's complicated. I- am- complicated."

There was an uncomfortable extended silence as his eyes raised from the floor.

"It's LaFleur isn't it? I'm better for you than that hothead." he attempted sardonically.

Juliet sucked in her breath. _Why was he talking about James?_ Suddenly, she was angry with herself for some reason. She'd actually made a point not to talk about any of the guys while she was at work. Just as she had made a point of not talking to Miles, Jin and Sawyer about them.

"Sorry? I don't know what you mean..." she replied coolly faking a tiny smile as she made a glance to the clock on the wall.

"I need to punch out" Juliet moved towards the door which was still being semi-blocked by Bill.

As she turned sideways to slip past him he rotated suddenly putting an arm up pinning her in the door frame in front of himself.

"Or maybe you only like _bad_ guys..."

Juliet swallowed nervously stopping at the serious tone of his words. He brought his other hand up to toy with the zipper on her jumpsuit. The corner of her mouth tightened. Bill stepped closer. She felt the heat from his body and his warm breath on her cheek. Juliet locked her jaw, nostrils flaring and swiftly ducked under his arm. Tossing her clipboard angrily as she grabbed her keys from her locker looking back at him with disdain.

"Awe C'mon Julie- I'm sorry~ I'm just playin~"

Bill called after her half-apologetically. He watched her intently as she punched out and wordlessly headed for the door. Jesse called from the back office when he heard the door slam.

"Night Juliet!~see ya in the m..morning"

She was already gone.

...

Sawyer had stopped by Amy's and was standing on her porch "chit chatting" when he saw Amy's expression change to a puckered, worried look as she stared across the lawn. He followed her gaze to Juliet's door where his favorite blond had just dropped her keys and blatantly cursed before picking them back up and shoving the key into the lock.

Turning his attention back to Amy, Sawyer smiled.

"I'm gunna..." He threw a thumb up over his shoulder towards Juliet's as he took a few steps backwards.

Amy nodded. "Yeh.. no problem Jim. Looks like a bad case of the Mondays. Tell Juliet I said hello."

Sawyer flashed his dimples then bounded off the porch towards Juliet's house.

...

Juliet slammed her door, dropped into the nearest armchair and tore her shoes off- chucking them at the linoleum near the entry. _Stupid! stupid! stupid!_ She unzipped the top of her blue jumpsuit - gracelessly ripping her arms out of it, leaving her in her light blue tank top with her sleeves dangling at her waist. A knock on the door sent her flying to her feet, heart in her chest. She was ready. If he really wanted her to tell him off- that's what she would do. She flung the door open- her fists clenched in anger.

"Woah, don't shoot!"

Sawyer said throwing his hands up in a mock surrender. His face quickly went from amused to serious.

"What? What happened?"

He touched her shoulder and took a step towards her- her mouth opened then closed as she let out a huff. She looked at him with her fiery blue eyes then backed up, averting her gaze .  
Sawyer had come to recognize this look. It used to creep him out but now he understood it was her way of disconnecting with reality. She allowed him to move her inside but held her ground.

"I'm fine" she replied evenly.

"Is that so? you don't look "fine""

Sawyer reached around and pulled the door past them, closing it but keeping his attention focused on her.  
Squinting with worry he placed a hand on each of her upper arms. He couldn't help but notice her upper body was flushed with pink. _God, she's beautiful when she's mad._

"Hey. Look at me"

_She smelled like flowers and car oil and she felt like summer._ Her now glassy blue pools refused to look at him as her left eyebrow twitched. Her eyes always betrayed her.  
Sawyer tipped her chin towards him.  
He smiled a lovable smile when she finally locked eyes with him. She seemed confused.

Juliet paused warily as though she had an important question to ask but instead she furrowed her brows almost desperately, swallowed hard and sent her hands fervently up around the back of his head- pulling him down harshly as her lips captured his. It was angry- as she tested him- pushing him into the door- waiting to see if he would draw back. He didn't. His lips were salty and his scent musky. Sawyer's breath hitched in surprise, his hands instantly needing to feel her. He growled a bit and yanked her ribs tightly towards his body, she gasped as he returned the kiss just as forcefully. He ran his fingers into her hair accidentally untwisting the pencil as his other hand tightly gripped her hip. Blonde waves fell around her face as Juliet pressed into him eagerly. Sawyer ducked his forehead to catch his breath.

"Juliet..." he whispered cautiously in a tone that let her know that he didn't think he would be able to stop if she continued. Sawyer held her there just out of reach of his lips breathing raggedly, growling as she consented and began to pull back. Her lips were swollen and her eyes blinked slowly as she gave a weak smile. The corner of her mouth twitched as she took an awkwardly long full step backward.

"Sorry."

She whispered heavily, looking down and shaking her head at herself as she set one hand on her hip, bringing the fingers of her other hand up to touch her lips.

"Don't be." He grinned widely still leaning frozen against the back of the door.

There was a moment of silence before Sawyer finally took a few slow swaggering steps towards Juliet.

"So you wanna tell me what this is all about? Not that I mind being attacked in fit of passion by a beautiful angry woman- just ain't usually yer style, Sweetheart" He winked.

Juliet was plainly blushing, her expression blank.

"I should... take a shower before dinner."

She was attempting to change the subject but came off like a self-conscious teenager, fidgety, not sure how to end the conversation and Sawyer was giddy at the sight of her confusion.

"Well, so should I- Seems I was fine when I got here but now I'm all hot n bothered." He swallowed as his dimples twinkled teasingly.

Juliet laughed sincerely in that charming shy way of hers, nodding as she tucked her arms across her chest tenderly.

"James.." she said warning him with that soft sultry voice that drove him crazy.

"Alright, Alright. If yer gunna turn me away from a cold shower - I'll go home." He twisted the front door open.

"Hey. We're good right?" He stopped, swapping his grin for a look of seriousness.

"Yeh- we're good." She replied evening out her breath nervously as she swallowed the thick feeling of attraction growing in the pit of her stomach.

"K, cus you felt that right? that wasn't...I dunno. It's just that -we ain't been here that long n..."

"James..." Juliet interrupted as tried to save him from saying something he might regret.

"I mean, we can just pretend that didn't happen if ya... ya know...just in case...we gotta be careful."

"No-Yeh- of course..We have to be smart." Juliet shook her head then nodded calmly in agreement biting on her lip trying not to let her amusement through.

"Right, ok good. Cus I wouldn't wanna screw anything up, with us or... In case it ain't safe. Even though I'm pretty sure some people got an idea that this might happen eventually cus of your friend Amy being so ... observant an chatty an all...Then there's Miles and _his_ big mouth... You did feel something right? I mean... "

Juliet smiled as she moved in front of Sawyer and touched his arm. He stopped rambling and took a breath.

"James, go home. I'll be over after I rinse off." Then she coolly turned and disappeared down the hall into the bathroom.

_How is it possible that she is so collected? There was definitely a connection when we kissed right?_

It amazed him that he had found the one person in the world that could shut him up and make him smile about it. Sawyer shook his head and groaned as he made his way out the door and back to his own place.

Juliet closed the bathroom door and stood with her back glued to it. _Oh my God! What were you thinking?_ She closed her eyes and pressed her fingers to her lips again as she felt the heat rise in her cheeks. Her smile quickly changed to concern. She was sure she kissed him to prove that they were just friends. That Bill was wrong, but the feelings and energy between them... The feeling was real, raw and it made her insides flutter. What a huge backfire. The only thing Juliet was certain of now was that she was in trouble.

...

Juliet acted as though nothing was different all through dinner. Sawyer couldn't stop squirming. Hopping up to get drinks for whoever needed another- helping clear dishes before people were finished.  
It didn't take long for Miles to become suspicious to Sawyer's mood change.

"Sooo- how was your day?" He said in a singsong tone leaning back and aiming his inquiry towards Juliet.

"Anything new happening?" he continued sarcastically- glancing back at Sawyer.

Juliet set down her glass, looked at him with a deadpanned expression and said " I fixed the number 8 van- there was a coolant leak, started end of month inventory and I kissed James . You?"

Miles's glance darted to Sawyer. "She's kidding right?- LaFleur? O MY GOD..She kissed you? YOU kissed him? HA. It's about damn time."

He bounced his look back at Juliet who was still holding no expression then back to Sawyer who's grin was unmistakable. Miles grabbed Jin and shook him by the arm until he got up.

"There goes my chance- I can't hear another word! C'mon Jin"

Jin followed Miles to the door not entirely sure what had just happened. Miles turned back to Juliet, shaking his head.

"There's only one thing that can mend my fractured heart- They're playing "Texas Chain Saw Massacre" at the rec center tonight. Gore? you ask- YES gore! Let's go Jin! I promise you don't even need to know English to get it"

Jin looked helplessly at Sawyer before replying "Ok" grabbing his half drunken beer and reluctantly following Miles.

"Goodnighhhht you twooo. Don't do anything I would doooo" Miles called over his shoulder in typical junior high fashion.

Sawyer waited for the screen door to slam then looked at Juliet with wide eyes and a _"what the hell?"_ look before he started to chuckle "Well, that went better than anticipated-" _It's about damn time?_ "" He mocked as he shook his head and rolled his eyes.

Juliet burst out laughing. "I'm so sorry. I couldn't resist - YOU were bouncing all over the place. For a conman , I expected better."

Sawyer let out a sarcastic " _Ouch_!" then grinned wildly.

"I figured Jin and Miles should know." Juliet continued.

"Uhhuh" Sawyer nodded.

Juliet finished her wine, setting it in front of her and letting her finger lazily run the edge of the glass.

"Well, least we ain't gotta be there when he starts tryin' to explain it to Jin-bo via charades!"

Sawyer turned his back to Juliet and crossed his arms to look like he was making out with himself.

"Ha-ha! O no, stop!"

Juliet's face was bright red now as she buckled over in a fit of silent laughter. She sat up catching her breath -trying to compose herself.  
Sawyer picked up her empty glass off the table and poured her more wine.

"You're amazing when you laugh." he said absent mindedly.

Juliet froze for a second then her eyes dropped in embarrassment. She had always had trouble taking compliments after Edmund. She took the glass and hovered on the thought that he was out there alive somewhere as a little boy- probably pushing kids off the swings on the playground.

"I say somethin? Where'd you go?"

Sawyer went over and held the screen door open gesturing with his head for her to follow him, she did. He plopped down on the front porch swing then let out a groan. Juliet smiled to herself at the irony of just thinking of a swing as she sat down and drew her feet up off the ground- kicking one of them under herself as she bent the other up to her chest.

Sawyer took a swig of his beer and then looked at her.

"We didn't get a chance to finish our conversation."

Juliet's smile faded and she thought back to the beach that night in the rain, after they'd been chased in the boat and the flash had saved them.

"What conversation was that?" she replied staring off in the distance.

"The one before you started kissing me, where you were about to tell me what happened today" He said calmly.

She raised her chin without looking and sent his own words back from the beach that night back to him.

"I wasn't about to tell you anything"

He reached up and halted the wine glass that was making its way to her lips.

"Why don't you tell me now."

He said- realizing what she was doing was what he had tried to do to her only weeks ago.  
She paused a few moments rethinking her encounter with Bill carefully. Then she turned to look at him. His eyes were this soft sea blue, She noticed that his stubble hid his dimples a bit when he tried to be serious.

"It's nothing. I should've noticed sooner. Said something..." her eyes dropped for a moment as her free hand fidgeted with her pant fabric.

Sawyer sighed.. "Billy Boy?"

Juliet looked at him arching an eyebrow that he had noticed while also confirming his theory that Bill had made a move and hit on her.

"Why didn't you?" He said releasing his hand from her glass.

Juliet looked at him amazed that he was remaining so composed- she was sure he was going to lose it. But he didn't, so she continued.

"I don't know. I froze, I guess. I was angry and felt stupid for putting myself there- It seems to be a pattern of mine."

"Now that I can relate to. Maybe not to having men chase me for my beauty but I definitely feel ya on the whole "history repeating thing" Sawyer confessed.

Juliet smiled weakly. "Thank you- for not jumping up and running over there."

Sawyer twitched a bit, dramatically stretched his neck and flexed his hands.

"I still can if you want me to, or I can just hold on to him while you go all "She Ra" on his ass. Everyone knows he aint been my favorite grease monkey since he got here."

Juliet smiled.

"I know. I'll see how things are tomorrow and if need be I can talk to Horace myself. "

Sawyers eyebrows furrowed as he thought of what the Cowboy had done to make Juliet so upset.

"Okaaaay - your call, but, just say the word..."

Juliet looked at him- blinking slowly then dropped her feet back to the ground.

"Walk me home?"

"You got it, Blondie."

Sawyer said standing up. He pulled Juliet to her feet and hesitated.

"Can I just ask you one thing first?" He said releasing her hand and turning to face her.

"Alright?"

Juliet replied questioningly- her blue eyes reflecting radiantly into his.

Then he leaned in slowly, giving her the chance to stop him. His hand reached her face sliding under her jaw gently tipping her head towards him, fingers resting on her pulse and he kissed her. Her eyes closed. He was soft and uncertain until she leaned in and wrapped her arms around his waist as if it were the most natural thing in the world. This was Juliet. Not hard, needy and furious like earlier, but gentle, languid and heart stopping. Sawyer intensified as he went back in for another- more confidently then pulled back, satisfied. Sawyer's lips lingered on hers as she opened her eyes. Her chest was in her throat. Juliet's look was one of desire and fear.

"Yeh. That's what I thought too."

Sawyer said before turning to walk her home, his mind racing, dimples dancing.


	5. Chapter 5

Juliet was just leaving from the medical station when Miles rounded the corner behind her.

"Hey, ya ok?"

He said glancing at the brown paper bag Juliet was carrying with a bit of concern.

Juliet turned casually at the sound of his voice- replying in a soothing manner.

"Hey~ Miles. Yes, I'm fine... Why do you...Oh, it's nothing. Where are you heading?"

Miles eyed her suspiciously but didn't question further.

"Jin burned his fingers on some bad wiring. Just grabbing some band - aids from the band - aid -stand" he said gesturing to the medical station.

"Is he alright? Do you want me to come look at it?" Juliet replied with a look of worry.

"Naw pretty sure it's just his pride that's wounded. I told him not to touch it. Learned a string of new curse words in Korean though so it wasn't a complete loss."

Juliet laughed. "Alright- I'll see you at dinner." she did a half wave "goodbye"

Miles returned her wave with a Vulcan salute and a dead serious expression.

Juliet laughed and rolled her eyes, clearly amused, as they parted.

"What?" he called out after her.

"It's Star Trek? Ya know?"

Juliet nodded still laughing as she crossed the courtyard.

"Bye Miles!"

The guys were scheduled to switch to night shifts in a few days -until then they continued their routine. They worked during the day, ate dinner together, and hung out until the wee hours before passing out and waking up to do it all over again. Juliet was now waking up in the middle of the night to sneak back to her own house instead of Amy's but other than that- not much had changed. It was remarkably surprising to all of them how well they were withstanding each others personalities. Sawyer and Juliet did their best to act normal around Jin and Miles and honestly neither of them had been brave enough to be left alone with the other for too long since they'd kissed. There was definitely more flirtatious banter but neither of them was pushing- they were just enjoying each others company.

...

Juliet ducked into the office. She looped her hair into a bun to get it off her neck and help relieve some of the heat of the late afternoon then poured herself a half cup of coffee- adding hot water to the remainder. Whenever Jesse was the first one in he had a knack of making the coffee strong enough to fuel a diesel truck.

Bill had been off the past few days so things at work had been thankfully uneventful. They'd finished inventory and Mack had set up a new oil change rotation.

She exited the office and stopped by her locker to drop off her things and grab her Dharma jumpsuit when she heard the walkie crackle from the tool station. Jesse was under a jeep starting an oil change.

"I'll get it, Jesse" She called to him.

 _"Hello? Anyone available at the Motor Pool? Over_." a voice questioned.

Juliet picked it up and replied "Yeh I'm here, This is Juliet- go 'head. Over."

" _Hey Jules, yeh... I got a van with a flat out here near grid 5. There's no spare. Over."_

"Is that you Bill? What are you doing out there?"

" _Long story- can you bring me a tire?... or are you still mad at me?_ " he huffed.

Juliet clicked the walkie onto mute as Jesse rolled out from under the van giving her an inquisitive look.  
She shut her eyes and shook her head at Jesse silently saying "don't ask" as she turned around and put the walkie back up to her lips.

"Give me 20 minutes. Over."

" _Copy that. Thanks~_ " he answered before crackling out.

Jesse stood up "That's past the fence. You want m..me to go? Horace said..."

"No, I'll go. That was weeks ago- I'm sure it's fine."

"You sure? It's really no problem." Jesse stood up- wiping his oily hands on the front of his jumpsuit.

"When's Stuart coming to pick that up?" Juliet asked knowingly.

Jesse frowned, sighing heavily. "Ok, you go." he said defeated as he walked over and yanked a spare tire off the rack and tossed it in a jeep parked out front.

"I'll keep a walkie near , just in case." Jesse said as he dropped back down to wheel himself back under his van.

"Thanks, Jesse, We'll be back before you know it."

Juliet slid into the jeep and tipped the visor- catching the set of keys that fell from it.

...

It was hot and downright miserable. Sawyer and Jin had been out on patrol since lunch.

Sawyer couldn't stop thinking of Juliet. He and Juliet had been getting along so well that it actually scared him. Something about Juliet made him want to get this right. It took him a great deal of restraint to not act on his feelings like he usually would. God knows every time he was near her he wanted to just take her right then n there, but he knew he couldn't do it without risking damaging their new found relationship. For now, he was content to just be around her. His stomach did a flip flop as he thought about her. It was so odd to not be lying to her to get his way. Sawyer was gutted by the idea that she truly liked him for being... well, himself.

He was grateful that Jin was with him today and not Miles. Miles would be grilling him for information on every detail. "How many times had they kissed? Had they made it to 2nd base? Further?" Sawyer was still on cloud nine and a bit in shock over the whole thing and wasn't one to kiss and tell. Instead, Jin and his conversation regarding Juliet was short and sweet. It went something like:

"You and Juliet?"

"Yeh"

"Ok. Good"

Jin definitely had his bonuses. He was loyal, intuitive and thankfully a man of few words.

Sawyer rounded their usual patrol area then picked up the walkie.

"Miles, you there?"

"Yes, _LaFleur_. I _am_ here. Is there problem? You running late? Do you need me to take your woman out for dinner tonight?"

"No~, I don't. We're just finishin' up out here, grids 1-3 are clear, this walkie is low on batteries so if you don't hear from us we'll be back soon. We can check the other grids in the morning."

"Ok boss, sound good. " he replied.

As Sawyer turned the baby blue VW bus towards Dharmaville, Jin put an arm over and tapped his shoulder.

"Uh, Sawyer?" he said as a familiar, well dressed figure stepped out into their pathway from the nearby trees.

"Awe Hell." Sawyer said furrowing his brow as he slowly rolled to a stop. He put the van in park and sighed as he and Jin slowly opened their doors and got out.

"Well, if it ain't Richard Alpert himself. To what do we owe this pleasure?" Sawyer said sarcastically holstering the pistol that he had grabbed off the dash as he approached Richard whose hands were raised slightly to show he was unarmed.

"James." Richard nodded. "... and Jin? Am I right? I just came to talk- I mean no harm."

Jin and Sawyer exchanged a quick look. Jin nodded and stayed back near the door to the van.

"Alright, talk. What's on yer mind Hoss?" Sawyer said as he closed the distance between himself and Richard.

"One of your people, Daniel, left the island, but four of you stayed. I'm curious James. You all seem to know who I am - I would just like to know a little more about you in return."

"What you ain't got a filing system for this sort of thing yet? 'fraid I told ja what I needed to. I can't help you with the rest. See- we can't really explain how we got here being that it would considerably hinder the possibility of us gettin' back."

"Getting back to where exactly James?"

Sawyer sighed and glanced back to Jin. "I don't mean to be the piss in your punch buddy but here's the thing- the more I tell you, the more you have the ability to make it happen and "whatever happened, happened" so if it's all the same, I need to keep _my_ people safe while we're here. Now, I know that don't make much sense and it probably won't for a good long while but that's the truth."

"We can offer you safety, if that is your concern" Richard replied with a slight look of confusion as he processed Sawyers roundabout answer.

"As much as I would like to believe you, my experience with _your_ people has been less than inviting"

Sawyer thought back to that night just over a month ago on the beach when the flaming arrows ripped through the crash survivors- then he flashed to being held at gunpoint in the darkness of the jungle. The sight of Juliet being ripped from his side. He would never forget the fear in her voice and the look on her face before Locke showed up and saved their asses.

"I'm sorry to hear that James, I was truly hoping that we might be able to help one another. Do you speak for everyone? Maybe I should speak with Miles? or Juliet? Perhaps they might feel differently?"

At the mention of Juliet, Sawyer stepped forward in a more intimidating manner. Richards eyebrow arched.

"Yeh, I speak for everyone Ace." He said realizing too late that had he inadvertently revealed a weakness. He relaxed his fists, backing away but keeping eye contact.

"I see." Richard nodded politely.

"Well, then I will return to my leader and inform him that you are choosing to be on your own out here."

Sawyer twitched. "You do that."

"Very well. For now. You know where to find me if you should change your mind. Good day James.. Jin" he nodded again and calmly turned- heading back from where he came.

Sawyer walked back towards Jin who seemed to understand perfectly the threat that was being implied. When the both of them looked again- Richard was gone.

...

Juliet punched the code to the fence and hopped back in the Jeep- The sun beating down on her face. She had no idea where Bill's van had broken down and realized all too late that she'd left her walkie at the Motor Pool.  
She remembered the area well and it still took nearly an hour before spotting his vehicle sticking out of the tree line. She pulled up about 15 yards out-noticing that the van was already jacked up.

Juliet swung herself out of her jeep and walked over. Bill was sitting on the side of the flat tire in the shade of the van looking at her sheepishly.

"The cavalry has arrived at last." He said smiling widely- arms open.

"Thanks for coming"

"Sorry, forgot my walkie" Juliet said as she put her hands on her hips and tipped her head arching her brows.

"Does Stuart know about this?" She said in a sarcastic tone.

Bill lowered his head and then stood dusting off his pants, letting out a sigh.

"Nope, I guess I'm in trouble with him now too" He grinned as he passed her letting his eyes meet hers.

Juliet huffed with a small smile and followed him back to the jeep.

"You just can't help yourself can you? Don't worry, we'll have you back before Horace gets in"

Bill opened the tailgate and Juliet followed, reaching for the spare. As she yanked the tire free her tank top inadvertently slid up her torso against the Jeep bed exposing part of her back. Bill's eyes were already watching her bent over form with a smirk when they automatically shifted to her exposed flesh. His eyes narrowed as he caught sight of her scar.

He reached over quickly, steadying her hip and using his free hand to push her forward by her neck so she had no choice but to use her hands to catch herself. Juliet let out a shocked gasp as Bill pulled at the waistband of her pants, shoving her shirt further aside. His eyes grew wide as Juliet's struggled to regain her balance- her hand flying back to grab his.

" Wait! no. Let go." a slight panic rose in Juliet's voice.

" What the hell... Is that?" He questioned - rubbing his thumb over the raised scar to examine it and forcing a leg between hers to keep her from shifting.

"You're one of them." He growled in an anger tinged whisper.

" Don't. It's..." Juliet's normally smooth voice pitched as she attempted to rotate around. Bill held tightly and she could feel the heat radiating off of him.

"It's not what you think." She breathed trying again to regain a calm tone.

"Please...Bill, Let go." she slowed, doing her best to relax her body against his hold in a nonthreatening manner. It worked.

He took a step back and allowed her to turn and face him. Juliet 's eyes carefully moved back and forth trying to read his.

Juliet's right hand was defensively raised in front of herself floating just inches from his chest. Bill instinctively reached for her wrist, yanking her up towards his face. Sweat beaded on his upper lip. Juliet let out a gasp infused whimper. His other hand was still connected painfully at her hip which she was unconsciously gripping with her left. Slowly and suspiciously he replied.

"It's not what I think? It sure looks like- it -is -what- I -think- it -is. Who are you? Are you a spy?".

She flashed a slightly pained expression from his tightening grip on her wrist, then wiped her face blank- eyes averted down and didn't say a word. There was nothing she could possibly say to explain this. She had learned over the years that it was often worse to try and reason with anger.

Bill's eyes dragged down Juliet's body and back up. He ducked into her gaze deliberately then stood up straight. His jaw set stubbornly.

He stared through her for a moment, then let out a aggravated breath and shoved her, releasing his hold as he ripped the other hand free of her hip. He purposely reached passed her, brushing against her side, as he finished dragging the tire out of the jeep.

She flinched ever so slightly as he bounced the tire hard on the ground in front of her. His features still rigid.

"Well now, what am I gunna do with you?"

Juliet stood trapped in the tailgate unable to make herself move.

"Does Stuart know about this?" He chided sarcastically as he moved back into her personal space- just inches from her face.

Juliet froze holding on to the jeep bed behind herself in an attempt to keep her fear concealed. Her eyes darting back and forth- in an attempt to read his. They had turned from hazel to a steely green.

Finally, she blinked deliberately and gave a small submissive "no" nod.

"Right."

Bill nodded in frustration when he realized he wasn't going to get any more of an answer. He turned- rolling the tire over to the van. Juliet let out a ragged breath that she had been holding. Bill looked back at Juliet, disappointingly then began to work the tire into place.

Neither of them spoke for several long minutes. Juliet didn't look in his direction- just stood where he'd left her- staring off into the trees- her eyes glassed over, her mind racing. Oh what she wouldn't give to go back and have had Jesse come out after all.

"You really weren't lying about being complicated. You do realize what they will do to you if they find out about that right?"

His voice still sounded stern but not as angry as it had. Juliet looked over at him and his furrowed expression was now strangely concerned.

She nodded knowingly and took a tentative few steps approaching Bill and dropping passively down to her knee beside him to hand him a lug nut. She spoke softly as she apologized.

"I'm sorry. I... can't explain. If I told you- they'd... I'll... ask Horace to move me to a different detail ..."

"No. That's not necessary." He said guiltily taking notice of the red marks around her wrist where he'd grabbed her.

"I think if you were here to hurt us, you'd have done something by now."

"Judging by the look on your face- you didn't ask for that mark. So, what?- you're running from someone? LaFleur? Miles? Jin? They all have one too? Are you defectors?"

"No, they don't know anything about it." She said with a culpable feeling that she probably should've mentioned it once they stopped flashing through time and realized that Richard was here.

"Looks like a brand. You belong to someone? You get in trouble? Tattoo artist off that day?" Bill said attempting to lighten the mood but keeping his tone serious.

Juliet's nostrils flared a bit. "You could say that."

Bill tightened the last nut and lowered the jack as Juliet moved back, watching it thud victoriously into the dirt.

"OK then, that does it.. I'll radio Jesse and follow you back- I'm guessing you shouldn't be out here even more than I shouldn't."

Juliet stood up, adjusted the bottom of her shirt and headed back to her jeep flipping the gate closed. Her mind panicked. Bill's voice called to her through his window as she heard his door close.

"Hey- I'm sorry. Don't worry alright? I'm not going to blow your cover. I kinda like having you around, a lot. K? I mean it."

 

Juliet blinked slowly with a kindly sad expression and nodded before sliding back into her vehicle and turning for the fence. Her fingers white knuckled the steering wheel and she could feel the sweat rolling down her back. There was no way in hell that this could end well.


	6. Chapter 6

Sawyer and Jin informed Miles about their encounter with Richard. They set up a rotation so that none of them would be doing the patrol beyond the fence alone. Now, he just needed to tell Juliet.

Sawyer stared out the window towards Juliet's house. The sun had set. It was already well past dinnertime and they still hadn't seen her .

"We gunna eat?" Miles said grabbing a tin of peanuts from the cupboard.

"Why don't you just go over there?" Miles said blatantly. "Maybe she didn't see us come back?"

"Maybe~ it ain't none of yer concern Chachi" Sawyer scowled turning his attention back to a gridded map of the area that the guys had started when they arrived.

"HA- fun fact. Chachi didn't show up on Happy Days til season 5! That's not til 1977!" Miles said smugly.

"Is that so?" replied Sawyer as Miles nodded triumphantly.

A few minutes later there was a knock on the door. Sawyer looked up at Miles with a _"see I toldja so" look ._ Miles rolled his eyes. Jin was closest to the door and opened it to find Amy standing there.

"Hi Jin. Is Juliet here?"

"Juliet? no."

Jin replied looking back as Sawyer strode to the door.

"Thought she might be with you, Shortcake."

"No, I assumed she was here when she didn't answer her phone. Well, if you see her, can you let her know I'm going to spend the night at Heather's so we'll have to go over the new recruits list tomorrow?"

Miles was already pulling his boots on as Sawyer huffed and ran his hand through his hair. He knew that they were all thinking the same thing.

"Yeh, Amy- will do" Miles replied as he joined Jin and Sawyer at the doorway.

Amy turned with a smile "Thanks guys- have a good night"

All three men raised a hand and waved in unison.

As soon as Amy was out of earshot- Miles spoke again:

"I'll head to security see if Jerry's seen her on tape somewhere, though knowing that asshole he probably fell asleep as soon as we left. I'm sure she's fine man." Sawyer's eyes had begun to dart around in thought

"I will go with Miles" Jin said - following instantly.

Sawyer picked up the phone and rang the Motor Pool as he put on his shoes.

"Hey~ Twitchy, Juliet working late tonight? Ok - Naw, I'm sure it's nothin'. Thanks man... Alright yeh, if ya see her... Bye"

Sawyer's pace quickened as he calculated when Jesse said she left work _. 3 hours_. He walked the two doors down to Juliet's knocking casually. There was no response. He bent over and picked up the spare key she had under the mat and opened the door, making a mental note to remind her that it's a stupid place to keep it and she needed to change it. He padded through the house, nothing looked out of the ordinary. Her bed was made- bathroom towels folded, dishes clean. He moved outside and decided it best to go to his house and wait for Miles to call.

...

Juliet had grabbed a button up shirt and 2 bottles of Dharma Merlot, popped one cork and stuffed the wine opener in her pocket. The guys were probably still out in the jungle and she honestly didn't feel like sitting in the stagnant air of her house. She had to come up with a plan. She sat on the edge of the rocks, staring out at the water and listening to the sound of the crashing waves just as she had done numerous times before.

She drank tensely as her mind replayed her encounter with Bill. After the sun set, a cool breeze finally blew in and she set down her bottles- sliding her shirt on and pausing to examine her wrist and gently rubbing the greenish blue marks that were already forming there. _"great"._

" _Where's dinner?" Edmund said, dropping his briefcase at the door. "I clearly called and I said I was on my way home, did I not?"_

_Juliet turned from the kitchen "Oh-I'm sorry- Yes. I stopped by Rachel's to see how her chemo had gone. I guess I lost track of time. I was just going to order Chinese"_

_"If I wanted Chinese I would have gone home with Sherri." he said almost boasting._

_"Instead I came here to watch you pathetically attempt to be useful without a microscope."_

_Juliet's eyes widened angling her brows together as she tipped her head. "Wow... Ed. Maybe you should have " Juliet replied, hurt by his callousness._

_Ed squinted as Juliet motioned sadly in an "I give up" manner. She left the kitchen and headed toward the bedroom to change out of her work clothes. Ed quickly closed the gap between them and wrenched her wrist spinning her into himself before backing her against the hallway wall with a thud._

_"Watch who you are talking to Juliet." he said sternly as his eyes darkened, nostrils flaring._

_Juliet brought her free hand up to grab her locked wrist . She stared at him in shock. Ed huffed dramatically and shoved her free, she raised her hand to shield her face. He stopped, backed up, then laughed._

_"Chinese is starting to sound good after all. Don't wait up, Jules." He stopped giving her a look of contempt before slamming door._

_Juliet stood there for a good while before mechanically turning and walking to her room. She sat on her bed shaking and cried._

She closed her eyes and took a longer than necessary drink from her bottle. Juliet had always kicked herself for not having left that night. Things would only get progressively worse. Even after, he still had his finger over her every move at work. She watched him parade his affairs candidly up until the day he was hit by that bus. She thought she'd grown a lot since then but as it turned out she was the same coward she'd always been. Things today seemed all too familiar. Once again she could feel herself losing control. She felt her face flush in frustration.

Juliet sat there missing her sister, wondering about Julian. Thinking back to when she saw them on the monitor in Mikhail's house. They probably thought she was dead. Who knows- after what happened with Ben- maybe Rachel was. Rachel was her best friend- her defender-forever on her team without question, Rachel'd been her motivation at work and the only person who ever truly knew her.

She put the bottle up to her mouth and silently toasted "to Rachel."

How was she going to explain Bill? If he said anything- everything they had would be gone and it would be her own fault. Sawyer was going to lose it. She took a moment to remind herself how badly James had despised her at first and how much he had changed. Of course, thinking of James led to thinking of Kate.

"Kate".

She said aloud nodding with a pained smile. Juliet took another drink, eyes clenched as the warm alcohol rolled down the her throat. She couldn't compete with Kate. They weren't even on the same playing field. She knew James still wanted Kate. He had jumped out of a helicopter into the ocean and would have gladly drown to save her. The irony was that Kate had been using him to hide from Jack and he didn't care, as a matter of fact he relished it. Like a strange form of self torture. Juliet understood a bit about how he felt when she considered her own feelings for Jack.

She laughed at herself and raised the second bottle clinking them together "To Kate"

She stopped herself just as the bottle touched her lips "... and to Jack."

_Jack._ Juliet didn't care about anything after Ben had officially "claimed her" she really didn't even care if she lived or not. When Goodwin died she shut down all of her feelings and became a shell of a person, a perfect "other" following Ben's every order. Until Jack. Though she'd never slept with Jack- He had saved her. The way he looked at her. She trusted him. Jack reminded her that she was still a good person. But... then again, in the end, Jack had left her when he had promised they would get off the island together. There was something to be said about that. Juliet drank some more.

"To broken promises"

She was beginning to regret that she skipped lunch, by the time she and Bill finally returned she just wanted to get out of there. She stood up dusting off her pants and began walking down the sand.

_Juliet managed to get her emotions in check by the time they pulled in to the Motor Pool. The last thing she wanted was Jesse asking questions._

_"Hey guys. Glad you m..made it back" Jesse said casually._

_She smiled politely as Bill approached carrying the damaged tire._

_"Howdy Jesse" Bill said, checking Juliet's reaction before continuing._

_"Sorry about all that, I was running a part up to a jeep at the Flame, got a flat on the way back. Took a while for her to find me. She forgot her walkie." He tipped his head at Juliet and exaggerated a smile._

_"I did."Juliet closed her eyes and nodded, playing along._

_"He forgot a spare. Another hour and it would've been getting dark." She said back with a tiny fake smile, trying to sound relaxed._

_"Alright then. Thanks for holding down the fort Jess" Bill said sensing the tension as he tossed the tire on a rack._

_"Not a problem!" Jesse said beaming from the positive comment, thankfully clueless._

_Juliet collected her things from her locker and headed over to clock out._

_"Thanks again Jules." Bill said in a serious manner as though the wheels in his head were spinning hard._

How was she going to explain this- Juliet thought wavering a bit from the motion of her head tipping to take a drink. She stopped walking and was having a mock conversation with herself and the guys in her head. She stared off-arms crossed with a bottle in each hand, frozen in her own body as the scenarios played out.

Juliet took the last drink from the first bottle.

"We're all screwed." she said flatly as she plopped down to the ground.

She let got of one bottle and clasped the second and reaching for her opener. After a few minutes and an attempt to use her teeth- the cork popped free. Victoriously, Juliet kicked her shoes off, tipping her head at them as she dumped out the sand in each one. If she was going to have a pity party- there was no sense stopping now, she hadn't even gotten to the good stuff yet. She drank from the second bottle and stared up at the starry sky. Her vision began to blur and she decided it was best to keep moving so, she got back up and walked back down the beach, picking up rocks then tossing them into the waves. Juliet wound up near the dock as her eyes stared out into the black expanse of ocean.

"To me, and my pathetic attempts to be useful." she whispered with a lack of expression as she took another drink rendering the new bottle near half empty.

" _Whatever you think I am, I'm not. I'm not a leader, Mr. Alpert, I'm a mess."_

"To Richard" she toasted as she clicked her bottle on the dock post, a tear escaping her glassy blue eyes.

She quietly wiped her nose on her sleeve and turned towards the compound. She had meant to head back before she had to explain herself to anyone but as she awkwardly dusted off her pants and looked over to the barracks she realized it was probably too late for that. _Time to go home._

...

Miles and Jin were headed back to the house after pouring through tapes with no luck at the security station. Suddenly Miles stopped in his tracks at the sight of Juliet half stumbling up over the embankment. He put his arm out, halting Jin then nodded in her direction, letting out a sigh of relief. Jin lowered his head closing his eyes briefly in silent thanks.

Juliet squinted at the guys' silhouetted figures heading towards her and stopped to straighten herself in an attempt to focus. She drunkenly swung the half empty bottle between her fingers as they approached.

"Heyyy, you two. Something wrong? What are you doing out?"

Miles eyes grew wide. "Are you... drunk?"

"Wuh? Nooo. Well- yehhh. I am." she replied honestly before dropping her wine bottle with a thud and grabbing onto Jin for support. Jin slid his arm around her and Miles quickly took his place opposite him.

"Oh Shiiii... Sawyer is gunna be so pissed. He's been losing his mind looking for you." Miles chuckled.

"Bad day?" Jin asked.

"The worst." Juliet nodded

"I lost my shoes." She stated looking behind herself in vain.

"Yeh- usually "lost shoes" qualifies for a bad day. C'mon, Let's get you home and hope LaFleur hasn't called a search n rescue yet." Miles said dramatically.

Juliet's head lolled onto Jin's shoulder, her eyes closed with a smile and a hiccup as she allowed the guys to half drag her up towards the main lawn.

"You ok? Juliet?" Jin said quietly.

"I ammmm. " she blinked thoughtfully, looking at Jin with a childlike sweetness.

"Is this a new shirt Miles? It's soft." Juliet said turning back to Miles and rubbing his chest pocket as they approached the house.

"No, but you can rub it all you like" Miles said grinning from ear to ear.

The screen door flew open and Miles instantly wiped the smile from his face. "She's alright man."

Sawyer's brow furrowed, he was pacing-his hands on his hips as he watched Jin and Miles haul Juliet up the steps and into the house. Reaching out to pull the door closed, Sawyer saw a dark figure across the lawn appear. He growled and moved inside, locking the front door.

"Sonofa.. where'd you find her? What the hell happened?" Sawyer spat as he followed the trio to the living room.

"Hey... James. Did I miss dinner? I missed lunch - I didn't mean to miss dinner" she said pouting towards Jin.

"Yeh, we all did- like, hours ago" said Miles as he and Jin set Juliet on the center of the couch- she immediately looked up at them with a guilt ridden expression.

"Oh ... Really? I'm sorry guys- you should have... Woah... Is this room spinning?" she asked as she started tipping and attempting to right herself. Her head rolled to the back of the couch and she let out a sigh as she tucked her tendrils of hair back behind her ears. Miles couldn't help but snicker at this new version of Juliet.

"Sonofabish.. How much you drink, Blondie?"

Juliet flopped her head forward to look at him. Sawyer determined that she was either insulted or couldn't recall the question.

He rubbed his hands together as he dropped down in front of her, briefly holding her face then checking her over before grabbing her knees and planting her feet on the floor.

"We were checking cameras in the wrong direction. She was down on the beach" Miles stated arching an eyebrow.

"I... lost my shoes" Juliet repeated through a half hiccup as Sawyer knelt in front of her.

"Jin, grab some water. Miles, get the woman a trash can." Both the guys were standing in stunned silence at the sight of Juliet- lost to liquor.

"C'mon boys-chop chop fore she pukes all over our nice shag carpet" Sawyer said before quietly turning back to Juliet as the guys disappeared

"What the hell were you thinking?".

"I... was thinking... everything." she said stoically

"Is it hot in here?" She continued suddenly oblivious to Sawyer as she took and arm out of her shirt. Sawyer's position in front of her was giving him the perfect view of Juliet's cleavage as he licked his lips nervously.

"I can't believe I'm sayin' this- but stop that." he said grinning as he grasped her hands in his.

Sawyer halted her and she turned her face towards his. Relief washed over him as she quit trying to undress but he found himself staring at her lips.

"You scared the shit outta me tonight, you know that?" he whispered, re-tucking her hair behind her ear so he can see her face. Juliet's heavy lidded eyes locked silently on Sawyer's, the bottom corner of her mouth quivered ever so slightly.

Jin set down the water next to Sawyer and took the trash can from Miles, placing it between Juliet's knees. He stepped away, realizing that Sawyer needed to talk to Juliet alone and he tugged at Miles's sleeve. Miles was still quite entertained until Jin hit him in the arm... Then he also decided it best to disappear.

"Oh yeh, right. Welllll- see you in the morning. Glad you're ok."

Miles passed through the kitchen to grab a bag of potato chips and an apple before he headed down the hall to his room.

"Goodnight." Jin said as he disappeared as well.

Juliet raised an arm at them snapping her head away from Sawyer's gaze  
"...sleep tight- don't let the bed bugs bite." she let out another light hiccup, instantly realizing that she was not feeling well.

Sawyer noticed too and helped her lean forward. He handed her the glass of water which she drank a sip of obediently before handing it back. Sawyer began rubbing her back gently as her breaths became stuttered.

"Don't... Please.." she said as her head dropped down rested between her knees.

"Not .. helping"

"Jeezus Juliet, how my suppose to get your back if you don't tell me what's goin on in that beautiful head of yours? Ain't like I got a file to read on ya."

She turned towards him, blinking slowly at his words. she let out serious huff and whispered

"Sorry" she meant it. She was sorry for so many reasons. _Sorry for worrying him. Sorry they were stuck here, Sorry for what had happened to him on the island. Sorry she wasn't Kate. Sorry about Bill. Sorry she wasn't brave enough to let him in. ._

"You don't wanna read my file, James"

Juliet blinked hard as she recalled saying those very words to Jack, once upon a time.  
He sighed, sadly- he understood but disagreed.

"Yeh, actually. I do."

"I'm not a good person"

"Well, I ain't either! Maybe~ that's why we're stuck here together." he said in jest.

Juliet looked up and stared straight ahead then her face contorted slightly as she successfully fought back the tears that were threatening her. Sawyer instantly retracted his joke.

"Hey... hey no.. c'mon now.. You are brilliant and kind and hell knows everyone on this damn island is in love with you."

"I'm gunna throw up" was her reply.

Her head fell between her knees again as she let loose the purplish liquid that was swirling around in her stomach. Sawyer quickly reached over- helping her finish sliding the shirt off her other shoulder and placing a hand gently on the back of her neck. Juliet held the trash can tightly and wretched until there was nothing left. She remained slumped over breathing heavy breaths in and out.  
Sawyer reached over and grabbed a tissue, waited a few moments before the smell began to rise then he made a face and lifted her head out of the trash can as he stood up.

'All done?" he said handing her the tissue. She accepted it and wiped her face before dropping into the can.

Juliet sighed in response, her face flushed. Sawyer took the trash can from her.

"Sure glad these ain't wicker" he joked- swiftly taking the trash can and setting it outside.  
When he looked back Juliet had slumped to her side.

"C'mon Goldi-locks, up you go. Don't pass out there. Gotta keep a foot on the floor or you'll just keep spinnin'"

Juliet was clearly passed out as Sawyer sat beside her and turned her sideways so she leaned into him. With one arm propped just below her breasts as he planted one of her feet solidly back on the floor.

"You'll thank me tomorrow." She flinched making a tiny whimpering sound as he straightened out into a more comfortable position and reached over to grab a blanket off the chair behind himself.  
Juliet's head pulled up off of him and she reached for his hand.

"No... Don't.."

"I ain't gunna hurt-cha" Sawyer sighed and held still until her hand slipped back down.

"We're all going to die here." she whispered as she drifted back into unconsciousness.

His heart leapt into his throat and that protective feeling began to twist in his stomach again as she lay against him. Normally she seemed so level headed and calm but tonight he thought he caught a glimpse of what might have been the old Juliet. The emotionally fractured woman that she had mentioned on rare occasions. Her cheek turned against him and she slid her hand up to tuck under her chin, just as it always did when he watched her sleep. He closed his eyes and thought of Richard and his conversation. Sawyer locked his jaw and leaned in to rest his chin on the top of her head.

"I got you- I ain't lettin go..."


	7. Chapter 7

 

 

Juliet opened her eyes and brought her hand up to hold the crease in her forehead that was pounding. She quickly realized her upper body was sweaty and sticking to... another body. She rolled her head up and found James underneath her. One arm tucked behind his head and the other protectively draped across her.

_What the hell had happened last night?_

The sun was beginning to shine brightly through the crack in the curtains behind the couch. She held her breath as she scanned the room, refocusing on James's arm lying across her chest, she shifted up a bit. Juliet's eyes stopped on Miles and Jin both leaning against the counter- facing the couch. The look on Miles's face was a classic cocky teenager's expression. He was quite entertained. Jin sipped his coffee, not giving anything away. Juliet began to meekly untangle the rest of her body from James.

"Jin found your shoes!" Miles said louder than necessary as Juliet moved to grab her head again and sighed from the pain rattling in it.

"...and you owe us a new trash can!"

Jin looked over at Miles shaking his head. Just as Juliet slid upright, she felt Sawyer begin to stir.

"Well, ain't this awkward...Morn~in' boys." Sawyer cleared his throat and sighing in a singsong manner. He stretched his legs and groaned as he turned to sit vertically.  
Juliet looked at James and then the floor. Her hair had come officially undone from the day before and she was glancing around in search of the shirt she was certain she was wearing over her tank top last night.

Sawyer grinned understanding what she was looking for as he pulled her shirt off the chair and passed it her.

"Some night eh Barbie? How you feelin'?"

She closed her eyes and shook her head at his choice of nicknames this morning. Jin left and returned with 2 aspirin and a Dixie cup of water from the bathroom.

"You take." he said handing them to Juliet. She looked up at him tipping her as a silent thank you and he smiled gently as he returned to his coffee.

"Soooo- anyone feel like talking about last night? I know I do!" Miles said winking at Juliet.

"O God, I should go." Juliet said hoarsely. She stood too fast and instantly wavered.

Sawyer was on his feet instantly steadying her with a dimpled grin.

"I got ya".

Juliet closed her eyes as Sawyer held on to her- refusing to look at him. Sawyer let her go with a furrowed look of concern as the three guys watched her move silently towards the door-picking up her shoes and bundling them into her shirt to carry them. Sawyer could see the wheels spinning in her mind but as usual Juliet was not willing to elaborate on the battle was raging in her head. She paused before she left, blinking thoughtfully.

"Sorry about...Thank you." She said softly as she stepped outside.

"Next time, maybe let us in on the fun!?" Miles blurted out loudly as the screen door clicked shut.

"Ya know since we're kinda limited on entertainment here and everything?" Miles said to Jin and Sawyer gesturing around at the 70's decor whilst attempting to save face.

Miles shrugged at Jin.

Sawyer gave him a " _really? c'mon you dumbass_!" look and then followed Juliet, catching up to her half way back to her house. She was twisting a few tendrils of her hair back and tying them together, with her things awkwardly tucked under one arm as she walked.

"Hey!" he said touching on her arm before rounding her to block her path. Juliet's eyes were still focus'd on the ground, she was fidgeting unconsciously which was not a behavior he was used to from her.

"You gunna tell me what the hell happened last night?"

She took a deep breath. "Did I say anything? Last night? I mean." she inquired without looking at him.

"No"

"Then, No." She was trying to sound cold but nose flared ever so slightly and he could see that she was actually close to tears.

"No? That's it? You disappear for hours, no word to anyone, show up drunk as a skunk and you have nothing to say about what made you wanna find the bottom of the bottle?"

Her eyebrows angled sadly. "I..." she stopped and just shook her head from side to side slowly.

Sawyer sighed heavily. "Ok, Fine. Listen, we gotta talk."

"I have to go to work." Juliet attempted as she cut passed him continuing to her house.

"No, you don't. Call in sick. "

"James, I'm fine"

"Well, I ain't. C'mon, twinkle-toes" he pulled her by her elbow back to her place and she followed obediently, her head pounding too much to argue.

He picked up the mat and grabbed her spare key as she raised her eyebrow at him curiously.

"Yeh- you need a new hiding spot for this Sherlock." he said as the key sparkled in the morning sunlight.

He led her inside and took a nervous glance around the courtyard before following her in and closing the door.

"What are you doing?" she said - her voice questioned as she moved to the kitchen starting a pot of coffee.

"We have a problem." James replied leaning on the back of a chair.

"Do we? James really. It was nothing, I had a bad day-that's all." Juliet said as she made her way down the hall and came back out with her toothbrush in her mouth.

"No- not that. Well, yeh that, but not just that. Jin and I ran into Richard out on patrol yesterday."

Juliet had moved back to the kitchen. She stopped at his words, turned to hold onto the counter behind herself- eyes wide, toothbrush in her hand. She took a moment to spit in the sink before slowly coming back around.  
"What did he want?" Her curiosity peaked with unease as James moved to sit at the kitchen table.

"He knows Danny Boy left - He also knows our names. But I'm pretty sure that's all- he was fishin for information-..."

"What? How?" Juliet said.

"I dunno alright, I'm workin' on it. Seein' as how yer so surprised by my story- I'm guessin' yer "situation" is somethin' different."

"James, he brought me here. If he knows who I am - it's already too late." Juliet said evenly with a sad look in her eye.

Sawyer drug his fingers through his hair and bent forward leaning on his knees.

"I'm endangering you all." she said blankly.

"No- you ain't! Look- I know, whatever happened... Yadda yadda. At this point, I just wanna make sure we stay as far away from them as we can until Locke comes back."

"If... Locke comes back.." Juliet went back to brushing her teeth- staring at the floor then paused in thought and stopped brushing.

"What?" Sawyer said after a prolonged silence.

Juliet twisted and spit in the kitchen sink again before turning on the faucet and rinsing out her brush.

"Richard knows how to leave the island. Maybe he knows how we get back?" Juliet said keeping her back to Sawyer, blinking in serious consideration.

Sawyer furrowed his brow and stood up "No, no, no- I don't know _what_ yer thinkin' Blondie-but we are _not_ gunna tell them anything, you hear me?"

"Juliet?" He said crossing to her and turning her to face him.

She looked up but her mind was somewhere else.

"Hey! C'mon- we gotta stick together. You _know_ these guys- it ain't _safe_." He reached out pulling her hands away from the counter trying to regain her attention.

" It _ain't_ safe." he repeated for effect. "You gotta let me in. "

He was dangerously close as his fingers traced circles lightly over her the tops of her hands.  
Juliet tipped her head with a pained defeated expression and staggered a tiny breath.

Sawyer sighed "I'm not the enemy here. I know- Maybe~ I was- but I ain't anymore."

The coffee maker beeped, Juliet leaned over and Sawyer released her as she began pouring two cups. She paused a moment then turned back- handing one to Sawyer and clutching the other before breathing in the scent and taking a sip.

"You're right, it was a stupid idea." Juliet said flatly- holding her cup close to her lips -ending her side of the conversation.

"Thank you." Sawyer huffed gratefully as he took a drink of his coffee and moved to the couch. After a few moments of extended silence Juliet continued.

"...and thank you for worrying about me last night but... I really do need to get ready for work." Juliet took her coffee and moved towards the hallway.  
Sawyer tipped his head, sighing with a grin, knowing she was about to get her way.

"I'll see you tonight." She smiled convincingly knowing if she didn't play off the events of last night that he wouldn't leave.

"Promise?" Sawyer said sarcastically as he caught himself staring at her legs.

Juliet beamed sweetly tipping her chin up "Yes, it's sushi night, Jin's cooking. Could you lock the door on your way out?"

Sawyer nodded once trying unsuccessfully to hide his dimples as he watched her glide into the bathroom. _You're killin me Blondie_!

"Don't think I don't know what just happened here!"

Sawyer called out to the closed door as he heard the shower turn on. He shook his head-and sat a few minutes finishing his coffee then made his way outside. Sawyer locked the door with Juliet's spare key, closed his eyes and tucked it into his pocket. She'd probably ask him about it later but he wasn't about to leave it under the mat- not after yesterday.

...

Juliet was definitely more nervous and clumsy at work and Bill had noticed her uncertainty. He had tried to be casual but she still caught him staring at her with a look that was far more serious than it had been before. It was outright awkward and they avoided one another most of the day. She had to find a way to tell James and now she had to worry about "the hostiles" possibly looking for them. Anxiety was on the rise.

...

Sawyer sat in the control room, watching Dharmaville move through another day. He watched the Motor Pool monitor most of the day- Even "hung over" Juliet was beautiful to look at. He wondered what they talked about. He was jealous whenever he saw her smile or laugh. Things seemed normal from his view sans the fact that she didn't work on one vehicle during the course of the day, at least Billy Boy or Cowboy as Sawyer had taken to calling him had been keeping his distance today. He decided that Juliet having a bad day was acceptable - Yeh, she had a way of keeping the full truth from people but hell knows they had all had a few pretty rough days since they'd arrived.

...

"...It's like a bonfire. I mean- one spark flies in the wrong direction and we're screwed. I like a barbecue as much as the next guy I just don't want to be the pig tied to a stake in the middle of the damn thing." Miles said straight faced as he started setting out plates.  
Juliet picked up her chopsticks and took a few pieces of sushi off the center plate, she still hadn't found a good opportunity to bring up what had happened with Bill. She realized she was being distant but couldn't help it.

"Another day in hippieville... We got jobs, a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. We just gotta stick to our story and sit tight. Nothin' happened today- so that's a good thing, maybe Ricardo got the message that we ain't interested "

Sawyer fumbled with his chopsticks before setting them down in exchange for using his fingers.

"If Richard did not get what he wanted. He will attempt again." Jin said as he picked up a bottle of Dharma Soy Sauce.

"I mean we have to consider the possibility that he will try another angle right? Hell, Locke stuck a grenade in my mouth when I first met him and he claimed to be their "leader" I'm not going anywhere near Alpert if I can help it. The guy walked through the fence like it was nothing. Are we even safe here? Don't you think we should be a little concerned?" he narrowed his eyes and turned aiming the question at Juliet.

"Well of course we should-Enos just the fact that you read our files should tell you that. What you wanna do? Go out into the jungle and have a picnic with them? The man has been here for decades and not aged a damn day- I don't know about you but I prefer not picking a fight with someone who can't lose." Sawyer replied.

"I didn't read _her_ file." Miles said still watching Juliet.

"Think about it. She knows the most about them and she isn't saying anything. I mean, technically she _is_ one of them. Right? And while we're talking about it. How come she ended up flashing through time with us and the _other_ Others didn't?!"

Juliet dropped her hands into her lap and sat calmly with her eyes focused on the cheesy flowered tablecloth as Miles vocalized his worries. He had a valid point and she had lay awake thinking about it herself.

"Hey now, Benedict Arnold~ What the hell is your problem tonight? Your parents fightin' or somethin'? I trust her to have my back a hellavalot more than I trust you to- you haphazard squirrel. Stop lookin' for nuts where there ain't any!" Sawyer said warning Miles.

"Sawyer is right Miles. Juliet helped Sun. She saved Sun and Sawyer- more than one time." Jin interjected.

"Juliet is a good person"

"All I'm saying is that we have been here for like 2 months and she's the _only_ one that _none_ of us really knows."

Juliet stood up carefully avoiding eye contact and cleared her barely touched plate.  
She paused at the sink then spoke calmly as she turned to face the men at the dinner table, her fingers nervously playing with her earlobe.

"I didn't stay with them through the flashes because... I'm not "protected"... anymore, I think." She said as her eyes glazed over.

_Juliet was in shock, Jack was at the door with Alex, handing a note over to Isobel. Then the door closed and he was gone. Jack had already lied for her. How had he gotten out? Was Ben dead? At this point everything she heard was hollow, like an echo, as though someone were talking through a tunnel to her. She was stood up and escorted back outside-past Jack, who had returned to the cages._

_"Where are you taking her!? Juliet!"_

_Isobel and Tom brought her down to the beach followed by a small crowd of Others who had come to see her fate. Juliet saw the blue fire burning as she was turned to face a single large wooden beam that had been pounded into the sand. She remembered the sound of her cuffs clinking onto a metal hook above her. The sun was setting and her feet were sinking, making it hard to keep herself standing with her arms pulled above her. She could hear her own breathing quicken in fear. The booming sound of Isabel's voice overtook the beach._

_"Juliet Burke, for the murder of Danny Pickett, under the order of Benjamin Linus -your death sentence has been commuted. You are however condemned to be "marked" and will no longer be under the protection of Jacob. Hold tightly child."_

_She remembered telling herself that she would not scream as she tightened her grip. Tom lifted her shirt high on her back carefully tucked under her bra clasp. Her muscles flexed involuntarily as the scorching metal connected with her flesh. She tried to hold her breath but instead let out an animalistic sob, her body arching. Tears fell and her knees gave out as Isobel removed the brand- ripping her skin off with it as she placed it back in the fire. Juliet could smell the burning as her head bobbed forward. "Julie?" Tom whispered as he caught her shaking body after releasing her from the hook. "Juliet?"._

"Juliet?" Jin whispered questioningly.

"What are you talkin' about? "pro-tect-ed?" Sawyer said in confusion attempting to bring Juliet back from the recesses of her mind.

They all sat quietly waiting for her to continue. When she didn't, Sawyer stood up and moved into her space-The sound of this chair screeching across the floor caught her attention.  
She blinked a few times looking Sawyer very matter-of -factly and continued.

"I killed Danny. I should have been executed. Jack saved me, but Ben knew that I had asked Jack to kill him. My punishment was to be marked as a traitor. It's a mark that Richard would recognize. I'm sorry I should've said something when the flashes stopped. I didn't think we'd still be here." She blinked slowly and looked at each of the men apologetically, waiting for their responses.

Sawyer closed his eyes and lowered his head knowingly as he turned to stand next to Juliet leaning against the counter one hand locked to his jaw. All of the sudden, little things started falling into place. Her being abandoned. Jack protecting her. Her betrayal of Ben. Her wanting to get off the island enough to kill someone.

Miles interjected "Who's Danny?"

Sawyer then turned to Miles with a _not now_ look.

"What?"

"It's ok James, Danny was an "Other"." Juliet informed them.

"So you killed one of your own people?"

Juliet arched a brow and tipped her head - half nodding.

"Damn" Miles said.

"You have to understand Miles, Since I have been here everyone I've trusted has either betrayed me or... died. I've been trying to get home for a long time and Ben promised..."

Jin leaned forward nodding to Juliet to continue.

"Welllll-Can we see it? Or is it someplace naughty?" Miles interrupted blatantly.

Sawyer reached over and smacked him upside the head.

"What's wrong with you!?"

Juliet looked at Miles solidly then obediently turned away from them. Taking a deep breath, she pulled her shirt up away from her lower back and waited.  
Sawyer's eyes were glued to her waist as she revealed her scar fully to them. He found himself entranced by the raised reddish white mark. It was an 8 prong star with a serpent shooting out of the northern most line. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch her but his thoughts were quickly interrupted yet again.

"That is not a "mark". They branded you- like piece of their property. This is not good." Miles said rubbing his hands on his knees.

"Calm down Chicken Little the sky ain't fallin' just yet"

Juliet pulled her shirt back down with a shaky hand and turned back around, suddenly uncomfortable- staring out the window.

"Sorry." Miles said evenly with a keen lack of feeling that wasn't overlooked.

Juliet 's blue eyes locked on Miles's and she replied with a slightly hurt pitch to her voice. "Me too, Miles."

Jin finally spoke as well. " I am sorry also" He said sincerely.

Juliet's face softened "Thank you Jin, it was my choice. What's done is done right?" She said arching a look over to James to check his expression. His face was that of a concentrated scowl - his dark blue eyes squinted in deliberation.  
Juliet released sigh after a moment of awkward silence bringing them back on task.

"Miles is right- I am an "other". If Richard finds out... It could ruin everything we've worked for here."

_"I'm_ not gunna tell him so as long as _you_ don't tell him..." Miles voice faded to a mumble under his breath.

At that moment, Juliet was done and couldn't tell them about Bill. They had had enough to digest for tonight.  
Sawyer saw Juliet nod once deliberately and flip her switch "off" after Miles's comment.

"I understand. I'm going to head home. I'll do whatever the group decides" Juliet said abruptly as she locked her jaw then headed for the living room.

Sawyer gave Miles a scolding look and pointing at him not to say another word before turning to Juliet.

"Wait a second... Ughh. We all know you didn't choose this anymore than we did.. we ain't "Others" or "Hostiles" or damn "Dharmaville hippies". We're US, so -we stick to the plan. Got it?! Or do I need to draw you a picture?" he said condescendingly towards Miles.  
Juliet looked to Sawyer evenly without comment and then turned and nodded to Jin, silently thanking him for his support as she picked up her shoes and headed for the door.

"Hang on-I'll walk you back" Sawyer huffed standing with his half eaten plate.

"No, James. I've had about as much as I can swallow tonight. Finish your dinners." Juliet was pissed, her face flushed pink. She let the screen door bounce dramatically as she left..  
Sawyer sighed heavily.

"Well that went great, who's hungry for dessert?" he said sarcastically as he slammed the remaining food from his plate onto the counter and headed to the fridge- grabbing a beer.

Jin moved to the window to watch Juliet enter her house.  
Miles groaned dropping his head into his hands and rubbing his temples.

"Way to throttle back there Turbo, she was tryin!." Sawyer said as his eyes darted around trying to figure out what to do next.

"How was I suppose to know! It isn't my fault...Don't tell me you hadn't at least thought about it. I know she's not "one of them." I'm just freakin out man- did you see that "mark"? Damn. Those people are crazy! And the way she doesn't talk about herself? How many women you know that don't talk about themselves?"

"Hey, Blowhard..Shut the hell up! She just told you what you wanted to know and you treated her like the enemy. It ain't no wonder she don't wanna talk. Look- We'll figure somethin' out." Sawyer aimed his comment at Miles who held the look of a guilty kid that had just kicked a puppy.

"I'm gunna head over to the recruiting offices tomorrow- find out what I can about "the hostiles" and start researching people we see on a regular basis. The more we know the safer we are. And... I want someone watching a damn camera on the Motor Pool whenever she's workin- we got each other while she's flyin' solo over there. Capiche?"

Miles closed his eyes and nodded. "I'll talk to Juliet tomorrow, unless you want to put another restraining order out on me." He continued sarcastically.

"I might if you don't learn how to keep your damn mouth shut."

Sawyer finished his beer then another before puffing his chest and dropping down on the couch to pull on his boots.

"Screw this. I'm going over there to try n salvage this mess."

Two minutes later Sawyer was at Juliet's door. He knocked hesitantly. There was no answer so he knocked again more purposefully- noting that the lamp in the living room was on.

"Juliet? Open the damn door."

Nothing. He shook his head, stuffed his hand into his pocket and fished out her key.

"Well, I'm comin' in anyways!" _Just don't shoot me!_ he thought.

Sawyer opened the door and walked in. He could hear the water running in the bathroom. _Well, at least she ain't tryin to ignore me_. he thought as he moved towards the hallway. Before he had a chance to announce his presence the bathroom door opened and Juliet took a step out looking back to flip the light off.

"Hey." Sawyer started.

Her eyes widened in the dimly lit hallway as she instinctively threw a right hook up into Sawyer's jaw. His hands flew up defensively as he stumbled into the wall.

"Wait! Owww. It's me!" he said- moving out of range.

"James!" She said shaking out the pain in her hand.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I just came over to check on ya." He said, taking care to notice that she looked like she had been crying.

"No. What are you doing standing outside my bathroom! How'd you get in?"

Sawyer reached in his pocket and pulled out her key.

"I was worried."

Her nostrils flared a bit as she took the key from his grasp.

"Really?" she said curtly.

"Yeh, really. " he said approaching her.

Juliet slipped passed him back towards the front door then turned to face him, arms crossed.

"You can tell _Miles_ \- not to worry. I don't plan on switching sides." she said flatly.

She was dressed in silky shorts and a thin white tank top. Her pajamas. Her hair was pulled up as though she'd just taken a shower and not wanted to wash it. She was gorgeous- her clothes we hugging her in all the right places. Sawyer swallowed hard as she stepped into the glow of the lamp.

"Really James, I'm fine."

"Maybe... but what about me?" Sawyer said lightening the mood and rubbing his jaw as he walked up to her.

"You'll be ok." She said apologetically tipping her head relaxing her features as she reached to open the door for him.

"Yeh? Cus I got this situation... I was hoping to get your medical opinion on- if it's not too much to ask."

"Is that so?" Juliet said catching on and arching a brow at him- releasing the knob.

Sawyer grinned. "Yeh, see- there's this woman, she's a knockout- I mean really" He said loosening his jaw on purpose.

" ...and I can't stop thinking about her when she's not around - and worse yet when I'm standin' in front of her all I want to do is kiss her. It's like my chest gets all tight, and I can't breathe."

"Uh huh" Juliet said with a sultry tone , her eyes blinking at him softly as she allowed him into her personal space.

"Have you tried?... kissing her?"

"Once, and it was amazing but I didn't wanna ruin everyhing so I let go and when I think back on it maybe I may have ruined things when I did let go? You know?"

She squinted her eyes with a smile and whispered "I see."

Juliet reached up to brush his hair from his face and he sighed, pulling her into an embrace. Her blue eyes looked up at him in her arms dropped down onto his shoulders.

"You can kiss me, James"

And he did, fiercely. Sawyer let out a light groan, his hands gripping her hips gently and sliding up her sides. His mouth capturing hers then leaving her already swollen lips - to press along the arch of her throat. She whimpered slightly, heat rising through her belly. Juliet released a soothing breath as he moved her backwards until she hit the armchair locking onto him for balance. Sawyer grinned as he went back to explore her mouth with his. They separated briefly, both breathing heavily. Juliet's eyes were darkly searching his as her hands silently groped at the buttons of his shirt. Sawyer's hands were entwined around her ribs under her tank top as he brushed the sides of her breasts with his arms causing her to arch into him. Heavy lidded, Juliet's fingers gently stroked his chest as she began pushing his shirt off of his shoulders. His hands made their way down to her ass, and then traced around to the front of her waist . Sawyer's hands slowed , his finger tips curved around the waistband on her shorts tightly. His eyes scrunched tightly then opened narrowing as they met hers. _Was she shaking?_ Her head nodded nervously for him to continue as her hand moved down to his waist but it was too late. He sighed in frustration and released her hips moving his hands to each side of her face, pressing his forehead to hers, halting her; a look of anxiety on her face.

Sawyer shook his head. Juliet flashed a pained, but accepting expression as she reluctantly nodded in agreement moving her hands around his hips and resting her wrists the back of his waist

"I know...We... can't, yet..." she whispered with her eyes closed. Sawyer nodded as he let out a frustrated sigh lifting his chin up to rest it atop her head.

"Yeh, we can't." _Did she say "yet?_ "

He spoke softly into her hair "God, I want to, I realllly do- but if we did...we ain't got no, I ain't got no way of ... " _protecting you._ Sawyer thought.

"I don't know... what I was thinking. I shouldn't have.. I know better than anyone what happens on this island." Juliet said sadly pulling away- looking past him her lips still puffy.

Juliet no sooner released him when she found him moving towards her. Silencing her. Her eyes widened in surprise. The look on James face was turning to anger.

"Don't. Don't you do that! Don't you pretend that this ain't real. That our feelings ain't real. I wanted this too so don't you go apologizing. We both know there's something more than friendship here- but we gotta be smart. I won't risk this .. or you, Alright?"

He stopped and took a breath- smoothing out his expression as if he was almost relieved to have all that off his chest. He drug his fingers down his face and continued in a softer tone.

"I've kinda gotten used to having you around and for me~ that's sayin' somethin'. You got it?"

Juliet's eyes began to water. Sawyer reach over and brushed a runaway tear from her cheek with his thumb.

"This ain't easy for anyone darlin'- least of all you, but you gotta understand, you ain't alone anymore."

She brought her eyes back to his with a weak smile doing that slow blink that drove him crazy. She nodded at him and took a long breath allowing him to pull her back into a hug.

"I got you."

"James?"

"Yeh?" he replied into the side of her head.

"For the record, you aren't alone anymore either."

Juliet closed her eyes and took in the warm feel of his body. He squeezed her little tighter to make sure she was real and decided at that moment, he was happy.

"I'm glad we agree." He replied with a wolfish grin.

"James?" she began again as she began to laugh through her tears a bit.

"Yeh?"

"You can let go now... and... if you need to use my shower...you know where it is."

Suddenly Sawyer sighed, he was all too aware that she could feel him hard against her and it wasn't gunna fix itself. He let out a dimpled sigh and let go as he walked backwards towards the bathroom arms open wide.

"Look what have you done to me, woman!" looking down "trouble, you.. are.. trouble." he said arrogantly.

Juliet smiled widely as she nodded in agreement. Her features drained as soon as he disappeared and she heard the water running. She dropped down onto the couch as she let her eyes wander out the window and her mind begin to sort out some sort of plan. The only thing she was certain of was that she wanted this. She wanted him.

As Sawyer rocked on his heels stiffly under the cold shower spray, his eyebrows furrowed in frustration. He could still smell her and he was trying to distract himself from the sound of her breath hitching as he rubbed her body- the taste of her: sweet like honey, the heat that was radiating when he pressed against her. He spun the faucet all the way to its coldest setting. Breathing through his teeth.

_Jeeeez .. that's cold!_ He grimaced and shook his head. His world had rapidly shifted. It wasn't about him anymore. He wanted her. He needed her.

_"Damn, I'm gunna have to talk to Horace about some condoms or.. there... we... go- "_ He looked down and made a mental note to think of Horace anytime he needed to calm his member. His body's reaction was almost instant. He laughed at himself then shook his head in an attempt to clear his mind completely.

Sawyer got dressed and turned the knob to the bathroom his happiness turned to panic. How was he gunna keep everyone safe? He was a goddamn conman not a hero. Why did they all trust him so completely. He was no leader.  
He poked his head out of the bathroom and caught sight of Juliet curled up form on the couch with a book lying across her chest. She had fallen sleep. He let out a small laugh as he approached her. He bent down and brushed his lips against her forehead.

"Gunna head out. You got a bed now you know? It's down the hall?. You never use it?" He teased in a hushed voice

Juliet stirred and her eyes fluttered open. "Yeh. Just wanted you to lock the door behind you." she said lazily sliding upright and reaching to the side table. She closed her eyes and put her hand out to him- opening her fist and handing him back her spare key.  
Sawyer's eyebrows waggled and his dimples deepened.

"You got it, Blondie"  



	8. Chapter 8

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was early morning, Juliet's eyes fluttered open-she looked around her barely furnished bedroom- it felt like a motel room. Devoid of character. She stretched her body like a cat and rolled over- hugging her pillow with a groan. She'd never been a morning person but this was the first time she'd actually spent an entire night in her own bed, behind her own closed door and not stumbled home from the guys house in the middle of the night. It left her well rested but with an oddly lonely feeling as well.

Juliet padded to the bathroom, brushed her teeth and grabbed the little brown bag from under the sink. She held up the 4 neatly counted rows of pills and poked a new one out. Juliet had to admit she was thankful they didn't stop in the 50s when it came to birth control. She had been taking them a few months back but after Goodwin's death - she had stopped. Juliet had seen too much and she wasn't about to tempt fate. She swallowed the tiny pill and smiled sweetly to herself as she moved to the kitchen and walked through the space that she and James had occupied just the night before.

...

The next couple of days were fairly busy. Juliet was off work and spent a lot of her time at Amy's going over town gossip, aptitude tests and new recruits lists as well as helping tie up loose ends for those who were heading back to the mainland.

Daniel still wasn't on the list of incoming people.

...

Sawyer and Miles were caught working double shifts because Jerry was out with the flu and Stuart was in Ann Arbor until the sub returned. Jin was to start working nights as well but for now Juliet still went over to have dinner with him before he left each evening making sure to send food along for James and Miles.

Jin was a gentle man and Juliet appreciated his comfortable silences and predictability. They had a few small heart to hearts regarding Sun. Juliet reassured him that if what Locke said was true and Sun was alive- that she had no doubts that his baby would be born and grow up knowing that he loved them.

Juliet was getting a lot of reading in with the guys working nights but it was temporary and she knew they just needed to make the best of what they had - and they had things pretty damn good right now.

...

Miles was sitting in the security station going over their map when Sawyer began banging on the door.

"Hey Bonzai! Open the damn door."

Miles took the steps two at a time and pushed the door open.

"What the hell- the door isn't locked LaFleur!"

Sawyer stood there with 2 filing boxes stacked in his grasp as he walked through the open door, requiring Miles to step aside or be bulldozed.

"Wow- you working on a dissertation? What's with all the files?"

"These- are my "research" for everyone in the Dharma Initiative."

"I didn't figure the hippies were that interesting' "

Miles followed Sawyer to a large table in the center of the room as he dropped the boxes with a thud.

"Figured since we're gunna be stuck here - we may as well have some decent reading materials." Sawyer said as he un-stacked the boxes and opened the lid to the first one.

"So- Horace just _gave_ you all this stuff?"

"Well, not exactly. But Heather in records thinks I'm _cute_ and told me as long as I have 'em back to her by morning..."

"You man whore, you. How are we gunna read all this in one night." Miles said with a look of disgust.

"We ain't. Just start pullin' out names we know and make a pile. We can triage through some of them and I'll just bring the rest back when we finish. say "I misplaced em "."

Miles sighed in an " _Ok, you're the boss."_ manner and started flipping through the boxes. He pulled out two files, Lara and Pierre Chang, eyeing Sawyer and flipping them down onto the table.

"I ain't gunna go snoopin' on yer parents Enos. Just let me know if you find anything worth sharing"

"Yeh, right- like I'm gunna tell you anything even if I do find something."

"Touchy touchy"

...

It was mid afternoon and storm clouds had begun to roll in when Juliet finally headed in to work.

Jesse was off and Mack was in the office, as usual- Juliet picked up her stack of invoices and surveyed the vehicles that were currently in the garage- making a mental list of where to start. Bill came in from lunch and they smiled politely at one another. He was in a good mood and Juliet wasn't complaining. He brought her coffee, finished his invoices then moved to help with hers. Juliet spent half the day under a VW bus. He could sense her keeping an eye on him and they were both doing their best to seem casual. The rainy day passed fairly fast and Juliet was feeling pretty good about things- and about Bill. Perhaps her few days off had helped both of them.

_Paul McCartney and the Wings_ "Band on the Run" was playing softly over the intercom making Juliet smile at the irony and parallels. Bill noticed her smile and pointed his finger up letting her know he agreed that the song was fitting, returning a smile.

"So- you and LaFleur? That still happening?" Bill inquired as he poured himself another coffee. Juliet was finishing up her invoices on the nearby counter.

Juliet stopped to lean her backside against the tool counter looking at him with curious coolness.

"Hmm? It that still a rumor that's happening?" She asked with a smile before turning back to her papers letting him know she'd rather not discuss it.

"Yep. Gossip travels fast and dies slow. Guessing you didn't tell him yet." He said implying with a gesture making a little air swirl over his back.

Mack walked by giving the two of them an arched eyebrow then headed into his office and closed the door.

Juliet considered her options carefully but didn't reply.

"Good, and thank you... for that -because I assume that he would be knocking on my door if you had told him that I'd seen it. I get the feeling he's the type of guy that might get... upset. Not unlike myself."

Juliet paused over her papers realizing he wasn't going to let it go. She half turned and listened to him with silent interest.

"So... Can we just put all that behind us? Cus I really do like you- and I care and I think you're beautiful and I... don't want to see you get hurt. So- You know- I'm sorry I thought you were... you know... "

Juliet's face flushed from his slew of flattery and she let out a small huff. "Yeh... Bill- don't worry about it." she replied sweetly.

"Good- Cool and...On the bright side, If he hasn't seen it I guess that means you aren't sleeping together yet." He said as he made his way to his locker to gather his things before turning to face her again with a wink

Juliet glanced up, closing her eyes and shaking her head with an embarrassed smile and giving him " _Really_?" look when Mack's head poked out of the office.

"Julie? You still here?"

"Yeh - Sorry Mack- I must have been distracted" she replied shooting a look to Bill.

He grinned widely and shrugged his shoulders.

"No- that's perfect, You think you could stay late? We have a "surprise fleet inspection" in the morning when the sub arrives. Jesse just called in from the medical station - twisted his ankle- showing off with that girl Sara this afternoon so I don't think he'll be here first thing."

"He okay?" Juliet asked with a motherly concern.

"Yeh-That kid is pretty clumsy outside of an engine. He'll be fine- So? you good to stay?"

"Sure Mack, I can do that."

"I can stay and help too." Bill said walking over to the office.

"You're already on overtime Bill- Sorry no- can- do- without permission from Stuart and he's not back til tomorrow. "

Bill sighed and whispered to Juliet as he headed for his time card. "Sorry sucker!"

She closed her eyes and smiled "Thanks~ Bill." she said sarcastically.

Juliet picked up the walkie and flipped to the security channel.

"Miles? you around? "

Miles replied within moments _"Juliet? What's up? Ov~er"_

"Hey~ Miles. Listen, I need to stay late at the Motor Pool tonight. You guys are gunna be on your own for dinner."

_"Ok, Copy that -It's raining cats and dogs out anyhow. I'll let Romeo know._ "

_"_ Thank you Miles- I'll check in when I get home. "

" _We'll ~be~ waiting~"_ He said in a deep Vader voice purposely letting the radio crackle into white noise.

Juliet rolled her eyes- Miles had been trying to apologize for days but he was really bad at it so his sarcastic junior high jokes seemed to be the best he could do. It didn't matter anyhow- Juliet had already decided that she didn't have time to linger on Miles's insecurities.

Bill had gathered his things and stopped at the door, waiting for her to finish. He made a face at Miles's jokes then put his hand up and waved before slipping out into the rain.

Juliet turned back to her work and sighed. At least she didn't have anything better to do tonight. All the guys were working and she would've just been bored anyhow.

...

Sawyer, Miles and Jin had just finished up leftover cold turkey sandwiches for dinner when the telephone rang.

Sawyer stood up and walked to the phone figuring it was Juliet, calling to see if they had eaten yet or letting them know she was home.

"Hey Goldilocks~ ya miss us already?" He said jokingly as he picked up the phone.

"Jim! 14J - We have a perimeter breach!" Phil's voice informed him frantically from the other end of the line.

"Horace is going to sound the alarm- we need you guys to move everyone indoors NOW!"

"What? Are you sure? You sure it ain't the rain or a critter?! I'll check the tapes and call you back!"

Sawyer hung up the phone and moved to the security cameras. Eyes squinting in frustration.

"Ain't no way anyone's runnin' around in this weather, ya can't even see the damn pylons!"

Suddenly a large booming sound shook the ground.

Sawyers eyes grew wide as he instinctively moved to the gun locker.

Miles stood up "That didn't feel like thunder."

Jin grabbed two dark green rain jackets and tossed one of them at a reluctant Sawyer.

The phone rang again as the power flickered. Sawyer tossed a rifle to Jin and picked up the phone.

He covered the receiver and looked to Miles. "That was too close to be outside the fence. Get a hold of "The Flame" and find out what the hell is goin' on."

Sawyer turned his attention back to the phone "Phil? WHY are you callin' me!? Call Horace and sound the damn alarm" Sawyer slammed the phone down and looked at Jin before they both bounded up the stairs and out into the rain.

The sirens began to wail as Jin and Sawyer took to the courtyard.

...

The air in the garage was sticky and damp. Juliet was just finishing up the last of her checklists when a loud noise rocked the building- sending tools to the ground in a clatter.

"Mack? You still here?" Her voice echoed through the garage as she moved towards the office-peeking inside. He was gone.

Juliet turned and bent down to pick the fallen tools up as the sirens sounded. She stopped, pulled her bandanna out of her hair to wipe her hands as she set her clipboard down on the floor and looked back towards the door. The lights flickered then went off. Juliet's heart fluttered. _Perfect_!.She abandoned her clean-up plan and began crawling blindly towards the door. She finally felt its cold metal frame and began to stand up pushing it open. Suddenly, the door flew open and two large hands grabbed her-yanking her up and spinning her around. A hand covered her mouth as the dark figure dragged her back inside.

"Shhh" A deep voice whispered into her ear.

Her breath quickened, heart racing. She could hear the sounds of chaos outside. It sounded like men yelling orders. Juliet dug into the arms engulfing her- trying to regain her balance and breathe. Her feet barely touched the floor. She reached for the tool counter as she cried out trying to pull free but instead ended up knocking more tools to the floor. An arm shifted and locked around her easily, pinning both of hers to her chest. He was reaching for something as Juliet pleaded incoherently.

"No, wait!..."

It was too dark to see. Her feet were kicking uselessly trying to find some leverage. Juliet felt the prick of a needle pierce her. A cold burning sensation rapidly expanded through neck. Her limbs began to tingle and her knees went weak as her vision tunneled into darkness.

...

Sawyer and Jin were drenched and could smell the smoke by the time they reached the rec center.

The building was shooting flames out of a side window.

"Odd night for a bonfire. Think it was lightning? propane tank maybe." He said, eyebrows furrowed in seriousness. They lifted their shirts to protect themselves from inhaling smoke as a few men gathered near a garden hose stringing them together from the nearest house to reach the fire.

"Of~ course~ they're usin' a garden hose in the middle of a damn rainstorm."

Phil ran up and Sawyer looked at him deadpanned.

"Lemme guess- no fire hoses?"

"The "fire hoses"- are in the rec center" Phil spat back insultingly as they all turned to watch.

"It's not that bad, I think we got this" one yelled to Jin as he approached.

"Anyone inside?" Sawyer called out loud.

"No. It was closed for the night- It's Tuesday" a familiar voice answered. Sawyer turned to see Bill cranking on the water valve.

"Where's Juliet?" Bill continued after looking around.

Sawyer pondered the situation for only a fraction of a second before he got a very bad feeling and turned and ran - heading for the garage.

_Juliet!_


	9. Chapter 9

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sawyer's heart was in his throat as he approached the Motor Pool, propelling himself around the building. Due to the rain, the large garage doors had been closed most of the afternoon. The side door was ajar and he slowed as he got closer- readying his rifle as he turned into the dark building. It was silent. He reached for the light switch but when he flipped it he was denied. _Damnitt!_ Flipping it again in vain he whispered to her softly.

"Juliet?"

He cautiously backed out of the building pulled out his walkie as he ran to a nearby Jeep to retrieve a flashlight .

"Miles!? Where the hell are you!?"

_"Calm down boss- I'm looking at footage now. Whattya need? "_

"Motor Pool- Anyone in or out."

" _I'm on it. I'll tell you as soon as I see anything."_ Miles replied, Sawyer could hear him sliding things loudly as he moved to the cameras

Sawyer moved quickly back into the building with the flashlight. His boots were squeaking as he found his way to the storage room- it was locked. He called again louder this time

"Juliet?"

He moved to the office- it was empty. Just as he turned to make his way back someone flipped the breaker outside and Sawyer raised his rifle aiming at the door.

"Don't move!" he yelled as the panic rose in his chest.

"Don't shoot! It's me, Bill." A voice called back to him as Bill rounded the corner into view. His eyes were wide as the both of them got a look at the garage. Sawyer lowered his rifle as Bill continued.

"I just came from Juliet's house- she's not there." Sawyer looked at him with fierce confusion and suspicion before his eyes redirected to the tools that were strewn on the floor. As Sawyer made his way to Bill, his mind was attempting to put the scene together. He looked at the bare tool counter as he heard the distinctive sound of glass breaking under his boot.

"What the..." he pulled back and they both looked down- shining on the concrete they saw a few drops of fresh blood speckled on the ground near the empty remains of a broken syringe.

Sawyer's eyes closed as he bent closer trying to steady his breathing. " _Juliet_."

Bill picked up her bandanna and looked at Sawyer "Oh my God- She- Juliet was still here." Bill stated flatly in a state of shock.

Static crackled on the walkie as Miles's voice echoed through.

_"You better get over here LaFleur!"_

Sawyer looked at Bill angrily.

"Sonofabitch." Sawyer's nostrils were flaring as Bill quickly moved out of his way.

"Be there in 2 minutes!" He answered.

"LaFleur?" Bill called as Sawyer got into a jeep.

"Please, anything I can do to help?" Bill's face was sincere, he looked like a wet stray.

"Go home Cowboy." Sawyer spat angrily.

...

Miles was inches from the monitor, playing frame by frame. his hand clamped over his mouth in concentration. Jin was waiting at the bottom of the stairs when Sawyer burst through the door.

"They took her?! Which way they go?"

Miles quickly moved from his seat and gestured for Sawyer to look. Jin stood behind looking just as shocked as Bill had.

"I think the blast was a distraction, if you watch the garage at the same time frame you can see up in the corner of this frame someone being carried out... Since the garage doors were closed, this is the best I can get. I _think_ Juliet is being carried out. I mean it's hard to tell with the rain coming down."

Sawyer froze the frame- zoomed in - sure enough he knew those legs anywhere. The camera only caught the back of whoever had her. Sawyers mind was racing.

Jin interrupted "We should go now." He was heading up the stairs as Phil suddenly flew in past him with Jerry right behind him holding a tissue to his nose.

"We have people missing!? Lafleur!? I just ran into Bill-from the Motor Pool He said Juliet is gone? Do the hostiles have her? Why Juliet, Jim?" Phil was in full paranoia mode.

Miles jumped back into the seat as Sawyer stood up, half ignoring Phil as he began scanning through the perimeter footage. Jin quietly began sliding the "research files" into a stack, moving them to a nearby shelf, unnoticed.

Sawyer spun around and pointed at Jerry "I ain't got time to explain. Call Horace- find out if anyone else is missing. I'm putting together a team- we're going after her".

Miles and Jin stood behind him in solidarity.

Phil interjected "Now just wait a second Jim- it's pitch dark and raining out there. We don't even know who took her for sure. That's hostile territory and you're thinking of invading it?. How the hell you gunna find your own goddamn hand in front of your face- let alo..."

Sawyer instantly slammed Phil into the cinder block wall. "Cus, that's MY people Smeagol, they took one of _my_ people - it's personal- you get me!?"

"Yeh, I get you man, chill" a stunned Phil choked back as he tried to catch his breath.

The phone rang - and Sawyer released Phil. All 5 men froze as they stared at it briefly. Jerry snapped out of the stupor first.

"This is Jerry. Yeh-Alright. Will do Horace- see you in a minute."

Jerry hung up and cleared his throat uneasily. "Horace is on the way here now- Everyone else appears to be accounted for- he wants to talk to you Jim".

Sawyer turned towards to pick up his weapon "Well, I'm sorry but I ain't stickin ar..." he started when he heard the locking of a slide on a pistol and froze.

He turned around slowly tipping his head in irritation as he stared directly down the barrel of Jerry's gun in his face.

"Jim, please."

"You even know how to use that thing Muttonchops?"

"He wasn't asking- Why don't you all just stay right where you are." Jerry said shakily as he reached over and took Jin's rifle, handing it to Phil- before blowing his nose on another tissue. Miles and Jin glanced at one another in shock before slowly raising their hands in surrender.

"We're wasting time!" Sawyer growled-letting go of his weapon, sweat beading on his brow.

...

Juliet blinked hard as her eyes opened. It was dark. She attempted to sit up when she realized her hands were bound awkwardly behind her attached around a wooden post in the center of the space. She jerked in panic for a moment. She was laying on the dirt in some sort of tent. Fire light illuminated the tent wall from outside and she could hear rain still pattering above her along with several hushed voices. She was still in her Dharma jumpsuit, though it was thoroughly drenched and covered in dirt. She was cold, her fingers were numb and her throat felt raw. She let out a frustrated groan as she struggled to shift her legs, bending them enough that she was able to hoist herself up with her back against the post. She stilled for a moment trying to recall what had happened.

_Someone had grabbed her._

Juliet's vision was still a bit blurred as she listened to the footsteps approaching. The flap of the tent flipped open, letting in more light as well as a strong smell of fire and mud. A blue eyed man with a lantern slipped in took a seat across from her. It was a face that seemed familiar but Juliet couldn't quite place it. The eyebrows, the set jaw. She swallowed hard then held her breath as he spoke.

"Do you know who I am?" he said in a British accent as if she had been invited to this meeting.

"I must look quite different to you now. Although I find it exquisite that you look exactly the same as the last time we met." He reached a hand over and moved a chunk of hair away from her face.

"Scis quis sum ego?" He tried again more demanding in Latin as he drew his hand back.

Juliet's eyebrow arched slightly as she made eye contact with him. Her eyes searching his.

_Juliet flashed back to the jungle- Hiding with Sawyer_

_"Who are those people? Are they yours? Did they shoot the arrows?"_

_"You want me to crawl out there n ask em?"_

_"You don't have to be a wise ass I'm just tryin..."_

Panic rose in Juliet's chest. The young soldier with the British accent. The one who later snapped the neck of the other soldier that was about to lead them to Richard- 20 years ago. Juliet looked away from him defiantly- his face, his voice.

" _What are you doing on our island! I'm going to make this quite simple for you- You're going to tell me what you're doing, how many of you there are and how you got here."_

He smiled wickedly knowing she remembered him.

"I apologize for my harsh tactics in bringing you here, but you have friends that I cannot trust. My name is Charles Widmore."

Juliet eyes were glassy- she wanted to cry but she couldn't- her body was shaking- though she couldn't determine if it was a side effect of the drugs or that she was wet and cold.

When Juliet gave no reaction to the use of his name he reached down beside himself and pulled out a canteen.

"The drugs we gave you are probably making you feel fuzzy- and your throat is probably sore. Will you allow me to offer you a drink?"

She didn't answer and he moved into her space- bringing the canteen up to her lips. The corner of Juliet's mouth twitched as she felt his arm brush against her thigh. Her eyes locked with his and she opened her mouth as he tipped the canteen to her lips, swallowing the liquid as he brushed a stray drop away from her chin with his thumb. "Good. Your reputation precedes you, I knew you would be the most cooperative." He drew the canteen away and reclaimed his position across from her.

Juliet strained a bit to try and clear her throat then whispered painfully. "Where are my friends?"

"Sadly, your friends were not able to join us this evening. I am actually doubtful they will be coming at all. Your departure has raised a bit of a security concern at the compound. I'm afraid it's just the two of us."

Juliet closed her eyes. "I'd like to speak to Richard." Juliet said stoically returning her gaze to Charles.

"Richard isn't here right now either-"management issues"- but he should be returning shortly. I'll see if I can arrange something." Charles smirked as he backed up and out of the tent. Juliet tipped her head against the post and let loose a trembling sigh.

...

The sirens stopped blaring as Jin, Miles and Sawyer were all shuffled into the one holding cell. Jerry locked the gate apologetically as Horace entered the room shaking his head sadly .

"Hey Jim, guys- Look, I'm really sorry that we have to handle things this way but until we know what the hostiles want from Juliet I'm afraid you three are all a liability. We can't have more people getting hurt here. You must understand."

"Yeh Chief, I understand. You trust us but _my_ people ain't _your_ people. We done nothing but right by you all, I swear...if anything happens to her- I'ma kill you. That's a promise."

Miles groaned. Looking at Sawyer with a _"You just had to say that"_ expression.

"See now- that's exactly why I can't let you run off into the jungle in the middle of the night- you're unstable Jim. You aren't thinking clearly. It's not a safe choice." Horace said leaning on counter and rubbing his hands down his face before stuffing them into his pockets.

"Phil, Jerry- go make sure that fire is out at the rec center- and make sure everyone is locking their doors tonight. Then you can head home- I'll call if I need you" The two men nodded and headed out.

"You cannot do this" Jin pleaded.

Miles stuck his face up to the bars, trying a calmer approach.

"Horace. We can still get her back, you have to let us go- you don't even need to help. C'mon man- we're all friends here- What if it were Amy?"

Horace looked truly torn, he shook his head. "I'm sorry guys- we'll discuss the plan first thing in the morning when Stuart is back. Until then, we have to sit tight- it's for your own safety." Horace closed the connecting door and locked it, before headed over to set up his area at the cameras for the remainder of the night.

Sawyer ripped his raincoat off and paced like a caged lion then turned and punched the wall, instantly making his knuckles bleed.

Grabbing the bars violently he hollered " You Sonofabitch"

The anger and feeling of helplessness took over - Sawyer picked up a folding chair from the cell and smashed it into the floor repeatedly as Jin and Miles attempted to hold him back from hurting himself further.

Sawyer let go and dropped to the floor with his head in his hands. Miles settled onto the metal bench in a similar manner- Jin shook his head in silence as he leaned stoically against the wall watching the clock tick.


	10. Chapter 10

 

 

 

Sawyer couldn't breathe. Here he was locked in a goddamn cage, again! He wiped the dry blood off his knuckles with his wet thumb as he stared at the wall in thought. Miles and Jin hadn't said a word. He knew they were all lost in their own pools of guilt over Juliet's capture. How were they going to get Stuart to let them out? He couldn't help but think about what was happening to Juliet while they were trapped in here. His fists clenched in rage as his nose twitched. Sawyer's eyes closed as he recalled their last night together. The warmth of her voice and her body pressing against his. He had told her that she wasn't alone anymore. He was such a fool. That's exactly what she was right now- alone.

His mind was retracing the past few days. The surveillance was not Richard, Sawyer was certain that the guy was much larger. It had to have been an inside job. Someone let the guy in or he knew the codes. Could have been more than one guy. Why would Richard send someone in to get Juliet and risk setting off the alarms when he can walk right through the fence without being detected? It didn't make any sense. He groaned as he remembered the "research files" that were sitting just beyond the door. If only he had gotten them sooner- he might have a clue. That was another thing he was gunna have to try to explain. He had to make this work. For all of his fears, the biggest one was that Horace would toss him, Jin and Miles on the sub in the morning and Juliet would be left behind. He couldn't let that happen. He wouldn't.

It had been almost 2 hours when they heard a muffled knock on the security door. The sounds were of a woman and a man talking intensely- it sounded like an argument. Then the door slammed. Sawyer stealthily stood and moved closer to the wall to listen. Miles and Jin shot a look of confusion between them.

"Was that Amy? - She sounded pissed." Miles whispered.

"Maybe she will make sense to Horace" Jin continued hopefully, whispering as well.

They all strained to hear but there was nothing but silence again.

"Damnitt. She's gone" Sawyer replied sighing heavily as he dropped back down on the metal bench.

Suddenly and quietly the lock turned in the door to the holding room. All three men got to their feet with nervous anticipation. Sure enough, Amy poked her curly head timidly through the space. Once she saw that they were alone- she opened the door widely as Bill walked in behind her with the key ring for the cell.

"You guys ok?" Amy said with a pinched look of concern.

The three of them nodded in silent shock as Bill opened the door.

"Boy, am I glad to see you Shortcake!" Sawyer growled with relief as he was released from the cell. He grabbed Amy and gave her a little hug and spin before placing her back on her feet apologetically. He bounced out into the main room like a fighter ready to get in the ring.

"There isn't much time- we have to go now." Bill said as he hurriedly gestured Miles and Jin back to the main room where Amy had rejoined an unconscious Horace, slouched against wall near the bottom of the stairs.

"He's - gunna be alright? right?" Amy said warily as Bill leaned over and felt his pulse.

"Yeh- though he's not going to be too happy. Just remember what I told you- this is for Juliet."

Amy nodded in agreement. "For Juliet"

Sawyer eyed Bill giving him a nod of approval as he and Jin moved to grab the 2 rifles. Miles went up the stairs and cracked the door checking to see if the " _coast was clear"_

"The rain stopped, for now. If we head east we can swing by and grab a vehicle- it'll be faster." Miles said factually.

Bill followed the three of them out the door as Sawyer put his arm out to stop him.

"Whoa...Hey Cowboy we appreciate ya "breakin' us out" Really- We owe ya big time - but... ya can't come. It ain't gunna be safe and no offense but I don't wanna babysitcha, comprende?"

Bill looked Sawyer dead in the face- it was a look that Sawyer knew- cus he'd used it before. Bill wasn't asking to come.

"Four of us can cover more ground - you won't need to "babysit" me- I would've gone after her without you if I knew where I was heading." Bill said flatly- his eyes darkening.

Sawyer stood there staring at Bill with furrowed interest as Miles quickly ran back down to grab his map off the table holding it up as he came back out.

"The map. Thanks, now we know where we're heading- Let's go."

Sawyer sighed "Fine, we ain't got time to argue- C'mon!"

The four of them disappeared into the darkness of the deserted courtyard.

...

Juliet uncrossed her legs -shifting to bend her knees up to her chest. Her wrists felt raw and her shoulders ached from the way her arms were pulled behind her. Some time aftert Widmore slipped out of the tent, a blonde woman, around Juliet's age, lifted the entry flap and looked at her before sighing and letting the canvas drop back into place. Juliet strained to listen as the woman spoke.

" _What do you think you are you doing? She can't be here."_

The female voice scolded Widmore. She had an air of authority in her tone. She was also British from what Juliet could tell.

_"Ellie-They have information and we deserve to know it."_

_"You know the rules, Charles."_

_"All the more reason to find out what we can- while we can."_

_"This isn't part of the plan. You should've discussed this with us first. With me."_

_"I saw an opportunity and I took it. That's how we stay ahead, by finding the advantage and utilizing it."_

_The woman sighed loudly._

Charles Widmore. The man that will eventually hire Miles and Daniel to come here. Juliet wracked her brain on what she could remember about him. She knew he had a lot of money, off island, and that he had been leader or at least co-leader at some point before Ben. She began replaying her encounter with the Others from 1954. How much had they pieced together? She closed her eyes and rolled her neck trying to will her body to stop shaking -she was feeling nauseous and she kept seeing white spots floating in her vision.

The tent opened again and the blonde woman stepped inside eyeing Juliet curiously.

"Remarkable. You haven't aged a day-are you like Richard? Are you immortal as well?"

Juliet arched a brow and shook her head honestly " _no_ ". as she looked past the woman, unsure how to react before meeting her gaze.

The woman stood with her arms crossed clearly noticing that Juliet was pale, sweating, and shaking before she ducked back out of the tent.

" _How long has she been like that? Are you trying to give her hypothermia? Bring her a blanket, we aren't savages."_

Juliet heard the footsteps disappear for a few moments then Widmore reappeared holding a blanket, a jug of water and a suspicious scowl.

"Seems some of my people aren't very pleased about you being here so, why don't you tell- me- what- I -want -to- know."

Juliet paused in contemplation watching the lantern flicker and then gave him a solid look of defiance.

"And why would I do that?" Juliet said hoarsely.

"What?" He dropped the blanket against a far wall and quickly crouched down next to her, brows furrowed. Juliet flinched lightly but continued anyhow, irritated by the entire situation.

"I ... can't... even feel... my hands, what makes you think I would talk to _you?_ Or.. maybe you'd rather start by just cutting them off?" Juliet finished, setting her jaw stubbornly- as her eyes glassed over, mouth twitching nervously.

His backhand was quick and precise. Juliet heard herself let out a pained gasp as her head bounced off the post behind her.

...

_Juliet grabbed her jaw- her mouth still open. She had hit the edge of the kitchen counter and caught herself with a surprised grunt. A dinner plate shattered at her feet. Her eyes looked up to meet his with a look of pure shock. He grasped her chin and turned her face up harshly._

_"Did you think I wouldn't find out? About your little plan to switch teams? You can't just go applying to rival research facilities and expect me to not know Jules, I -own -everyone in this business." Edmund growled . He released her and crossed to the bedroom, shutting the door loudly. She hadn't seen it coming - she was clearing the table of his dinner. His phone rang. He hung up after a brief conversation and the next thing she knew "Wham."_

...

Juliet tasted blood as she returned her gaze back to Widmore with a look of disdain. He rose back to his feet, his nostrils flaring.

"Let's try again, shall we? What are you doing on our island?!"

What was she suppose to say? The truth? Richard had brought her to the island in the future and a 10 year old boy, currently in the Dharma Initiative- will eventually remove him from his throne and hold her captive here until her and her friends somehow skip through time like a warped record and land on the wrong song- right -in -his -backyard? No matter how many times Juliet clicked her heels. There was no way she was going to wake up from this.

"I can't answer that." Juliet replied shakily refusing to make eye contact. She could feel her heart beating more rapidly.

Widmore noticed her shaking and reached for the water jug. He forcefully yanked Juliet's head back by her hair as he began dumping the water over her face with a calculated intention. Juliet gasped and choked trying to breathe, her arms struggling behind her she kicked her legs out in an attempt to move. Just as quickly as he started-he stopped. a renewed sense of cold overtook Juliet. He set the now nearly empty jug down as he continued.

" _Why_ cant you answer that? _You_ were here looking for _us_. WHY? Where is -John -Locke? The rest of your group? Why are you back?" He stood up and was pacing now as he rattled off questions. Juliet was pretty sure his temper couldn't last.

"I don't know." she said-as he paused- her voice hitching as her teeth involuntarily chattered. She was telling the truth. She didn't know why she was here or where John was.

Widmore squinted angrily as he retrieved a hunting blade from its holster at his waist.

"You _do_ know" He said slowly returning to a crouch beside her twirling the blade then pressing it tightly to her neck. Juliet's eyes watered as she held her breath.

"You do _know_ and you _will_ tell me... Ju-li-et." he said whispering as he traced the letters on her embroidered name tag.

His eyes raked over her body then he reached over violently unzipping the front of her jumper down to her waist. his blade cut at her a tiny bitas she jerked under his grasp. She let out a sob. His eyes darkened at the sight of her newly exposed skin. Her clothes and body were still slick and drenched. The moisture on her pale flesh glistened in the lantern light. Juliet swallowed hard and replied more insistently.

"I don't. I don't know where he is! I don't have... your answers... Please." She hated the panic she heard in her own voice but she couldn't hold back her fears any longer.

Widmore growled in frustration as he grabbed her throat. His knife pierced into her flesh near her the base of her neck in the dent above her collarbone forcing Juliet to cry out, as he removed the blade then put it back in the same crimson incision and moved it adding various amounts of pressure. Juliet's chest heaved from the pain ,her legs flailed wildly and her wrists felt like they were on fire as she pulled on the rope that was binding her.

"Nescio, si placet! ...placet!" She cried in Latin, her eyes now watering involuntarily, as she felt her warm blood running over her collarbone.

A set of voices approached rapidly from outside.

"Charles!? We need to talk." The woman had returned and froze as she caught sight of Juliet. She tipped her head in anger as she shifted her stare to Widmore- her jaw set.

"Now." The woman disappeared as quickly as she appeared.

"We're not finished here"

Juliet's breath was rapid as she clenched her eyes shut and turned her head from him.

Widmore squinted as he drew the blade back and flipped it to it's hilt- he pulled up then drove the blunt end down into the side of Juliet's head, instantly rendering her unconscious again. Her body slumped awkwardly as Widmore huffed heavily and made his way out of the tent.

...

Sawyer commandeered a VW bus that was parked outside the Motor Pool and Jin quickly passed a walkie over to Bill in the front seat as Miles climbed in. Sawyer turned the vehicle and headed towards the pylons. When they pulled up Bill, automatically hopped out to switch off the fence. As he got back into the bus Sawyer shot him a suspicious look.

"What? " Bill questioned.

"How do you have the access codes?" Sawyer said dead seriously.

"Uh, I work at the Motor Pool? We do a lot of parts delivery behind the fence. You didn't know?"

"Of course I knew." Sawyer said defensively as he hit the gas- pondering this new found information.

"Use channel 8- no one uses it." Jin instructed. Bill adjusted his walkie accordingly with a nod.

"When we get out near hostile territory we'll go the rest of the way on foot." Sawyer said as if he were thinking out loud.

...

The drove in tense silence. Sawyer was mentally trying to recall the layout of the hostile camp- he was not looking forward to trying to find it in the dark especially with no one watching his back. They'd have to be stealthy to get to her. He swallowed hard and suddenly realized where they were and tapped the brake causing everyone to lurch to attention as he looked back at Miles in the rear view mirror.

He stopped the bus and Miles pulled the map open, flipping on the overhead light then passing it to Sawyer.

"We here?" Jin said looking out the side then back windows.

"So, these "hostiles". They probably know we're coming huh?" Bill inquired warily.

There was another brief uncomfortable silence.

Bill just glanced from face to face. Not sure what he'd missed.

"I'd say that's a pretty safe bet." Miles said flatly

"You two head up the center...That way..." Sawyer pointed as he got out of the bus-leaning back in to check the map one last time before addressing the guys in the back seat.

"Billy Boy and I will flank you to your right. Stay low and whatever you do- don't... get... shot... Cus I ain't hauling anyone but Juliet outta here. You got me?"

Miles leaned over and popped the side door. His eyes shifting to the back of Bill's head briefly before giving a tiny nod "Let's go Jin."

Jin slid half way out the door - eyeing Sawyer and silently asking if he'd be alright. Sawyer gave him a nod and he and Miles slipped out and headed for the tree line.

"Just you and me Tonto. C'Mon" Bill shook his head at another nickname- Sawyer could see that he was offended but he didn't really care if this guy knew how he felt about him.

They split off from Jin and Miles and walked in silence for a few minutes. Sawyer's rifle slung low on his left side.

"Is it hard to shoot a bolt action rifle as a lefty?" Bill questioned suspiciously. Sawyer shot him an annoyed look.

"Works just fine- thanks fer askin' "

"You know, you aren't the only one who cares about Juliet." he continued.

"S'that so?" Sawyer said, playing dumb. He was not about to get into this conversation right now- his mind was focused on one thing and that thing was getting to Juliet.

"Yes, it is. She's a good person, there's a lot you don't know about her- I just want to make sure she's safe." Sawyer hoped that Bill's tone wasn't implying that Juliet wasn't safe with him.

"I owe her." He said glancing into the trees up ahead.

Sawyer stopped and gave him an irritated look. " _There's a lot I don't know about her? Psssh!"_

"Yeh, okay- Lover boy. Can we do a little less talkie and a little more walkie? I ain't exactly in the mood a heart to heart, if you get me?"

"Clearly." Bill snapped back.

They found a dirt footpath as they entered the tree line. Sawyer squatted down and gestured for the walkie from Bill's hand. Bill passed it over.

"Miles? You see anything yet?"

" _If you look up, there's a campfire about 2 clicks to the north._ "

"Yeh, I see it. Alright, heading that way."

_"Copy that_."

Sawyer tossed the radio back to Bill carelessly as he stood back up. Bill missed the catch and picked it up off the ground with a frustrated sigh.

...

They had only walked about a hundred yards more when they heard heavy footsteps coming their way. Sawyer un-shouldered his rifle and Bill followed him off the path, behind two trees.

The footsteps stopped less than 20 yards from them then a voice called out.

"James? I know you're here."

Sawyer let out a breath recognizing Richard's voice instantly. Sawyer noted that it was unusual to hear him coming as called back into the darkness.

"Evenin' Hoss" He motioned Bill to stay put then stepped out into sight- rifle raised in Richard's direction.

His eyes grew wide as he saw that was Richard carrying a body. Her body. Blonde hair was cascading off his shoulder, glowing in the moonlight.

" _Juliet!"_ Sawyer whispered loudly as moved forward checking the treeline cautiously for any sign of other hostiles. Richard was alone.

"I'm returning her to you. This wasn't part of our agreement."

"Damn right it wasn't!" Sawyer said with a furrowed brow- angry and clearly confused.

Sawyer approached Richard quickly and laid down his gun. Bill came out tentatively, anxious as to why Sawyer would put down his rifle for this man. Richard was eyeing Bill carefully.

"He's with me." Sawyer said glancing back to Bill with a head nod, telling Bill to come over as he reached out to take Juliet.

"She took a good hit to the head, I apologize. I wasn't there to prevent it." Richard said handing Juliet over to Sawyer who easily shifted her into his grasp.

"What the hell happened to her?". He said looking down at Juliet. She looked like a sleeping angel.

"Let's just say the person responsible will be dealt with appropriately. Again,I apologize, this was not planned nor will it be condoned. One of my people chose to act on his own while I was away." Richard said as he looked off into the trees.

"Perhaps we should talk about this another time. You need to go quickly, it isn't safe for you out here."

Sawyer followed his gaze but saw nothing- he nodded and Bill bent down to retrieve the rifle. They turned and headed back towards the clearing. Sawyer couldn't stop staring at Juliet's pale face. her lips were almost blue in the darkness. He could see a dark pool of blood against her ivory skin. He leaned his face to her head- she was cold, clammy even.

"Hey - Richar.. " Sawyer said turning back, he'd already disappeared.

_"Thanks"_ he thought, knowing he truly meant it this time.


	11. Chapter 11

Bill looked back and scanned the trees for Richard, his eyes darted around nervously. He raised his newly acquired rifle and began walking backwards next to Sawyer as he spoke.

"So, that's it? They just give her back? And we walk away like nothing happened? It doesn't seem right to me! Why'd you let that guy go?" Bill questioned in frustration.

Sawyer turned to glare at him as Juliet's head dropped off his shoulder, her neck arched back revealing the wound where Widmore's knife had sliced her. Her arm hung loosely out in front of them.

"Cus "that guy" brought her to us then told us to go, so we're goin'! You wanna stick around for a damn Q & A session, fine by me Cowboy, was nice knowing ya".

Bill looked at Juliet then shouldered his rifle.

Sawyer started back as he pondered Bill's inquiry. He had to admit that through all his experiences on the island he really had no idea how the "Others" operated. People were taken, returned, killed and shipped off with very little reason or regard.

The one thing he had learned was that Richard wasn't a liar.

"I know it don't make much sense! Alright? You can go pee on a tree if it'll make ya feel better, Alpha, but I don't see that there's a whole lotta reason to at this point, we got what we came for and I ain't stickin' around to find out why"

After a brief silence. Bill spoke again, an agitated edge to his voice.

"Look, I'm sorry we somehow got off on the wrong foot. I know you don't like me, for whatever reason- but lay off man, I just pulled your ass out of jail and we both I'm not here for you."

Sawyer set his jaw and didn't answer, keeping his eyes on the path ahead.

"She doesn't look good" Bill said after a few moments-he moved over to feel a pulse on Juliet's neck as Sawyer eye'd him suspiciously.

"Juliet is the stubbornest woman I know. She's gunna be fine" Sawyer replied still staring at Bill's hand connected to Juliet as they walked out into the moonlit clearing.

Bill flashed a serious look at Juliet.

"She's really cold. Might be hypothermia.." He stated as he released her- then taking her arm and bending it up to rest on her body.

"I used to be an EMT, off island."

"Really?" Sawyer huffed

_Of- course you did- well ain't you just Mr. Perfect~!?_ He thought.

Bill stopped and leaned the rifle against himself as slipped his top shirt off. Then jogged forward to catch up with Sawyer, who didn't bother waiting. He rounded them and lifted Juliet's head back to Sawyer's shoulder then added his shirt over her like a blanket. Leaving himself in his white undershirt. Sawyer's brow furrowed

_Hmpph I'd a done that if I wasn't in this damn jumpsuit!_ he thought then quickly scolded himself mentally for being jealous at a time like this.

"Would you make yerself useful and tell Miles and Jin we got her and to head back!" Sawyer spat. Bill jerked his hands to his belt and yanked the walkie off his belt to radio'd Miles.

"Yeh, of course. Right"

Sawyer quickened his pace shifting Juliet higher in his arms as Bill stopped to make the call to the guys.

"Juliet? It's me, Baby. I have ya. Open your eyes." Sawyer softy pleaded to the top of her head. _Did I just say "Baby?"_ She was limp against him and all the relief he felt when he had taken her in his arms was draining away. His chest felt tight.

Sawyer rolled his neck and shook out the feelings that were overtaking him, he knew she was the only one who could calm him. Just then, the sky opened up and rain began to fall once again.

"Awe C'mon, Unbelievable. " Sawyer growled aloud into the sky.

Juliet suddenly began to flinch as the rain fell on her face. Her eyes fluttered open-she glanced around in confusion. She was making a throaty breathy sound like waking up from a nightmare as her arms moved up to grab a hold of Sawyer, feeling blindly. Juliet was shifting and her feet were trying to find the ground. She began shaking more noticeably now that she was conscious.

"It's me. Alright. Hold on. I gotcha." Sawyer said as he stopped, he looked up and caught sight of the VW bus as he eased Juliet down to the wet ground, holding her upper body to his chest. Sawyer stroked her arms, trying to warm her. Her head tipped back as her eyes found his.

"Hey you" Sawyer said brushing a wet curl out of her face. His dimples were twinkling as he pulled closer to her.

"Nice night for a stroll ain't it?" He said with a " _sorry for joking_ " expression on his face as he rested his chin on her head.

Juliet's blue eyes were confused for a moment then she stuttered somewhere between a laugh and a cry. She brought a hand to her face and began to push herself upright off of Sawyer's chest. Her arms felt like noodles.

"Where...?" She tried to speak but stopped as her eyes left Sawyer's and met with Bill's. Her words faded as she shot a look back to Sawyer who arched a brow with a _"I know"_ look

Bill dropped down to his knee and pulled Juliet's bandanna out of his pocket.

"Glad to have ya back, Jules." He said as he reached over and pulling her jumpsuit aside to check her neck, then pressing the bandanna against it gently, rain was making it look worse than it was but it was still bleeding- she winced- taking hold of it as Bill took an understanding step back. Juliet looked down awkwardly at the shirt draped over her and then fumbled to use her numb wet fingers to zip her jumpsuit back up. Sawyer reached down and took it- finishing zipping it up, tucking the bandanna in with a weak smile.

_Soo cooold. What the hell happened? Why is Bill here? Where were they?_

She shivered in spite of herself as she her eyes saw the bus in the distance. Sawyer glanced back in the direction they came from interrupting her scattered thoughts.

"Hey. We ain't safe yet. Can you walk? We gotta go."

Sawyer wasn't sure why but he had a bad feeling and he wasn't about to stick around and find out if he was right. He stood up and reached both hands down to help Juliet up. Her palms met his immediately. He scowled at the feel of her frozen hands as brought them together and pulled her up. He found eyes resting on the deep red rope burns around both of her wrists.

"You Okay?" he swallowed- Juliet nodded- understanding the urgency in his voice. Juliet softly cleared her throat reaching a hand up to grasp her neck as she spoke.

"I think so" Her voice was raw, her mouth twisted in a fake tight smile with that slow blink of hers, silently thanking him. His heart skipped a beat.

Juliet turned and vision tunneled momentarily. Her ears were ringing. Everything was in slow motion but Sawyer tightened his hold. Juliet blinked hard as the bus came back into focus. The rain had died off to a light drizzle again. Bill retrieved his shirt and they moved onward together. Juliet could feel his eyes on her. Watching.

Suddenly, there was a loud crashing noise in the trees behind them. Sawyer's eyes grew large and Bill stopped dead in his tracks and turned towards the sound of something big getting closer.

"What the hell is that!?" Bill said- his voice dropping.

"James?" Juliet said cautioning him in a shaky "is that what I think it is? "tone as she leaned off of him to look back.

"UhOh" Sawyer said turning to make eye contact with Juliet. Both of them knew the sound well.

"Old Smokey. RUN!"

Sawyer grabbed Juliet by the elbow and bolted towards the bus. Juliet lost her balance on the wet grass after only about 25 yards- unable to keep up. She landed hard on the ground with a sob and turned back looking for Bill- her pulse racing. Sawyer spun around when he felt Juliet release his grasp then moved back to scoop her up but paused to follow her panic'd expression back to Bill who was still standing where they were, frozen in fear.

"C'Mon Billy Boy! MOVE!" Sawyer shouted taking a step in front of Juliet.

Bill looked back at them then pulled the rifle up, he turned and fired into a swirl of fast approaching black smoke. The smoke engulfed him and he spun - firing again before the monster picked him off the ground and tossed him straight up like a rag doll. It happened so fast, he hadn't even had time to scream. He bounced onto the ground in a crumpled heap.

"Sonofabish!" Sawyer yelled.

He dropped to his knee then quickly spun to face a wide eyed Juliet. Yanking her into himself he pushed her down to into the mud before throwing his body over hers, holding on to her like a cage as the black smoke engulfed the both of them. The darkness swirled around them as a series of flashes and what felt like small electrical shocks pinged at them. Sawyer's mind took him back to standing next to a train track when he was a kid and feeling the roar of the train as it passed. Both he and Juliet were hyperventilating. The smoke covered them like hands choking, pulling and pressing them downward - then there was silence. It receded almost as quickly as it had charged. Sawyer's heart was thumping loudly, as he held his position against Juliet's curled form. Her hands were covering her ears. They slowly looked up simultaneously afraid to move as the blackness dissipated into the trees.

"HOLY Shiiiit." Miles hollered as he and Jin came running at them from the far side of the VW bus.

"Ileon Jenjang" Jin echoed Miles calmly, in Korean.

Miles slid into them on the wet grass like a baseball player taking home plate.

Sawyer howled "Easy Enos!" as he pulled himself up off of Juliet, still breathing heavily and staring at the muddy, shaking blonde beneath him.

"Juliet! Damn- you guys okay? That was INTENSE. We... should... go." Miles continued, his face locked in serious awe.

Sawyer and Juliet both nodded as they finished separating- looking at one another in disbelief.

Juliet pushed herself up with her hands then folded back onto her knees - both hands moving to the sides of her head her eyes wandered out to where Bill's form lay just yards from them.

Jin paused long enough to see that they were okay then clicked his flashlight on heading towards where Bill had gone down.

"We.. should... go..." Miles stated again as he mechanically reached down to help Juliet up, not willing to stick around.

Sawyer looked Juliet over as she stood

"Ya okay?" he repeated, not realizing Miles had already asked both of them.

"Yeh" Juliet breathed - her muscles were exhausted from nonstop shivering.

Sawyer nodded and attempted to stand but tumbled back to the ground with a pained yelp as he looked at his calf. A dark red stain was growing a few inches below his muddy knee.

"I think the Cowboy shot me in my damn leg." He growled as he reached down- stickin' his finger into the tiny bullet holes in both sides of his pants.

Juliet was leaning on Miles and making her way towards Bill and Jin when she turned and looked at Sawyer's face- eyebrows angled, mouth letting out a breath as she processed what he had said and realized he was injured. She swallowed hard as she let go of Miles, knelt back down and half crawled back to Sawyer gently grasping his thigh as she bent his leg at the knee.

"Woah! Hey now... Owww!" Sawyer winced.

Juliet looked at him apologetically as she pulled her hands away- there was a good amount of blood on each one..

"I think it went straight through." She said in a comforting tone-and a nod, her voice nearly a whisper- he could see that it pained her to talk.

"It's a good thing. You'll be okay- but we need to get you back. How far out are we?" She said turning to Miles.

"Maybe 15. 10 if you let me drive." Sawyer dug into his pocket and tossed him the keys.

"He's not dead" Miles called to Jin.

Jin paused, nodded and turned back to Bill starting to hoist him up.

"Miles, help me." Juliet pleaded as she attempted to help Sawyer to his feet.

Miles escorted a hobbling Sawyer to the bus then dumped him on the backseat.

Juliet breathed deeply as she clung to them. She leaned into glove compartment and pulled out the First Aid Kit-Her vision blurred again as she made her moved around to the side of the bus-she held the door and took another deep breath, blowing out her cheeks. She was certain she had some degree of concussion.

She carefully opened the box grabbed a bandage and a scissors then dropped the kit over onto the passenger seat - leaning over Sawyer's leg which was hanging out of the door.

Juliet gave him a look and he nodded _"Just do it"_. Her arm brushed his thigh as she snipped his pant leg up to his knee and he lay back on the seat- holding his head with his eyes squinted.

Sawyer growled as Juliet steadily and snugly wrapped the bandage around his calf muscle. She braced herself on the side of the bus as Jin approach them then she climbed into the VW.

"LaFleur- move back a seat" Miles hollered as he rounded the driver's side, hopped in and started the engine. Sawyer sat up as he and Juliet looked out into the darkness.

Slowly Jin came into view like a damn war hero- with Bill slung across his shoulders. Bill was groaning incoherantly along with the jostling movements of being carried

Sawyer pulled up and rolled himself over the seat as Juliet shifted into the space between the two front seats, reaching over to retrieve the First Aid Kit again.

Jin carefully bent to lower Bill onto the seat as Sawyer reached over to grab his legs bending them inside the bus. Jin shut the side door and slid into the passenger seat.

"Go." He said- looking back with concern at their busload of injured people.

Juliet reached over and touched Jin's shoulder with a gentle smile then moved her hand up and flipped on the dome light and moved to her knees, she flexed her fingers, rubbing them together, trying to make them work more efficiently, her head was pounding as Miles bumped along- trying to get them back to the barracks. Juliet caught herself twice as she smacked into the back of Jins seat.

"Easy up there Ghengis- we don't need a damn flat tire!" Sawyer said sitting upright, watching Juliet over the back of the seat.

"Yeh? Really? Okay boss- Whatever you say." Miles replied sarcastically, clearly a little freaked out and irritated that it was even a topic up for conversation.

"Ya ok?" Sawyer whispered to Juliet with concern. Now that the dome light was on - he was seeing just how pale she'd gotten.

She nodded weakly and went back to checking over Bill in an attempt to feel for injuries. He wasn't outwardly bleeding anywhere. He was breathing shallowly. Her best guess was that he had either bruised or broken ribs. He needed to be at the medical station.

"He okay?" Sawyer said glancing down at Bill's face squinted in pain as he took deliberate breaths and his body rocked back and forth with the motion of the bus.

Juliet blinked a few times, putting her hands out to steady herself on the bus wall again. She cleared her throat and looked down at Bill. His hazel eyes opened and stared at the dome light. He brought a hand up to touch Juliet's wrist.

"I... I don't know..." Juliet's face scrunched as she pulled back and her eyes began to tear.

"Hey, We're almost back. You hang in there." Sawyer said worriedly sliding to the edge of the seat, and checking out the window as the lights of the barracks came into view.

"James... " She paused to think of what she was trying to say, wiping her nose on her sleeve. She blinked her tears back but slowly realized her eyelids were getting very heavy.

His voice was the last thing she heard before she slumped to the floor of the bus.


	12. Chapter 12

As soon as Miles had reached the fence he radio'd ahead to Amy, Horace was awake and they had been waiting for a call. Miles let him know they were all inbound, that they had injuries, that there was no threat following them and they were headed to the medical station.

The bus rolled to a stop in front of the medical station just before dawn. They were greeted by 3 guns and 4 tired looking medical staffers. Horace holstered his pistol and pulled the VW bus door open-his eyes went wide at all the blood as James slid up and out on one leg groaning in pain as he watched the large streak of red he was creating.

Miles and Jin were impatiently sitting in the front seat with their hands raised, both tentatively glancing back to Juliet and Bill behind them. Sawyer eyed Phil and Jerry irritably.

"Awe C'mon now-I've already been shot so put your damn guns down and help me" he moved back to the bus ignoring the fact that they even had weapons raised at him as he started yanking Bill out by his legs to get to Juliet.

"These two go first!" He ordered pointing at Juliet and Bill. His eyes lingered with a look of anxiety on the blond who was passed out against the far seat and wall. The med team was frozen-eyeing Horace.

"Well gentlemen, don't just stand there-you heard the man. Let's get these people inside." Horace said- his voice pitching in honest concern.

Phil and Jerry tucked their rifles back to their sides and opened the doors for Miles and Jin to exit the vehicle.

Three of the med team quickly pulled Bill to the one and only gurney and wheeled him in He groaned as his body bent while being lifted.

"No-Wait... She's.. " He was reaching back towards Juliet-protesting being handled first.

"You're gunna be fine. We're here to help." One lanky medic with glasses said calmly.

"What happened to him? " Another asked Jin as Miles hopped back into the side door of the bus to peel Juliet's limp body out from between the seats. Both he and Jin shot Sawyer a look letting them know whatever he said - they'd back his story.

Sawyer sighed- his eyes darting around. "He tripped in the dark. Landed on the rifle I gave him, shot me in the leg and knocked himself out cold." He paused in thought-it was close to the truth. "Yeh- tha's about it boys, Billy Boy is damn lucky he didn't kill himself."

"He was unconscious? Where'd all the blood come from?" Another said as they pressed Bill's head down to keep him form moving around. Sawyer looked over in confusion at his white undershirt which was streaked in Juliet's bloody hand prints.

"It ain't' his- it's mine." Sawyer huffed in acknowledgement- gesturing to his leg which was clearly bleeding more now that he was upright.

Miles slid Juliet out to Jin's waiting arms and he easily carried her inside. Sawyer began hobbling after them as Miles ducked under his shoulder to help.

"And what happened to her?" The 4th voice inquired noting that she was covered in mud and blood.

"She's been cold and wet for too long... And~ she got her bell rung, 'fraid that's all I know til she wakes up again. Doc."

The man nodded and moved to follow Jin.

Horace put his hand up- touching Sawyer's shoulder comfortingly. Sawyer looked at him and closed his eyes knowingly.

"Jim, They have this... I'm gunna need to get the full story as soon as possible so that you don't forget details that might be important. I don't want to risk any more lives tonight- you understand?"

Sawyer nodded his head towards the door "Yeh Chief, I know, C'mon - I'll tell ya everything while I get my band aids put on."

...

The medical station was buzzing with people. Jin and Miles were moved outside and sat on the bench near the door in silence. After a few minutes Amy appeared from across the lawn holding two cups of coffee, one for each of them. She sat down and the three of them waited together. Phil and Jerry had returned to the security building to keep a watchful eye on the cameras and Horace was inside waiting to speak with LaFleur.

Sawyer sat on a bed with his right leg elevated in one of the three partitioned stations, a middle aged nurse had just arrived early for her normal 5am shift. Her eyes wide as she walked in until a doctor took her aside and explained what was happening. She quickly flipped into "medical mode" and made her way to Sawyer with a small tray of supplies. Sawyer was closest to the door. Juliet was on the far end and Bill- in between. Flimsy white curtains were drawn around both Bill and Juliet as the voices continued to triage their situations.

The nurse introduced herself as "Betty"- to which Sawyer let out a small laugh then gave a apologetic nod as she removed the bandage from his leg and began cleaning his wounds. Sawyer listened intently for any word on Bill or Juliet as he grimaced through being stitched up. Juliet was right- the bullet had gone right through his calf muscle. His memory replayed the moment that he heard the gun go off.

He had just stepped in front of Juliet. He realized that if he hadn't- the bullet wouldn't have gone through his leg- it would've gone into Juliet. His breath hitched.

Sawyer could hear Bill mumbling again. He was awake but not making much sense.

_"I understand that you feel disoriented. We'll need to move you to X-ray, try to lay still, Bill. You are in good hands._ " a man's voice said

" _He probably has a grade II concussion, nothing feels broken- hopefully just a few bruised ribs_ " said the other, which sounded like the lanky one as far as Sawyer could tell.

" _Yeh, seems about right. Let's go find out for sure - then I guess we just let the island do the rest."_

Horace pulled Sawyer's side of the curtain back and stepped in as the nurse finished wrapping his leg. Sawyer watched 2 doctors wheel Bill passed him and down the hall to X-ray. He still couldn't hear what was happening with Juliet and it was making him more nervous than he wanted to admit. He thought he'd heard her voice but couldn't be sure.

"You'll need to stay off this leg. Keep it elevated. Don't get it wet. You can use an ice pack- that will help if it starts swelling. You're lucky your friend was a lousy shot".

She smiled at Sawyer then nodded at Horace to let him know she was done as she took her tray and left.

Sawyer looked up at Horace straight-faced. Horace was looking disappointed but not nearly as angry as Sawyer thought he should.

"How's the leg Jim?" Horace inquired calmly.

Sawyer shook his head as replied; understanding that what Horace was really trying to ask was " _Why'd ya do it Jim?"_

"You know I couldn't just sit around. You've known that about me from the night we met, H. I'm sorry but it ain't my style to "wait n see". Especially when it comes to one of my own."

Horace nodded with a look of parental understanding.

They talked quietly as Sawyer explained the story about Richard. He voiced his opinions about it being someone on the inside- especially since Richard hadn't known about it- his eyes drifted over towards Juliet as he thought he heard her voice again. Horace agreed that they needed to do some investigating. Sawyer left out the part about the black smoke monster barreling out of the trees at them- he figured he'd find out how much they knew about it before dropping that bomb. Horace nodded in serious thought and started rattling off names that were of interest when he noticed that Sawyer was no longer paying attention and the look on his face had changed into a furrowed anger. Horace stopped talking as they heard a loud crash of a metal tray and medical instruments hit the floor .

" _Let go!_ " Juliet's voice rang out followed by a solid thud.

Sawyer was on his feet, hobbling over and yanking the curtain back instantly. Horace right behind him.

There were 2 medical staff with her- one on each side- Juliet had kicked the metal rolling cart over and was trying to get out of bed. Her nostrils were flaring. Sawyer could see that they had cut her clothes away, the fabric lying uselessly on the floor. She was in a hospital gown. There was already an IV needle attached to her bare arm. The larger doctor was pressing across her upper body to keep her from sitting up while pinning her "IV arm". The other doctor had solid hold of her knees, attempting to pull a electric blanket back over her legs.

"Betty! Bring some restraints... She's going rip this out and end up hurting herself even more." he said gesturing to the IV.

Juliet breathed out roughly "No. I'm-not-. Get off of me!" arching her body against the weight that was immobilizing her.

Sawyer smiled a little a the fiery attitude then moved instantly around the doctors close to Juliet's head.

"Looks like some~one's feelin' better." He said flashin' his dimples at Juliet.

"You can't be in here!" The larger man said.

Sawyer ignored him talking directly to Juliet. The muscles in her neck were flexed and her face was flushed- a tear of frustration rolling back into her finally dry golden hair.

"Hey - Hey! Hang on now. It's me. Juliet? Look at me." Sawyer placed a hand across her forehead stroking the side of her throat just under her ear sweetly.

Juliet's breath was tight and ragged - Sawyer could see her shaking but she wasn't cold anymore. She was mad. Her crystal eyes looked up at his hair falling in his face, his jaw, his scruffy start of a beard, his lips. Her breathing slowed steadily her gaze becoming more focused. When her eyes reached his- her body was no longer struggling. She was drained.

The doctor's both let out a sigh as they eased off of her, one reaching over to rub his jaw.

"She hit me." the doctor said flatly as the nurse returned with the restraints passing them over to the closest doctor. Nurse Betty shot Sawyer a serious look of disapproval for being on his wounded leg. He made an "Ooops" face at her then looked back to Juliet.

"Don't... go..." Juliet said, the corner of her mouth twitching as her arm reached over to wrap around his bicep.

"I'm not goin anywhere" He leaned down pressing his lips to her forehead as her eyes fluttered. He knew it was hard for her to ask.

"I'm so tired." She said almost apologetically as she fought to keep her eyes open before surrendering with a sigh.

They all stared quietly for a few moments, everyone watching her. Sawyer's dragged up at the man now holding the leather, belt-like, restraints.

"You can't use those!" Sawyer spat as he gestured to Juliet's already roped burned wrists noticing her hands were still red with his dried blood.

"Where's yer decency?- We don't even know what happened to her yet and here you are about to go traumatizing a trauma patient?"

He looked at Horace who had been standing motionless against the wall- watching the entire scene play out.

"He's right gentlemen. I don't think it's a good idea." Horace said stepping forward grasping his chin with worry.

"Thank you." Sawyer breathed as he saw the nurse leave and return with an additional chair.

"Sit." she demanded. Sawyer did as he was told and sat in the chair that was already there scooting it in so he could still reach Juliet then he turned and swung his leg up on new chair. giving the nurse a "Better?" look. She rolled her eyes and left the room to help the lanky doctor that had returned to get Bill settled.

"Your call Mr. Goodspeed. She took about 14 stitches." The doctor nodded at the bandage that was partially covered by Juliet's gown on her neck. Sawyer frowned.

"and... she has at least a grade IV concussion if not a V, we'll know more when she can remember what happened."

Sawyer swallowed as he looked at the 2nd doctor with questioningly. _What the hell does that mean_?

"It means, she can't remember that period of time. It's common with this type of mild head injury, she will need to stay at least part of today for observation but then should be good to go home as long as someone is around to watch her."

Sawyer's sigh of relief was noticeable.

Juliet hitched her breath, eyes opening again. She didn't move. Just stared at the wall like she was trying to recall where she left her keys. Sawyer watched her, giving a squeeze to her forearm.

"Looks like we're done for now- I'll check back in a bit." The doctor said rubbing his jaw again as he stepped out.

"I'll let Miles and Jin know- I'm sure they are concerned. I'll bring you back some breakfast and then we go over things again." Horace said as he stuffed his hands in his pockets and headed out.

Sawyer nodded at Horace then looked over at Juliet with a shake of his head.

"You gotta stop punching people. They may start takin' it personal"

_"Great job today ladies. Please check out the new schedule on your way out, we have a Self Defense II class beginning next week" A woman's voice echoed as Juliet gathered her things and met Rachel by the door._

_"Thank you and remember... It doesn't matter who you were, it only matters who you are"._

"There you go again." Sawyer whispered bringing Juliet back to the present.

Juliet huffed and let out a tiny smile as her eyes met his.

"How's your leg?" She whispered seriously as soon as they were alone.

"You were right. Nothing broken. Bullet went straight through. I'll be good as new in a few days"

She blinked sweetly and nodded. "Good."

Her voice was already sounding better and Sawyer was grateful.

Juliet looked around then slowly brought herself up to a sitting position, crossing her legs beneath her blanket. Sawyer shifted nervously.

"Uh...Should you be doin' that?"

Her eyebrow arched at him.

"You think that's bad? Watch this..."

She took her "IV'd" arm and held it to her chest. Sawyer's eyes went wide and before he could stop her she took a deep breath and slid the needle out of her wrist dropping off the far side of the bed and covering the hole to keep it from bleeding everywhere.

"Juliet!" Sawyer said in a loud whisper like she just stole a piece of candy in front of a store clerk.

"Jeezus!" He continued as he spun around and half stood - hopping to reach a box of nearby tissues for the top of her wrist.

Juliet's eyes squinted as she stared off at the wall again. Sawyer took her arm from her and held the tissue tightly to stop the bleeding.

"I don't remember..." She said after a few more minutes.

He looked up at her. "Any of it?"

She shook her head _"No_ "

"Nothing until you were carrying me back to the bus. How long was I gone?"

Sawyer felt a pang of guilt. "Too long" he replied.

"What about earlier?" Sawyer tried.

Juliet's brow furrowed, her mouth tight. She shook her head again shrugging and feeling useless as her fingers played lightly on her lip.

"I heard... a loud noise- the lights went out... That's it."

"Don't worry. Okay? We'll figure it out" He said checking to make sure she'd stopped bleeding and using his free hand to tuck her hair behind her ear.

"Yeh." she nodded stoically before flashing him a weak smile.

"James?"

"UhHuh?"

"Thank you... for coming after me."

Sawyer growled with grin and stood up- tossing the box aside as he slid up behind her on the bed. She closed her eyes at the feel of his body softly brushing behind her. Juliet tipped her head down timidly turning as he placed himself around her with a leg on each side and leaned back onto the pillow tapping his chest in a " _C'mere_ " motion. Juliet blinked in that shy way of hers then obediently curled into him flinching briefly from the pain at her neck-but careful not to touch his leg. She drew her fingers up his chest and rested her head on him, listening to his heart beat. Sawyer sighed comfortably as he reached down and pulled the blanket up to Juliet's shoulder then wrapped an arm around her and closed his eyes.


	13. Chapter 13

 

Juliet was awakened twice over the next four hours for observational checks. The nurse was unhappy that she removed her IV but agreed to not put it back in and instead brought her a pitcher filled with water and a stack of Styrofoam cups.

James had been scolded and reluctantly returned to his chair after the first check. It was now late morning and Horace still hadn't returned (that she knew of). Juliet awoke on her own and lay there watching James sleeping awkwardly draped across two uncomfortable looking chairs. He was a mess. He was still wearing his Dharma jumpsuit covered in dry mud and blood- his pant leg dangled loosely off of his knee. Juliet was beginning to feel bad for having asked him to stay. She actually felt pretty good. Her muscles still ached but her head had stopped pounding and she was warm again. She could hear Bill snoring gently through the curtain that separated their beds.

Juliet quietly slid her feet to the floor, tested her balance then padded over to use the bathroom. She adjusted her gown more snugly and was able to wash a bit of the blood and dirt away. She was a little dizzy but that was to be expected. Her wrists were both missing a layer of skin and felt burnt as she ran cool water over them. She checked her reflection in a clinical manner. She had a light bruise along her jaw and a tiny cut where she must have bit her own lip. As she pushed her fingers back through her hair and she could feel a tender knot on her head. She picked up a few tendrils and tied part of her hair back out of her face as she usually did- She stared at the all too obvious large white bandage covering part of her neck. She could see hints of bruising there but decided not to take it off yet.

_Memories of Edmund flooded her mind._

_"Jules, can I see you in my office for a moment?"_

_"Can it wait?" She attempted stoically from her computer, not making eye contact._

_"Jules? Now."_

_She flinched, sending a twinge of pain through her shoulder as she uncomfortably rose to follow him. They entered his office where he had drawn the blinds to give them privacy. Juliet stood just inside the doorway._

_"Please, sit." He said as he circled around her to close the door._

_"No." She replied quietly in an attempt to sound in control. Edmund flashed a small smile as he noticed her nervously tug at the cuff of her blouse. He was her height, but in her heels, Juliet seemed taller._

_"Look, about last night..." He started as he came back around to stand in front of her._

_" You're my wife but you're insufferable sometimes. I wasn't trying to hurt you. You can be a beautiful woman when you want to be, Juliet"_

_She closed her eyes as his fingers reached up to her face and caressed her cheek. He stepped closer squinting as he noticed the tender bruise that had formed along her neck near her collarbone. Juliet's eyes began to pool as she stared over his shoulder. He put his arms out to her and offered a hug as if to prove that last night had been a mistake. Juliet's skin crawled, she felt like she might actually be sick. She stepped back. She couldn't do it anymore. She hadn't done anything to provoke him last night, except exist._

She dragged her fingers lightly over the bandage and was instantly upset by not remembering how she'd gotten it. She flexed her hands and took a deep breath before flipping the light off and coming back out- She quickly peeked over on Bill. He was shirtless and his ribs were wrapped. Just as Juliet had suspected. When she turned back to her own bed. Sawyer was sitting upright with his head tipped, watching her with interest.

"Morning." He said as he arched his back and stretched.

Juliet was frozen in her tracks. She was fidgeting as she gave him a tender blink.

"Hey~" she replied

Sawyer tested his feet on the ground then grimaced a bit looking as though he was going to stand up.

Juliet arched a brow then shook her head, "Don't" She took 2 long strides over to where he was and knelt down as he watched her peel his pant leg away from his calf. She eyed both sides of his bandage touching with feather light fingers and looked up at him.

"You should probably put ice on it." She said matter of factly.

"Is that so?" he replied pulling her off the floor to set her on his good leg.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and she nodded and tipped her head down pressing her lips to the top of his head, wrapping an arm around him. Juliet sighed as he gently stroked her back.

"Hey you two- get a room." Miles said as he poked his head around the partition with a deadpanned expression.

Juliet and Sawyer looked over and they both smiled- Miles smiled back.

"Brought you something" he continued as he moved into view fully.

"Doc said you could be released after 10- and... it's almost 10- so... Here ya go. He held up a bag

"Clothes" He said with a wink.

"Don't worry- Amy picked em out, I'm just the delivery man."

Juliet stood up and walked over and took the bag from him.

"Thank you, Miles." she said sweetly as she moved back to the bathroom and disappeared.

...

Sawyer had closed his eyes and draped an arm over Juliet as she rested against his chest. He breathed deeply as he felt her body release into sleep. He felt someone watching them and when he opened his eyes- Horace had come back but when he looked in he just gave a small smile and nod silently saying: "It can wait"

Sawyer blinked his eyes and gave him a long nod in appreciation before Horace ducked out once again.

He lay there - his mind still replaying what Richard had said. Who all exactly did have the codes? It was a security issue that he would address with Horace and Stuart as soon as possible. He needed to find out if "the hostiles" had a mole- his gut told him that they did. It bothered him that Juliet couldn't remember what had happened but he really hadn't been willing to push her on it right now. She was clearly upset by not-knowing already.

Bill had woken up and had a quiet conversation with the nurse behind the curtain next to him - Sawyer couldn't help but strain to listen in. He had a feeling the guy knew more than he was letting on even if he didn't know it. As it turned out, he also received a concussion so Sawyer was able to find out at least a little bit about what Juliet was feeling.

" _You bruised 2 ribs, and you have a grade II concussion. You should be expected to have brief periods of disorientation or amnesia- which explains why you can't recall the event just before your fall_."

_"Is that permanent?"_

" _Not usually, some people take longer than others. You were pretty lucky- some people develop a post concussive syndrome-and have a much longer recovery- waves of symptoms, sleep disturbances, emotional lability, dizziness- It's a mess really."_

_"Is that what happened to Juliet? "I heard them say she was a grade IV or V_?

" _Time will tell- as I said, everyone is different-you get some sleep- I'm sure you will be cleared to go home by this afternoon- if you promise to stay out from underneath any vehicles for awhile."_

Sawyer nodded off uneasily after the nurse left. He felt like black smoke was clouding his mind. He hoped he was being figurative.

...

Juliet returned from the bathroom dressed in jeans and a purple shirt. She poured a cup of water for herself and one for James then sat on the edge of her bed- one leg tucked under. Sawyer smiled at the familiarity. Miles had disappeared and returned with Jin and a pair of crutches.

"Alright - honeymoon is over. Let's blow this Popsicle stand."

Jin passed the crutches to Sawyer and reached out to help Juliet up- pulling her into a hug. She smiled and whispered a "Thank you" to him as they separated.

All the noise and chatter had woken Bill and as the foursome passed his curtain he called out.

"Hey."

Juliet politely drew the curtain back.

"Jin... Thank you for hauling me in. I guess I was really out of it huh?"

"No problem, Bill. I am happy you are .. o.k." Jin nodded as he followed Miles.

He looked at Sawyer who was giving him no expression at all, his hand resting gently on the small of Juliet's back.

"I'm sorry- I shot you." Bill said looking away briefly.

Sawyer sighed and gave him a nod. "It happens"

"And you." He said to Juliet shaking his head with a smile. "Really glad to have you back"

She blinked in embarrassment at his tone then smiled and nodded "Yeh... You too."

As they made their way out the front of the medical station-the sun was shining.

Miles held the door.

"No more rain." Jin said with a smile as they turned towards home.

...

They crossed the courtyard, Miles and Jin split off- headed for the guys house. While Sawyer stuck with Juliet- fumbling more slowly with his new crutches.

"You good?" Juliet asked with concern.

"These seem short to you?" He said questioning the structural integrity of his wooden walking aids.

Juliet let out a small laugh as she looked over- out of the corner of her eye she caught sight of Jesse jogging towards them. A record tucked under his arm.

"Hey! Juliet~ I guess I m..missed a hell of a n..night" He said handing her his favorite "The Who" album.

"You can bring it back to m..me when you come back to w..work." He blushed.

"Thank you Jesse. That's very sweet of you... How's your ankle?" Sawyer looked at Juliet with suspicion knowing that she just witnessed him jog over.

"Huh?" he replied- honestly confused.

"Nothing. Forget it. I'll see you in a few days ok?" Juliet replied quickly smiling- holding up the album, tipping her chin in thanks.

"Yeh.. Okay... Looks like I'll be getting in some groovy overtime while you two are out. M..maybe even a n..new recruit. Gunna head back."

Juliet nodded.

"Later Twitchy" Sawyer said still eyeing Juliet who was lost in thought all of the sudden.

"Cool beans L..later Mr. LaFleur!" he said giving a small salute as he turned and walked off back towards the Motor Pool.

Juliet felt Sawyer staring at her as they moved to her house.

"Hey, What was that all about?" He asked putting an arm out to stop her. Juliet looked over at him struggling on his crutches and considered not telling him. When her eyes met his she couldn't lie.

"I... stayed late last night...because Mack..." Juliet shook her head, pausing then letting out a sigh.

"James...He said Jesse twisted his ankle..."

Sawyer stopped walking, nostrils beginning to flare, Juliet was looking at him with a hurt expression.

"You okay if I leave for a short while?" Sawyer said with a dead serious expression.

Juliet's closed her eyes. She was not going to let herself cry.

"Lock your door. I'll send Jin over. I promise, I wont be long." He turned to go- then turned back.

"I got this."

Juliet stared at him intensely then nodded as she moved to her front door.

"I got this" he said once more before he started off- with an angry determination towards the guys house.


	14. Chapter 14

 

 

 

 

 

 

Juliet walked in to her house and set the record down on the side table- She moved in slow motion, in shock over realizing the truth. It was so quiet. She turned to push the front door closed, as her fingers touched the door frame her pulse quickened.

_Juliet felt two heavy hands yank her up- pulling her back into the darkness._

_"Shhh"_

Juliet's body pitched and she grabbed the door for support, forcing a breath out of her open mouth. She stared out at the courtyard as she swallowed the memory then stepped back outside and pulled the door closed. Juliet glanced over to the guys house briefly before she focused her long stride- straight towards the Motor Pool.

...

The garage doors were open as Juliet stormed in. There was a new person leaning on the counter.

"Heyo-, can I help you?" He said innocently.

"Where's Mack!?" Juliet questioned, nostrils flaring, face flushed.

"Uh... Jesse?" The guy said clearly a little frightened by Juliet's demeanor. He moved over sideways and tapped a set of bent knees under a nearby jeep.

Jesse rolled out. "Juliet? What's wrong?" He said quickly getting to his feet and wiping his greasy hands on his pants.

Juliet swallowed, rocking on her heels, trying not to shake. "Mack. Where is he?" She demanded.

Jesse's eyes grew large by her use of tone- it was a Juliet he had not seen before.

"I haven't seen him in two days. He gave me yesterday off and Stuart brought this guy first thing this mm...morning. What's going on?"

Juliet pursed her mouth and angled her eyebrows in confusion, glancing at the new guy- not sure what to do.

"There was no fleet inspection was there?" She said blankly, her face blanching. Jesse shook his head apologetically, still confused. _"no"_

"M..maybe you should sit down. Y..you don't look too good." Jesse continued as he reached out to her, afraid she might faint.

Juliet stepped back quickly, gave a nod and let out a half cry- half laugh put her hands on her hips. Bending to look at her shoes- looking like she felt stupid. She softened her voice.

"I'm sorry. Jesse, I'm fine. I need... to go." Juliet turned slowly and started back to the main lawn.

Her body was tingling as she mechanically turned away from her house and picked up pace- before she knew it she was yanking the door open to the medical station.

...

Juliet walked over and pulled Bill's curtain back roughly. He was sitting up with his back to her trying to pull a button up shirt on.

"Did you know? Did you know this would happen? " Juliet said, angry- her arms crossed defensively while keeping a good amount of distance between them.

Bill stood up and turned to her with a look of shock

"Did I know what would happen? Do you remember something?" he questioned.

Her breath was trembling as her eyes searched his for some sort of truth.

"What did you tell him?!" She continued accusingly.

"Did you _help_?" she said steadying her voice, a hurt expression flashing across her face.

He shook his head. "Tell who?"

Juliet let a harsh breath out her mouth. shutting her eyes for a moment.

"Juliet?"

"Right! No one knows anything." She said sarcastically nodding as she turned to go.

Bill moved around to her in haste- grabbing on to her elbow as she reached the door.

"You need to step back... " Juliet said taking an uneven breath, not willing to make eye contact. She had one hand already pressed flatly on the door.

"I didn't tell anyone anything Juliet- I meant it when I said I don't want you to get hurt. I need you... I need you to believe that." He was serious. Moving in, hovering just inches from her face, his grip solid.

Bill's personality was becoming such a gray area to her. She didn't trust him-but for some reason she did believe him. She still had no idea why he was with Sawyer when she woke up in the jungle. There were so many questions and no one was talking.

Juliet was still looking at the door as she attempted to pull away, her energy was officially drained. Bill held on and slipped his free hand under her jaw. She shut her eyes and didn't raise her chin.

"Don't" She whispered.

Bill sighed and released her and she pushed the door open, still refusing to look at him. Leaving him standing there, a unsure frown settling on his face.

...

_"Step back... Please" Juliet said carefully_

_She swallowed hard as she continued "I'm... going to stay with Rachel... for awhile. She needs me."_

_Edmund's eyes narrowed "No, I need you, Jules. It upsets me that you don't understand that... I need you"._

_Juliet's eyes met his silently, unwavering. He brought his fingers up to pinch the bridge of his nose as he turned to face a window harshly swiping a stack of files from his desk to the floor._

_"I don't think I have to remind you who you are. Without me- you will have noth-ing. It would be in your best interest not to mention our personal affairs. I can make things very difficult for you, Juliet." He turned back to read her reaction. She was staring at the floor._

_"You don't look well, you should probably take the rest of the day off." he coldly ended the conversation._

...

She couldn't be who she was. She felt caught in a space between her old self and her present self. The only person left to go to was Horace. Juliet turned the corner of the building and began slowly walking towards the security building wondering as this point what she was even trying to accomplish. She was lost in her own mind when she heard a familiar female voice call to her.

"Juliet, wait!"

Juliet turned, forcing a fake smile- quickly wiping her nose with the back of her hand as Amy caught up to her.

"Hey~ Amy" Juliet said sweetly.

Amy's face was concerned and sympathetic as she got her first glimpse of Juliet since she had been returned.

"Can I talk to you?" Amy said gesturing back toward her house.

Juliet blinked thoughtfully- in appreciation at her friend.

"Of course- I'll stop by in a bit-if that's okay? I need to talk to Horace about... last night." Juliet said awkwardly.

"Actually- Juliet, that's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about." Amy said in seriousness.

Juliet looked at Amy with slight confusion, then nodded. For some reason at that moment Amy reminded her of Rachel.

"Yeh, alright."

...

Sawyer fought with the screen door, tossing one crutch onto the porch swing in frustration.

_Of course! The "big" figure on the camera footage. It had to be him. Why the hell hadn't put the pieces together sooner?_

Miles pressed the door open calmly from the inside.

"Need some help?"

"Yeh- Gimme the phone."

Miles arched an eyebrow at Sawyer then looked back at Jin who was standing in the kitchen pouring himself an orange juice. Miles backed up and gestured for him to have a seat.

"We should talk. We didn't wanna say anything in front of Juliet- ya know- In case she freaked out or something..."

Sawyer's eyebrows furrowed and he tipped his head curiously, using his crutch to hop over into the armchair near the window.

"I ain't got time to "talk" sweetheart. I need a damn phone so I can call Horace- I know who it was, we gotta..." He said through squinted eyes.

Miles sighed.

"Yeh, we know. They picked Mack up last night. While you and Juliet were in the medical station- Horace did checks on everyone who had access to the fence codes. We told em what Bill said about the Motor Pool doing a lot off coming and going..."

Sawyer growled. "Why the hell didn't anyone tell me?"

"You kinda had yer hands full- What with a hole in your leg and all. It's not like you could have helped anyways. By the time they got to his place- he had already a bag packed. He was just sitting there waiting for the sub to come in. Pretty sure he didn't expect anyone would have gotten Juliet back before he was gone.

"He still here?" Sawyer said angrily as he stood up then groaned in pain- before dropping back down. He pulled his pant leg up and could see that it had swollen. Juliet was right again.

"They are putting him on the sub soon" Jin piped in- taking notice of Sawyer's leg and moving to the freezer.

"Well, don't just stand there- help me!"

"I don't think it's a good idea."

"I don't care what you think Ghengis, I want answers!" Sawyer spat.

"Horace said he will tell you whatever you want to know after Mack is gone. He said there was no need to worry about accomplices at this point."

"You believe that?" Sawyer said looking between Miles and Jin. His demeanor anxious.

"I don't see another choice, Sawyer- I'm sorry, I agree with Miles" Jin said.

"Jerry told me that as soon as Stuart got his hands on Mack - he was blubbering like an over sized school girl. Oh, and get this... He says he was paid by some British guy. Called him himself "Charles"."

Miles continued as he looked at Sawyer wide eyed and nodding his head expecting Sawyer to _"get it?"_

Sawyer shook his head _"?"_

"Widmore? Charles Widmore!?" Miles continued as Sawyer shrugged at him.

"S'that suppose to mean something to me"

"He's the reason my group came here? One of _them_. The reason I'm even on this island? Pay attention!"

"Alright, fine... Still doesn't explain what he'd want with Juliet." Sawyer said rubbing his scruff as he set his leg up on the side arm of the chair.

Sawyer ran his fingers back through his hair. Sighing heavily at the thought he addressed the guys

"I'll talk to Juliet. Someone has to let her know."

Jin tossed a frozen bag of peas at Sawyer and gestured to his leg before turning back to the kitchen to close the freezer .

"Uh, Sawyer? I think she knows." Jin said evenly as his eyes drifted out the window.

Sawyer reached for the curtain and held it back to see what Jin was looking at. Scooting up to a leaning position against the chair arm.

Sure enough, there was Amy and Juliet. They were sitting on Amy's steps. Juliet's head was down, her blond hair tucked neatly behind her shoulders. She was staring at the ground, her outstretched arms crossed at the wrist, resting on her knees. She was listening attentively and nodding as Amy was talking to her.

"Sonofa-" he whispered as Miles moved in to get a look.

A few more minutes went by before the two of them stood. Juliet wiped her face and laughed to herself sadly as she took a step down away from Amy. Her fingers dancing nervously about her neck. Amy instantly reached out and embraced Juliet in a soothing manner. Juliet's shoulders began to jerk, she was clearly sobbing now as she awkwardly hugged the petite woman.

Sawyer closed his eyes. His heart clenched at the sight of her so broken down. He'd thank Amy later-knowing there was no way he could compare right now.

They separated as Juliet's glassy eyes glanced up at the guys house. Sawyer let the curtain drop quickly and gave Miles a panicked look. _Did she see us?_

Miles shrugged.

Sawyer peeked back out just in time to see Amy's screen door close as they moved inside.

............

The sub departed, taking Mack with it. Sawyer didn't get his chance to confront him but really he didn't want to "talk" anyhow- he wanted to just punch the guy... repeatedly, and everyone knew it so in a strange way he understood why they kept him from it all. Juliet was at Amy's though Amy had called to let them know she was "resting".

Sawyer cleaned up and took a much needed and very uncomfortable shower with his wounded leg hanging out of the bathtub. The swelling had gone down and as he wrapped a new bandage around it -Sawyer swore it already looked and even felt five times better. He tried to recall when he was shot on the raft- Once he woke up, he was pretty sure he had been back on his feet the next day.

_"Guess we'll just let the island do the rest."_

Horace had already stopped by to smooth things over and in turn Sawyer volunteered Miles and Jin to shuttle new recruits around the barracks, introducing them to their new job details and housing assignments. Normally, Phil and Jerry handled the new recruits but they had been busy trying to tie up the loose ends over the security issues, Mack and damages at the rec center. The last thing any of them needed was more animosity with the Dharma Initiative so the guys services were offered as up as a sort of peace offering. Sawyer flashed a charming smile as Horace left-Miles agreed reluctantly but Jin seemed content to have something to occupy his time. Yes, Sawyer definitely knew he had a talent with getting his way- everything was working out after all.

The guys were gone all afternoon and Juliet hadn't left Amy's. Sawyer stared at the book in his hand as he tried to calm his mind. He nodded off uneasily a few times but was jolted back awake by the memory of flashing rushing sound of the smoke monster swirling around them- Juliet, the smoke monster, Richard, Bill... Sawyer wasn't quite sure how to process all the events that had happened. His eyes shifted to the window and he caught sight of Juliet crossing the lawn towards his house. He released a sigh of relief. Juliet had stayed away all day and he was honestly scared to think what was going through her mind. He briefly considered that she might try and get on the sub herself and get the hell away from this place and he couldn't even say he would've blamed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't normally do notes: but I found an awesome tribute on youtube. if you get a chance- it's so perfectly put together. "LOST Juliet Burke- Human" (It's edited by June C. to a song by Christina Perri) K that's all. If you wonder what I was thinking about when I put this chapter up. There it is.


	15. Chapter 15

He watched her come up the steps, then he quickly set his book aside. 

Sawyer tested his leg as he grabbed one crutch. He was able to bear more weight now and  he limped to the door opening it just as Juliet was about to knock. 

Usually Juliet just walked in but if the main door was closed, she would knock. She held the screen door open with the side of her body but as she reached over- the door opened half way. Juliet looked up, mildly surprised. She blinked gently and glanced down noticing that Sawyer was on two feet then gave him that soft smile that drove him crazy.

"Hi" She said in that honey sweet voice

"Hi yerself Missed ya today." He replied.

Neither of them moved for a minute.  Sawyer was watching her and she let her eyes drift down to the aluminum foil in her hands waiting for him to invite her in.

"Somethin' smells~good" He said gesturing with a nod to the baking dish in Juliet's grasp.

"Amy." Juliet turned back towards Amy's house briefly. 

"It's lasagna. She made it this afternoon, figured no one would be in the mood to cook." 

 

The sun was setting and the light hit her hair creating a golden like glow. Sawyer swallowed. The sight of her made his stomach flip flop. His eyes settled on hers. She looked tired. Sad. 

Sawyer didn't know where to start. He wanted to take her in his arms. Talk to her about Mack. The jungle. Widmore. Apologize for not coming over. Tell her everything. Instead he stood there holding the door half open for balance, staring at her with an awkward, serious expression.

Juliet glanced past him for a moment a bit confused by his behavior then continued after realizing he wasn't going to step aside or ask her to come in. She lifted the dish up handing it to him-with a tiny fake smile.

"...There's instructions on the note, to reheat it. So- here"   She rocked back on her heels nervously for a second as Sawyer's face changed to confusion. He automatically reached out took the dish and as soon as he did- Juliet took a long step backwards, half turning then turning back as Sawyer opened the door wider his mouth dropped open - but formed no sound. 

"I'm gunna go. So-Tell the guys I'll see them tomorrow. I'm pretty tired." Juliet said gesturing to her house as she turned, dragging one hand down the railing as she left. She was walking so fast that Sawyer hadn't realized what had happened until she was too far away to stop her. 

 _"Sonofbish"_ He thought to himself as he half hopped out the door- just in time to see her disappear behind hers. _"You idiot!"_ He sighed heavily as he looked down at the dish in his hand. 

_......._

 

Juliet closed her front door and turned to lean on it. _"You idiot!"_.  Her chest was tight. She released a breath she hadn't realize she had been holding. 

Her phone rang- jolting her head up in surprise. Juliet quickly  moved to answer it- she smoothed her palms down her hips and cleared her throat. 

"Hello?"

_"Juliet? Oh, good you're home. Can we talk? "_

She recognized the voice on the other end of the line as Bill's.

"It's not really a great time, Bill. It's been a long day... I'm..."

_"I'm sorry, alright? About this morning. It's just... You need someone to talk to... that's on your side and I want you to know... I am."_

Juliet shook her head with a sigh..

"You need to stop. I - can't - be - who you want me to be. I'm not..."

_"You already are-okay? but- that's not why I'm calling."_

Juliet closed her eyes at his words interrupted her thoughts.  He was definitely persistent, she thought, as he continued. 

_"I had this crazy dream. Well, I think it was a dream but,  it - I remember seeing this like.. black smoke?" You were there. You and LaFleur."_

Juliet blew a breath out of her mouth as she listened. That was one of the few moments of the previous night she had remembered. 

_"Juliet? You there?"_

"Yeh... Did you tell anyone else? Stuart?"

_"No.  It wasn't a dream was it? What the hell was that thing?"_

"I... don't know."

_"But... you've seen it before?"_

"All I know is that it's dangerous and unpredictable."

_"Why didn't it kill us?"_

A loud knock on the door made Juliet jump. She moved to the window to look out the open curtains taking the phone and cord with her as she leaned to see who was there. 

 _"You okay?"_ Bill said- he'd obviously heard her breath skip. 

It was James. She rested her head briefly on the glass giving him a tired deadpanned expression. He was looking at her sheepishly- like a lost puppy.

"Yeh, I need to go- I will talk to you later. I'm sorry, I know it's frustrating." 

_"Wait."_

But she didn't.. The knock came again along with James's voice.

"Juliet? C'mon. Please."

She opened the door stoically. 

"Can I come in?" He said in a husky soft tone that made a knot in her throat. It had turned into night and he was leaning gently on one crutch.

Juliet stepped aside.

"Your leg. It's healing quickly. " She said watching him as he moved in and she moved to return the phone to it's home.

"Wuh? Yeh."The island" - Even faster than the last time I got shot." He said rolling his eyes-as he took a seat on the couch, setting his crutch against the wall.

Juliet arched an eyebrow at him questioningly.

"On the raft when... Walt was taken." He said carefully. Juliet nodded in recognition-her mind replaying in flashes her time with Walt and "Room 23".

"Can I see it?" She said evenly- moving back to him with a genuine interest in his progress. He dropped his eyes as he leaned forward and rolled the edge of his jeans up to his knee. Eyeing her reaction as she knelt in front of him on the floor.

"It's pretty remarkable really." Juliet said as her long fingers gently unwrapped his bandage and lightly traced the receding bruises. Sawyer closed his eyes at her touch. 

"You'll probably need the bandage tomorrow-but it might be actually be closed up completely in a few days at this rate." 

"Yeh, it's just great! An all inclusive island perk, they should add it to the brochure." he smirked. 

Juliet let out a light huff of amusement as her eyes lifted to his.

Sawyer found himself suddenly drawn to her injuries as well but was disappointed to notice they seemed unchanged. The bruising looked the same if not slightly more colorful than it had that morning. 

Her smile faded as he reached out and touched her face. 

"You okay?" He said in a serious tone.

"Truth?" she replied.

"Yeh-truth."

"I don't know. I'm... trying to be. It's strange. It's like I'm on this edge, I just can't see it. Sometimes I feel like I'm slipping off, other times- I'm fine." She said sliding back to her feet. 

Sawyer's eyes followed her up. He grasped her fingers and interlaced them with his own. 

"Hey-I'm..." Sawyer started to apologize when Juliet stepped into the space between his legs.

"James..." She sighed shaking her head _"you don't need to"_ as she kept their hands locked and leaned over to press her lips to his hair.

Sawyer released a thankful sigh. Everything just felt right around her. She pacified his nerves with little more than a touch. His free hand moved to pull her waist closer as she gently dropped down beside him.

They sat there in comfortable silence, Sawyer leaned back and Juliet rested on his shoulder, pulling her legs up to the side. Sawyer moved an arm around her.

After awhile Juliet looked over and smiled sweetly at him then stood up and moved to retrieve a can of Dharma beer from the fridge. Holding it up questioningly. Sawyer's eyes followed her and he cleared his throat when she caught him clearly checking her out. His dimples deepened as he nodded at her idea. She started the tea kettle for herself-remembering that the nurse told her no alcohol tonight.  She walked his drink to him, then returned to the kitchen to wait for her tea. As she stood there leaning her back against the counter top  Juliet softly started describing her day. There were no tears, just simple facts and order of events. She was a bit numb over it all to be honest. Juliet told him that Amy explained how Horace had tossed them in a cell and about her and Bill's role in the events. How they had picked up Mack and that he had been shipped off island. She said that she felt like a fool when she confronted Jesse. She was level headed but Sawyer noticed her thoughts were scattered like she was having trouble concentrating.

She moved back to his side with her drink cupped warmly in her hands. As she sat down- she furrowed her eyebrows staring at the floor- realizing that she was leaving out the details about Bill. Her stomach pitched but in her mind none of it was useful  information. At this point, she'd already left out a lot about Bill's feelings towards her and for anyone to really "get" what Juliet felt meant she would probably have to share everything. She wasn't ready for that. James already didn't like the guy. Juliet brought her fingers up to the tender knot on her head. She was getting a headache just thinking about it.

Sawyer waited a moment until he saw her lose her train of thought then he took over and replayed his side of the story- from the propane bomb at the rec center through to Richard returning her.  He was attentive to her reactions but she didn't acknowledge any of it as a participant. It was like he was telling her about something that happened to someone else. His arm tightened when he talked about his frustration and the images that went through his mind. Juliet took his hand and rested it on her cheek and he relaxed again. He was definitely getting better with his temper, at least whenever Juliet was around.

They were both at a loss for words over the black smoke- maybe because both of them had seen it before. Juliet remembered it from her night handcuffed to Kate, it had chased them but never engulfed them.  Sawyer had seen it kill a man when Ben released it on Martin Keamy and his team. Sawyer's eyes darkened as he remembered that it had been inside the barracks.- He didn't mention it to Juliet but he did make a mental note to check into the location and see if the tunnel under that house was already in existence. 

When they were both finished talking Juliet got up and casually walked to the phone to call and check in with Miles and Jin. She was kind and loving as he listened to her side of the conversation. They had clearly been thankful for the leftovers after their long day. She told them he was there-then her eyes darted up to meet his as she paused in uncertainty. Sawyer gave her a questioning look and she replied with an honest "I hadn't thought about it." answer. She said her goodbyes and hung up the phone and stared out the kitchen window briefly. 

"What?" Sawyer piped in pulling her gaze back to him.

"Miles asked if I wanted to spend the night at your guys house or if you were staying here." Her eyes said quietly searching Sawyer's 

"Oh... I see. He has a point. I mean, Doc said... someone's suppose to keep an eye on you right? " 

Juliet clearly hadn't thought that far ahead and now that she was faced with it, she didn't have much choice. 

"You okay?" Sawyer asked shifting to reach his crutch.

"Yeh, I'd be better if everyone stopped asking me that." Juliet replied.

"Do you want me to stay?" He asked evenly.

Juliet gave a nod. _"yeh."_  

"It's getting late anyhow-  I'll go get you a blanket." Juliet said as she slowly made her way to her room.

Sawyer beamed brightly. "Well, Alright." he replied. leaning his crutch back to the wall. 

.........

 

_The whirling, screaming, dark cloud was circling around them. He couldn't see. He couldn't breathe, it was like he was being smothered. He could feel her curled up form shaking beneath him. There were bright flashes- inside those flashes it was like his memories were being pulled out and thrown back at him. It was happening so fast. Like fast forwarding through the movie of his life and only hitting the best and worst moments._

_"Open this door!" It was his father._

_"This is really important. Get under this bed. Don't come out! Don't make a sound, no matter what happens, don't come out, okay? I love you."_

_He felt of the house shaking as the door broke open._

_The sound of his mother screaming, then the gunshot._

Sawyer yelled out and bolted upright. He looked at the clock- realizing he'd only been asleep for three hours. He was sweating and pushed the blanket off of himself as he sat up. The house was dark. He hadn't had this dream in months. Not since Kate found his letter. His eyes shifted down the hall. He remembered he was at Juliet's and let out a heavy sigh. _1974..._  Sawyer stood up and took a step, his leg ached and he reached for his crutch. He limped down the hall and into the bathroom.  He splashed some water on his face and stared at his reflection trying to clear his mind before wiping his face on a towel.

Juliet's bedroom door was cracked open, he decided he should probably check on her since he was up and that _was_ the reason he was spending the night in the first place.

 

He moved into her room carefully then heard the door and floorboards creak beneath him. Sawyer froze. 

"James?" 

Juliet whispered a slight fear pitched in her voice.

"Yeh, it's me."

She slowly pushed herself up, crossing her legs under the blankets as he moved in to sit next to her. The moonlight was shining through the window - creating a bluish glow on Sawyer's face. He was shirtless but still wearing his jeans from earlier.

"How's yer head?" he asked- dropping a hand onto her knee.

Juliet didn't answer as her eyes drifted over him, she could see something wasn't right.

"You okay?" Juliet continued noticing he was glistening as her hand moved to his arm.

Sawyer blew a breath out of his cheeks.

"I'd be better if people stop asking me that." he said, eyes twinkling as he sent her words back to her.

Juliet looked down with a smile. "Fair enough"

"Yeh. Just a dream, what are you doin' awake? " he continued.

"I heard a noise" she said weakly as her hands moved to tuck her hair behind her ears .

Her eyes met his, he looked like a child. She reached over and did the same to him, brushing a wet strand of hair from his face. 

"Wanna talk about it?" Juliet said in a sweet whisper.

"Naw-Don't even remember what it was now" He lied.

Juliet closed her eyes and tipped her chin up- smiling at him.

"Alright. Back to sleep Blondie." - Sawyer shifted then stood up- allowing the light from the hall into the room

"Juliet?" Sawyer whispered with concern -gesturing to her bandage. It had bled through a bit. Her hand moved up and felt the wetness. 

"Oh." she said as she slipped her legs out of the bed and stood up. She was in a simple tank top and silky shorts. She wavered a bit, moving her hand to grab the crease in her forehead. Sawyer reached over.

"You good?"

"Yeh- just foggy. I'm fine." 

She moved in slow motion into the bathroom, opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out a bottle of peroxide and a new gauze. Squinting at the brightness of the light.

"Need a hand?" He said- watching her peel back the bandage in the reflection of the mirror. 

"I'm sure it's fine. Probably just pulled a stitch while I was sleeping."

It was the first time she had gotten a look at it without the bandage and her fingers froze. Juliet felt clammy and must have gone pale because suddenly Sawyer was holding her arm and guiding her over to sit on the closed toilet seat.

"Hey- let me. "

Juliet sat obediently but started to protest. "Really... James, I can do it. I can handl..."

"Yeh, yeh I know you _can_... and I also know that _you_   make a horrible, adorable patient." He said flashing his dimples.

Juliet huffed at him and pushed her hair out of his way as he poured the liquid on a washcloth and moved to dab it on along her collarbone pausing briefly.

"Promise you won't hit me?" He said jokingly before he pressed the cloth to her flesh, wiping the blood away carefully. Her neck muscles tensed and she closed her eyes letting a pained breath out.

"Oops... Sorry" He whispered sincerely as he picked it up and went back again.

Her hand flew up to grasp his, they locked eyes like she might have remembered something but then she quickly let go and nodded for him to continue. The incision was about 2 inches long and not too deep from what he could tell. It did look like the stitches were intact but it had been seeping. It had purplish green bruising. Sawyer knelt down to his knee to remove pressure from his leg as his eyes darted back to hers to make sure he was being gentle. Now that he was up close in the light he was able to see the injection site on her neck- plus additional bruising on her face. He set the cloth down and picked up the bandage- peeling back the seal. Juliet nodded _"I'm ok"_ as he pressed the new bandage into place. She reached up a felt it. Then nodded.

"Thank you."

"No problem."

He swallowed as he voiced his obvious concern. "So- Any theories on why it is that I'm healing so quickly and you ain't?"

"No. Maybe-If I told you what I thought- you would probably consider having me committed." She said in a serious manner.

"Try me."

"The island, it has... I think it chooses. Who it keeps, who it heals." 

"Yeh yer right. It's too late for us- we're certifiable. If this Dharma gig don't work out we can always head back to the real world and tell 'em everything we know. Maybe~ we'll get ta share a padded room and play checkers on Sundays" Sawyer said using the wall to push himself back up to his feet.

"C'mon. Back to bed, Sleeping Beauty." She took hold of his hand then they parted in the hall. Juliet left her door wide open this time and Sawyer switched his head to the other end of the couch so he could see straight down the hall into her room. 

...........

Sawyer woke up once more during the night to check on Juliet. She looked like an angel in the moonlight. He left his crutch an used the wall so that he was quieter. He stood at the doorway for a moment, smiling as he watched her sleep. He moved in closer and pulled her blanket up to her shoulder before setting himself down beside her on the bed.  

 _"Do you have any idea what you do to me?_ " he whispered sweetly.

She shifted with a sigh-tucking her wrist under her chin. Sawyer reached over and brushed her hair from her face. Her eyes fluttered open.

"Mmm what time is it?"

"Late, early. Just doin' my job- you good?"

  
Juliet groggily nodded then her head lolled back to her pillow. 

Sawyer smiled- his heart was full as he stood up and limped back down the hall to the couch.

 

............

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies-I had a bit of clean up to do. Hang in there with me!


	16. Chapter 16

The next few days were fairly quiet. During the day, Juliet was working with Amy helping the new recruits. Jin and Miles were back to working nights and Sawyer had spent most of his time sitting around reading, partly so he didn't want to make noise when the guys were sleeping during the day and partly because he didn't have anything to do.  Juliet would meet up for dinner with Miles, Jin and him before they left to work, just as she always did and Sawyer would shower and grab a new set of clothes, then head back to Juliet's for the night. 

 It felt like when they had first arrived here. It was almost comfortable. He loved the sarcastic wise ass banter that Juliet dished out when she was in a good mood and he enjoyed her reflective stillness when they'd sit on opposite ends of the couch reading with their feet gently entangled.  She was like a drug. There was no denying that when Sawyer was around Juliet, his anger just melted away. He was addicted. 

He still slept on her couch- he knew he didn't need to be there but she hadn't told him to go-so, he didn't.  He'd also noticed he wasn't the only one having trouble sleeping after the first night. Juliet was doing a lot of tossing and turning as well. Sawyer was beginning to wonder if they weren't suffering some sort of PTSD. Juliet denied her nightmares but he knew how to read her much better than he used to and determined she wasn't a very good liar. She still hadn't remembered what had happened to her, which bothered Sawyer immensely. 

He was still limping mildly-but the holes in his leg had healed closed just as he suspected they would.  Juliet had returned his crutches to the medical station and brought him back a cane- which he was reluctantly using whenever he had to leave the house. He had talked to Horace and was switching back to a day schedule. It meant he'd be working with Phil and Jerry but it also meant he'd be around at night so he was content to deal with the Stooges until a better arrangement was made.

Juliet was also scheduled to start back at the Motor Pool. She had played it off like it was no big deal but he had to admit he was a little concerned. Bill had already gone back, his ribs were healed up within days . _"Thanks Island"_

.........

"There's a welcome barbecue tonight in the main courtyard. Horace thinks it would be a good idea for us to go." Juliet said as she walked in and sat down on a chair to take her shoes off. She looked tired but her bruises had finally dwindled and the only real scar she still carried was the wound near her neck which was usually only when she wore a low neck shirt. 

Sawyer was at the kitchen table. He groaned and set down his copy of "A Tale of Two Cities" abruptly.

"Didja tellem we both start back to work tomorrow and we ain't up for Kumbaya around the campfire?"

Juliet looked up at him apologetically "Not exactly."

"Damnnit! It's bad enough I gotta work with all these yahoos now I gotta pretend to enjoy their company too?"

"It's only for one night James. You'll be okay." She smiled.

"Maybe~ Can use you as an excuse when I wanna go?" he said waggling his eyebrows as he stood up and moved in from the kitchen.

Juliet stood up acknowledging his mood and tipped her head sweetly as she closed the distance between them, grasping the front of his shirt and softly pulling him close. _God he had missed that_. She'd been pretty distant since she was taken and he hadn't wanted to push her.

"There will be free... beer" Juliet crooned.  
"And... we don't have to make dinner." She continued in a sultry whisper as his arms wrapped around her waist. 

"Well then, as long as we don't have to make dinner." Sawyer said squinting at her- dimples twinkling as he leaned in and captured her lips with his.

Her fingers slid up to his jaw and she let out a soft moan. Sawyer immediately responded by pressing his torso into her. Juliet pulled back a bit to look at him giving that slow blink that he loved. He sighed.

"I missed this."

"Me too."

"So what time is this little shindig?" 

"About an hour- Miles and Jin are working tonight- I already talked to them."

"Mmm about an hour." Sawyer purred

"What ever shall we do?" Juliet continued softly 

Sawyer slid his hands up her back and pressing a leg gently between hers before bending to suck on her earlobe.

Juliet gasped lightly, feeling his hot breath along her throat and moved to the buttons of his shirt. She was half way down his chest when there was a knock on the door.

"Nuh uh" Sawyer shook his head as she jerked a bit glancing past him at it. 

"It might be important." Juliet frowned in a breathy whisper.

"It ain't." Sawyer replied holding her to him - Juliet slid her hands around his waist and tugged his hips with a slight grunt - she kissed him again and then slowly turned his back to the couch walking him backwards and pushing him down as he moaned from the feel of her hands sliding up his body. The knock came again.

As soon as he was off his feet, Juliet's heart jumped and she closed her eyes. She let out a ragged breath and gave him a pained look before taking a long step back as spun to answer it. Sawyer dropped his head to back of the couch and let out a frustrated whine.  

Juliet smoothed her clothes and her hair, licked her pink lips, and looked at Sawyer with an apologetic smile.  She turned pulled the door open, flipping her personality right into "Suzy Homemaker". She smiled widely, and laughed delicately though Sawyer knew it wasn't real. He got up when he heard a slightly panicked Amy half whispering to her at the door.

"Hey~Amy. You okay?"

"Yes, no - well,  I need your help." Amy said pleading to Juliet.

"It's Horace."  
"Is he alright?"  
"Yes! He's fine. But... he asked me to the barbecue tonight. On a date."

Juliet squinted her eyes and smiled. "Awe, that's great Amy."

Sawyer sauntered over to open the door wider behind Juliet so that Amy could see him. He looked slightly disheveled since he didn't care if Amy knew she'd interrupted them. Juliet pursed her lips when she looked back at him. His shirt was half undone, his hair scrambled and he was holding a mischievous grin as he stood dangerously close to her. He reached out and traced small circles on Juliet's lower back- he felt her shiver as she tried to hide the fact that he was touching her.

"O Jim. Hi." Amy said as her eyes shifted back and forth between Sawyer and Juliet. Putting the pieces together as to why it took so long for her to come to the door.

"I'm interrupting? I'm so sorry. I'll go- I'm sure it'll be a great night. I'm just being a girl about it."

"No. " Juliet said sympathetically looking back at Sawyer again as her face flushed in embarrassment.

"I'll come help. I want to." Juliet said reaching a hand up behind herself to grasp a hold of Sawyers wrist. he was grinning from ear to ear.

"Just let me grab my shoes."

"Are you sure? It.. I mean. I'd really appreciate another female opinion." 

"It's no problem." She said moving behind the door to grab her shoes. Sawyer licked his lips as he watched her bent form.

Amy was now also blushing in embarrassment as Juliet returned and slipped out the front door.

"Meet you at the party?" She questioned Sawyer coolly.

"Uh huh" Sawyer replied giving Juliet that _"you are trouble"_ look that made her chest tighten.

 

.............

 

Sawyer walked out of the guys house then saw Amy standing on her front step in a flowery sundress watching Horace with a smile.  Horace was setting up the main lawn area for his barbecue. Juliet was no where in sight. Sawyer swaggered over using his cane and stood beside her. Amy looked at him with a bit of surprise.

"Whatcha lookin at Sister? O, the big bossman eh?" He winked at Amy sending pink up through her cheeks.

"Hi Jim. Yes, Horace has been very kind to me... since... He's a good man. I'm... sorry about earlier, I should've just called." She said as she glanced back into her house.

"Ain't nothin' to be sorry about. " Sawyer said plainly as he stared out at the small crowd of new faces that was gathering. _"Namaste hippies, Welcome to hell"_  

" _Look_ at the time. I suppose _I_ should go finish getting ready." Amy said awkwardly.

Just then, Juliet opened Amy's screen door while looking down at her outfit and blurted out.

"Amy, I cannot wear this. I'm a least 5 inches taller than you- look at how short..." She froze at the sight of Sawyer standing there.

Amy beamed proudly and clapped her hands at the sight of Juliet as Sawyer's jaw went slack. Juliet shifted her position in the doorway but all Sawyer could see were her legs. Long silky legs. He swallowed hard.

Juliet rolled her eyes then flushed bright red when his eyes didn't come up to meet hers.

"James." 

Amy nudged him and his attention snapped up. Her hair was straightened  and she was wearing a blue and black paisley patterned dress with a sleeve that was just above her elbow. The fabric scooped down and  hugged her breasts perfectly and a giant belt buckle was secured snugly around her waist. The dress ended loosely at her mid thigh. _Man the 70's knew how to make a woman look like a woman._ Sawyer stood there staring at Juliet with a soft smile plastered on his face. Amy glanced back and forth between the two of them as sexual aura grew. 

"Yeh-Okay, You two... Jim. I'm not entirely done with her so you'll just have to go." Amy said shoo-ing Sawyer off the step lightly. 

"... and you- back inside. You need mascara! " Juliet covered her face in amusement as Amy ushered her back into the house. Sawyer adjusted his attire and moved to main courtyard to help light tiki torches his thought frozen on the sight of his favorite blonde. The sun was setting and the air was humid. He was already trying to come up with good excuses to excuse Juliet and himself.

.............

 

Miles and Jin came out of the house- crossing the lawn  on their way in to the security station. They stopped to chat for a few minutes with some of the new faces they had driven around the barracks over the past few days then they met up with Sawyer making him promise to have someone bring them both a hamburger. 

"Where's Juliet?" Jin questioned once he noticed Sawyer was alone.

"She was..." Sawyer started but stopped as he noticed Juliet and Amy had been stopped coming out of Amy's house by none other than Bill. Sawyers face twitched. They were chatting and laughing politely.

"That guy again?" Miles expressed his irritation for Sawyer.

"Damn. Get a load of Juliet. Sheesh. It's times like this LaFleur. It must be good to be you. So good. Why you? You're an ass.  I'm charming... Look... at her...bod.." 

Sawyer reached over and swatted Miles upside the head. "Knock it off Enos. Where's yer manners?" 

Juliet glanced up and waved a with a smile. Miles and Jin raised a hand in return.  

Sawyer growled. "Casanova might end up finding my foot up his ass before the night is through."

"Maybe~ they _are_ just friends. They do work together you know. Give her a break man." Miles said

Jin looked at Sawyer with concern. Sawyer was beginning to clench and unclench his fists subconsciously.

"Maybe~ they _ain't_ just friends Kimchi, maybe~ women and men can't _be_ just friends. She don't know what he's thinkin' right now- I do. Same as you were thinkin' when you saw her walk out ."

Miles contorted his face into an apologetic grin. "Point taken. " 

Miles shook his head and sighed with a disgruntled expression."Still... you...are one lucky... bastard."

Sawyer's eyes narrowed as he watched Bill watching Juliet watching him. 

Jin nodded at Sawyer "We have to go. Have a nice night Sa..LaFleur" Sawyer nodded at Jin- he still got a kick out of how hard it was for Jin to call him that. 

"Yeh yeh, see you boys tomorrow." He said distractedly.

......

 

Juliet's eyes followed the guys as they left then moved back to James across the lawn and she smoothed her palms over her hips. She gave him a kind of pinched smile as her eyes gestured down her dress to her feet then back to James. She raised an eyebrow at him.. He squinted in confusion and followed her path down to her feet. She was barefoot and he let out a laugh knowing Juliet didn't have any shoes that would go with a dress nor would Amy have a size that would fit her. He gave a little "Oops" shrug before Bill reached over and touched her arm drawing her attention back to his conversation. 

Sawyer was about to go rescue her when Jesse strode up.

"Hey M..Mr. LaFleur. Nice to see you on two feet again. Do you think I could talk Juliet into getting m..my album back a day early? Our new car guy, Kevin, was a DJ off island. Far out right?" He said pointing to a blonde guy with feathered hair and a mustache. He was smoking a cigarette and setting up his turn tables.

"He said he'd play a few of my favorite songs."

People were starting to congregate around the food and drinks now and the smell of barbecue was filling the air. Sawyer sighed.

"Yeh Far out-Shaggy. C'mon. I can get it for ya, "  

He shot an annoyed look towards Bill then he and Jesse made their way to Juliet's. 

........

Juliet watched James cross to her house and pull the key from his pocket. Bill also turned to see what she was looking at, his face turned serious. Juliet flinched back to attention as Amy leaned over. "I'm gunna head over and get a drink. See if Horace needs anything."

"Yeh- Sure, Amy. You look great. Have a good time." Juliet said as she gave a half hug to Amy. Bill was quiet when she looked back at him- he seemed uncomfortable all of the sudden.

"You Okay?" Juliet said politely.

"Uh yep, did I mention you look... "

Juliet shook her head "Overdressed?" she said, trying to interrupt him.

"NO - you're perfect. Please, I'm just used to seeing you in a jumpsuit and... a little covered in grease." Bill said as his eyes shifted over every part of her with a grin.

Juliet nodded once as her eyes met the ground awkwardly. Bill's flattery clearly made her uneasy.

Slowly Bill stepped in front of Juliet, blocking her view of everything except him, he looked at her as his brow furrowed and his eyes turned a steely green. He lowered his voice with a hint of paranoia.

"About our talk the other night. I'm still having these dreams Jules. Well, they _are_  dreams but also they're parts of my memory that are running through my head like an old time movie- does that make sense? It's stupid right?."

Juliet watched him silently with interest one arm crossed in front of her and the other resting an elbow as her finger gently fluttered along her jawline. Her face was gentle, attentive. She didn't know what to say without revealing that she had been having similar sleep issues. And, so had James, for that matter.

"No- it isn't stupid. Dreams are the key to the subconscious. It's actually completely natural after witnessing a traumatic event."

"Yeh but... I feel like the dreams want me to do something- like they are trying to ... I dunno. Never mind. I'm gunna go grab a drink. Thanks for listening- I'll catch ya later." Bill said as he turned to notice LaFleur was back and searching the crowd for Juliet.

He headed towards the "bar" at the far side of the lawn-which consisted of a stack of coolers and a folding table with an umbrella sticking out of it. Glancing back at her once with an apologetic smile.

The corner of Juliet's mouth twitched and she nodded. Her expression was worried. She stood there staring at nothing- the vision of the plume of black smoke charging at them in the jungle came back to her like she'd been pinched.

Juliet felt her body lurch forward as she came out of her head and blinked hard before mechanically moved through the crowd. She blew a breath out her cheeks. _Yeh!~ this should be a great night!_

She headed in to find a place to sit. She actually wasn't even sure it was possible in this dress. Juliet found a few small counter height round tables that had been drug out of the rec center and decided standing was probably her best bet. She really couldn't raise her arms very high without her dress riding up and showing a lot more thigh than she wanted. She shook her head at the thought.  At least her feet wouldn't be hurting, she smiled to herself. 

Amy found her after a few minutes holding 2 glasses of red wine and a giddy expression.

"Horace is grilling but he said he'll be over just as soon as he can."

She slid a drink to Juliet across the table and leaned over as she watched Juliet watching James.

"Jim will be fine. Bill is a nice looking guy- it's natural that he would be jealous- Plus you are turning a lot of heads in this dress! If only I had your legs."

"Please. I feel silly." Juliet commented making note that Amy had also noticed the scowls coming from James.

Juliet rolled her neck and touched her ear gently as she took a sip of her wine. 

"I'm going to request a song. Be back in a few!" Amy said as she disappeared into the crowd again.

..............

Juliet's breath hitched at the idea of trying to make friendly conversation but she was beginning to doubt herself. Maybe James was right. This was a stupid idea. Juliet glanced around casually as she sipped on her drink and she felt a twinge of anxiety. People were standing so close together and laughing. It was like echoes and slow motion for a minute. _It's just one night, Juliet! get a grip._

"Hey Sweetheart, I was wondering where you went." Sawyer said as he walked up drinking a beer-reaching over to stroke Juliet's back.

 Juliet blinked slowly smiling as she looked over to him.

"Hi- where's... your cane?" she asked with concern for his leg.

"Dunno, guess I didn't need it no more" His dimples beamed.

"Mhmm." She said squinting at him

"I don't know if you've noticed Blondie, but every guy here has been watching you and I can't say I blame them." He said moving his hand up to massage her back of her neck.

Juliet tipped her head and closed her eyes at his touch then looked around  and he was right again, most of the men were talking to their dates while watching her. She blushed profusely and lowered her gaze running her finger around the base of her wine glass.

"Also, your Cowboy has been watching us both like a hawk since we arrived. Guessing you didn't tell him about us?" he continued glancing over to the bar where Bill had joined up with a few of his guy friends.

Juliet didn't look- she just took another sip of her wine before refocusing her attention to the middle of the courtyard.

"It's complicated."

"Is it?"

"James." She said warning him.

"I'm just asking cus- the way he looks at you."

"Please. Don't." Her expression screamed _"not now"._

Sawyer swallowed and quickly decided she was right, he was being an ass. He looked over apologetically sighing and rested a hand on hers. He closed his eyes at her as she placed her other hand on his in acceptance.

 

.................

Juliet and Sawyer drank their drinks then two more in relative silence as they people watched-He wasn't sure why he said that about Bill. Sawyer rolled his shoulders and tried to calm down. Juliet was a capable, beautiful intelligent woman. He had to trust that she knew what she was doing. She'd tell him when she was ready.

Couples had begun to dance on the make-shift dance floor in the middle of the lawn. The music had gotten quite loud. Juliet laughed as she watched the smooth moves of the 70s come to life. The DJ was the new face Juliet had met at the Motor Pool. He was wearing giant headphones and flipping through vinyl records like a kid in a candy store.  " _Stuck In The Middle With You_ " By Stealers Wheel was currently blaring and Juliet had to admit she was enjoying the little trip down musical memory lane. Sawyer couldn't help but laugh along with her- her laugh was infectious and her smile lit up the entire place. Life was good. 

Sawyer gestured to his drink and hers then disappeared into the crowd. Juliet raised her glass and nodded that she'd take another.

 Juliet was finishing her drink as Horace made his way over. "Where's Jim? He leave you to the wolves tonight?" Horace chuckled loudly.

"He's grabbing a few more drinks. It's really a lovely turn out, Horace." Juliet said loudly trying to make her voice carry over the noise.

"I'm glad you were feeling well enough to come. Are you ready to get back to work tomorrow? I know you've been missed." he continued.

Juliet's smile faded a bit.

"I think so." she nodded replying honestly.

"Have you seen Amy? She tends to blend in... I mean... not blend in... She's .. short..er" Horace shook his head at himself nervously.

"It's Okay-Horace. I saw her heading over to make a song request a while back." Juliet smiled widely at his genuine crush on Amy as he nodded and started bouncing to the music towards the dance floor.

Sawyer came back over and set down their drinks and put his hand out for Juliet to take.

"This next ones for you. C'mon~Blondie" He nodded pulling her to the dance floor.

Juliet looked at him in amused confusion as he drug her through the outer crowd. The wine had definitely helped her loosen up, she let out a laugh as James snugly pulled her to his body and began slow dancing in the center of the dance floor.

"I don't have any shoes on." Juliet reminded him softly as she draped her arms around his waist. Normally she would reach over his shoulders but she was still very aware that her dress wouldn't allow it. Sawyer tipped his head and grinned, ignored her and pulled his head back so she could see him start singing along.

 _No one knows what it's like_  
_To be the bad man_  
_To be the sad man_  
_Behind blue eyes_

"I'll try not to step on yer toes" He interjected quickly before going back to singing.

Juliet beamed at him as he continued.  
  
_No one knows what it's like_  
_To be hated_  
_To be fated_  
_To telling only lies_

She rested her cheek sweetly in the crook of his neck, her eyes became glassy as she listened to the song and felt his voice through his chest as he sang. She couldn't feel him limping at all. She guessed the alcohol had helped him as well.  
  
_But my dreams_  
_They aren't as empty_  
_As my conscience seems to be_  
  
_I have hours, only lonely_  
_My love is vengeance_  
_That's never free_

He squeezed her then pulled back- this was _his_ song. It fit everything about him so perfectly- he just wanted her to feel it with him. 

 _No one knows what it's like_  
_To feel these feelings_  
_Like I do_  
_And I blame you!_

Sawyer gestured at Juliet. _"you!"_

 _No one bites back as hard_  
_On their anger_  
_None of my pain and woe_  
_Can show through_

Even when the song picked up pace- they stayed there- swaying slowly, locked together in their own little world  for all of Dharmaville to see.

As the song ended they separated. a few people actually clapped but neither James nor Juliet were paying attention.

"Time to go?" Sawyer asked in a husky voice.

She nodded through heavy lids "Absolutely"

Juliet blushed as she felt a lot of eyes on them as Sawyer gently pulled her off the dance floor and they headed across the lawn. Sawyer thought he might have even heard someone "woo" at them but he didn't care. 

 ........

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter could easily stand alone. It's straight up smut. Feel free to indulge or skip it. You are warned.

Sawyer unlocked Juliet's door. He was buzzed, but not drunk, as he turned to watch Juliet glance back at the party before he reached out to touch the small of her back moving her inside. He noticed her eyes were glassy, like that first day he had crawled up the sand just before the flashes started. Her mind was somewhere else but she was smiling faintly as well. Sawyer was well aware that she was also a bit tipsy but she was more relaxed than incapacitated.

He flipped the lamp on then shut the front door. Juliet walked in, turning to watch him-tipping her chin up. His expression made her temperature rise instantly. She blinked calmly and took a deep breath as Sawyer approached her, his eyes dark with lust. He softly took one of Juliet's hands, turning it up to let his fingers trace the pulse at the inside of her wrist. There were faint rings still there and Juliet's chest was rising and falling shakily as she closed her eyes.

"You need me to stay?"  He questioned in a low husky voice. 

"No."

She replied softly her face flushing pink as she watched his caress move up to her forearm. Sawyer tipped his head curiously and Juliet stepped closer to him.

"I _want_ you to stay." She whispered as her eyes shifted to his neck.

James let out the breath of relief he had been holding as he reached for her face gently lifting her chin so she would make eye contact. 

Her crystal blue eyes looked lost and found at the same time as she searched his. He let his thumb slide up her jaw and brush her bottom lip as he leaned in to kiss her. He held her there as his free hand moved to snake through her hair and pull the back of her head to him with slow intent. Juliet forced a breath out of her mouth as she relaxed into him, letting her hands run around his waist and pull him in gently so she could feel the heat of his body. She needed him. She grasped the bottom edge of his shirt and dragged it up. James groaned and pulled back from her mouth to help slide his his torso out of his shirt . He slid it off with ease recapturing her mouth with his once more.

He tasted salty and smooth.  Her arms wound up over his shoulders entwined in his hair then moved to stroke his jaw as he growled into her mouth. She was warm and soft. Sawyers palms slid down tightly over her, gliding over the sides of her breasts. She hesitated to catch her breath at the sensation of his touch then went back in trailing her lips down to the crook of his neck. He hummed lowly as he realized her dress had ridden up and he could feel her thigh as she stepped between his legs.

 _"_ _Jeezus"_

They fumbled in slow motion into the hallway. Sawyer paused to lean against the wall bending down to unlace his boots- his eyes locked on her gorgeous legs. Juliet breathed heavily through her mouth as the corner of her swollen lips quivered. She was watching his muscles flex with a serious wanton expression. She stepped back and unbuckled her belt from around her waist dropping it to the floor. Her eyes lids were weighty with need. Juliet swallowed as her gaze shifted to the front of his jeans. As his second boot thumped to the floor Juliet moved in to release his belt as well- tugging at him with purpose- her eyes glued to his abs, her fingers brushing against his arousal as she unbuckled his belt. 

Sawyer felt a sudden panic rise in his chest. He put his hands on hers.

"You... sure?"

She blinked slowly her eyes flashing up to meet his and then she smiled at him, her face flushed yet unwavering. 

"Yes."

Sawyer's chest released, his dimples once again giving away his thoughts. He paused to admire her beauty while trying to read her. The way she replied was very controlled. He knew he didn't need to ask again.

He shook his head slowly in disbelief that he was in this moment. He actually felt a pang of nervousness as he yanked her in by her hips forcing her to release a whimper as their bodies collided. He turned her and walked her backwards into her bedroom.

"You... are... amazing."

He gasped the words out in between kissing her lips, her chin, everything he could reach. She didn't say anything, she just followed his lead, trusting him, looking up at him in this gentle sexy stare that made his body twitch as her fingers danced and caressed his chest and shoulders, like she didn't know where to start.  Sawyer was suddenly aware that the wall was no longer behind him and he swore his knees were getting weak. When they reached the edge of the bed he moved to undo the button on his jeans.   Juliet helped and pushed the fabric over his hips then rotated her back to him. Sawyer looked at her in confusion until she scooped her blonde hair over her shoulder to the side and revealed the zipper to the back of her dress. She arc'd her neck around looking back as he kicked his pants aside in the dark, freeing his arousal. His breath caught in his throat. The orangish lamp light was shining dimly from down the hall and the bluish moonlight was beaming in through the window highlighting her every curve. Sawyer closed his eyes knowing if he didn't try to think of something else that this moment would be over before it began. 

He unzipped her dress slowly as she bent her head forward and un-tucked her arms from it. Her skin illuminated and Sawyer staggered another breath, licking his lips as her dress dropped to the floor.  He leaned in wrapping a hand around her throat lightly as she tipped her head to the side to allow him access to her neck. She shuddered for a moment- her breath quickening as her hand moved to cover his. His tongue stroked her pulse driving her to let out a moan. Sawyer's other hands slid around her stomach firmly pressing her back into himself so he could feel her skin touching his. 

 _"Good God woman."_ he thought as his hand caressed her silky torso.

Her muscles flexed and released under his touch. His fingers were strong and firm. Juliet reached behind herself to unclasp her bra- letting it slide off her shoulders- then she slowly turned back to James, her eyes taking in the sight of him. He stopped and did the same. She smiled and took a deep breath. He beamed lovingly as he slid his hands up her arms to her shoulders, in along her collarbone and back out. His fingers lingered on her dark scar along one side with a flash of sadness.

She arched an eyebrow at him and he swallowed hard, refocusing and moving in with intent. The smell of her was making him dizzy as he pushed her down to the bed and moved along side her- drawn immediately to her breasts. He took a peaked  nipple into his mouth with a needy growl as he massaged the other, his thumb circling. He stroked her bare waist and rubbed her inner thighs. Juliet arched her back and looked at him pleadingly. She made a throaty whisper that made him pause at look up to her face. Her eyebrows almost furrowed in pain. He understood her urgency. At the same time there was so much of her that he wanted to touch, taste. He moved up to her mouth again as he felt her body tremble. His expression twitched with concern.

"You okay?" He whispered moving her earlobe.

She nodded like that wasn't the reason she was shaking and his dimples deepened. He was intensely hard as he reached down and gently slid her panties off.

"Please."

Juliet huffed, her tone echoing her needy expression as she reached down to grasp him, stroke him. Sawyer pushed out a breath and swiftly moved to stop her. Her eyes met his and she knew he was too close. She relinquished her grip and blinked her eyes at him as she let out a tiny apologetic huffed laugh. She was glad she wasn't the only one.

He squinted competitively at her then moved his body over hers as he slid his hand down and curled two fingers up inside her- rotating his pressure. Her head dropped back and her eyes tightly closed- she blew a heavy breath out of her mouth as Sawyer pulled back out and tipped his head victoriously. She was insanely wet and though he had meant to tease her he instead quickly realized he needed release. The expression on her face alone nearly sent him over the edge.

Juliet opened her eyes gave him a dirty playful look as he shifted his weight over her, hovering just above her. She frowned at his lack of contact and arched her back pressing her breasts up into his chest before reaching up for him and lifting her head to tongue his earlobe. Sawyer felt like he was melting. Juliet bent one of her long legs and Sawyer immediately accepted the invitation, grasping and stroking her thigh as he moved to center himself between her legs. 

Her free hand snaked between them as she rubbed the length of him against her entrance- His breath became ragged, pulling his face away enough to watch hers as he pushed in, feeling her stretch tightly around him.  Her other leg moved to wrap behind his hip, pulling him deeper and locking him in place. Both of their bodies were shaking involuntarily as Sawyer began slowly dragging himself out and letting her hooked leg pull him deliberately back in. Her eyes closed and her hands reached up to grasp his shoulders. She clenched around him as he pumped in and out at a tortuously slow pace. He pushed out a series of short breaths at the feel of her. Sawyer was overstimulated, he rotated his hips in an attempt to refocus but it was too late-Juliet made this beautiful low humming sound and he lost it. His need was too strong. He took hold of her hips tighter and she dropped her leg, relaxing as he took over. She watched him in fascination. He rocked more purposefully and began to thrust deeper forcing her breath out with each push. His mouth dropped to her breast again as his hands lifted her hips and ass angling them just right.  Juliet's head flew back, she sucked in her breath and stuttered it back out as her eyes tightly shut. She felt a sheen of sweat engulf her as a wave of rippled ecstasy to overtook her. She gasped and tucked her chin to her chest as Sawyer's body twitched hard at the sensation and the feel of her heat pulsing around him. He couldn't pull back, she was too much. His hips jerked sporadically then he released and followed her over the edge, his body drained.

He caught himself and hovered over her. Juliet reached up, gently brushing his hair back with the sweetest faint smile on her face.  He bent down kissing her forehead before pulling off of her, dropping down to her side. She sighed at the emptiness and Sawyer turned her to lay facing himself. Closing his eyes gratefully as she moved to rest her head on his arm like it was the most natural thing in the world. . The curve of her hip in the moonlight was  distracting him so he leaned down and drug the sheet up over her. Juliet let out a quiet laugh as Sawyer laid is hand to rest on the curve of her waist, his fingers lightly rubbing her raised scar mark through the sheet. Her eyes stayed on him  for a moment then comfortably fluttered shut.

After a few minutes, Sawyer felt Juliet's body relax into sleep, her chest rising and falling steadily as he opened his eyes to watch. 

He shook his head ever so slightly and reached over tucking her hair back behind her ear. He swallowed hard then whispered in a serious tone that was almost inaudible.

" _I love you._ "

 

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

Sawyer opened his eyes as a gentle morning light filtered into the room. It took him a moment to remember where he was before he rolled over to find Juliet's place next to him empty- there was a note. Sawyer leaned up on an elbow and ran his fingers through his hair then down the scruff of his face. He picked up the note.

_"Morning,_

_Breakfast is in the kitchen._

_See you tonight._

_\- Juliet"_

"Tonight?" His eyes widened as he turned to the clock. 

" _Sonofa-_ " he had 30 minutes to get to work.

He rolled out of bed grabbing his pants off the floor and headed to the bathroom - flipping on the shower. As he stood under the hot spray Sawyer couldn't help but smile stupidly over Juliet.  His heart was fluttering like a teenager. The woman was incredible. His feelings for her were so different from any woman he'd been with in the past, even Kate. Ok. Especially Kate. It just felt _right_. She wasn't a "back up plan" or the "one night stand". She wasn't some con. She wanted him- he needed her. He shook his head and got back on task. washing quickly then turning off the water, the realization also hit him that he hadn't awoken from a nightmare at all last night for the first time since he was shot. Sawyer stepped out of the shower noting that his leg was hardly bothering him at all - he pulled on his jeans, picked up his socks and boots just outside the bathroom door then made his way to the living room to retrieve his shirt. Grinning as his mind replayed the events of the previous night in each location.

The smell of coffee and bacon happily assaulted his senses. He inhaled deeply and moved to the kitchen, grabbing a piece of bacon and pouring a half cup of coffee. He still had to hurry to the back to his house- change into his jumpsuit and get to the station so Jin and Miles could head home to sleep. 

Sawyer checked for his keys and headed to the door-Juliet had left  his cane leaning against it. He must have left it last night when he gave Jesse back his album. He smiled as he moved it aside and  headed off without it. 

.............

 

Sawyer sighed as he opened the door to the security station and sauntered down the stairs. Jin was finishing up his night report and Miles turned in his chair to stare at Sawyer. 

"Mornin' Amigos"

Jin looked up "Morning." 

"Nice night _LaFleur_?" Miles said sarcastic and stone faced. 

"Yeh- it was, thanks fer askin'." knowing they had probably been watching the cameras on the party because that's what he'd have been doing. 

Miles stood up and squinted at Sawyer. 

"You...had sex." He said deadpanned.

Sawyer huffed and felt a surge of embarrassment that he was that readable.

"What? C'mon Enos- it ain't..."  
"I'm takin' your room." Miles continued flatly as he turned to his locker to gather his things.

"Wha? Now wait a minute Napoleon!"

"No way- You've been at Juliet's for what? A week? Jin and I have been sharing a room for months. Months! Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a date with these sleeping arrangements!- I'm taking... your room."

Miles looked to Jin "No offense man."

"No offense taken." He said turning his attention back to Sawyer.

Sawyer gestured to Jin looking for back-up. 

"Miles snores when he is drunk. I agree. It would be the best arrangement for all." Jin stated very matter of fact. 

"Alright, slow down now you two, stop actin' like a couple a jealous ex-girlfriends- Gimme a day to talk to Juliet- I gotta make sure..."

"Pfft. Yeh, whatever, _boss_." Miles said irritably as he made his way up the stairs pushing the door open as Jerry staggered in holding a styrofoam cup of coffee and a hungover expression.

He looked back to watch Miles go as he walked into the main room.

"What's his deal?"

Jerry paused as he looked at LaFleur then grinned, nodding his head approvingly.

"You had sex" He said pointing a knowing finger.

Sawyer sighed heavily, closed his eyes and shook his head. He couldn't do anything but grin in response. It was gunna be a long day.

..........

 

_She felt fingers tighten around her throat- weight pressed against her as she gasped for air._

 

Juliet's eyes flashed open- her body frozen. A chill ran through her as her eyes adjusted to the darkness. She turned to lie on her back pulling her sheet up over her chest as she moved her fingers lightly to her throat.  She glanced over at James sleeping soundly beside her and smiled releasing a sigh as she lolled her head back to the center- staring at the ceiling as she tried to process the feeling that woke her. Juliet checked the clock- it was just before dawn- she wasn't a morning person but today was her first day back to work at the Motor Pool and her mind wasn't about to let her go back to sleep.  She slid upright, careful not to wake James as she got up, gathered a few of her things and silently padded down the hall to the bathroom.  

.............

Juliet's hair was neatly pulled back in a french braid with the tail of it tucked up out of the way. The sun had come up but the air was still sticky. The big door to the garage was already open as she approached. Juliet's brow arched, she could hear Sonny and Cher " _The Beat Goes On"_ playing over the intercom.  Jesse walked out of the office looking back as the new guy, Kevin, followed. 

"That's so awesome m..man" Jesse said as his eyes spotted Juliet.

"Juliet!" Jesse said crossing over in excitement. 

"Kevin, this... is Juliet... " 

Kevin nodded as he pulled his sunglasses down his nose to make eye contact.

"Yeh, I remember you.. Welcome back."

Juliet smiled politely not entirely sure if he had remembered her from last night on the dance floor or that he was referring to her snapping at him over Mack.  

"Thank you - it's nice to be back." Juliet replied as she moved to her locker. Kevin turned back into the office to grab his invoices and Juliet  wrinkled her nose and smiled at Jesse, pointing up.

"New album?" 

Jesse grinned widely stuttering "N-naw- it's his- he has so m. m..many! He's like, the coolest." Juliet let out a chuckle at his overgrown puppy excitement. She was happy that the new guy was fitting in so well. 

The morning passed quickly- Jesse had understandably fallen behind on work orders. His mood was still good though and he was definitely glad to have the team back together to help get things under control. Kevin was helpful- he was still learning but had great potential. Juliet found herself consistently entertained by his personality. He was a self described "cool cat".  He loved to talk about his time in Los Angeles working at nightclubs. He'd met movie stars and gotten high with musicians. He was so very much a 70's stereotype and Jesse just drooled over every bit of information. 

Bill showed up early for his evening shift so that Stuart could hold an impromptu meeting and give the Motor Pool a security heads up- from here on out none of them were allowed to go beyond the fence on parts runs alone.  They were to check in with the security team before leaving and upon returning. No exceptions. No one mentioned a word about Mack. Juliet felt Bill watching her as she stared at the tool counter and listened to the new rules. She glanced at him a few times and each time his features drained. She was sure he was upset over the party last night- Juliet knew he had to have been watching her and James- everyone was. It was undeniably unavoidable as well -and Juliet had decided not to let him bother her. Today was going to be a good day. 

......

Sawyer was grounded to the security building to watch the cameras while Phil and Jerry headed out to do a last round perimeter check. He stared at the monitors and watched people wrap up their day. The courtyard had been cleaned up and as the afternoon dragged into evening the storm clouds rolled in as well. Sawyer kept his eye, as usual on the Motor Pool. Juliet looked beautiful. She spent a lot of the day doing paperwork but he guessed it was to help Jesse catch up. Sawyer knew the kid was a wiz with engines but was also pretty sure he lacked in office skills. Stuart had stopped by and filled them in on the new fence rules and Jesse and Kevin left not long after Stuart.  Bill and Juliet were the only ones there but that was nothing new.  Sawyer groaned at the idea, trying to remind himself that she was fine and could take care of herself.

His memory flashed back to when he and Sayid had followed Juliet to Ethan's hiding spot- where she'd retrieved Claire's medicine. He had full intentions of making her answer his questions no matter what it took when they had arrived but by the time she walked away he remembered just feeling like a child who'd been caught out past curfew. She had not only diffused _his_ anger but managed to unnerve their resident torturer as well.  Sawyer shook his head with a tiny pang of guilt. He couldn't even put into words how glad he was now that things hadn't gotten out of control back then. 

The rain had started coming down and in-turn the cameras became harder to see which was fine because most everyone had moved indoors. Sawyer decided to work on his daily reports while he waited for his shift to end- he glanced over at the shelf and noticed there were still a few of his "research files" loitering there- though the boxes were gone. He squinted and moved to the pile. "Mack Nelson" was on top of the stack, he slid it aside with a sigh "Jesse Parker"... "William Barstowe" . _"Alright Cowboy- what's yer story"?_ Sawyer thought as he dropped back into his chair and flipped the file open.

.........

"Hey Jules?" Bill called to Juliet, who had spent most of the afternoon in the office- filing invoices.

Juliet tipped her head out the door and arched a brow "What's up?"

"Can you close the big door? It's kinda comin' in sideways over here." He said as he turned, gesturing to the rain as he leaned out from under a hood. His hands black with engine grime.

Juliet smiled sympathetically as she reached around the door frame to the button, closing the door.

"Thanks." Bill said smiling as wiped the humidity from his brow and moved back under the hood.

"Sure." Juliet replied before sliding back down to sit at Mack's old desk - she was almost done for the day and she was glad things had gone better than expected, her mind wandered to James and she smiled sweetly. 

"You bout done?" Bill said walking over to lean on the open door. Juliet looked up and fidgeted with her earlobe letting out a sigh. 

"Yeh, think I've had about enough of trying to read Jesse's writing for one day." 

Bill chuckled. "No kidding huh?"

Suddenly there was a loud banging on the side door. Bill jolted, his eyes shooting nervously to the door then back to Juliet. 

"You expecting someone?" He said carefully as he moved to pick up a torque wrench. Juliet's face drained as she stood up, setting her jaw- her expression unreadable as she watched the door.

The two of them slowly stepped out of the office as the door cracked opened and Miles poked his head in calling into the garage with an echo.

"Hellllllo? Anyone home? Juliet?" 

Both Bill and Juliet let out a huge breath at the sight of Miles. Bill lowered his wrench and shook his head, still trying to calm his nerves as he moved back to close the hood of the vehicle he had been working on, while keeping an eye on their visitor.

"Jeezus Miles! What the hell is wrong with you!?"

"What?! O right! You sound like LaFleur.  Yeh, Sorry. It was a lot louder than I thought it would be" he said rapping his knuckles on the metal door again. Juliet's eyebrows angled as she reached up to press her thumb to her temple and touch her forehead. 

"You Have a minute?"

Juliet glanced at the clock and above him and nodded.   
"Of course- What's up?" She said curiously.

"Uhh. In private?" Miles said his eyes darting to Bill.

"Allllright." Juliet said gesturing to the office as Miles crossed the garage and moved in first. 

Juliet followed him in and pulled the windowed door closed behind herself.

"What's this all about Miles? Did something happen?" Juliet questioned.

Miles sighed and rubbed a hand through his wet hair before wiping his palm down his jumpsuit. He stopped as his fingers met the object sticking out of his back pocket. He pulled out a slightly damp book and handed it to Juliet.

"Here. I never got a chance to .. you know? officially apologize- before... I ordered this book for you cus I know you like to read n everything. It came in on the last sub and I just hadn't found a good time to give it to you. Take it." Miles looked at Juliet- his expression serious. 

Juliet pursed her lips as she took the book and flipped it over reading the title with a smile. Miles rocked on his heels then continued. "Seemed like you would like it ya know cus- she's a little scary and you can be a little sc..." Miles stopped as Juliet tipped her head and gave him a half nod silently asking if he was going to say what he was starting to say. He didn't. 

"Thank you. It's very thoughtful of you" Juliet replied

 "Also... Jin and I were wondering, since things with you and Lafleur have kinda evolved... and he's working days now. Maybe you two would want to consider, ya know? Sharing a living space?" 

Juliet could hardly stand it. It took everything she had not to laugh out loud at his awkward approach. Juliet bite her inner lip and had to look away to hide her amusement.

"Oh... I see."  She replied turning back to him with a dead serious expression bordering on mad even. 

"It's just that Locke hasn't come back and well-it would be nice to have a little space... of my own. You know, to sleep in. We can still hang out and do dinner and all that, when we are off... it's just..." He continued.

"Miles? Are you breaking up with us?"

Miles froze. He swallowed, not sure if Juliet was kidding until she tipped her head and smiled sympathetically. 

He let a huge sigh out. "See, scary." 

"Ha ha I'm sorry you just made it so easy. " Juliet said blinking sweetly before addressing him. 

"I understand your concern, and you have a valid argument,  Miles. I'll talk to James tonight okay?" She had such a motherly tone that Miles really couldn't have said more. He nodded.

"Yeah,  Great. Thanks. And... we're good right? I hate to apologize for being an ass then have to apologize for my apology." Miles said as he moved over and opened the door, nodding that he was done before turning back for a last comment.

"It's just that I've been staring at LaFleurs empty room for like a week and... look, If things don't work out with the guy, just say the word. I'll take his place in a heartbeat. " Miles finally let himself smile. 

Juliet let out a laugh and gave him a nod. "Oh, will do Miles.Thank you."

"Right, off to work. See you tomorrow."

Miles ducked out into the rain as Bill's head lifted from his paperwork at the tool counter. He clearly overheard about James having been at her place all week.

"Anyone _not_ part of your fan club?" Bill said looking up at Juliet with a tone that she could only describe as jealousy.

 


	19. Chapter 19

Sawyer stopped by his place to grab a set of clothes before heading over to Juliet's for the night. It was still raining. According to Phil, that's what "season" it was. It was fall in the real world- so far Sawyer had only seen 2 seasons on the island: Hot and rainy. He'd already spent the better part of 6 months here and the only nice thing he had learned was that the ocean breeze tended to keep the mosquitoes away and the nights when it wasn't raining were actually pretty comfortable. Juliet would know, he thought with a twinge of sadness for her. She'd been here the longest. He made a mental note to ask her about the weather then laughed at himself that he probably would feel pretty dumb if that's what their conversation topics had dwindled to and he made a second mental note NOT to ask her about the weather. There were so many other things that he wanted to know.

He was a little nervous for tonight, for one he was stone sober and had been thinking about last night all day and then there was the fact that Miles was clearly on a mission to get his room. He'd also read a bit about "Wild Bill" in his file and wanted to talk to Juliet about it, he wasn't quite sure how to approach the topic without seeming like he was stalking her but it was also just as he suspected- the guy had a bit of a temper, and Sawyer knew better than anyone how much trouble that could be.

It actually amazed him how easy she was to talk to- he found himself telling her everything. I mean, yeh- she knew most of it anyways but for the first time in his life the truth was his first thought. His and Juliet's new level of intimacy was still on full throttle, and he did not want to pull back.  Sawyer didn't even want to consider the possibility of her changing her mind. He ducked into the rain once again and headed over to Juliet's. 

The light inside was on but the door was locked. Sawyer tapped on the door before opening it with his own key. He could hear the water running, Juliet was in the shower. He dropped his clothes on the couch and picked up the book that was lying there, he opened the cover and started reading the preface. It had been years since he'd even seen this book- but he was familiar with the movie versions. "Copyright 1974." He shook his head and set it back on the couch. Sawyer slicked his wet hair back and moved to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and stared at the sparse items inside with a scowl. He flipped to the freezer and realized that Juliet really didn't have anything in the way of food at her place- probably because she was always cooking at theirs. Sawyer looked at the counter, a few breakfast remains were still strewn out and he moved to the sink to start washing dishes. He hadn't had time to do much of anything this morning since he'd been running late. 

 .....

Juliet tucked a towel tightly around herself and twisted another up to dry her hair. She looked in the mirror, frowning at the dark pink line that scarred her.

She moved to open the door and  paused when she heard water running in the kitchen.  James must have let himself in. She quietly exited the bathroom and moved to her bedroom, changing into a simple white t-shirt and jeans before coming out to lean on the wall near the kitchen and watch James- his back was to her. He must have felt her staring because it didn't take him long to look.

Juliet released her towel from her head and stood there drying her hair and smiling at him. Sawyer couldn't think. She had him. He turned off the water and smiled as he dried his hands off. 

"Hi Honey. How was work?" He said sarcastically playing the role of a housewife. Juliet casually walked over to glance out the living room window.

"Still rainin'" Sawyer said informatively before closing his eyes in shame. He wasn't gunna mention the damn weather! 

"Is that so?" Juliet said playing along as she sweetly crinkled her nose.

Sawyer nodded and walked over to her. He closed his eyes and reached out to pull her into his embrace. She leaned up and kissed him gently-her lips floating just out of reach of his.   
Juliet hummed and Sawyer's insides twitched.

He looked at her as her eyes drifted to the open curtains, her face flushed. 

Sawyer beamed at her and waggled his eyebrows at the fact that she was embarrassed over the possibility of someone seeing them.

"It's rain. ain't nothin' out there you should be concerned with. It's me you gotta worry about." he said playfully.

Her eyes dropped to the couch- catching sight of her new book before she scrunched her face and looked at James.

"Uh.. Miles stopped by this afternoon" Juliet whispered- arching an eyebrow.

Sawyer frowned and let out a heavy sigh. 

"Sonofabitch... I didn't... I _told_ him I would talk to you. Damn crybaby was suppose to..." Sawyer huffed in frustration as he pulled away from her.

"It's okay~." she interrupted him, silencing him with a touch.

Sawyer was fuming on the inside, He had been trying all day to come up with a good way to bring up the topic without it seeming like he was being kicked out. Talk about pressure. 

"Well..." He said afraid to look Juliet in eye.

"Whatdaya think? Cus I can tell the lil bastard to go to hell- make him get on a waiting list or somethin'." 

Juliet glanced casually around her sparsely decorated house. Nothing in it really belonged to her minus the small closet of clothes she had accumulated over the past few months. 

"What do _you_ think?" She turned the question back to him blinking in a slow seductive manner that she wasn't even aware she was using.

"I mean, you're the one losing your room. Do you want to stay? With me?"

"No." He replied softly. Juliet's smile faded tightly- a small twitch of disappointment crossing her features.

"I _need_ to stay... With you" he continued, holding on to her waist tightly.

Juliet closed her eyes before letting out a small laugh that he once again was using her words against her. Then she sighed with relief. 

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" She said with a sultry honest smile.

Sawyer's dimples deepened and his eyebrows pushed back in amusement as he let out a laugh of his own.

"I dunno- Usuuuually that line is screamed at me by someone runnin' out the door, not by someone standin' in front of me, askin' me to stay. Kinda makes for a nice change." 

 

Why had he been dreading this moment? She'd just made it so simple. Sawyer actually felt a surge of emotion as his chest got tight. For once- he was speechless.

 

"You okay?" Juliet questioned- a look of concern on her face.

"Never better- well, 'cept one thing... I'm starvin' "

Juliet gave him a pouty face knowing full well that her kitchen was pretty bare. She paused in thought then detached herself from James and moved back to the kitchen taking the towel from around her neck and pushing it over one shoulder.

He watched her move like magic through the fridge then the freezer. Pulling out a few items and dropping them on the counter- looking back at him- she held up two frozen T.V. dinners and two Dharma beers. She turned on the oven and then leaned against the counter triumphantly.

Sawyer laughed and shook his head. He swore that stuff wasn't there 5 minutes ago. He moved to the kitchen and slid his hands under her shirt and around to the small of her back so he could feel her warmth.

"When _this_ beeps? Put _that_ in." Juliet whispered as she gesturing to the aluminum trays.

"Mmmm, you got it, Blondie" Sawyer growled as he leaned in gently kissing her neck as she pulled herself free and headed down the hall.

"Be right back- need to finish drying my hair." she continued shyly walking backwards until she disappeared from sight.

He heard the blow dryer turn on and he sighed as he reached over and cracked open a beer. The dryer stopped for a second before he heard her call out.

"I also have ice cream." 

He dropped his head in amusement as the dryer turned on again.

The oven beeped and Sawyer- slid the TV trays in. He had no idea how long they needed to cook but checked the clock anyways. It was already getting late.

Suddenly, the phone rang.

He was standing right next to it and Juliet didn't hear it over the hair dryer so he picked it up.

"Yeah- this is LaFleur." He announced.

There was a silence on the other end.

"Hello?" He tried again before hearing the click of the line going dead.

He paused with a hint of suspicion then returned the receiver to its home and turned back to pull out utensils.

.........

They ate casually as they both told their "Miles" stories and discussed their first days back to work. Juliet told Sawyer about the "hip" new guy and Stuart's visit. Sawyer mentioned that he'd been stuck flying solo at the cameras most of the day, that it had been boring as hell and that he would be glad when Jin and Miles were back on days with him. He still wasn't sure how to bring up Bill and Juliet didn't mention him at all- though he hardly blamed her after how he'd huffed about the guy at the party the other night. Sawyer pulled the last beer from the fridge the turned to her. 

"Do you miss it?" He said- his tone serious.

"What? The real world? Yeh. I do." She replied honestly.

"Alright, What's the thing you miss the most off island?"

"Besides a bacon double cheeseburger?" 

"Yeah" He continued coolly leaning against the counter. 

Juliet froze like she'd been caught off guard when she realized he wasn't joking. She and Sawyer really hadn't had any heart to hearts about their lives off island without Miles and Jin there. She put her fingers to her earlobe and leaned her elbows on the table- her eyes glossed over. 

"My sister, Rachel- and... my nephew."

Sawyer watched her considerately and nodded. "What's his name? Yer nephew."

Juliet smiled sadly "Julian"

"We're gunna get back." Sawyer said comfortingly as he stepped over and placed a hand on her shoulder. Juliet let out a breath and looked up at him. She knew they both were becoming wary on that topic.

"What about you? What do you miss?"

Sawyer thought for a moment before replying. "Well, I got no right to but- I got a daughter I ain't never met. Clementine. Other than her-ain't got much waitin' for me"

"You have _every_ right to miss her." Juliet's expression pinched sympathetically as she reached up, placing a hand on his.

Sawyer leaned over to hand her the last beer.

"What a buzzkill huh? Lemme try again...  What do you NOT miss?" He grinned.

It was too late. Juliet was staring at the linoleum, lost in thought and Sawyer sighed. She'd gotten very still.

Juliet shook her head at the offer for the last beer. She still had a distant look in her eye. "It's late... I'm pretty drunk and... tired- and there's work tomorrow". Her voice drifted as her eyebrows both raised at him silently telling him she was done.

Sawyer nodded in understanding returning the beer to fridge. He was being shut down. "Yeh"

Juliet slid to her feet and grasped his hands with hers. She pulled him to the hall where he separated to grab his things from the couch before trailing after her. She glanced back at the kitchen as she flipped the hall light on.

"We can raid "Miles and Jin's place" tomorrow and I'll stop by the pantry on the way home."

She was trying to change the subject back to something safe- and he knew it. When Juliet stopped talking was when he worried about her most. She was the opposite of him. When he was upset- he let everyone know it, feel it even. When she was upset it was like a vice grip tightened around her and she froze up- her words lost inside her head. He was glad he was starting to read her pretty well, it was much better than just snapping and being mad at her for it. He understood now- she couldn't help it.

"Mmmmm. I like the sound of that "MIles and Jins place". He replied letting her know all was well.

Sawyer stopped off in the bathroom as Juliet headed to the bedroom. She left the light off- the hall light was plenty for her to see as she took off her jeans and unclasped her bra- slipping it out of her sleeve. She kept her t-shirt on and slid under the covers. her lids were heavy. 

Juliet felt his weight behind her as Sawyer moved into the bed and it brought a smile to her face. He put an arm over her protectively and she scooted back releasing a deep breath, as he locked on to her. His other arm was stretched under her head and his breath was warm against her neck- She felt him breathing deeply as he stroked her side lazily.-She arc'd her head back and he leaned over to kiss her pausing briefly. Her hand reached up to feel the pulse on his neck then moved to his dimples as he hummed sweetly. Tonight -both of them seemed content to just hold one another as they drifted into sleep.

.......

_His seat jerked forward then his stomach dropped like he was on a roller coaster that had just tipped over it's peak._

_The stewardess barely had a chance to tell them to return to their seats when the plane pitched nose first towards the ground._

_Air bags fell from above and Sawyer's eyes grew wide. His fingers dug into the arm of his chair briefly before he snapped out of it and reached up to grab a mask- tightening it to his face._

_The sounds of screaming, crunching metal and a horrible ripping pressure tore at him as he watched black smoke rush up the aisle._

_He quickly looked behind himself at the gaping hole in the plane and unbuckled his belt just before the cloud of darkness engulfed him and he was sucked out - ._

_The sun blinded him as his body free fell then collided into the water._

 

Sawyer's eyes jolted open. His breath gasping. He stared at the ceiling-then reached over - finding Juliet's place beside him empty. The sheets were cold. 

"Juliet?"

Sawyer whispered then he dropped his legs off the bed when he didn't hear a reply. He padded down the hall, flipping on the light then half covering  his squinted expression before stopping dead in his tracks as he passed the bathroom. Juliet was slouched against the wall opposite the toilet, Her eyes closed with a pained expression. One long leg was bent up and the other straight out in front of her. Her right hand was tightly clasped to her left shoulder.

Sawyer approached her and crouched down next to her bent leg.

"Juliet?" He whispered again as he placed a hand on her thigh. A thin sheen of sweat covered her body but she also felt cold. She was asleep- her hair partially tucked behind her ears. Sawyer pushed his own hair back and scratched his head. Not sure how to wake her. Maybe she drank more than he thought she did. He moved directly in front of her pausing to admire how she glowed like an angel before reaching to take her upper arms and steady her as he gently shook her. He figured at this angle she wouldn't be able to hit him if he scared her. 

Her head lolled a bit as she blew a breath out of her mouth-eyebrows furrowed, releasing her shoulder. Then like someone had thrown a cup of water in face- she jerked forward, her legs pushing off the floor in an attempt to back away as her eyes darted about her surroundings. Her hands wound around Sawyers forearms tightly.

"It's me...It's James. Yer safe." He said holding solidly to her arms as her eyes blinked around.

"Where... ?"

"Bathroom floor. Ya ok? You hurt?" He said calmly questioning her as he pulled his arm free to feel the shoulder she'd been clutching.  Her eyes followed his hand and she moved to get up-using his grip on her as leverage.  James stood up and helped her to her feet - noticing her stop and waver. She closed her eyes briefly then focused on James's bare chest. Her face flushed.

"You good?"

"Little dizzy- how'd I get in here?" She said clearing her throat. Sawyer smiled that he hand't gotten her standard "I'm fine" reply. 

"Yer guess is as good as mine" he shrugged turning to move them back to the hallway.

"I say anything?" Juliet said sleepily heading back to bed using the wall for balance.

Sawyer followed with concern and helped her back into her side of the bed.

"Nuh uh"

He moved around to his side and climbed back into the bed. Juliet immediately rolled towards him. Her blue eyes very awake now.

"Did I wake you?"

"Nope" Sawyer sighed heavily- running his hand down his face.

 "Got sucked out of an airliner, woke up when I hit the water. You were already gone."

She looked at him in concern- paused in thought then spoke again.

"What do you think it wants?"

He knew instantly she was talking about the Smoke Monster. Both of them were well aware that neither of them had been sleeping since they were swallowed by it in the jungle that night.

"I dunno- All I do know is that it seems to like pickin' through my head and un-burying all the things that scare the hell outta me."

By the look on her face- Sawyer knew the same thing was happening to Juliet. A tear rolled down to her pillow and her mouth curled into an embarrassed smile as she let out a quiet half laugh, half sob.

"Heyyy. C'mon now- I still got yer back." He pressed his lips against her head and let a nervous breath out as she slid her body over to his. 

"Did I ever tell you I used to have night terrors when I was a kid?"  
Juliet tipped her head to look at him.

"I did. Used to have arguments with no one and sleepwalk with my eyes open, least that's what I been told. Never remembered a damn thing the next day. Even woke up in a field behind my house once, no idea how I got there. "

Juliet's eyes fluttered and she made this soft humming noise- letting him know that she had heard him and was glad he told her.

"We'll figure it all out. I promise. I won't letcha go sleepwalkin' around Dharmaville" He said with a grin.

Juliet huffed a small laugh then pinched his arm.

"Oww. When'd you get so violent?" He felt her smiled against his chest.  

Sawyer rubbed his arm then let out a deep breath as he softly let his fingers trace the side of Juliet's face- memorizing it as she watched him. 

Juliet closed her eyes and locked on to him thankfully. She felt a pang of guilt- She wanted to tell him so much but the words wouldn't come out so- she didn't. She knew she had to stop keeping things from James that might upset him because eventually it would backfire but right now she was so afraid of him looking at her differently that the thought paralyzed her. She didn't want him to think she was weak. In actuality she was struggling to remind herself of that daily.

 

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

"Mornin' Enos. Where's Mr. Miyagi?" Sawyer said as looked around, realizing the floor was 1 person short before he headed for the coffee maker.

Miles spun his chair around wide eyed and hit a button releasing a surveillance tape from it's player. 

"Hey~ LaFleur. You're in early."

Sawyer stopped and turned to glare at Miles with suspicion. 

"Am I? Well, seein' as how I had a lot of talkin' to do last night- cus some body couldn't give me one damn minute to get my affairs in order. Yeh, I guess I didn't have time for much else sans sleepin' Moonbeam. Thanks fer yer concern. So- here I am all bright eyed an bushy tailed."

Miles rolled his eyes then asked hopefully raising his brows.

"So?"  
"Yeh yeh-It's all yers. I'll swing by n grab my stuff after shift."

Miles smiled victoriously and stood up to move to his locker just as Jin came down the stairs.

"He's still at the medical sta... Oh. morning Sawyer"

"Who's at the medical station?" Sawyer said glaring back at Miles.

"Uh... Bill." Miles replied.

"What? What the hell I miss?" 

"We were suppose to wait for Horace- he didn't really want everyone to know about it."

"Know about what?"

Miles moved back over and pushed the tape back in the player then nodded for Sawyer to have a look. 

"He lost' it. We caught him out on the fence line at like 3am. He was screaming at... Well- what Stuart called "Cererbus activity". 

"Sera-what?" Sawyer said, dropping into the chair and zooming in for a better look. as his fingers gripped his chin.

"The black smoke- better recognized in recruitment videos as "The Island's abundant and diverse wildlife"." Miles said flatly. 

Sawyer huffed. "Well, damnitt. What's wrong with him?"  
"Nothing" Jin said moving in to lean on the counter.

"Excuse me?" Miles questioned

"He claim he wasn't aware of any of it- until we show up. "  
"That's good right? At least he isn't crazy. I mean he did get his ass kicked by that thing once before." 

"Yeh, tha's just great Enos."Sawyer spat angrily.   
"What's your problem? You know something we don't?" Miles said to Sawyer stoically.

Sawyer sighed and took a drink of his coffee - his eyebrows furrowed in thought. 

"I caught Juliet sleepwalkin' last night. I mean, I woke up and she was in another room and didn't know how she got there."

"Okay, that's not good. She remember anything?"

Sawyer shook his head. 

"I'll talk to her about it. I gotta talk to her about the Cowboy anyhow. You read his file?"

"No, why?"

Jin stopped stacking his reports and looked at Sawyer.

"Turns out he requested a transfer to the Motor Pool from The Flame cus he had a "physical altercation with Radzinsky" just after we all arrived."

"Really? Huh." Miles seemed entertained with the idea that someone had potentially punched Stuart. God knows each of them had wanted to at least once.

"Maybe this Bill guy isn't as bad as I thought he was."

Jin's face seemed more accurately concerned.

"C'mon, LaFleur That's all you got?"

"Well I ain't done researchin' it, that's just the beginnin'. "

Sawyer huffed and turned back to his coffee. "Never mind all that. Get outta here. Go enjoy yer new room, Short Round."

"Right-I will. Also, there's a new schedule up- you're on in nights in two days. Welcome back to the cool crew."

Sawyer dropped his head. "Unbelievable. I thought Stuart was gunna stay on with you boys?"

"He is- but he's headed out to the Hydra for a few days-unless you'd _rather_ go on that field trip."

"Pfft."

"Alright then, since you're early- and I have a new room to sleep in- I'll catch ya later." Miles said turning and heading up the stairs.

Jin sat down. "You and Juliet? Okay?" 

"Yeh- we're good. Thanks, man." 

Jin nodded and patted Sawyer on the back before heading out the door as well.

Sawyer turned back to the monitors with a scowl. rewinding and re watching the tape. Trying to make sense of it.

 

.........

The day had gone slowly- a dreary drizzling rain was still coming down for the second day in a row. Jesse had come in on his afternoon off to help start end of month inventory because Bill was out sick. Juliet didn't remember Bill acting sick but she was a little relieved to have the day without him. She stopped by the pantry and grabbed 2 bags of groceries on her way home. She was planning to make soup. That way she could still send some with James for Miles and Jin. She was starting to really miss them and they'd only been working nights for a little over a week. Juliet didn't mean to make light of her friendship with Amy, but with the guys- they were all able to be absolutely who they were. They had a shared secret- a trust - comfort.  The longer they went without word from Daniel or any signs of Locke the more she felt like they were growing apart and it made her anxious.

Juliet wiped her wet face on her shoulder and pulled out her key while trying to balance her now soggy bags and the screen door as her front door pushed open without her unlocking it. Juliet paused and looked back at the courtyard. There were a few kids out in the rain on a nearby swing set squealing and jumping off swings into puddles that had yet to recede. She stepped in cautiously.

"James? You here?"

Juliet closed the door quietly with her hip and moved to the kitchen to set down her bags before picking up a broom that was leaning against the side of the fridge and slowly heading down the hall. Holding her breath as she pushed the bathroom door open with the end of the broom. Maybe she just thought she had locked it this morning. She moved to the bedroom. Everything seemed in order. Her eyebrows furrowed as she turned back to the kitchen. 

She sighed to herself and shook off the feeling of paranoia as she moved to the record player. She flipped through a few albums before pulling out Elton John's " _Goodbye Yellow Brick Road"_ putting it on the player with a soft smile before finally slipping her shoes off and padding back to her room. She stripped off her wet work clothes and stood in front of her closet rolling her neck before lifting her blonde locks and twisting her hair up. She glanced out the open bedroom door down the hall as "Bennie and the Jets" began playing. She pulled out a thin shirt and dropped down, sitting on the edge of her bed in her bra-slipping a pair of dry jeans - She thought she heard the door open and she stood up holding her shirt against her chest.

"James?"

Her face pinched and she swallowed hard while quickly pulling her head through her shirt and moving back out to the living room. She glanced around her eyes stopping on the front door. It was cracked, again. Juliet felt her heart jump in her chest as she slowly crossed to it. pushing it closed and turning the lock. Her hand was shaking as she turned back around. 

......

_There was a banging on the door. "Juliet?!"_

_Rachel looked at her with concern. It was Edmund. He was hollering at the front door._

_"Rachel, open the door. I need to talk to my wife." He was drunk._

_Juliet looked at her sister apologetically._

_"I'm gunna call the cops." Rachel said, moving to pick up her phone._

_"No, Don't. It will just make things worse..."_

_Rachel put her hands on her sister's arms and smiled like it hurt. She nodded and tried again._

  
_"Juliet... After all he's done, the asshole doesn't deserve you- he never did. Some people aren't meant to be together."_

_Juliet's face melted and tears started rolling down her face. She sat down on the couch and lowered her head into her hands._

_"I ... don't know how everything got... so out of control. "_

_Rachel sighed and walked over pulling the curtain aside - glaring at Ed's pathetic face. He closed his eyes and dropped his head guiltily._

_"Go home Ed. Before you get yourself locked up where you belong. This is the only warning I'm gonna give you."_

_........._

Sawyer pulled out his key and unlocked Juliet's door then bent over to pick up the brown box that contained his entire life on the Island. 

He pushed the door- still holding the screen door open with the side of his body. Something was blocking it. He looked around then dropped the box down again and knocked on the slightly ajar door.

"Juliet? You home?" 

He heard a shuffling sound then the door opened. Sawyer stood there arching an eyebrow at Juliet as he leaned over- picking up the box again. 

"Sorry."

"You cleanin floors or somethin?" He said noticing the chair next to the door as he walked in. 

She looked at him without comment as Sawyer walked over to the record player to pick up the needle which was skipping, at it's end, on the center of the record. His brow furrowed and he turned back to her.

Juliet wiped her palms down her jeans and then awkwardly moved to put the chair back in the kitchen. She turned back to the stove and removed the pot for dinner without looking back to him.

"Somethin' Smells good..."

Juliet shot him a small smile over her shoulder. Sawyer dropped to the armchair near the door and began unleashing his boots.

"Hope you had a good day cus I got some bad news."

Juliet stopped and turned.

"What's up?" she questioned - her expression blank.

"Apparently Billy Boy went out for a late stroll last night. Security picked him up- he was having a Pow-wow with our new buddy "Smokey" nearly walked right through the damn fence."

Juliet arched a brow. "What? How? Why would he..." Her voice faded to nothing as she tried to mentally answer her own question.

Sawyer continued.

"Yeh, case you didn't notice he wasn't at work today. He was at the medical station. Apparently he don't remember even leavin' his house last night."

Juliet's face paled. 

"Also- I got the next two days off BUT only cus I gotta switch to nights to cover for Stu- while he's on a safari at the Hydra- petting polar bears."

"Oh." was her only reply.

Juliet flashed a look of anxiety as she set out their bowls and sliced a few pieces of bread.

............

 

They ate in relative silence. Sawyer could see the wheels spinning in her head. After dinner he took her bowl and set it in the sink. He reached back over and pulled Juliet to her feet, pulling her down the hall. She followed him with curiosity as he set her on the edge of the bed. Looking at his serious expression as he knelt down between her knees.

She let out a sigh and closed her eyes as his hands rested on the tops of her thighs. How was it that his touch could be so soothing? 

"You gotta talk to me... I know it ain't yer style to trust people, cus it ain't mine either. And I also know you must have a really good list of reasons. I ain't never met anyone like you and for the life of me I can't figure out why you ain't running the other way. It amazes... and scares the hell outta me.

Her eyes were soft as she listened to him pour his heart out. When he paused. Juliet stood up and pulled him up from the floor.

"I trust you James. I don't always know how to say it but, I am grateful... for you." Juliet smiled awkwardly. Her eyes became glassy.

"Well that's good cus  I ain't going anywhere. This tight feelin' it's like- I need you." Sawyer swallowed hard at his own honesty. Juliet pulled him to her and her fingers slid over his chest. 

"You need me?" She repeated teasing him questioningly, before moving to kiss him sweetly. He slid his arms around her and closed his eyes.

Sawyer sighed at his own sappiness- his dimples deepening as he arched an eyebrow then shifted to feel her heat against his chest before going back in for a more intense kiss. He whispered in half frustration "You have any idea what you do to me? Yer stealin' all my wiseass-ness and leaving me here lookin' like a fool"

Juliet laughed at his comment the tipped her head pressing his forehead to hers.

He might have been mistaken but he felt like it was possible that he might have put a crack in her wall. He put his hand up to cup the back of her head. She pulled back and he released his grip questioningly.

Juliet stepped backwards towards the door then crossed her arms in front of herself grabbing the hem of her shirt. She grinned at him then pulled the fabric over her head, dropping it at her feet. Sawyer cleared his throat and took a step towards her as she took another backwards into the hall moving to unbutton her jeans. Sawyer growled approvingly as he tried to close the gap she was keeping between them. When she reached the bathroom - she angled herself and slipped her jeans off kicking them aside. 

She fluttered her eyes teasingly at him then whispered. "I need a shower- "seems I was fine a minute ago- now I'm all hot n bothered." Wanna come?"

Sawyer huffed out a laugh and dropped his head before shoving his hair back and moving to undo his shirt. He stepped closer with a squint. "I dunno. Ask me again."

"Wanna come?" Juliet said letting her tongue play against the inside of her upper teeth.

"Yeh." he said as he approached her- dropping his shirt to the floor with her jeans then swiftly pressing her to the wall as she let out a gasp of permission as her arms dropped over his shoulders. Sawyer lifted her, pinning her higher as his hands held her waist and he captured her lips fervently. The feel of her flesh made his body twitch with want as he lowered her back to the floor- dragging her body against his creating an intoxicating friction  as his fingers interlaced with hers. He pulled her into the bathroom his chest heavy as he turned on the water. Juliet moved in and closed the door, reaching up slowly to re-twist her hair on top of her head and fasten it more securely before leaning against it was she watched him undress, steam filling the room. 

Sawyer and Juliet went to bed early- They spent much of it- exploring each other. Juliet vied for control first and Sawyer relinquished it gladly. Letting her set the pace. She needed to touch him and taste him. He heard her make sounds he didn't even know existed. Her every move was so controlled and languid. Sawyer couldn't help by stroke her as she moved over him. Juliet was very aware of his body and his reactions- She was so soft and calculating. Sawyer felt drugged- the way she rocked against him, the way her breasts felt pressed in his palms. Her fluidity actually surprised him. He watched her, his expression one of seriousness and lust, his dimples were nearly nearly invisible. Juliet lingered on Sawyer's old injuries, letting her fingers trace each one in acknowledgement. A mark Sayid had given him when he was stabbed in the arm, the dent in his left shoulder where he'd taken the bullet out of himself, and of course, his calf which hardly showed any sign of trauma besides a small dime sized indenture on either side of his leg.  Outside the darkness of the bedroom Juliet she was so many things. A fidgeting-wiseass, flirty yet shy. Or stoic, polite and all business. But behind closed doors she transformed. She let all of that melt away and became this sensual, curvy, genuine, instinctive woman. Her feelings were raw and unmasked and it drove Sawyer crazy to witness it.

When Juliet allowed him to take over he followed her lead.  Mimicking her pace as well as her actions. The way her blue eyes watched him move over her body was like someone pouring liquid gold. It was memorizing. Sawyers hands felt every inch of her- she was gorgeous and smooth in his hands as he caressed her. He paused every so often just to stare at her. Sawyer paid special attention to her scars as well as he claimed her collarbone with swollen kisses- before moving to her mark and doing the same. Juliet loved to run her fingers into his hair and his scalp tingled shooting twinges straight to his groin. Juliet had never felt so protected and beautiful. She'd had moments of this before but no one that was truly her own. Sawyer made her feel alive for the first time in a long time, she was scared that she had something to lose. 

...........

For the second time, Sawyer woke up- having not been jolted out of sleep by a nightmare. He opened his eyes to Juliet sitting beside him- a sheet tucked modestly around her watching him with gentle loving glow. She smiled at him and he let out a sigh. 

"Hey Sweetheart. You sleep?" He said as he propped himself up on his elbow reaching to place a hand on her leg.

Juliet closed her eyes - her expression fading. Sawyer let go and pushed himself up with a groan questioning her mood.

"Ya okay?"

"I want to talk to Richard." She opened her eyes, staring at stark white sheets covering the bed, readying herself for the response. 

 


	21. Chapter 21

"You wanna what?!"

"I want to talk to Richard." 

She repeated coolly like it was a dentist appointment that she had to make. Juliet slid out of bed, already wearing her panties. She moved to her dresser to pull out the rest of her clothes. She slipped her bra on- facing away from Sawyer- before turning back to him with a determined look on her face. 

Sawyer moved to the edge of the bed and grabbed his boxers- yanking them on before making his way over to invade Juliet's personal space. His eyes darted back and forth as his nostrils flared in confusion.

"I do somethin' wrong? Last night?"

"No...no... It was perfect, all of it." Juliet said shaking her head apologetically with a slightly hurt tone in her voice. That wasn't what she'd meant for him to think.

"This 'bout yer Cowboy? Bout him goin' all crazy talkin' to smoke rings in the rain?"

"No" Juliet answered him quietly but firmly, clearly displeased over Sawyers use of the term _"YER Cowboy"_.

"Then what is it? You want to go talk to your buddy with the eyeliner about what happened when you were out there? Cus I'll tell ya what happened Blondie, I thought I was gunna lose you- and I came pretty damn close. I ain't doin' it again."

Juliet moved around him and started pulling her tank top on and then sat down on the edge of the bed to pull on her jeans and socks. Sawyer turned wide eyed and stared at her. 

"I gotta right to know..."

"I'm off tomorrow -  If we leave early enough we can be back before anyone knows we're gone." She said looking up at him.

"Woah now... _We_ ain't goin' anywhere!"

"Then stay here." Juliet said flat-lined- locking her jaw and getting up to pull a backpack out of the closet.

Sawyer let out a huge sigh and moved around to grab Juliet's arm.  She yanked it from his grasp and turned to him.

"Don't! You don't know what it's like. Alright? Knowing someone is out there- that has...  and you can't ... So, just... don't." Her eyes searched the room as if the answers she was seeking were somewhere in it. - her voice arc'd

Sawyer's features drained and he raised his hands hands up defensively as he backed off.

"I said it before. It ain't safe." He stated, quietly pleading his face serious but calm. Juliet listened to him, a flash of of hesitation crossed her face- her gaze drug slowly up to his from the floor.

"I need you, to help me. Will. you. help. me?"

Her eyes were teary but Sawyer got the message. She was trying to communicate through the vice grip that normally kept her silent. He moved next to her and turned to pull a gym bag from the top shelf- looking at her in disapproval before tossing it hard on the bed behind them. 

"We'll need to talk to Miles and Jin, If we time it right- Horace will never know. We need a walkie and a gun."

Juliet closed her eyes and swallowed knowing he was upset by the fact that he was using everyone's proper names. She pursed her lips and arched a brow giving him a faint smile.

"Knock it off- I ain't happy about this, not one bit..."

Juliet relaxed and nodded turning into Sawyer's body her arms at her sides. He sighed and pulled her close. 

"Thank you" She sighed heavily into his chest. Sawyer growled in response tightening his embrace.

 ........

 

Juliet's hair was pulled back a simple wavy ponytail. She'd normally straighten it because it _was_ 1974 but the last few days had been so wet that there was really no point.  She spent much of her day counting inventory and filing invoices again. It was busy work but her mind was adrift anyways as she played through the different scenarios debating what and what not to tell/ask Richard.  James had called during lunch to let Juliet know that she needed to come to the security station after work for a "family meeting". He was right, Miles and Jin needed to know the plan, their help would be essential. The rain was still coming down, on and off. The Beatles "Yellow Submarine"  was playing softly throughout the garage. Juliet's eyes were beginning to burn. She really hadn't slept last night, not even after James fell asleep in her arms. She was a little spooked by the idea that Bill had been sleepwalking - and that she knew he was having black smoke terrors.

Jesse poked his head into the office before he clocked out.

"Hey- I'm gunna take off. Good n..news~ Rains suppose to let up tonight. M..maybe tomorrow we can open the big door." 

Juliet smiled "Yeh? That _is_ good- I'm off tomorrow but it'll be nice to get outside. I'm starting to think the sun isn't coming back."  

"Right?" Jesse laughed as he waved goodbye.

Juliet stacked her paperwork and stepped into the door frame. She looked at the clock once more then turned her attention to Bill. She'd managed to avoid him most of the day, now they were all that was left.

"How you feeling?" She questioned knowing that wasn't sick.

He seemed irritated as he looked up with a pencil in his mouth then quickly retracted it- his eyes lingered questioningly. 

"I'm good, thanks. How's LaFleur?" He returned with a slight tone of hostility. Juliet paused.

"You need any of those filed before I go?" Juliet said ignoring his comment, trying to seem casual by being helpful.

"Naw- I can handle it."

Juliet nodded and turned to open her locker. Bill was leaning over the tool counter with his papers as the low sound of thunder rumbled through. The lights stuttered off and on for a few seconds and Juliet froze.

"Woah~" Bill commented glancing up as the lights returned to a regular glow.

Juliet she let out a very deliberate breath as a chill ran up her spine.

"Jules?" Bill said- setting down his pencil, aware of Juliet's sudden unease. .

"I'm fine. Just..." she smiled in a painfully fake manner as her gaze met his. 

"Still don't remember any of it huh?" Juliet's smile faded and she shook her head lightly. 

"No,  Just more like little... flashes..." 

_Why are you telling him this?_

He looked at her for a moment, then his features softened as he let out a sympathetic sigh.

 _"_ It was pretty intense. Walking in here- that night, I mean. The side door was open and this entire tool chest was all over the floor. There was blood and..."

Bill turned to lean his back against the counter as Juliet awkwardly moved to him, listening. Her fingers ran the edge of the tool counter in an attempt take in the visual of his description.  A sad expression crossed her face.

"I should've stayed, ya know? Off the clock. I can't help but think that a lot of things might have gone differently." 

"I trusted him... Mack." Juliet's face locked in a look of concentration, trying to put the pieces together. She didn't know why she was talking about it with Bill of all people. Her mind was telling her that it was not a safe choice, especially since he was clearly still upset about her being with James.

Bill sighed in understanding as he watched her- his nose twitching in anger.

"We all did. He's lucky security got to him first.  I would've..."

"The rain." Juliet continued softly as she listened to the water pattering against the garage door.

His eyebrows narrowed in concern as he leaned closer to her. "Yeh... just like now." he confirmed. 

Juliet stared off for a long moment then mechanically pushed off the counter and walked past him towards the side door- stopping as her fingers hovered over the light switch. Bill swallowed as he watched with memorized uncertainty.

"Juliet?" He warned her.

She turned back-looking right at him, straight-faced. She blinked stoically then flipped the switch. As the lights went off Juliet's hand moved to grasp the cold door frame and her body lurched- she let out a soft gasp -  her heart lept. She closed her eyes tightly as her other senses took over. The smell of the garage, the sound of the rain, the feel of the air, the swept up feeling of her feet leaving the ground.

Emotions shot through her like an electrical current. Her knees were instantly weak as she slowly buckled and slid down the door to a crouched position, one hand still gripping the door frame next to her- the other planted on the floor as though it was keeping her from spinning.

_A dark figure dragged her back inside._

_Her feet barely touched the floor._

_The sound of tools crashing loudly to the floor._

_Her arms were both pinned to her chest._

_Her own panicked voice pleading._

 

_Someone was moving towards her..._

 

Suddenly, the light flipped back on, Bill quickly squatted down beside her. His eyes searching hers with thickening interest.

"Jeezus...What the hell..."

Juliet's chest was heaving, her eyes were glassy and the corner of her mouth twitched as she stared at the floor where the tools had fallen, breathing shakily through her mouth.

Bill's slightly panicked voice snapped her back to his attention and she swiftly moved to wipe her face with the back of her hand.  She looked slightly confused as began pushing herself back to her feet. He reached his hands out to her. Juliet stared at it then glanced up at him.

"You back? You okay?" 

Juliet attempted to drain her features as took his hands nodding and he pulled her to her feet. 

"Your hands are cold" Bill noted as she pulled away hovering her hands defensively in front of herself.

Bill let out a frustrated sigh "It's a sign of shock. You should probably sit down for a minute."

"I'm... fine." Juliet swallowed.

"Clearly." Bill growled as moved a few steps back and pulled a stool out from the counter with an angry screech then walked back over and reached to grasp Juliet by her upper arms- solidly turning her towards the stool.

Juliet's eyes went wide and she let out a gasp but she didn't stop him. She slid up onto the stool hesitantly as Bill stood in front of her and grabbed the pencil off the counter behind her. His body leaning to brush across hers.

"What are you doing?" Juliet said quietly, watching his actions carefully.

"Will you just let me look at you? Follow the pencil with your eyes."

"I... told you..." Juliet said just above a whisper. She wasn't sure where her voice went.

"Yeh, and I heard you. Now, follow the damn pencil."

Juliet pursed her lips, at his angry tone and obediently set her hands on her lap and followed the pencil. She knew what he was checking for and also knew she was fine but her instincts told her to listen to him. Juliet realized too late that Bill had moved dangerously close. He was bent slightly hovering over her. His free hand moved to her thigh, just above her knee. Juliet saw something change in his expression. His look was suddenly intense.

Bill dropped the pencil and his hand flew around the back of Juliet's head, as he swiftly moved in and kissed her, his lips were hard and unforgiving. She didn't kiss him back as she sucked in a whimper of shock. Juliet's brows angled painfully as she instinctively raised her hands up to his chest in an attempt to push him off. He  took one of Juliet's wrists- locking on as held her by the back of her hair pressing in. Juliet's knees rotated and she slid sideways off the stool. As soon as her feet hit the floor- she ripped her head free and stumbled, falling backward and catching herself as Bill yanked the stool out of his way, sending it careening to the floor in a clatter before spinning her to face himself. She pulled away and her back smacked solidly against the tool counter, Juliet let out a pained gasp as she used her free arm to push herself upright. Their eyes locked. She'd seen this look before.

Just then the side door opened with an obnoxious wet creaking sound. Bill released Juliet instantly and took a long step back. Letting out a heavy breath out- his nostrils flared, he reached down and moved the stool upright as his eyes locked on Jin's.  Juliet immediately straightened herself up and swallowed hard as her eyes also met Jin's.

Jin's expression flinched but he remained unreadable. His eyes were carefully processing the scene as he walked in.  

He nodded at Bill, his eyes dropping as though he was trying to keep Bill from reading his thoughts. Jin's body moved instinctively to stand in between Bill and Juliet. He turned his attention to Juliet, giving her a concerned look as he noticed her fingers awkwardly fidgeting with her cuff on her sleeve. He tipped his chin ever so slightly- silently asking if she was " _okay"_

The tension in the garage was palpable. 

Juliet gave him a single nod and forced a smile before averting her eyes.

"LaFleur said to me to come get you. Ready to go?"  

"Yeh" She said coolly before turning to her locker to retrieve her things. 

Bill attempted to act casual as he moved back to stack the paperwork he had been working on earlier. His eyes followed Juliet until he noticed Jin watching him. He gave a half smile "Sounds like the _rain_ is finally stopping." He said slowly as he picked up his pencil from the floor and used it to point upwards- as though maybe Jin wouldn't understand him without the gesture.

Jin nodded at him- stone faced then moved back to the door and waited for Juliet.

"Hope you have a nice "uncomplicated" day off, Jules." Bill said flatly -as Juliet passed him- his eyes shifting suspiciously. Juliet understood the warning as the corner of her eyebrow twitched.

As the garage door slammed closed- Juliet let out a huge breath and headed around the building towards the security station. It was dark but Jesse was right, the rain had finally stopped. Jin quickly caught up to Juliet and gently halted her. 

"You okay?" He said, his eyes searching hers.

Juliet nodded.

"He... hurt you?" 

She shook her head.

"This not... good. We talk about with Miles and Sawyer?"

Juliet shook her head again then looked at him pleadingly. 

Jin let out a breath of hesitation

"I'll talk to him. Soon. Okay? I promise. Not tonight."

Jin squinted then nodded reluctantly and they continued forward.

"He will be more problem" Jin said as he pulled open the door to the station and gestured Juliet in. She stopped and put a hand on his shoulder sweetly.

"I know. Don't worry." Juliet said quietly then she moved down the steps.

 

 .......

It took a bit of convincing that they would be able to get beyond the fence, find the "Hostiles" and get back in one day but eventually Miles realized that Juliet wasn't backing down and that LaFleur wasn't going to let her out into the jungle without him.

"I hope you two know what you're doing."  
"Look, we just stick to the plan- We'll take a spare walkie from here an' swing by the Motor Pool gun cage before dawn- They ain't gunna miss one pistol,  they don't even open the damn thing."

 Juliet nodded in confirmation that his statement was true then picked up the conversation confidently. 

"We'll use the walkies when we cross the fence both coming and going then in case of emergency. We'll be gone before you leave tomorrow morning and back after you are on shift tomorrow night."

"And if you're not?" Jin piped in.

"Then Miles can have my "Led Zeppelin IV album"." Juliet said sarcastically- knowing that Miles had mentioned it on a few random occasions. Technically it wasn't even hers- it came with the house, but she also wasn't above blackmail at this point.

Sawyer sighed.

"Alright any questions? Comments?"

"What if someone comes looking for you? Ya know?"

"Strawberry Shortcake is volunteering at the school tomorrow - Stu will be at the Hydra and ain't no one else keepin' that close a tabs on us."

Jin's eyes shot to Juliet and she looked at the floor, knowing his look was about Bill.

"Right?" James said takin' note that everyone was very quiet. 

Everyone nodded. 

"Okay- then it's settled." 

 .....


	22. Chapter 22

By the time she had finally gotten home, eaten and put together a backpack to take with them, Juliet was beyond exhausted. Her mind had been on overdrive all day. She was concerned about confronting Richard but more than that- her encounter with Bill at work had throttled her. The longer she had to think on it the more stunned she had been at Bill actions, and her own. Why did he paralyze her so easily?  Juliet'd come to realize that when she was prepared for bad things to happen- she seldom failed in being effective in her defenses, she was somehow able to disassociate herself. There was no hesitation. She did what she needed to do. Like when she shot Danny or when she'd gone after Charlotte and Daniel in the Tempest. And yet whenever she let  someone in, trusted them that nothing could happen and it did- she found her body frozen, as though she were watching it happen to someone else from afar. Like with Ed, or even Jack - when he had put a broken plate to her throat.

Juliet really felt like she had no one to blame but herself. She'd let this escalate and now she had no idea how to contain it. She knew James would never hurt her but on the flip side of that same coin she knew he could potentially kill Bill. She had to choose her actions carefully or risk them all being in trouble with the Dharma Initiative and possible expelled from the island which would eliminate any chance of them returning to their own time or her ever seeing Rachel or Julian again.

James had slept a good portion of the day-napping on and off, trying to get himself a bit of rest because he knew he'd be switching to nights the moment they got back from the jungle. He had charted their path on his homemade map- figuring it was about 7 miles one way to  where he assumed "the hostiles" camp still was. His map was gridded and he had also penciled in where a few of the stations along the way were. They'd need to try to avoid being seen by them if they could help it. Luckily their shortest path would be straight through the jungle. Unluckily, it was also the most dangerous for defensive positioning.

Juliet showered and came out to the living room in her new standard sleepwear: James's T-shirt .  James was sitting in the armchair reading her newest book his eyes raising in approval at the sight of her in his shirt. She walked over and noticed him squinting.

"Did you wear glasses?" She questioned curiously running a hand through his hair and massaging his neck as she slid onto his knee.

Sawyer folded the book closed with an embarrassed sigh. 

"That obvious? What is it about you doctors? First Jackass, now you."

Juliet let out an amused laugh.

"I actually might be slipping. I should've noticed sooner.  We can stop by the medical station when we get back order you a perscription. It'll probably help with your headaches."

  
"Headaches... Hmpph. Did Miles tell you that I was havin' headaches?" Sawyer huffed irritably 

Juliet arched her eyebrow at him then smiled victoriously.

"No. You did. Just now." 

"Har Har. Very funny Dr. Quinn" 

"I'm gunna go to bed. It's been a long day. You staying up?"

"Yeh, I gotta." Sawyer said stroking Juliet's back noticing her flinch a bit when his hand stopped on a tender part.

"Tripped over a stool at work. Fell back and hit the counter." She said plainly as her gaze dropped to stare at nothing. It wasn't a lie. It just wasn't the entire truth either. She let out a sigh. 

Juliet looked at him like she wanted to ask him something and Sawyer tipped his head realizing how tired her eyes were. She hadn't slept since he told her about Bill's night escapade around Dharmaville .

"Go' on. I'll keep my eyes on ya" He said waggling his eyebrows with a smile as he rubbed her thigh. Juliet leaned in and kissed his forehead then headed to bed. 

 

..........

 _“But hardly anybody ever finds out that their actions really, actually, hurt other people! People don’t get better, they just get smarter. When you get smarter you don’t stop pulling the wings off flies, you just think of better reasons for doing it.”_  
― [Stephen King](https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/3389.Stephen_King), [Carrie](https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/1552134)

Sawyer closed his eyes. He had been starting to doze off when he thought he heard Juliet say something from the bedroom. He quietly marked his page and set down the book on the end table. 

Juliet stirred restlessly. Sawyer flipped on the hall light and leaned on the door frame for a moment before moving closer. Juliet made a strange whimpering noise, her head began to move and her eyes shifted rapidly under her closed lids. Sawyer knelt down beside her and watched - a furrowed look of concern painted on his face. 

Within seconds, she let out a choked cry and shifted to her back. Sawyer jumped - cursing under his breath. _"Sonofabitch"_  He thought before instinctively reaching over and trying to wake Juliet by touching her shoulder.

Just as he cupped her shoulder Juliet's hand instantly shot up and clutched Sawyers wrist tightly pulling it away from herself as her eyes opened. Sawyer's breath hitched again and he froze. Her upper body moved swiftly up onto her elbows as she breathed heavily and focused on him- blinking hard. 

"It's me Baby." He whispered sadly.

"Hi" Juliet breathed back nearly audibly with a confused tiny smile.

Sawyer retracted his arm carefully from Juliet's grip and let her completely recognize him before he lifted himself to sit on the bed-she apologetically slid over and made room for him- He scooted in upright with his back resting against the headboard then sighed  and tapped for Juliet to move over and rest her head on his thigh. A silent tear escaped her as his fingers combed her hair back from her face gently.

Sawyer reached down and pulled the blanket back up over his legs and Juliet's semi-curled form.

Within' minutes Juliet's breathing evened back out. Sawyer glanced at the clock. 2 hours. They needed to be gone in 2 hours.

.........

It was still dark when they stopped by the Motor Pool. Juliet used her key and opened the door-pulled out her flashlight and lead them through to the gun locker. Sawyer noticed her pause awkwardly as they moved past the tool counter towards the office but it was too dark to read her expression. Juliet turned on the light in the office and opened the cage. She took out a rifle and tossed a box of ammunition to Sawyer-who stuffed it into their backpack. She passed him the rifle  then pulled out a second rifle and slung it over her own shoulder before going back in to retrieve a pistol. Juliet checked the chamber then tucked it into the front of her waistband.  She dug out a handful bullets and tucked them into her pocket. Sawyer's eyes narrowed as he stepped closer and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Ya good there Annie Oakley? Or ya think we need a grenade launcher too?" 

"Do you think they have one?" she bounced back sarcastically. 

He slowly slid the rifle off her shoulder and leaned it back inside the gun locker. 

"Gunna be best to travel light. Can only shoot one at a time anyhow right?" 

Juliet stared at him for a second then swallowed and nodded in reluctant agreement as she readjusted her pistol and locked the cage.

.........

 

Juliet's memories flooded her as they made their way out to the fence. 

_"Okay, hold the rifle butt here, against the soft dent between your shoulder and your... There. Good?" Goodwin smiled at Juliet as he stood behind her to help adjust her stance._

_"If you don't -you'll know it pretty quick and probably end up bruised." He moved her hair- pushing it delicately back off her shoulder and out of the way._

_"Always keep your finger straight on the outside of the trigger until you have a target lined up. This is your safety position."  Juliet raised the rifle, aiming at a few cans that were resting on a fence facing an open expanse of field, as Goodwin stepped back._

_"The worst part is the sound- it's loud -so, your body is going to be anticipating it .  Take a few deep breaths, relax, clear your thoughts and focus on aiming.  Breathe out a full exhale then pull the trigger, that way there's less tension in your body on the recoil and you wont be shifty with your aim."_

_Juliet's eyes blinked slowly as she looked back at Goodwin processing the instructions. She looked at the cans- chose her target then swallowed.  Taking a deep breath through her nose and blowing it out through her open mouth as she lined up the sights. The rifle let out a loud crack, as the shell casing flung itself out, spent- followed by the plinking of a can as the bullet tore into it, sending it off the fence._

_"Good! Ya Okay? Huh! Look at you! You're a natural." Goodwin huffed proudly as he reached over and Juliet handed the rifle back to him._

_Her ears were ringing as she nodded beaming a full smile at him. - That was the first time in a long time that she'd felt her chest pounding from exhilaration instead of fear._

......

 

Getting out of the barracks proved easier than Sawyer had planned. They radio'd Miles and he was able to pull the tapes, erase their recorded presence and loop the feed to cover the missing frames. They crossed the fence line and headed around the nearby lake. Sawyer was already wishing that they had taken a vehicle but he knew that would be noticed missing before they were.

They walked side by side in silence as the sun broke free from the ground. The skies looked cloud free and Juliet was grateful. They crossed a clearing and moved into the forest- following what looked like a dirt footpath. 

"Probably gunna take 3 maybe 4 hours total ta' get in the right area. If we head south an' cut past The Pearl we can save a little time." Sawyer finally said as he moved to a shallow area and crossed a small creek. 

"If we follow this stream it turns into a ravine. " Juliet replied flatly, following his lead. 

"You thought about what you wanna ask yet?' To Ricardo?  " Sawyer said questioningly.

"A bit."

"Care to share?"

Juliet let out a long breath and stopped, She slid her arms out of her long sleeve shirt from over her tank top and proceeded to tie it around her waist.  Even though it was still early it was shaping up turn into a hot humid afternoon. She started softly- like the thoughts were still forming in her head as she moved to twist her hair up into a loose bun to get it off of her neck. She stared at the running waters as she spoke.

"I know... it wont matter if I remember what happened. I'm not naive to the fact that it probably won't change the way I feel about it. But, I need to know. I also think Richard knows the most about the island and the black smoke- He could help us."

Juliet raised her eyes to Sawyer, in waiting.

"Alright, so say he tells us what you wanna know then changes his mind on letting us just saunter off into the sunset without answerin' a few of his questions? Then what?"

"Then.. we use these" Juliet said raising the pistol from her waistband. Sawyer sighed and shook his head then flashed a dimpled smile.

"So violent." He joked.

Juliet stopped to face him.

"Thank you... for not pushing me. I know you aren't happy to be out here."

Sawyer set down their backpack and tugged on Juliet's waist.

"Well, we could always take a detour from chasin' yer White Rabbit, Alice.  Ya know? Hop off the crazy train for the day and swing by a quaint lil waterfall I know 'bout, take a dip? Technically, we could call it our first date." Sawyer beamed- winking with a wolfish grin.

Juliet leaned into him and his lips captured hers. Pulling back a bit with an amused smile.

"I forgot my swimsuit... and my towel." Juliet replied arching a brow.

Sawyer growled teasingly "Women, always worried about fashion." 

"It is kind of nice... to not have cameras over our shoulders out here." She agreed.

"Yep- A nice romantic stroll through nature with a beautiful woman and possibility of capture by the hostile natives... Can't say it doesn't turn me on a little." He continued as he detached himself from Juliet and reached down pulling a canteen out of their backpack. He handed it to Juliet before dragging out his map and checking their position.

The terrain had become much more steep as they worked their way down along the water's edge. Juliet was right- they were bottle necking into a ravine. Sawyer found himself with his hand lingering on his rifle as they moved cautiously forward. When they reached a plateau'd area they decided to stop for lunch.

Juliet no sooner crouched down to unzip their backpack that Sawyer set down before  they both heard a rifle slide lock into place from the nearby trees. 

Sawyer instantly unshouldered his rifle and turned around, in a circle, looking for a target as Juliet slowly rose to her feet, hands half-raised in surrender. 

"We mean no harm. We just want to talk. We're looking for Richard. Richard Alpert?" Juliet called out using her honey sweet tone of voice that Sawyer knew worked.  Juliet looked at James silently asking him to lower his rifle. He gave her a " _The hell I am"_ look back.

  
"Put down your weapon then." A man's voice called from across the stream a few yards up the ravine. Sawyer spun towards the sound but saw nothing.

"Why don't you put down yours,  jungle boy, an' come out where we can see you!"

Just then, 4 men emerged from two different directions- all their guns pointed at Sawyer. Juliet stood still, her breath hitching as they approached. They were all dressed in simple military style outfits. One had a vest, another a radio. Juliet instantly wondered how long they'd been followed.

Sawyer huffed in defeat and raised one had defensively as he lowered his rifle to the ground and stepped back, giving a sarcastic tiny stage bow. 

"Okay- gentlemen? We ain't in yer territory yet so there's no need to be "hostile". I'm sure we can work this out in a civilized like manner."

Two of the men crossed the shallows of the creek and approached Sawyer, keeping him locked in place with their weapons. The other two came from the trees and moved to Juliet. The one behind her holstered his pistol and casually took hold of her from behind- pulling her elbows together like chicken wings, immobilizing her. Juliet took a breath, her eyes locked on James as she complied cautiously. Sawyer's eyes squinted as he surveyed the men and their surroundings. The second man moved in front of Juliet with a grin. He shouldered his rifle and reached in-his eyes moving over her body before slowly dragging the pistol from the waistband in the front Juliet's pants. She watched him, unwavering.

"Woah Hey!... C'mon now." Sawyer hollered, knowing what the guy was thinking. His eyebrows angling together as his mind reeled.

"So... You want to talk to Richard?" The one that took Juliet's pistol said in a husky voice moving uncomfortably close to her.

Sawyer took a step towards her and was instantly rewarded with a rifle butt hit to the back of his right shoulder, dropping him to his knee with a pained grunt.

Juliet's eyes darted to him-a flash of panic crossed her face. Her nostrils were flaring. Sawyer sighed and rolled his neck defiantly, giving her a look not to worry, he was okay. Juliet looked the man in the eye and spoke with an air of authority.

"Etiam volo loqui _Richardum_. Dic "Juliet" negotio agere secum velit, placeat." Juliet said in Latin gesturing with her eyes to the radio attached to the man's hip before looking to each of their faces, in front of her.

The three men she could see all looked at one another- Their gazes ended on the man with the vest- who was looking suspiciously at Juliet from his position in front of Sawyer. Juliet made a mental note that he was the leader and locked eyes with him.

"Yeh, what she said! Call yer boss." Sawyer growled, attempting to stand back up as the leader lowered his rifle and turned throwing a right punch down into Sawyer's face.

"Hey!" Juliet shouted as she pulled against her capture. She felt her left shoulder weakening and had to force her body to relax.

 The leader that had punched Sawyer turned and walked towards her then leaned down to pick up their backpack. He shuffled it's belongings - tossing a few food items out onto the ground.  Sawyer wiped the blood from his lip with the back of his hand as he watched. He knew both he and Juliet were both thinking the same thing. They were glad they stashed their walkie back by the lake near the fence. 

"You gotta habit of stealin' peoples lunches Hulk?" He said sarcastically.  The rifle guy still behind him swiftly sent a foot into Sawyer's back, effectively shoving him to his hands with one knee down.

"You. Don't speak." He scolded Sawyer

"Sonofabitch. C'Mon!"

The leader moved back to Sawyer shaking his head in disapproval as Sawyer bent up onto his haunches. The leaders fist flew down connecting with Sawyer's eyebrow and temple with a crack.  Sawyer buckled forward as the guy behind him grabbed a chunk of his hair, and the leader pushed his foot into Sawyer's chest - planting him on his back- Sawyer caught himself on his elbows. taking a ragged breath of frustration. 

"Stop! Please. James?!" Juliet called her voice pitched in concern. She tested the 4th man's hold on her again as she tried to move towards Sawyer- her breath forced out of her as she was yanked her back hard against him. Sawyer was now bleeding from above his left eye as well. 

The leader went back to checking the pockets of their pack before sliding Sawyer's map out and placing it in his vest pocket. He nodded at the radio guy and the man stepped away into the trees. Sawyer saw him pull his walkie off his belt and let out a thankful sigh. 

 

"Your friend needs to know how to keep his mouth shut." The leader said returning his attention to Juliet- as he pulled a hiking rope from a pocket attached to his vest. 

"Tie him up-so I don't have to think about him again" he said to the rifle guy, tossing him the rope before stepping past Juliet to follow the man with the radio into the trees.

Sawyer scowled and leaned forward reluctantly as the man's knee pressed into his back. He huffed at the feel of his wrists being bound together behind him.. His eyes watching Juliet. Her face looked concerned and he could see the corner of her mouth twitching ever so slightly. 

The rifle man pulled Sawyer up by a bound arm and set him against a large rock- presumably so he couldn't run, then moved to lean on another nearby rock keeping his fire arm loosely trained in Sawyer's direction. 

The radio guy and leader returned and checked the weapons they'd claimed from Sawyer and Juliet. The leader sat down and sighed. Clearly they'd been told to wait where they were. They all glanced at each other in awkward silence 

Sawyer was still watching Juliet when her eyes met his. His expression clearly asking if she was  _"okay?"_

Juliet blinked at him slowly telling him she was fine.   The radio guy  noticed the interaction and smirked at Juliet again then tipped his head and looked at Sawyer. He dropped the backpack he had been looking through and walked back over to Juliet.

She hadn't moved or been moved-She was still standing in the same spot, her demeanor was passive and the 4th man still had her arms locked behind her. Her shoulder's were starting to feel a familiar ache. 

Sawyer growled in warning "You better watch yerself, Kong." 

The radio guy looked back at Sawyer again, accepting the challenge by arching a brow at his cautioning words then turning back to Juliet. He reached out and untied her shirt from around her waist, letting it drop to her feet. Juliet set her jaw and stared at him defiantly. The man behind her tightened his hold forcing her to arch her back to comply with his hold. Juliet's eyes closed briefly. 

Radio guy  took a step back, licking his lips with a squint in his eye- admiring her. As soon as he began to move closer- Juliet's nostril's flared and she centered her stance,  sending her foot backwards, planting it into the guy behind her's leg, and kicking hard and down -causing him to release her as she felt  his knee buckle back with a snap. He dropped to the ground in a howl. The radio guy instantly reached for her neck and she instinctively blocked with her left sending her freed right hand forward and up open palm striking him in the nose. - Juliet stepped her right leg behind his bent body and swept his feet out from under him instantly knocking the wind out of him as he hit the ground. She turned back to the guy behind her again-breathing hard through her mouth to make sure he wasn't getting up then she re-raised her hands in surrender as Sawyer launched himself - shoulder tackling the rifle man to the ground. 

The leader, who watched in shock as the whole scene rapidly played out jumped to his feet and stepped in- dropping Juliet to her knees and pressing the barrel of her pistol to the back of her head.  Juliet's eyes met Sawyer's. He instantly rolled off the rifle man, frozen. 


	23. Chapter 23

Suddenly a woman's voice yelled to them.

"That's enough!" 

A blonde stepped out into the clearing with Richard trailing close behind her. She had a handgun raised in Juliet's direction. Juliet was still running on sheer adrenaline. Her eyes were glassy and she was on the edge of hyperventilating.

"Thank you! 'Bout damn time you showed up. Tell _yer boys_ to back off, Hoss!"

Sawyer huffed angrily- shoving himself up from his elbow to sit upright. He was aiming his heated comment at an unnerved and well dressed, Richard. Richard's eyes glanced around,  attempting to put the scene together.

The radio guy had rolled to a sitting position and was repeatedly wiping his nosebleed on the shoulder of his shirt, his dark eyes burrowed into the back of Juliet's head with contempt. The 4th guy was still reeling as he rolled his pant leg up over his kneecap. The rifle man had returned to his feet and stepped out of Sawyer's range re aiming his weapon as the group's leader held Juliet in position with her own gun- her hands still raised in surrender in a kneeling position.

"Stand down. " The woman said in a commanding British accent to the leader. His nose twitched as though he wanted to explain but instead he lowered the pistol and took a long obedient stride backward. 

"James, Juliet" Richard said calmly nodding in greeting before looking to the blonde woman.

"As per the earlier order I gave you. They are to be kept unharmed. Is that clear?"

She gave a serious look to each of her men as she holstered her handgun.  Juliet found herself staring at the blonde. Her eyes briefly darted back to where Sawyer was sitting then to Richard as she swallowed.

"I apologize James. They aren't "my boys". They're hers.  I guess I wasn't clear on that at our last encounter. I'm not a leader here-there is a chain of command. I'm a liaison, an adviser, if you will." 

"Eloise" Juliet whispered in recognition. It was the girl from 1954-at the Jughead. She was sure of it. They had met her before and Daniel had mentioned her numerous times.

Sawyer shot Juliet a confused look then looked back at the blonde who was staring at him.

"Remarkable." Eloise said not unaware that Juliet had called her by name.

She moved to the leader, he pulled out the map and handed it to her along with Juliet's pistol as the radio guy finally got to his feet and moved to help the 4th man whose knee was clearly dislocated. Eloise opened the map, examined it,  then looked from Sawyer to her men.

"You two, head back to your posts." She said to the leader and rifle man.

"And you, take him back and have his leg checked out." 

All four men paused briefly then moved out- disappearing back into the trees without question. Eloise nodded at Juliet that she was free to move to Sawyer then went back to looking at the map. Sawyer dropped his head as Juliet stood and made her way to him, carefully bending to untie his ropes as Richard collected their backpack, placing the tossed items back together and setting it near Juliet's knee.

"You okay?" Juliet asked quietly not looking directly at him. All of their eyes were on Eloise. Once Sawyer was untied Juliet ran her hands over him, checking for serious injury. He wrung his wrists and let his tongue roll across his split lip. 

"Yeh-yeh." He said- his eyes narrowed on Eloise reading his map.

Juliet swallowed, her eyebrows angled apologetically. Richard picked up Juliet's shirt and returned it to her- she smiled weakly at him then reached for their canteen, which was lying nearby, pouring water on her shirt to wipe the blood from James's eyebrow.

"Ain't the first time I been tied up in the jungle an used as a punchin' bag.  I'm alright." Sawyer growled, wincing as Juliet clinically dabbed at his cut.  Juliet nodded, running her fingers gently along his jaw then reached down and grasped his hands , helping him to his feet as he let out a groan. 

"You look much better than the last time I saw you." Richard smiled charmingly to Juliet clearly pleased that she was well.

He brought them their pack and Sawyer reached for Juliet's shirt and stuffed it inside, keeping his eyes on Richard. Juliet nodded at Richard knowing that he was the one that had returned her.

 

"Thank you." Juliet said politely leaning back down to retrieve the canteen before passing it James. He had begun to sweat now that the midday heat was hitting them. 

"That's right. I was told you were having a hard time remembering what happened" Richard continued when he noticed Juliet's generic response. Juliet watched him with interest but said nothing.

Eloise unloaded the bullets from both of the newly acquired weapons then proceeded to hand them back to Sawyer. He arched an eyebrow at her and took the unloaded guns, nodding in suspicious thanks.

"Thanks, Sister. And now that ya got my map- you wanna tell us which way is out?" Sawyer said with a frown as he pushed his hair back and tried to get his bearings.

"We'll walk with you to the main clearing, so... we can talk. That is why you're here isn't it? As it turns out I have a few questions for you as well." She replied in a casual manner as she tucked his map into her pocket. 

Sawyer and Juliet shared a look, both of them unsure what to make of Eloise. They hadn't been planning on her nor had they been planning on things going this smoothly sans the hostile's welcoming party that is. Richard gestured the direction and Sawyer slung his rifle on his shoulder and took the lead, tucking the empty pistol into his belt. Juliet picked up their backpack and slid it on as Eloise moved to walk alongside her with Richard following last.

Eloise eyed Juliet silently for a few moments then spoke

"I wanted to apologize for your treatment when you were taken from your camp. It was inappropriate. I want you know that Charles is no longer on the island-for now. He's been sent on an entrepreneurial en devour. You can rest assured that Richard was telling the truth. There is no need to worry about a repeat incident. He... can be difficult... when he becomes passionate about something."

Juliet listened to her then nodded politely letting her know she appreciated the information. Something about this woman's voice, the way she talked about Widmore made her feel as though there was more to their relationship than she was willing to let on.

"Thank you." Juliet said kindly.

Sawyer glanced back and gave her the _"It's now or never"_ face. Juliet swallowed.

"We... also came to talk about something else. The black smoke." Juliet said, her eyes moving from Eloise to Richard carefully.

Both of them stopped walking.

"You've seen it?" Eloise said coolly, her blue eyes darkening in curiosity. Sawyer huffed and looked back- clearly agitated by her questioning tone.

  
"Yeah we seen it, Blondie. It damn near swept us up and dropped us in the land of Oz. Why the hell else ya think we'd be askin' ? " 

Juliet shot Sawyer a warning look. He lowered his gaze and sighed in acceptance.

"Is there anything you can tell us about it? What it wants?"

"What it wants? It scanned you? It didn't harm you?" Richard cut in questioningly, clearly a bit surprised.

"No.  I'm sorry? Scanned? I don't understand." Juliet asked, leaving out the fact that Bill had been injured by it.

Eloise took a deep breath- she was quiet for a long moment before she gestured for them to continue walking as she spoke again averting her gaze to the path ahead of them, in thought.

"Have you had any visions? According to Charles, the "Man in Black" or the "Smoke Monster" as the children call it- is a much-feared figure, he's the center of ghost stories,  nightmares, a myth of "jungle noises in the night". Eloise paused and Richard continued.

"That thing has been known to manifest itself as deceased persons to those it scans. It looks until it finds a weakness, then uses it against them- to do what it wants. It's deceptive and dangerous."

"Well, it ain't no man and I guess it ain't no myth then either, is it Hoss? Since you seem pretty familiar with it." Sawyer said squinting at Richard. 

"I am. but it also cannot harm me, and it knows this. You, I'm afraid aren't as lucky."

 "And how is it exactly, that the rest of you ain't never run into it?" Sawyer said, his eyes narrowing back in Eloise's direction.

"Because James, our people are protected. Although, It is intriguing that _that thing_  clearly must believe you also have a purpose here or you wouldn't have been left uninjured. Perhaps it's because you aren't back to your own time yet." Eloise said casually.

Sawyer and Juliet's eyes darted to one another. They were getting dangerously close to a topic they were trying to avoid. 

"I dunno what yer talkin' 'bout, lady" Sawyer tried- The sound of this woman's accent sent his mind tripping back to his and Juliet's rescue of Daniel. The young blonde girl they'd disarmed. His eyebrows furrowed as he let out a sigh as the recognition finally sank in.

_"Are they from the future too?"_

_"You told her?"_

Richard stepped forward to walk along side Sawyer.

"James, you yourself told me about John Locke and that you and your people were waiting for him return." 

Sawyer swallowed hard. That was true. 

"I can tell you that I have visited him a few times, over the years, as he requested.  But, unfortunately I haven't found anything that would indicate him to be "special". I am sorry but I don't think he will be _coming back_."

Juliet followed along silently as she listened. She was beginning to feel as though this trip was doing nothing but help the Others.  Sawyer sighed and shot Juliet a gentle look. She returned his expression softly thanking him with a slow blink.

  
"Well, don't count "Mr. Clean" out just yet, Hoss. I ain't" 

They walked in silence for a bit as the jungle transformed to forest and they seemed to be reaching the clearing that Eloise had mentioned. Sawyer was glad because their conversation had taken a turn away from it's original intention and he was ready to go.

Eloise paused at the tree line and turned to Juliet and Sawyer.

"You know...I wouldn't have believed you... except... your friend "Daniel"? The one who left the island? He was the very same man that told me you came from 50 years in the future-20 years ago. One might write off that type of comment off as crazy- but only moments later you three disappeared before my very eyes. And now, here you are again, unchanged in 1974. The question begs yet again... What are you doing on our island?"

She wasn't angry- merely inquisitively attempting some sort of closure. Juliet was very quiet as she stared at Richard, her eyes an intense grayish blue. Sawyer knew what she was thinking. He knew she probably wanted to plead with Richard not to find her. To never bring her here. Juliet's fingers were beginning to subconsciously fidget with the shoulder strap that was hanging from her backpack. Sawyer reached over and touched her hand, bringing her mind back to the present before replying to Eloise. 

"I wish I knew darlin'. I'm sorry we ain't got yer answers- seems we're stuck here for now and unfortunately - just along for the ride." 

Eloise watched the two of them for a few moments then nodded- she seemed to believe him.

"If you head north from here. You will see your "Pearl" station. If you don't mind, I'll hang on to your map. There seems to be a few things marked here that don't yet exist- I think it's only fair that I keep it safe, for _future_ reference."

Sawyer closed his eyes clearly disappointed at himself - trying to recall how many of the stations that he'd marked on his map that hadn't been built yet. 

Richard turned to Juliet.

"If there is anything I can do, please let me know. We are all on this island together and I have feeling that you _are_ here for a reason, just as I am."

Juliet smiled weakly as Sawyer gestured her forward into the clearing.

"You ready, Nancy Drew?"

Juliet turned back to Richard and Eloise and nodded.

  
"Yeh, let's go home."


	24. Chapter 24

Sawyer and Juliet crossed the clearing before looking back, Both Richard and Eloise were gone.

"How's he do that?!" Sawyer said referring to Richard's constantly disappearing before a second glance.  They entered the trees and as soon as they were out of sight, Juliet stopped and crouched down opening their backpack- handing the box of bullets for the rifle to Sawyer as she put her hand out - silently asking for her handgun back. He pulled it from his belt and crouched down beside her.

"Hey...You okay?" He said directing his attention back to Juliet after noticing her hands were still shaking slightly.

Her eyes followed his and Juliet flexed her hands. "Yeh. You?"

Sawyer squinted rubbing his face lightly "Be better if I'da known how to drop a man like you did to those two back there. Lemme guess. Others 102?- Right after "Latin-Language of the Enlightened"? Sawyer said sarcastically.

Juliet arched a brow and let out a huff as she knelt up and pulled the bullets out of her pocket, ejecting the magazine from her handgun. She paused, correcting him. "No. Actually... "Miami YMCA: Women's Self Defense I and II" 

"Well now, ain't you just full of surprises."

.........

_"Surprise! I hope you like it. I want my amazing new wife to have only the best." Juliet uncovered her eyes and her mouth dropped open. She was already wearing a stunning new navy dress that Edmund had bought her._

_"Ed! It's beautiful." She smiled widely as she moved around to the front of a brand new silver luxury car._

_"It has everything, all the upgrades- just like you." Ed said grinning wolfishly as he stepped up beside Juliet and wrapped his arms around her waist. Juliet blushed._

_"Look Jules, I know Rachel wasn't happy that you agreed to elope with me-but I need you to know you are the center of my world. You deserve all of my attention. Is it selfish of me to not be able to live without you?"_

_Juliet looked into his eyes and and leaned in to lightly kiss his lips, thanking him for the flattery before glancing back at the car and shaking her head._

_"No. It's not selfish. You're brilliant man. A few months ago we were both single at a research seminar and I was barely out of grad school. Rachel's just being a protective big sister- she'll be okay." Juliet said sweetly trying to defend her sister and stroke Edmund's ego at the same time._

_"With your Genius Mind and my "Executive Know How" we will rule the world together, my dear." Ed said as he escorted Juliet to the passenger side, his hand resting firmly against the back of her neck as and opened the door for her._

_"But first- dinner. I've made a reservation at only one of the finest Italian restaurants in Miami. II Gabbiano."_

_Juliet's cheeks hurt she was so happy._

_........._

 

Juliet's eyes glazed over. Her was face flushed. Sawyer loaded his rifle then noticed Juliet hadn't moved- she was just sitting there with a handful of bullets, an empty magazine and a handgun resting across her lap. This is the look that Miles was afraid of. The silent Juliet. Sawyer made a face of concern then reached over and slowly took the items from her as her eyes dragged over to watch.

He loaded the magazine and shoved it into the pistol, the snapping sound seemed to pull her back to the present. Her eyes met his and she smiled politely. Sawyer dropped a hand to her thigh. He could feel something wasn't right but didn't wanna talk about it now. They needed to get moving. 

"Dunno bout you but that whole thing seemed way too easy to me." Sawyer voiced while dramatically gesturing towards where they'd just come from effectively getting back on task- he glanced back once more with unease as he passed the pistol back to Juliet.  

"Do you think they're telling the truth?... About the smoke?... About John?" Juliet asked as she looked in the backpack- to take inventory of what they had left before zipping it closed. 

  
"I dunno.  Richard ain't known to lie but the blonde was clearly runnin' the show. Thinkin' we should probably find a new way home since I don't feel like runnin' into anymore fists today."

Juliet nodded in agreement- "If we cut west and go through the gap near The Staff we can head up along the beach then cross over...It will take us a little longer but.... What?" Sawyer sat there smiling widely at Juliet as she spoke.

"Sure am glad I brought my compass. Remind me to thank you more appropriately after we get the hell outta here."

Juliet let out a slightly embarrassed breath as they stood and made their way deeper into the trees before changing direction. 

After they changed course- they walked for a little over an hour in silence. Partly because they didn't want to attract any attention to their new direction and partly because both of them had been processing the encounter. It was already moving into late afternoon and they had slowed considerably. They'd barely eaten anything sans a few granola bars since they left the house. Juliet knew that James had to be feeling weak, because she was- at the same time neither of them were content to stop moving. 

Juliet was thinking about what Richard had said about the smoke- about it using their fears to make them do things. She also remembered Bill saying something along that same line. Why was Bill seemingly so much worse than her and James? Clearly he had lost it the other night. The closer they got to the barracks the more tight Juliet's chest was getting. 

She finally turned to look over her shoulder and was pretty sure she caught James staring at her ass as he looked up and tipped his head, quickly flashing his dimples. She paused awkwardly then shook her head. _Yep. he was._

 _"_ What?" Sawyer shot at her innocently as Juliet dropped back along side him. Sawyer subtly shifted his hand and slid the backpack off her shoulder to carry it for awhile. Juliet smiled thankful for the lighter load as he passed her the rifle instead.

 "What do you think about the what they said... about the black smoke? Your dreams? Richard said The Man in Black is able to manipulate, to change into people that have died. That those people are the deceivers. Is that happening to you? " Juliet's eyes shifted to him as her voice pitched lightly. Sawyer frowned and considered the question.

"No, not yet it ain't. You?" He replied, directing the question back to her.

Juliet shook her head _"no"_ then sighed

 _"_ I don't think so, but then again I'm not a sleepwalker, James. Maybe it is and I just don't remember it."

"But yer dreams-yer nightmares? so far it's all memories? Like mine? Memories of things that already happened?"

  
"Yeh. It just doesn't make sense."

"Right? So-If "Smokey" is tryin' to use us against each other why do my dreams not happen when yer around? We know dead people, hell- my parent's are dead and it.. he ain't usin' them to tell me nothin'."

Juliet gave him a sympathetic look. She nodded apologetically at the reference to his parents. She knew it was hard for him to talk about.

"Maybe... it's because we don't technically... _know_ any dead people yet that can be used against us? I mean- in 1974- they're all still alive. Right?" Juliet theorized as she started walking again.

"True maybe that's it- it ain't got no ammo. But what about Billy Boy? He ain't in our situation, explain him."

Juliet deadpanned.  "I can't- but we should keep a closer eye on him."

"Uh huh" Sawyer said suspiciously noticing Juliet redirect her attention to the ground. 

"We need to stop to refill the water soon." Juliet said idly.

Juliet paused like she wanted to say something but decided against it and was back to business as Sawyer watched her flip the conversation off. He definitely needed to reread the guys file now that he had some insights about the smoke. So far the guy seemed to be the most unstable and he didn't know how to tell Juliet without seeming like a jealous boyfriend but he didn't want her anywhere near the asshole. 

It was dripping hot when they finally made their way out of the trees onto the beach. The breeze was inviting. They had stopped by a small creek and refilled their canteen before stepping out into the sand on the west alcove of the island.

"Oh, good. We're probably only about another hour and a half from the barracks." Juliet said looking around at their location before reaching into the bag attached to Sawyer and and pulling out two apples- handing one to Sawyer. He wiped it on his shirt then pausing to allow Juliet zip the bag closed. 

"Yeh-  Best to get back before Enos has a heart attack. At least that means we're still on schedule since we didn't have to go all the way across the island to find "the friendlies"." Sawyer commented sarcastically, clearly still unnerved by how nicely Eloise and Richard had treated them. It was suspicious to say the least. He knew these people and a tiger don't change it's stripes. 

Juliet nodded as her blue eyes stared at the ocean, reflecting it's color perfectly. She turned to him with a smile then nodded as she started up the beach.

"Hey? By the way, I'm proud of you. For not asking Richard to... not bring you here - you know, in the future."

Juliet closed her eyes and let out a sarcastic huff - before attempting to move further ahead of him. Her face scrunched sadly, she wasn't quite ready to accept that part of the day. Sawyer reached out halting her.She turned back to him slowly,

"Woah, hang on now..."

Her eyes locked on the buttons of his shirt. She nodded as her chest and throat tightened. Her fingers twitching as she moved to cross her arms protectively around herself.

"If I never come here... Rachel dies and Julian... never existed. I know... the price and...Uh, I..."  
Sawyer pulled her into a hug before she could finish. She closed her eyes and let her arms wrap around him. 

"I know. I know. Locke. He's comin' back. He is." Sawyer whispered softly into Juliet's hair. Sawyer closed his eyes tightly hoping that he was right. 

Juliet pulled back and wiped the teary spot on Sawyer's shirt with an apologetic smile  before using her arm to wipe her eyes. 

"It's okay, I'm okay." Juliet said- shaking out the emotions. 

"Ya ready?" Sawyer asked as he let go of her upper arms and he and Juliet started walking as he bit into his apple. 

They turned north and headed up the beach- a few awkward silent moments passed before Sawyer gave a frustrated sigh.

  
"Ok, I have a dumb idea. Since we got a little time to kill and I don't feel like thinkin' about the fact that I gave the enemy my map- Why don't you tell me something I don't know about you."

Sawyer's mind darted back to a night the beach with Kate when they'd played "I Never." with Jack's liquor cart. He shook it from his mind quickly. _There ain't no alcohol and Juliet ain't Kate. It ain't a game_. He told himself. At the same time he was hoping to get Juliet to open up and this seemed the most casual way to approach her. 

"I'll start. I hate blackberries."

Juliet looked over at him with an amused smile, knowing he was trying to lighten the mood. She arched a brow at him.

"Blackberries?"

"Yeh, they look like little tiny eyeballs. You never thought they seemed like they were watching you? And the seeds." Sawyer said shivering his shoulders in disgust.

Juliet laughed out loud and Sawyer smiled widely at her. _That's the stuff!_

"I used to love classical music." She said blinking sweetly, as though she were listening to it at that moment.

"Used to?" Sawyer repeated and Juliet nodded- still smiling.

"When I came here, Ben... I guess the music started to sound different. The story changed. I changed. But I did love it."

Sawyer nodded. "That's fair - alright. Now me... Hmmm... I once got arrested for public indecency."

  
"Really? Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"Hey C'mon now I'm sharin' here!"

"Sorry- How did you manage that?" She said waiting for the story with interest. 

"Bar was closin'-I had to go, so I went. Just so happens one of the vehicles my drunken ass chose to pee next to belonged to an Officer Martinez." 

"Nice." Juliet commented.

She glanced at James with a weak smile as he adjusted his pack...

"Carlson"

"No. Martinez... It was the name of.."

"That was my maiden name. Carlson." Juliet continued. Sawyer stopped walking, he was truly surprised. 

"Well now-Game over. You win. Ya got me. Huh...You're married?"

Juliet arched an eyebrow at his shock. "I was~. Divorced." She clarified with a tiny nod. Juliet looked at him waiting for some sort of wise-ass remark and when Sawyer didn't say anything she furrowed her brow.

"Are you okay?" She tested.

"No, and yeh. I guess that's somethin' people normally learn 'bout each other on a first date.  We ain't exactly followin' the standard rules of relationship etiquette here."

Juliet let out a laugh then sighed, almost like it was a relief to have finally said something about Edmund- even if she didn't, really.

"Why keep yer married name? If ya don't mind me askin' _Mrs_. Burke" Sawyer asked figuring he wasn't going be able to bring this up again anytime soon. _Nothing better than talking about yer ex with yer current S.O.._

Juliet corrected him casually.

" _Dr_. Burke. I had published medical research under my married name, it's fairly common to keep it for professional reasons.  And- I never had the chance to change it back..." Her voice fizzled out as she pulled the canteen from the side of the pack and took a long drink.

Sawyer's smile faded as Juliet shut down but he was definitely glad she had told him. His mind was a buzz with wonder. How anyone could let her go was mind boggling to him, before he could inquire further- Juliet expertly changed the topic. _Damn she's good at that._

"We need to head east. If we overshoot, we'll have to backtrack and we won't have time before it gets dark."

"Lead the way Pocahontas." Sawyer said finishing up his apple and tossing it into the grass.

............

The barracks had finally come into sight as the sun began to set. Sawyer and Juliet skirted the pylons around to the lake where they'd stashed their walkie. Sawyer flipped it on, turning it to channel 8-

_"Miles? You there?"_

Juliet looked at the walkie in concern. "Maybe we're early?"

"Naw-shift started like 20 minutes ago- I'm suppose to be there."

  
_"Hey, Enos. pick up"_

The radio crackled. 

 _"Sawyer?"_ Jin's voice started to say before a screeching sound made Sawyer pull the walkie away cringing as Miles's voice took over.

_"LaFleur? Jeezus- Where the hell you been? You good? I mean, everything's okay?"_

"Keep yer panties on - we're fine. I'll tell ya all about it when we get in. We're at the fence. Same camera as before."

_"Yeh Alright. I'm on it. See you two in a few minutes."_

_..........._

 

Sawyer and Juliet stopped at the security station and spent the next hour going over the events of the day. Mostly it was Sawyer recounting his side of the story with a few details pinned in by Juliet. Everyone was calm and discussed their theories. By the time Juliet was ready to leave her head was pounding.  Sawyer walked back with her and took a quick shower before heading back to the security station. Juliet sent leftovers from the night before with him for himself and the guys. As soon as the door closed - Juliet felt an overwhelming feeling of silence. She took a shower and moved to the couch- picking up the book Miles had given her- then set it back down. She cleaned up the kitchen and started a load of laundry. She couldn't deny she was a little nervous about spending her first night alone since she was taken.  Juliet found herself looking blankly around her living room -not knowing what to do with herself. 

Just then the phone rang. Juliet jumped then laughed at herself as she moved to answer it.

"Hey-Amy~ Yeh, I'm fine. They are... It is... Oh, I don't want to impose... Really? That sounds perfect... Okay. Thank you... I'll be over in 10 minutes."

Juliet hung up almost certain that Miles or James had called Amy to check on her as she grabbed a bottle of wine and headed out the door. She smiled at the thought because it was actually exactly what she needed after today. A girl's night. 

 

 

 

 

 


	25. Chapter 25

"Well you definitely smell better" Miles said as Sawyer came down the steps to the security building.

"Yeh, thanks Enos. " He held up the leftovers and then set them on the counter by the coffee maker before moving to set Juliet's pistol and the rifle down on the main table- along with her work keys to the Motor Pool. 

"Remind me later to return this stuff so it ain't still missin' tomorrow wouldja?"

"Sweet! Is that Juliet's soup? I mention lately that she likes me?" 

Jin gave a smile and a nod of approval at the food- as he looked up from the security stations grid map.

"How's the English coming along Jin-bo?" 

Jin glanced at Sawyer as his face crunched a bit questioningly. 

"Amy told Juliet- you been sittin' in on grammar classes a few days a week at the school."

Jin lowered his eyes.

"Ain't nothin' to be ashamed of man. I been here my whole life and I still ain't got English figured out. Only other piece a language I know revolves around gettin' a beer an findin' the toilet in Spanish."

"Nice." Miles said rolling his eyes at Sawyer.

"English is much inflection base... different to Korean. Writing is not bad- I am familiar with... Latin letters, but verb tense and order is... not same. 

"Well, good fer you Kemosabe."

Sawyer moved to grab himself a cup of coffee,  swung by the stack of files and pulled Bill's off the shelf- dropping into his seat as Miles shot him

an exaggerated look.

"Still goin' on about that guy huh?" Miles teased. 

"What? Feel free to do some light reading of yer own and help a man out." He flipped through the pages until his eye stopped on a government form. _DDT 214 :9th Medical Battalion (9th Infantry Division)_ _18 August 1969 - Vietnam._

"Well, I'll be damned. EMT my ass- Billy boy was an army medic."

"Really? Damn. Go figure- that explains the funny looks he was giving us." Miles said looking to Jin as he moved to glance over Sawyer's shoulder. 

"What the hell are you talking about?" Sawyer spat.

"Just sayin' maybe a couple of Asian dudes yelling at him while he was sleepwalking probably isn't the best way to wake up, under his circumstances. Maybe that's why he went so crazy the other night. Hell, even you thought I knew Korean when you met me." Miles continued.

"It make sense" Jin interjected agreeing with Miles.

"Well, yeh! but...Tha's just great, you two yahoos really think that's what this is all about? Ain't you been listenin' to what we said. It ain't about rice cakes vs American pies- it's about the damn night terrors. He's clearly havin' em." 

"Right. Then I guess we better keep a closer eye on him. Ya know, from a distance." Miles stated seriously.

..........

Juliet held the wine bottle under her arm as she twisted two thin pieces of hair back and tied them together leaving the majority of her blonde waves down which were still partly damp from her shower. She was wearing her usual jeans and plain  scoop neck T-shirt combination. She looked back over her shoulder as she knocked on Amy's door. She had a strange feeling someone was watching her. Amy smiled widely and Juliet followed her inside moving into the kitchen. She handed the bottle of wine to Amy then took her usual seat at the kitchen table. 

"Thanks! This might sound weird but I kinda miss our chats." Amy said as she opened the wine and filled a glass for herself and one for Juliet."

"Yeh- me too Amy. It's really nice to have another woman to talk to."

"I know! and lately everything's been so busy and chaotic.  With the hostiles, the new recruits, Jim moving in with you, me starting to date Horace. It's almost the holidays already. It's just insane to think that in a couple of months it'll be 1975."

 Juliet shook her head in disbelief laughing lightly  as she sipped her wine _"You have no idea"_

Amy paused and gave her an inquisitive girly look sucking in a breath and rolling her shoulders up tightly.

"So... You and Jim? Things are going well I take it?"

Juliet blushed, nodding in embarrassment "We're getting there. As it turns out we both have some issues we're working through. Okay- it's more me." Juliet said with an honest smile as she played with her earlobe. Amy relaxed her posture and held up her glass for Juliet to toast her statement. Juliet laughed and clinked her glass against Amy's as Amy spoke

"Yes. Cheers to us! I can understand that... I mean, Horace has been great but I still have this strong sense of... guilt over Paul, you know?  We're just taking it slow. Do you think your issues are because of Goodwin?" Juliet paused smiling softly and shook her head. She'd almost forgotten she'd told Amy about him, she was surprised Amy remembered his name.

"No- Goodwin was actually probably very instrumental in helping move me forward. He was a good person. We just had the wrong timing... and then he was gone." Juliet took another drink passing the conversation back to Amy.

"So- there _was_ someone else? Before him?" Amy inquired curiously.

Juliet's fingers traced the base of her wine glass, a nervous habit of hers. She'd been spending a lot of time thinking about Edmund lately. She'd never really sat down and analyzed that phase in her life out loud. Even with Rachel- she didn't have the heart to tell her the whole truth most of the time. Here on the island, there'd always been something to distract her, keeping her at arms length from it. 

"Yeh... There was..." _Had it had been almost 4 years ago already?_

"It was back when I was a brilliant and equally awkward professional book-worm. He was... Well... He was... uh..." Juliet voice faded to a whisper and she couldn't find the right word. _Self-involved, controlling and an abusive narcissist._

Amy's face drained of emotion as she started to connect some of the puzzle pieces of Juliet's personality- her timid mannerisms and random ruminations. Juliet's body language was clearly giving her away. 

.........

  
_"Seriously Juliet, read this. Rachel said plopping Juliet into her computer chair and spinning her to a website titled "How Abusive Narcissists Get Inside Your Head"_

_Juliet sighed and looked at Rachel with a standard "Are you really going to make me read this?" face. Rachel gestured stubbornly at the screen._

_"*The idealization phase: consists of putting you on a pedestal, making you the center of his/her world, being in constant contact with you, showering you with flattery and praise._

_*The devaluation phase is subsequent to this idealization phase, The narcissist will suddenly start to blow hot and cold, criticizing you, covertly and overtly putting you down, comparing you to others, emotionally withdrawing or giving you the silent treatment when you’ve failed to meet their “standards.”_

_*The discard phase, the narcissist abandons his or her victim in the most horrific, demeaning way possible to convince the victim that he or she is worthless. This could range from: leaving the victim for another lover, humiliating the victim in public, being physically aggressive and a whole range of other degrading behaviors._

_-The manipulative, conniving charm that existed in the beginning is no more – instead, it is replaced by the genuine contempt that the narcissist felt for you all along."_

 

_Juliet hadn't realized she was holding her breath or that tears were falling from her eyes until Rachel reached over and captured the mouse from her hovering, shaking hand- minimizing the webpage._

_"I'm so sorry Juliet"_

 

......

 "I'm sorry..." Amy finally said when she realized Juliet wasn't going to finish her sentence.

"If you ever want to talk about it... It might help and I'm here-right across the yard- pretty much- whenever" Amy tried before reaching a hand out to touch Juliet's. Amy's eyes froze on the bruised flesh that had formed on Juliet's wrist from Bill the previous night. She hadn't even seen it herself until now. Her eyes met Amy's and she was suddenly embarrassed. Her face flushed as she tried to play it off. She had no idea how long she had been sitting there speechlessly. She let out a huff.

"Clumsy." Juliet said simply, implying she'd done it to herself accidentally. Amy gave a skeptical nod.

" I'm sorry, Uh... It's been a really long day." Juliet continued

Amy looked at Juliet sensing her discomfort- she got up and opened the fridge "Cheese? I hear it goes great with wine."

"Sure" Juliet said blankly.

As Amy turned back she stopped and sighed.

"Well, since I've already ruined the evening I guess should tell another reason invited you over. Bill stopped by this afternoon at the school house. He was asking about you... again. I swear he's only nice to me so I'll talk to him about you."

Juliet's face dropped with a strong look of anxiety. A sketchy breath fell from her open mouth.

"Wha-How long has he been...?"

"Pleasssse. Don't be mad- I didn't say anything, and I didn't tell you the first few times because he seemed so casual, but since you guys all came back he's been more... I don't know... I think his crush is a little borderline, If you know what I mean."

Juliet didn't say a word. Her eyes darted around landing on the clock. The Motor Pool would be closing in a few minutes. She tapped her fingers on the table briefly then tipped her wine glass- drinking the rest of the glass. Amy's eyes went wide.

  
"Uhm, wow. You okay? I upset you- I'm sure... it's nothing.  Juliet?."

Juliet put her fingers to her lips as the alcohol burned down her throat and let out a harsh breath. She was going to need all the liquid courage she could get. Juliet used a soft calming tone as she silently pushed her chair back and stood up. 

"I need to go. There's something I have to do. I am so sorry, Amy. Can we try this again later this week? Please?"

Amy's face looked panicked and Juliet took a step in and half-hugged her- Amy still holding the cheese plate as she nodded.

"Okay... Juliet?"  
Juliet moved to the door and stopped giving Amy a compassionate glance- she knew she was leaving Amy feeling guilty over having told her.

"I'm fine...Really. Don't worry."

  
"Why do I have the feeling Jim is going to kill me?"

Juliet  looked back to her with a weak smile before slipping out into the dark. 

..........

Juliet's long stride took her to the Motor Pool. She had no idea what she was going to say yet. She pulled the door open and Kevin immediately rolled out from under a bus. 

"Hey-o Juliet. Wha's up? Didn't get your daily dose of exhaust today?" He said greeting her with a snarky smile.

Juliet let out an amused humming sound as she tipped her head to look down at him with a smile as her hands moved to her hips. She was glancing around as she greeted him.

"Hi Kevin. Just you here?"

  
"Yeah, but I'm finishin' up. Bill left about a half hour ago.  Whatcha need?"

Juliet paused- she clearly hadn't planned any of this. The wine was doing it's job though because she felt the lie roll right off her tongue. 

"I...forgot my second jumpsuit. In my locker. I'm working on laundry tonight and realized I left it... here. yesterday." _Not an entire lie._  
Ahh, cool well- if you're bored later - it turns out- Jerry, from security has this buddy, Sam something, that's got a hook up on the sub. He stashed some fine Hippi Letace...ya know?... Weeeeed? -You want in? Gunna be twitchin'."

Juliet let out a laugh, Kevin certainly was consistently entertaining. She paused briefly as she recognized the record playing over the intercom.

"Not tonight, but thank you- maybe another time. Didn't realize you were an Elton John fan." She said to Kevin as she opened her locker and reaching down to grab her fallen jumpsuit off it's floor.

"Alright Alright. What? Oh yeh- I'm not. Bill's had that crazy album playin' all afternoon- be thankful you missed it" Kevin said as he wiped his hands and started packing up his tools.

"Really?"

Juliet said freezing briefly before arching an eyebrow as her hand flinched recoiling out of her locker suddenly _"Ow!"_ She looked at the tip of her finger which had started bleeding. She sucked the blood off her finger as the truth sunk in. Her eyes glazed over as she pulled the jumpsuit out and found herself staring at a single red rose. She checked over her shoulder before bundling it in with her clothes. 

"Have a good night Kevin." she called coolly to Kevin who'd gone into the office before furrowing her brow and heading out the door.

"Peace Juliet." He said sticking his two fingers out the office door to her.

........

"LaFleur... Hey- LaFleur" Miles shook Sawyer's arm. He'd fallen asleep at the security camera counter.

"Dude yer in the way- go take a nap in the holding cell or something- I can keep an eye on this. Nothing's happening anyways."

"What time is it?"

"10." Jin replied. 

"Only 10?! Jeezus"

Sawyer stood up and stretched his legs then looked around. He groaned and then moved to the holding room, grabbing onto a cell bar before swinging himself around and dropping onto the metal bed frame. Jin moved to the doorway. 

"So- today?"

"Yeh? What is it man? I'll be honest- you been lookin' at me weird for two days now. It's startin' to freak me out."

"Juliet? She talk to you? About Bill?"

  
Sawyer's expression quickly turned into a frown over the use of Bill's name.

"You mean bout his dreams? She mentioned it. Yeh."

  
"Nothing else?" Jin said questioningly.

"You got somethin' to add Bruce Lee? Let's hear it." Sawyer shifted dropping his elbows on his knees as he leaned forward, watching Jin. 

"Yesterday, I went to get Juliet. I open door and see... I can't be sure but I see him, Bill,  holding Juliet against the counter until he hear me- there was a stool- lying on the floor."

Sawyer tipped his head his expression pinched in anger. 

 _"Tripped over a stool at work. Fell back and hit the counter."_ Juliet's words echoed  back to him.

"What? What were they doin? Why the hell didn't anyone tell me?!"

"Juliet say nothing- ask me to let her talk to you." Jin replied.

"I thought maybe she talk to you out in jungle. I am sorry. I don't mean to make fight, it's just..."

"Why wouldn't she... _tell me"_

"She is maybe afraid?" Jin said as Sawyer stood up

"All the more reason she shoulda told me!" He stormed past Jin as Miles spun around in his chair. Sawyer was rifling through a nearby filing cabinet.

"Fastest nap on the planet.  What? What I miss? What. are. you. looking for LaFleur?"

Sawyer held up a piece of paper and growled. "I'll be right back."

Sawyer bounded up the stairs letting the door slam behind him.

"Igeon Johji anh-ayo. This is bad." Jin said quietly in Korean then translated himself into English as Miles stared at him.

"Maybe it is Sawyer that she is afraid of." Jin continued sighing and rubbing his hand to his temple- as Miles stood up and gave him a more pronounced " _Hello? Care to let me know what the hell is goin on?_ " face

 

 

 


	26. Chapter 26

_"I'm Sorry"_  
That was the message attached to the rose. Juliet opened her door and ripped the paper off the flower before throwing it on the kitchen table. She threw her clothes at the couch. Her mind was reeling as her fingers laced through her hair. There wasn't anything left to do. Juliet let out a frustrated yell and moved back to the kitchen to swipe the table harshly sending the rose skating across the linoleum. She paced the living room again then stopped at the record player, pulling off the Elton John record and throwing it at the wall. She stared at the mark it made then looked around one last time before she swallowed hard and headed back out the door. 

.......

"Open up Cowboy." Sawyer pounded as he double checked the address on the paper in his grip before shoving it back into his pocket.

The door opened slightly and Bill stood there looking mildly surprised to see him. He pushed the screen door open and joined Sawyer on the porch. Clearly un-intimidated.

"She finally told you?" Bill said flatly.

Sawyer's face flashed with instant confusion then he proceeded to attempt to launch Bill into the side of his house. He was instantly aware of how strong Bill was. It turned into more of a shove and Bill backed up almost willingly. They seemed fairly equally matched both size and stature-wise. 

"You listen to me. If you threaten her? If you hurt her? and I find out about it. I'll kill you."

Bill's nose twitched as he relaxed - remaining pinned against the wall with Sawyer's forearm across his chest. He looked at the arm then at Sawyer calmly.

  
"She didn't tell you anything." he said his green eyes darkening with the slightest grin forming in the corner of his mouth.

"You better start talkin' Casanova."

"Sure why don't you give me a little breathing space and I'll consider it." Bill shot back. 

Sawyer huffed and released him. "Talk."

"What do you want to know LaFleur? That I know about her "scar" cus- she showed it to me? Or maybe you want to hear how she showed it to me. Did you know that she told me she's remembered some of what happened to her? Did she tell you I kissed her?"

Sawyer's nostrils were flaring as he soaked up every word his eyes locked on Bill's.

"She doesn't belong with you, you don't deserve her- and maybe she knows it."

Sawyer paced the front porch growling- his mind racing. 

He pointed a finger trying to come up with some sort of reply but was so angry at Juliet that no words came out. Bill stood his ground- flexing his fists -ready and waiting. Sawyer suddenly turned and propelled himself down the porch steps making a sharp turn away from the security station heading towards his house, her house. In the distance he heard Bill call out after him.

"Yeh, good talkin' to you too.  LaFleur!"

.......

Juliet had just gotten back from Amy's for the second time. She slipped off her shoes glancing at the rose lying at her feet- her body was numb.

She moved to the kitchen and started the teapot on the stove before turning to the bedroom to change. She was halfway down the hall when the she heard the screen door slam angrily against the house. She turned around as the front door opened and Sawyer stepped in- turning to close it loudly behind himself. His brow permanently furrowed. Juliet froze. She'd seen him mad before but this was different, it was personal. She swallowed and took two short tentative steps towards the living room, her heart pounding in her chest. Her fingers pressed nervously at her sides. Sawyer looked down at his feet- he had stepped on the rose that Juliet had thrown there earlier.

Juliet's eyes stared at the crushed flower until she felt Sawyer glaring at her, then her eyes rose to meet his. 

"There something you need to tell me? " he said in a slow, deep, booming tone.

Juliet's mouth dropped open as she blew a fearful breath out through her mouth. _He knew_. Her eyes glassed over. Sawyer's eyes in return had turned from dark blue to an intense gray almost instantly.

"He... Kissed me." Juliet said just above a whisper. Her eyebrows angled together as her hands moved nervously together and crossed defensively across her chest.

Sawyer nodded, his nostrils flared.

"Is that so? When?"

"Yesterday." She answered softly, the corner of her mouth twitching in honesty. She was holding her breath in short bursts.

Sawyer growled and took 3 long steps quickly thrusting himself into Juliet's personal space backing her against the wall.

"Were you gunna tell me? Cus I just spent the entire damn day out there with ya- watchin' yer back, gettin' my ass kicked- and it didn't occur to you that  _maybe_  it might be something worth mentionin'!?"

"James." She tried-her arms uncrossing as her fingers hovered near his chest trying not to touch him or look as afraid as she felt.

"Don't. you. dare. tell. me- "it's complicated", Juliet. It ain't complicated, not from where I stand. YOU shoulda told me!" The tone of voice was sending vibrations through her body- and Juliet could feel the air of his words hitting her against her cheek. He was so close she stopped breathing and looked past him submissively, her face red. _He was right_. Her words wouldn't come out. She made a tiny noise and took a small step to the side as he shifted back in front of her. Her eyes closed- her nostrils begged for air.

"I'm sorry." Her voice whispered.

"There's more ain't there? Bill was right?  About all of it?" Sawyer said cruelly, shaking his head as though he couldn't believe he'd been so naive. Just like with Kate- he was being made into the fool. The temporary relief but not the cure.  

The tea kettle began to whistle loudly. Sawyer's train of thought was interrupted and his eyes narrowed. Juliet was clearly frozen in fear in front of him and he didn't care. 

"Listen to me... Please." Juliet let out a pained breath, she could feel her throat closing completely as she looked into his eyes. She reached for him but he quickly stepped back and turned towards the kitchen. Juliet's shoulder's buckled as her hands moved out to her ribs. Tears welled in her eyes and her nose began to run involuntarily as her heart wretched.

"Please?! No-Uhuh I ain't got... There ain't nothin' you can say right now! NOTHIN!" Sawyer spat -He  picked up the tea kettle slamming it harshly into the sink, clearly agitated by it's sound. Juliet flinched as the whistling sound slowly died. His true emotions were masked in anger, it was all he knew. He turned and walked back to the door. Sawyer bent down and picked up the crushed rose before holding it up to her- tipping his head, his face locked in contempt. He spoke in a more detached tone as he moved further away from her.

"I thought you were the best thing that ever happened to me. What the hell was I thinkin?! Yer too good for me? Yer just like all the rest of em. Congratulations Sweetheart- you conned the conman."

He squinted at her then let the rose fall back to the floor, petals scattering like blood. His words went straight through her chest.  She stared at the ground then looked at him breathing heavily through her mouth.  Sawyer's face flashed with genuine hurt before he opened the door and walked out. Turning towards security, leaving the doors wide open. 

Sawyer lowered his head as he walked away. His chest tightened and he groaned tearfully as his breath too became ragged. He headed back the security station defeated.

 

Juliet slid down the wall and started hyperventilating. 

 

 _Juliet closed the door and slid her shoes off. S_ _he heard the T.V. on and padded to the living room where she found Edmund passed out in the armchair. A half empty bottle of Jack Daniels sat on the side table. She honestly hadn't expected him to be there, so she hadn't called or left a note. She'd gone out with Rachel for dinner assuming he would be at work late again._

_She leaned in to wake him, gently rubbing his shoulder._

_"Ed?"_

_He stirred slightly then opened his eyes, squinting at her through the darkened space in the light of the T.V.. Edmund_ _reached up slowly and pushed her hair back over her shoulder then planted his feet on the floor and leaned forward locking his fingers tightly around her throat._

_"Where were you?" Ed whispered in a jealous tone -sliding his second hand up to the same position on the other side of her neck._

_Juliet's expression drained as her hands flew up to dig her fingers under his so she could swallow. Her face instantly turned red as he pushed forward, bringing her to her knees. She tried to say his name but nothing came out. Her watery blue eyes stared into his pleadingly. His eyes twitched and he looked around briefly before his face straightened and he released her._

_Late Night with Jay Leno, was playing and Juliet could hear the laugh track through her ringing ears as she gasped for air. Ed stood up and stoically moved to the bedroom, closing the door._

 

The phone rang and Juliet's eyes darted up in it's direction. She looked around then pushed herself up. She picked up on the 3rd ring and didn't say anything.

 _"You okay?"_  

Juliet's body pitched painfully at the sound of Bill's voice.

"What do you want... from me?" She said as her jaw locked, she was drained.

_"Everything."_

Juliet nodded and closed her eyes as she took the phone away from her ear and moved to hang it up. She could hear him say her name as she stared at the fallen petals near the door. Her breathing evened out and she hung up the phone.

It rang again and Juliet ignored it- moving to close the front door and lock it robotically. 

 

.........

 

Sawyer yanked the door open to the security building and loudly made his way down the stairs. Miles and Jin stood up and stared at him.

"Where's Juliet?" Jin questioned.

"Probably at home where I left her." Sawyer snapped as he rolled his neck, trying to release the tension, his face was still red with anger.

"Uh, okay? So you went to talk to her? What'd she say?" Miles said, a little surprised that he was having to ask.

"Nothin!  I don't wanna talk about it. You get me?"

Jin sighed. "Not good."

Sawyer huffed then dropped into a chair.

"No shit Sherlock- She coulda at least told me! I mean I did just move in with the woman for cryin' out loud."

  
"I'm sorry? What the hell are you talkin' about LaFleur?! What happened?!" Miles spat- like he was insulted by how he was talking about Juliet.

"What I ain't the last to know? Billy Boy made a move on her and she didn't tell me. She made me ask- then had absolutely nothin' to say about it."

"Juliet?... had nothin' to say? Bzzzt, there's a big shocker. The woman we all know doesn't trust anyone and generally _can't_ say anything when she's upset, unless she's drunk. That Juliet?"

Sawyer furrowed his eyebrow in thought. He was so mad he'd forgotten he wasn't dealing with Kate.

"Yeh." 

"So, she kissed Bill?" Miles inquired trying to get the details.

"That ain't what I said. He... kissed her, yesterday and I just spent all day with her conversatin' with the damn enemy and she didn't say an everlovin' thing."

"Hmm..." Miles said shaking his head before stating the obvious.

"Do you think it had to do with the fact that maybe~she didn't want you going in there with _this_  attitude towards her. Cus you're being a complete ass right now."

"What the hell! You weren't there! Whose side are you on!?"

Jin answered quickly. "Juliet's" 

Both Miles and Sawyer stopped and looked at Jin questioningly. 

"Spit it out Thundercat. Yer the one who told me Bill was all pressed up against her at the Motor Pool last night."

"No, not what I say. Not friendly. You no listen. She look afraid."

"You didn't say that?!" 

  
"Yes, I did."

Miles shot Sawyer a look then narrowed his gaze. "So, you asked her and she tried to tell you what you wanted to know, but you didn't let her and _you_ treated her like "the enemy"?"

Sawyer groaned at Miles spitting his own words back at him from the night Juliet told them about her scar. 

"Sonofabitch-I ain't havin' this conversation with you two right now!" 

.......

It had been 2 hours and Sawyer hadn't said a word. Miles and Jin were playing a game of cards but neither of them were paying attention- suddenly Miles stood up and announced.

"I'm going over there" Jin looked at him in confusion.

"I'm going to Juliet's- and.. you're coming with me." Miles said to Jin- realizing that there was safety in numbers if Juliet got mad at them for interfering. Jin stood up and folded his cards.

"What the hell, it's the middle of the night, it ain't yer business Enos- she probably ain't even awake. 

"You started this LaFleur. Now it's our turn to find out the truth. You? Stay here! It's your turn." Miles said flatly as he moved to the door.

"Well ain't you just the overprotective big brother all the sudden." Sawyer spat.

Miles shot him an annoyed look as he opened the door and he and Jin slipped out into the night.

Miles stood in front of the door, clearly having second thoughts. Juliet had the porch light off and the house looked dark. He turned back to Jin

"Maybe she is asleep. We should go- he's right-it's none of our..." Jin arched an eyebrow at Miles while simultaneously knocking gently on Juliet's door.

"What the hell Jin!" Miles whispered slightly panicked.

The curtain moved instantly and they heard a shuffling sound before the door unlocked.

Both men stood there holding the screen door open as the front door opened. Juliet peered out and Miles opened his mouth to talk but closed it again unsure of how to start. Juliet glanced past them in uncertainty. Her eyes were glassy and red rimmed.

"Where's James?" she said delicately with unease.

Miles sighed and gave her a somber look. She nodded shakily.

Jin spoke next "You alright?"

Miles looked at him as Juliet nodded again and obediently opened the door wide enough for them to slip in. Jin moved quickly at the invitation and looked back at Miles to follow. He did.

Juliet turned and quietly locked the door behind them. The house was dark. Juliet was wearing a light t-shirt and pajama pants- her hair pulled back into a pony tail. 

Juliet folded her arms nervously and waited as Miles took a deep breath.

"Can we turn on a light or something?"

Juliet took a step towards the couch and leaned in stoically flipping on the living room lamp. Both men looked around a bit in shock as their eyes readjusted at the state of Juliet's normally tidy surroundings. There was a pile of clothes on the couch. There was a kitchen chair next to the door. There were rose petals at their feet and a broken record lying against wall. The phone cord had been angrily ripped from the outlet.

"Is there something... you need to tell us?" Jin said softly as he approached Juliet. Her eyes looked around for a few moments and then she nodded.

"I'll tell you everything." " _Everything"_ Bill's voice rang in the back of her mind.

"Anything you want to know." she finally breathed out tipping her head weakly- looking on the verge of tears.

Miles stood and stared at her in shock. He had never seen Juliet so broken before. He didn't even know it was possible.

Jin instantly nodded in approval. "Yes".

Juliet moved almost mechanically into the kitchen and began making coffee.

"You're going to want to sit down." She said

Miles and Jin shared a look of trepidation as they took seats in the living room. Juliet picked up the kitchen chair calmly and returned it to the table. She brought 2 cups of coffee - handing one to each of them before going back for her own and starting a new pot. She stood facing the sink for a moment then turned to them and spoke.

"I'm from Miami..." she started.

Over the next two and a half hours Juliet told her story. She remained detached and told it very factually as though she were a skilled lawyer pleading her case. She paused in thought quite a bit but didn't withhold information like she normally would. Her hands rattled involuntarily when she spoke about things that frightened her. Juleit had to stand and pace a few times to get her nerves out- but she continued.

Miles knew Jin wasn't getting all of what she was saying but it didn't matter- how she said it was just as intense.

She started with her research and her sister and worked her way through Edmund, Ben, Goodwin, Jack- and all the circumstances she never had a chance to verbalize. The last thing she talked about was Bill. The guys had said very little- afraid to interrupt and accidentally end her bravery. They were both in shock themselves a few times- ranging in emotion from anger to sympathy.  When Juliet finally stopped talking her voice was hoarse. She was beyond emotionally spent. Numb.

She sat across from them in silence for what seemed like forever. Jin finally stood up and came to rest in front of Juliet putting a hand out to touch her knee comfortingly.

"We will figure out how to fix." He nodded.

"I don't know what to say..." Miles started.

Juliet tipped her head at him. "It's okay, Miles- It's a lot. You have a right to know, the results effect you now too. I should've been more open so- please. Don't apologize."

"We have to tell LaFleur." Miles sat back suddenly panicked.

Juliet let out a pained sigh. "I think that ship has sailed for tonight..." She looked up at the clock. The night was gone.

"I will stay here today, for protection. This Bill- he is dangerous." Jin stated frankly gesturing at Juliet's couch.

Juliet nodded. "I'll talk to Horace again tomor.. today and see ... I don't know." Juliet stopped- her face contorting silently.

"LaFleur has his file maybe we can find something that can get him put on the next sub?"

" It's my word against his- I've been down this road before." Juliet responded.

Miles sighed. "Right. So for now - we set up a couch rotation and find a way to tell LaFleur without him going off half cocked. Piece of cake." Miles said sarcastically.

"I think life was easier when we didn't know anything about you." Miles said standing up and moving to Juliet- he put a hand out to offer her up.

"But... We're in this together so we'll do our best not to let you down." Juliet looked up at him-touched by his out of character sincerity, the corner of her mouth twitched as she grasped his hand. He noticed her bruised wrists as he gently pulled her up. Jin stood and moved out of the way-turning to clear the couch for himself.  Miles looked at Juliet then awkwardly pulled her in- holding her as she silently shook.

"He's gonna hate me." She whispered.

"It's gunna be ok" He said in his best brotherly fashion.

.............

Miles walked back into the house just as the sun was rising. He didn't feel like dealing with LaFleur anymore today. His mind was reeling with his new image of Juliet and the situation with Bill. With all he had learned about what she had been through to make her who she was he was awe struck. She was tougher than he could've imagined.

His thoughts shifted to himself when he was eleven- his mom had dated an abusive boyfriend for almost a year. He remembered being so mad when they picked up and moved in the middle of the night without so much as a goodbye. His mom didn't tell him about it until he was in his 20s. He'd really liked that guy and the whole thing had been one big lie. Miles found himself becoming very angry as he opened his door. Sawyer _was_ one lucky bastard and he had no idea. 

 

 


	27. Chapter 27

Sawyer ironically _hated_ that anger was his "go to- emotion".  Juliet kept him centered, she was the one person that was able to reign in his hostility with just a touch. His aggressiveness was a defense mechanism- it kept people from getting close enough to hurt him. This time however- it hadn't worked. Juliet already had his heart tightly gripped in her fist and he had made damn sure not to let her touch him this time. He had every right to be mad. She should've told him. 

The guys had been gone for over an hour and Sawyer was brewing his 2nd pot of coffee of the night. The longer Miles and Jin were away the more anxious Sawyer was getting. His self-doubt began to creep in. As he replayed his confrontation with Bill and Juliet he realized Jin was right -he hadn't listened to her. He believed Bill instantly but never gave Juliet a chance.

Sawyer sighed as he looked around the room. The knot in his throat growing as he tried to swallow it down. His eyes came to rest on the guns. He'd nearly forgotten, they needed to go back before morning. Sawyer growled - he couldn't leave until Jin and Miles came back. He slowly moved to the phone, his hand hovering over the receiver as he debated on making the call and what the hell he was gunna say when Juliet answered... He sighed and reluctantly dialed the house. He was rewarded with a steady monotone beeping sound, the line was _"busy"_.

 _"Great!"_  He thought sarcastically. She probably set it off the hook, thinking he might call. He was both upset and relieved at the same time.There was no way in hell he was going back over there right now even if it was the exact place he needed to be. 

He'd give them 30 minutes, he decided, as he dropped back down in his chair- staring mindlessly at the security footage of an empty Dharmaville.   

........

Sawyer checked the clock, stood up, collected the weapons and keys then headed up and out the door. 

As he crossed the dark courtyard away from the house- he found himself looking back over his shoulder more than once. The living room light was on- he could see the glow through the curtains. An odd feeling of guilt began to overtake him. He slipped into the Motor Pool and clicked on his flashlight -moving to the office to obediently return the guns. On the way out, he paused at the tool counter. His eyebrows furrowed and his mind imagined the scene unfolding between Bill and Juliet.

_He saw Bill's dark hair and broad shoulders step in and press against Juliet's torso. Her blue eyes blinked invitingly. Her smile passionate. Bill's fingers were running through her soft hair as his lips tasted hers. His lips moved to her throat and Sawyer heard Juliet whimper that gorgeous sound that made his body twitch as her hands moved to Bill's chest- he could almost feel her touch. Her knee tipped outwards as Bill's hand reached back pushing the stool out of his way knocking it carelessly to the floor before grasping Juliet's thigh and moving in to change the angle of his advances. She let out a delicate moan._

Sawyer shook his head angrily- blinking hard as his fingers ran back through his hair. He squinted as he looked back again:

_Sawyer watched Juliet heading towards the door, her expression troubled. Bill moved to block her path-an intense look on his face. Juliet's hands half-raised as she backed away, her head shook silently saying "Don't". Bill grinned shoving the stool to the floor as he lunged for her. Sawyer felt his strength as he pinned her against the tool counter. Jin's words echoed in his head "No, not friendly, she was afraid." Juliet tried to turn towards the office but Bill latched on her to waist and yanked her back to him. Pressing in as Juliet's hands attempted to push him off, in vain. Bill' moved over her harshly as he grasped and unzipped her jumpsuit, his hands moving unforgivably inside. Juliet tried to send a knee up into his groin but it was deflected and he thrust in even closer using his weight against her. He trapped her hands to her sides. "No!" Sawyer's stomach lurched._

He swung his flashlight frantically across the area but his vision was gone. A sense of panic sunk in. He could still hear her in his mind, struggling.  _"Juliet?"_   Suddenly he was being gassed into darkness-engulfed by a cloud of flashing black smoke. Sawyer yelled, tightening his fist and hammer striking the counter.

 

Sawyer's head jolted upright, his heart skipped a beat, his breath heaving.  He had fallen asleep -his body still partially bent forward, his head had been resting on his arms. He looked down to find his coffee mug on the floor - the cold dark liquid pooling at his feet among the broken ceramic pieces. Sawyer frowned and spun in his chair around. He realized quickly that he was still at work. It had felt so real. The guns were still laying behind him on the main table and Miles and Jin were still gone. He blew out a breath and stood up- walking over and tucking the pistol into his belt as he slung the rifle over his shoulder and grabbed Juliet's work keys. He didn't have much time to get them back- he couldn't be gone long.  As he crossed the dark lawn, _again._ Sawyer groaned and rolled his shoulders adjusting the rifle slung over his left. " _That was new"_ He growled to himself with a worried sarcasm. That definitely wasn't the same garden variety of reruns he had been dreaming. Things were evolving.

.........

"Good Morning Jim." Horace's voice greeted him as he stepped down the stairs, back into the security room. Sawyer sighed, silently thanking the Gods that he hadn't slept any longer or he would've had a lot more explaining to do.

"Mornin' Chief- What brings you out so early?"

"Well I thought I might talk to you... in private. Man to man. Before the others get in." Horace said leaning against the counter-his thumbs hooked on the pockets of his beige Dharma jumpsuit. 

  
The creases in Sawyer's forehead deepened curiously. "Alright, what's on yer mind, H.?"

"It's about Juliet..."

Sawyer's eyes glanced around before landing on his broken mug and spilled coffee- He moved to a cabinet and pulled out a roll of paper towels.

  
"Yeh? Then you might wanna ask Juliet. 'Case you hadn't heard,  she and I ain't exactly on the same page right now. If ya get my meanin'."

Horace frowned- He was clearly disappointed. He stepped aside, watching Sawyer haphazardly clean up the mess near his feet with a curious look.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do?"

Sawyer looked up at him with a sarcastic huff and shook his head. The man did have a certain socially awkward innocence about him. Some days the math nerd in Horace shined so brightly it pained Sawyer to witness it. 

"Naw-It'll be alright.  But, It's been a long night so if you got somethin' to ask me- then I'd appreciate ya gettin' to the point." He continued, looking back to Horace as he dumped the wet towels and mug into the trash bin.

"Oh -yes, right. Well- Jim,  Juliet put in for a transfer out of the Motor Pool yesterday. She gave the paperwork to Amy last night. Just seemed "out of character" for her to do something like that so suddenly. I was under the impression she was happy there."

Sawyer's face dropped all expression as he took a moment to lean against the counter next to Horace in thought. Horace glanced over then sighed as he casually strode to the coffee pot. He poured himself a cup before stuffing one hand  in his pocket and taking a sip. Horace's voice was calm and very parental, as he continued.

"Amy mentioned you and Juliet might have been working through some differences. She seemed concerned with Juliet's "behavior" last night. We all know relationships can be difficult Jim. Can't help but notice you also look a little worse for wear." Horace tapped his temple and Sawyer brought his finger up to the cut from their trip to the hostiles. Sawyer's face scowled as he understood what Horace was implying. 

"Woah-Hold on now Chief, I ain't never laid a hand on her. So you can stop right there! Whatever yer hintin' at, it ain't right. "

"Alright Jim, Understood. I had to ask. "Horace said put his hand up defensively.

"Amy also told me that Juliet was a little upset over a certain co-worker. - I thought you might have some insight on the situation?"

Sawyer dropped his head and groaned.  _She was tryin' to "fix it"._ She had to have gone to Amy before he stormed in and started yelling at her. _Damnitt._ Sawyer growled at himself as the realization blatantly hit him that things hadn't at gone as Bill said and that Juliet _was_ tryin' handle it on her own. His dream was a warning- He could feel it. The smoke was turning them against one another. Creating doubts. It was also showing him what he was afraid of- this _was_ his biggest fear loud and clear. It was being alone, without her.

His memory took him back to his and Juliet's conversation on the porch back after Bill had first hit on her. 

_"...I froze... I was angry and felt stupid for putting myself there- It seems to be a pattern of mine."_

_"... I'll see how things are... if need be, I can talk to Horace myself. "_

 

Sawyer closed his eyes, his head shaking slowly.

"I'll talk to her." 

"That'd be great Jim, because she is the best diagnostics mechanic we have over there and I'd sure hate to lose her. I'll hold off and send the request up to Radzinsky tomorrow. Juliet is off today so it shouldn't be a problem."

"Yeh, alright boss, thanks."

"Sure thing Jim."

 .........

The sun was finally up as Sawyer quietly let himself into Miles and Jin's. He had stood at Juliet's front door for 20 minutes before heading to the guys. He needed to decompress and figure out what to do next. Sawyer pulled the curtains closed and dropped onto the couch. Both the bedroom doors were shut. He stared at the ceiling listening to the wall clock _tick, tock, tick, tock_. The room smelled oddly familiar and much more masculine than he remembered it when he lived here.

Sawyer wanted Juliet to tell him what had happened and he knew she must have thought he couldn't handle it.  She was probably right but he also wasn't ready to give up. His chest tightened. He needed her. It was eating him up-he thought of the things from Bill's file that he had meant to tell her but didn't. He groaned as he considered the reasons she wouldn't tell him about Bill. Clearly he'd perfectly demonstrated all of them last night. He shook his head disappointingly at himself. He really thought he'd been good about keeping his temper in check. How had he not noticed things had gotten to this point? Sawyer's expression weakened, he felt like he'd failed somehow - he knew he needed to apologize but a  part of him was still upset about her not telling him.

Sawyer sat forward with a grunt then moved to the kitchen cupboard and pulled out a bottle of Dharma Whiskey. The first shot went down like fire as his mouth opened letting the angry fumes escape. The second shot was easier as he felt the heat rising through his ears.  He took another- his nostrils flared in protest, then another- until all of his feelings were drown out. He numbly poured a final glass and moved back to the couch. Sawyer sipped slowly as his eyes glazed over and he stared at a crack of light reflecting on the wall. The way she'd looked at him when before he'd walked away was burned into his mind. His lids grew heavy as the liquor finally took him- the almost empty glass rested precariously on his thigh between his now relaxed fingers.

 .......

Juliet lay on her side of the bed facing the closet. A soft white glow filled the room. She needed to sleep but she couldn't make herself close her eyes at the same time. It was already late morning and she honestly only came into her room after Miles left to give Jin a chance to get some rest on the couch. She should have sent him home. She wouldn't sleep today anyways.

 Juliet was emotionally spent over Bill. She couldn't help but feel that she was responsible for all of it, she should've gone to Horace sooner. The scope of Bill's recklessness wasn't even fully clear to her until last night. So many things fell into place. A shiver ran up her spine. Juliet was angry because she, of all people should've seen it coming, should've trusted her gut... It was over. None of it mattered now, Horace would reassign her and it would be just another "something that happened".

The only thing that did matter was the that the person she needed most was the one person she hadn't let in- and James hadn't come home after work this morning. Juliet couldn't help the tear that rolled over her nose and down her cheek to her pillow. She had no more energy to waste on expression but the tears still managed to find her. How could she let him think that she'd been using him? It couldn't have been further from the truth. Why didn't she follow him? Make him listen? In her mind she really thought she had been trying to protect him, herself... all of them. It was times like these that Juliet was reminded of who she really was- she wasn't the strong- independent woman that everyone assumed her to be. An overwhelming feeling of being alone strummed through her body familiarly reclaiming residency.

By mid afternoon, She began to hear Jin shuffling about. Juliet heard the phone ring. Her heart jumped as she tried to hear who it was. Not long after- there was a knock on the front door. Juliet thought about getting up but decided against it. Instead straining to listen, from her bed, to the hushed talking through her closed bedroom door. A third voice joined in and she was pretty sure it was Amy's. There was a soft tapping on Juliet's bedroom door before it cracked open. Amy poked her head in with a pinched look of concern. Juliet's eyes moved to her, but the rest of her body remained still.

"Hey- I heard about last night." She said softly as she moved in and closed the door.

Juliet's glance shifted back to the open closet.

Amy moved in and sat beside Juliet- resting a hand on her arm.

"Are you okay? You wanna talk? I guess James is asleep at the guys'- he's fine."

Juliet's eyes closed for a moment.

"Horace is concerned that maybe you don't really want to leave the Motor Pool and that maybe it's because of Bill.- I feel like I may have started this whole mess.."

"It wasn't you" Juliet whispered hoarsely as she slowly pushed herself upright crossing her legs under herself and tucked her hair behind her ears. Her eyes were still red rimmed and her head was pounding again.

"You should probably try talking to Jim. Now that things have calmed down a bit. I'm sure it's nothing that you two can't work out."

  
"I don't think he wants anything to do with me..." Juliet's nose flared and she stopped, pressing her fingers to her temple.

"Of course he does! The way he looks at you. It should be obvious. He loves you."

Juliet glanced at Amy- her eyes glassy.

"And... you love him." Amy said with a tender knowing smile. Juliet drew in a long breath and held it. Amy was right.  Her gaze moved around the room as she exhaled, her eyes coming to rest on the James's empty side of the bed.

"I...can't sleep. When he isn't here.  I'm just...so tired." She breathed, shaking her head.

"I heard... about your nightmares."

Juliet raised an eyebrow at Amy questioningly.

"James called me last night to check on you before I invited you over, he may have mentioned it. I had them too you know, after Paul. It's completely natural for us women to carry more anxiety after traumatic events. At least that's what I was told after mine. Could be a lie, but I'd still like to believe it's true."

Juliet huffed with a tiny smile knowing she was right about James asking Amy to call her.

"C'mon, I brought sandwiches" Amy said standing up and putting out her hand to Juliet. Juliet closed her eyes and sighed then took Amy's hand.

Amy lead the way out into the living room-smiling proudly as Juliet followed her.  Miles and Jin were eating lunch. 

"Hey" Miles said casually before nodding in thanks to Amy, presumably for getting Juliet out of bed. 

"Hey" Juliet replied her voice still scratchy as she moved to pour herself a coffee.

Amy excused herself politely- but not before setting down a bottle of pills on the counter and nodding at Juliet. Juliet eyed the bottle then shifted her attention to the guys. The three of them remained silent for a few awkward moments after Amy left. 

"About last night..." Juliet started before Jin put a hand up to halt her words. 

"Don't worry- Miles and I agree to let you talk to Sawyer when you are ready. When _he_ is ready." Jin said calmly.

Juliet closed her eyes gratefully.

"Thank-you" She breathed in a huge whisper of relief.

Miles nodded in between finishing the last bites of his lunch then said 

"So---we _all_ work again tonight and since none of us really worked at all last night..."  
Juliet nodded in understanding. 

"I know. I'll be okay- I'm just gunna try to get bed early anyhow."

"The phone is fixed- if you need to call for anything. Call. k? Otherwise we'll be watching from there." Miles instructed.

Juliet smiled sincerely as she sipped her coffee. "K"

There was a silence as the guys finished up their lunches and started clearing their dishes.

"How is he?... Did you see him?... This morning?" Juliet asked slowly.

"Uh- he was still passed out on the couch when I left. I'll go back and check on him after lunch. He seemed pretty low on sleep last night so I figured I'd leave him be."

Juliet gave Miles a nod.

"You have a plan today?" he said in return.

"You mean besides talk to James?" Juliet sighed flashing a quick smile then staring at the floor.

"Yeh...I need to stop by and talk to Horace, make sure everything is good on his end. "

......

 

The guys headed back to their place and Juliet got dressed. She stood in the bathroom and stared in the mirror as she twisted her hair into a sloppy bun. She frowned at her appearance then moved to the door to put her shoes on. The house was still in a mild state of disarray - Jin had folded his blankets and stacked his pillow but the rest was just as it had been the night before. Juliet's nose began to flare. She was tired of being the victim. She walked out the door intended to head for the security station to talk to Horace about her request to transfer. She turned instead for the Motor Pool. Now was a good a time as any to clean out her locker. 

 

 

 


	28. Chapter 28

Sawyer squinted as his eyes opened- Miles was at the kitchen table loudly shuffling through some paperwork he hadn't finished from the previous night- clearly waiting for Sawyer to wake up. Sawyer groaned irritably and sat forward. He had passed out upright, with his boots still on.  His back was now screaming in protest as he rolled his neck. He glanced down at the empty glass and the now dried spill of whiskey lying next to him on the couch with a frown. He could hear the shower running. 

"I know. I know..." Sawyer started.

Miles arched a brow at him. Sawyer sighed heavily and pushed himself up off the couch, returning his glass to the kitchen.

"I'm guessin' by the fact that ya didn't come back last night that yer mad at me now too?"

"She's not mad at you, you idiot. Though she should be. You did break her heart." Miles huffed. Sawyers brow furrowed.

"Yeh well, mine don't feel so great either. I ain't exactly known for being sensitive ." Sawyer attempted sarcastically but instead it just came off crass.

Miles shot him a look that said _"Really? That's the best you can say?"_

"Awe C'mon~ I admit it, alright?  I may- have- jumped to the wrong conclusion. Horace stopped by this mornin' told me bout her quittin' the Motor Pool- I know, I screwed up. So gimme a damn minute to think."

  
"That was this morning. You might consider talking to him again. A lot can happen when you're not around. Like say... if you drink nearly an entire bottle of whiskey and spend the day passed out when people are counting on you." Miles said disappointingly.

"Thank you~ "Capt. Guilt Trip" mission accomplished."

Miles continued to stare and Sawyer tipped his head and drug his fingers down his face then closed his eyes and nodded. 

"Yeh yeh, I'm goin' I'll see ya in a few hours." Sawyer pushed his hair back and huffed as he made his way to the door- anxiety hitting him like a spike through his chest.

"Hey!" Miles said as Sawyer opened the screen door. Sawyer looked back and Miles gave him a nod. He nodded back in thanks then headed out knowing Miles was silently trying to wish him luck.

 

 .......

 

Juliet walked into the Motor Pool through the open garage doors to the sounds of Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Free Bird".  Kevin leaned out from under the hood of a jeep and paused awkwardly at her as she came in. 

"Heyo-Afternoon Juliet~. Rough night huh?" Kevin said clearly noticing Juliet looked like hell. Juliet blinked at him with a soft smile. Her voice still weak "Yeh, you could say that. Turns out I should've gone with you after all."

Kevin let out a light laugh as Jesse poked his head out of the office. Juliet made her way over and opened her locker. She started piling her things on a nearby counter as Jesse stepped out and tentatively crossed to her.

"Uhm, Juliet? Horace cc..called- said y..you should talk to him- before you c.c.clear out yer stuff."

  
Juliet noticed Jesse's stutter was a bit more pronounced than usual and gave him a sympathetic look then sighed. She felt like she was abandoning Jesse- he was a sweet kid. Juliet smiled at him in a soothing manner.

"I don't see that it will make much difference. I'm so sorry Jesse- I know things were just getting back to normal. You'll be okay."

Just then Bill charged around the corner into the garage in a huff- He stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of Juliet- a furrowed look of contempt on his face. He swallowed and took 3 long strides to her. Jesse instinctively backed away as Bill assaulted Juliet's personal space. Juliet sucked in a breath, frozen. Kevin poked his head out from under a hood- confusion plastered on his face.

"We need to talk!" Bill growled, grasping Juliet's upper arm firmly and half dragging her into the office, knocking some of her things carelessly to the floor. Juliet let out an involuntary sound somewhere between a gasp and a whimper.

Juliet painfully yanked her arm free as Bill pushed her into the room and slammed the office door behind them- the blinds rattling closed against the glass window in a clatter. Juliet's eyebrows narrowed and the corner of her mouth twitched as she watched Bill lock the bolt on the door.

"What'd you tell them!?" Bill spat at her. His chest heaving.

"I don't know what you're talking about... Unlock the door." Juliet responded, crossing her arms across her chest and taking a tentative step towards him - he was solidly planted in her path. 

"They're pulling me out of the Motor Pool Juliet! I think I deserve to know what the hell you told them!"

Juliet's glance shot past Bill as Kevin tapped on the door and called her name, testing the knob. _"Juliet?"_

"I didn't tell them... anything. I didn't _ask_ them to transfer you. I asked them to transfer _me_. So-open the door, let me go... and I will talk to Horace." Juliet said attempting to sound calm.

"It's too late, they already gave me my new assignment. Is this because I kissed you? Or is it because LaFleur found out? You're mad because I told him the truth?" Bill shifted to lean on the desk using his body to block the door as and stared at her like he believed what he was saying. Her legs felt weak and her breathing began to hitch as she slid a hand lightly down against her hip, her fingers fidgeted nervously. Juliet's heart picked up it's pace- her jaw setting in anger as her nostrils begged for air. She could only take so much, and she had had enough.

  
"The truth?  I... don't know _what_ you told him- but it was  _not_  the truth! You want to know the truth? I don't want to have an-y-thing to do with you. You... You are a danger to ev-er-y-one around you! You've lost it, completely lost. it." Juliet's voice pitched as she locked eyes with his.  Bill rotated his body harshly pushing himself off the desk and quickly grabbing hold of Juliet's neck, with one hand, wrenching her close to him. Juliet's eyes squinted in pain as she gasped at the feel of her body colliding into his. 

"You can't just get rid of me." He said flatly.  Juliet jerked back, grasping his pinky and bending it back. He winced in pain and released her. She pushed hard off of his chest and instinctively slapped him solidly across the jaw. Her breath hitched, eyes searching his before coldly warning him.

"Don't you touch me" Juliet spat as she slowly backed out of his range, her fingers lightly touching her throat. Juliet could now hear Kevin attempting to use his body to open the door.

Bill tipped his head and loosened his jaw- then he kicked the side of the desk hard, denting its metal side as his hazel eyes darkened refocusing on Juliet.  Juliet swallowed, very aware that she'd just made a mistake. She kept her hands in front of her as she glanced around -her eyes landing on the phone. She lunged for it on the far side of the desk. Letting out an inadvertent sob as Bill thrust himself at her swiping the items off the desk and snatching the receiver, knocking her back and slamming the phone's base hard against the wall. Juliet ducked, her hands moving to cover her head.  

Kevin was banging loudly. " _HEY! Bill?! Open damn the door!_ " Then door went silent.

"I told LaFleur the truth! You don't belong with him! And once he's gone you'll see... You'll see that I was right all along." Bill 's voice rumbled as Juliet backed into the locked gun cabinet. She looked behind herself and bounced off of it like it was hot - not wanting to get trapped there.  Juliet had no where left to go. Bill ran his fingers over his scalp and took a step back, trying to reel in his anger. She could see his internal battle raging. Juliet swallowed and took the opportunity to steady her breathing, her eyes watered in fear mixed with frustration as the corner of her mouth twitched. She set her sights on the door then deliberately stepped up to Bill. She blinked steadily- her voice dropped and came out in a stoic whisper, not unlike the one she'd used on James and Sayid back near the beach. 

"We both know the truth  Bill.  You're... sick. You're... unstable... and you need help." 

Bill watched her in seriousness his posture relaxing slightly as she turned sideways beside him-her eyelids fluttered as her hand finally made contact with the door lock.  He turned to face her and raised his hand, placing it on hers to prevent her from turning the bolt. Her body flinched briefly and his face twitched in collected thought before he let out a heavy breath and furrowed his brow- questioning in an eerie whisper, only inches from her face.

"Tell me Juliet? Why is it that  _you_ are in my dreams EVERY night?! Why people that _should_ be dead keep trying to tell me to do things?  Why none of this happened before you showed up- before that damn night. Tell me what  _it_   wants."

Juliet looked at him, her face pinched with a flash of sympathy- she swallowed hard. 

"You. Stay. Away from me." She said quietly warning him again,  then Juliet slowly reached over and layered her other hand on his and forced the lock open.. Bill's eye twitched as the knob rattled again from the outside. He didn't try to stop her. Kevin felt the lock release from the other side of the door and swiftly pushed it open, hitting Juliet solidly in the shoulder as her hands moved swiftly out of the way. Bill stepped back further behind the door. Dropping against the wall in defeat.

"Woah! What. the. fuck? You alright?" Kevin gasped- his eyes darting between Bill and Juliet-wide with shock- He was holding a crowbar- Juliet suspected that Kevin was about to open the door himself.

Juliet's eyes watched Bill in a deadlock as she gave a tiny nod then Kevin reached a hand in and let the door open enough for her to slip out passed him. Juliet emerged from the office and crossed the garage in a daze. She stopped when she saw Jesse with a walkie frozen in his hand.  She glanced back at Kevin nervously giving him a nod that she was _okay-_   then took a several deep breaths willing herself to calm down just as Jerry and Phil rounded the corner of the garage in a semi-panic. 

"Juliet!? Hey! Where is he? You hurt?" Jerry came rushing over quickly taking Juliet by the shoulders and moving her out of the garage into the sunlight on the side of the building as Phil headed to Kevin who was standing guard at the office then moved to close himself and Bill inside.

Juliet felt dizzy and Jerry moved her over to an open van, gesturing for her to sit. She complied obediently her mind lost as she stared in disbelief at the ground.  

"Take a minute. Ya okay? ." Jerry said spreading his fingers across his heavy mustache in concern. 

Juliet's face was red as she dropped her head into her hands nodding in reply.. 

"K,  just... Stay here. I'll be right back. Don't... move." Jerry said before heading back inside and detaching his walkie from his hip. 

About five minutes later Phil came out of the garage. Juliet still hadn't said a word.

"Hey- uh. We're are gunna take Bill to the security station for questioning. Horace said you'll need to stop by to make a statement too. He said he'll call you when Bill's gone. Probably gunna move him back to the medical station for observation, until we figure..."

Suddenly, they heard a loud crash.

Juliet's body jolted as she moved to her feet and Phil spun back towards the sound. They quickly rounded the side of the building to the open garage doors. Juliet's mouth dropped open as a forced breath pushed it's way out. Sawyer had Bill by the throat pinned against the wall. Bill's hands were cuffed helplessly behind him. His face reddening.

Jerry was already attempting to attach to Sawyers right bicep- and pry him off.  Kevin quickly skittered out of the office, trying to help.

"I warned you Cowboy! " Sawyer roared.

He let Bill drop then pulled back just enough to launch his left fist into right side of Bill's face. The vein in Bill's temple was beginning to bulge as he held his ground - his head bouncing off the wall. He spit his own blood towards the floor before dragging his eyes up to meet Sawyers.

"Go head LaFleur, kill me." He choked out, Sawyer tipped his head and attempted to oblige him by gripping his throat tightly.

"Cus... if.. you don't..." Bill stuttered as another fist flew into his gut, then another into his nose, buckling him with a pained grunt. Juliet flinched as she watched in shock as Sawyer pounded on Bill. Kevin finally grabbed control of his left wrist as Sawyer tried to yank himself free. 

Juliet snapped out of it and instinctively moved in - Phil reaching out to restrain her.

"James!" She called-her voice pitched fearfully as she attempted to get his attention.

Sawyer's chest was heaving. His eyes squinted in hate as he growled. His ears were ringing. 

"James, stop!" Juliet tried again. Sawyer froze and turned his head over his shoulder towards her. Phil let her go- noticing Sawyer calming slowly with each sound of her voice. 

Juliet moved in cautiously closer to Sawyer as Bill watched through a bloody haze, his head half hung. Bill's nose was bleeding and his eye already swelling. Juliet's eyes moved from Bill back to Sawyer- her eyes pleading.

Sawyer stopped struggling and took a deep breath, allowing Jerry and Kevin to pull him back as he held eye contact with Juliet.  His eyes were dark. His nose was twitching as his chest heaved.

Once there was enough room- Juliet moved into the space between -breaking Sawyer's view of Bill.  Bill rolled to his shoulder against the wall and let out a heavy sigh as Jerry switched to take hold of him, releasing Sawyer. Kevin looked at Juliet then also let go and turned- moving towards the office where Jesse stood, taking it all in. The scene around them dissipated into meaningless mumbles as Jerry and Phil gave Sawyer an understanding nod before walking Bill out of the garage.  Kevin pulled out his pack of cigarettes with a sigh-snatched his sunglasses off the counter and headed out the side of the building, Jesse followed him-like a puppy not sure what to do. Sawyer and Juliet were left standing there alone.

Juliet stepped closer, pressing her palms to Sawyer's chest gently ushering him outside the garage doors. He complied under her touch and moved backwards, his eyes slowly watching Bill as he was led away before moving back to Juliet. Juliet looked down questioning herself shakily-then her eyes moved back up to his. Sawyer's dimples were gone, eyebrows angled more softly. He closed his eyes briefly and tipped his head tentatively as her eyes continued to search his, back and forth, glassy with worry- He sensed her fear was not _because_ of him, but _for_ him. Sweat was beaded heavily at his temple as he swallowed. They stood there- having a silent conversation. Juliet's fingers languidly moved out to his shoulders, her breathing steadied. Sawyer's arms were hanging uselessly at his sides. He let out a tiny pained groan and Juliet's face contorted briefly in understanding. Juliet looked beyond exhausted, Sawyer could see the pained remains from last night still written on her face.

"We can't be... who we were." She whispered with an apologetic sadness.  

As her words sunk in Sawyer finally allowed himself to reach out for her, his bloodied left hand gently cupping the back of her neck. He nodded in agreement, his eyes closed in relief as his fingers touched her skin. She tipped her head gently into his palm. He moved a stray hair from her face delicately. Her eyes were so blue. He let out another pained sound and drug himself forward silently begging her to hold him. She did. Her fingers slid carefully around his back just below his shoulder blades. Sawyer let out a heavy sigh of relief, his other arm draped over her protectively attempting to pull as close as he could, her cheek rested against the crook of his neck. His chin moved to the top of her head. Juliet let out a long breath then closed her eyes as she allowed herself to be engulfed in the heat radiating off of his body.  

 

 

 


	29. Chapter 29

Juliet pulled back first as she moved a hand up and using the back of her wrist to wipe the sweat from her face before re-twisting and fastening her hair off of her neck once again. The late afternoon heat was becoming intense. She felt the sun beating on her shoulders and through the thin fabric of her tank top. Her legs still felt weak. 

"Ya okay?..." Sawyer said in a low tone. His eyes moved clinically over her flesh checking her for injuries frowning at the red marks he found. Sawyer's lips pursed, flashing his dimples only for a second as his left hand sliding around to the front of her shoulder to rest on her collarbone as he noted how hot and flushed her skin was. He squinted like he could tell something didn't feel right but Juliet nodded and reached up, pulling his left hand out in front of her to examine it. Sawyer winced as Juliet gently tested his joints and knuckles. Her fingers still shaking lightly.

"You could've killed him." Juliet said quietly-inhaling and letting out a sigh of relief that he hadn't.

Sawyer's nostrils flared as his gray blue eyes met hers. His face silently told her that _he would've_. 

"I know." She breathed-answering his unspoken statement. She blinked deliberately.

"Guess I just confirmed my own theory on why ya didn't want me involved. " Sawyer huffed apologetically.

Juliet let out a sigh and shook her head slightly letting him know that he was wrong before gently touching his jaw. He closed his eyes as she spoke.

"No. You were right and...  I should've told you. " Juliet's throat locked in as she forced the words from her mouth.

Sawyer's brows furrowed as he took her hand putting it to his chest over his heart.

"Truth?"

"Yeah, truth." Juliet whispered back.

"I wouldn't have told me either. I'm an asshole."

He tipped his chin proudly letting his dimples break through the scruff of his beard. Juliet let out a half cry, half laugh.

"and I'm a mess."

Sawyer tipped his head and let out a smile before moving in and kissing Juliet's forehead and temple before moving to her lips. She let out a whimper of gratitude as she gently kissed him back.

"Yeh~ but yer _my_ mess."

The sounds of tools being put away slowly captured Juliet's attention. Kevin stepped out of the office and looked over with a cocked look of concern.

"Sorry to... interrupt but security called. They asked me to letcha know you two need to head over."

Sawyer nodded to Kevin and then turned back to Juliet. 

"Well, here~we~ go. You ready Jane Eyre?" He questioned already knowing she wasn't. Juliet's eyes averted as they turned towards the security building.

Juliet stared at the ground as Sawyer reached back took her hand. Juliet paused and pushed her palms over her thighs as they made their way towards the door.

"I'll be right there with ya- yer gunna do fine, you got this. " Sawyer replied sensing her unease.

He pulled open the door and gestured Juliet in- he touched the small of her back as she flashed him another look of uncertainty. Sawyer squinted at her with a grin - silently telling her not to worry.

As they moved in the building they could hear a lot of commotion. It seemed pretty much the entire security crew had been alerted and called in. Jin and Miles looked up first, their eyes watching in trepidation. Phil and Stuart were at the monitor counter quietly arguing on how to work their equipment and Jerry was setting up a small table and chairs in the holding cell room. Miles quickly stepped up meeting Sawyer and Juliet in the stairwell whispering.

"We have a problem.  Stuart's back a day early and Horace was interrogating Bill before they took him to medical.  _Bill_ was ranting about the... _black smoke"_  His eyes shifted from Juliet to Sawyer in a panic.

Sawyer's face turned to a scowl.  He knew damn well _he_ hadn't told Horace about them running into the smoke that night. 

"Sonofabitch" Sawyer whispered back.

"Well?! What do we say? You know they're gunna wanna ask us again." Miles continued in a low voice.

  
"Nothin- Alright. Stick with the damn story. You didn't see nothin' that night- I got this. Just...act- casual!" He said as he pushed past Miles.

Juliet took a few very deliberate breaths as her hand grasped the railing when she reached the bottom of the stairs. Jin moved silently over to stand by the coffee counter, his eyes glued to Juliet. Sawyer sighed then quickly cleared his expression, puffed his chest and flipped his attitude into _"pissed off mode"_. 

"Where the hell is he!? I wanna talk to that son of a bitch!" He yelled, stomping in the main room like the alpha dog.

Stuart turned around. He pushed his glasses up his nose and smoothed his hair back, the top of his balding head was glistening with sweat.

"Calm down LaFleur. He isn't here. Everything is under control. We just need to ask Juliet a few questions."

Phil was rewinding the video footage from the Motor Pool.

"Juliet." Stuart nodded in greeting with a look of stoic seriousness then turned to the guys.

"Miles, Jin I need to ask you to clear the room. Jerry, you too! You'll all be briefed on the situation when you return for your shifts."

Jerry emerged from the side room, following Miles and Jin quietly up and out of the building.

"We need you to walk us through what happened at the garage this afternoon?" Stuart said as he gestured for her to have a seat in front of the monitors.  Juliet gave him a weak smile and obediently took a seat, her eyes staring at the clipboard on the counter.  

"You know what happened! Billy boy attacked her for no damn good reason! The man's lost his mind." Sawyer raised his voice in an attempt to attract attention.

"Please LaFleur, I don't want to have to ask you to wait outside too, you'll get your chance." Stuart said cautioning him. Sawyer growled and looked to Juliet, whose eyes were locked on his. He gave a small nod his face pinched in concern. Juliet was already breathing shallowly, her eyes glassy- they all looked over as Phil played the video footage.  Juliet looked up and watched herself walk in to the garage, talk to Kevin then head to her locker and pull out her things- Jesse approached and then Bill entered the frame. He grabbed her arm and dragged her to the office- as soon as the door closed Phil froze the frame. She could feel everyone's eyes on her.

"Can you tell us what happened there? What did Bill say?"

Stuart pressed a red button on a table top audio cassette recorder then gave Phil an annoyed look with a  _"say it again"_ gesture. Juliet waited nervously, wringing in her fingers in her lap. Her mouth tightened. Phil sighed and tried again more professionally.

"Juliet, Can you tell us what happened at the garage at the time of the video footage? What did Bill say to you before he took you into the office?" 

"Uh.. He said we needed to talk" She said simply. Her eyebrow twitched.

Phil nodded then pressed play. They sat there in silence for another four and a half minutes as they watched Kevin attempt to open the door and Jesse pick up the walkie to call them. Kevin had grabbed a crow bar from a nearby tool box when Phil froze the tape again. Stuart again hit the red record button and gave Phil a nod.

"In the office. What did Bill need to talk about?"

Juliet swallowed, her chest was tight as her stare moved to the red button. She replied flatly, seemingly emotionally detached

"He was angry... because, he had been reassigned. He thought I asked for him to be moved."

Sawyer's jaw was locked- his nostrils were flaring.

"Did you? Ask for him to be moved?" Phil asked.

Juliet shook her head.

"For the audio."

"No." She said quietly.

"Why would he think you did that?" Stuart interjected. Juliet felt her body suddenly getting clammy and she closed her eyes for a moment.

"Uhm.. because he knew..." Juliet glanced over to Sawyer, who was leaning against the wall, fists clenched.

"I didn't... _want_ him." A tear fell from her eyes in frustration as she blinked hard trying to refocus as she quickly brushed the wet streak from her cheek with her finger.

"Can I go now?" Juliet said in a soft tone. She pushed herself to her feet then paused and set back down taking a series of short breaths through her mouth- clearly unable to stabilize herself.

Sawyer took a step off his place against the wall- crossing his arms in front of himself. He could see that Juliet was done.

"I think that's enough Phil..." Sawyer said as Stuart put up a palm silently asking  for one more minute. 

"You didn't _want_ him? Was he making... advances?  Juliet? Was this the first time he's put his hands on you? ." Phil said more persistently, leaning closer.

.......

_"Dr. Burke?" The nurse said as she moved in holding a chart._

_"Yes." Edmund replied stepping forward._

_"Oh, I'm sorry- I meant your wife. The nurse corrected herself with a tiny fake smile._

_"Of course." Ed said turning back to Juliet who was quietly sitting on the side of an exam table adjusting her left shoulder delicately in a sling. She looked up with an apologetic smile towards the nurse._

_"You're free to go. The doctor said if you'd like to stay he has a colleague he'd like you to meet. She had a few questions for you."_

_Juliet's expression drained as her eyes moved carefully to read Edmund's face. He was squinting as he stepped close to Juliet, placing his hand on the back of her neck._

_"My wife has had a long day. We're... repainting our living room and she tripped off the ladder. This was just a clumsy little accident. Right Jules?"_

_Juliet's lips pursed, flashing with a pained smile, then answered obediently._

_"Yes. It was...I was... Clumsy"_

_The nurse looked up from her clipboard, arching a brow knowingly. She'd clearly read the history and realized this wasn't Juliet's first trip to the ER for something "clumsy". Juliet remained still, avoiding eye contact. She felt guilty,  she remembered feeling cases of helplessness when she had done her residency in the hospital. The irony of being on the other side of the story was not lost on her._

_"Right. I'll let the doctor know." The nurse said as she set down the release form on the table and shot Edmund a look before she walked out._

_Ed turned towards Juliet with an exaggerated apologetic sigh, he pulled her into an embrace. Juliet closed her eyes as a twinge of pain ached through her shoulder._

_"You shouldn't have provoked me, Juliet. I love you but-you know how sensitive I am." He whispered as he stroked her hair. Juliet nodded against his chest, her heart in her throat._

_........_

There was a long pause. Juliet was staring at nothing and Stuart looked to LaFleur questioningly -then stepped closer to Juliet, his eyes narrowing.

"Did Bill mention anything about having dreams? Visions of a black cloud? It's important you try to remember, Juliet."

Sawyer's brow furrowed in suspicion, something wasn't right. The same feeling he had earlier at the garage. Juliet's head slowly lowered into her hands, fingers spreading across her temples. Their voices were becoming muffled.  Sawyer moved over to Juliet- when he saw the pink color drain instantly from her face. He no sooner knelt in front of her before he heard her whisper.

"I... can't breathe..."

Juliet moved to the edge of her chair like she meant to stand up -instead her hands fell forward on to Sawyer's shoulders as though Juliet had meant to catch herself but they were instead followed by the rest of her body-dropping limply against him like a rag doll. 

"Juliet?! C'mon Baby- Alright Phil -Turn it off!" Sawyer shouted as his arms reflexively caught Juliet's crumpled form -his voice arc'ed as he lowered her to the floor. 

  
"Oh. My. God. Did she just faint? " Phil said hitting the recorder button off then swiftly standing up and stepping away from LaFleur. Stuart crouched down to Juliet's side as Sawyer gently turned Juliet. Her head lolled to his shoulder. She was burning up. He slid his hands under her knees and guided her across his knees.  Sawyer stroked Juliet's hair and watched her as Stuart moved to get a glass of water. Juliet's muscles twitched lightly against him, then her eyes fluttered open. Juliet's brow furrowed as she looked around, slightly confused by how she'd ended up on the floor.

"There's those baby blues. Welcome back." Sawyers face was dead serious as he moved a sweaty fallen tendril from Juliet's face.

  
Juliet let out a sigh started to push herself upright realizing what happened. "How long was I out?" She breathed, the color slowly returning to her cheeks.

"Only a minute or two." Stuart answered as Juliet looked up at the glass of water he was handing her. Sawyer took it from him, then passed it to her.

"Maybe we should take her to the medical station?" Phil said, clearly in a panic.

"I ain't takin' her over where _he_ is, no way Frodo."

"I'm okay... I...I'm just really tired."  Juliet stated as she drank from the cup of water shakily.

Everyone sat in uncomfortable silence for a few long minutes. Sawyer finally sighed and moved out from under Juliet, who was now sitting cross legged on the floor, staring at the ground in quiet embarrassment. He carefully reached down and pulled her up  with a sigh of relief. Juliet clung to him for a moment then backed up to use the wall for support, moving to return the cup to the coffee counter.

"I'm takin' her home. We're finished here." Sawyer said to Phil and Stuart in a commanding tone.

Stuart nodded reluctantly then moved to his clipboard before turning back. 

  
"Yeh alright. I'd say this interview is over, for now. I'll send Horace over in the morning. O- and LaFleur- I'm taking your shift tonight, I have some "supervisory" things that need to get done. You're welcome."

Sawyer heaved out a sigh and furrowed his eyebrows as he nodded at Stuart and opened his palms as he crossed to Juliet guiding her up the stairs. Her vision blurred for a second when she made her way up. 

"I'm sorry" Juliet apologized softly to all of them over her shoulder as they made their out the door. 

"Don't worry about it. Go get some rest. We'll let you know what we decide." Stuart replied as Phil dropped into a chair and watched them disappear. 

.........

 

The sun was starting to set as they stepped outside. Sawyer stopped Juliet as they started walking across the courtyard. 

"You sure yer alright?"

  
Juliet nodded weakly closing her eyes and resting her hand on his. 

"I just wanna go home. And yeah, I'm alright, I've actually done it before. "passed out"." Juliet said nonchalantly glancing at Sawyer, she still had a lightheaded feeling but was pushing through it as she turned towards the house. Sawyer picked up his pace to catch up with her. She looked over at his face twitching nervously as he watched her cautiously.

"James, really. I'm fine. It's usually a pain induced response... for me -It's probably a combination of things. It's like a reset button." She said in an attempt to soothe him. Her fingers danced lightly across her hip bone as she moved.

"A combination of things?! Hold up there, Blondie. You just scared the hell out of me in there and yer actin' like it's no big deal. You mind sharing yer wisdom for us less doctory types?"

Juliet knew he was truly concerned. Her brow furrowed but kept walking and he followed. They moved up the steps to the porch and Juliet stopped, licked her lips and gave him a nod of compliance, pausing as her memory drug out the medical definition she was looking for.

"It's called Syncope:  it's a type of _simple_ fainting spell due to uh, any number of things really: Anxiety, fear, pain, intense emotional stress, hunger... Most people who suffer from a simple fainting episode have no underlying heart or neurological problems. In other words, I'll be fine. I just need some sleep... and maybe a sandwich" She said blinking at him sarcastically in that way that made his heart skip.

Sawyer opened his mouth then closed it in a huff as he used his key to open the door to the house. He walked in, glancing around quickly at the disorder- doing his best not to draw attention to it. He was pretty sure she'd just told him her diary list of emotions from the past two days and a pang of guilt washed over him. Juliet realized he was calculating what she'd said as she moved inside and leaned on the wall to take off her shoes- giving him a sympathetic look.

"What kinda pain?... Made you pass out? I mean, before." He said testing the topic as he leaned on the back of the armchair and began unlacing his boots. He knew that he'd only done it once in his life and it was when he'd been shot.  

Juliet's eyes squinted briefly before the truth rolled off her tongue, her fingers moved up her neck and rubbed her earlobe gently- just like she always did when she wasn't sure what to say.

"Uhm. I dislocated my shoulder. That did it twice. Oh- and when we came back from the jungle-in the van- though that was possibly a combination of a few things." 

"Twice?! How the hell you dislocate yer shoulder twice?" He said a bit surprised.

Juliet let her hair down and noticed her hands were still shaky- she swallowed then smiled shyly at Sawyer. She moved to the kitchen cupboard, pulling out a stack of crackers then leaned her back against the counter. Her eyes moved around the room, it was still a mess, dried black rose petals were still scattered near the doorway. She stared through them then answered him coolly.

"No. Four... times, actually. The last two times, I didn't pass out though, so I guess that's an improvement." She arched an eyebrow in thought and took a bite of a cracker then moved to the fridge, reaching for the juice carton. Juliet knew part of her problem was that she hadn't really eaten since the day before out in the jungle. 

There was an awkward silence as Juliet took a drink and returned the carton to the fridge before reaching for the broom and dust pan leaning against the side of it and setting down her glass. 

Sawyer swallowed. Unsure what to say. Juliet bent down and began sweeping up the petals on the linoleum as Sawyer crossed and crouched down beside her halting her hand. His eyes searching hers. Juliet froze. Sawyer took the broom and Juliet took a deep breath.

"Mr. Burke?" He said in a low voice, questioningly.

Juliet's face instantly gave her away, she swallowed hard. She pushed a breath out her mouth then made eye contact, her eyes distant with just a hint of sadness.

" _Dr._ Burke." She corrected him.

 

 


	30. Chapter 30

 WARNING:

**This Chapter is rated for "Graphic Violence and Non/Con."  Please feel free to skip the italics section if you find the type of subject matter is too disturbing. If you feel the need to discuss- please PM me- I will do my best to address any concerns.**

 

 

Juliet let out a ragged breath then pushed off the floor- carefully returning to her feet. As she moved to the trash bin in the kitchen to dump the petals she found herself trying to explain. She kept her back partially turned from Sawyer.

"It's okay~The first time it happened, I was just a kid. It's really not uncommon to be more susceptible to the same injury if you're unlucky enough to have it happen when you're young..." Juliet turned to face him with a soft smile in an attempt to change the subject and divert attention away from the obvious. Sawyer was frozen his eyes stared in deep thought at the wall, like he was trying to remember something. She had expected a different reaction.  Juliet tipped her head with concern and continued.

"As it turns out, I was a terribly uncoordinated 9 year old. Haven't tried to ride a skateboard since... because... the _aliens_ told me not to." Juliet pitched sarcastically. Sawyer's wheels were spinning. He hadn't heard a word she said after the mention of Ed. Her smile faded and her tone turned serious.

"... and... the last time was actually because of  _Kate_. In the jungle, just before I came to the beach." She said as she set the dust pan on the counter and crossed her arms knowing _Kate's_ name would get his attention. It did.

Sawyer's eyes darted over to hers. He stood up with the broom clutched in his hand as Juliet watched him, expressionlessly.  He was reminding her of herself and she didn't like it. The silence was overwhelming and Juliet's lips pursed in uncertainty as she separated her arms and subconsciously fidgeted a thumb into the dent on the outside of her hipbone.

"Uh..." Juliet glanced away, sighed nervously then gave him a nod. She was done.

"I'm gunna go take a shower." she said pausing tentatively- almost as if she were asking to be dismissed. Sawyer nodded, still in shock. 

"Yeh. Okay." He replied automatically, unaware that his jaw was still slack.  Juliet's eyes glossed over and she took an awkwardly long step towards the hall before turning to disappear into the bathroom. 

Sawyer watched her go-releasing a heavy breath. _4 times_.  Sawyer walked over and dropped down on the couch. The broom was still in his hands as he replayed the moment she walked onto the beach through a different set of eyes. Juliet's. He groaned at himself and sighed. He was starting to truly grasp why she had so much distrust- he hadn't even imagined the Juliet he knew ever being mistreated that way by anyone. He knew Ben had been the king of mind fucks but this? The creases in his forehead deepened at the thought of it. Juliet was kind, caring, intelligent. Not only that but he'd seen her on numerous occasions be damn frightening and unforgiving. When he thought of a "victim" Juliet wasn't the visual that came to mind. She was a fighter but not a fight starter. He growled over the thought that she'd kept this guy buried deep- hell, he didn't even know the guy existed until 24 hours ago. The only thing Sawyer knew right now is that he hated Juliet's ex almost as much as he hated Bill. The parallels that he was just now connecting were beginning to unnerve him.

Thinking of Bill reminded him that needed to thank Jesse. If the twitchy kid hadn't called him this afternoon he would've missed his only opportunity to beat the shit out of _The Cowboy_. It made him feel a little better knowing at least one asshole had met his fists.

Maybe it was the thoughts of his mother and how his father had treated her, killed her- that made his pulse race. He couldn't stomach it. He was an underdog and even though Sawyer knew that most people assumed he was a selfish, rural minded hothead, Juliet saw right through that act. She saw his tenderness, his insecurities, the soft underbelly of his harsh exterior and she kept that secret for him. He needed her to know that her weaknesses could be balanced by his strengths just the way his darkness was balanced by her light.

Sawyer stood up and headed over to pick up the broken record looking at it curiously before moving to drop into the trash.  He finished cleaning the mess by the door and returned the broom. He folded the clothes that had been piled on a armchair and ate a leftover sandwich from the fridge knowing it must have been Amy that brought them. He paused in the hall outside the bathroom listening to the blowing sound of the hair dryer. Juliet was out of the shower. He moved to the bedroom to put away the clothes and blankets from the couch. When he turned to leave the bedroom, Juliet was standing there, leaning on the door frame, a white towel tucked neatly around her. Her blonde hair cascading over her shoulders. Her expression was serious but sad.

 _"We can't be... who we were."_   The phrase echoed in his mind. Juliet hadn't said that just for him. It was for both of them. Sawyer was reminded that he didn't know who Juliet  _was_ at all, not before the island. He set the clothes basket in the closet before dropping down in defeat on her side on the bed-his eyes watching her.

Juliet moved into the room, and sat beside him. She didn't look over, instead her eyes were locked on nothing.  Sawyer could see how tired she was.

"You okay?" She asked honestly, before looking at him. 

"Yeh, and no. Seems we have trouble finishin' our conversations" He replied. Juliet nodded in guilty agreement and let out a deep breath. She was so tired she felt drunk. They sat in silence for a moment. Juliet didn't know how to start or where to start.

The phone rang jolting both of them both out of thought. Sawyer reached over, grabbing the receiver off of the end table, but not before shooting Juliet a disgruntled _"saved by the ring_ " look.

"This is LaFleur... Evenin' Chief."

Juliet sat - holding her breath as Sawyer listened to the other end of the line. 

"Alright... Is that a temporary fix?... I see. Uh huh"

His gaze again moved to Juliet who stood up and took the opportunity to change. She slid her panties on under her towel then pulled her tank top out- her back to Sawyer as she dropped her towel in the clothes basket and pulled her head through. Sawyer caught sight of her back and his brow furrowed. She had two horizontal bruises running across it. Juliet turned just in time to see the tail end of his reaction as he wrapped up his conversation. She stopped and crossed her arms in front of her.

"Okay. Yeh, she's alright, thanks. Yes, I'll tell her to call Amy in the morning. And thanks for the heads up boss. Goodnight."

Sawyer returned the receiver to the phone then looked up at Juliet. 

"Well, it's official. As of tomorrow _The Cowboy_ will no longer be on this island."

  
Juliet looked at him in confusion. Sawyer groaned.

"He'll be on a smaller one, about 2 miles off shore. They're sending him to The Hydra."

"What?" Juliet breathed in disbelief. 

"Turns out Stu has had about enough of his shenanigans but the next sub ain't scheduled fer another 3 weeks."

Juliet moved a hand up to cup her forehead in thought. Her breathing shallowed. Her mouth opened but no words came out. Sawyer stood up and moved into her space touching her shoulders to get her attention. 

"Hey- I'll find out more tomorrow. Everything's gunna work out. Alright?."

Sawyer swallowed nervously and pulled Juliet into an embrace. She let out a tight breath and nodded her arms melting into him. Sawyer took a few steps backwards pulling Juliet with him. Juliet followed questioningly.

"C'mon, it's getting late and I know fer a fact you ain't slept in two days."  Juliet's eyebrow twitched in honesty confirming his theory. Sawyer leaned back and turned the sheets down.

"Did he say anything about the black smoke?... Do you think they believe Bill? "

"I dunno, but I saw Stuart's face when he asked you. That was enough to know  _we_ ain't tellin' _them_ nothin'." Sawyer gave her a flashing look of distrust over it then gently patted the bed. He was right-she needed sleep but her mind was racing. Juliet dropped obediently into the empty space tucking her legs under the sheets, the corner of her mouth twitching as she tucked her hair behind her ears.

"James, He's not stable. I could see it his eyes." Juliet whispered calmly -watching him carefully. Sawyer squinted then let out a sigh and sat down beside her. 

"Yeh, I know."

Sawyer agreed arching a brow as he reached down and deliberately held up her bruised arm as his proof. Juliet's expression changed as she looked at Sawyer apologetically before taking a deep breath and letting him know her thoughts.

"No. It's not just me. I'm worried... for you. He told me that his dreams were trying to get him to do things. He said I would understand after " _you_ _were_ _gone_." Maybe it's not me he's after. What if I'm the bait? " Juliet's nostrils flared slightly and her face pitched at the thought. Sawyer growled.

"You ain't _the bait. Maybe_ ~ the pretty boy's lost his damn mind and is just  tryin' to keep me outta the way- to get to you."

Sawyer said more convinced that _his_ theory was the right one. He reached over and tipped her face to his. His features smoothed as he let his fingers trace the frame of her face. Juilet's eyebrows angled together in anxiety as she pulled his hand down and kissed his busted knuckles. 

"You trust me?" Sawyer asked, lowering their hands to the sheet covering Juliet's thigh before stroking the top of her leg with this thumb.

Juliet nodded, resting her other hand on his. His touch made her eyes close in comfort. He smiled and continued in a calm even tone.

"Alright- Then we can figure it out. Together. But I need you to tell me the truth, no more hiding stuff you think might hurt me. I'm a big boy. You let me worry about that. K?"

"I know..." Juliet whispered honestly as her chest tightened. 

"I ain't Ben... and I ain't yer ex... I ain't gunna use nothin' against ya."

Juliet pursed her lips, she could feel that Sawyer was retesting the topic of Ed. He wanted to continue their conversation from earlier. She shot him a pained look and he paused at her expression, flashing his dimples in reply. Sawyer gave her a nod, leaned over, closed his eyes and pressed his lips to her forehead sweetly. Her arm snaked around his bicep lightly as she took a nervously long breath. 

"It's okay. Get some sleep. I ain't goin' anywhere. I'll be back in a few minutes." He whispered. Juliet gave him a weak smile then slid her head down onto her pillow, her body aching from exhaustion. Her eyes followed Sawyer as he moved to the door and turned off the light.

"James?" 

"Uhhuh?"

"Thank you" she whispered.

"Anytime Sleepin' Beauty"

Sawyer pulled the door half closed and Juliet rotated gently to her side and tucked a hand up under her chin like a child- just as she always did when he watched her sleep. It was one of the predictable traits that he loved about her.  He'd never met a woman who was able to say so much without saying a word. Every blink, every tiny little subtle nuance. If a person was paying attention they would see that she didn't shut down at all as he had originally thought. She was communicating constantly. She just used every part of herself except her voice to do it sometimes. _It_ _ain't no wonder she's exhausted_. He sighed to himself. 

She listened as he moved to down the hall towards the bathroom, fighting against her body before finally succumbing to white noise of the shower and the darkness.

.....

 Sawyer padded out of the bathroom towards the kitchen, a towel tucked around his waist. He was rerunning through the events of the day. He picked up the phone- dialing the security station. Miles picked up quickly with his standard night shift hello.

_"It's late. This better be good."_

"Well, hello to you too - Is Stuart around?" Sawyer replied as he heard Miles cover the receiver.

 _"No, he's at "lunch" Get this though. They told us they are sending Bill over to the Hydra._ " 

"Yeh- Enos, I know- the boss man called like an hour ago."

  
" _Well, did the "boss man" mention that we overheard them talking about putting Bill someplace called "Room 23"? Stuart said he was an ideal candidate. What is that? Like an offshore prison?"_

 _"_ Sonofabitch, you sure?!"

Sawyer frowned as he recalled his and Kate's escape from the Hydra. Ben's daughter made them help rescue her boyfriend, Karl from "Room 23". Sawyer didn't know what the Dharma Initiative was doing over there but if it was anything like the Others, it couldn't be good.

..........

 

_Juliet stepped out of the shower. She tucked her towel around her midsection and let her hair down from being twisted on top of her head, reaching for her brush. She drug the bristles through her blond waves and moved her hand up to wipe the steam from the mirror. She startled instantly when she saw his reflection standing there watching her with an intense unreadable look on his face. Juliet set her brush down and turned around crossing her arms awkwardly across her chest. Hooking one hand over her opposite shoulder._

_"OhmyG... Ed!" she gasped in surprise.._

_He hadn't come home in days and Juliet had actually been relieved. He usually claimed he was at meetings or conferences but Juliet had known the real truth for awhile. Recently, Ed had begun to ignore her at work or treat her like a subordinate rather than a colleague. He had already been claiming her research studies under both of their names "collaboratively" for over a year, when they both knew he hadn't even touched the projects._

_Juliet had begun one project without his knowledge-and was nearly finished with a trial she had been running outside of work, on her own time. She needed a few more weeks to get it completed, then she promised herself she would end everything. When it came to work Ed was all business, he knew Juliet's research was what brought in their grants and a lot of their funding. That her work was potentially genius. But his unpredictability  and personality at home had gotten progressively more aggressive. He had changed. It was like he was testing her to see how much she could take or how much he could push himself. She was the experiment._

_"I heard about your mouse trial. You do realize that you are only 3 years into your 5 year contract at the lab right Jules? You can't publish without my authorization."_

_Juliet's eyebrows angled together and her lip quivered ever so slightly._

_"I want your notes on my desk by the end of the week."_

_Juliet stared at the floor and gave him a nod of compliance._

_Ed was right, she still had just under 2 years before she could be legally unbound from the Miami Central University Med Research Lab. He had gotten her the position after they married. Back when life was still a chain of happy little lies.  She had been so naive. She... "was Like a puppy...like love me, love me, love me." and he did, he did, he did-right away. Their relationship moved so fast and it was intense- he was brilliant and he had swept her off her feet. But it couldn't last, it didn't last._

_It wasn't just the study; Juliet was nervous because she had also been working in secrecy with an attorney to get divorce papers in order. She had been living a double life and she was a horrible liar.  She used Rachel and her illness to make herself scarce when she knew Ed would be around, or she needed to work late.  Juliet found herself lying to everyone- Ed, Rachel, herself. She was pretty sure Rachel could see through her but Juliet had solid reasons for hiding her drama. Her sister had enough to worry about._

_She and Ed hadn't slept together in months- not since she found about the other women. When she confronted him about his affairs- he had laughed -knowing there was really nothing she would do about it. He was right about that too. Juliet was an introvert, a pacifist, submissive by nature. Her sense of self worth and self esteem had been slowly whittled away over the past 3 years by her moderator, Edmund._

_His expression darkened as his eyes ran the length of her body, then he smirked. He was drunk. Juliet found herself frozen as his intentions were made clear. He wavered for a moment then pulled his tie free from his collar and un-tucked his shirt. Juliet considered her options but the only way out was past him. Edmund raised his eyes to hers with a needy squint as he undid the buttons of his dress shirt and began slowly undoing his belt._

_....._

Sawyer snuck into the bedroom and grabbed his boxers before standing in the doorway to watch Juliet sleep. He had his toothbrush hanging from him mouth. He was glad she was finally getting some rest and glad to be home. She was memorizing to watch. Her skin glowed, the way the moonlight hit the sun bleached highlights in her hair. Sawyer let out a sigh of relief that he hadn't screwed up completely. Juliet was his other half. He stared for a few minutes more as he quietly brushed his teeth - then returned to the bathroom.

_......_

_"Ed..."_

_Juliet whispered pleadingly._ _Her nostrils twitched open as her heart clenched in her chest. His pants hit the floor- he stood there in his boxers and white undershirt swiftly kicking his clothes to the side before stepping closer to Juliet. She swallowed hard and shook her head "no" gently. He smiled wryly and reached a hand up twist the end of one of her long blond waves. She moved back, bumping into the sink behind her as her fingers defensively hovered over his chest.  Juliet dropped her gaze to the wall behind him. Her eyes already watery. He smelled of women's perfume and whiskey._

_Ed moved in quickly once he knew he was in range, leaning in to clench the back of her neck. Juliet gasped- her hands still half-raised in surrender as she found herself being dragged out of the bathroom, her bare feet tripping over the pile of clothes on the floor as Ed roughly thrust her face down to the bed. She'd let out a pained sob as she bounced off the mattress. She got to her hands and knees and crawled over to the far side of the bed knocking the lamp off the side table, the light went out as it thumped to the floor. She had been reaching for her phone which also skidded  uselessly onto the floor. Ed reached for her and yanked her calves, sweeping her knees out from under her. He pulled her waist towards himself then tightly wrenched both of her arms behind her when she reached back to try and free herself . Ed planted himself on the floor, hovering over her. Juliet began taking panic'd breaths as her shoulders pitched together. Her towel barely covering her as he drug her to the edge of the bed. Ed pushed her face down into the blankets and Juliet rotated her head struggling to breathe, her face red. Her legs were half off the bed angled uselessly trying to find leverage. Juliet felt Ed push his knee between her legs as he bent over her._

_Juliet screamed in panicked frustration, trapped. Edmund shifted.  He changed his position and knelt up onto the bed pressing his knees down to either side of the backs of Juliet's upper thighs. He  moved to hold her arms down to keep her pinned  beneath him._

_"Stop!" Juliet's voice pitched with fear as her shoulder ached in warning._

_"You're only hurting yourself." He growled in reply as Juliet paused and blew breaths out of her mouth in pain._

.....

Sawyer furrowed his brow and turned the faucet off. Listening carefully. He'd thought he'd heard noise. He set down his toothbrush and opened the door walking cautiously to the living room. It was quiet. Sawyer moved to the window, sliding the curtain aside- the courtyard was dark. He headed into the kitchen to turn off the lights. His eye was drawn to the counter where a bottle of pills sat. He frowned as he read the label then placed it on the table as a reminder to himself to ask Juliet in the morning. 

_......._

_"Don't. Jules." He warned her again pulling her hair back over her shoulder in an awkwardly caring motion. He pressed his chest down flat onto her back using his weight to drain her energy._

_Juliet tried to force the her body unsuccessfully to her back- she cried out at the searing pain in her shoulder then relented. Her neck arched as she tried to face him, crystal eyes pleadingly searching Ed's -silently asking if "he was really going to do this?" There was an intense pooling darkness swirling in his expression. Her body began to shake, her muscles involuntarily spasm-ed with adrenaline. She was suddenly nauseous and losing the battle quickly._

_Edmund bent back up as he felt her body slow it's struggle. He  grabbed her hips yanking them to the edge of the bed moving solidly between her thighs. Her hand flew down to grasp her towel  which barely clung together under her at her breasts, her lower half was no longer protected. Ed took her wrist and pinned it beside her head as he pressed down again, moving close to her turned face. Juliet's legs hung painfully towards the floor forcing her back to arch. The only other option was to get to her knees and she couldn't without giving him complete control._

_"Don't fight it." He whispered as light from the bathroom cracked through the darkness of the room. His brows were rutted together- his breathing heavy and his breath smelled of alcohol. He maniacally removied her towel  from the curves of her body- stroking and watching her as her muscles flinched beneath him. Juliet let out a harsh whimper as Ed scooped his fingers around to the front of her neck just beneath her jaw and squeezed slowly -trying to silence her cries, he was irritated. Juliet was pinned. Her tears began rolling down her red face  into the mattress as his other hand snaked between her legs. Testing her. He sighed in disappointment then shifted to push his boxers off in haste. Ed's palm and fingers stroked Juliet's center with clinical accuracy, forcing her body to elicit it's natural response. Juliet reached back awkwardly- trying to block his stimulation._  

 _"Shhhh. Jules, C'mon- you want this." He continued clearly pleased with himself as he let go of her neck to pin her other hand at the outside of her hip . He held her there  as she caught her breath - until she stopped struggling._ _Edmund smiled and approvingly released her wrist. He pushed a stray chunk of her blond hair from her face, tucking it back off over the shoulder that was furthest from her face. The blankets tangled recklessly under her as her fists gripped them tightly._

_"I want this and you're my* wife" Juliet was drained. She was seeing white spots floating in her vision._

_"Please ...Stop" She said hoarsely in one last effort. Edmund frowned in frustration at her words - his nostrils flared- then he throttled back and struck the side of her face- hard. Juliet instantly tasted blood in her mouth as the force of the impact rocked her. She turned her head quickly burying her face in the safety of blankets beneath her as her arms slid up  her sides more defensively in an attempt to block any further blows._

_"Damnitt, you stop! Just let it happen." Juliet's body ebb'd with the movement of the mattress. She closed her eyes tightly as she tried to deny him. His fingers dug into her thighs with bruising force over and over. He was unwavering. Finally, she let her legs go limp- allowing him access. She rotated her head to  back to the side and let out a breath as she let her shaking body go. She didn't try to move again._

_"That's right. Jules, Let it happen"_

_Ed scooped his hands under her waist, dragging her hips back so her feet almost reached the floor -but didn't- effectively keeping her off balance. He was trapping her body right where he wanted it. He entered her completely in one angry thrust, one hand reaching up to use her right shoulder as an anchor -forcing her breath out-she wasn't ready and the friction he was creating quickly felt like the dry scraping of a dull knife between her legs._ _Juliet locked  her fists into the sheets as she let out a sob... Her cervix throbbed with each inaccurate thrust. The bed frame scraped against the tops of Juliet's knees as  she desperately tried to adjust his angle. He yanked her upwards repeatedly back into his clutches, his fingers digging into the dent above her hips.  
_

_She wheezed painfully trying her best to catch her breath as she alternated clenching her eyes closed and staring at he bedside clock as her body rocked forcefully with each thrust. 3 minutes. She felt drops of his sweat landing on her lower back, 5 minutes. Ed heavily groped her in frustration as he refocused on the feel of her body then began thrusting more urgently. Juliet let out heightened involuntary pained whimpers from the force of his actions. "Just let it happen."  9 minutes._

__......._ _

Sawyer padded back to the bedroom and flipped off the hall light. He stopped as he saw Juliet in the light of the moon. She was on the floor, leaning against the night stand- facing him. She was sitting up, eye's closed, knees to her chest- her neck was arched back her head turned over her shoulder. She was forcing tiny breaths out rhythmically. Her face pained, her fist clutching the sheet that had fallen off the bed and pooled beside her. Once again, her legs moved as though she were trying to back up or get up. It suddenly hit Sawyer like a brick what was happening to her. It was the same nightmare as she'd had when he found her in the bathroom. The same posturing. Someone was hurting her. A lot. This was her "Smoke Monster"- her memories.

"Juliet?!" He moved in with purpose - carefully dropping down and grabbing hold of her. He scooped her body up and dragged her curled form into his chest- setting them both on the bed. She let out a gasped cry, and his heart lurched. He turned her, wrapped his arms around her and held on. Her back pressed to his chest firmly. Juliet's body buckled forward. The sheet still clinging to her right fist.

"Hey? Shh. C'Mon, Come back to me. I got you" He said soothingly as he rocked her shaking body. She wasn't waking up. How long had she been asleep? Wherever she was, Sawyer knew she was in deep. A protective and guilty pang shot through his body like a bolt of electricity.

........

_"Dammitt Jules!" Edmund roared as he pulled free of her and roughly rotated her to her back. Juliet looked up at him- her chest heaving as his features shifted. His body morphed as it hovered over her, it was Edmund, then Bill. Juliet's throat locked up-Her brow furrowed into confusion. She froze as the figure shifted again back to Edmund before channeling into a cloud of black smoke. The smoke engulfed her, choking her._

_........_

"Damnitt Juliet! Open your eyes"- Sawyer begged in panic'd frustration as Juliet began to gasp.

 Juliet's arms suddenly sprung to life and reached up clutching Sawyer's which were still snugly around her chest as he held onto her in a reverse hug.  Her legs struggled for only a moment as she regained her bearings.

"It's me." Sawyer said softly letting his grip loosen.  

Juliet released a heavy breath at the sound of his voice- glancing around the room in an attempt to focus her eyes in the darkness. She flinched hard, her body still shaking like she'd had too much coffee.  She rotated to face Sawyer. Her eyes watered and her breath hitched. The look on her face was one of pure heart ache. The look on Sawyer's was one of apologetic knowing.  

"I ain't gonna hurtcha" he whispered sadly.

 

END NOTE:

**(My apologies to my readers and to Juliet. Just so we are clear, I wouldn't wish this nightmare on anyone.)**


	31. Chapter 31

 

_"I ain't gonna hurtcha"_

Juliet closed her eyes at his words. She had no idea if she'd said anything or what she'd done to make him say that but the look in his eyes told her that he knew more now than he did before she went to sleep. All of the recent events of the past few days had clearly been weighing heavily on her mind.

Juliet was breathing through her mouth, her eyebrows pitched together. Sawyer knew she was trying to calm down. He pressed a palm to her back as he sat silently and watched her trying to reel it in. His mind flashed him back: He'd seen her do this the other night when he'd yelled at her. He wanted to kick himself now. Looking back on it, she wasn't just afraid. The look on her face as he had her backed up against the wall. She'd been terrified. 

She was sitting sideways with one leg crossed under herself and the other bent to her chest, as his legs folded out around her. Her eyes finally moved to his, searching carefully. Sawyer set his other hand on her thigh- rubbing it gently. Juliet's head tipped questioningly, whatever he thought he knew he wasn't saying anything. She closed her mouth as she put her hand up to her face, wiping her nose. Juliet's fingers playing across her face as she ran her fingers back to swoop her hair behind her shoulder-pausing as she let out a sigh almost as if anger was just beneath the surface. 

"Ya okay?" He asked with concern 

"Yeh..." She answered quietly- her limbs felt weak. Sawyer squinted his eyes and pulled her head over to his body. Juliet let her head drop gratefully to his chest to feel the warmth of his bare skin against her cheek. 

"I got ya." Sawyer said as he rubbed  her back soothingly.. Juliet's eyes fluttered heavily. She stared at the floor as a chill ran through her and Sawyer noticed. He reached over and untangled the sheet then turned his body and slid over making room for her as he stretched out his long legs with a light groan. Juliet watched him then moved in- neatly tucked herself close, facing him.

"It was different this time." She said sleepily as her breathing deepened back to normal.

"Whattya mean? different how?" Sawyer said lowly as he moved her hair off of her neck.

"I saw... Bill's face- and the black smoke- just before I woke up. Like... it was testing me." She continued- her eyes focused just over his shoulder at nothing.

Sawyer's brow furrowed. Just like he had seen when he fell asleep at the station. He groaned.

"Maybe~ Smokey can't sick dead people on us cus we ain't got any yet so our dreams are the only way to get to us. " They both paused, trying to put the puzzle together. Juliet broke the silence

"I'm sorry about yesterday... and Bill... I didn't mean for you think I was using you. I'm not..." She whispered softly touching her fingers to her lip nervously. Sawyer sighed- he regretted pretty much everything that came out of his mouth that night.

"I know. and...I'm sorry~ I shoulda listened to you in the first place, and...I'm sorry that I scared ya." he replied with a slight amazement at the reality that his apology came so naturally. He'd never cared enough about anyone before.

Juliet  looked at him sympathetically before moving her fingers to his neck and tracing down his chest- stopping her hand over his heart. 

"It's _my_ fault. I knew. _I knew_ \- he was getting worse and I didn't say anything." She said guiltily.

  
"Hey, it ain't yer fault. I shoulda had yer back. That's on me. We both been flyin' solo a long time. Can't expect everythin' to be rainbows n butterflies."

It was stone quiet. Sawyer could hear Juliet's breath begin to hitch.

"I... need you. When you're not here? I can't eat. I can't sleep."

It was the first time she'd admitted that she needed him and Sawyer couldn't help but let out a small smile as a pang of emotion shot through his chest and into his throat.

"You need me?" He said tipping his chin to her with a wolfish grin before stopping to admire the way her face glowed in the moonlight. _God, she is beautiful._

Juliet let out a sigh and nodded dropping her eyes. If he hadn't known any better he'd say she was blushing but the darkness wouldn't allow him to confirm it.

  
"Well, I need you too. I hate ta tell ya but... yer stuck with me, Blondie."

C'mere." He said as he tugged her body up against his. Juliet closed her eyes and let out a light hum as her breasts pushed against his chest and her bare legs warmly intertwined with his. Sawyer cleared his throat almost instantly.

"Easy now- Don't go startin' trouble"

Juliet smiled. "I think I could get used to being _stuck_ with you"

"Is that so?" He beamed.

Sawyer tucked his chin down sweetly pressing against her temple as he moved his hand around to the small of her back- sliding it up under her tank top to feel her soft skin. His expression faded a bit as he held on to her, knowing the bruises he'd seen earlier were just above where his hand was now resting. How could anyone knowingly hurt her? He felt himself growl, his body tensed up and Juliet quickly wrapped her hand around his ribs, stroking his back. She knew him alright. The thought of Bill or anyone laying a hand on her made him want to yell, to get up and break something. Juliet leaned in and gently tested him, kissing his lips. He immediately calmed as her lips pressed up to his. Releasing a sigh as he closed his eyes. 

"James, It's okay- I'm okay. I'm right. here." She whispered - blinking slow trying to comfort him, just a hint on concern in her tone.

Sawyer squinted and kissed her back. She touched her forehead to his. Sawyer breathed deeply, inhaling the smell of her shampoo. There was nothing like the feel of her body against his. There was no one in between them, no questioning of loyalties. Just the two of them- together. They lay there silently for only a short while before Sawyer felt Juliet's body go limp with sleep against him. He let out a sigh and promised himself there was no way he was letting go again. She made him want to be a better man. She needed him. 

  

.........

 

"Time to wake up, Buttercup."

Juliet opened her eyes and glanced around- The morning light was sending a soft white glow into the room. Sawyer was dressed and standing in the doorway with a standard "tah dah" pose. He moved in and dropped down beside Juliet, bouncing the bed playfully as she stretched her torso out like a cat then gave him a pouty frown.

"Sleep okay? I mean... the second time." He corrected himself with a grin.

"I did." She said honestly as her fingers ran through her hair.

"Good. Well, It's getting late already and we got plans today, so get your beautiful sleepy head out of bed."

Juliet shot him a confused look as she pushed herself upright.

"Told Horace we'd stop by and give him a written statement about yesterday. But first... I... made... breakfast."

Juliet's eyebrow arched in skepticism then she smiled sweetly. Sawyer stood up and reached out a hand to her. She took hold of him and he growled in approval as he dragged her up and into him. His arms moving around her ribs, brushing the sides of her breasts and sending a soft chill through her body. Her nipples reacted against the fabric of her shirt as Sawyer pulled her back.  Juliet wrapped her arms around his neck.

"You best put somethin' on or I may be forced to reschedule." Sawyer smirked as his hands slid down along her sides to the thin fabric covering her hips before moving to let his fingers drag around the elastic of her panty line. Juliet hummed as she pressed against him, feeling his arousal and Sawyer let go like she burned him. Her head tipped curiously at him and she let out a light amused laugh.

"Nuh UH! My day. My way. C'mon, chop chop breakfast is gettin' cold."

 .......

 

Juliet walked into the kitchen and paused, She was wearing dark hip hugging jeans and a simple baby blue scoop neck t-shirt. She had the sides of her hair twisted back but left the majority of it down. Sawyer was trying to fork bacon out of a hot pan- using mostly his fingers. There was toast and scrambled eggs on the table. He saw her come in out of the corner of his eye and did a double take as he burned his finger.

"You look nice~" He said before flipping the bacon onto a paper towel. Juliet squinted at him with a smile.

"You okay?" Juliet said moving in and referring to the finger he was now sucking on. He nodded in embarrassment.

"Hey~ we gotta be over there in 15 minutes. To be honest I thought youd'a been up awhile go." He said with a classic _"Oops"_ expression. Juliet poured herself a coffee then sat down at the table. Sawyer looked over at her, dimples twinkling.

"Thank you. It's...this.. it's wonderful." Juliet said - smiling all the way up through her eyes as she sipped her coffee and waited for him to join her.

"Now you wanna tell me what it is that you are up to?" She continued suspiciously letting her voice pitch as she watched him. He was bouncing around just like the day that she had first kissed him. Something was off.

"Wuh? Nothin! Can't a man just wake up a little early n decide to make a nice breakfast and wanna share it with someone?"

"James..."

Sawyer arched an eyebrow then squinted.

"I'll never tell." He teased.

Juliet took a piece of toast and her eyes stopped at the bottle of pills on the table, knowing that's not where she'd left them. Her smile faded.

..........

_Juliet's body jolted up in the dark room-the door was half open and the light from the hallway shined in. She could hear that the shower was still running. She'd barely slept 15 minutes. How was it possible to be wide awake and exhausted at the same time? She slipped out of bed and moved silently through the gap in the door towards the kitchen._

_Juliet poured herself a glass of water as her eyes moved around the living area. Sawyer had cleaned up. She smiled weakly as the anxiety continued to ripple through her. Her fingers danced nervously on her collarbone._

_"Why would they send Bill to the Hydra? What the hell was going on?  And why had she said anything about Ed?! How did she to think she wouldn't need to explain? "_

_Her gaze stopped on Amy's pill bottle sitting on the counter. She reached over and picked it up- reading the label and dosage. Her eyes stared through it in thought then she robotically popped the top off and took one small white pill out. Juliet put the pill in her mouth and followed it with another drink of her water. She felt guilty but as a doctor, who didn't do well being doctored, she decided anything was better than another sleepless night. She returned her glass to the sink then made her way back to bed and slid under the covers._

_She stared at the wall as she felt her body sink into a relaxed state. Her eyes grew heavy within minutes as she remembered the last time she'd taken a sedative. It was when Richard and Ethan had brought her here. Perhaps she should've started with a half dose. The sound of the shower tunneled and she was gone._

_........._

"New habit of yers Sleepin' Beauty? Quaaludes R Us?". Juliet looked up at him guiltily.

"Uh, Amy left them-I.. just..." Juliet stopped talking. She wasn't a child. She didn't need to explain.

  
"Yeh-Well, "just" do me a favor next time and lemme know fore you go tranquilizing yerself into yer nightmares. Scared the hell outta me not being able to wake ya up, ya know."

Juliet's eyes glassed over. She brought her knuckles up and touching the space between her lip and nose as she waited for him to continue. He sighed.

"Hey, C'mon now- I ain't mad. What I'm sayin' is, it wasn't easy watching you be trapped in yer dream." Juliet nodded in understanding.

"Did I say anything?" Juliet asked as she picked up her fork and moved back to her plate to casually take a bite of her eggs.

Sawyer's brow furrowed and he shook his head   _"no"_ Juliet let out a audible sigh of relief.

"But... you didn't have to. As it turns out _words_ ain't always the best way to read you. It ain't how you communicate." Juliet's eyes locked on his as the corner of her mouth twitched.

"Oh. So you have me all figured out now? Is that it?" She tested him - her eyes turning a shade of gray blue. He let out a light laugh. 

"I don't think I'll ever figure you out Darlin' but I'm damn well gonna try." He tipped his chin up and giving up the fight before it started as he leaned over and kissed the top of her head before dropping in the the chair beside her. 

Juliet blinked slowly in that bashfully sweet manner that he loved. He took a piece of bacon and broke it off in his teeth as he flashed her another smile. They ate their breakfasts quickly and as Sawyer was clearing the plates- Juliet pulled her shoes on.

As they crossed the courtyard Sawyer took Juliet's hand and squeezed it.

"When we get there. Just write down everything that happened and skip anything having to do with the "Smoke Monster". That's it. Ain't no body gunna be there but the H man, since it's Saturday. So, hopefully no questions. They can just read the file. That alright with you Sweetheart?" 

Juliet nodded and took a breath. 

......

Sawyer was right. Horace was the only one in the offices and the process moved quickly. Juliet sat down in the holding cell room with a questionnaire and filled in the incident report - She was hesitant at first but ended up writing the truth, minus the mention of Bill's dream rant and the black smoke. As Juliet stood up and walked out into the main room, she flashed a polite smile to Horace and handed the papers to him.

"All finished?" Horace questioned as he took the stack. Juliet nodded then shifted her eyes to Sawyer giving him a look that told him she'd done as he'd asked.

"Thank you Horace. For letting me finish this today. " Juliet said politely. Horace began to rock back on his heels as he glanced over to Sawyer who was waiting patiently near the stairs.

"Well, I can say that I am a little embarrassed - we've never had this type of situation happen before and I apologize for any problems it has caused. I'm sure Jim told you that Bill has been sent off island- so there is no need to worry about any further altercations."

  
"Yes, he said you were sending him to... The Hydra? Can I ask why?"

"Well, I'm afraid that information is classified. But not to worry, he'll be perfectly secure over there."  
Juliet gave him a fake smile and moved towards the stairwell. Horace quickly set down the file and crossed the room. Clearing his throat awkwardly.

"Juliet.  One more thing. I don't suppose this is the best opportunity to ask you to stay on at the Motor Pool? I know they could sure use your skills over there. You're a natural." Juliet smiled sweetly.

"Of course. Thank you."

"Groovy, I'll let them know you'll be back first thing. Monday? I know the guys were concerned over losing you so... Yeh. Ok. Jim, we'll see you tomorrow- back on days."

Sawyer nodded.

"You got it boss."

"O and Jim?"  
"Yeh?"

"Please don't punch anyone else, it makes people here uncomfortable with the standards of the security team."

Sawyer huffed and let out a laugh,  his dimples dented into his cheeks. He squinted and tipped his head then turned to go. Juliet pursed her lips as Sawyer held the door for her.

"Uhm, is that an _"okay?"_ Horace called up after him as the door closed without answer.

......

As they turned the corner Sawyer took Juliet by the arm and guided her towards the Motor Pool.

"James? What are you doing?" She said as she allowed herself to be redirected.

"You'll see..." He said blankly.

The garage was open. and Sawyer peeked his head in and called out. 

"Hey Turn Tables? You in here?"

Kevin poked his head out from the office with a stoned grin and tossed Sawyer a set of keys.

"Yeh- I was starting to think you changed yer mind, man. It's parked on the side, number 4- Heyo Juliet, yer lookin' well"

Juliet beamed a smile and walked up to him as he stepped out of the office to meet them. Juliet reached out and touched his arm sweetly then crossed her arms casually.

"Thank you Kevin, and thank you for everything you did yesterday. Really." 

"Awe- making me get all mushy inside. No worries-It wasn't right- the way Bill handled you. I'm glad yer okay."

Sawyer's brow twitched as he sent a silent thanks to Kevin before touching Juliet's arm to get her attention.

"So yeh- suppose to rain later. Just thought you might want to take that into consideration, man." Kevin shot to Sawyer as they turned.

"Will do. Thanks again, I owe ya one" Sawyer called back as he shuffled Juliet and her confused smile out the side door.

"Hop in, Blondie" Sawyer said with a twinkle in his eye as he opened the passenger door.

 

..... 

 


	32. Chapter 32

Juliet blinked at him suspiciously then silently climbed into the passenger seat and glanced behind her. There was a blanket, a backpack and a picnic basket. She arched a brow at Sawyer as he got in and started the Jeep.

"We going somewhere?"

"We... are _going_ to take a day off, and get out of crazy town... I dunno bout you Sweetheart but I think we've earned it." Juliet huffed in sarcastic agreement as Sawyer started the Jeep and headed out towards the fence. Juliet's eyes twinkled as she stared at him.

"I got someplace I wanna show ya.  So, I cleared our schedules." He said as the vehicle rolled up to the fence.

"Okay." Juliet replied simply. Her face was flushed and her cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling at him.

"Okay? That's it?"

Sawyer looked at her questioningly before flashing a grin and swinging his body out, he wasn't sure why but he almost expected her to turn them around when they reached the fence. Sawyer was intrigued by the fact that just when he thought he knew what she might say or do- she'd surprised him with saying or doing the opposite. 

  
"Yeah, Okay."

Juliet repeated, amused that he expected something different as she swooped her hair to the side to hold on to it in the wind. She bent her knee up casually and rested her chin on the back of her other hand as she redirected her attention out the window at Sawyer as he punched the code and climbed back in.

They drove past the lake and into a field where a dirt trail of tire marks led into the forest line. It was almost midday and the sun was beating down through the gaps in the thickening trees. They drove about 15 minutes then Sawyer pulled off the trail. Juliet looked around- there was a small trail head marker carved into a nearby trunk with a single line footpath beside it. Juliet looked at Sawyer.

"This is it. I think..." He growled as he reached between the seats and pulled out a gridded map.  
"Miles ain't got the nicest handwriting in the world. " He said spreading the map across the seat.

"Yeh- 134. This is it. Just gotta a few minutes of walking... Ya alright? "

"Just thinking." She said nodding her head as she slid out of the jeep and leaned into the back to grab the blanket.

"Thinking that that this is a dangerous, stupidly bad idea?" Sawyer said opening the tailgate and slipping on the backpack.

"Well-now that you mention it, being out past the fence with no guns, just two of us... does seem familiar. Dangerous and stupid-hasn't stopped us before. " Juliet bounced back sarcastically before closing the door to the Jeep and moving to the start of the trail before turning back.

"Figured you would protect me with all them fancy moves of yers" Sawyer grinned as he watched her stop and wait. 

"Oh really?" She tipped her head with a squint.

"UhHuh"

"I hate to disappoint you James, but-that's not what I was thinking. I was thinking... Thank you- for this..." Juliet's eyelashes fluttered honestly and Sawyer's stomach did the same.

Sawyer's pushed his hair back, nodded slyly and slammed the tailgate making his way over to take the lead through the thick brush. Within minutes they could hear the sounds of water rushing over rocks. 

Juliet let out a breath from her mouth as she took in the beauty of the small alcove of water with a gorgeous 20 foot waterfall. Her eyes moved back to Sawyer- he was standing proudly as he too admired the view.

"How did I never find this?" She said beaming as she moved into a small patch of mossy green near the rocky pools edge. The water was almost clear. Juliet set down the blanket and Sawyer helped unfold it out big enough for both of them.

"I toldja I knew about a quaint lil waterfall." He said as he set down the rest of their things and dropped onto the blanket with a sigh. 

Sawyer's memory took him back to when he'd first been here. He'd actually been following Kate when they stumbled across this gem. Sawyer's eyebrow narrowed as he shook the visual of Kate from his mind. He looked out at the aqua pool and sighed thankfully that it was 1974 for once. _"Least there ain't no dead people floatin' at the bottom yet."_   Sawyer looked over to Juliet who'd set herself beside him in quiet awe. Her knees were bent and her arms crossed out over them in front of her. The hot air made her skin glisten with a sheen of light sweat. The noon sky brought out the sun-bleached highlights in her hair. She was absolutely perfect. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath then turned her head to him.

"It's amazing." Juliet said sweetly.

"It's ain't that great. It's just water- yer what's amazin'"

Juliet's eyes dropped, she arched a brow as her fingers played along the edge of the blanket. She still didn't take compliments well but she appreciated him trying. 

"What's in the basket?" 

Sawyer huffed with a smile as he got back on task . He dragged the basket over and pulled out some grapes, some cheese, some sandwiches and a bottle of wine. Displaying them proudly. 

"Lunch." 

  
"Breakfast and lunch in one day? You feeling alright?" Juliet teased as she mockingly reached to feel his forehead. He swatted her hand away.

"Yeh yeh, well you mentioned that you can't eat when I ain't around so I figured I better feed you at least a few times when I am." He snapped back

Juliet arched a brow at him and took a grape , putting it in her mouth. Sawyer smiled victoriously.

"I also ain't gunna lie. I may have had help. Amy made tha sandwiches." Sawyer quickly confessed as Juliet reached for one.

"BUT I sliced the cheese into these "cute little cubes"- like she told me to." He said as he held up a tiny block of cheese and tossed it up catching it in his mouth. She watched his lips, the way his neck flexed as he swallowed.

Juliet laughed and let out a light hum as she let herself look him over then gave him a approving sultry nod. Sawyer cleared his throat and shot her a playful look then distracted himself by opening the wine- pouring it into two Styrofoam cups.

"I ain't known for being the best with details but this should do. It was sorta last minute plannin'" He said raising the cup and handing her hers.

"It's perfect." Juliet beamed a full smile laugh at him. Her eyes smiled as she took a sip and plucked another grape off the vine- popping it into her mouth.

Sawyer noticed Juliet start to drift off into the abyss of her own mind and he slid closer to her. He mimicked her by facing the same direction. Her eyes closed as she took another sip of wine before realizing he was there.

"Sorry." She whispered not bothering to look over for conversation.

"Don't be.- Wanna tell me what's goin' on in that beautiful head of yers?" 

Juliet tipped her head and started playing with her ear. Her gaze adrift across the rippling water.

"I don't want to ruin it. This. Right now." She answered sweetly as she looked around them.

"Whattya mean ruin it? You _are_ it. Without you _this_  ain't anything. I'd be just a lonely man sittin' on a rock day dreamin' about a breathtaking blonde I used to know. Look, Ain't no body after us...at least they ain't today." He said in a snarky manner before turning towards her and continuing. 

"It's just you- and me... on a not so deserted island with a couple hostiles, a few hippies and way too many Phil Collin's albums. I toldja before... I needja... and ain't no one on this damn island even close to makin' me feel like you do. "

Juliet crinkled her nose and Sawyer rolled his eyes mischeviously, let out a long exaggerated sigh at his own sappiness then took a drink.

"B'sides all that. If not you, who's gunna get my back?- an keep my ass outta trouble?" 

"Something tells me you'd be just fine." Juliet said gently raising her eyebrows.

"Maybe- but what the hell do I do with myself now that you make me wanna be better than "just fine"."

"Be careful now, someone might hear you." Juliet teased. Sawyer let out a huff and dropped his head.

She leaned over and slid her hand down Sawyer's face with a loving sigh and tipped his face back to her. She loved this side of him. The one he didn't let anyone else see. His heart was on his sleeve and Juliet was captured by his charm. He was sweating in the afternoon heat. His eyes this soft gray blue color and his look had turned more serious. Juliet closed her eyes and kissed his lips. His sweet salty taste made her lick hers. Sawyer slid a hand around the back of her head and kissed her again as her jaw tipped in his favor, giving him access to taste her as well. His touch made her chest tighten with want. A chill ran through her body settling low in her stomach.

Juliet hummed and stood up- slipping out of her shoes as Sawyer watched her inquisitively. She finished the rest of her wine and let the cup drop to the ground as she moved to the water's edge. She dragged her hand through the water and trailed the wetness across the back of her neck as she lifted her hair and let out a soft sigh. Sawyer felt his body twitch as he cleared his throat again. She paused for a moment looking back at him then slid back to her feet.  

"Wanna come?" She questioned in a low tone as she slid her arms out of her shirt and pushed it up over her head before moving to unbutton her jeans- letting her clothes pool at her feet as she stepped out of them. Sawyer swallowed hard and immediately started unlacing his boots.

"You gotta stop sayin' it like that! " He growled as his dimples dented deeply into the scruff of his beard. Juliet left on her lavender colored bra and matching panties as she moved into the shallows of the water.

"Oh God... It's cooler than it looks." She gasped as she pushed in deep enough that only her head and shoulders were above water.

Juliet reached up and untied the rest of her hair then dipped her head back into the water. Sawyer's eye grew wide at the sight of her coming back up- _"Like a damn siren"_ and he swiftly dropped his pants- following her lead and leaving his boxers on as tossed his shirt carelessly in the direction of their stuff. He stepped up on a nearby rock and gauged the depth. The sound of her voice saying _"Oh God"_ instantly sent a jolt of testosterone straight to his groin. He dove out and splashed down just feet from Juliet who was now treading water in the middle of the pool. Sawyer came up and howled.

"Woooo-yea- that is so nice!" 

Juliet crinkled her nose and let out a laugh. She tipped back and floated for a moment then started doing the backstroke towards the falls. Sawyer grinned dubiously and dove back under like a shark about to circle it's prey. Juliet quickly noticed his silhouette approaching and dropped underwater to meet him as his hands slid around her ribs and they both surfaced.

Neither of them could touch to bottom. Sawyer moved behind Juliet hooked his forearm around her midsection and tugged her towards the far end of the pool near the falls where the rocks once again became more shallow.

"C'mere !" Sawyer said letting his fingers dance ticklishly across her stomach.

Juliet playfully tried to disconnect from him. He moved back til his feet could touch then stopped. Juliet turned to face him and tried to set her feet down but the height difference didn't allow it. She shot him a _"two can play this game look"_ and then wrapped her silky legs around his waist squeezing him in her thighs instead. He laughed mischeviously, closed his eyes and took a step closer to the rocks- sucking in a breath- reaching out for support. Juliet was light in his arms but his knees were weak at the feel of her hot abdomen pressed against his and the sensation of cool water that ran between them in waves. His hands gripped her waist then slid down over her ass and thighs as he moved in to capture her lips.

Juliet could feel Sawyer's arousal against her as she slowly rocked into him, letting her breasts bob into his chest as she draped her arms over his shoulders. The sensations were making her eyelids heavy. Sawyer paused to look at her. His eyes searching hers. Juliet in turn, reached between them and stroked the length of him through the fabric of his boxers.. His body buckled as he moved back further dragging her with him so his feet had better balance.

"Hey there Hot Lips, no playin' dirty."

Juliet hummed.

"Doesn't feel dirty. I can stop if..." She teasingly started to push off of him, he tightened his grip.

"Oh no ya don't"

They were just beside the falls and the mist was now spraying them gently- Sawyer noticed Juliet chill and lowered them both deeper into the water. Her legs were now gently relaxed as he held her in place against his waist. Juliet reached down again and arched a brow at him as her fingers slid into his waistband with a  gentle tug. He growled in approval and moved to swiftly remove his boxers then his hands automatically wrapped behind Juliet to unhook her bra. The fabric and clasp were wet and non cooperative- Juliet shifted her knees together for a moment and then lifted her panties up for him to take as she helped him with the clasp. Sawyer let out a low needy growl. She had this gentle, calm expression on her face with something else, Sawyer couldn't quite read, just under the surface. She let her arms out of her bra and Sawyer swallowed hard at the sight of her. He leaned back and dropped their intimate wear on the rocks behind them then hoisted Juliet higher as he leaned in to kiss her collarbone before moving to her breasts. Her neck arched back at the feel of his hot mouth on her chilled flesh. She slid down his torso as the words came out of her head in a whisper, and Sawyer was sure she hadn't meant to say it out loud.

"I love you." 

It was soft and simple. He hadn't expected it. His fingers froze against her  and his eyes slowly raised to hers. Juliet swallowed- her eyes glazed over. Sawyer blinked and tipped his head- his heart full as he let out a breath of relief.

"I love you back"

He said in complete seriousness as he moved in and kissed her- Her swollen lips suddenly tasted sweeter and he  could feel her heart racing against his chest. Her eyebrows pitched together as her hands wrapped around his shoulders and she shifted her body and slid herself onto him completely. Sawyer's body was instantly overcome with the sensation of her surrounding him. Every part of him felt ready to explode. She rocked as she held him, his legs pitching slowly back and forth as she let out these tiny sounds that pushed him even closer to the edge. He held her hips as she lifted up by pressing down on his shoulders then he pulled down dragging her back onto him.

Sawyer's eyebrows pitched and his stomach muscles flexed. He was close. Juliet began to close her eyes each time he lowered her. Her breath coming out in huffs through her mouth. He was so hard he knew it was creating a delirious friction within her. He let go of one  hip and slid his hand down to where their bodies joined. Rhythmically circling just above their connection. Juliet's head dropped back. 

Suddenly, there was the crackle off a radio echoing across the water.

"Jim? It's Horace. Are you in range? "

"No, no, no. Sonofabitch!" Sawyer said aloud as Juliet dropped her forehead to his shoulder with a light laugh. Clearly the voice had startled her. Juliet started to shift off of James-  turning towards the shoreline. She looked back at him, raising an eyebrow. He held on in desperation as the voice spoke again.

"Jim? Do you copy? I need you to respond or I will be forced to send someone to your location. over."

"Awe, c'mon, unbelievable!" He said clearly frustrated.

Juliet pursed her lips with an embarrassed smile and covered her face with her hand realizing that the sound of Horace's voice had completely shut down James's body.

He shot Juliet an angry and apologetic look as he released her, diving into the deep center of the water and heading for the shore. Juliet pulled herself over to the rocks, she looked up and realized the sun had almost disappeared and dark clouds  were rolling in. She grabbed their under garments sliding her panties on then headed back to the shore as well. She paused to tread water and watch James step out into the shallows. Smiling at the contrasting skin color between his upper half and his lower half.

"This better be good" Sawyer growled as he dug into the backpack pulling out two towels and the walkie, which was buried at the bottom.

"Jim? Do you copy?"

"Yeh! Boss, it's me, what's the emergency?" Sawyer said as he set the walkie down to wrap a towel around his waist.

"Weather scanner is picking up a heavy storm. I'm sorry I'm going to have to ask you to return to the barracks as soon as possible. We are locking down all Dharma stations until further notice."

Sawyer glanced over at Juliet, as she stepped out of the water, she was carrying their things and crossing her arms modestly to cover her breasts. Sawyer frowned at Horace's words and gently tossed a towel to Juliet. Her expression was concerned. Sawyer looked up at the sky and shook his head.

"Yeah, copy that Chief, we are inbound." 

....

 


	33. Chapter 33

Juliet began to dry herself off as Sawyer clicked the walkie off and moved over to her as she wrapped herself in her towel.

Sawyer made a sound somewhere in between a groan and a whine as his eyes met Juliet's. Juliet tipped her head sweetly.

Sawyer whispered disappointingly. "Time to go" As he pulled her body into his embrace.

"It's okay~ as long as you tell me we can come back." Juliet said, a genuine smile on her face. 

"You got it Blondie" 

They separated and Sawyer pulled his jeans on and stuffed their things back into the backpack. Juliet packed the remains of lunch and folded the blanket just as the first drops began to fall. They walked the short ways back to the Jeep as the thunder rumbled. Under the jungle canopy there wasn't much rain but it had gotten much darker.

Juliet paused hesitantly as the lightning flashed all around them. It was only late afternoon but the sky had gone a deep grayish green color. 

"Ya okay?" Sawyer asked noticing her startle. Juliet nodded and arched a brow as another rumble and crack of lightning let out.

"I'd say that's a pretty direct way of nature tellin' us to get the hell out of here ." Sawyer spat as they climbed into the Jeep. 

"Sure wish I'd have taken a van!" He said giving Juliet his best "Oops" expression. Juliet let out a light laugh. 

The walkie crackled to life again." _Hey LaFleur? Juliet? You two alright out there?"_

It was Miles. Juliet took the walkie as Sawyer drove. 

"Miles? We're fine. Maybe 5 minutes out. What's happening? " Juliet inquired wondering why he was at work.

The wind was beginning to pick up and the rain was coming down on them sideways through the openness of the Jeep as creeped through the muddy terrain. Once the hit the open expanse of field and left the cover of the trees they could see that it was much worse than they'd thought.

" _Uh, well. Situation here is... wet... Lightning knocked out... main power transformer. Electrical is out at most of the Dharma stations. Looks like fence security has been intermittently compromised._ " 

Juliet shot Sawyer a look and Sawyer reached over for the radio. A loud crack of lightning shot through air leaving the smell of static. 

"What the hell you mean compromised? Is it on or ain't it?" 

 _"Neg... the main generator is working... The Arrow has no comm... and Stuart is un... .. the Flame. The main pow...control has been... The fence is... We're on high...._ "

"Miles?!" The static sound of the walkie melted into the sound of pouring rain. 

Juliet held a towel up shielding her body from the pelting water as Sawyer passed her the walkie and pulled up to the fence. The floor of the Jeep was now carrying a few inches of water as well as everything else.

"That's just great! Only s'pose to be a little rain they said. It'll be a good day for a picnic they said. No one mentions the possibility of damn hurricane conditions- I'ma have a serious talk with the meteorology station." Sawyer frustratingly swung himself out of the Jeep and flipped the panel for the fence open. An orange light was flashing and it wouldn't allow a code to be entered. 

Juliet watched for a moment then joined him at the fence still attempting the radio on different channels. 

"Is it on or off?" Juliet said-attempting to use her body to wind block as Sawyer knelt down.

"Hell if I know- you ever seen this orange light flashin' before?" Sawyer yelled over the sounds of the storm.

"No."

Sawyer reached in behind the keypad and pulled out a single pair of earplugs. Juliet's eyes grew wide as she gave him the _"You must be kidding!"_ look.

"You have no idea what setting it's on!" She yelled as the thunder rumbled.

  
"It worked for Amy! Look- I'll go through and toss em back to ya... If... I ain't on the ground." Sawyer eyebrows furrowed as he popped the plugs into his ears then looked at Juliet with a "Tah dah" expression before giving her the thumbs up.

"See?! No problem!"

Juliet shook her head and tried the walkie again- it was completely dead- possibly because the water had drenched through pretty much everything.

"James? Remember when I made that dangerous and stupid comment? This is not gunna work! We should wait!" She yelled over another crackle of thunder.

"Can't hear ya but yeh... I think it'll work!" Sawyer shouted back. Juliet sighed as she wiped the rain from her eyes and pushed her hair back. Her fingers were turning a clammy wet texture.

Suddenly a familiar crashing noise grew in the distance. Juliet spun around and then reached over and grasped Sawyer's arm firmly. He looked at her in confusion.

"What?!" He replied-as he ducked his head closer to her unable to hear the approaching sound through the earplugs and the rain pelting against them. The look on her face said it all. Her eyes were wide as she stared out at the tree line across the field. A dark funnel of black smoke emerged and began charging for them through the rain. There was no time. Sawyer glanced in the direction she was facing his jaw going slack.

"Awe, C'Mon! Not again!" Sawyer yelled. As it raced closer- he quickly grabbed Juliet and stepped behind her scooping his arms under hers and bringing them up to the sides of her head-locking his palms tightly over her ears.

"Now or never Blondie! Hang on!" 

Juliet swallowed hard when she realized what he was doing then she clamped her hands over his, tucked her chin down into her chest and squeezed her eyes shut just as he thrust their bodies backwards through the invisible line of the sonar fence. They hit the ground in a heavy wet heap buckled sideways-sliding through the mud- Juliet was tucked slightly under Sawyer as they came to a halt. They both momentarily had the wind knocked out of them. Sawyer opened his eyes first and sat up quickly dragging Juliet backwards with him as he let go of her ears.  She opened her eyes seconds later and bent forward shaking her head as though she'd just gotten and instant headache. Both of them held their breath as the column of black smoke hovered at the sonar line then spread out along it's border just feet from them. Sawyer's head dropped back-and he laughed out loud -thanking the Gods the fence was actually on. Juliet's chest was heaving deeply as she watched the smoke like a deer frozen in the headlights. The black train billowed then stopped in front of them with a few flashes of white light then changed course- heading along the fence line in a different direction until it disappeared once again.

"Wooooo- You okay!? Hell ya-Not today Smokey!!" Sawyer yelled as the adrenaline shot through his body. He redirected his attention to Juliet and let his hands run over her, pushing her wet locks back from her face. 

"Yeah, You?" She replied in a breathy nod, clearly in shock as she turned towards him- her eyes doing a visual check. Sawyer yanked his earplugs out realizing he didn't hear her answer then nodded back- guessing it was the same question.

The two of them stood up- the rain still coming down hard. Sawyer pulled Juliet in as they shielded their eyes and walked slowly to the security building, both in a daze as the wind blew tree debris across the courtyard.

Sawyer pulled the door to the station open and it whipped violently into the wall with a bang.  Miles's face appeared within moments as a mud covered Sawyer and Juliet descended the stairs.

"You made it! How'd you get through the fence? I thought fer sure you were stuck out there, was just about to radio Jin at the rec center to grab some ladders!" Miles commented clearly happy to see them. Sawyer huffed heavily.

"Yeh... we're good- just stoppin' by to let you know... we're back... and to say: What the HELL?!? It's a damn monsoon out there an no one saw it comin'? Aint we got scientists n stuff that are suppose to be predicting this type a thing fore it's too late!?"

Horace stood up, he was finishing a serious toned phone call. As he hung up he gave them an apologetic look and nodded in greeting as he leaned against the counter. "Yes Jim we do, Unfortunately the island has a few unique properties that don't allow for exact forecasting." 

"Yeh yeh... Well, I'll have to get the Jeep when the storm passes. It's sitting outside the pylon by camera 3. If ... you could see camera 3.."Sawyer continued gesturing with a glance past the men, noticing the camera's were down. _Thank God they don't have to explain what just happened._   He looked over at Juliet who also tipped her chin in that direction, silently telling him she also noticed. Sawyer felt his hands shaking a bit as he wiped them down his jeans. He looked at Juliet, she was rocking on her heels clearly cold as well.

"Yeh all the cameras are down. We just have to hope everyone listens to the warning and stays indoors tonight."

"You need me to stay? Otherwise we're gonna had home n get dry" Sawyer continued, referring to himself and Juliet.

"You can go Jim, I think we're under control- matter of fact Miles, you can go now as well- just swing by the rec center for Jin and make sure everything is locked down on your way out-. Now that everyone is secure in the barracks, we don't have anything left to do but wait until the storm clears. "

 Miles nodded and grabbed a few raincoats intending to pass them to Sawyer and Juliet. Juliet let out a light laugh and Sawyer gave Miles a quick sarcastic look before Miles gave the _"Yeh...My bad_ " look and returned all but one of them before slipping it on as they headed up into the rain.

 ......

 

 Sawyer and Juliet walked into the house silently- Sawyer locked the door as Juliet reached for the light-flipping it in vain. The house smelled damp and had a gloomy glow.

"Nothin'?" Sawyer asked as his wet boots thudded heavily to the floor. Juliet shook her head.

"Guess the generator only powers the stations during an outage." Juliet replied as she moved to the kitchen and opened a cupboard pulling out a half dozen candles and a book of matches.

"The hot water should still be working- I'll put these in the bathroom" Juliet said taking most of the candles and disappearing into the bathroom.

Sawyer nodded in acknowledgement as he watched out the window in a stupor as the swing set across the way took a beating- if he didn't know any better he'd think that damn smoke monster was after them... specifically. _Why the hell ain't no one else talkin' about it? or seein' it!?_ Something wasn't right. He sighed heavily and decided that was his next project. "Gather information about stuff he ain't suppose to know." Clearly there was some sort of inner security circle that he was not privy to _yet_. His mind drifted back to Juliet at the waterfall. At least Old Smokey hadn't found them then. She was right - it was a stupid idea. Although, it seemed to have worked because he never dreamed in a million years she'd say it first... out loud. She loved him.  His heart fluttered like a teenager. He turned to listen for her but the shower wasn't on yet. His clothes felt heavy and his body was cold and waterlogged as he moved down the hall and tapped on the door before he pushed it open.

Juliet was standing in front of the mirror still dressed. She tipped her head sadly at him and gave him a weak smile. Her expression clenched his heart. He could see she was beginning to lose hope. The smoke reappearing hadn't helped either of their morales. He stepped in and closed the door. Juliet had lit the candles which reflected as double in the mirrors- creating a soft orange light around her.

"Hey." He whispered reaching to slide his hand up along her jaw.

"Hey." She echoed him, her blue eyes searching his before averting past him to the flickering lights on the counter. 

"I know... We'll figure this all out. I promise. We're okay-better than okay! I love you. Look at me-not a scratch." He said beaming a smile at her. Juliet moved her head further into his palm and looked at him then closed her eyes with a single nod. 

"...and me and the guys- we start on days tomorrow, just like before. We'll get back to searchin' the grid. If Locke is out there, we'll find him. Hell, If he had to do what he said- and get everybody to come back, that could be what's takin' so damn long. I ain't giving up and neither should you." 

Juliet's eyes were instantly glassy. She slowly moved to put her hand on his.

"I've been on this island over 4 years James. It's okay- you can skip the pep talk." She said solemnly.

Sawyer moved in and pressed his forehead to hers with a sigh. Sadly he understood her feeling of having no control. Since he'd been on this damn island he'd done everything he could trying to hold on to some semblance of his. He hoarded, manipulated, stole, lied, murdered... Just about every bad thing a person could do- he did- just to prove he still could. He'd been solely in control of his own life since he was a kid and relinquishing any power at all was extremely hard for him. On the flip side, he also got a strong feeling that Juliet hadn't been in control of any of her own life for a very long time. 

Juliet's eyes closed, soaking in the contact. Sawyer pulled back and glanced around in thought. He slowly reached around his waist and pulled his wet shirt over his head. Juliet watched him silently as he leaned over and turned on the shower. He turned back to face her and took the hem of her shirt, she raised her arms obediently as he pulled it slowly up over her head, letting it slosh beside his to the floor. Juliet rolled her neck. Sawyer stepped in close and Juliet softly reached to unbuckle his pants. It was like a slow dance. She moved to undo her own pants as he finished peeling out of his clothes. He wasn't aroused right now. He just wanted her to know he was there. His hands were wrinkled and calloused but gentle as she turned her back and let her bra slide off her shoulders. Sawyer swallowed as his eyes looked over her chilled flesh. He reached over and dropped his thumbs into her shoulder blades massaging the tension in her neck. She let out a low sigh of relief. His fingers ran down gently across the bruises crossing her back. Juliet felt him hesitate and she rotated back to him reaching to touch his chest sweetly before blinking at him. He bent down pushing the rest of her lower garments off as his thumbs traced over her newly exposed skin. she stepped out of soaked pile, her hand resting on his shoulder as Sawyer stood up, his breath hitching as he moved the shower curtain allowing Juliet to step in as he followed. _God she was beautiful._

Juliet turned to face him, tipping her hair back, eyes closed as the hot water rolled over her features, her shoulders and down the front of her body, her nipples tightened at the sensation and Sawyer watched her, entranced. She turned her body and traded places-allowing him under the spray. Sawyer faced the spray and ran his hands up and down his face, his knuckles burning. He let out and audible sigh as Juliet stepped up and pressed against his back, bending her arms around him from behind, her fingers stroking his pecks. The feel of her naked breasts and abdomen against him instantly made his groin twitch to life. She rested her cheek against him and closed her eyes as the excess water rippled over them and ran between their bodies. The steam was a welcome sensation.

Sawyer turned and Juliet loosened her hold allowing him to face her. As she released him, he reached for the bar of soap and lathered his hands then handed it to her. She let out a soft sigh as she closed her eyes. His palms began to move from her shoulders down her arms. Sawyer swallowed and let out a ragged breath as his hands caressed her milky skin. He paused and Juliet opened her eyes and set down the soap, she took his hands kissing his red knuckles and placed his palms back on her body guiding them over her breasts and around to the small of her back. She could see his arousal and she gave him a shy smile. He closed his eyes apologetically as he turned to allow her to rinse the soap off, he reclaimed the bar and began washing himself as Juliet lathered her hair and smoothed her hands through it, sending waves of bubbles over her curves. She moved to massage the excess soap from her fingers across his pecks and down his abdomen. He stopped her before she reached for his now completely erect member and her eyes met his. He shook his head lightly then turned her to the side, rinsing himself off before reaching to shut off the water. They needed to get dry. He moved the curtain back and handed her a towel while grabbing one for himself. Juliet wrapped the towel around the ends of her hair squeezing the wetness out as she watched Sawyer. He stepped out of the bathtub after tying his towel around his waist and offered her a hand before he reached for another towel and began drying her body. Juliet watched as he moved down one leg and up the other. His eyebrows arched pleasingly as he stroked her torso then slid the towel around her. Juliet's body was relaxed as she took the edges of the towel and tucked them neatly together across her chest

She smiled softly, blinking her eyes slowly in that subtle way that created butterflies in his belly. He knew what she meant. It was a thank you. 

Sawyer sighed, dimples beaming as Juliet opened the door and took him by the hand. She turned and walked backwards as she pulled his torso along with her. He stopped just before they reached the door and let go, turning back into the bathroom. She could hear him puffing out the candles one at a time before the smell of them wafted into the hall. She tipped her chin up and her eyes twinkled at him.

"Now- where were we?" Sawyer said with a seductive growl as he stepped in and pressed himself to Juliet. His lips taking hers dramatically before pulling back with a sigh of contentment. Juliet's crystal eyes fluttered for a moment.

"Seems conversations aren't the only thing we have trouble finishing." She said quietly in a sultry manner as she pulled him back to the bedroom.

Sawyer smirked and let out a breath as Juliet turned him with his back to the bed, dropped her towel and pressed at his shoulders, Sawyer's dimples deepened as he let his eyes watch her and allow her to push him down to the mattress. Juliet crawled up his body slowly, she swooped her wet locks to the side and leaned in kissing him deeply before lightly tugging his lower lip between her teeth as she retracted her body under his touch. His hands were immediately wandering across her and she paused to stop them. He looked at her then smiled as he obediently put his hands up in mock surrender then dropped them beside himself. He wanted nothing more than to touch her but this was one thing he didn't mind giving up control of right now. He watched her feminine form move over him, brushing against him purposefully as she unwrapped his towel and moved down his body, Her hands were stroking his thighs and her lips were dropping kisses in a trail across his abdomen. Juliet loved the soft skin on the inside of his hips and his body twitched in response. She licked her lips as she looked up to him before his eyes closed at the feel their bodies melted together into the gray hue of the room.  

..........

They stayed in bed- under the covers, drifting in an out of sleep to the sounds of pouring rain and howling wind.

Sawyer lay on his back as Juliet used his arm as a pillow. Her breasts resting against his ribs as he caressed gently down her arm. Juliet stirred and her eyes fluttered open. 

"Hi" She whispered sweetly.

"Hi yerself. I wake you?"

She shook her head and slid up a bit, realizing his arm had to have fallen asleep in it's current position.

"Sorry." She said pitching her eyebrows with smile and an _"Oops"_ expression as he let out a groan.

"Ain't nothin'"He said as he adjusted his position. 

"Guess we shoulda just done it yer way after all. Seems we just ended up back here anyhow." Sawyer said huffing out a laugh.

Juliet stretched and then rolled over. It was definitely evening. She started to get up and Sawyer frowned reaching to touch her exposed back as the empty space next to him filled with cool air. She shot him a devilish look stood up then pulled out a pair of panties and his T-shirt from the dresser before padding down the hall to the bathroom.

The phone rang and Sawyer threw himself over to to Juliet's side of the bed to pick it up.

"This is LaFleur. Yeh? Sound's good. O yeh? I'll talk to Juliet. Thanks. Alright. See ya in an hour."

Juliet poked her head back into the bedroom with an inquisitive look on her face. She was wearing James's shirt and running her hairbrush through her wavy hair.

"Everything okay?" She asked.

Sawyer let out a sigh and sat up. "Yup- turns out we're popular... The rains lettin' up a bit and apparently the other side of the barracks has power- so we done been invited to the Bossman's house for dinner."

Juliet looked at him with a touch of surprise "Really?" 

"Yeh really. Turns out Miles n Jin are goin' too. Prolly wouldn't be right to leave em over there stranded for conversation" Sawyer smiled widely. 

  
"No, we wouldn't want to do that." Juliet beamed as she headed back to her dresser for something more appropriate to wear.

 

 

...... 

 


	34. Chapter 34

Sawyer didn't let on that he had an ulterior motive in accepting the invitation to Horace's. He knew that it was Ben's house in the future. The same house that the "Smoke Monster" had emerged from seemingly by command when Keamy and his team had attacked the barracks the day Alex was murdered. He had to know if the passage existed. If it did- chances were pretty good that the Initiative was keeping more than one dark secret from them. 

He and Juliet ran through the courtyard and to the compounds most central grouping of houses. As they stepped onto the porch and out of the rain Sawyer shook himself like a wet dog as Juliet watched with a grin. Juliet had put her hair up into a french bun and she looked radiant as Amy opened the door before they even knocked. 

"Oh great you made it!" She said, mostly to Juliet as she took her hand and pulled her inside. Sawyer followed behind rolling his eyes and playfully crunching his shoulders up like a teenager girl would as Juliet shot him a smile that said _"Be nice!"_  .

"What? I am." he replied out loud with a charming smile as Amy looked back curiously. He really did like Amy, but he couldn't lie she sometimes seemed very old fashioned to him. I guess it made sense... she was born in the 1940's.

The room smelled of baked bread and red meat- which instantly improved Sawyer's mood. Jin and Miles were sitting in the living room awkwardly sipping on Dharma beer as Horace stood up to welcome them.

"Jim, Juliet... Glad you both could make it. Dinner is almost ready. Can I interest you in a refreshment of some kind? Beer? Wine? Water?" Horace said gesturing out the window then snorting at his own joke before moving towards the kitchen. Amy laughed. 

Juliet said her hellos to the guys then automatically moved to help Amy in the kitchen. Juliet paused as she touched the kitchen counter, closing her eyes as a chill ran through her. She hadn't been here since the house belonged to Ben.

"You okay?" Amy asked quietly as she notice Juliet swallow nervously. Juliet smiled and tipped her head.

"Yeah Amy, I'm great. Everything smells delicious. What can I do?" She said quickly changing the topic. Amy pulled out a Dharma beer and then opened the cupboard retrieving a wine glass that matched the one she had poured for herself.

"Choose your poison!" She laughed as she gestured to the drinks. Juliet picked up the wine glass and moved to pour herself some as Horace reached for the beer and passed it to Sawyer, who had a funny expression on his face as he watched Juliet. 

"I heard you two almost got stuck outside the fence today." she breathed out a sigh of relief as she checked a pan of green beans that was cooking on the stove before moving it to a back burner. 

Juliet lowered her head and nodded. "Yeah, It was a little too close for comfort."

Juliet moved through the kitchen like it was her own and pulled out enough place settings for everyone. She looked over curiously when she heard James ask for a house tour.  Juliet's eyes narrowed in suspicion as Sawyer and Horace passed them heading towards the study.

"This is a nice place ya got here H. Even got yer own office n library? Huh." Sawyer said casually as he strode in - reading some of the titles on the shelves. Mostly Mathematics with a few Sci-Fi  books. He noticed a few pictures in frames. One caught his attention. It was Ben Linus, his father Roger and another woman from the school house that he didn't remember the name of. The picture was older. 

"That Roger n his kid?" He inquired.

"Oh yes! I met them off island, the day little Ben was born actually, so tragic. Olivia-is the blonde woman in the picture. She and I are old friends. Well, in all honesty- we were married."

"You sly old dog you! And she's here?"

  
"Yes, she's a teacher, a very capable woman. We met in college- when we were young and presumptuous. Our relations ended on amicable terms- we are still friends. No kids or dramatic complications." His voice was calm and he seemed quite content talking about it.

"Well, I'll be damned." Sawyer purposefully leaned on the bookshelf and jockeyed his body a bit, in an attempt to bump it against the wall as he sipped his beer. Horace gestured for him to follow and Sawyer reluctantly nodded and moved to the next room. 

"Seems bigger from the outside, you got any basement here?" Sawyer inquired. Horace tipped his head and took a drink of his water. Thank goodness he was not great at reading people. 

"Oh no- I think the only sub terrain building in the compound is the security station." He replied as they circled back towards the living room. 

"Is that so?" Sawyer said idly.

Miles gave Jin a look before they both turned their attention to Sawyer as he walked back into the room. They knew Sawyer never asked  something he didn't already know the answer to or at least have a clue about. Miles couldn't deny that he felt weird about being back in this house too. He was at the barracks with Sawyer the day Ben released the beast.

Amy called everyone to the table as she passed the food to Juliet who placed the items on the table. It was probably the nicest meal they'd all had in weeks. At least since before the guys started nights. Everyone chatted and ate politely, they talked about the barracks and up coming events. No one mentioned what was on everyone's mind. There were a few extended silences which Juliet filled by drinking more wine. She felt like they were walking on egg shells. Once dinner finished everyone made their way to the living room. Horace asked if any of them liked board games to which everyone pretty much decided to call it a night. Juliet and Jin helped Amy clear the table. The phone rang and Horace excused himself to his study. Miles pulled Sawyer into entryway and whispered.

"What the hell LaFleur? You're gunna make him suspicious. Asking about the tunnels!"  

"I don't even think he knows it's there. That's all I wanted to know cus I'm almost damn positive it is."

Miles huffed and Juliet glanced over at the guys again. Miles smiled widely and then raised his voice for all to hear.

"Well, I'm pretty beat. Big day tomorrow. Gunna call it a night. Dinner was really good Amy- thank you for having us over."

"Oh you're welcome Miles. I'm sorry you guys probably wont have power until they have access to the damages tomorrow- Don't forget you can always eat in the cafeteria until then."

"Right! It's been awhile since I've been up that early." Miles said with a nod.

"Jin I have this. You don't need to do that." Amy said taking the dishes out of Jin's hands and shoo-ing him from the kitchen. Jin lowered his head with a soft smile.

"Thank you for dinner." He said quietly before moving to put his shoes on next to the door.

Sawyer moved to Juliet in the kitchen and slid up behind her. She smiled and felt her face flush sure that Amy was watching. She'd already had almost 3 glasses of wine. Amy took the towel from Juliet's shoulder and used it to snap Sawyer in the leg. 

"Okay you two." She said with a giddy grin.

"Do you want us to wait for you?" Juliet asked. Wondering if Amy would like the escort since they'd be passing her house on their way home.

"Oh, Uhm. No. I think I'll just stay a bit longer... Thanks though." Amy said back as Sawyer shot her a dimpled squint. 

"Uh Huh." 

.......

When they got home it was pitch dark, Sawyer reached on top of the fridge for the flashlight and headed into the house in search of the candles. Juliet sat down on the couch and tugged her shoes off, kicking her feet up under her as she watched the beam of the flashlight make its way through the house. Sawyer lit the candles in the bathroom then brought 2 out with the flashlight tucked under his arm. He set one on the kitchen table and one on the side table next to Juliet. 

"So, you wanna tell me what that was all about?" Juliet said to him as he set the light beside her.

Sawyer scratched his eyebrow then dropped into the chair to pull of his boots.

"Well, it was a lovely dinner, and I ain't been in his house  yet- so I was curious."

"Really?" Juliet said knowing full well he was with the beach group that had come to the barracks.

"And...?"

"And- as it turns out I learned a lil somethin'. Seems the Chief is _also_ divorced~ and I'm pretty sure he's the reason Baby Ben-ji and his daddy are here."

Juliet wasn't sure which topic to address first. She had asked for this. 

"Huh." She said in generic response. She was pretty sure he wasn't telling her everything but he had successfully turned the tables on her and she was waiting for him to choose their direction.

Sawyer stood up and moved to the fridge- pulling out 2 cans of warm Dharma beer and crossed back to the chair. He had only had 2 and was pretty sure Juliet was way ahead of him. She was reaching that glossy eye'd stage where her eyelids got heavy and the corner of her mouth tightened into a tiny permanent smile.

"Okay- Look. I was just tryin to feel the man out- see if I made him nervous or if he'd accidentally let out any information. The man was cool as a cucumber"

"How do you know he wasn't just lying?" Juliet asked as she took one of his beers and cracked it open. Sawyer tipped his head with a huff, he hadn't expected her to keep on drinking.

"You sure that's a good idea GoldiLocks? Not that I ain't around to hold yer hair back later but..."Sawyer teased.  Juliet in turn-arched a brow, shot him a defiant _"don't tell me what to do look"_ and tipped the drink back- drinking it longer than necessary to make a point that she could handle it.

"Woah, Alright alright. Throttle back there Turbo. I wasn't tryin' to offend." He winked at her and raised his can before taking an equally long chug of his beer.  Juliet burped silently as the back of her hand moved up to politely cover her mouth.

"Right, now where was I? O yeh. I ain't sure if he was lyin' _yet_ but I get the feelin' he don't distrust me so that's good. S'long as that door ain't closed I think I gotta chance at makin' myself very useful to him." 

"I'm sorry." Juliet replied simply. 

"Why? I ain't, if it helps us- it's worth it." He said confused by her statement.

"I'm sorry you still have to pretend to be someone else. It's unfair to you. You didn't ask for this- we just kind of..." Juliet shrugged and tried to read his expression in the candle light. 

  
"Yeeeeah, well I know when my services are needed. What the hell were we gunna do otherwise? I started lyin for a livin' before you were outta Middle School-it don't bother me none." 

Sawyer rolled his neck and let out a sigh. Juliet sipped her beer and silently watched him. 

"I ain't sayin I never been caught. I spent almost a year in prison 'fore I crashed on this rock. But... you already knew that." He said realizing the obvious.

"I did." Juliet smiled softly closing her eyes in confirmation. 

  
"How's it that yer with me? Knowin' all the things I done. How'd an educated beautiful woman like you ever fall for a swindlin' high school drop out like me?"

"Because I believe in you, James. You.. are a... protector and underneath, we're the same. We both just want to be loved." Juliet said honestly.

Sawyer was actually a bit speechless that she'd just compared them. He was also a little flattered. He took another drink before the words fell from his mouth.

"A protector huh? Well, shucks-I ain't that way for everyone Sweetheart"  He said sarcastically grinning at her.

"Why are you... With me? My people tortured you, kidnapped you, shot you. Why'd you change your mind?" She asked, truly curious.

"Started the day you came back to the beach with me, when you lied to Jack. Somethin' in yer eyes, a little sadness, a lil wiseass-ness. Dunno what it was but - I got a genuine feelin' that day that _they_ weren't anymore your people than they were mine. Plus, I learned you weren't screwing Jack so... that was a bonus." He added sarcastically.

Juliet let out a breath. She had actually been scared to death that day. James shot Tom dead in front of her after she had him surrendered at gunpoint. Juliet had almost thought the bullet had gone through her. Her chest tightened at the memory. She nodded at his reference then released a piece of the truth.

"I was just coming out of a relationship. Wasn't really good timing, to be "screwing Jack"." Juliet bit back before letting her eyes drifted to the floor in thought.

"Ben?" Sawyer asked seriously. Juliet really couldn't be mad- he didn't know anything except what he'd seen and she really hadn't told him anything about Ben. She tipped her head forward and touched her fingers to her mouth, letting out a huff.  Her eyes met his. 

"No, no- Not Ben. I was _never_ _with_ Ben. His name was Goodwin. He worked at The Tempest, and helped Ethan in the operating rooms. He was a good man. When Ben found out about us, he sent him to the tail section of the crash. He never made it back." Juliet's voice faded into the air. Sawyer could tell she had cared about him. He nodded in understanding.

  
"Ben had him killed him cus he was jealous..." Sawyer leaned back in contemplation as Juliet silently shot him a look that told him he was right. Her eyes were sad. He stood up and swung himself over next to her dropping a palm on her thigh and rubbing it comfortingly. 

 

"Glad you told me. It does fill in a few blanks. Bout you tryin' to kill the man, and the side flippin', them ditchin' ya - all that." Sawyer said idly listing off a few things he'd theorized about before. She was just as much a prisoner as he had been but Ben's cage around her was psychological. He'd only lasted days before the mind games broke him. He couldn't imagine 3 years. He looked over. Juliet was fading. Her eyes were closing heavily.

 

"To bed?" He questioned her. She nodded and dropped her feet back to the floor allowing Sawyer to pull her up. She smiled as her balance adjusted and Sawyer shook his head.

"C'mon slugger."

 

.....

James was gone when Juliet opened her eyes. The skies outside were still a dreary grayish color and she had no idea what time it was. Juliet headed to the bathroom to begin her normal routine. The power was still out. She took her daily little white pill, brushed her teeth and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. Normally she would have started a pot of coffee but the only way she was getting coffee today was by campfire and kettle or heading over to the cafeteria. Juliet got dressed and slipped on her shoes. As she walked the short ways to the cafeteria she could now see some of the damages that the high winds and rain had caused the night before.  There were actually a lot of people out. Sometimes Juliet was quite surprised by how many people were actually in the Dharma Initiative. She smiled politely and nodded in greeting. She walked into the cafeteria and several heads turned. She hadn't been here in awhile and she didn't recognize anyone really.. After pouring herself a coffee and grabbing an apple, Juliet headed back outside.  Amy was on her porch talking to someone that Juliet recognized from the maintenance crew. Amy waved her over. 

  
"Hey you! You busy today? Wanna play clean up with me? I'd love the help and the company. Be just like old times."  
Juliet smiled at Amy and her guest. 

"Yeah, sure- Sounds good. I do need to swing by and make sure James was able to get the Jeep from the fence this morning too, if that's alright."

  
"Of course!. O Juliet, this is Sam. He's part of the clean up crew." Amy said in haste realizing she forgot to introduce the guy.

Juliet shook his hand. 

"Nice to meet you. Juliet from the Motor Pool?" He asked casually.

Juliet gave a nod and arched a brow in embarrassment.

"Sorry.  I'm a friend of Kevin's. Just heard about what happened is all. I don't mean to be nosy. I'm an idiot. " 

Juliet pursed her lips in amusement.

"I appreciate your honesty, Sam. Most everyone else just whispers and points." Juliet smiled trying to make light of it.

"Well-ladies, if you'll excuse me, I'm gunna go get started, see you two around. It was pleasure to meet you.

He nodded  at Juliet and gave Amy a soft salute before heading off across the courtyard. Amy turned to her with a slight look of worry.

"I never got a chance to talk to you about that. Last night didn't feel like the right time. I'm sorry. I still feel like it's partly my fault for not saying something sooner. About Bill. If something would've happened to you because of it. I'd just never forgive myself."

"Amy~Please don't. I'm fine- _lookit me? not a scratch_." Juliet blinked sweetly as she tossed James comment from last night over to Amy. Amy reached an arm around Juliet and gave her a squeeze. Juliet pulled back a little and stared at a nearby puddle then looked at Amy.

"Why is Bill at the Hydra Amy?" She asked. Amy clearly wasn't prepared for the question but Juliet got the feeling she did know something.

"Uh... Okay, I did not tell you any of this, got it?" She whispered as she turned to angle towards her house after glancing up at the nearest camera. Juliet nodded and turned inward as well.

"Apparently, there's a program over there- it's like therapy for people suffering from PTSD or something. I guess Bill was in Vietnam a few years back and they think that's why he kinda lost it. That's all I know."

"Thank you, I won't say word." Juliet said honesty as she swallowed then gave a weak smile. 

"Sure. Well, we should probably see what we can do before it decides to rain again." Amy said glancing up at the sky with a wrinkle in her nose.

Juliet nodded and sipped her coffee as the two of them stepped off the porch and headed towards the school to see what needed to be done. 

 

 


	35. Chapter 35

Sawyer woke up gently to the distant rumble of thunder. His arm automatically reaching for the space beside him. He could see Juliet's silhouetted form through the darkness. He released a grateful sigh as his hand lightly came in contact with the curve of her waist as she slept facing away from him. He felt her steadily breathing and closed his eyes.

He lay there considering their conversation from the night before. He was actually very relieved to know Juliet and Ben hadn't had any sort of romantic relationship. Juliet hadn't said much but the look on her face told him that Ben definitely had feelings for her that were never reciprocated. He felt a strange guilty pang and wished he'd paid more attention to Juliet or even to Ben back when they had first met. The only thing he was focused on back then had been Kate. _Kate_... Sawyer groaned- He'd been such a tool. But then again- Jack had been hovering over Juliet like moth to a flame. He didn't suppose _The Doc_ woulda let him within 10 feet of her when she'd first arrived, and now he understood why.  He sighed as he realized that Jack knew from the beginning not to push Juliet- he knew _her_ better and it sort of pissed him off that getting to know Juliet had come so easily to Jack.  Clearly she had been attracted to him. He shook the thought of the two of them kissing as he glanced back at them on the hillside that day that Juliet left with him to head back to the beach. The only thing he cared about back then was that Kate didn't go with him. He blinked in thought as it occurred to him that Juliet would've been a hell of a lot safer with Jack but she still went with him voluntarily, alone. _"Karma"_ pfft. yeh. Some karma he was- Look where that had gotten them.

There was a lot more he wanted to know. He sometimes seriously disliked the fact that he wasn't the type to "let shit go" Hell- if he were, he wouldn't be on this damn island in the first place. It also bothered him that Jack's approach with Juliet had been more effective than his. Of course Jack was more mature-not older but he was educated and Sawyer was pretty sure he had been married. He remembered sizing Jack up after the plane crashed, trying to determine if he was a threat. He had also made a mental note of the white ring mark around Jack's finger where a band once was. That's what Sawyer did- he picked up the details. Why was this so much harder with Juliet?  Even when he had noticed questionable things about her she was the queen of misdirection. He was either wrong or shut down. He had gotten better though, with everyone. The past few months had been crazy and amazing and he had to admit that he was learning to not force topics. Even with Jin and Miles- There were certain things he just kinda left off the table. With Miles- it was his parents. With Jin, Sun and the baby. It didn't take him long to realize these people were the closest thing to family he'd ever had and he was finding it was important to him not to damage what they all had. Was it possible he was growing up? Finally settling into a life with people he could trust?

His brow furrowed a bit at the thought of what he'd do if Juliet decided that she'd rather be without him. Pre-island Sawyer would've thrown up his hands and walked away with not another care in the world- "Next!" That wasn't the case anymore. He honestly didn't know what his stubborn ass would do. Not so very long ago he had been quite the womanizer, hell he'd even had sex on the island with Ana Lucia- just that one time for no other reason than to do it. His past was shrouded in numerous flings and one night stands. His face dropped expression as it also hit him that he had been truly alone that entire time. He hadn't cared about any of them at all, not until Cassidy and even then- there was a limit he wouldn't allow himself to exceed.

Sawyer found it interesting that since they arrived in Dharmaville that no other women had even mildly peeked his interest the way Juliet did. He guessed it was the idea that everyone was "old enough to be his parents" even if they appeared the same age. It was also hard to overlook the fact that these people were not going to be going back to the future with them. Sawyer decided early that it would be easier if he kept them in a "hands off" category. It was comfortably weird. He had to admit he didn't really even want to try to get to know anyone outside his group if he didn't have to. Sure, he occasionally got the wink from Heather in records- or maybe he saw a few of the ladies grouped up at lunch smile as he passed by but it was different. His mind was always on this blonde that lay beside him. He was pretty sure Miles didn't feel the same as he did. He was constantly askin' if he'd noticed "so-and-so" or what he thought of some of the single ladies in Dharmaville. Guess it was different though. He wasn't even born yet.

Juliet sighed sweetly in her sleep and rolled to her back. Sure, Juliet could be stubborn but she kept him grounded. He was able to be himself- to breathe. She loved him like she was going to lose him and it made his heart want her even more. Sawyer's hand casually slid off of her and he decided that was his cue to get up and see what time it was. He squinted as he watched her sleep, realizing that neither of them had had any bad dreams. They were better together. It was like the physical presence of the other kept the demons at bay. Sawyer was glad to be back on days, things could only get easier now that Billy Boy was gone. He quietly rolled up and out of bed, got dressed and stopped one last time to look at Juliet before heading off to work.

.....

 

Sawyer swung by the cafeteria to check the time and picked up an egg sandwich then headed to the security building. He was almost an hour early but it didn't matter- he was awake and it was better than being late. The security station was a buzz with a mix of night and day crew. Apparently he wasn't the only one would figured that today would be a busy day. Phil was on the phone with the power station and Jerry was sitting in a raincoat by the coffee maker. Miles and Jin had also just arrived. 

"Stuart left a checklist for you guys- suppose to rain a bit later but nothin' like yesterday. It's been a long, boring, soggy, cold night- so good morning and good night." Jerry said sleepily as he pointed at the counter where a binder of papers lay before turning and dragging himself up the stairs.

Miles poured himself a coffee and silently gestured if anyone else would like one. Both Jin and Sawyer nodded and Miles poured two more as they listened to Phil.

"Alright go head."

The lights in the station flickered briefly and Phil drug the phone cord over to the monitor banks. 4 cameras came on- static filled at first then slowly clearing into viable footage.

"That's some of them, yeah 1-4 are up. Keep working on the fence. I'll have LaFleur take over- I'm heading out. K- I'll probably be back early- I just need a few hours." Phil said to whoever was on the other line before ending his conversation and hanging up.

"So- power is back up at about half of the stations outside the fence- the list is there." Phil said pointing to a bulletin board on the wall with a map of the islands stations- there were red and blue push pins in it marking which had power and which didn't.

 "Stuart is working with The Arrow and The Flame. Horace will be running clean up here in the barracks. Hopefully all the housing will have power by the time I wake up. Start with the list. " Phil sighed heavily then grabbed his things and headed out. 

"No problemo Groucho, we'll see ya in a few hours." Sawyer said slapping Phil on the shoulder as he passed.

Miles waited for Phil to leave then slid over and started messing with the dials on the monitors. 

"Well, ain't this just peachy" Sawyer said sarcastically as he walked over to the map on the wall. It definitely had more red pins than blue and Sawyer let out a sigh. 

Jin picked up the check list from the counter, nodding to himself as he read it silently before speaking.

"I will start by checking all main barracks buildings" He said pointing at the list and grabbing a raincoat.

"I'll call the power station, get the rest of these cameras up." Miles said sliding his chair loudly across the floor and reaching for the phone.

"Guess I'll go get the Jeep and run the fence perimeter make sure it's all secure and whatnot" Sawyer scowled as he opened the gun locker and pulled out rifle and a walkie.

 .......

Sawyer walked out to the fence warily. He stared through the pylons across the field, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he looked for any signs of movement. At least there was no rain and all was quiet. The fence was up and running sans the cameras and he approached the control panel. He was pleased to see the orange light from yesterday was no longer flashing as he punched in the code. He crossed over and reached into the Jeep to turn the key, which was still in the ignition- the engine stuttered but wouldn't turn over. _"Of course it's dead you idiot!_ " he groaned. He stepped back through the fence and reset the code before turning back and heading to the Motor Pool. He walked into the garage though the big doors as Kevin walked in simultaneously from the side. Kevin arched a brow at Sawyer.

"Heyo-LaFleur. You broke my Jeep didn't ya?" He said after reading the frustrated look on Sawyer's face. 

Sawyer sighed heavily running his hand through his hair.

"Yeh, gunna need a hand gettin' it back from the fence. Ya gotta a few minutes for a tow?" 

"Sure thing man- Hey Jess, I'm gunna take the number 8 van for a bit- help LaFleur get the number 4 back." Kevin said as he picked up his cigarettes and grabbed a set of keys from a hook near the tool counter. Jesse stepped out of the supply room and nodded.

"It's c...cool. I'll have a look at it when ya get it back. Hopefully just a dead b..battery or something." Jesse replied as he waved nervously at LaFleur and walked over to start yanking a heavy chain out of a barrel.

"Thanks twitchy." Sawyer said coolly.

Kevin tossed the chain into the back of the van and hopped in- Sawyer climbed in the passenger side and they headed back out to the fence.

"So- minus the rain. Things went pretty well? Juliet seemed pretty rattled the other day. Glad you two got away for a little while while all the shit was goin' down with Bill."

"Yeh- Juliet can usually hold her own but I ain't upset that you were here when he showed up."

"Sorry I gave ya a Jeep- they said rain but no one mentioned it would be that bad man- figured you'd be back long before it started."

Sawyer stared out the window and his nose wrinkled a bit.

"Don't worry about it, ain't yer fault, unless you yer the guy in charge of the weather." Sawyer said looking over at Kevin as he adjusted the rifle, leaning it casually against his knee.

"Ha- that I am not, man. That I am not." Kevin smiled.

The drove the few minutes to the fence in silence. They arrived back at the fence and got out- Kevin had pulled the van up backwards towards the front end of the Jeep and he and Sawyer worked to hook the chain to the bumper.

"Wanted to thank ya for what happened with _The Cowboy_ the other day. I know Juliet already said it but- yeh..." Sawyer nodded honestly as he took a second to put the rifle into the Jeep.

He really liked this guy for some reason. He was honest but not pushy. Kevin took a second to figure out who the nick name was for then sighed in acknowledgement then lit himself a cigarette before leaning on the van bumper and offering one to Sawyer. Sawyer felt his mouth water and closed his eyes...

"Nah brother, I quit awhile back. Ain't you heard? Those things'll kill ya" He said - secretly proud of himself for not succumbing to his old habit. Kevin let out a light laugh and puffed for a minute then continued.

  
"I haven't been here too long so I didn't know they had history. Bill and Juliet. I woulda had a closer eye on things if I knew, Juliet's a genuinely sweet person. She reminds me of my sister back home. Don't know that she's beautiful which makes her even more so. Ya know?" Sawyer contemplated Kevin's words and had to admit-for not knowing her long. He was right. He said it so matter of factually that Sawyer had to let out a laugh himself as he pictured Juliet's reaction to someone giving her that compliment. 

"Jesse told me a bit about what happened before I got here. Pretty scary shit. The situation with the "hostiles" and all. I kinda had a feelin' about Bill's crush on her but didn't know he had a fucked up mean streak. He always seemed pretty casual whenever I worked with him. But yeh- there was always a weird tension between them now that I look back on it. Hopefully Bill gets the help-those army guys have seen too much. Makes me glad I dodged the draft man. Well not really dodged...Turns out I'm flat-footed and didn't qualify to be sent into Viet-hell but you'll never hear me complain."

Sawyer arched a brow and had to admit he was happy to hear Juliet reminded him of his sister. Kevin finished his smoke and Sawyer climbed into the wet Jeep- growling as he felt his pants soaking through. Kevin started the van and Sawyer did his best to steer the Jeep as the chain yanked it roughly back towards the garage.  

The day went pretty well after that, to be honest, Sawyer was glad to not be trapped indoors staring at blank monitors all day or having been forced to check every building in the barracks for issues. 

..........

Sawyer grabbed lunch at the cafeteria, which was packed with people that still had no power. Jin was on the far side of the room at a full table with his clipboard and Sawyer gave him a nod before heading out. He had hoped to see Juliet but didn't. He heard that she was out with Amy when he was walking home to change out of his wet clothes and ran into Horace down near the dock. He brought a sandwich and an apple back to Miles and was glad to see all but 2 cameras working.

"Hey, good job _Data_. Looks like you done better in just a few hours than Phil did all night. " Sawyer commented as he returned his walkie and rifle to their homes.

"Yeh thanks." Mills said rolling his eyes.

 

"Brought ya lunch, cafeteria is a mad house.  What's the word on the stations outside the fence?" Sawyer said as he moved back over to the map on the wall. It now had more blue than red pins which meant most the Dharma stations outside the barracks were fully operational again.

"Better than before, only a few left to check in. Everything is so slow man- I don't know how people survived with so little technology." Miles said irritably.

Sawyer huffed in amusement.

"So-you and Juliet? Things getting back to good?" Miles inquired as he nodded in thanks for the food and unwrapped his sandwich.

"Think so. Yeh. I ain't sleepin' on the couch if that's what yer askin'" Sawyer grinned. Miles shook his head. 

"Lucky. bastard. You guys got dinner plans? The cafeteria will probably be nuts if the power doesn't come back on- maybe we can grab some beers an head to the rec center- ya know, for old times sake?" 

"Huh, Well Ghengis if I didn't know any better I'd think you missed hangin' out with us." Sawyer replied in a snarky manner.

Miles sighed. "Jin's a good guy but I feel bad takin' all his money at poker- I miss Juliet really, but you can come too, I guess." Miles added stoically.

"Ah, there's that dry sense of humor. We miss you guys too buddy~ Pretty sure we ain't got nothin' better to do."

"It'll be good for you- ya know, socializing for a change? Plus it's like Halloween in a few days and you need practice not scaring everyone off with your ugly mug" Miles said sarcastically.

"Hmmph. Well if it gets busy we can just bust out the candles n hold a seance - maybe you can conjure up the ghost of Marilyn Monroe in preparation for the _day of the dead_... or somethin'" Sawyer replied matching Miles's enthusiasm.

"Ha...ha... That's not how it works." Miles said with an annoyed sigh

Sawyer poured himself a coffee and stared at the map on the wall again... His dimples dented into his cheeks as he noticed The Hydra was still marked red. He wasn't sure if that meant they had no power or that they hadn't been heard from yet. He was aware that they had their own security systems and generator on the island and hoped it was just overlooked. 

The phone rang and Sawyer took a step over to answer it.

"LaFleur here.- Sonofabitch. Alright- I'll grab Miles and head that way as soon as Jin gets back. Yeh yeh gimme 20 minutes- I'll go get him.  channel 2. K."

Miles's eyes grew wide as he shook his head inquiringly silently asking. _"Well? What?"_

Sawyer hung up the phone and dumped the rest of his coffee before heading over to retrieve his gun and walkie once again.

"LaFleur?!"

"It was Stu. They found a body."

 


	36. Chapter 36

Juliet spent most of the morning picking up debris around the barracks and helping make food in the kitchen attached to the cafeteria. Amy had just left and Juliet was exhausted as she watched the lunch rush fade out. The room had mostly vacated sans a few lingering Dharma workers near the entrance and one face she knew well. Jin's. He was studying a checklist from the security station while sitting at a table alone in the back of the cafeteria.

"Hey...How's it looking out there? Is there any hope?" She said gently as she sat down next to him.

"There is always hope." Jin replied politely.

"Things with you and Sawyer... okay?" He said turning his body towards her.

"Yeh-thank you... I'm trying... to let him in and... I'm terrified of letting him in. Nothing new" Juliet said with a nervous smile as she tipped her chin then stared at the table in thought as her fingers moved up to play with her earlobe. Juliet loved how easy Jin was to talk to, maybe because she knew he didn't always fully understand her. There was comfort in his simplicity and directness.

"He know about Bill now- that is good. Less worry. You tell him about- Edmund Burke?"

Juliet shook her head and made a pinched expression before letting a breath fall from her mouth. She'd told Miles and Jin about Ed, well she told them enough... about Ed- Juliet wasn't one to drag on about the details-partly because she preferred to not have to think about them. Both of the guys had been shocked at first but thankfully supportive. She appreciated them more than they knew for not judging her actions or treating her like a broken doll.  

"He knows a bit, but not... _everything._ " Juliet said quietly. She once again hear Bill in the back of her mind.  "I don't think the details will help. Either way I lose"

"Not your fault. Details hurt.  Is okay - Sometimes hurt is only way to move forward. You don't lose. You win or you learn. Both good." Jin said softly placing a hand on Juliet's.

She closed her eyes with a smile. She knew Jin was probably right. It was something she had banked on about his personality back when she was trying to get Sun to stay on the beach so she would be able to get off the island. Juliet felt a pang of guilt as she recalled informing Jin about Sun's affair before they had crashed here. Juliet nodded in agreement and stood up.

"How did you get so wise?" Juliet blinked sweetly and leaned over touching her hand to Jin's shoulder.

Jin looked up "I learn... by being hurt" he replied resting his hand on hers again and giving a nod. Juliet sighed.

"See you at dinner?"

Jin nodded and Juliet headed out the door and back home.

There were a few children playing on a nearby swing set and Juliet smiled widely at them and waved. She really did like children. Clearly, she hadn't gotten into the fertility business without wanting to help people bring these beautiful little humans into the world in the hopes that they would make it a better place. She paused for a moment and watched them squealing and splashing through the residual mud puddles. She gently crossed her arms in front of herself and rolled back on her heels letting out a sweet laugh. Her mind drifted to Julian and even further back to her life with Edmund. _"Everything happens for a reason."_  She told herself as her smile faded.

........

_They lay in bed on a lazy Sunday morning facing one another. Edmund traced his fingers up her arm._

_"You're a beautiful woman Dr. Burke. I must be the luckiest man in Miami"_

_Juliet leaned down and pulled his fingers up, kissing them softly. He stared at her for a moment then shifted closer, his face a mix of excitement and seriousness._

_"Jules? Now that you have a solidified position at the company and things are settling, I thought maybe we should start thinking about... you know? Having a little bundle of joy for ourselves. One that isn't created in a lab ." He said pushing her hair back over her shoulder. Juliet's body froze and her eyes darted past Ed and into the blank wall- the corner of her mouth twitched._

_"Oh." She breathed._

_Juliet's nervous nature took over and she slid upright, taking the sheets with her as she brought a leg up, leaning her elbow on it and touching her face delicately. Clearly she wasn't ready for this conversation. They' hadn't even been married for a year but everything had been going so well._

_"Am I wrong that I want that for us?"  he said evenly._

_"No. no... I... I guess I hadn't really thought about it- this soon." Juliet replied in an honest, quiet apologetic tone._

_"I see." he replied flatly- his eyebrows narrowed as though he'd just assumed she would want what he did._

_"Ed, please. Don't be upset. I do... want to. I've spent the last 8 years of my life trying to get to where I am now in my career, I'm just starting to break major ground in my research. I've got 3 new case trials starting in a month and...The timing doesn't feel right." She said carefully, trying not to smother his ego._

_Edmund rolled to his back and withdrew his hand. He let out a heavy sigh as he stared at the ceiling fan._

_"and..." Juliet paused._

_"and Rachel." He finished for her. Juliet gave him a pained look and tipped her head._

_"You're being too sensitive Jules. Rachel will understand. You can't put your life on hold just because she's fallen ill."_

_"No, I know. You're right. I'm not choosing her or work over you. Please don't think of it that way."_

_"But..." He continued for her again._

_"But, I  need to be sure, I'm so sorry- would you hate me if I said I'm not ready?"_

_He turned his back, pushed himself up in a fluid motion and dropped his legs over the side of the bed. Keeping his back to her. He half turned his head over his shoulder as he replied._

_"We can talk about it again another time." He said stoically, ending the conversation as he stood up and headed to the bathroom, shutting the door._

_Juliet tucked her other leg up to her chin as well and hugged her legs. It was the first time since she'd been married that she felt unsure about herself._

_......_

Ed didn't speak to her for over a week and it was not long before he started to change. He started growing distant. Juliet understood that he was a bit older than her and she was sure that was why he was disappointed. Unfortunately it was one of the topics they never talked about before they married. She had felt so guilty that she didn't think that far ahead before. It wasn't that she didn't want a baby. She just didn't want one right away. Juliet kicked herself for having been such easy prey when it came to relationships. She gave her heart so quickly to him and he'd used it against her to the bitter end. She had even considered agreeing with it all after their first anniversary just to try to save their marriage. Of course once the proverbial shit started to hit the fan, Juliet could only be secretly glad things worked out the way they had- though at the time she didn't see anything good about her situation. The learning curve with Ed was obvious after her birth control pills disappeared 2 weeks into her cycle for 2 months in a row. After the first time Juliet started keeping a back-up pills at her desk at work. After the second time, Ed started drinking more. She should've confronted him about it but Juliet wasn't that person back then. She just fixed it herself and hoped he would come around. Work kept her busy and he backed off a bit and went on a sweet streak when she'd made her first publication. The money started coming in for her to continue her course of research and Edmund clearly saw her as profitable in different way. 

Juliet's mind was brought back to the present by an unmistakable little red head that ran towards the swings, only a toddler, she had piercing pale blue eyes that could only belong to Charlotte. Juliet's expression faded into sadness. Her eyes glossed over and her mind drifted to Daniel. Had he given up? Juliet shook the thought from her mind knowing he probably couldn't.  She sighed and turned back towards her house making a mental note to herself to talk to Amy about volunteering at the school house again after the new year. She had been avoiding a poor 10 year old version of Ben for too long. After all he was just an innocent kid. 

 

........

Sawyer and Miles arrived at The Arrow. Two men in matching khaki Dharmaville jumpsuits met them- one moved automatically to the back of the van and retrieved the black body bag that they were told to bring from the medical station. The other greeted them solemnly and led the way down a steep embankment towards the northeast beach. When they reached the sand they saw Stuart standing over a bloated corpse of a man talking on a portable telephone, the cord wrapped around and attached to a metal backpack that looked like a military communications device with an antenna sticking out of it. Sawyer guessed he was using it as a secure line rather than a walkie talkie because it couldn't be accidentally overheard by "the enemy" aka "the hostiles".

 

"Well- Horace I think it IS important. We can't just leave him here for _them_ to find. We didn't kill him but they won't believe that. The cameras on this area were down the entire time so there's no way of knowing what happened. Plus, they aren't even suppose to know about The Arrow. Do you really want a repeat of what happened last year?"

Sawyer's brow furrowed as they moved closer. He recognized the man's attire, a simple military style outfit. _"Great!"_ He thought to himself as he let out an exasperated sigh. 

"I Understand this situation calls for the utmost care and secrecy."

Miles and Sawyer exchanged a look. Miles stopped walking about 6 feet from the body- his eyes closed and his brows angled in concentration. Sawyer kept walking as he looked out at the span of ocean in front of them. There it was. _The Hydra_ he thought as he frowned at the small island cropping out of the perfect water. 

"And how do you propose he got all the way over here? He clearly drown but he wouldn't have been able to swim far enough to wash up here so fast- not in the storm last night. Something isn't right."

Sawyer soaked up as much information as he could and squinted curiously as he watched Miles turn away. The two men that had met them at the van dropped the black bag and roughly shifted the body over onto it and tucked his limbs inside as though they'd done this before. One of them ducked his face into his shirt as though he might puke from the smell that was starting to rise.

"All right- I'll put together a team, we wont know any answers until we get there. Get me someone from the power station to go over with security. For now, we need to keep this quiet. The best way to do that is to get rid of the body."

Sawyer waited for the men to zip the bag most of the way before moving in and bending down to get a look at the guys face. He let out a breath when he realized that though this guy didn't look exactly the same- he recognized him. It was one of the four men that he and Juliet had run into when they went to talk to Richard. His eyes where open, an intense dark brown. The radio man that Juliet had knocked the wind out of. He was sure of it. He looked at Miles with a deep crease running through his forehead. _"What the hell was this guy doing over on the Hydra Island?"_

"I'll get back to you, LaFleur just arrived. Yeh. Got it." Stuart tucked the receiver into his waist band and gave both Sawyer and Miles a look of uncertainty.

"Well, so much for _no casualties_ from the storm." He said wiping his brow with his sleeve before adjusting his glasses and stepping up next to the body and looking at it in disgust. 

"You gunna tell me what the hell _one of them_ was doin' on the wrong damn island Stu- or are we just here to tag and bag him?" Sawyer said irritably.

"Calm down now- There's a certain circle of trust here LaFleur- Horace clearly thought it was time you were both brought in a notch or you wouldn't be here. So let me explain what needs to happen."

Miles arched a brow with a look of seriousness as he stepped closer- pretending to have no real interest. Sawyer stood up and let out a sigh.

"There's a place over there that The Initiative has set up for "situations" that might arise with the hostiles. It contains a room with the capabilities of... shall we say - disrupting certain brain functions and causing low level amnesia."

Miles face contorted. "You're brainwashing them?"

"Well now Miles. We prefer to call it ensuring the safety of our Dharma stations and its team members" Stuart said matter of factually.

"So this guy stumbled upon a station he ain't suppose to know about and _we_ take it upon ourselves to make sure he don't remember it- then we send em back home?"

"Yes, it has worked at least 5 times now without territorial repercussions from the the hostiles. The men disappear for a day then reappear closer to their own lines without knowing how they got there. They usually pick up flu like symptoms and it's forgotten, dismissed as a simple viral infection.  No one has ever died before being returned... until now. So as you can see- this is a serious matter."

"Sonofabitch... And I s'pose no one's able to reach the island and find out what the hell is goin' on? ." Sawyer spat.

"True. That's where you come in."

Sawyer's head dropped. Juliet was gunna kill him. Miles's eyes widened.

"Wait... what? you want us to go over there?"

  
"I can't very well send the night crew can I? You'll meet back here at 0500, we'll have someone who can get the comms back up heading over with you. You can inform Jin that he should go with you and Horace and myself will be monitoring the barracks while you are gone. This could be a very good career move if things work out well over there LaFleur. You will be heading the team."

Stuart gestured for the two men to follow him and they picked up the body heading up towards station and off the beach.

"Juliet is gunna killlll you. This is bad. So bad."

"Sonofa.... YEH. Thanks for the vote of confidence Enos." Sawyer huffed as they turned back towards the van. 

 


	37. Chapter 37

The sky had been overcast and sunless most of the day but Sawyer imagined it was about dinnertime. He knew Juliet would be wondering where they were.

"Well, he definitely drowned." Miles stated flatly after a long silent drive back to the barracks. 

"Yeh Capt. Obvious? He give you any _useful_ information?" Sawyer said his brow furrowed. Miles looked over at him blankly then tried to explain.

"They don't always have something to say. Sometimes I just get feelings, impressions. Other times, I get words or flashs through their eyes of what happened. It's random man- it isn't an exact science. If it were, I'd be rich and I would be sitting in a limo with a beautiful woman in Las Vegas and not stranded in 1974 in a VW bus with you." Miles was clearly becoming agitated and Sawyer pursed his lips, looking at him sideways.

"Ok, Stardust, ain't no need to get all uppity... I get it.  Yer sayin' dead guys don't follow ya around like Patrick Swayze in _Ghost_ and sing "Henry the 8th, I am" over and over til' you do their bidding. Message received." Sawyer replied with a touch of sarcasm before looking over at Miles and his unimpressed expression.

"You're an ass LaFleur. Look-I'll try again tomorrow when we go back. Which by the way - in case I didn't mention... is a bad idea"  Miles repeated. Sawyer's eyes narrowed and he sighed apologetically.

"I know, I know. What the hell ya want me to do? Tell em "Naw~ I think we'll pass on this crisis. You go 'head- we'll take the next one"  Maybe it's a test. We ain't gotta choice the way I see it." Sawyer huffed.

The walkie cracked.

" _Miles or Jim? Are you on this channel?_ " Horace's voice broke through.

Miles reached up onto the dash board and grabbed the walkie. 

"This is Miles, What can we do for you Horace?"

_"Just wanted to make sure you, Jim and Jin stop by to go over the details of tomorrow once you arrive back."_

"Sure thing Boss."

_"Great, Sure do appreciate it-we will be meeting at my house at 8."_

"Copy that."

" _Oh right, Radio lingo-Affirmative- over and out"_ Horace said awkwardly.

........

They pulled the van up to the Motor Pool and walked back to the security station. It was dark and their shift had been over for a few hours. Phil was there, back on the phone working to get the last of power to the barracks operational. It suddenly occurred to Sawyer that he had no idea who all was in this new "circle of trust". Phil liked to pretend he knew everything but did he? Sawyer decided it best not to test the theory and motioned to Miles not to say anything as they put away their gear- Miles rolled his eyes and nodded in agreement and annoyed at the overuse of Sawyer's gestures. Luckily, Phil was tapping on the counter and focused on the monitors- oblivious to everything anyhow. He finally looked back and they nodded that they were leaving . Phil's face soured in acknowledgement. 

........

 

Sawyer and Miles crossed the courtyard, Sawyer stopped at the sight of her. He tipped his head, opening his arms widely he sighed apologetically at Juliet. The lights in the courtyard were working now but the houses on their row were all still dark. She was sitting on their front step. Her hair was pulled back in a wavy pony tail and her arms were straight out, crossed at the wrist- resting on her knees as she watched them approaching. She'd clearly been waiting for them.   

"Hey Sweetness" Sawyer said once they were close as Miles put up a hand in greeting, his mouth pinched.

"Hey..." Juliet replied quietly, her eyes flickering up briefly into the sky- her face expressionless.

"I'll go get Jin." Miles said as he turned tiredly and headed to the guys house.

Once Miles was out of range Juliet let her features melt a bit. Her eye brows angled together.  She looked up at Sawyer as he swung himself down into the space beside her. 

"Guessin' Horace already talked to you bout our field trip tomorrow?" Sawyer inquired bending one knee up and letting the other leg rest on the lowest step.

Juliet nodded as she bent her elbows bringing her arms back in to wrap around her torso, watching at him. Horace had told her that James had an opportunity to show his leadership skills, she knew he was withholding information but figured it would be easier to have the guys tell her so she hadn't pushed.

"Seen Jin-bo?"

"Not since lunch." Juliet replied turning her gaze back out towards the abandoned swing set. Sawyer groaned and laced his fingers through his hair, flexing his muscles briefly trying to stretch out the tension that was growing in his body.

"The guys and I gotta go over to the boss man's for details then I think it's time for another "family meeting"."

Juliet blinked and shifted her body towards him. The corner of her mouth twitched as she set her jaw and let out a breath through her nose. _Yep, she's pissed_.

"Really? It sounds like you've already made up your mind, so- I don't suppose a family meeting will do much good at this point James." Juliet pushed herself up and dusted off her pants. Sawyer dropped his head then stood up- he was on the step lower than Juliet. His voice came out louder than he'd meant for it to.

"It ain't my fault one of them washed up on the damn beach. Hell, Blondie-You think I wanna go?" Sawyer spat defensively.

Juliet froze and met his gaze with a raised eyebrow. Horace had told her he was needed over at the Hydra- to help get it reconnected with communications that had been knocked out by the storm. He had assured her that it would be a routine check but he definitely hadn't said anything about a body. Sawyer's eyes closed as he realized that he had just let the cat out of the bag. Juliet's face blanched... she didn't know about the body.

"Whose body James?" she said quietly.

Sawyer sighed heavily then moved up to her level on the porch. Lowering his voice. "I dunno. One of their patrol guys we ran into when we went lookin' for Richard, I think. It don't matter. Look- you know I'd take ya with me if I thought I could. Hell knows yer a better shot than Miles but I'm guessin' I ain't s'pose to even be talkin' about it. I need ya ta trust me."

He took hold of Juliet's upper arms gently ducking into her gaze purposely. Her eyes darted back and forth in an attempt to read his expression. His dimples were buried in his scruff and the crease between his eyebrows was deeply defined with concern. She felt a pang of guilt as she hadn't considered that the situation had been this serious. Her nostrils flared a bit but she nodded in understanding. James was right- Horace would never approve her going. Her anger had melted away as worry began to claim its place. She knew they had to go but that still didn't calm the twisting feeling that was suddenly growing in her chest. 

"So...you're _all_ going?" Juliet continued softening her tone. Her eyes glassed over as she stared past Sawyer as new scenarios began to whirl through her mind. Sawyer dragged her body into his- bear hugging her around her shoulders as she breathed in the scent of his shirt.    

She licked her lips slightly and pulled back. Her mind was too wound up to allow her emotions to be released. She felt someone watching them and turned her attention over towards the guys house where Miles was returning with Jin by his side. 

Sawyer felt Juliet's body weaken at the sight of the guys. He got a sense that her feelings turned off because she was being left behind.  His face scrunched as he regained her attention.

"Hey-  We go, we set up communications, make sure it's secure and come back. It's a day trip...Trust me Blondie. If there was another way around it..."

"....I know." She said, attempting a weak smile as Miles and Jin stopped a few yards out- waiting for Sawyer.

Sawyer's eye twitched. Who the hell was he kidding? Clearly there was a already one hostile that had  gotten loose, and he couldn't overlook the fact that Bill was over there somewhere. And of course there were the polar bears...'cause that made complete sense on a tropical island. The Hydra wasn't nicknamed  _"The Alcatraz"_ due to it's charming beach activities or congenial inhabitants.  Tomorrow was absolutely going to suck. 

"You ready?" Mills asked after an awkward moment of silence.

Sawyer drug his hand through his hair and dropped a kiss on Juliet's forehead. Her eyes closed and she crossed her arms gently as she watched them cross towards the center housing area. Juliet let out a heavy sigh.

..........

The meeting was longer than necessary- Horace didn't have any information on what they might find over there but apparently Stuart had called and changed his mind. He would now be joining them after all. He was supposedly the most familiar with the location and of course Sawyer didn't want to argue- he already knew he'd have to pretend he'd never been there. He shook his head and felt a twinge of guilt bordering on anger- knowing full well that Juliet would be the perfect person to have with them. She knew that island better than everyone- plus she was a doctor, and mechanic.

Juliet wasn't a dainty 70's housewife but after her kidnapping there was no way Sawyer would be able to fight for her to come. The Dharma Initiative had their limits. They didn't quite understand that if the "hostiles" wanted someone, they had ways of getting to them. Sawyer knew this. He had also concluded that Juliet had been targeted by Widmore out of proximity and convenience. The Motor Pool was closest to the fence and she was the only one of them that was working solo at the time. He was convinced that it had nothing to do with her being of the feminine persuasion sans the fact that she was probably physically easier to carry.

Stuart would be bringing a motorized boat around to the dock. Sawyer had to admit he was glad they wouldn't spend half the day driving and paddling. There were also two new faces sitting on Horace's couch that were slated to join them. Levi worked with communications and George was an electrician from the power station. The "tech guys". According to Horace, once the stations were secured and the men over there accounted for- there would be no reason to have to stay. 

The team was now up to 6. Sawyer actually felt a little better with the whole "safety in numbers" line running through his head. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad as they were all assuming. He was given a checklist of persons currently stationed at The Hydra and they were each given a pocket map. They would meet at the docks in morning where they would be issued their guns and walkies before they headed out.

Horace stopped Sawyer as the meeting ended.

"Hey Jim, we really appreciate the assist. if all goes well- I'll be sending your name in for recommendations to Ann Arbor."

Sawyer nodded a furrowed look on his face. "Yeh? Thanks Chief"

"Juliet seemed unsure when I spoke to her this afternoon. Is there anything I should be concerned about while you are over there? After what happened with Bill from the Motor Pool, I'd sure hate to stir up additional drama."

"Yeh, yeh I know. I'll do my best to steer clear of the Grease Monkey, Boss"

"Glad to hear it. Alrighty then. Good luck."

.......

 

The darkened purplish sky had finally opened up again and rain started to fall as the guys split off and Sawyer arrived home. He unlocked and pushed the door open softly, he grunted in acknowledgement as the door halted. He reached an arm inside to quietly dislodge the kitchen chair against it as he stepped in. He knew he would eventually have to address this habit of hers.  Juliet had fallen asleep on the couch- a lit candle rested on the table behind her, dangerously low on wax but set on a coffee plate, just in case.  Sawyer picked up an blanket of the back of the chair and draped it over her, as he leaned over to blow out the candle. He  headed to the bathroom to take a shower. Sawyer flipped the light switch out of habit. still no power. He lit the candles on the counter and turned on the water. He stood under the spray and tried to come up with the best plan. He hadn't planned on Juliet being asleep when he got home. Should he wake her? Leave her sleep? 

Sawyer sighed as he got ready for bed then headed to the kitchen with a bathroom candle and grabbed the plate of leftover dinner Juliet had put out for him on the counter. Clearly she'd gone to the cafeteria. He watched her sleep as he ate quietly then decided it best to leave her be as he headed to bed. 

 .......

_Sawyer opened his eyes- the room was blurry and he blinked hard- waiting for it to come back into focus._

_"It's been 2 days since the sky turned purple and we've been blind. The comms are all down and I can't get em back up again and in case you forgot-Colleens in critical." said a burly man with graying hair and dark beady eyes._

_"Juliet's taking care of it." a familiar voice responded curtly._

_"Where... am I?" Sawyer whispered as he lifted his head off the metal slab that his body was restrained to, looking around the dark room in confusion. a sense of fear was quickly rising in his chest causing his nostrils to flare._

_"...the hell are you doin' ta me? Let me out!"_

_There were four men hovering just out of reach and Ben called for one of them. The man approached. Ben. That's right... That sonofabitch. The last thing Sawyer remembered was standing in his cage being asked his weight and age by the Puppet Master. He had been trying to lure Ben into range of his bear electrocution button and a puddle conveniently located near Ben's feet. Who knew a small guy like him could be so sly, aggressive and effective. He had underestimated Ben physically and now here he was searching the faces in the room for an answer as to why he was there._

_"Lemme out!" He groaned as he struggled uselessly._

_"Bite down on this please"_

_"You bite down on it" Sawyer growled. The man yanked him back by his hair and shoved a rolled up dry parchment of leather in this mouth. Sawyer let out a yell as he complied. The veins in his forehead beginning to bulge._

_"It's for the pain" Ben said evenly from across the room as a second man walked up revealing an over-sized syringe and began prepping it by tapping the air bubbles from the clear liquid inside._

_"What!? Wait!" Sawyer mumbled through the bit in his mouth._

_"Let me up! No.. No." He said in a panic as the man turned the need downward towards his chest ready to stab him._

_"God, I hate needles." Sawyer heard Ben say from the other side of the room._

_"Wait no, what you doin'!? the hell you doin' ? Sawyer repeated as the sweat ran down his face. The first man came up and tapped Sawyer's chest._

_"No, you have to go through the sternum. The sternum! Like in the movies."_

  
_"I know!" The man shot back nervously._

_Sawyer squinted in confusion, his eyes watering in frustration. These guys didn't even know what they hell they were doin! He began hyperventilating._

_"One... Two.." the man moved the syringe up and down over the center of Sawyer's chest as Sawyer continued to try and protest. His entire body tensing in preparation for impact. A black cloud of darkness filled the room._

_"Three!" The man shouted as he plunged the needle down._

_"Wait!!"_

Sawyer yelled out-loud as his arms suddenly pulled free of their restraints. Sweat covered him and he lunged into the darkness in an attempt to grasp the person hovering over him. Sawyer's hands impacted roughly with the shadow. His fingers locked on tightly as he quickly bolted to his feet and shoved the form roughly back into the wall pinning it with ease. His breath was ragged as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. He heard a feminine sound of surprise somewhere in between a gasp and a whimper.

"James?"

Sawyer's expression shifted from panic to confusion and back to panic as he released his target. He let go, reached over to flip on the lamp and was met by Juliet's intense blue eyes. She was frozen against the bedroom wall. Her eyes glassy. She swallowed hard, attempting to clear the obviously frightened expression from her face.

"Juliet? Jeezus." He whispered realizing where he was and what had just happened, his chest still heaving.

"Ya okay?" She breathed, keeping her eyes locked on him.

Sawyer looked around the room silently replaying his nightmare.

"James?" Juliet tried again not daring to move yet. 

Sawyer looked at her then backed up and dropped down on the bed nodding. It was a damn dream. Well, in actuality it was a memory and not one of his favorites. Juliet gave him a sympathetic look and slowly moved in to sit beside him.

"Smoke monster?" She questioned.

He looked over squinting apologetically in confirmation.Juliet set her hand on his knee. His body relaxed instantly under her touch and he placed his hand on hers.

"I wake you?" 

"No. Power's back. The living room light came on.." She said simply as she gestured to the lamp beside him.

Sawyer leaned over and turned the lamp back off then slid over making room for Juliet. She crawled in-tucking herself in beside him. She let out a sweet sigh of relief as their bodies melded together. 

"Love you." Sawyer whispered. He felt Juliet smile against him.

"I love you too." She replied

"Oh, and James? Please don't do anything stupid out there.."

"I won't out there, if you don't back here."

Juliet looked back at him and Sawyer let out a tired laugh knowing she was completely serious. He sighed and stroked her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her.

"As you wish, Buttercup. As you wish."

Juliet was now the one letting it a light laugh recognizing his reference immediately. She blinked sweetly at him.

"Princes Bride-one of my favorites" she said before closing her eyes and drifting off to the sound of the rain against the window and the feel of James's heart beating against her body.

 

 


	38. Chapter 38

Sawyer slipped out of the house before dawn and made his way to the guys house for coffee before heading down the embankment towards the water. The team met at the docks and got on a boat which could be defined as somewhere in between a medium sized fishing vessel and a yacht. Large enough for all of them but small enough to still make a stomach flipflop against a choppy sea. The rain from the night before had thankfully let up. Sawyer was beginning to wonder if the rainy season would ever end. He was getting tired of drying out from one rain just to have another drench him again. 

Stuart was captaining the vessel and everyone filed on board. Once the boat was set free of the dock Stuart sighed and pushed his glasses up on his nose.

"Alright listen up: Still no word from the small island, sorry to have to drag you gentlemen out of bed so early but we have a job to do.  I talked with Horace and will be heading the communications team. LaFleur here is in charge of security - so any concerns of that nature should be directed towards him."

  
Sawyer suddenly felt like he should say something. He cleared his throat and causally leaned over picking up the nearest walkie and tossing one to Jin- who caught it with ease.

"If you need to reach the security team, we will be on channel 3 out there. These are short range but the island ain't that big so I don't imagine there will be too much trouble. If yer radio ain't workin' head to... The main Hydra building as rendezvous point once your task is complete." Sawyer pulled a folded map out of his Dharma jumpsuit pocket and pointed at the large building on it.

Sawyer attempted to split the guns, holding out a rifle to the communications team. Stuart lifted a pistol from his waistband and declined the rifle.

"Is this really necessary? The electrician asked questioningly. The older man was clearly naive to the islands "diverse and abundant wildlife"

Sawyer squinted at him then retracted the rifle.

"Nope. Just stick with yer team and there shouldn't be anything to worry 'bout." He said in a cool and collected manner as he slung the rifle across his own shoulder. 

The boat headed around the north point towards the eastern side of the island as the sun rose above the watery horizon. After about 15 minutes the island was in sight and after about 30 more they had arrived.   _Sure is nicer than paddlin'_ Sawyer thought as he remembered it taking him and Kate near half a day to get back to the big island.

The boat dropped anchor off shore in the deeper water and the teams took two smaller orange inflatable rafts in to the abandoned beach. The group gathered around as Stuart adjusted his radio/telephone backpack. Sawyer looked at his map as though he needed it and tapped it casually. 

"Alright boys, let's go check in at the main building and see what we're dealin' with." He nodded his head in the right direction and Stuart took the lead.

..........

Juliet woke up and rolled to an upright position. She slid to her feet and looked out the window, pushing her hair back and tucking it behind her ears- She was glad for the guys that the rain had stopped knowing it would make James much easier to deal with. She sighed as a strange lonely feeling overtook her before turning to begin her morning routine. 

Juliet headed out to the Motor Pool. The courtyard had returned to it's pre-storm state-aside from a few bundled debris piles that were probably being set aside for a bonfire at the next "Dharmaville get together". Juliet was surprised to find she was the first one at the garage this morning. She headed into the office and started a pot of coffee. The air was humid and almost reminded her of Miami as she took the invoice charts off the wall and started scanning the vehicles. She frowned at the Jeep knowing it was there because they'd left it out at the fence.

After opening the big door Juliet sipped her coffee and replayed the incident at the fence with the black smoke- trying to decode all she knew about it. The smoke had attacked people in the past but it always seemed calculated like it was told who it couldn't harm. Richard's theory of it being a man was making the most sense in this respect. It clearly wasn't mindless even though it did have an animal like approach. She also knew it had killed some of the crash survivors and left those on what Ben referred to as "the list" alone. Juliet begun to wondered if the black smoke wasn't _Jacob_. The island's keeper. Maybe he was trying to rid it of potential threats and since he couldn't "read" them- that's exactly what they were. She had never met Jacob but had an overwhelming sensation that Jacob had met her.

A chill ran up Juliet's spine as she remembered Isobel's words to her from the Hydra _"...no longer under the protection of Jacob."_ The corner of Juliet's mouth twitched. Was it actually true? or... had it been just another of Ben's mind games. That was also in the future- was she susceptible to the same fate here in the past? She groaned knowing Richard would probably have the answers. She imagined it _was_ true- She'd killed one of her own people, on purpose. Though, if the Smoke Monster _was_ Jacob he would've known what she did to Danny and attacked her when she was handcuffed to Kate instead of leaving them both unharmed. Juliet knew that James and Jin were also on "Jacob's list" - She wasn't sure about Miles but after finding his parents here she couldn't deny the feeling that no one on this island was here by chance.

None of this explained Bill. His night terrors had clearly been sending him messages that they were not sending to Sawyer or herself. If only he hadn't been so unstable she might have been able to get some useful information from him. Juliet sighed. It just didn't make sense. She was beginning to give herself a headache just thinking about the labyrinth of information she had stored away. The pieces had to be there. It was just a matter of putting them together. She closed her eyes and sent out a silent thought towards James for him to maintain his composure over there. Juliet shook her head and turned her attention back to the Jeep- making a mental note to bounce these theories off the guys once they came back. 

"Hey-o, Morning Juliet." Kevin said with a smile and a slightly hung over tone. 

"Mornin' Kevin." Juliet tipped her head and smiled at him with a nod as she set her coffee down and pulled a blue bandanna from her pocket,  tying her hair back into a simple ponytail under it. Today was a work day- it was all she could do to distract herself and not worry about the guys. 

.............

Seven people were on Sawyer's list as workers at the Hydra station. As they moved to the main building they were greeted by 2 of them as well as the background sounds of groaning bears. The two men that approached were wearing Dharma jumpersuits- they appeared to be assistants of some kind from the look of them.

"Great, it's about time someone remembered we were here!" The shorter, wider man said. 

Sawyer noted the names on their uniforms and checked them off his list before looking across the cemented courtyard, catching a glimpse of a yellowish white bear rubbing against the interior in his old cage. _"Sorry buddy- I know how ya feel."_ he thought as his brow furrowed

"Earl, nice to see you too. So what's the status? Besides no radio communications." Stuart began.

The taller man who had wiry glasses crossed his arms irritably.

"Well, let's see... The dolphins are acting strangely and aren't communicating anymore. The polar bears appear to be on strike. They haven't been training, they're just pacing. Our compasses have started whirling around randomly like flippin' spinning tops. So yeh-I'd say it's a safe bet that the storm must have messed with some of the island's _unique_ properties... The ones that we've been using as our controls. Which means we will probably have to start all over again! O and of course there's..."

A new face appeared, emerging from the building interrupting purposely the pissed off assistant. Clearly either a doctor or a scientist by his white lab coat.

"Thank you Ron. Gentlemen- glad you make it. If you would follow me- I'll fill you in on the more relevant details as to why you are here." 

Sawyer marked another name off his list.

"Half way done already and it ain't even lunch yet" He whispered to Miles with a smirk as they followed the man inside. They moved down 2 sets of metal staircases and into a hallway that reminded Sawyer of a submarine- it had water valves and hatches outside each door. It had an eerie green glow and felt damp. Sawyer was guessing they were underwater.

"The main problem is our radio tower-" the man continued stepping into a command center type of room where another Dharma worker was sitting, reviewing tapes. The worker had slicked back hair tied into a low ponytail at the base of his neck. He also had an extremely masculine aura that said he had the muscle to back up anyone who might question it. The surveillance room reminded Sawyer of their own security station just on a much smaller scale. Probably only allowing 1 or 2 people at a time. The man in the white coat gestured to a map on the wall showing where the antenna was located. Sawyer, Jin and Miles backed out of the way so their "tech guys" could get a look and mark the spot on their maps.

"It was damaged by the high winds. Other than that our island security and cameras are operational. Not gunna say it's been quiet though. We did lose power for about 3 hours and that's when all hell broke loose."

Stuart's brow raised.

"Any casualties?"

"No- not exactly. But there were definitely security breaches and injuries. I'll let Nick here try to explain."

Sawyer scanned his list _"Nick Andrews: Station security."  check!_

 _"_ Yeh Alright Stu- why don't you and your boys head over and get ta taping tin foil 'round that antenna out there while we stay here and get the word on buttonin' up the security issues. I gotta hot date tonight and I ain't plannin' on this turning into a boys night out if ya get me" He furrowed his brow and gave Stuart a look to let him know that the tech guys didn't need to be here just in case they heard something they couldn't unhear later. Stuart scrunched his face and rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand before nodding in agreement. He knew LaFleur was right but was undoubtedly reluctant to let him take control. 

"K, we're on channel 3. Guess we'll see you all in a few hours." Stuart said in huffy compliance. 

"Okay- Nicky, what the hell is goin on here?" Sawyer asked leaning on the door frame as though it were a neighboring jail cell buddy and he was trying to get the latest yard gossip.  Jin and Miles filed into the room a the rest of the men headed back up the stairs

"Lemme show you this" He said in a burly tone as he popped in a tape with a red X written on it. 

"This was right before we lost power, somewhere in the afternoon yesterday. That's one of my security men being struck by I dunno what the hell that is..." Nick said freezing the frame briefly then hitting play again.  Sawyer knew exactly what it was- as did Miles and Jin. They all watched silently as a tunneling black cloud enveloped and dragged the man in the shot down a long metal outdoor stairway.

"Well I'll be damned. Sonofabitch!" Sawyer said aloud. 

  
"At first I assumed he'd been hit by debris but when I reviewed the tapes..." Nick said with a confused shake of his head as they went back to watching the black and white monitor.

"He ok-ay?" Jin asked with a genuine concern.

"Ya man he's alright- he took a few good hits on his way down. He's over at medical." 

"Woah, did that thing just blow the door off it's hinges?" Miles said- his eyes going wide.

"Ya, crazy right!?  You guys know what that is?" Nick bounced back at them when he realized the lack of surprise from both Jin and Sawyer.

"Storm gust?" Sawyer asked in an obvious attempt to rationalize it so Nick didn't get suspicious.

"You ever seen it before? " Sawyer said shaking his head in a similar manner to the hefty guy before them diverting the question with one of his own.

"No- pretty sure I'd remember it." Nick replied conveniently forgetting his own inquiry.

"What building is this?" Jin continued as the three of them watched the tape turn to static.

"It _was_  the housing building for a few detained people from the main island." Nick replied.

"Wait! What do you mean _was_?" Miles questioned openly as he scanned more stacks of tapes as well as the camera  monitors and where they were currently recording. Nick continued.

"We figure that's how they got out." Nick said referring to the blown door before continued.

"There were three. One of them was recaptured. He's currently back in lock down. We're not certain about the other two but we haven't caught them on any surveillance since the power came back up."

"Damnitt. Alright" Sawyer said exchanging glances with Miles - knowing they were both thinking the same thing. The hostiles made it off The Hydra and back to the main island. Well, at least one of them. Which means if he did he probably remembers everything and is heading straight back to Richard and Eloise to tell them what he knows. Sawyer let out an audible growl. They needed to warn Horace and he knew now that he'd have to talk to Bill- see what he could find out. Sawyer felt a twinge in his gut telling him to keep his cool this time, if not for Juliet's sake- for the sake of the mission. 

"I'ma need to talk to the guy you still got. Enos, why don't you and Chewy head over to medical and talk to the Slinky in this tape then work yer way back over and start triaging these videos. If anyone's still lurkin' around, we'll find em. C'mon Pony boy, yer with me."   Sawyer spat as Nick stood up and nodded then headed out the door, like a biker-completely un-phased by Sawyer's nickname for him.

"Alright man. You can try talkin' to him- he hasn't said much since he got here though. Might be due to his "treatments"  ya know?"

Sawyer ran his fingers through his hair and adjusted the rifle on his shoulder. Miles rolled his eyes before locking them onto Sawyer's knowing full well that he was trying to get rid of them so he could question Bill without them. Sawyer shot him a look back as his dimples dented into his face. 

"Ok, _Boss"_ Miles said with a sarcastic seriousness. His eyebrows rutted together in frustration and his expression warned  _"Don't do anything I'm going to have to explain to Juliet later, you idiot!"._

 

They emerged into the sunlight Sawyer's eyes darted over thankfully letting out a sigh- noting that both polar bears were right where they should be.  Jin and Miles split off- using their maps and heading towards the building Sawyer recalled as being the medical bay. 

Nick silently led the way and Sawyer followed. They walked a trail that wound down and around the back of a smaller Hydra building towards what he thought was the beach. Sawyer almost questioned if this guy was going the right way until they came into a small clearing. He flexed his hands and let out a heavy breath as they moved around to the bunker style entrance that Sawyer recognized. The landscape was much cleaner and less overgrown than he'd remembered it but the building was the same. There was one guy sitting on the step- smoking a cigarette. He immediately jumped to his feet once he realized that they had arrived.

"Yo! S'up? You here for the defect?" The young guy said. Clearly startled by their arrival.

"This is Jim Lafleur- he's here to asses our security situation so try to pretend you aren't all I'm relying on right now alright, Eugene." 

The guy gave him a sheepishly sour look and nodded.

"Fine. fine. Sorry man. He's down the hall. In 22."

Sawyer nodded in thanks and walked into the darkened hallway. He wasn't even sure what the hell to ask Bill at this point. What he needed to know and what he wanted to know often clouded his judgement when his emotions were involved. He already knew seeing the guys face was only gunna insight two thoughts. Juliet and rearranging the guys pretty boy features. _Just breathe stupid. Find out what you can about the escaped hostile and leave. Game over._

"He's restrained so there's no real worry. You want me to go in with ya?" Nick said as they paused outside the door. Sawyer shook his head and leaned his rifle outside the door against the wall. 

"Naw- probably be less likely to talk with two of us." Sawyer lied.

Nick arched a brow curiously for a moment then moved back out towards the main entrance without a second glance.

Sawyer unhinged the lock- took a deep breath and slid the door open...

 

 


	39. Chapter 39

Sawyer stepped into the dark room- a projector was playing against the far wall and a dentist's chair was bolted to the center of the floor facing the reel. There were repetitive flashes of light as Sawyer approached the back of the chair.

"Well, well Casanova- seems the tables have turned. How's it feel to be the one that's trapped? Ain't so fun now is..." He swaggered in but stopped- realizing suddenly that not only was this not Bill, but the man had thick padded 70's headphones taped to his head and couldn't hear him.

Sawyer couldn't help but recognize the scene instantly, though it was slightly more archaic than he remembered it being when they had rescued Karl, this room was a mirror image of "Room 23".  He knew better than to stare at the pictures for too long. As he grew closer he saw that the man's eyes were darting calmly back and forth- staring at the projections through a more primitive form of what Sawyer could only describe as 3D looking goggles. Nothing as fancy as what Karl had worn. There was an IV drip connected to one of his restrained arms.  Sawyer dropped his head- eyes squinted in serious contemplation as he stood out of guy's line of sight. His mind began reeling. He wanted to help this guy but at the same time he knew that interfering with the "process" could cause even more of a set back for his release back to the hostiles. He had to trust that Stuart knew what the hell he was doing.

Groaning in frustration, Sawyer brought his fingers up to his face rubbing the deep crease between his eyebrows and let loose a heavy breath as a vibrating pangs of sympathy, guilt and unease washed over him followed by a slight panic that the man he came for was still "at large". The _hostile_  didn't acknowledge him at all but as Sawyer stared at him he noticed the guy's leg was braced with two wooden dowels and leather straps. He was the other half of the two men that had held Juliet when they were out in the jungle searching for Richard. Juliet had dislocated the guys knee. It had to be him. It made sense that  _the corpse_ was his patrolling buddy.

Sawyer's pulse sped up as he crossed back out into the hall and glanced down towards the next room across the hall. Sawyer picked up his rifle and moved to the door marked "Room 23" which was half bent, leaning against the hallway wall. It had been blown clear off it's hinges. Sawyer aimed his rifle into the space and noted the condition of the room- it looked as though a tornado had gone through it. Papers scattered, chair overturned, debris everywhere. He moved passed the room to the far entrance and leaned out the door tentatively realizing it was the same view down the metal flight of stairs he'd seen on the surveillance video. _Damnitt!_

Returning his rifle to his shoulder Sawyer unhooked his walkie from his belt.

"Security team this is LaFleur. Come in, over." 

The radio static echoed off the concrete walls inside the building as Sawyer moved back down the hall and secured "Room 22" before heading out the front where the security duo for the station was waiting. 

"Stu-Miles? ...the hell are you yahoos?" Sawyer tried again.

"You get what you needed from him?" Nick asked as he moved down the stairs and back towards the direction they came. Sawyer face pinched.

"More or less- yeh, I did. Need to know how many ways there are off this damn rock an' if anyone's checked to see if any of em have been utilized."

"Whoa, What? You seriously think the other two left the island in the storm? I hate to burst your bubble Jim but none of our boats are missing so- unless they swam 2 miles in the rain there's no way..."

Sawyer's brow furrowed... The radio crackled again.

_"Hey LaFleur- You there? This is Stuart. We're at the tower now- should have a signal soon."_

"Yeh- great Quick Draw, lemme know - I'm heading up the main building to rendezvous with my guys who clearly have forgotten how to answer a damn walkie. I'll fill ya in when you get back." 

_"Copy that."_

"At least something's going right let's go Thor" Sawyer said as Nick gave him a nod with cocky grin taking the name as a compliment. Sawyer in turn, rolled his eyes. 

"Could be worse. We'll find em." Nick stated more confidently than he probably should have. 

 _"Oh, I doubt it."_ Sawyer thought quietly this time- unwilling to discuss the matter further. He was fuming. This guy clearly had no idea that one of the missing was dead on the other island.

........

Juliet knocked on the metal door to the security station at lunch and waited. A strange face answered the door. Juliet smiled politely.

"Is Horace available?" She said in a calm honey tone.

"Juliet right? He said you might stop by. C'mon down. I'm Eric. Just fillin' in."

Juliet nodded in acknowledgement and moved down the stairs. Horace was sitting at the monitors, doing paperwork.

"Oh hello Juliet. Everything alright?" He greeted her softly.

"Yes. It is. I... came to see if you... needed lunch. I thought you'd be a little short staffed..." She lied, cutting her statement short as she looked over at Eric then back to Horace.

"Well thank you, Amy actually thought the same thing and already brought me something. " Horace said as he held up a sandwich from the cafeteria, he blushed ever so slightly at the mention of Amy. Juliet pursed her lips. 

"Eric here was just about to take his lunch." Horace added in an attempt to change the topic. 

"Yep, I was. I'll be back in like 20." He said as he headed up and out of the building without another thought. 

"How's the Motor Pool treating you? Truly am glad you decided to stay on. Those guys could definitely learn a thing or two from you." Horace said causally as he turned his chair to face her. 

"It's... great. The guys are smart, fast learners" She said kindly as her eyes moved around the room. There was a moment of awkward silence as the corner of Juliet's mouth twitched.

"I'm sorry - there's no word from the Hydra yet. I assume that's why you're here. Am I right?" Horace said standing up, he tipped his head and leaned against the counter, dropping his thumbs casually into his pockets.

Juliet let out a sigh and moved to the opposite counter, facing him then leaned against, it near the coffee maker- mimicking Horace's body language. She tipped her head at him and blinked slowly with a single nod. She felt badly about doing this but she needed to know as much as Horace would tell her. Juliet had learned a few manipulation tricks from the Others and from Ben as far as getting information from people. She swallowed and used her most soothing voice, locking her thumbs in the pockets of her Dharma jumpsuit.

"I have this overwhelming feeling that there's a... security issue" She stated simply with a hint of worry. Horace sighed and brought his hand up to his jaw, giving him away. Juliet subtly did the same but in a more feminine manner. Horace noted her posture and gave her a comforting look. She was reminding him of himself by copying the subconscious movements he made- making him feel more sympathetic towards her without even knowing it. 

"Not to worry. Jim seems like someone who can take care of himself should any "situations" arise." He said with a parental tone.

"Yes, of course... should any situations arise. Then there is a security problem?" She echoed testing the topic.

"Juliet, you know I would tell you about any concerns- if I could." Horace said rocking back on his heels as he adjusted his glasses with a flash of sadness. 

"I know. I know you would... tell me... if you could. I mean, if there were a problem to be concerned about." Juliet agreed softly shifting her weight back on her heels, repeating the last bit of his words as well as the same inquiry about security each time- She knew she was verbally forcing the opinion that she knew more than she did. It worked.

"I can't be sure yet to what degree the problem is. It very well could have been a simple accident and I don't want to worry anyone for no reason. I won't know for sure how bad it is until they contact me. I'm in a very difficult situation here. I hope you can understand." 

"Yes. It _is_ difficult.  I know it feels like you're doing it all on your own- but you're not." Juliet said in a motherly tone walking across the room to lean beside Horace, attempting to return comfort.

....

She had a tiniest flashback of when she'd used this technique on Jack in the Hydra in an attempt to gain his trust. 

_"I know it feels like you're giving up, like your losing if you do anything that I ask you to but you're not..."_

.....

"Exactly. I just want to keep everyone safe and stable- right now that involves dealing with the situation at the Hydra with great tact and not making any compromises with the detained persons that are residing there. Believe me if it's Bill you're worried about, he really is the least of my concerns right now." Juliet nodded along with Horace in silent agreement as she tucked away bits of new found knowledge.

Horace paused- slightly surprised at the information he'd just given her and clearly unsure how to take it back or continue. He untucked his fingers and  glanced back to his monitors clearly questioning himself over something before speaking.

"When... I do hear from them. You'll be the first to know. Does that sound fair? Until then, we have no other option but to wait." He said.  Juliet smiled sincerely. 

"Thank you Horace. I would appreciate it so much. I'll let you get back to work" - With that Juliet turned and headed out. She heard Horace let out a self disappointed huff as he dropped back into his chair. 

 _"Who else was over there? How many people were ... " Juliet froze mid thought as she answered her own question on why "detainee's" would be sent there and could've kicked herself for not realizing it sooner. She closed her eyes and let out a sigh. The only persons that Ben ever sent to the Hydra were people that he saw as a danger to the group. Walt- and Karl (though he was only a danger in Ben's eyes). Room 23... It was more than possible that the Dharma Initiative was using the station for more than just training polar bears and talking to dolphins.  A cold chill ran down her spine. Her features glossed over as she made her way back to the Motor Pool. A_ _definite new sensation of anxiety washing over her._

_......._

"The hell you boys been doin' up here? Didn't cha hear me on the walkie?" Sawyer spat as he ran into Jin and Miles leaving the medical station accompanied by a doctor he hadn't met. Sawyer crossed the last name off his list in anger.

"Uh, talking to the guy you told us to." Miles said defensively.

"Hello Mr. LaFleur, as I was explaining to your team... There have been quite a few inconsistencies with our man and his story. Problem with concussions is - everyone is different. Hopefully his information was still somewhat helpful." The doctor said with a tentative smile.

Sawyer glared at Miles and Jin and both the doctor and Nick understood he wanted them gone.

"Yeh.... So...Ill meet you guys in the lunch room. It's just past medical and we can go over the plan... once... there is one." Nick said coolly then walked off across the courtyard. The doctor put his thumb up as though he were hitchhiking along with Nick and also turned to go with an awkward snort. 

"Wow LaFleur, very subtle "get lost" queues" Miles said pursing his lips.

"Shuddap, tell me you got something to go on." Sawyer said - his voice lowering and his eyes narrowing in concentration.

"Right. We talked to their security guy at the back door of where they were holding the "detainees". _He_ says he was attacked by an old buddy of his from high school that died in a car wreck- Guy clearly hit his head too hard right? He says the door blew open and as he looked up in his delirium he swears it was like a movie- smoke billowed out and all three guys came out, two of them hurdled themselves over the railing towards the bottom and one guy had to take the long way due to a leg injury. They weren't saying anything- just half running half stumbling towards the water.  Never saw "his buddy" come back out." Miles said

"That all he saw before he black out." Jin finished.

"Damnitt. Well, I went to talk to Bill boy and found yer guy with the leg injury instead. He ain't a danger at the moment. He's pretty well contained - unless Ol'Smokey is still hangin' around. How the hell that "wisp of doom" get on this island anyhow?"

"No fence." Jin said quietly.

"O so Stay-Puff Marshmallow of Darkness can swim? Great, just great!"

"Maybe he needed a boat." Miles stated evenly as though it were obvious.

Sawyer shot him a look like he'd just been hit with a wooden plank, then gave a smirk.

"Enos, sometimes-you ain't so bad!"  He said as he headed back to the security room. Jin and Miles hot on his heels. He talked as he walked, clearly quickening his pace with purpose.

"Start goin' over the footage of the beach from before the black out- and after. We needa find that boat! - I'm headin' out to the radio tower to figure out what to do with "Contestant number 3" and get the scoop on communications. If Smokey n the Bandit are back on the big island - this is the last damn place we should be." 

Jin nodded  and stepped into the security room  to start organizing tapes- stacking them in chronological order as Miles's face pinched at Sawyer. 

"You think "that thing" came over to _bust them out_ on purpose? That's impossible man. How'd it know they were even here?"

  
Sawyer let out a heavy sigh and Miles arched a brow questioningly. 

"Maybe not _them,_ maybe just _him_. The _Cowboy's_ door was the only one that was damaged. I think it's tryin' to use him to- o hell- I dunno. Lemme think okay!? It made more sense in my head! I ain't the logical one; Juliet is. goddamnnit. " Sawyer said as his eyes darted around in thought. He crossed his arms and huffed as he tried to piece together a timeline in his head.

"Okay... Let's say you're right. How the hell would it even know where Bill was and why him?" Miles said dropping into a chair and focusing back on the task at hand- not really expecting an answer from Sawyer as he began loading up the first tape on Jin's pile.

Cus may~be...me an Juliet ran into it at the fence in the storm just before it came here... "

"What!?" Miles said as he and Jin both paused to look at Sawyer.

"...and maybe~ it mighta scanned us and figured out where it's new "bestie" was.  

"Really?! Things you probably should've mentioned yesterday!" Miles spat. Jin furrowed his brow. 

"Well, the camera's were down when it happened and I didn't feel comfortable talkin about it over dinner at the Chief Nerds house alright!? I was gunna tell ya"

"Whatever man." Miles said blankly turning back to the monitors clearly a little pissed that they'd been left out of the loop.

Sawyer growled looking to Jin for support, only to find none.

"Fine, lemme know what ya find- I'ma go put together an exit strategy from this damn rock."

.........

Sawyer met with Stuart out at the tower and a plan was devised to have the doctor dope the remaining "hostile", they'd bring him back to The Arrow and pick up the corpse then drop them on the shore close to hostile territory . If all worked out as planned- the guy would wake up face down in the sand and not remember a damn thing- Hopefully the death would be written off as a drowning accident due to the storm. Sawyer had to admit he was impressed and a little frightened how easily this whole thing was falling together. At this point he didn't want to even attempt anything more complicated. Miles and Jin had radio'd them and told them that Sawyer was right. There was a small motorized hard bottom boat that showed up on the Hydra shore but was gone by morning. It had a Dharma symbol and a number 2 on it. It was from the barracks boathouse- no question about it. Stuart seemed unconcerned -convinced that if the hostile had drown that the probability was high that Bill had also, besides that he didn't consider Bill a threat the way he considered the hostiles.  Sawyer secretly wished this were true but his gut told him otherwise. Stuart was satisfied to agree in setting up a search for the boat as soon as they arrived back. 

It was decided that the communications team would stay behind and the security team would handle the retrieval and drop off of the detainee and stiff. The sun was getting low to the horizon when the 3 of them climbed into a hard bottom narrow outrigger with a small motor attached to the tail end. It was marked with the Hydra logo and Sawyer sighed to himself, hoping they wouldn't have to return it later. Their passenger had a burlap sack over his head and was lying unconscious in the center of the boat. Miles took to the front, Jin centered himself behind the hostile and Sawyer took his place in the rear with the motor, steering the boat's rudder.  Stuart pointed the direction of The Arrow and gave them a visual marker across the water before wishing them luck and heading back up the pathway to the main building.  

"Alright, let's get this show on the road. I dun want the Sandman here wakin' up fore we get the chance to dump em." 

"When we get back- we can call Horace from the Arrow. He should know that Bill is missing. He will need to change fence code" Jin said

Sawyer swallowed hard. He hadn't considered that. Bill had the codes. And he was also familiar with some of the outer stations, he said himself he'd done parts runs before. He could find his way back to the barracks, Sawyer was sure of it. 

"What?" Miles said looking back at the concerned expression on Sawyer's face.

"Nuthin." Sawyer replied before kicking the motor up to full throttle.

 

........

Juliet still hadn't heard from Horace- The day had gone slowly and she'd done her best to let Jesse and Kevin's ramblings and stories of the "real world" distract her. The Jeep she and Sawyer had flooded out was back up and running. Some of the electrical needed replacing and the battery was dead. Juliet headed home as the sun was setting. She unlocked her door and stepped out of her shoes, automatically heading for the phone to call the security station. The corner of her mouth twitched as she waited for an answer, dragging the phone and it's cord over to stare blankly out the window. Jerry picked up. Juliet asked for Horace but he was on dinner break, she left a message for him and hung up. The courtyard was filling with workers on their way home and a few children playing about. Juliet sighed. She returned the phone and headed to the shower. The house was quiet. She wouldn't make dinner tonight not without them. _Where are you James?_

Juliet couldn't help but try putting together a back up plan. If the guys weren't heard from or back by morning- she would have to insist that a second party be sent out after them. What if someone was injured? She should've gone with. Juliet was beginning to think that maybe she shouldn't  have lied on her Dharma tests about being a doctor. A wave of guilt washed over her as she imagined the guys trying to be of any help to each other in a medical emergency. Juliet had been calculating the time vs expected time to achieve their mission objective all day. Once it had gotten dark- her hopes began to dwindle that the guys would make it back today. If communications were damaged or the power was out over there. It would take 5 times longer to fix via flashlight. 

The phone rang as Juliet was finishing getting dressed. She grabbed the bedside phone, her heart in her throat. 

"James?" 

"Hi Juliet. It's me. Amy." 

Juliet closed her eyes and let out an audible breath of disappointment.

"Oh- I'm sorry, Horace mentioned you were waiting from word from the guys, there's nothing yet. You okay?" Amy said with a clear tone of apology

"Hey~ Amy, yeh, I'm okay- it's fine. As it turns out I'm not as patient as I would like to be... What's up?" Juliet said trying to make her voice as soothing as possible as she pulled her wet hair over her shoulder and toweled it dry while holding the phone to her ear with her shoulder 

"I thought maybe I might borrow you this evening. The rec center/events coordinator has pulled a bunch of costume boxes out of storage for Halloween and I was hoping you might help me set up. The costume party is in two days- on Halloween night, after the kids make their rounds so - the costumes need to be available by tomorrow. I know it's short notice but everything got pushed back due to the storm... If you don't..."

"Yes. It's no problem. I can meet you over there." Juliet said quickly. She didn't want to make Amy beg and she absolutely realized she still needed to do _something_.

"Great! It's Tuesday night so we'll have the place to ourselves. I'll pick up a key from Sam or Roger and meet you in say... an hour?"

"Sounds perfect. See you then." 

Juliet walked to the rec center in the dark- She glanced around- lights were on in many houses. People were sitting down for dinner with their families, children were finishing their homework. Juliet's thoughts drifted to Rachel. There were so many nights growing up that their mother was working and they'd been left under latch and key to dinner by themselves. Well, not by themselves... together. Rachel was only a few years older than Juliet but she had always taken the responsible leader role and Juliet honestly preferred it. Rachel would tell her what they needed to do and she did it. They both learned to cook and helped one another happily in the kitchen. "playing grown up". Rachel was the best sister. She was Juliet's voice when she was mad and her comfort when she was upset. Rachel evened out her weak points and she felt stronger around her. At the same time, Juliet had always been academically advanced and often found herself helping Rachel when it came to school subjects, especially science and math. She smiled to herself thinking of how much Rachel had despised her two favorite subjects. Strange how two sisters under the same roof could have their personalities and traits split so perfectly. They relied on one another and truly loved each other for it. Juliet tried to think back to 1974 but it was lost to her. Her family was probably still living in Ohio. A place they'd left before her memories really had any chance to stick with her. She remembered Rachel telling her stories about it when they were older. The fun they'd had in the winter snows and the summer trips to a lake they'd apparently taken. Juliet wasn't even 4 yet. Funny how brains work- not always keeping memories accessible.

Juliet paused as her attention was drawn towards the center of the barracks. A few darkened figures were milling about - people coming in from outside the fence, probably. A few times a week the further out stations would change crews, not dissimilar to a fire station crew. They'd rotate and stay out for 4 days then come in for 4 days etc. It worked better than traveling back in forth all the time- and it was safer for everyone involved. She thought about swinging by Horace's place to inquire again about the guys but decided that he probably knew that she was with Amy and that he could find her pretty easily. She arrived at the rec center looking back once more before pulling the door open. She hated when she got the feeling that she was being watched. Maybe her paranoia was just peeked because of her worry and because she was alone in the world again. At least, for now. 

She felt a little better knowing that at least the guys were out there together - if it had been just one of them, Juliet was pretty sure she'd already be rowing across the darkness towards the Hydra. 

 _They're fine. They are big boys, Juliet- stop being an idiot._ Juliet silently chided herself. She puffed up her cheeks and blew out a breath as she flipped a fake smile onto her face and opened the door. 

 


	40. Chapter 40

"So... What'd Stuart say when you told him about the "Smoke Monster"? Miles said trying to kill time after a prolonged silence. He was still a bit upset about Sawyer not telling them they'd seen it again but he also knew Sawyer was just as bad at apologies as he was so in true form he had no choice but to move forward. 

"I didn't tell him." Sawyer said with a look of hesitation on is face before clarifying.

"What? You heard their security guy- I figure if he ain't never seen it- it's best we keep playin' along. I told him that they escaped and that the building had been damaged then I let him kinda fill in the rest with his own theories. The man loves to hear himself talk.  Ol' Stu is probably already lookin' over them tapes now that we're gone anyhow... being that we're rookies on his watch. If he asks we just say the footage was grainy and we don't know nuthin bout no black smoke. Unless you wanna end up where this poor bastard was and believe me - ya don't."

Jin nodded in agreement with Sawyer then turned to Miles.

  
"Yeh...I'm not big on brainwashing... You think it'll work? Dumping them off? Seems kinda risky." Miles continued.

"Dunno, Ain't got much choice. I sure as hell hope so- last thing we need is our buddy Rico Suave over there in the hostile camp askin' more questions." 

The boat fell quiet again as Sawyer, Miles, Jin and their unconscious passenger steered closer to shore. Daylight was fading quickly. There was a small twist of smoke rising from a torch lit along the tree line at the point he was pretty sure they were heading.

"What if it _Others?_ and not Dharma?" Jin said in a concerned tone. 

"Yeh or what if it's Bill? Maybe we should go wide and try the shore farther north?" Miles added.

Sawyer adjusted the rifle against his knee with a sigh as he aimed right for it. 

"It ain't Bill- GI Joe probably drown, like Stu said. You really wanna walk an extra 2 miles carryin' a dead guy? It's already gettin' too damn late. I dun really wanna wait til morning when One Legged Willie here wakes up- 'Sides that- we know whoever's over there seen us coming 10 minutes ago- Ain't like there's a place ta hide.  Speakin' of which... Jin- untie that damn splint from Jiminy Cricket down there- ain't no way n hell he'd survive swimmin' with that make-shift anchor attached to him." 

Miles huffed nervously as Jin carefully leaned over and checked the man in the bottom of the boat's pulse, lifting the sack over his head above his nose to allow him to breathe better. He cut the dowels and leather bindings from the man's leg and dropped them overboard before nodding that the guy was okay and they all focused their attention back on the stretch of white sand that was steadily approaching.

There was sudden squeal from the two walkie talkies Sawyer and Miles were carrying. All three men jumped as the boat rocked harshly in response.  Miles grabbed his walkie and quickly turned it off realizing they were too close together to receive any incoming transmissions. Miles held his breath as Sawyer's walkie crackled back to life with a voice he wasn't familiar with.

 _"Jim LaFleur? This is The Arrow. Do you copy? Please confirm that it is your boat approaching._  " Sawyer swallowed hard as he killed the motor and put his lips up to the walkie

"Yeh NASA it's us. No need to come out with yer guns blazin'.  That your candle in the wind?"

 _"That's affirmative. Two of my men will meet you on the beach with the "package_ " Stuart radio'd from the Hydra. We are aware of your mission and it's critical timeline."

"Copy that-and I'ma need to use yer land line 'fore we go."

_"Negative-no can do. You'll have to use it when you get back- you're already losing too much daylight."_

Sawyer sighed heavily. This was not the plan but he they were right- the longer it took them to drop the bodies the darker and more dangerous their situation became. He'd have to wait and call Horace when they came back- hopefully Stuart was already on top of the code change situation. Juliet's face flashed through his mind and his brow furrowed. It was looking unlikely he was gunna be home tonight after all.  

Miles and Jin hopped out into the waist deep water to drag the boat ashore. Sawyer moved to the front and reached in for his rifle as 2 figures approached. 

"LaFleur? " A deep voice called out in a "don't shoot us" tone. Sawyer looked back at Miles and Jin  as he climbed out and helped shove the boat up to the sand before returning his aim to the men that were approaching- both had their hands raised. 

"Alright. Stop right there, we'll come to you." Sawyer ordered.

The two men paused and Jin reached back into the boat.  He took out a pistol and also aimed it at the two men while Miles stood by, unarmed.  They were the same two guys that Sawyer and Miles had seen the previous day. The ones that had led them to the beach when they found the body.  Sawyer lowered his weapon and nodded as he Jin and Miles approached.

"Seems they got the radio's up n runnin' on the Hydra then?" Sawyer started.

"Yes sir, we got the transmission call about 15 minutes ago." one of the men answered.

"Was Stuart able to contact the barracks?" Miles asked.

"I believe so. We were told to bring the... you know. Here's your map with Stuart's coordinates.  He said to send you right away while there's still light. It's a beach spot but you'll still want to be quick about it. The three of you are to return here and bunk down with us tonight and then you'll head back in the morning."

Miles reached out and took the map as Sawyer growled. 

"Nuh Uh. No way- that ain't part of the deal. We go back tonight!" Sawyer insisted. 

"Uh... Sir. There's no vehicle here so even if you did wanna walk it would take you all night and you wouldn't get there til morning anyhow. Tomorrow is our stations shift change so there will be a van here at first light." 

"Well, what about the damn boat? We can take it around."

"We don't keep fuel at the station- it stays with the vehicles. The nearest vehicle is at The Pearl- hours away on foot. Plus-you'll need the boat fuel to get to the drop point and back- I guess you might be able to take the boat part way but you'll be going around the north point and if you run outta gas you're still going to be walking pretty much the same distance." 

"Sonofabitch... There's gotta be a way to..."  
Jin stepped up and put a hand on Sawyer's shoulder to silence him.

"Where is _the package_?" Jin asked carefully. His tone was calm. 

The two men both turned and moved back to the treeline, each of them grabbing an end of the black body bag and carrying down the beach. They set the body into the front of the boat.

"If you stay on course it shouldn't take you more than an hour n a half to get there and back."

"You better be right Einstein!" Sawyer spat like a stubborn 11 year old.

  
They guy pointed at his Dharma jumpsuit under his name tag where the letters clearly spelled out "Mathematician"  

"I am." He replied confidently checking his watch as the team shoved off into the water yet again.

Sawyer shot the man a scowl as he hoisted himself back in and pulled the motor, bringing it to life with a guttural low hum. He paused as Jin and Miles settled back in. Jin reclaiming his center seat and Miles taking the floorboards in front of Sawyer. He was not about to ride shotgun with _the corpse_. Miles looked at the black bagged heap and let out a frustrated sigh.

"Jim, let's go." Miles said in a solemn tone trying to get Sawyer on task by using his first name. He knew he had promised Juliet they'd be back today and had to admit even he felt a little unnerved by the distance between them and the barracks.  

 

 ..........

Juliet and Amy had just begun opening boxes when the phone rang in the rec center. Juliet's breath caught in her throat as Amy moved to quickly answer it. 

"This is Amy. Hello Horace. Yes, she's here. Okay, I'll talk to you later." Amy blushed then handed the phone to Juliet. 

"Hey~ Horace..." She greeted him as coolly as she could manage. Her voice wavered nonetheless and there was no question that she was concerned.

Juliet nodded and listened carefully as Horace explained that he had gotten word from Stuart on The Hydra. The last he knew James, Miles and Jin were on their way back to the island to finish their mission. He expressed that they left the smaller island close to sunset and apologized that it appeared there would be no safe way they could be back to the barracks tonight. Juliet bit her lower lip as the corner of her mouth twitched. Amy sighed as she watched Juliet carefully monitoring her expressions. Juliet's eyes stared at the floor as Horace finished informing her of the circumstances with the answer to the only question she had left to ask. They were okay. No one was hurt. Everything was just running a bit behind schedule, they weren't reachable yet be he seemed confident that things were running smoothly.

She nodded and brought her fingers up to her lips as she released an audible breath she wasn't aware she had been holding. She heard Horace also let go of a sigh. Juliet frowned realizing he felt badly. She knew he was a genuinely good person. 

"Thank you, for calling. I know you didn't have to and I do appreciate it."

Juliet forced a tiny smile, partly so he could hear her gratitude and partly because she knew Amy would be giving him the report of how well she took the news later. 

Juliet hung up the phone and turned to Amy with a full fake smile that went straight up to her eyes, she sucked in a breath and held it. Amy scrunched her nose and walked over to give Juliet a hug. Juliet shook her head slightly and let out the sigh. She stared at the ceiling and blinked back the feelings that were swirling around in her eyes. 

"Hey...They'll be okay. Their _your guys_ \- I know... C'mon. I'm pretty sure the snack area here has a freezer that contains 1 carton of Rocky Road ice cream." Amy said as she separated from Juliet and pulled her towards a small kitchen. Juliet nodded agreeing reluctantly that she was worrying about something she clearly had no control of. She blinked sweetly and followed Amy obediently.

"Really? And how would you know that?" Juliet played along, her voice just above a whisper.

"Because I brought it!" Amy smiled widely.

Juliet let out a sincere laugh. She was grateful for Amy in so many ways, it had been years since she had a true girl friend. Rachel was always her go -to- person. Amy wasn't Rachel by any stretch- but she was kind and they honestly had a nice time when they were together. 

They dished up bowls of ice cream and moved back to unload costumes.  Juliet tried to listen politely as Amy rambled on about last years party but her face had obviously faded into silent rumination, her ice cream spoon halting too frequently between her bowl and her mouth. She was running worst case scenarios through he mind. _What she would do if the guys didn't return? What if one of them was injured?  Or worse? How would she convince the Dharma Initiative to help her?_   _If they didn't, would she go to Richard?_ Juliet's breath hitched uncomfortably. She needed to hear from them.

Amy sensed Juliet's more serious mood and changed the topic accordingly. She informed Juliet that she couldn't find Sam so she'd gone to Roger's to get the keys but he'd been passed out drunk on the couch. Roger's son Ben took them off his key ring for her while she waited outside.  Juliet's attention was brought back by the mention of little Benjamin Linus. She asked Amy what she knew about them and Amy didn't know much but noted that Horace knew them pretty well. Amy lowered her voice and continued with her gossip. They were alone in the rec center but Juliet stepped closer anyhow- humoring the idea that she was about to hear something interesting. 

"Apparently, Roger has... quite a temper. Olivia, at the school house told me that Ben has come to school with black and blue marks on more than one occasion. Poor kid." 

"That's horrible." Juliet replied trying to keep the visual of Ben the child in her mind vs Ben the adult. 

"I know, what can anyone do though? He doesn't have a mother. It's not like there's a social services or even a psychiatrist out here. It's so sad. Maybe he has a friend? ...that he can talk to..." 

Amy looked at Juliet and her expression changed. Suddenly Juliet got the feeling they weren't talking about Ben anymore. Juliet blinked slowly in thought- her mind was caught between the idea that Ben was an abused kid and whatever information it was that Amy was attempting to elicit from her. Her mind bounced back to that night not long ago at Amy's when she'd asked about her and James.  Juliet tipped her head and arched an eyebrow at her friend- she leaned against the pool table and addressed Amy head on.

"Amy? Is there something you want to ask me?" Juliet said knowing Amy wasn't going to let it go until she had her answers. 

"I'm sorry! I know it's none of my business, it's just- I'm worried about you." The words fell from Amy's mouth as she dropped into a nearby chair guiltily.

"You don't need to be. I'm fine. Things with James are good... Better." Juliet's eyebrows angled together in confusion, she didn't know why she felt like she had to defend James all of the sudden.  
"It's just... that night, you had some not so subtle "clumsy" marks yourself and..." Amy blurted out. Juliet forced a breath out of her mouth. It was Bill, she had nearly forgotten that Amy had noticed. Amy must have thought it was James.

"Oh, No. I don't... That wasn't because of James-  James wouldn't hurt me. He would never..." Juliet paused. 

"That's what James told Horace too." Amy said looking up at Juliet apologetically.

Juliet arched her neck and shook her head in hurt acknowledgement that she had been the center of attention yet again on the Dharma gossip train. Discreteness was absolutely unheard of here. It also sadly occurred to her that Horace had approached James about it. Her stomach dropped. Suddenly she felt isolated.

"It was Bill all along wasn't it? He's crazy. I knew I should've said something sooner! I'm such a fool." Amy said dropping her head in her hands.

Juliet walked over and sat next to Amy on the arm of the chair. She took a deep breath and set the truth free.

"It's not your fault, Amy. It's mine. My track record in the relationship department is pretty horrendous." She paused for a moment staring at the pool cues hanging against the far wall then continued- a slight change in her tone implied that there was an anger brewing just below the surface.

"I should have seen him coming from a mile away. Bill. ....and actually, I can't say that I didn't. I... I just.."  Juliet stopped as her words ceased mid sentence as if to accent her behavior by demonstration. She closed her eyes and forced a breath out.

"Froze?" Amy helped sympathetically.

Juliet turned her head to Amy and gave a weak smile then nodded.

"Memories of your ex?" Amy asked and stated at the same time. Juliet felt her features melt. She averted her eyes and withdrew for a moment into her mind as she spoke evenly.

"Edmund. "Ed"...my ex... was. uh- He was a megalomaniac and a narcissist." Juliet said straight faced as she gazed blankly out the window. Amy gave her a confused look at the choice of her words and said nothing. Juliet softly smiled and tried again.

"He didn't want me to be happy, because I suppose- he wasn't... He was abusive. Which... I think you've already figured out... and it didn't end well." Juliet said as her eyes fluttered in confirmation that's all she had to say about it tonight. Amy nodded in understanding this time.

"I'm sorry." Amy replied as she set her hand on Juliet's comfortingly.

"Me too. I thought I'd changed a lot since then but- I guess there was something about _him_... " Juliet shook her head and rolled her neck as she stood up- she gave a small stretch and moved back to the last of the boxes. 

The two of them finished up and Amy lightened the mood by pulling out her choices of costumes for people they knew- She purposely set things aside for all of them and Juliet agreed that if things went well she would _try_ to get the guys to come to Horace's Halloween Bash.

As they left the rec center Amy paused.

"I'm glad you told me. I mean even though I guessed that it was true I'm sorry I was right. BUT I meant it when I said I am here for you."

"Thank you Amy."

"Anytime! Now, I need to get the key back before Roger wakes up." Amy looped an elbow through Juliet's like a childhood friend as Juliet nodded and they moved to the lawn.

"How'd you get away? From your ex- "Ed?" Amy asked trying to shift the focus off of the bad memories and redirect Juliet's thoughts to ridding herself of him.

"He died." She said flatly.

Amy's eyes went wide. Juliet could see the question that Amy was too afraid to ask _. "Did you?"_ was written all over her face. Juliet smiled weakly. She didn't have it in her to kill anyone before she came to this island, but she also knew that was one big part of her that had changed. She stared at her feet and answered with a shake of her head. She wasn't even upset at the insinuation. Looking back on it- she almost wished she had killed him.

"He was hit by a bus" Juliet said in an honest and soft tone as her memory flashed to that day standing on the sidewalk in front of the research center.

"Oh..." Amy let out an audible sigh and gave Juliet's arm a squeeze as they walked into the dark courtyard.

"I'd say that's pretty fair karma." Amy said stoically. 

 


	41. Chapter 41

Sawyer killed the motor again as Jin and Miles picked up the paddles attached to the inside of the boat and began inching them closer to land.

"You think we're close enough to the drop zone?" Miles inquired. He kept finding himself staring at the body bag in the front of the boat. He'd been trying to get a reading on the guy since they pushed off but had gotten nothing but the sloshing sounds of water rocking against their boat.

"Hell if I know Enos, gimme the map!" Sawyer snapped - Miles slipped it out of his pocket and passed it behind himself without even looking. Sawyer huffed and took it- holding it up to see it better.

"Wish I had a damn watch." Sawyer said - stretching out his arm with the map to it's furthest length with a squint before reaching over and slamming it on Miles shoulder so he'd take it back. He wasn't about to admit that he couldn't read the damn thing even it was light enough. 

"How we suppose to know when it's gunna completely get dark? We only got like 45 minutes each way right? At least, according to Mister _"It shouldn't take you more than an hour and half to get back"_ Sawyer sneered clearly imitating the Arrow mathematician that had given Miles the map.

Jin turned to the west and held his hand sideways as the last of the daylight settled behind the island. 

"We've been gone 30 minutes. I think. Harder to tell on East side of island" Jin said confidently.

Sawyer and Miles both shot Jin a curious look then realized he'd made that same gesture earlier when Sawyer had asked to use the phone at The Arrow and been denied. Jin had been keeping track of the time all along.

"Well alright Magellan! Let's park this dump truck and take out the trash - it's startin' to smell and I wanna get our asses back to the station 'fore we can't see it no more." 

"Yeh great, just when I thought my pants were almost dry from the last time."  Miles commented with a groan as he and Sawyer got out of the boat once again and pulled it onto the sand. 

"Alright Jin-Bo, pass me  _Frère Jacques_ first. This sleeping troll's bound to be wakin' up sooner rather than later, I'd prefer if it weren't in my arms."

Miles held the boat as Jin took the sack off the hostile's head and shifted the unconscious man onto Sawyer's lowered shoulders. Sawyer trudged up the beach straight for the where the sand met the grass and dropped to his knees, rolling the guy off his back before turning to head back to the boat for the other.

Jin had dropped the body overboard and jumped in next to it. He was pulling one end of the black bag through the shallows from the boat with a hunting knife between his teeth as Miles moved to pick up the end that was still floating in the calf deep water. The second Miles touched the bag he let go as though he'd been burned and fell to his knees with a pained gasp, grabbing his head. 

Jin stopped and Sawyer jogged back towards them closing the gap. 

"Ya alright? Miles?" Sawyer said with enough concern to use Miles's real name. 

Miles put a hand up to silence them as his eyes closed and opened tightly as though he had gotten sand in his eyes. Jin set the bag down and removed the blade from his mouth as he gave Sawyer an unsure look. After several minutes of awkward silence Miles pushed himself back to his feet and gave the both Sawyer and Jin a serious look. He swallowed hard then spoke.

"He didn't just drown. He _was_ drowned. This is bad. We need to go." Miles tone took on the same intensity as the night Sawyer had been run over by the smoke monster with Juliet and Bill. He started trying to push the boat back out into the water by himself uselessly as his eyes scanned the shore.

"Sonofa.... Drowned as in murdered?! By Ol'Smokey?" Sawyer asked more aggressively than he probably should have.

Miles took a deep breath and blew it out his cheeks in frustration.

"I don't think so. I think it was a person. There were fingers, hands pressing him down. Holding... him down."

"Bill." Jin said quietly.

Miles shot a look at him like maybe he was right then stepped purposely back to the body and leaned down reached out to it, touching the bag covered torso. He ducked his head and closed his eyes tightly. He started shaking his head lightly.

"Now he's just repeating the name Jacob.  Jacob... It's not like a warning though, it's more like a... loved one- I think." Miles pulled his hand back and shook his head apologetically.

"I don't know alright! I told you before. It's not a science. It makes sense that it could've been Bill... or the Smoke Monster. Either way I'd feel a hell of a lot better if we could discuss it somewhere else." Miles looked up almost pleadingly as he gestured back to the boat. 

Jin reached back down without another question and started pulling the bag up the beach as Sawyer shoved his hair back and moved around to grab the opposite end. His mind began spinning with questions. They dropped the corpse about 20 yards up the beach from his buddy and Jin cut the bag free. The both stuck their faces in their shirts at the foul smell that instantly began to rise. Jin picked up a few heavy rocks and put them in the bag then rolled it as the two of them headed back to the boat.

"You think they see our tracks?" Jin questioned, looking back. Sawyer followed his gaze and growled with a heavy sigh. 

"Yeh. Probably.  Go help the Oracle of Doom wouldja? I'll meetcha in a minute." Sawyer said gesturing to Jin to go to Miles as he pulled a palm like branch off a nearby tree and began sweeping their footprints away like an eraser. The sun was now officially gone. The moon rising and reflecting nicely off of the water as Sawyer finished concealing the evidence of their presence and tossed the branch aside. 

Miles was near the boat - half pacing- he kept stroking his his upper lip, his eyes darting to the trees and back with a nervousness that made all of them uncomfortable. Jin took hold of the boat and called for Miles, who quickly moved to finish heaving it back into the water. 

"Yer killin' me Smalls... startin' to remind me of Danny boy-with all yer  _crazy_ walkin' n talkin'. Start rowin' and let's get the hell outta here." Sawyer said sarcastically as he waded into the waves before pulling himself in and joining Jin and Miles who were in the boat waiting for him. In honesty, he was starting to feel anxious and couldn't rightly explain why. 

They rowed out far enough to safely start the motor and after about 20 minutes of silence and following the shoreline northward in the dark with little more than a flashlight to guide them- Jin spoke.

"Rousseau." He said reaching down to his feet and picking up the weighted but otherwise empty body bag before dropping it into the dark water to watch it sink. His gaze moved from Miles to Sawyer and back.

Miles and Sawyer looked at Jin curiously.

"Huh? The hell you tryin' to say Kimchi? She ain't here- 'case you forgot. and unfortunately fer us she ain't helpin' no one blow up anything anymore either. She's dead. Side's that - the _other_ her didn't get stuck here for another 10 years..."

"No, during flash. I see her- Rousseau she tell the man on the beach he was "changed" by the "Monster." This man say there was _no_ monster, but...then try to kill Rousseau. She shoot him dead. This man, he was her lover, her baby father."

There was another silence as both Miles and Sawyer tried to put together what Jin was saying.

"So, you think the Smoke Monster changed _the man_?-with Rousseau?  like... possessed him? To kill her? Why not just do it himself?" Miles frowned due to the obvious capabilities of the Smoke Monster that they were all aware of. Sawyer reached out and slammed his hand harshly into the side of the boat in a moment of revelation. 

"Dammnit!. Cus... He can't kill just anyone. The hostiles-they're protected or somethin'. Remember I toldja-when we went to talk to em. That Eloise chick, she called Smokey the "Man in Black"... Sawyer paused trying to recall the information from that day and cursing to himself for expecting Juliet to be in charge of remembering the details.  

"Awe C'mon! Juliet knows more than I do!! She was one of the protected for cryin' out loud!"

" _was..._ " Miles echoed somberly recalling Juliet's mark and what she claimed it meant.

Sawyer's expression angered as his dimples deepened in frustration as he thought. His nostrils flared for a moment as he reeled in his emotions. His voice calmed and turned to Jin with dead seriousness. 

"Jin... You think Ol'Smokey got his claws on Bill dontcha?"

"Yes."

Sawyer swallowed. Once Jin answered him- Sawyer knew it was the most likely truth. Billy Boy had killed the hostile, which meant he was alive and probably headed right back to Dharmaville to finish what was started. Richard's jungle story was becoming dangerously too real. If the Man in Black was controlling the Cowboy like a game master in some twisted contest of survival that no one knew they were playing then Sawyer knew that he would be coming for them. His heart clenched in his chest.

They all knew Bill was an alpha dog and had both a an obsessive soft spot as well a tendency for violence when it came to Juliet. The scary part was that Sawyer didn't know which of Casanova's emotions towards Juliet were stronger. Sawyer's body tensed as Bill's words echoed through his mind. He knew Juliet had kept more than their kiss from him and now he was seriously regretting not having found out more. 

.....

_-" What do you want to know LaFleur? That I know about her "scar" cus- she showed it to me? "_

_-" ...Or maybe you want to hear how she showed it to me. Did she tell you I kissed her?"_

_\- "She doesn't belong with you, you don't deserve her- and maybe she knows it."_

_\- "Go head LaFleur, kill me....Cus... if.. you don't..."_

_......_

"Juliet" Sawyer whispered, not meaning to say it aloud. 

Miles pulled out the map and flashlight as Jin repeated Sawyers word in confirmation that he was thinking the same. 

They needed to get home- Sawyer hit the throttle as Miles alternated flashing their light to shoreline for markers and reading the map. 

After what felt like forever inside their own minds Jin finally spotted the single torch tucked into the tree line.

 

.........

 

Juliet had parted with Amy and headed home. At least it was close to bedtime and the sooner she fell asleep the sooner she would wake up to the guys returning and the sooner things would be back to normal. It was easier said than done tonight though. Just knowing she was safely behind the barracks fences and they were all out there- somewhere- unprotected made her stomach uneasy. 

Even though Juliet had eaten some ice cream at the rec center she didn't feel like trying to eat anything else tonight. She changed into James's over-sized white T-shirt as pajamas, brushed her teeth and grabbed the book Miles had left her- James was already over half way done with it and had folded the corner of a page- marking his place. She smiled at a memory of him sitting there in the living room chair reading. _Glasses. Damnitt._  She cursed at herself for forgetting. _Tomorrow!_ She'd drag him to the medical station tomorrow and get his eyes checked.  

Juliet climbed into bed, flipped on her bedside lamp and opened the book. After reading only the first two pages, she let the book drop from her line of sight to her chest with a sigh. She really wasn't in the mood for a book right now. Her brain was fluttering with worry. Her eyes moved around the room and she found that her fingers were tapping restlessly. She set the book on the bedside table and turned out the lamp beside her plopping down onto her back in a huff and staring at the grayish ceiling through the softly moonlit room. Juliet turned to her side... Her eyes wouldn't close. She tossed to her other side and stared at James's empty pillow. _"They're fine!"_

After checking the clock for the 5th time, and silently stopping the conversations and scenarios racing around inside her head for what felt like the 20th time - Juliet slid out of bed. She padded to the kitchen and reached for the bottle of Amy's anti-anxiety sleeping pills off the table. She took out a pill and popped it in her mouth- simultaneously turning, grabbing a cup and running it under the tap for a drink of water to wash it down. It was robotic. She didn't want to think about it, she didn't want to think about anything right now. She stood in the darkened room then leaned against the kitchen cabinets and stared at the door. She wiped her palms down her thighs and pushed off the counter top with a pathetic sigh to herself that she was once again reduced to accepting help from a bottle.  She shook her head at the direction her mind had taken as she subconsciously moved to pick up the kitchen chair and place it in front of the door. As she set it down she closed her eyes in acknowledgement. 

_Really? Jeezus Juliet- You' have to stop this._

She picked the chair back up to return it just as the phone rang. Juliet let the chair drop and spun, grabbing her hair and pulling it around her shoulder as she swiftly moved to pick it up.

"James?" She answered- unintentionally allowing her voice to pitch higher.

There was silence. Juliet held the receiver tightly to her ear as her fingers danced along her bottom lip.

"Hello? James? Is that you? Miles?... Anyone there?"

There was a click - then the phone disconnected. Juliet stood frozen as she pressed her finger over the button to hang up the line- still gripping the receiving end in disbelief. Maybe something had happened. _James._

She let go of the button and allowed the dial tone to come through before quickly tapping the number to the security station.  Three rings later Phil answered with and irritable groan. 

" _Yeh?_ "

"Phil? This is Juliet. I hate to bother you but did... James call you? I just had a call but the line was disconnected. I thought maybe..."

" _Yeh hey, no. How are you? Sorry,  If I know LaFleur they'll probably be checking in soon though. I heard they have to spend the night out at the Arrow with the surveying crew. Poor them!"_

Juliet nodded to herself and let out a sigh. 

"Okay- thank you. If you would just have one of them call me when they do."

" _Course...If ya need... anything- just... holler."_ Phil said with a hint of snarkiness in his voice.

Juliet arched a brow and rolled her eyes. There was a reason Phil was single. His idea of flirting was often just rude. She was sure Phil had already told people that he single-handedly rescued her from a torque wrench wielding psycho twice his size.  

"O-Will do, Phil. Goodnight." Juliet said as politely as if his offer had been sincere.

She hung up the line and let out a breath- her eyes were getting heavy. 

 

Juliet made it half way down the hall when the phone rang yet again. She ran into the bedroom and dove onto the bed as she reached for it, figuring it was closer than going back to the kitchen.

"Hello!?" She said- out of breath.

 _"Juliet! Are you okay!?"_  

Juliet's eyebrows angled together at the sound of his voice. She smiled as she steadied her breaths shifting herself upright and bending a knee up to rest her elbow on it as her fingers laced through her blond waves.

 _"James! What? Yes, of course- I'm fine. Are you guys alright? Horace said..._ "

  
"Yeh. Yeh we're all good. We're grounded out here with Hewey, Louie and Dewey decimal though. You'd probably love em." Sawyer joked. Juliet let out a light laugh. She was glad to hear his humor was still intact.

 _"You're probably right. So... How'd it go?_ " Juliet asked, her tone turning serious. She heard Sawyer sigh heavily.

 _"Listen Blondie, I gotta tell ya something but you gotta promise me you won't do anything stupid. I mean it. Absolutely nothin'._ " Sawyer said returning her inflection.

"James...? What's going on? We already discussed this before you left- no one is doing anything stupid. That means either of us." Juliet said warily and warningly.

_"I know, I know- I ain't gunna- I wanna but I can't cus.. the "math" apparently ain't in my favor."_

He didn't know why he was choking on telling her the fact that Bill was most definitely free roaming the island, but at that moment he almost felt it would be better if she didn't know- not til he was there, in person, so he could watch her back. Plus there was no way Bill could've made it back already. Was there? He shoulda' called Horace first.

"You're scaring me." Juliet said after a brief silence. She could hear a voice in the background and her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to make out what it was saying.

"James. Put Miles on."

" _Wha? Miles? No way... He.._ " Juliet heard a struggle for the phone before the clear sound of Sawyer's voice fading angrily.

_"Juliet?"_

Juliet huffed.

"Miles. What happened? What is James not telling me?" Juliet said as though she were a mother attempting to get the details on a fight at school from the younger brother of the perpetrator. 

 _"I...He... We..._ " Miles started and stopped, Juliet could feel that he was looking at James in contemplation.

"Miles, if you don't... tell me- I am hanging up this phone, heading down to the Motor Pool, stealing a van and coming out there to. kick. your..." 

" _Alright, Alright Jeezus- It's Bill. We think* he took a boat back to the big island. He's gone. No one can find him."_ Miles said guiltily.

"What? How? How is that even possible Miles!? When? During the storm? Do you have any idea how unsafe it is out there right now?! How do you know for sure?" Juliet rattled off questions as the corner of her mouth twitched involuntarily. She blinked hard. Her mind was getting foggy. 

"How?" She repeated as she brought her fingers up to her temple remembering she'd just asked that.  _Great! Just great!  You couldn't have waited 20 more minutes._ She thought to herself about the pill she'd just swallowed.

 _"Actually.._." Miles started but Juliet heard the phone shuffle yet again. She heard Sawyer faintly scolding Miles _"Gimme that, Goddammit!"_ before his voice returned to the line.

_"The Arrow found the boat, just 'fore we got back from... I'll tell ya later, that ain't important right now. What's important is staying safe. We're gunna be back first thing in the mornin' ain't nothin' happened yet. We got time on our side. I ain't gunna make fun of ya if ya wanna spend the night at Amy's._

Juliet swallowed. 

_......._

_"Rachel dropped down on Juliet's bed in a huff._

_"Juliet, we don't have time to pretend like we care about Ed's feelings here. Or... like he has any. You need to do it this weekend. He's at the conference in Dallas until Sunday! You have had the papers for months."_

_"No, I know. You're right. " Juliet's fingers nervously looped in and out through the buttonholes on her blouse._

_"You're sure you don't mind me staying with you for awhile? Just until I find a place." She continued._

_"Oh mY God. Who are you and what have you done with my sister!?"  Rachel replied sarcastically - standing up and crossing to Juliet who was leaning nervously against the wall. Rachel put her hands on each of Juliet's upper arms, noticing her wince ever so slightly._

_Rachel squinted and she let go with a sigh._

_"Someday, You'll tell me everything." She said in a calm motherly tone. She knew Juliet well enough to know she usually couldn't express herself right away. She needed time._

_"You know I'd do it for you if I could." Rachel continued._

_"Although, it might ruin any chance of Edmund ever reproducing in the future. WHICH would probably be a blessing to society, if you think about it."_

_Juliet let out a weak laugh. She knew her sister was trying to make her feel better. She'd been planning this for so long that she really thought she was ready. Now that she had an open suitcase in front of her- her chest was so tight she didn't even think she could breathe let alone move._

_"I have a friend in that works at the Precinct down at the beach. He already said he'd happily serve the papers to Ed on Monday. All you have to do is... not be here."_

_......_

   
"And... You think I need to do that? Not be here?"

Juliet dropped her foot to the floor with a thud as she realized what James was thinking.

"You think Bill is coming back here." Juliet shook her head-. She wanted to argue that this was the last place he would come but her energy was draining fast.

"Promise me you'll stay there at the station until morning like you're suppose to." Juliet said evenly.

"Like I said, I ain't got much choice."

"Good." 

"Good? What the hell you mean good?! Juliet..." Sawyer incorrectly sensed that Juliet was plotting and he wasn't happy about it. Why was she being so calm!?

  
"I should call Amy before it gets too late." She said lightly, clearly lacking any emotional response.

"Dammitt, don't you leave them barracks and come out here after us- you hear me?" Sawyer raised his voice and Juliet felt her eyes water helplessly. She honestly didn't know why he was getting so upset. She thought she'd taken the news pretty well considering he was telling her that their new nemesis was potentially headed back to town and he thought this was all going to end badly. 

"I won't"

"I'm serious."

  
"I won't." She said more convincingly and meant it.

"K. Listen- I guess I should go... and Hey? you there?" Sawyer asked realizing Juliet had fallen silent.

"Yeh. Tired." She replied tipping her body sideways and dropping her head to her pillow.

"I love you. I'll be there- soon as I can." Sawyer said followed by the sound of a smack and Miles letting out a whine in the background. Juliet smiled as her eyes fluttered closed. She was pretty sure James was punching Miles in the arm for making fun of his feelings.

"I love you back... James? Be careful." 

"You got it Blondie- sleep tight."

Juliet's smile quickly faded as she looked at the clock while reaching over to hang up the phone. It was too late to bother Amy. She wasn't about to get dressed and trounce over there. Amy was probably at Horace's anyhow. James was right, time was on their side. She rolled her neck and yawned as she slid herself under the sheets and flipped off the lamp. She had to admit even she thought she should be more concerned about Bill being loose. There was no way he'd be able to walk back from there in a day- she'd made similar treks before. She'd have to worry about it tomorrow. Juliet breathed deeply as sleep overtook her.

 

 .....

_Juliet felt the bed beside her shift. She smiled and let out a light breath._

_"Hey, you made it back" She whispered sweetly, not bothering to open her eyes._

_She felt a hand reach over and brush her cheek and her breath instantly caught in her throat at the unfamiliar touch. She rolled to her back and her eyes flew open as a body mounted her over the covers, effectively pinning her lower body as the form above her moved his hands  to wrap around her thin wrists. Juliet's nostrils flared and she bucked her hips upward, trying to shift him off. His blue eyes stared down menacingly at her._

_"Going somewhere Jules?" he said moving his face down just inches from hers. Juliet stopped struggling, her brain was telling her that Edmund was dead but the pressure against her chest was implying that he was very much alive and that she was trapped._

_Juliet let out an apologetic whimper and shook her head._

_"No."_

_"I know everything Juliet. You can't just get rid of me. You'll see. Everything is going just as planned." He growled.  Juliet's brow furrowed in confusion. The voice wasn't right, it was deeper than it should be. It wasn't Edmund's and...he didn't know. He was still in Dallas- she remembered it clearly. She'd packed the suitcase herself. This was a dream. She forced her body to relax and her expression drained._

_"You're not real." She whispered to the form above and almost as soon as the words left her mouth the figure dissipated off of her then morphed into a funnel of darkness backing against the wall- Ed's face reappeared then began to change- just as it did once before. His eye's went from a blue to a steely green- his face became more angular and his hair grew longer and darker as he stepped out of the shadows. His shoulders broadened. Juliet clenched her eyes closed- willing the nightmare away. She jolted upright then slid quickly out of bed to her feet. Her eyes darted from Bill to the open doorway and down the hall. He stepped towards the door silently and Juliet froze. Her mouth twitched as her heart raced._

_"Bill." She said softly confirming the recognition of the dream apparition knowing that James would not be able to wake her this time. He smiled with a hint of a feeling just below the surface. Betrayal._

_"How many times do I have to tell you-I don't want to see you hurt Juliet."_

_"Then leave me alone and I wont be, I swear. You don't belong here."  Her eyebrows angled in fear as she wiped the sweat that was forming on her upper lip._

_"What do I have to do to prove to you that he's not right for you."_

_"This isn't real. This is a dream... You can't hurt me." Juliet said as she attempted to move awkwardly towards the doorway._

_Bill turned curiously to watch her as she snapped and started running down the hall towards the front door. He spun and followed with long slow strides at first then lunged and caught her as she shoved the kitchen chair aside and turned the lock. Bill quickly slammed her hard against the door. Juliet let out a whimper as the wind was knocked out of her. He pressed her cheek solidly against the cool wood. Stepping into her space and rubbing against her body from behind into the white thigh length T-shirt she'd worn to bed. Juliet's face contorted as he held her in place with his body, one hand on her hair- the other locked on her hand which gripped the doorknob._

_"Still a dream?" He said whispering in her ear as the warm feel of his body pressed into hers._

_"Where's LaFleur?"_

_Juliet shook her head as best she could as tears began to roll frustratingly down her face. It was the same callousness she'd heard in his voice that day outside the fence._

_"Let go of me." Juliet demanded as evenly as she could manage._

_"I'm afraid I can't do that. See, I need you. We can help you. He listens to me. You were wrong. He's not dangerous- he's here to help and I want to help you, Jules."_

_Bill dropped his head gently against the back of Juliet's, which was still pressed to the door, and sighed. Juliet let out a ragged breath. Bill  turned his head and looked around briefly as though he were expecting someone._

_"Okay, Maybe you're right and I'm just a dream. We can't exactly let you roam around town in this though." He said in a slightly amused tone as he referred to her attire. Suddenly, he pulled her head back and rocked it forward forcefully into the door. Swirling blackness hit her like a bucket of water to the face and her body gave out instantly._

_.........._

 

"Hey!- Wake up Sunshine!" The voice felt like pulses of electricity. Her mind was responding but her body felt weak. 

Juliet's eyes fluttered open in confusion, squinting at the sunlight beaming through the living room curtains.

"James?" She said in disbelief.

"Ya okay? The hell ya doin' out here? Somethin' wrong with the bed?..." Sawyer said with a wide grin as he reached one hand out to her then the other.

"Nice jammies" he continued.

"I..I..."

Juliet stuttered then purposely held her breath and tipped her head at him as she tried to collect her thoughts and take in her surroundings. She was on the couch with a blanket lying on the floor near her feet. Her head was pounding. She pushed herself upright and rubbed her face -honestly not knowing why she was on the couch. She remembered having a hard time falling asleep and guessed she had come out to the living room to wait. Juliet couldn't help but beam a smile up to him as she took his hands. He pulled her to her feet and she folded herself into his arms before her features melted from happy to a choked sob. The warmth of his chest felt like burning- the smell of his shirt was awful and the feel of his 3 day scruff rubbed harshly against her face. She loved it. She missed him so much.

"Woah. C'mon now. We both made a deal not to do nuthin' stupid. Don't go losin' it on me now just cus I listened to ya fer once. And don't make me go get the guys an' have him tell ya how much I complained 'bout it all night."

Juliet looked up into his squinting lagoon blue eyes and pinched Sawyer's arm.

"Ow! Hey whatcha do that for?" 

"Just making sure you're real" She said sweetly before pausing at her own words curiously.

"Well, I am. and....I missed you too" Sawyer said as his dimples happily dented his face. He brushed away a stray tear from Juliet's face and replaced the location with his lips before working his way down to hers. 

"Mmm mornin' breath" He teased as Juliet let out a laugh and nodded in confirmation. She pulled back and lightly brought her fingers up to cover her mouth -she felt hungover. She paused as she tucked a chunk of hair behind her ear and came across a tender knot just above her temple in her hairline.  Her face flashed like that of an embarrassed teenager before returning the compliment. 

"You smell... really bad.."

Sawyer's brow furrowed for a moment, then he laughed as Juliet completely separated from him and she morphed her expression into an arched mischievous grin over her shoulder before casually turning and disappearing into the bathroom.  He opened his arms wide silently saying " _Awe C'mon "_ Once the door closed. Sawyer let out a deep sigh. He couldn't even express how glad he was that nothin' had happened before he made it back. He turned towards the kitchen to start a pot of coffee and paused as he caught sight of the kitchen chair, tossed carelessly on it's side. He frowned instantly realizing he hadn't needed to move it when he came in. 

 

 .......

 


	42. Chapter 42

Juliet stood in the shower thinking about her seemingly dreamless sleep. She had a strange feeling that she needed to remember it but it was lost to her. Sawyer opened the door and came into the bathroom to grab his tooth brush. He paused as he watched her silhouette behind the curtain. She turned towards the spray catching sight of him. Juliet smiled as he cleared his throat so she knew he'd come in.

"You okay?" Juliet said in acknowledgement of his presence.

"Yeh. Long night. You? I see you didn't make it to Amy's." He said in return as he loaded his toothbrush and leaned his backside against the bathroom counter casually. 

"It wasn't me I was worried about. You know that. You guys were lucky. The Dharma Initiative may have ulterior motives for being here but they also have no idea of the power that this place has which makes it even more dangerous. They're like kids playing with an electrical outlet."

"No joke, Gretel, it's hard to follow the breadcrumbs of these candy asses knowin' ain't none of em gunna be around in another decade." Sawyer said in between brushing his teeth.

"...and the body?" Juliet asked, softly inquiring.

"It's taken care of- for now." Miles's words flashed through his mind. 

Both of them were were quiet for a moment.

"I'm glad no one got hurt." Juliet said honestly as she slowly spun the bar of soap between her fingers creating a soft white lather.

Sawyer stopped brushing his teeth, he couldn't lie,  he was happy as hell to be back.  He turned to spit, letting out a humming sound in agreement.

"Ya work today?" Sawyer said after rinsing his mouth. He pushed his hair back as his eyes one again drifted over to her feminine silhouette. 

"Uh Huh. I'll plan on dinner tonight so we can go over everything."

"Alright, I'll tell the boys." She was right and they had a lot they needed to discuss.

"You going in this morning?" 

"Yup, just another day at the office. I gotta make sure I didn't miss nothin' while we were gone- plus I got a few things that need checkin' "  _like the fence codes._ Sawyer silently reminded himself.

"They're using Room 23 aren't they?"  Juliet asked all too casually as she turned off the water. Sawyer grimaced.

 _Of course she knows about it you idiot. She was over there when Karl was in the damn room._ Sawyer thought to himself before letting out a huff and reaching to hand Juliet a towel as politely as he could without staring.

Juliet's face was calm and thoughtful as she accepted the towel and tucked it around herself. Her hair was twisted up on top of her head, still dry. She stepped out of the tub and moved to the mirror as Sawyer traded places with her and started undressing so he could shower next.

"Yeh- One of the four amigos you might remember from our Adventures in Wonderland trip in the jungle was plugged in, in 22. " Sawyer said as he tossed his shirt to the floor then moved to tug off his socks and the rest of his clothes while awkwardly hanging on to the towel rack beside him.

"The Cowboy was s'pose to be in 23. He wasn't. When we got a chance to go over the tapes a familiar swirling Plume of Doom was makin' itself very useful to Billy Boy."  Juliet untwisted her hair and let it fall to her shoulders. The corner of her mouth twitched and her eyes flashed a glossy blue look at Sawyer- She turned her body to face him as she picked up her hairbrush.  

"What?... Really? You think it helped him escape?... Are you sure?" Juliet's mouth dropped a bit as she processed his statement. 

"Pretty damn positive. Think _it_  ,"he" or whatever the hell that thing is- crossed over in a boat that drifted free from _our_ docks durin' the storm." Sawyer paused to gauge Juliet's reaction before turning the water back on. She hadn't moved except to avert her gaze from his. Her face was unreadable as he moved to slide behind the curtain.

"Why?" Juliet said aloud but mostly to herself as he disappeared from her sight.  She slowly began to drag the hairbrush almost mechanically through her thick blonde waves. She moved back to the mirror and was staring at the wall beyond her reflection when Sawyer's voice brought her back.

"If I had to guess, I'd say that Ol' Smokey went lookin' fer the Alpha dog after it ran into us at the fence. Jin thinks it's playing some mind game with him, says the same thing happened to Rousseau's people during the flashes...but I dunno if I believe that. Sonofabitch was already crazy before he met that thing." 

Juliet stopped moving and Sawyer peeked his head out of the shower briefly to see if she was still there then continued. He was actually making himself feel better just saying it all out loud. He was tired of holding back information and with Juliet he didn't need to - it was actually the opposite most of the time. He couldn't not tell her. She was smart and always thought of angles that he didn't. He needed her perspective to help him fill in the details. 

"Uh huh" She said idly. 

"Hey, listen. Sub leaves here in a couple weeks. That's plenty of time to bring him in. Hell, he may not even remember nothin' after being in 23. _Warden_ Stuart claims that hypnosisy stuff or whatever they use over there works pretty well at erasin' short term memories. We might even get lucky and find him walkin' in to the barracks like he was out on a damn picnic or somethin'. Now that I'm back, I ain't worried."

Juliet swallowed. She knew what James was saying made complete sense. She was glad he was being honest but still felt herself let out a ragged sigh.

"Ya good?" He questioned with a hint of worry.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She said calmly.

Sawyer turned off the water and slid the curtain back-Juliet looked over automatically and gave him a sweet smile then averted her gaze and returned the favor of handing him a fresh towel. He could see that she was lost in her head and needed the day to think on all the new information.

"Thank ya" He said tipping his head with a squinted grin before waggling his eyebrows. Juliet blinked slowly with that look he loved and gave him a little nod. She leaned in and gave him a soft kiss before moving out of the bathroom and down the hall to change into her work clothes as Sawyer let out a soft groan and wrapped his towel around his waist. He was still glistening wet as he headed back to the kitchen for coffee. He glanced back down the hall briefly towards the bedroom where Juliet was already half dressed. How they managed to have a functioning, thriving relationship within the parameters of the "Dharmadrama" was beyond comprehension. All he knew is that he was glad he  wasn't trying to get through it alone. 

.......

 

The guys spent the morning filling out their reports on the Hydra situation. They had stayed up pretty late the previous night at the Arrow coming up with a decent generic, disassociated story. Horace was hanging out in the security station as they wrote up their individual versions. Sawyer knew it was just coincidence but he couldn't help but feel like a kid trying to take a test and really wanting to know the answers his buddies in class had used while the teacher sat dangerously too close to find out. He sighed deeply as he finished his statement and slid his chair back loudly across the concrete floor.

The door opened to the station and Amy came down the steps with a brown paper bag and a plate of cookies resting carefully on top of it.

"Afternoon gentlemen-" she said timidly as she gave Horace and extended smile.  Amy set down a plate of cookies as Miles and Jin came out of the back room with their files completed as well.

"Howdy Shortcake, Look H - ain't that sweet. If I didn't know any better I'd say she was tryin' to..."

"Are those chocolate chunk?" Miles interrupted in a serious tone as he pushed passed Sawyer, eyeing the cookies.

"Thought you guys deserved a treat after having to spend the night out in the jungle."

Horace stood up and moved to Amy's side before giving her a small peck on the cheek. Amy's cheeks blushed at the tiny public display of affection but she kept a straight face.

Jin nodded in polite thanks as Miles took a cookie and passed one to Jin before taking a huge bite and groaning like it was the first cookie he'd ever eaten.

"Easy there Cookie Monster." Sawyer said with a laugh before taking a cookie for himself as well. 

"So...? Amy? Sumthin you wanna ask us?" Sawyer said suspiciously as he took a bite. The sweet sugar taste made his mouth water and he too found himself letting out a soft sound of enjoyment as he licked his lips and tipped his head.

Amy angled her eyebrows and bit her lower lip nervously. 

"Nothing gets past you does it Jim?" She smiled as Horace let out a soft chuckle.

"Nope." Sawyer's dimples beamed proudly.

"There's a... Halloween bash tomorrow night- after the kids come by. Juliet helped me set up the costumes last night and we... well, I was hoping you guys might swing by...It always turns out well when everyone gets involved in events. Kind of a morale booster, especially after the storm damage and power outage." Amy shot a shy look to Horace. Horace nodded in solidarity with her statement.

Sawyer tried hard not and didn't roll his eyes, but he did let out a sarcastic huff.   _Is she for real? How is there time to plan a party ? These people seriously have no idea the dangerous situations they are  continuously surrounded by! There's a potential killer on the loose for Christ's sake. Breathe, you got this... play along._ Sawyer felt his nostrils flare a bit and shook his head to try and imply that he was flattered to be invited.

"Uh. Gee Amy- that all sounds just swell. I'm sure we could find the time to gallivant our way through yer Halloween party- cept the boys n I here- well, we up and forgot to get costumes this year."

Amy reached over to the brown bag she had set on the metal table in the center of the room and slid it towards the trio of cookie faced, wide eyed Dharma jumpsuits. Miles, Jin and Sawyer all exchanged looks of socially awkward panic. Sawyer cleared his throat.

"I'm guessing that ain't more cookies."

  
"I knew we could count on you- I picked out three- you guys can decide who wants to be what." Amy said as a broad smile painted itself across her face. 

"H- can I get a moment of yer time- in the holding room." Sawyer said with a furrowed brow and a head tilt.

"Sure Jim." Horace said as he separated from Amy and followed Sawyer into the side room closing the door behind him. Jin opened the bag with a look of confusion- It was obvious to Miles that he was unfamiliar with the holiday.

"Tomorrow is October 31st. It's called "Halloween". It was started by the ancient Celts to mark the end of the harvest season and the beginning of winter. They believed that the transition between seasons was a bridge to "the world of the dead."  Over time the holiday kinda morphed from a pagan ritual to a day of celebration, costumes and candy. It's for kids.... and grown ups. A lot of cultures have their own versions of it." Miles said rolling his eyes as though he were reciting a textbook. This actually was his specialty. 

Jin nodded as he held up what appeared to be a pirate costume with a forced smile to Amy.

"That was very well said Miles. How do you know all of that?" Amy said with interest.

"Uh, I took a class in college. I used to really like Halloween when I was a kid." He lied. 

"O really? Me too! It's so much fun." 

.......

As soon as the door closed Sawyer turned to Horace with a clear look of concern. 

"I don't want you to take this the wrong way buddy but... Are you crazy? You really think a party is a good idea right now? With what just happened out there? The body? The missing "detainee"? What if it ain't safe?" Sawyer said in a low questioning tone. 

"Jim... I would never intentionally put anyone here at risk. That's why I need my most reliable security team present and alert. We can't just lock down this compound like a prison. People will get suspicious, frightened. For all we really know Bill may have drowned that night. There's been no sign of him from any of the stations. We can't halt all of our projects, work, events, lives- just for the possibility of one person. He may not even know why he's on this island. Now I know you're concerned about Juliet but Amy said she agreed that the party was a groovy idea- a way to bond people together that normally don't get a chance to socialize." 

Sawyer's face pinched and his lips pursed as Horace used the word "groovy" knowing full well it wasn't something Juliet would say. Clearly there was no way to talk Horace out of this and the more he let Horace talk the more he got the feeling it wasn't Amy's idea at all.

"Well alright- yer the boss. Boss." 

"Wonderful. I think it will be nice to take a night off and not worry about the outside world or the hostile indigenous people for an evening. Don't you?" Horace said as he opened the door- solidifying the end of the conversation.

......

Juliet's hair was pulled back in a french braid and she was sitting in the office with a cup of coffee in one hand. She had just finished up her invoices for the day and tucked a pencil behind her ear when she heard a crash coming from the garage. 

"Jesse?" She called out automatically assuming he was the one causing it.

"No. It was me." Kevin's pained voice responded as he scooted out from a seated position behind a van clutching his arm. Juliet's eyes went wide and she rushed over and bent down beside him with an apologetic look. 

"Let me see it." She said in a motherly yet demanding tone.

"It's nothing. I didn't realize the damn engine was still running so hot. Burned my arm like an idiot- then smacked my head on the hood and fell backwards like an even bigger idiot." He replied as he held tightly to the dirty bandanna haphazardly wrapped around his forearm. 

Juliet reached around the back of Kevin's head tipping it forward. Her hand instantly met a wet spot. She stood back up and headed over to the first aid kit bolted to the far wall. She grabbed some gauze and moved to the sink to wet a clean shop towel then returned to his side and put out her hand - silently asking for the bandanna.

"I'll trade you. You're gunna need to go to medical so you may as well go in with this on instead of that." She held up the clean shop towel as an offering.

"If Betty sees what you have your hand wrapped in she'll probably walk right out with her hands in the air." Juliet said trying to make light on the accident as she prepped a clean gauze and pressed it to the cut at the back of Kevin's head. He started to laugh but winced instead as she put pressure on his head.

"Jesse should be back from lunch soon- Probably should wait." Kevin said- his eyebrows pinched together. Juliet gave him a look not sure what he was implying. He either didn't want the place empty when Jesse got here or didn't want to leave her alone in garage. She wasn't mad- just found it curious that he was thinking of safety scenarios considering he was the injured one.

"I'll call Miles." Juliet said before leaning over him to check the bleeding.

"Can you hold this?" She asked referring to the cloth at the back of Kevin's head. He nodded and let go of his arm. Juliet pretended to half get up but changed targets once Kevin had a hold of his head. She grasped both ends of his burned forearm and her eyes met his with an eyebrow arch that told him not to move. 

"Hey, C'mon. Ow."  
"Oh Stop it I didn't even touch it yet." She said gently letting go on his elbow and slapping his shoulder as she examined the area around the bandanna. 

 _"OooH oOoh_ _Witchy Woman_." Kevin sang out weakly as he relaxed his arm a bit. 

"The Eagles? Nice. You think I'm bad- just wait til that nurse sees what you've done. I'm gunna take a look at it either way so you may as well just let me do it now while it's not infected yet." 

Kevin sighed and nodded for her to go ahead as he purposely looked away. Juliet gently peeled the cloth away, careful that the burn didn't have skin attached. Kevin closed his eyes and leaned back against the tool drawers he was still sitting in front of. 

"Ya ok?" Juliet asked as she noticed Kevin go a bit pale. 

"Uh... Yep... just not good with... Uh...Blood and... open wounds and shit." He said woozily.

Juliet let out a soft laugh as she lightly wound the clean shop towel around his forearm.

"I see. Well- good news, it doesn't look too bad. I mean I can only see a little bone and muscle poking through so..."

  
"What!?" Kevin shot forward in a panic his eyes wide. Juliet quickly put a hand on his chest and shook her head.

"I'm kidding! It's fine!-Honestly- it will probably blister but you'll live. I'd be more concerned with needing stitches in that fat head of yours." Juliet flexed her neck and smiled widely as she jutted her chin out giving her joke away.

"Jeezus H-Juliet- you're bed side manner sucks!"  

"I've been told." She squinted- still smiling.

"You sit here- I'll have someone come get you and bring you over to the infirmary." Juliet stood up and wiped her bloodied hands on her jumpsuit. She took two long strides towards the counter and reached for the walkie just as Jesse walked in from lunch.

"H..holy cow. What h..happened to you! That is a lot of b..blood- You look like that d..dude from Ch..Chainsaw M..massacre. I think I'm gunna p...puke" He said to Kevin who had a decent amount of blood staining his blonde hair and jumpsuit as he sat on the floor dropping his head forward in embarrassment. Juliet turned and tipped her head at Jesse.

"He's fine but will you help me walk him to medical? I'm sure the garage will be survive for a few minutes without us." Juliet said cautiously realizing that Jesse may actually puke before looking at Kevin for approval. Kevin nodded frustratingly.

"Yeah okay. Let's go _mis amigos favoritos._   As long as she don't hit me again." He scowled sarcastically at Juliet.  Juliet let out an amused gasp as she moved back to Kevin and scooped her elbows under his armpits as Jesse moved over to close the big garage door then back to Kevin in with a look of disgust as he leaned his long awkward frame over to assist in bringing Kevin to his feet. Kevin wavered for a second then nodded.

Jesse looked at Juliet questioningly.

"I did _not_ hit him... yet! I didn't need to- he was too busy hitting himself." Juliet's voice pitched defensively then chided back at Kevin playfully. Jesse smiled widely.

"Wait... Someone grab my smokes!" Kevin hollered back over his shoulder to no one as Juliet and Jesse let the side door slam behind them.

.........

Jesse headed back to the garage after helping take Kevin to the infirmary. Juliet was waylaid by a doctor who remembered her from the night she came in from the jungle. The conversation started out casually as she watched them stitch Kevin's head up on the other side of the room it randomly occurred to her that this was the doctor that she _did_ hit and she pursed her lips recalling Kevin just having teased her over the very topic. She was only half listening to him at first and before she knew it he'd asked her a series of questions regarding her sleep, memory and headaches. Once she realized what was happening, she closed her eyes knowing she'd given him terrible answers. Here she thought she'd gotten off the hook and had managed to avoid coming into the building for any type of follow up until now. _Great! An accidental appointment._ She thought. When she wasn't able to come up with satisfactory answers the doctor insisted she have a check up.

Juliet declined as politely as she could and started across the room to leave. The front door opened and a nearly 11 year old Ben nervously entered. He was holding his eyeglasses in one hand. Juliet froze, her blue eyes locked in his direction. Before she realized it the doctor had carefully and effectively led her to an exam table where she obediently sat back down. The doctor sighed thankfully at her seemingly sudden compliance. Juliet blinked hard Her eyes instantly became glassy. _He's just a kid, Juliet._

"This is good Ms. Burke. Thank you. I just want to do some blood work- check your vitals- see if your levels are normal then you can go. The level of concussion you received that night has been known to leave lingering effects for months in some people."

"I feel fine... really. I don't see that this is..." She said then paused again as Nurse Betty left Kevin's side and approached Ben. She lowered herself into his line of sight putting a hand on his arm. She whispered something to him and he nodded, handing over his glasses which by the look of it were broken on one side. 

The two of them disappeared from view and Juliet redirected her attention back to the doctor once again. 

He drew two vials of blood and felt along her neck, checking her lymph nodes, as he tipped her head to check inside her ears his fingers pressed the tender spot on her head that she'd noticed that morning causing her to flinch- her eyebrows furrowed involuntarily. She heard Kevin laugh in her direction and she looked over to shoot him a " _very funny_ " look of annoyance.

The doctor backed away and Juliet arched a brow, looking up at him with a standard " _What?_ " expression. He picked up a tiny flashlight and moved it across her vision. His face went blank as he turned the light off then on again. Juliet squinted inadvertently. 

"Any trouble with blurred vision lately? ringing of the ears? dizziness? floating spots?" He said almost too confidently, as though he already knew the answers. Juliet lowered her gaze and nodded once. She couldn't deny that less than a week ago she'd passed out in front of half of the security team. 

The doctor nodded seemingly grateful for the honesty. He excused himself and came back a few moment later with a second doctor. Juliet eyed him curiously as he preformed the same pupil test with a few added directions. He pushed his glasses up his nose and looked at her in seriousness. 

"Any recent memory loss?" 

Juliet swallowed and raised her eyes to his with stoic response.

"No... not that I can recall" She lied with a snarky comment as she tipped her head at him. There was no way she was going to mention that she didn't even remember going from her bed to the living room last night. 

"I see your sense of humor is intact. That's all from me- I agree with you Bruce and I suggest we monitor things a bit more frequently." The second doctor stated to the first one then backed up and turned to go. Juliet's eyes darted over to Kevin who was now watching with more interest than amusement. She gave him a small shrug and he smiled. 

"We would like to see you again in a week. Just to go over your test results and check your pupils again. If I didn't know any better I'd say you had a newer concussion. _but_ seeing as you don't remember not remembering anything- it may be an error. Shame we don't have one of those fancy new "CT" scanners from the mainland. Takes pictures of the brain in little thin slices that... uh sorry, exciting breakthroughs in medicine..."

Juliet gave a half fake smile and nodded.  

"Thank you... doctor."  Juliet stood up and moved towards Kevin but stopped short aiming her sights on the second doctor who had turned to escort young Benjamin to the door- a temporary repair job clearly marked in white tape on the side of the glasses he was now wearing again. Ben looked over at Juliet then his eyes moved to the floor shyly. Juliet smiled softly this time-but not because of the kid- her mind was building a plan.

....... 

 The phone rang in the security station and Miles picked it up. Jin had gone to lunch and Sawyer was checking a log to make sure each of the pylons had officially been changed to a new access code. The more he thought about it the more he realized that the only things that the fence kept out were non-human. All any hostile or Bill had to do was the same damn thing he and Juliet had done when the power had gone haywire, though he wasn't sure if the voltage of the fence mattered since he had no idea what it was set at when he and Juliet came through it. What he'd determined was that if they were smart enough to open the keypad they could get in. The only thing crossing the lines would do is set off a silent alarm if they didn't have the proper code. 

Miles looked at Sawyer a few times as he made several "uh huh and nuh uh" statements to whoever was on the other end of the line. Sawyer shot him a curious expression. Miles spun around and hung up the phone facing away from Sawyer- as he turned back -his brows rutted together and he stood up.

"That was Kevin. He said Juliet is at the medical center. Figured you would want to know."

"What happened?! What the hell she doin' there? She okay?" Sawyer's voice pitched lower as he slammed the log files closed and shoved himself to his feet. He was already half way up the stairs when Miles called after him.

"Yah Alright LaFleur- I'll keep watch here. Let me know how it goes!" His sarcastic rudeness wasn't overlooked as Sawyer slammed the door closed. Miles smiled widely and dropped back down into his chair with a sigh before turning to watch Sawyer on the black and white monitors as he stormed towards the infirmary. 

......

 

 


	43. Chapter 43

As Sawyer yanked the door open to the infirmary his eyes darted around. He was quickly met by the nurse, whom he recognized immediately as the sassy older woman who'd stitched up his leg when he'd been shot by Bill. 

"Where is she?" He said moving in further. Nurse Betty gestured down a hall, a slight look of amusement on her face. He moved quickly but stuttered to a halt when he heard Juliet let out a soft laugh, as he turned the corner he saw her standing with a doctor near an eye exam chart. Both of them turned when they heard his voice and Juliet gave him a quick smile.

"Hey you." She said as she held her ground. Sawyers eyes grew wide at the sight of blood on her jumpsuit and he stepped in- looking around in confusion.

"What the... You alright!? Who's blood is that?!" Juliet returned his confused look with one of her own then glanced down at where she'd wiped her hands after holding the gauze against Kevin's bloody head. Her normally blue uniform was streaked with dark red hand prints.

"Oh" She breathed then made a partially squinted face and took two long strides towards Sawyer putting her hands up  with a " _You have the wrong idea"_ double wave.

"It's not mine, I'm fine! Kevin... smacked his head at work."

Sawyer was breathing unevenly as she approached him. His jaw locked tightly as his gaze shifted to the doctor standing near a small desk with a calm parental look on his face.

"Sonofabitch, Miles said..." He paused when he realized that Miles hadn't said anything really- except that Juliet was at the medical station. He let out a huge sigh and dropped his head. He'd walked right into this.

Juliet stepped into Sawyer's personal space closing the gap and pressed her palms to his chest calmly. He forced his blue eyes to meet hers. The dent between his eyebrows softened. Juliet suddenly had a guilty feeling for luring him here knowing his mind was still reeling from The Hydra expedition. She stroked his arm gently and he rolled his eyes, clearly feeling a bit foolish for storming in without having any idea why.

"This is Doctor...?" She started looking back over her shoulder at the man in the white coat with the glasses. 

"Alan" The man finished for her. 

"I'm the resident optometrist- well, I will be for another few weeks anyhow- before I head back to Ann Arbor. You must be Mr. LaFleur. Ms. Burke was just explaining that you lost your glasses awhile back but didn't feel comfortable coming in."

Sawyer's brow furrowed in stubborn agreement as he locked his look back on Juliet. 

"What is it with doctors?" He said with a shake of his head.

"It's very common for people to need glasses as they get older Mr. LaFleur, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. Since you're here- would you mind terribly if I examined your eyes? Ms. Burke mentioned you've been having headaches when you read sometimes."

Sawyer gave Juliet a look silently saying _"You told him!?"_ Juliet moved to stand beside Sawyer then retracted her hands and glided towards the doorway.

"I'll get out of your way doctor. Thank you..." She said sweetly as she moved through entry and pulled the door to the small exam room closed.

"Yes. See you next week." Juliet paused. The crease between Sawyer's eyebrows dented deeply in an attempt to read both Juliet and the doctors silent exchange. He let out one last loud audible huff before Juliet nodded awkwardly,tightened her shoulders and smiled  as she stepped back into the main area where nurse Betty and two other medical staffers were loitering along with Kevin who'd emerged from the restroom - his bloodied jumpsuit undone down to his waist, leaving him in a light pink tye dyed T-shirt and an approving grin. 

"That went better than I thought it would... You're good!" Kevin said with a nod.

............

 

Juliet headed back to the garage and and changed into a fresh jumpsuit from her locker. The rest of the afternoon went by quickly. She and Jesse finished up end of month inventory and cleaned up the shop. As Juliet was closing up the office her eye was drawn to the gun cage against the wall.  Jesse called to her from the side door- ready to leave and she felt her face flush a bit. _It's 1974 Juliet. These people are not "Others"._ She flipped off the light, grabbed her things and followed him out with a soft smile. 

There was a brown bag sitting on her front porch- wedged between the front door and the screen door. She eyed it suspiciously and turned to look back at the evening courtyard.  Children were out of school and running about laughing and playing. A few others were making their ways home just as she was. She crouched down and noticed a note attached to the top of the bag. It said quite simply "Superheroes wanted." in a familiarly Amy style of handwriting. Juliet laughed to herself as she picked up the bag and peeked inside. She shook her head with a silly smile and moved inside.

Juliet set the bag down, slipped off her shoes then moved down the hall to her bedroom to grab a load of laundry and change. She bundled her clothes together with the soiled jumpsuit she'd brought home to be washed. When she returned to the living room- she headed to the record player, pulled out an album and flipped the record to side two, dropping the needle into place before moving into the kitchen as James Taylor's _"Fire and Rain"_ began to play.

.......

Sawyer opened the door, happy to find it unblocked. He smiled sweetly as he heard the music filling the air. He leaned on the wall and watched Juliet swaying lightly with her back to him as she chopped vegetables and slid them into a pan on the stove with a sizzle.  She turned casually and paused. He was wearing a pair of wire rimmed glasses which he slid down his nose purposely to drag his eyes up and down her form arching a mischievous eyebrow at her. She let out a soft laugh and tipped her chin at him. 

He slipped his boots off and pushed his glasses up where they belonged then moved to the kitchen, wrapping his hands around her waist with a loving sigh as he pulled her in. Her arms moved automatically around his neck. 

"Very nice." She cooed in approval of his eye wear.

"You like?"

"I like"

"I ain't gotta wear em all the time, just fer readin'..." He said, clearly feeling unsure if she'd find him attractive with them on.

"They're perfect." She blinked soothingly as she tucked his hair back behind his ear.

He dipped his head and kissed her neck. Juliet let out a wanton whimper. Her fingers intertwined further into his hair as she brought his mouth up to hers. She playfully tugged on his bottom lip with her teeth and he let out a soft groan pressing his body to hers.

 "...Guys'll be here... any... minute." Juliet breathed.

"Uh huh" Sawyer replied as his hands slid up under Juliet's shirt and stroked her bare sides heavily.

"Probably... shoul.. uh.." Juliet softly moaned tipping her head back allowing Sawyer's advances. He turned and pressed her backside against the counter.  

Sawyer grinned as she reacted to his touch. Juliet moved to unbutton her own blouse as her swollen lips locked back on his eagerly. Sawyer growled and lifted Juliet to the counter top, stepping into the space between her knees, purposely dragging her to the edge and rubbing himself against her. She closed her eyes and blew a breath out. Juliet's body flushed with pink up through her cheeks. She felt her body instantly cover itself in a thing sheen of sweat. She needed him. _  
_

"Nice to see you missed me." Sawyer said softly tipping his head, blue eyes twinkling as his dimples dented victoriously into his expression. He reached over and moved the pan of vegetables to the back burner, turned the stove off then slid back over to Juliet who was reaching and pulling at the collar of his jumpsuit and trying to move his zipper down. Sawyer assisted her by dragging his arms out of his work uniform, leaving him in a white undershirt. Juliet yanked Sawyer into her with a smirk. Sawyer's hands moved back to her flesh and around into the waistband of Juliet's pants as he let out a ragged breath. He could smell her shampoo and his senses were being sucked in. The drug that was Juliet was overtaking him. He pulled back as her half lidded eyes looked at him.

"I did... Miss you." Juliet confirmed in a tone just above a whisper. A tone that made Sawyer's insides twitch with want.

"Well, I missed you too." He said biting his bottom lip a bit.

There was a knock on the door and Sawyer spun around as it began to open putting his body between Juliet and the door. Juliet instantly slid off the counter to her feet, using Sawyer as a shield as she grasped her blouse to button it hastily.

Miles poked his head in catching sight of Sawyer  in the kitchen before pushing the door open wider and turning back towards Jin.

"God- It smells amazing in here... We brought beer." Miles said before pausing  as Juliet poked out from behind Sawyer with an awkward teenage smile before turning back to the stove.

"Uh... You two need us to disappear?" Miles said arching an eyebrow at Sawyer.

"Wha? No _Copperfield_ we dun need you to disa..., the hell you talkin' about?" Sawyer said coolly as he turned back to look at Juliet, whose shirt was mis-buttoned. Juliet was tucking a stray hair back into her braid as she followed Sawyer's eyes down to her shirt.

Juliet's eyes averted as her cheeks turned a darker shade of pink. She let out an audible  _"Uh.."_ of embarrassment before nodding at the guys and swiftly making her way to the bathroom to adjust her attire. Sawyer waited for her to disappear then his eyebrows angled and he let out an amused laugh at her behavior.

"Serves you all right for what you done to me this afternoon - gettin' me all riled up just so's I'd read some letters on wall." Sawyer said taking his new eyeglasses off as a reference.

Jin snickered as he and Miles made their way in and took seats at the kitchen table. Miles grabbed a beer then passed the container to Sawyer.

"So~ Any idea how long til we expect your punching bag to show back up in town? You tell her about my conversation with the...you know? " Miles said as he cracked his beer and took a swig. Jin moved to the kitchen and began draining the noodles for their dinner listening intently over his shoulder.

"What conversation Miles?" Juliet said emerging from the hallway. Sawyer let out a heavy sigh and Miles's eyes darted between the two. He looked up at Jin then took a long drink averting his gaze.

Juliet moved back to the kitchen casually handing out plates as the guys lined up at the stove and dished themselves pasta and vegetables. The four of them sat down in silence. Juliet arched her brows and was looking at each of their faces, waiting for the first one of them to make eye contact. It was Jin. His eyes met hers straight across the table.

"Jin?"

Jin licked his lips and swallowed the food in his mouth.

"Miles talk to dead guy. He not die in accident."

Juliet's face pinched in confusion as her attention moved to Miles who was staring at Jin with a look of annoyance that this was the best he could do at explaining.

"Okay- so he didn't drown. You think he was killed then tossed in the water? Miles? a little help here?" Juliet said calmly. Sawyer watched the interaction- he really couldn't explain it as well as Miles could which is probably why he hadn't tried to.

"I can't be sure- but I think _he was drowned_ after the boat got to the shore. It was shallow water."  
"You think it was the Dharma Initiative? Someone over at The Arrow?" Juliet pressed.

"According to them, they didn't have any cameras up during the storm and everyone was locked down in the building per Horace's orders." Sawyer said - helping clear up the security question. Juliet looked at him and nodded.

"Well if he didn't leave the Hydra alone...then it had to be either Bill or..."   as her eyes drifted past the guys into the space between. Her fingers floated up and gently back to tuck a hair behind her ear, lingering there in thought.

"Ol' Smokey... or both." Sawyer finished.

"Yeh, I don't know- the vision was dark. Oh, and the guy kept saying the name " _Jacob_ ". Miles continued more confidently.

Juliet's attention was brought back and she swallowed. She shook her head sadly.

"Jacob is... the island's protector- a leader, they have great respect for him...he's like, a God here."

"Yeh, I got the impression the guy was like... apologizing or calling to him - not really accusing him. That makes more sense when you put it that way." Miles said nodding as he recollected the encounter.

"So, If Jacob's the "protector" why didn't he save his buddy from the _Plume of Doom?"_ Sawyer asked.

"Maybe there's a limit as to who he can protect them from?" Juliet said matter of factually.

"True-That mean Bill kill him." Jin interjected.

"Yeh- S'what I'm thinkin' too Jinbo. Don't think the Initiative is gunna be sendin' out Christmas cards to the hostiles anytime soon. Best we can do right now is hope they believe the story we laid out n don't come back demandin' we hand over the Cowboy. Since we ain't got him yet n all."

"Do you even think he remembers what happened before they put him there?" Miles questioned skeptically.

"I mean brainwashing? Mind control? Amnesia? Really? Is anyone else having a hard time buying all this? Are these people really that advanced out here on a deserted island in the 1970's?"  
Juliet looked up solemnly.

"It's something that scientists have been working on since the 50's. Even back in World War 2. I wouldn't think it's possible to reeducate someone in just a few days but I honestly don't know Miles. If Stuart said it's worked before..."

"Alright, so the plan is. We go to the Halloween thing- keep our heads together and watch eachother's backs. Then... we get back to searchin' the grid for Locke and the others at work. Horace is right. We gotta keep movin' forward. If Billy boy is smart he'll stay lost in the jungle. If he ain't- we'll find him.

The three of them nodded at Sawyer in unison and moved on to the lighter topic of who was going to be what for Halloween and the time and rumors about the party event. Sawyer's glance kept shifting to Juliet- for one he couldn't help but stare at her, she was beautiful. Secondly, every time his eyes met hers she smiled sweetly but her mind was somewhere else. Something wasn't right.

After Jin and Miles headed home Sawyer joined Juliet on the couch.

"Wanna tell me what's on yer mind Princess?" He asked as he dropped down beside her.

"He should've found his way back by now." Juliet replied.

"Yeh. I know. Listen, I was thinkin' maybe it ain't a bad idea to borrow a gun from the Motor Pool again. Just til we find him." Sawyer said as he leaned back- resting his head against the back of the couch.

Juliet smiled at him and tipped her head. Funny how sometimes they thought so similarly. She instantly flashed to earlier in the afternoon when she was having a silent debate with herself while staring the gun cage.

"Wha? Just sayin' I got a rifle at work- but we ain't got nothin' here- cept a kitchen chair." He squinted back sarcastically.

Her expression flat lined and she nodded.

"It's a good idea. I'll "borrow" something tomorrow." Juliet said as she slid closer to Sawyer and rested her semi curled form against him. Sawyer groaned in approval and reached up to turn off the lamp before redirecting his attention back to where they left off before dinner.

 

 


	44. Chapter 44

Juliet opened her eyes and started to stretch as the morning light shone on the wall, she paused as she realized she was on the couch for the second morning in a row but this time a familiar heat was radiating against her back.  She rolled her head up slowly and watched James's peacefully sleeping face for a few moments as he lay behind her. Her head had been resting on one of his arms and she was wearing his T-shirt. There was a blanket lazily lying across the both of them. His other arm was draped across her comfortably.

She was reminded of the first time she woke up this way at the guys house after her drinking bender down on the beach and she smiled. How drastically everything had changed since then. As much as she had wanted to remove herself from the awkward situation back then. Juliet wanted nothing more than to stay tucked in next to James now. Unfortunately, her bladder wouldn't allow it. She breathed deeply and gently lifted his arm to slide herself upright.

James began to stir and Juliet shifted a bit. He groaned and reached out to try to hold on to her.  She leaned back in, pressing against his chest to snuggle into his neck as he rolled to his back. 

"Hey ya alright?. No bad dreams?" He mumbled questioningly.

Juliet shook her head with a soft smile.

"No, no bad dreams."

....... 

Sawyer scrambled eggs and Juliet made the coffee. Things seemed almost normal but there was something brewing just beneath the surface. Both of them could feel it.

"Maybe I'll swing by fer lunch."

"Okay, I need to stop at the pantry after work and pick up something to give the kids. Amy says they come around in a group before the party."

Sawyer groaned.

"I ain't lookin' forward to dressin' up. Maybe I'll go as a Dharma security worker~this damn jumpsuit _is_ a costume."

"I know, we just have to make an appearance. We won't stay long. It means a lot to Amy."

"Too bad they ain't heard of Ghostbusters yet. I could make me a proton pack." he said in a snarky manner. His palms smacked against his beige jumpsuit and he held up an invisible weapon. Juliet smiled and let out a light laugh. She moved in and kissed him before she headed off to work.

..........

Sawyer walked into the security building. Jerry was still in-his head resting on his hands. He stood quickly when he saw Sawyer come down the stairs. Sawyer tilted his head questioningly as his eye shifted to Miles who was going over some of the previous nights footage.

"S'up _Porn 'Stache_? You leave the stove on?" Sawyer said as he moved in closer to see what Miles was reviewing. Jerry's fingers moved up awkwardly to flatten his mustache as he rocked back on his heels- watching Sawyer out of the corner or his eye.

"He was asleep at the wheel when I got here." Miles said dryly as Jin appeared from the holding cell room with a nod of greeting.

"Where the hells Phil? ain't he suppose to be here? " Sawyer said as his eyebrows narrowed.

"Phil... was helping set up for the party at the rec center all night. He came back after I got in and... he already went home. Said he's not taking responsibility. " Miles huffed sarcastically.

"Well it's nice to see our team priorities are in order"

"I'm sorry man, I just...dozed off. I figured Phil would wake me when he came back but... he didn't come back." Jerry said guiltily.

"That's just great - Guess you can sit in the corner and go over every tape you slept through 'cus I sure as hell ain't doin' yer job an' mine today."

"C'mon LaFleur, don't tell me you never nodded off when you were sitting there, there's nothing to watch in the middle of the night, ever!" Jerry sighed.

"Look, guys... Friends.... I'll go through em tonight. I promise. Please don't say nothin' to Stuart. The guy already thinks I'm an idiot. He's pressing to get the island Head of Security position and just lookin' for a reason to make himself look better than everyone else."

"Ain't he already a supervisor?" Sawyer said with a confused squint as he poured his second coffee of the morning.

"Naw~He's a team lead. That's why Horace sends him all over the island n stuff. He just likes to act like he's more. If Horace moves back over to the Mathematics Department full time after the new year. Stuart would _be_ the new Horace man. Horace wasn't ever suppose to be doin' security but before you guys got here- we had sort of a "falling out" with the hostiles, and the guy that used to be be Head of Security - well, he... died. Horace just stepped in to help out until they found a replacement.."

"Why he still do it? Horace." Jin asked.

"Cus' he didn't tell Ann Arbor that he didn't want to keep doing it, I guess. Dunno. Unless there's a sub comin' in or research going out- Ann Arbor just sorta leaves us alone, ya know?" Jerry said flatly.

Miles let out an audible groan at the idea of Stuart being in charge and having no one to reign in his annoying tendencies.  
Sawyer shook his head knowing he didn't have any authority to do anything except crush poor Jerry's chance at a raise this year. He had fallen asleep at the monitors before, only once but he'd been lucky enough to not have been caught. He rolled his eyes at his pleading comrade.

"Yeh yeh, alright stop with all the beggin'. Go on- get outta here. Oh and do us a favor, don't go through the tapes tonight- Fonzie, you ain't gunna have time  Gunna need yer eyes on the party goers." Sawyer said

  
"Of course. Wait, why? You expecting trouble? Oooh Man... Last year _was_ pretty wild. You guys are lucky you get to go." Jerry said with a hint of envy in his voice.

"Yeh- we know." Miles stated without expression. 

"So- now that all that's clear... Are you staying Jerry? because I'll go if you feel guilty and want to take my shift to make up for it." Miles continued. Sawyer moved to have a seat and Jin took out a stack of reports to file.

"I'm gone. thanks again. - I owe ya one." Jerry said with a sour face as he sulked up the stairs.

Sawyer shook his head and waited for the door to slam.

"We live on an island with a group of hostile indigenous people. How's it everyone in Dharmaville always seems to forget this fact?" He said grumpily

"If you ask me - _he_ should be thanking Juliet that you're in such an agreeable mood." Miles said with an arch of his eyebrow.

"Shuttit Enos. We got other stuff to focus on right now." Sawyer said as he focused his attention on the monitor logs, unwilling to kiss and tell.

"Pfft. Yeh Whatever LaFleur." Miles said sarcastically with just a hint of a grin as he exchanged glances with Jin, who was smiling fully.

.....

The day passed quickly. Sawyer stopped by the Motor Pool and let Juliet know he'd grab _the goodies_ for the kids on his way home.  Juliet casually invited him into the office. Sawyer raised a brow, and looked back into the garage. Kevin was off and conveniently, Jesse was sitting on the concrete floor using a hammer to try and repair a dented bumper on the far side of a van-  loudly banging away at it. Sawyer nodded knowingly and followed Juliet .

As soon as Sawyer closed the door Juliet moved to gun cage, unlocked it and selected a pistol and ammo. Sawyer took the ammo, stuffing it into his pocket,  unzipped his jumpsuit and tucked the gun in awkwardly to the inside of his jeans underneath, then zipped back up. He'd load it later.

Juliet closed the cage and turned back to him. Her eyes darted past Sawyer, over his shoulder, through the office door blinds. She quickly made eye contact with Sawyer, swallowed then blinked with a tiny grin. She stepped in swiftly- invading his personal space and kissed him hard and passionately. Her hands wound around his neck and into his hair then down again. Sawyer gasped is surprise then moved his hands around her-his temperature instantly spiked. He turned them towards the desk, leaning Juliet to rest on the top of it as he hovered over her holding on to the collar of her jumpsuit as his lips returned her attack. She let out a sweet sound. Her breath quickened, her lips swelled, her eyes watched his lips as he pulled away ever so slightly.  Sawyer squinted at her then made a side glance out the door through the hair that was hanging half in his face. Sure enough, he saw Jesse through the open slats in the blinds. Jesse had stood up and moved closer. He was watching them frozen like a kid that had just accidentally opened his parent's bedroom door. Stunned yet unwavering. Jesse swallowed and his face flushed red as Juliet turned more obviously to look at him before ducking her head shyly. Jesse instantly spun around in embarrassment, knocking a few tools off the work bench behind himself. Juliet let out a short huff of amusement as her fingers moved to her lips. Sawyers dimples dented charmingly into his cheeks.

"Nice cover Blondie" He breathed as his eyes moved over her lovingly.

Juliet looked up at Sawyer then out the door window again, her face contorted into a sympathetic expression towards Jesse. _"Poor kid"_

Sawyer pulled Juliet back to her feet and left a soft kiss on her lips before opening the door and heading out. Juliet placed a hand on his forearm and stopped him before handing him a small brown bag.

"Lunch." She said with an arched brow as he looked at it questioningly. He let out a sigh and tipped his head gratefully as he accepted it.

Sawyer looked right at Jesse as he walked out.

"Welp, See ya at the party Shaggy." He said beaming a huge smile

"R-right, uh, yeh. I mean, Yes M.m..m.m..Mister LaFleur." He stuttered back in one horribly long ragged breath.

Juliet tipped her head and smiled sweetly as she crossed her arms in front of herself and toyed with her earlobe. After Sawyer was out of sight Juliet casually moved to grab a damp towel and wipe the back of her neck- she knew Jesse wasn't the only one who was blushing but it was all she could think of as a distraction at that moment.

.........

The whole idea of throwing a party right now was still surreal to Sawyer but he guessed if he hadn't known what had happened a few days ago. He would've thought everything was completely "hippieville dandy" and a get together would've sounded perfectly fine. He figured that Horace knew people might get suspicious if the island _didn't_ celebrate. He stopped at the pantry and picked up a bag of lollipops then headed back across the courtyard. He was intercepted by Horace on his way back to the station. Horace gave him a list of bunkhouses that were currently unoccupied that needed a "once over" before the subs new arrivals came in and they could be used as housing. They just needed to change the locks, check the windows and mark any houses still in need of the maintenance crew for cleaning. Sawyer wanted to ask him about what Jerry said but figured it may be easier to bring up tonight. _Was Horace really leaving security?_ Sawyer took the list and headed into the station. He set down his lunch and candy bag on the coffee counter then walked in more dramatically dropping the papers Horace gave him on the main table. As he glanced at the list one house number jumped out at him. Bill's. Sawyer's eyebrows narrowed. 

"What's that?" Miles piped in as he took a bite of a hoagie sandwich from the cafeteria.

"Nuthin' Horace wants us to do a sweep of the vacant houses sometime before the new recruits get here.

"Oooh. Really? Maybe I can get my own place."

 "What? Kickin me outta my room wasn't good enough for ya? Now you want yer own damn house?"

"HA-touchy! And~ You're welcome...  You'd still be stalking around and sleeping on the couch if it weren't for me! BUT, you're right. Jin's pretty much the perfect roommate and I should probably start saving money, ya know- just in case Locke is dead and we're screwed."

Sawyer glared sarcastically at Miles partly because he _had_ spent the night on the couch last night...with Juliet-  but he followed it with a sigh of frustration and agreement. It wasn't an easy topic to contemplate but Locke not coming back was something that was always a possibility in the back of all of their minds.

Miles and Jin did the end of day perimeter checks while Sawyer went over a new map that Miles had made, re-gridding the area so they could get back to systematically looking for signs of survivors. This time though, he made a point not to mark it with stations that didn't exist yet.

Phil arrived on time. He was grumpy and didn't say much beyond a quick. "Have a good night". The guys reluctantly divided up their costumes and headed out. They would forgo any dinner plans knowing that the party would have plenty to eat.

.........

Sawyer opened the door to his house- kicked his boots off and dumped his costume on the floor. He moved to the kitchen- emptying the candy he'd picked up from the pantry into a mixing bowl. He unwrapped a cherry lollipop and popped it into his mouth. The sweet taste took him back to his childhood. His mother would always insist he eat extra helpings of dinner on Halloween so he wouldn't be tempted to binge on candy when he came home with this haul from the neighborhood. After she died. He never did like holidays quite as much. He pulled out a beer from the fridge and set it on the counter then headed to the bedroom tossing the small box of ammo from his pocket into the drawer of the bedside table before pulling out the pistol and checking it over. Sawyer held the gun and looked around the room with a sigh. The cool metal felt good in his hand and he wondered why he hadn't thought of this sooner. 

Sawyer changed out of his jumpsuit and headed back to his unopened beer - snatching it off the counter. He moved to the living room and dropped into his armchair. He thought back to the night before when he and Juliet had made very good use of the couch beside him. He smiled to himself as the memories moved through him and he found his gaze shifting to the open curtains. _Huh_ \- He hadn't even noticed the curtains had been open last night. He imagined what it would've been like to be outside looking in- the way poor Jesse was today at the Motor Pool.  Sawyer grunted and adjusted himself. He was getting turned on by just the thought of it. of Juliet. He felt like he almost could smell her shampoo, feel her soft warmth.  Sawyer closed his eyes and let his head drop back in the chair.

......

_Juliet slid closer to him and rested her semi curled form against him. He groaned in approval and reached up to turn off the lamp before redirecting his attention back to where they left off before dinner._

_"Juliet?"_

_"Mmmhmm?"_

_"I love you" He'd whispered, watching her expression. Her nose crinkled lightly with a gentle smile. He knew she loved it when he said her name.  
_

_"I love you too"_

_Her form silhouetted perfectly in the light from the window as she moved over to him, dragging her shirt off in the process. He half expected her to get up- to lead them to the privacy of their bedroom, like she usually did- so innocently. She stopped as he looked  her over, questioningly. She pushed her chin forward and arched an eyebrow mischievously then moved to straddle his thighs. He didn't hesitate again. She was still surprising him and he liked it. He loved it. The blue of her eyes twinkled in the moonlight.  The curve of her neck, her bra hugging her breasts. He wasn't sure why but he was glad her hair was pulled back so he could see her face.  Juliet's hands stroked his chest and back gently before moving down to his belt. The corner of her mouth twitched ever to slightly. Her eyes locked on his. He paused his advances to help, shifting himself up but not wanting her to get off of him.  He managed to push his clothes out from under himself before sinking back down into the couch.  
_

_Juliet angled sideways to remove her pants as well and Sawyer let his fingers slide up and down her sides- pausing at the feel of her raised scar on her lower back. His body language shifted, momentarily stiffening._

 

_"What do you want to know LaFleur? That I know about her "scar" cus- she showed it to me? " Bill's words echoed back again.  
_

_"...Or maybe you want to hear how she showed it to me..." Sawyer closed his eyes and furrowed his brow- God, how he hated not being able to let things go. "It shouldn't matter anymore." he thought to himself angrily.  
_

 

_She ducked into his line of sight, her eyes searching his briefly when she noticed his hand linger a bit too long-and it was as though she'd heard his thoughts- the sound of his breath slowing. He looked at her with a sad expression. Juliet blinked slowly in understanding._

_"Bill?" She whispered questioningly as her arms draped lightly over his shoulders. He let out a sigh as the corner of his mouth tightened giving him away. He dropped his head guiltily. She nodded once then pulled back a bit more to tip his head back up and look him in the eye._

_"He saw it by accident. Nothing more." She said slowly, softly, honestly and non apologetically._

_He closed his eyes in silent thanks as she'd told him the simple truth. He moved his hands down to her outer thighs in acceptance He didn't know why he felt better, but he did. He squeezed her gently as she moved back to her original position. He wouldn't require any more details tonight. He'd think about it later. Right now, he just wanted her. Needed her._

_He closed his eyes and involuntarily let out a moan as he felt his body being surrounded by her. They moved in unison slow and steady. Sawyer felt his body begin to tingle. It felt like he was shifting through time and space. The temperature changed, it was suddenly cooler and he seemed lighter. The rhythm faded. He opened his eyes to find the air around him empty-Juliet was gone, and with it- her warmth. His hands moved in the darkness feeling for her until a soft light caught his attention beneath the bedroom door.  
_

_"Juliet?" Sawyer called as he stood up. He could see his breath in the chill of the room as he whispered. The mist grew larger and swirled towards the door. Looking down he found that he was fully clothed again as his palms felt his own chest in confusion. He pushed his hair back and moved to follow the smoke towards the dim light that seeped into the darkness of the hallway. He swallowed then turned the knob and opened the door._

_The room was not his bedroom. was on the Black Rock. There was a mast posted in the center of the room and an all too familiar man chained to it._

........

 

Juliet came home to find James nodded off in his favorite armchair. She showered and grabbed her costume. She had agreed to head to Amy's to help her with her costume. When she came back out to the living room she moved around to watch James sleep and laughed to herself that he had a thin white sucker stick hanging from his mouth.

"With candy in your mouth? real safe James" She said shaking her head quietly as she gently dislodged the sucker from his lips and set it on the table. She paused at the look on his face. He looked worried. The dent between his eyebrows that showed when he was frustrated was making it's presence known. Juliet's expression changed as she looked him over more carefully. She noticed his left hand was gripping the arm of the chair and his right fist was tightened in a ball. He suddenly reminded her of someone about to be electrocuted. Like he was bound to his position. She swallowed nervously then moved around behind him. Juliet knew better than to try to wake him from the front again. She touched his shoulder and lowered her lips to his ear. 

"James?" She said delicately.

"James, wake up."

"Mary. Her name..." Sawyer snarled angrily then mumbled something Juliet couldn't understand. She froze at his words a look of anxiety painted on her face.

His breathing intensified and Juliet tried again. She set down her things and moved along to the side of him with her hands hovering cautiously over his left forearm.

"James. Wake up!"  She said in a deeper, louder and more demanding tone as her eyebrows furrowed with a hint of nervousness just below the surface.

His nostrils flared and sweat beaded on his upper lip. His head snapped in her direction, eyes clenched closed and she preemptively took hold of his arm.

Sawyer flew forward spinning the rest of himself towards her, as he let out a dangerous growl. He grasped her arm with his free hand. Juliet sucked in a surprised breath and let go of him like she'd been burned but he held on. There was a tear of frustration rolling down his sweat stained face. His expression melted as Juliet's eyes glassed over. She hovered over the side of the chair-in perfect stillness. His grip loosened as he recognized her, the space. Her head tipped sadly at him as she slowly moved around to the front of him, his hand still holding her arm- but softly now, submissively. Juliet stepped into the space between his knees and he leaned forward letting go of her as she wrapped her arms around his head like he was a little boy. His face buried in her abdomen and his shoulders tucked in. Juliet stroked his hair and held him close as his breathing deepened into a more relaxed state.

"You're okay. It's okay... I'm here" Juliet whispered sweetly. Her heart ached as she felt his sadness. She let out a long breath and Sawyer's hand moved up between them to wipe his nose with the back of his hand before pulling away.

He was staring at the floor now and Juliet knew he was upset that he'd let his emotions get the best of him in front of her.  Juliet dropped to her knees.

"You wanna tell me about it?... James?" She asked softly.

"Sawyer." He let out a heavy sigh.

Juliet looked at him in confusion. He'd never asked her to call him that before. She'd really only used "Sawyer" on a few occasions back with the survivors of the plane crash.

He looked up at her and shook his head like she was misunderstanding him. He paused as though he wanted to tell her something but she saw him reel it in and change his mind. He wasn't ready.

"Dreamin' bout my momma." He said quietly.

 ......

Sawyer wanted to tell her everything. That he'd met the real Sawyer- that Locke had given him Sawyer as a gift because Locke knew he would kill him. He couldn't tell her. Not now- not today. It was one of the few things Juliet didn't know about him because it had happened on the island. It wasn't in any file.

Juliet gave a small smile and rubbed her palms over the tops of his thighs.

"You gunna be alright if I head to Amy's to get ready? I can stay~."

"Naw- I'm good. You go- I'll meetcha later."

Juliet nodded and picked up her things then headed to Amy's to "get ready without masculine interference", leaving Sawyer alone. He needed to think. He needed to get ready. Hell, he needed a lot of things. He needed to get everyone back on track and try and figure out a secondary plan of action in case the hostiles showed up searching for answers again BUT the last thing they _needed_ was another all out war with the natives. Sawyer groaned and rolled his eyes. He stood up and grabbed the costume that lay in a crumbled ball on the floor, scooped up his keys and candy and headed out the door to the guys house. He was not about to hand out candy to kids all by himself.

 


	45. Chapter 45

Sawyer showed up unannounced at the guys house. He let himself in and grabbed a beer. As he dropped onto the couch Miles stepped out of his room wearing a blue and black "Star Trek" uniform proudly displaying the fake _Starfleet insignia_ on his left peck.

"Hey~ LaFleur. Guess who I am?!" Miles moved half in the bathroom to wet a comb and began to brush his hair forward creating a straight bang.

"That wasn't in the bag Sulu. Tha hell you get that?"  Sawyer said finding it hard not to laugh at Miles's sudden enthusiasm. Miles in turn sighed and shook his head.

"Sulu... wore the yellow, man. You're an ass."

"Easy there, no need to be all snappy- I ain't a closet Trekkie like you, Sor-ry, Capt. Kirk." Sawyer replied defensively. Miles rolled his eyes then moved on.

"I still have to add the ears" He said holding up two plastic pointed ears with rubber bands attached.

"I....stopped by the rec center on the way home and there it was. I traded for it. Turns out - no one wanted this cus the "Original Series" has been playing reruns for years. It's _"the show that won't die"_ Ha! Little do they know! Right?"

"Uh Yeh...That's... great.. Where's Mr. Miyagi?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, I dunno... out. Yes! You brought candy. I was just gunna turn off the lights and hide in my room if kids came by. Hey aren't you gunna dress up?" Miles said looking at him as though _he_ were the odd one.

"Yeh, yeh. I got this stuff." Sawyer sighed and held up the crumpled pile.

He stood up and shuffled to the bathroom to change into his "pirate" costume. He had a white puffy shirt with a shoelace collar and black pants with boot covers. He decided against the hat almost instantly and instead tied his hair back into a low ponytail then draped a black bandanna tightly on top of that. Luckily he hadn't shaved in days so his beard was perfectly scruffy. As he stared at himself in the mirror he couldn't help but admire his authentic-ness. The kid he used to be would've been awestruck. Last but not least he put on the "Zorro" style black eye mask and tucked a flimsy plastic scimitar into his blue colored sash belt. As he exited the bathroom he put his arms out in his standard "tah dah" pose.

Miles nodded in approval before grabbing himself a beer and a candy.

"You're a frightening and handsome bastard LaFleur."

The sound of children approaching was undeniable and Miles's eyes went wide. Sawyer took the bowl off the table and moved to greet the kids at the screen door.

The older ones were in the front, all business as Sawyer tossed handfuls of lollipops into their sacks. After the first dozen went by, things slowed and the smaller children came up with their parents in tow. One particularly unforgettable redheaded girl dressed as a Raggedy Ann doll. A tiny red painted triangle nose, a blue flowery dress with a white apron. Sawyer took an extra second to kneel down in front of her and compliment her dress. Her pale blue eyes looked up widely at him but she didn't say a word. She was clearly put off by his mask. He quickly removed it from his twinkling blue eyes and then she smiled. The sound of an older boy behind them caught Sawyer's attention. The brother. He was starting to whine that his little sister was too slow and they were taking to long- his voice tinged with a slight British accent. Their mother thanked Sawyer and they left.  Miles peered out the front window and stared at the little girl as she moved to the next house. It was hard to not feel sad. Their fate was very nearly almost the same as hers.  They were the lucky ones. Sawyer grabbed another beer and the guys sat down in silence for a few minutes.

"Think they forgot about us?" Miles asked finally, breaking the silence.

"I dunno." Sawyer sighed honestly, knowing that he was referring to everyone who had gotten off the island. He tied his eye mask back on as his mind flashed through the faces of his friends from the helicopter. Hurley, Jack, Sun, Sayid, baby Aaron... Kate.

"I dunno." He repeated for himself.

There was a light knock on the door and Sawyer stood up grabbing the bowl of candy, glad for the distraction. He froze as he opened the screen at the sight of one lonely 10 year old with taped glasses and a black eye. He was wearing an oversized black suit jacket with a crooked red bow tie. He had an old black top hat under his arm. In it- a familiar pink-eyed white bunny sniffed the cool night air.

"Trick or Treat?" The boy said calmly as if he meant it as an actual question. Sawyer tipped his head curiously. It was the first time in his life he had ever considered the words as they came out of Benjamin Linus's prepubescent mouth.

They stood and stared at one another awkwardly for a moment. Long enough for Miles to join them at the front door and take over.

"Hey... Whatcha got there? Nice props. Yer a magician right? Very _groovy_ man."  Miles nodded.

Sawyer watched the rabbit and felt the corner of his mouth twitch. He distinctly remembered the number 8 rabbit that Ben used to _trick_ him when he was prisoner on the Hydra island. Miles shot him a look then grabbed a handful of candy and dumped it in Ben's bag. Ben thanked him and backed away- still watching Sawyer watching him.

"Happy Halloween kid." Miles said as he elbowed Sawyer and closed the front door.

"Jeez dude. You tryin to be obvious?" Miles said, his expression one of irritation.

"Wha?  Right. Yeh. Still surprises me sometimes... that he's like... a normal kid, I guess."

"Ooookay, Good news then because I think he's the last of em. The kids. Let's go find Jin and get some food. I'm starving!"

........

They guys turned off the lights, grabbed their beers and headed across the courtyard. Miles stopped Sawyer half way and turned towards the docks. There was Jin - coming up from the beach embankment with a fishing pole and 2 fish dangling on a line. He nodded solemnly as he approached them.

"Ya okay there Jin-bo?" Sawyer said questioningly.

Jin nodded and gave a polite smile.

"Yes, I am... okay... I will... meet you at party. I go change now." He replied stoically before he turned and headed for the house. Miles and Sawyer exchanged a look as Jin moved out of earshot..

"Guess he felt like clearin' his head." Sawyer stated in an attempt to play it off and let Jin have his bad day.

  
"Yeh, maybe he didn't feel like being around kids- Sun should have had her baby by now, he mentioned it briefly a few weeks ago. " Miles continued.

They both watched as  Jin disappeared into the house then they turned towards the rec center.

.........

The party was just getting started inside and outside of the rec center when they arrived. The music was cranked probably a bit louder than necessary. There were about a dozen strangers mingling around outside already. Costumes abounded. From scary _Werewolves_ to slutty _Little Red Riding Hoods_ , everyone seemed very into the whole Halloween thing. Sawyer's eye was drawn to Kevin at the turn tables with one other guy in a hat that Sawyer had probably seen around a dozen times but didn't remember. They were flipping through albums and creating a play stack. Kevin wore a torn up white t-shirt with fake blood on it. His head had a bandage strip tied around it with more fake blood on it, his arm was also bandaged and in a sling but he was still fully using it. He had a steering wheel sitting next to him as well as a crutch and... he was still wearing his sunglasses, even though it was dark. Sawyer shook his head knowing Kevin's costume was an attempt to hide his injury from the Motor Pool the day before.

The guys picked a bench outside the building and Sawyer took a seat with a groan to "people watch", After a minute - Miles passed his beer over and headed for the food table inside. Sawyer kept his eyes open for anything suspicious but it was really hard to tell who anyone was. It reminded him of a creepy horror flick when the murderer is walking amongst everyone and no one knows until it's too late.

Sawyer finished his beer can then placed it under his boot to crush it. He bent down to pick the twisted aluminum back up when his eyes caught the glimpse of a pair of sexy red boot covers that had just entered his peripheral vision and were now standing directly in front of him. His eyes followed the shiny boots up to a pair of beautifully long legs and a short glossy red flared skirt. He licked his lips as his eyes traveled further up the feminine curves he knew well. A gold belt and blue, tight, long-sleeve, low cut leotard greeted him with a large red "S" logo across it's perfectly proportioned chest. Sawyer swallowed.

"Hey." Juliet said placing her hands on her hips in true superhero form. Sawyers eyes quickly redirected up to hers and he wiped the fake drool from his mouth and stood up, smiling widely. He couldn't deny he was the luckiest guy here tonight. Juliet flushed pink trying to hold in her amusement at his initial reaction. Her blonde hair was loosely curled and gorgeously framing her face.

"You look good. Nice mask. I almost didn't recognize you." She complimented him, as her eyes moved up his costume. She tipped her head and reached out to touch his eye mask, letting her hand drift down over his collarbone to his bicep as she stepped closer...

"Very... Dread Pirate Roberts of you and much- much better than a Ghostbuster." Juliet whispered referring to a hero from her favorite childhood movie "Princess Bride".

"Is that so" He replied in a husky voice as his dimples danced, still catching his breath at the sight of her.

"It's too much isn't it?" Juliet said taking a small step backwards and giving a slow half turn to reveal the red flowing cape that hung half way down the back of her thighs. Her hands moved to smooth the fabric down her sides as his eyes watched with envy.

"Noo. no. no... nope.. not... no." Sawyer stuttered stupidly- Juliet clenched her eyes closed in embarrassment.

Sawyer reached out to feel the shiny fabric of her cape at her shoulder.

"Supergirl huh? Seems perfect for ya"

Juliet let out a light laugh.

"Funny. I always wanted to be her for Halloween but  I never did it. It was Amy's idea."

"Check one of the bucket list for both of us then Blondie cus I always wanted to date Supergirl but never had the chance."

He tugged lightly on Juliet's cape and  pulled her in close to kiss her when Miles came back out nearly hitting them with the door.  A hotdog half in his mouth. He stopped in his tracks as his Vulcan drawn eyebrows moved up into combed forward bangs.

"Hey! People are trying to eat here. You're like a horny teenager LaFleur, it's disgusting."

"Shuttit Enos." Sawyer spat jokingly but Miles was already arching a brow and gaping at Juliet, mimicking what Sawyer had done only moments ago.

"Juliet~ niiiiiiiice. Very. Nice." Miles said in between bites looking at Sawyer with a nod.

"Thank you Mile... Mr. Spock." Juliet corrected herself with a playful eye roll at his sexually infused tone. Sawyer sighed and sloppily handed Miles his beer back. 

"See! She knows." Miles said delighted that Juliet recognized his costume. He lifted his hand- giving her the "Vulcan salute" and Juliet's eyes fluttered with a grin.

"Hey Miles, ain't that yer mom over there? Is she... dressed as a French maid??" Sawyer said in an attempt to get Miles to go away.

"What!? Where? Crap. I'm gunna go back inside and uh keep and eye on things, and... wait for Jin." he said with a hint of panic in his voice.

Juliet flexed her neck and smiled knowing James was just trying to get Miles' riled up. They all found it a bit humorous that he tended to hide whenever one of his parents was near.

.......

Miles disappeared instantly as Sawyer and Juliet casually walked towards the drinks. Juliet slipped her arm through and locked elbows with Sawyer as they moved past the bonfire.

"It's weird isn't it? This party. Maybe it's just because it's Halloween but I feel like someone is watching us." Juliet said under her breath, a hint of paranoia.

"Well, Darlin' I hate ta tell ya but everyone is watching us... you, I should say, just like always. On tha bright side- this is the safest place we could probably be 'cause of it." Sawyer replied handing Juliet a beer once they reached the "bar area" which consisted once again of a few coolers and a sign that said "help yourself".

 Juliet was quiet as she watched the party-goers. Sawyer could tell Juliet was over the flattery and ready to move on to more important topics though he knew he was right. People were watchin'.

"Where's Strawberry Shortcake?" He said, successfully changing the topic.

Juliet turned and pointed to a woman in high heels and a white halter dress with short blonde curled wig who was facing the dance floor.

"Marilyn? Really?!" He said surprised -with a tip of his head.

"Yeh, really. Sherlock Holmes over there is Horace." Juliet beamed.

The two of them sat down with their backs against a picnic table in comfortable silence to watch the happenings. Juliet crossed her legs and swooped her cape around into her lap using it to cover the tops of her thighs just a bit. She was clearly not a cheerleader type in high school and the short skirt made her self-conscious. She knew James had noticed but she didn't care. He leaned in and slid her close to put an arm around her. She wasn't cold but she still enjoyed the closeness. Her eyes moved around the crowd carefully, a soft smile loitering on her lips.

Bobby Pickett's _"Monster Mash"_ was playing from the dance floor and Kevin looked over the crowd giving Juliet the thumbs up as his head bobbed along. She put a hand up and smiled. As they sat nursing their drinks-Sawyer and Juliet were approached by a few random people they'd seen around the barracks. Heather, from record's who was acting drunker than she was making a point of brushing up along side James so she could feel his biceps. Juliet just smiled politely and arched an entertained brow at James as he not so casually tried to shift the woman back to her feet and pull away. Amy came by and left a bowl of pretzels on their table, she thanked them for coming and fawned over how perfect Juliet looked as Super girl, not forgetting to mention that she'd picked it out. Jin finally showed up, he was dressed as a cowboy with an oversized belt buckle and a giant hat with a leather vest over his shirt with a red bandanna tied around his neck. He stopped by for a few minutes attempting to use a heavy southern accent in jest. It didn't take him long to move inside to meet up with Miles. Sawyer was glad Jin's mood seemed improved. Jesse also came over- his head poking through a hole in a navy blue bed sheet with planets and stars on it. He wore a pointed hat and held a tall hand carved stick that he had made into a staff. Juliet couldn't help but laugh at his youthful creativeness. She stood up and gave him a small hug in greeting as he backed up in excitement to explain.

"I'm a w...wizard- you know?" He said proudly spreading his arms wide so the sheet gave its full winged wizard effect of grandeur.

"There's this new d..dice g...ame out- called _D..dungeons and Dragons_ , it's gunna be far out~! ..M..y brother is sending it to ..me on the next sub."

Juliet caught James's look of amusement as Jesse turned red after looking at him. James could see he was still embarrassed about spying on them in the office and was eating it up. Juliet purposely stepped between their line of sight. James had clearly never been a shy kid. Juliet knew how hard it probably had been for Jesse to come say hello at all. James took the hint and took a minute to grab himself another beer as Juliet and Jesse chatted briefly. When James returned, Jesse excused himself and headed inside the rec center.  Juliet felt James's hands wrap around her waist as he pulled her backwards onto his knee as he returned to his seat. She turned and looked at him with a "be good" expression.

"What? I _am_ bein' good. Awe C'mon, You know I can't help it. The kid is like Capt. of the Nerd Herd. Ain't my fault he makes himself sucha easy target."

"I'm gunna go grab a plate and say goodbye to a few people before we go. You want anything?" Juliet asked after taking a handful of pretzels from behind them.

"Yeh, but food ain't what I got in mind." He grinned. Juliet rolled her eyes and pushed off of his lap.

"I'll be back. I'll find you some chocolate to tide you over- it works for me." Juliet said in a sultry voice- giving him an eyebrow waggle of her own as she sucked pretzel salt off of her finger.

.....

Sawyer dropped his head with a laugh at his obviousness. Miles was right- he was actin' a bit like a horny teen but he had also had a few beers and Juliet pressed against him wasn't helpin' any. Sawyer's smile drained as he watched Juliet moved through the crowd and out of sight. His brow furrowed lightly as he re-scanned the area. There were more people here than he thought there would be.

Sawyer sighed and stood up- stretching his arms dramatically. He was ready to go. He untied his face mask and pulled the black bandanna from his head, tucking the items into his sash but leaving his hair banded together in a ponytail at the nape of his neck. His eyes met Horace's from across the courtyard and his raised his chin in a serious gesture then nodded in a way that said _"Well, I came... I sat.. and I mingled so...I'm leaving."_ Horace gave him a nod back as though he understood. Sawyer loved that guys rarely needed to _"Say Goodbye"_ the way women did. All the making rounds and hugging just wasn't his style.

He wandered over towards Kevin, figuring he should at least say hello- Kevin was kind of his new watchdog at the Motor Pool. The guy was a stoner and loved to hear himself talk but he could hold his own. He was a good guy and Sawyer appreciated that there wasn't a lot of gray area in his personality. Kevin was pretty straight forward about well, everything.

Sawyer moved in and casually picked up a few of the selections Kevin had in his stack. Kevin held up a _"just a sec"_ finger to him and flipped a record onto a player. A song was ending and he was about to play another. Once he dropped the needle, he gave himself a "good job" nod and took off his oversized headphones.

"Heyo- Waz up LaFleur? Ya feelin' tha funk?" Kevin hollered over the sound of _Kool in the Gangs_ "Jungle Boogie" as it started blaring through the speaker to his left.

"Nice threads _Vinyl Richie_ " Sawyer replied sarcastically referring to Kevin's costume.

"Right? Had to go with the flow, man- I'm a car crash victim, you know?" He replied loudly holding up a steering wheel he'd clearly confiscated from the Motor Pool with a mischievous grin.

The guy Sawyer saw with Kevin earlier walked towards them and passed a beer to Kevin giving Sawyer a unsure nod of greeting.

"This is Sam, a newer friend of mine" Kevin said

"Swell outfit, you look... tuff." Sam commented coolly.

Sam was probably in his forties and very average, height, build, hair- nothing jumped out as interesting.  Sawyer smiled charmingly as he categorized the guy in his head. _"Non-Threat" He shook his head and chided himself. "Damn Alpha brain."_

"Yeh, thanks _Sam?_ \- it ain't mine, but it works." Sawyer replied generically as he tried to get a read on the new guy. Sam was dressed in a tacky Hawaiian shirt and a straw fedora. He had a flower lei around his neck as well as two cameras. One Polaroid and one Canon with an impressive attached zoom lens that was much nicer. Kevin was standing in between but knelt down reaching for a few albums in a box under the table- leaving Sawyer and Sam staring at one another.

"I'm a tourist... I know- how original. It was sorta last minute. Unfortunately, I didn't get to the rec center in time and all they had left was an old Star Trek outfit and a gorilla costume."

Sawyer let out a laugh and Sam lifted up a camera and snapped a Polaroid of Sawyer then handed it to him . Sawyer moved around Kevin closer to Sam taking the picture from him. Kevin stood back up. Sam then turned and snapped a shot of Kevin as well waving it in the air as the picture came into existence. He showed Kevin with a chuckle then tucked it into a shoulder bag he was wearing like a purse.

"I see. Nice set a' gear ya got there" Sawyer said idly referring to the cameras, looking for something that would get the guy talking about himself so he didn't have to do anything more than stand there. It worked and Sam started rambling on about photography. Sawyer nodded along, tossing in a few " _oh yeh?_ and _uh huhs_ " to make it seem like he was interested as his eyes panned the crowd. He saw a few solo loitering people but the costumes made identifying anyone nearly impossible. _Yeh, this night was a bust._

"...I take pictures around the barracks for extra cash... New recruitment days, group shots and... whatnot. Ya know? "Say "Namaste~". That's me... It's mostly that... or I take pictures of...whatever people want really."

"Huh, That so?" Sawyer said looking down at the Polaroid of himself in his hand which had come to life.

Kevin put his headphones back on and put on another record then went back to busying himself with organizing his vinyl stack as he lit himself a smoke.

"Yeh... It gets me few bucks here n there. I also do the developing for the medical station's X-rays and the Dharma folks. Technically, maintenance as my real job here, but where's the fun in that. Right? _"_

Sawyer made an expression saying _"Of course.. That's where I've seen you before..."_ then the two of them stood in awkward silence for another long moment before Sam attempted to wrap up the conversation.

"Well, I won't take up anymore of your night. It's getting late...It was nice to meet you Mr...?"

"Call me Jim." Sawyer interrupted putting out his hand to shake Sam's.

"Jim." Sam repeated confidently.

"Yep,  I work at the security station." Sawyer tossed out casually nodding in the direction of the security building on the other side of the barracks.

"Oh? Is that right? Hey... since I have you here, Kevin said you guys over there might be able to help me out on something."

"That so? " Sawyer asked evenly.

"Yes. I have another camera I was... renting out- but the guy isn't here anymore and I didn't get it back from him. Kevin said you guys could probably help." Sam stated, wiping his palms down the front of his shirt.

"Sure, Just swing by security tomorrow and we'll have someone go get it for ya."

"Right on. Thanks, it's a nice camera- great zoom - takes good night shots, I'd sure hate to lose it."

"No problem _Sam._ Who'd ya loan it to?"

Sam paused with a curious hint of nervousness that was not overlooked as his eye darted over Sawyer's shoulder. 

Sawyer turned coolly looking in the direction of Sam's gaze. He caught sight of Juliet laughing as she stopped to talk to someone before she and her red cape disappeared into the rec center. Sawyer squinted and felt his temperature rise suspiciously. Sam swallowed uncomfortably.

"Uh... What? Sorry." Sam said realizing Sawyer catching him looking at Juliet. Sawyer tilted his head.

Kevin pulled off his headphones after briefly reading the guys expressions in an attempt to rejoin the conversation. Meanwhile Sam's eyes were widely darting back and forth as he put together who Sawyer was.

"Uh...Dang..." Sam hesitated again-looking to Kevin for support. Sawyer could tell Sam hadn't thought whatever it was he was going to say through before asking but he was suddenly feeling his anger bubbling up.

"Sumthin' you need ta say _Snapshot?_ "Sawyer asked as his dimples disappeared in seriousness. Sam wasn't oblivious to the change in Sawyers tone.

Sam's face reddened and Sawyer's brow furrowed. Kevin arched both eyebrows curiously.

"What? Why' you lookin' at me? You ask him about the camera?" Kevin said as he slugged Sam in the shoulder in an attempt to snap him out of his stupor.

"Jim?... LaFleur." Sam half inquired and half stated already knowing the answer. He sighed to himself and shook his head at not recognizing him sooner.

Kevin shot another look of confusion between the two as Sawyer gave Sam a nod that he was correct then waited to see what the guy was about to spill.

"I'm sorry- I should've... I shouldn't have...it's nothing.  I'll talk to Horace about it another time. Forget it man."

"Sam? You're being weird. Who borrowed the camera?" Kevin asked, obviously now equally interested as he stubbed out his cigarette and pushed his sunglasses up on top of his head.

Sam let out a heavy sigh as his eyes drug up from the ground to meet Sawyer's.

"Bill... Barstowe." Sam said guiltily.


	46. Chapter 46

Sawyer took a step closer to Sam in an instantly irritated manner. Nothing changed his mood like that man's name. At first, he thought he'd misheard the man. After all- the music was loud and he had had a few more beers than normal. However, Sam had clearly just realized who he was and he knew he was hearing him right. Sawyer's mind was a whirl. A lot of shit had gone down but he hadn't even considered going through Bill's place until that damn list showed up from Horace that afternoon. Sawyer frowned. He was losing his touch. He really had no idea how far Bill had gone.  _James_ just wanted to keep Juliet safe. _Sawyer_ would've been snooping around Bill's within a week if he'd have been thinking and _LaFleur_ \- he shoulda been on Sawyer's side. He shoulda been on top of it.

"Sonofabish..."

"Wait! I know! Okay? Let me explain...It was _over_ a couple months ago. I had no idea things would turn out this way.  I promise!" Sam insisted.

"Heyo- hold up... So- You borrowed a camera to _Bill_?- and you developed the pictures for him?" Kevin questioned as he aligned himself with Sawyer. Sawyer could feel his nostrils flaring and he instantly felt his grip tighten on the photo in his hand. He steadied his breath and clenched his jaw. He had a bad feeling about this.

"No, well yeh but no.. OK look- I _did_ develop the _first_ roll but that's it, man - honest. He said he was really into the whole photo process so I showed him how to develop stuff himself.  He paid me like $20 bucks a month and I didn't ask. I just kinda... forgot about it. Until Kevin told me he went all crazy at the Motor Pool-Then I.. I got nervous, I don't _know_ what he's been doin' with it. I didn't wanna get in trouble. "

Sawyer squinted and he let out an angry huff. He hated it- but he believed the guy. Sam was fidgeting like a kid. Billy Boy was tricky to read.  Sawyer had to admit it even took him way too long to figure the guy out. I mean, initially his gut had been right but he hadn't followed through because Bill had helped them and well,  he didn't wanna come off as an over protective douche since he and Juliet's relationship had just taken off. He recalled all those frustrating afternoons staring at the security footage of the Motor pool, watching Bill- watching Juliet. He'd of course been kicking himself over it ever since. The only one that really knew what Bill wanted was Juliet and it was clear that even she didn't know how far he was willing to go.

"I'll getcher camera back." Sawyer spat under his breath. Sam's eye's moved back to the ground and he nodded in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry." He repeated again in frustration.

"Want me to come?" Kevin said turning to Sawyer.

"Naw- Ain't no need. I'm done here. I ain't gunna worry about it tonight anyhow" He lied. Kevin nodded and grabbed his headphones when he suddenly realized the song was ending and he needed to flip the music.

"I'll stop by yer place tomorrow Captain Kodacrome - Ya ain't gunna get in trouble but I'ma probably need ta file a report. In tha future..I'd appreciate a heads up...."

"Of course... Absolutely. Thanks." Sam interrupted  as he dropped into a nearby chair, defeated.

.......

Sawyer headed to the rec center as Juliet came back out munching on a carrot stick. She held up a candy bar with a grin as Sawyer moved in closely. A semi drunk scowl on his face. 

"What? James~?" Juliet questioned as her expression drained.

"Listen I got a little somethin' I need to check out real quick. You okay fer a few minutes?" Sawyer said under his breath. Juliet nodded as she swallowed her food.

"Yea, sure. What's up?" Juliet inquired suspiciously.

"Maybe nothin, I ain't sure yet. Just got a feelin'. I'll fill ya in when I get back." Sawyer handed Juliet the Polaroid of himself and gave her a fake grin.

"Okay..." Juliet replied in seriousness as she took the photo. Sawyer turned to go then doubled back to give her a distracted kiss, taking the candy bar from her still raised hand before he headed off towards the main barracks.

Juliet watched Sawyer hurry off, stopping to grab a few cans of beer on his way past the coolers. She turned to look back inside the rec center where Miles and Jin were shooting pool with a few other party-goers and let out a huff. " _Great! I've been ditched. Now what?"_ .  A few costumed figures passed her and she smiled politely, underneath she was bothered by not being able to tell who was who.  Everyone was having a great time. There was music, laughing and squealing. She didn't quite feel like she fit in. She also couldn't help but notice the crowd was thinning and the ones left were beginning to get a little rowdy. Juliet slowly made her way over to the bonfire watching the smoke twist up into the air. The wind picked up a bit and she trapped her cape behind herself- swooping it together and bringing it around to tuck under her arms as she wrapped them around herself. She smiled thinking of how non-functional it was for superheroes to wear capes as hers seemed to gravitate towards the fire. She took a deliberate step backward and watched the flames flicker as they danced into the night sky. The bonfire had gotten considerably bigger as people became more intoxicated.

......

_Juliet stood in the dark with the plane crash survivors as the sound of the waves washed the shores rhythmically. The time flashes had already started and everyone was on edge. Miles had just come back from the jungle carrying a dead hog and asked if anyone had a knife- Juliet remembered a scrawny guy in the group was starting to come undone._

_"What's your problem?" Miles snapped at him as he leaned over his dead swine._

_"My problem is... we don't have* a knife-we don't have anything and it wouldn't even matter if we did cus Bernie the dentist can't even start a fire."_

_"Hey, Ease up there Frogert." James interuptted- stepping out from his place beside Juliet - trying to quell the escalating situation._

_"It's NEIL you inbred. and I'm not gunna ease up!" He spat in anger. Juliet heard James let out a heavy breath as his brow furrowed and he started to move in on the guy. Her eyes darted between them and she quickly took a few long steps in and gently grabbed hold of James's arm as the man continued to rant._

_"Calm down Neil, we're gunna get through this." Juliet interjected in a calm motherly tone._

_"How are any of us gunna get through this? ... We can't even get FIRE!"_

_At that instant a flaming arrow lodged into Neal's chest. Juliet's eyes went wide and she found herself spinning around at the same time as James just in time for them to see a volley of fiery arrows coming right at them._

_James's yell echoed in her mind._

_"RUN!"_

_And... she did. Fire arrows were piercing the ground all around. People were running and screaming as they headed for the jungle. A woman tripped and Juliet instinctively scooped her up. She didn't even know her name. A few yards later an arrow ripped through a man just ahead of them setting him ablaze. Juliet pushed the woman onward and dropped down, frantically shoveling sand with her hands -trying to put out the fire as the man lay in stillness.. She remembered that she could smell his flesh burning, it was the same smell  her skin had when she was branded but stronger. Just as she managed to get the fire out -James had grabbed her arm, he ran back for her and was pulling her to her feet. She was probably in shock as she looked up at him stupidly. "no, no.."_

_"Come on! He's dead! You wanna be dead too?"_

_Juliet turned back to look at the man as James protectively dragged her into the safety of the trees._

_"There's nothin you coulda done. We gotta go now!"_

.......

Sawyer swaggered into the security building and down the stairs with a purposeful intoxicated arrogance. On the main table was the list of houses from Horace along with a small wicker basket of keys that must have arrived sometime after he left that afternoon. He could clearly see the numbers taped to each one. _Well, ain't that convenient._ He sighed loudly then started singing as he entered the room.

" _Show me the waaay to goo home..bommmbommm_....Howdy boys~ What's on the tube?" He said loudly as Jerry walked out of the back with a surprised expression. Phil turned his chair, clearly annoyed by Sawyer showing up drunk.

"Well LaFleur- you were- til about 3 minutes ago. You get lost on your way _home_?" Phil said as he turned back to his monitors with an eye roll.

"Jeez, Sorry I'm ruinin yer night Dippity Do. I just thought you might wanna free beer." He said moving in to a calculated distance and pulling out the cans he had snatched on his way over. He was actually there to see what areas the guys were monitoring tonight. The party was a good distraction from watching where he wanted to go.

"Awe hey, Thanks man! Cool sword!" Jerry said taking a beer and cracking it open then pausing nervously to look at Phil.

Sawyer stepped up next to Phil and heavily set the beer down then cracked it open for him.

"It's just one drink pal. No need to turn into an anger ball, I ain't stayin' '." Sawyer leaned briefly on the counter to get a good visual- one camera was going to be a problem. He moved to stand up and pretended to reach over and pat Phil on the back but overshot, falling forward in what looked like a lame attempt to catch himself. Instead he stealthy spun the zoom dial on the monitor- it was in so close now - they wouldn't see a thing.

"Wooops, ha- well I guess that's my queue." He said standing up and checking the picture with a satisfied grin. He noticed Phil start checking the dials and quickly pulled out the candy bar Juliet had given him.

"Think fast" he said tossing it at Phil, successfully distracting him into catching it. Phil let out a heavy sigh and gave Sawyer a nod.

"Yeh, whatever- thanks."

"Alrighty, gentlemen. Have a lovely rest of yer night. I'll show myself out. Jerry! You were right man, helluva party!" Sawyer said pointing as he spun towards Jerry, knocking the basket from the table to the floor. 

"Damnnit. Will ya lookit me?" Sawyer dropped down quickly as Jerry moved in to help pick up the fallen keys.

"Right on man. It's no problemo. Ha- Good times! Ya know?" Jerry nodded- clearly still trying to butter him up after last nights sleeping fiasco. Phil turned with a look of disgust as he unwrapped his chocolate bar.

Sawyer slapped Jerry on the back and stood up with a waiver. He continued his song on his way up the stairs to accentuate his condition.

" _...  I'm tired an I wanna go to bed... Ooh I hadda little drink about an hour ago... and it's gone right to my head.._."

As soon as the door closed, Sawyer straightened his posture and headed exactly where he knew no one would be looking. He pulled a very specifically numbered key from the fabric of the pirate sash around his waist and within minutes he was using it to unlock the door of his least favorite person in Dharmaville. _Alright Cowboy. Show me who you are._

......

The door creaked open and Sawyer stepped inside Bill's bunk house. It was a one bedroom- laid out like a mirror image of his and Juliet's. Sawyer looked around with the feeling like he should've brought a flashlight. Perhaps he was a bit less than sober after all. He moved to the living room and pulled the curtain closed tightly- then made his way to the kitchen and used the tiny hood light on the stove to dimly light the room. It looked like they didn't give Bill a chance to come back before they hauled him off. The kitchen still had dishes in the sink and it was clear that no one had been in to clean the place. Sawyer almost felt a little bad for the guy- there's no way he coulda known what these people were capable of when he got here. Juliet flashed through his head and he instantly lost any feelings of sympathy. _This bastard had it comin'._

Sawyer moved down the hall to the bedroom which luckily faced away from any suspicion-backing up to a wooded area. He closed himself in and flipped the light switch, squinting a bit at the sudden introduction to light. The room was basic, nothing crazy about it. The bed still unmade, laundry was piled in the closet. The window was cracked open and a small breeze was seeping in and causing the transparent curtain to billow up eerily- In the lamp light, Sawyer's eye was instantly drawn to a Pentax camera sitting atop a tall dresser. _Bingo!_

He walked over and reached for the camera. The film compartment flipped open revealing that it was empty. There was an attached lens on it. Sam was right- it was a nice camera. The strap was caught in the top drawer and Sawyer pulled it open. He froze at what he saw staring back at him. It was exactly what he knew he'd find and what he feared seeing at the same time. A stack of photos in multiple sizes, from 3x3 to 5x7 all in black and white, and all of them having at least one thing in common, _Juliet._ Sawyer felt his nostrils widen and the dent between his eyebrows deepen in anger. He ripped the drawer from it's home and tossed it on the bed, shoving a few fallen strands of hair back as he angrily emptied the contents. He yanked his plastic sword from his waist to get it out of his way as he hovered over the pile of scattered pictures. With shaking hands, Sawyer rifled through at least a dozen photos.  Different hairstyles, some with date stamps. Night shots, daytime ones, some shots were dangerously close-up for someone to not notice. Of all of the pictures in the pile, there were actually a few where Juliet looked  towards the camera like she felt someone watching her. It sent a serious chill up Sawyer's spine. Sawyer collected the photos and moved checked the other dresser drawers- finding nothing. He picked through the closet, pulling down items recklessly- looking for the negatives and whatever else Bill may have stashed away. He found some camping gear and a bag he could use to put the camera and photos in.  There was no way he was leaving them behind.

Sawyer made one last visual sweep of the room- opening the small drawer in the bedside table. His eyes closed and his head dropped forward as he let his body melt to his knees beside the table. He reached in and pulled out Juliet's bloody bandanna from the night in the jungle and a drawing of the mark on her back.  Beneath the items were 2 more black and white photos. The first one was a shot of Sawyer and Juliet at the last party at the end of the night on the dance floor, it was clearly taken from a distance-but zoomed in. Sawyer steadied himself and dropped back on his haunches. _How did he not notice?_ The memory of that night suddenly took on a much darker meaning in his mind. He had known that they were drawing attention but he had no idea about the depths. If this picture had been taken by anyone else- Sawyer might have considered having it framed. They both looked happy and Juliet looked perfect. The last photo made Sawyer's stomach turn. _"Sonofa..."_ This one was definitely taken from inside Sawyer and Juliet's living room near the front door-aiming down the hall through a half open bedroom door, Juliet was in profile, facing the closet- in her bra, clearly changing clothes. Sawyer held tightly to it as his mind reeled. _Bill had been inside their house._ He quickly began regretting not having finished Bill off when he had the chance. Sawyer shuffled the things into his bag and got to his feet. He needed to get back before people started looking for him. He needed to find Juliet and tell her that the situation with the Cowboy was all much worse than they'd thought.

Sawyer turned off the light and moved back down the hall- stopping to glance in the bathroom. He flipped the switch and a safe light illuminated the room in red tones.. _The dark room._ In the bathtub there were three flat plastic bins filled with clear liquids, their bottles lined the wall along the floor. The sink was also filled. There was a clothes line hanging across the room with a a series of photos still clamped to it. Sawyer felt light headed as he moved closer. It was like some serial killer movie and he was the detective who put the pieces of the puzzle together. This guy had been living amongst them, acting like a regular Joe. It was all so unbelievable. Sawyer growled as he considered all that could've happened- this was bad. Bending down he peeked under the open sink cabinet. There he found a rectangle crate that was being used as storage. _The negatives..._ He pulled it out and opened his bag, dumping the small brown strips and rolls of film into it. He actually felt himself let out a sigh of relief. As he stood up and reached for the hanging photos he was able to more clearly make out the pictures. His heart began to race faster as one by one he yanked them free. Juliet with Amy arm in arm walking in the courtyard through the dark, unknowing smiles on their faces. Juliet, asleep on their couch, another shot blatantly taken from inside the house, close up and the coupe de grace- Juliet's body silhouetted perfectly through the darkness of their front window...last night.

 _Holy shit!_ His eyes darted quickly around the small room- the words playing over in his own head _"last night, last night"_ Sawyer grabbed a hold of the towel rack to steady himself- he was seeing red and it wasn't just the lights playing tricks on him. He honestly felt like he might pass out. He swallowed hard as his eye followed his arm to the towel it had made contact with... a wet towel. Sawyer threw himself over the crate and into the hall. He slung the pack on his back and raced to the door. Juliet was the only thing on his mind as he made his way back to the party. A few yards out he paused against a tree, bending his head low to catch his breath. He scanned the crowd in a panic. He didn't see her. Why didn't he see her?! _Shit shit shit!_

He looked across the dark space and saw their living room light on in the distance. Letting out a short sigh of relief at the idea that Juliet was home he moved around the perimeter of the party.  He walked with purpose and tried not to look anyone in the eye, for fear of being stopped or drawing attention to himself. His eyes darted around carefully looking for any signs of someone watching him- or anyone with a mask really. It was like it was all happening in slow motion and surround sound. The voices and laughter were echoing in his head as he half ran half stumbled towards his house.  He swung the front screen door open, unlocked the door and walked in. No chair.

"Juliet!?" Sawyer hollered into the space. He dropped the bag and took 4 long strides towards the bedroom. Had he left the light on earlier? As he passed the bathroom- the door flew open and Sawyer felt his body being launched into the hall head first. His head bounced off the wall with a heavy sounding thud. A masculine form grabbed hold of him from behind locking an arm around his neck and holding it tightly. Sawyer dropped to his knees, his hands pressed to the wall in an attempt to stand. His reaction time had failed and before he could move he was in a deep rear naked choke. He felt the veins in his forehead bulge as he gasped for air. He threw his back into the opposite wall and heard a grunt come out of the man holding him. The two of them slid down the wall and Sawyer rolled to his back in an attempt to elbow the form beneath him. "Sonof..." he spat through his clenched teeth.

The last thing Sawyer heard before he blacked out was the familiar voice of his nemesis whispering up against his ear in a huff of exertion as he tightened his hold more -like a python subduing his prey.

"I told you- you shoulda killed me LaFleur."

........

 


	47. Chapter 47

Juliet finally broke eye contact with the bonfire, looking down once again to the photo of James in her hand. The corner of her mouth twitched and her eyebrows angled. A lot of people died that night, on the beach. If James hadn't come back for her- she might have died too. He had her back, even then.

She looked up when she felt someone watching her. A man dressed in black with a white masked costume who reminded her of the Phantom of the Opera had appeared through the flames, his form slightly distorted from the heat between them as he stood on the other side of the bonfire. He paused then reached over, taking a burnt out tiki torch from the ground and relighting it, he bowed his head towards Juliet then turned to go. She blinked kindly at him and watched him go as the torch drifted silently away-dwindling into the darkness of the courtyard. A chill ran through her. Nope. She'd never been a fan of the scarier Halloween costumes. Even as a teenager- Rachel used to drag her to haunted houses, horror movies and parties and Juliet hated every minute of it. Rachel lived for the adrenaline of being scared without consequence and teenage boys were ruthless when it came to terrifying girls on Halloween. It was as though covering their faces gave them permission to act like monsters. Juliet was not a fan. Since then she'd met many monsters that needed no masks. It was probably a big reason she chose to drink lightly tonight. It somehow made her feel like she had more control.

Juliet stood by herself for a few more awkward moments then turned on her heel and headed to the rec center.  She noticed a few of the guys that were playing pool inside had begun to raise their voices, shoving one another- it seemed in jest but they had both clearly had a few too many drinks. Miles made eye contact with her and  Juliet made a face gesturing at the scene that was unfolding. She gave Miles and Jin the _"I'm gunna head out"_ hitch hiker thumb. She didn't feel like going back inside and having to go through a potential scuffle, twice. Jin nodded in acknowledgement and Miles gave her the Vulcan salute again.  Juliet smiled at them but let her features melt as she turned her back to leave. Her mood was completely destroyed. She was having a hard time staying out of her head, which meant she was ready to go home. Amy caught her eye as she sat alone at a table nearby. She was rocking to the music with a plastered on smile, clearly a little buzzed. Juliet headed over for a final goodnight. 

"Hey- Juliet~Where's Jim?" Amy said glancing around as Juliet approached.

"He headed home early. Probably a few too many free drinks." Juliet tipped her chin with sarcastic sweetness. It wasn't entirely a lie- James drank quite a bit tonight.

"I see- well tell him I think he looked _very_ handsome and I'm glad he came - even if it was only for the beer." Amy chuckled to herself. "  
"Oh. Will do...Where's Horace?"

"He said he wanted to make one more round- make sure everyone was happy. I think he's the only sober person left. Besides maybe you?" Amy said as she took notice of Juliet's rather stoic disposition.

"Heh, Yeh. Wasn't really in the mood. Is it okay if I swing back by your place to change? I need to grab my clothes... and keys." Juliet said jokingly as she referred to her lack of pockets.

"Ha- Of course! I'll walk you back." Amy replied standing up and straightening her dress with a wobble. Juliet reached out to steady her as Amy huffed at her own lack of coordination. Juliet had to let out a small laugh and crinkled her nose at the fact that, Amy,  even in her outrageous heels was still considerably shorter than her.

"Thank you but you don't have to do that, It's only around the corner. Plus then I'd have to walk _you_ back and it could get ridiculous. Stay. Enjoy the night, the party turned out great. I'm glad we came."

"Hahaha you are probably right- Glad you came too. You can leave your costume on the counter- I'm going to wash a load tomorrow anyways."

"Thanks" Juliet nodded in polite compliance.

"Horace did say he'd be right back. You remember where the key is?" Amy asked knowing Juliet did. Juliet tipped her head with a slow thankful blink and gave Amy a hug.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Juliet said sweetly.

"Night gorgeous!" Amy beamed at Juliet as Juliet walked away. She blushed and shook her head, turning back with a smile _Yep, she's drunk_.

"Night."

.........

Juliet walked up the porch to Amy's- turning to look over her shoulder at her own house where she saw a light on. She made a curious face and wondered how long she'd stood at the party, staring at nothing after James had left. Why hadn't he come back for her? Juliet bent down and picked up a tacky-looking ceramic frog next to Amy's porch swing and removed the key hidden beneath it. She laughed at the obvious choice of hiding places then thought back to her own "under the mat" location when she'd first moved in to her place. It had been there for weeks and weeks before James had finally confiscated it. Juliet let herself in and picked up her pile of clothes from the couch. She headed to the bathroom to change, just in case Amy came back with Horace sooner than expected- it was the safest place to not be seen. _  
_

She set down her clothes on the counter top and looked herself over in the mirror, Amy's mirror. The same mirror she had gazed into when she had arrived here for the first time... the last time... again. Her face had filled in a bit, her hair was healthy and sun kissed and her cheeks were no longer sunken in but there was still a hint of sadness behind her eyes that she couldn't quite categorize. She was happier with James than she'd been in a long time yet there was always a lingering feeling that what they had would be ripped away just as everything she loved always was. Juliet puffed her cheeks and blew out a breath. She looked up and started a silent conversation with her reflection. " _C'mon Juliet, why can't you just let yourself be content? Things could be a lot worse."_ There were still so many unanswered questions. _"It's never going to be safe here. Even if things go right and you do get back. You'll still lose him."_ Juliet instantly had a vision of James with Kate in his arms on the beach. She groaned at her own insecurities and ran her fingers up her face and back into her hair, shaking out the thought. _  
_

"annnd that's why." She whispered disappointingly to the superhero in the mirror as though she expected an argument. Oh the irony! She couldn't even save herself and here she was dressed up as someone who had the ability to save _everyone_. The thought made her think of home. Had John really "saved" them? Or just sentenced them to a different dimension of hell? Juliet was beginning to think Jack and the others probably thought they were dead. Even if John did get back to the island- No one would be there. They were here, in 1974. John left during the island's time shift and they had flashed at least twice after that to get here. Juliet let out a huge sigh. Suddenly she found herself missing Daniel and his crazy albeit probably genius rantings. She needed to believe that the same twist of fate that brought them here would also be able to take them home. Juliet's face pinched as her gut told her otherwise. She didn't really belong anywhere anymore. The only person that made her feel like she belonged was James .. He was the only thing that made her feel alive. Juliet slipped her shoulders and arms out of her costume successfully getting herself back on task. She decided that for now- James and the guys was all she needed.

.........

Sawyer opened his eyes- his face deeply resting in the shag carpet. The room was blurry but quickly coming into focus. Sawyer groaned at the pain in his head and jerked in realization at what had happened. He moved to roll to his back but was stopped because there was a knee harshly pressing into his back.

"You aren't too quick after you've had a few drinks, huh LaFleur?" Bill said as he finished securing Sawyer's hands behind his back with what felt like the same texture as the clothesline he'd found in Bill's bathroom.

Sawyer growled as he spit the iron taste from his mouth and looked up sideways at Bill as the man yanked at the ropes around his wrists unmercifully. His face had healed from when Sawyer had pummeled it but there was a dark spark of adrenaline in his green eyes that Sawyer couldn't read. The man looked like he hadn't slept in weeks.

"I'm afraid we don't have a lot of time to chat before Juliet gets home." Bill said as he used a small steak knife in his hand, that was definitely from the kitchen, to cut the long dangling end of rope off- tucking it into his belt.

"You Sonofabitch."

  
"I see you found my collection. I appreciate you returning it, saves me a trip." He said ignoring Sawyer's insult and stepping over him - Bill moved to the front door and locked it. He gathered up the backpack and a few photos which had spilled onto the linoleum.

Sawyers nostrils flared as Bill admired a photo in his hand, flipping it over to show him. It was a close-up photo of Juliet laughing.  She wasn't looking towards the camera but, it didn't matter. Her face perfectly bathed in sunlight. She was his everything.

"She really is amazing. I knew it the moment I met her. She's the reason why I transferred to the Motor Pool. Did you know that? I had to physically punch Stuart and beg Horace to get me out of working out at the Flame. Took two weeks of convincing. I had everything planned out so perfectly - then _you_ had to ruin it. But, things are about to change."

Bill set the backpack and knife on the kitchen table next to a white mask that must have been part of his disguise. Sawyer hadn't recalled seeing it at the rec center party.

"Yer a dead man Casanova" Sawyer said flatly.

Bill's breathing quickened and he grabbed a chair from the kitchen, slamming it down in front of Sawyer's head as Sawyer flinched away. Bill moved around and pulled Sawyer's elbows together, heaving him upright into the chair before getting in close to Sawyer's face, yanking his head back by his still mostly bound together hair.

"Or..maybe.. you are." Bill said back coolly as he stood back up- crossing to the window to look through the curtains.

Sawyer growled. He considered standing up, attempting to fight with his hands behind his back but his head was a bit fuzzy and he knew he probably wouldn't get far. He silently cursed himself for drinking as much as he had, he shoulda known better. He'd thought for sure that his trip to Bill's place had sobered him - but clearly that wasn't the case. Bill turned and watched him, stared at him, arms hanging rigidly at his sides, fists clenching. Sawyer's mouth tightened knowingly. He knew Bill wanted nothing more than to hurt him. They shared the same temper. Sawyer wondered why he _hadn't_ just killed him. He noticed Bill hadn't brought any weapons with him.  He must have some plan- but then again- he was using whatever was around- which meant if he had a plan he hadn't planned it well. These facts made him dangerously reckless but also left room for error.

 

"Juliet will understand everything after tonight. Once you're gone." Bill stated stoically attempting to steady his breathing. Sawyer leaned back, probably more arrogantly than he should've and tipped his head confidently.

"You lost yer mind Cowboy? She never loved you." Bill snarled in disagreement as he charged at his captive. Sawyer kicked a leg out and Bill moved to the side untouched. He threw a heavy right hook into the left side of Sawyer's head.

"She will. You didn't see the way Juliet used to look at me! You changed her!" Bill said flexing his fingers. Sawyer could see he was clearly delusional but he continued anyhow.

"You scare her. YOU ain't done nothin' but hurt her." Sawyer spat as another fist connected with his gut.

"I saved her! I _told_ that guy... what's his name? Widmore? YEH! I told him I wouldn't do it! He wanted to pay me-  to take her to _them_." Bill's teeth clenched in anger as he finally let the truth fall from his mouth. Sawyer's brow furrowed as his words sunk in.

"The hell you talkin' about? You knew about that?!" Sawyer growled in disbelief. Bill took a few steps out of range, took a few deep breaths then proceeded to explain.

"I saw her mark. I knew it was from them and I knew she was in trouble. He wanted her- and I told him "no", I didn't know he'd go through Mack."

"That's why you sprung us out when it happened. Why you said you owed her?"  
"I wasn't about to let them have her!"  
Sawyer let a breath heavily fall from his mouth and shook his head. This guy actually really thought he was protecting Juliet.

"What if I told you that ain't the reason he wanted her and _they_ don't know about that mark, not unless you told em" Sawyer said through clenched teeth.

"You don't know what you're talking about!- She told me. I know what I heard LaFleur."

"Yeh, yeh I know you _think_ you do but it ain't that simple!"

  
Bill's face pinched, he shook his head as though he wanted to believe but couldn't quite remember the right details. His eyes darted around and he moved in and pulled Sawyer's bandanna from his sash. He looked at it and moved back to retrieve  another chair from the kitchen. Bill stopped for a moment watching Sawyer's expression as he purposely set the chair in front of the door. Sawyer felt his body become heated as he came to the understanding that _Bill_ was the reason Juliet had been leaving the chair there.

"You sick bastard.  Whatever yer thinkin'. Ya ain't thinkin' straight. Yer memories are...are all mixed up- I seen it happen before... out there... where you were." Sawyer said as Claire flashed through his mind.   
"Shut up! I know what I need to do. _It_ showed me. I should've done it a long time ago. I'm ending this nightmare for all of us. I'm taking her someplace safe... and it can give you to them for all I care." Bill crossed back to Sawyer with the bandanna out. As he untied the previous knot as Sawyer tried to reason with him.

"It? What _It?!_ You talkin' bout the smoke? Dammit listen ta me, Bill. Ol'Smokey ain't with _them_... It ain't yer friend! That _thing_ almost killed you in case ya don't remember."  
"I remember everything!" Bill spat nervously as he wrapped the black cloth around Sawyers face and tightly arranged it in his mouth. Sawyer grunted as Bill dropped down and tied the smaller piece of rope from his belt around Sawyer's left ankle to the chair leg.

"I can't risk you feeling the need to get up or express yourself. You understand. Juliet and I... we need to talk.

Sawyer tried to reply but the only sound that came out was a muffled mumble. His nostrils flared as Bill moved behind him, took the chair and tipped it backwards, effectively using it to drag Sawyer further from the door and setting him down at the start of the hallway.

  
Bill paused for a moment then leaned in and untied the sash from Sawyer's waist as well, tucking it into his own belt. He crossed back over to sit down on the couch and wait.  Sawyer stared at him as he tested his both his ankle and wrists. How could he have been so stupid? He sure felt sober right now even though he was sure it was just the adrenaline. He knew one thing for certain; There was no way he was letting Bill take Juliet anywhere. Bill's eyes narrowed as he sat -taking deep breaths, he leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees. He tapped his foot impatiently as though waiting in a doctor's office and Sawyer could see he was still deciding his next moves.

....

 

Juliet was glad to be back in her own clothes. Dated as it was. she liked her simple scoop neck t-shirt and classic pair of bell bottomed jeans. She put her costume on the counter for Amy. She picked up her keys and the photo of James, Juliet was actually happy to have one, still camera's were something of a rarity on the island which was ironic considering that Dharmaville was almost always being watched by security ones. She tucked the picture in her back pocket and let herself out, placing the key back where she found it.  The music was still thumping though the volume seemed to have dropped a bit. It was getting late and the party would probably be wrapping up in the next couple of hours. 

She walked up her porch steps and opened the screen door checking the courtyard again as she put her key in the lock. It was quieter over here. Darker. She thought she saw the curtain move from inside and assumed James might have seen her come home.  She unlocked the door and pushed it open but it halted after only a few inches.  
"James?" She called through the crack as she tried the door again against whatever was blocking it.

She heard a muffled voice then a shuffle and chair sliding across the floor. It was a sound she'd made herself many times before. She pushed the door again and it met no resistance.

"Everything okay?- I didn't see you come ba..." Juliet started.

As she stepped in the half open door she felt a force hit her hard from her right. Juliet turned away from it instinctively as she was hurled into the edge of the wall where the entryway met the kitchen. Juliet's knees buckled as she bounced off of the wall. Her brow just above her left eye taking the harsh impact of the corner.  She let out a _"hu-uh"_ sound of pain and dropped like a rock. Someone caught her, scooping his arms around her from behind, quickly encasing her in a barrel hold, trapping her arms at her sides.  Juliet tried to kick her legs but felt the body behind her stealthy move out of harms way. He spun them and kicked the door shut as Juliet desperately tried to pull her arms free. Her legs lifting to push off the door with no result. She heard a distinct muffled roar and felt her chest tighten. She let out a frustrated wheeze as she was taken down in one heavy swoop. Stunned instantly upon impact with the floor.

"Shhhh." The voice said, breathing into her blonde waves which were falling  in front of her face. She gasped painfully at the pressure against her abdomen as she lay pressed to the floor. The arms began to pull free from beneath her and Juliet surged up as she felt the grip loosen. A masculine hand quickly yanked her right arm out from under her, twisting it up behind her back as her shoulder and face collided solidly back into the floor. Juliet let out a sharp yelp. Her other hand pressed uselessly behind her trying to bend down and push at the knee crushing her left hip bone into the linoleum. Juliet's breath heaved as she tried to maneuver herself but there was no use. She was flattened into position as though she were about to be arrested. A flash of a memory hit her like a brick.

_Bill quickly slammed her hard against the door. Juliet let out a whimper as the wind was knocked out of her.  
_

_"Still a dream?" He said whispering in her ear as the warm feel of his body pressed into hers._

Juliet's eyes watered in a more invigorated attempt to turn, to pull her arm free, to fight. A series of grunts and forced breaths escaped her. Bill's broad shoulders solidly and confidently pressed down hard using his weight against her with the fingers of his free hand deeply intertwining in her hair. He slowly pulled her head back arching her back like a puppet. She heard a loud thud come from the other side of the room.

"No. Stop...no..." Juliet's struggling voice repeated, in a breathy panic as her nose flared. She felt her heart thumping against the floor at the realization of who had hold of her..

"Don't _._ "Bill warned curtly. That single word was like a icy dagger through her. Juliet froze in accidental compliance at the sound of the familiar voice coming from behind her. She stopped breathing for a moment as he adjusted his hold. Heat was radiating off of him. Once she'd stopped moving, Bill let her head back down and Juliet rolled her face towards the living room, her hair sticking to her instantly sweating neck. Her glassy blue eyes glued to a man tied to a fallen kitchen chair across the room. Juliet's mouth fell open as she took in a staggered breath. He was heaving too- his eyes locked on hers.

"James." She whispered as her body's ability to fight instantly melted away. He was hurt. Juliet's pained expression was slowly draining and being replaced by a more stoic one. James squinted at her questioningly as he saw her flip her emotions off.  His mind reeled at the idea of her giving in. He shook his head _"no"_ at her.

Sawyer had witnessed Bill take hold of Juliet, she hadn't even screamed. He had. He'd thrown himself forward in a vain attempt to either break free or distract Bill. His face was red- he was gagged and sweating, he had blood dripping rhythmically from his nose.

"Afraid this isn't a dream Jules" Bill said sharply.

.....


	48. Chapter 48

Juliet held eye contact with James, the corner of her mouth twitched as her mind raced. James's expression was one of apology and all out anger.

There was a long silence. Juliet could feel Bill's breath huffing against the back of her head- his torso pressing down on her heaving back with dominant force. Juliet's nose was running, her eyes glassed over in frustration as she lay with her cheek pressed to the floor, her arm painfully tingling.

"Always a fighter when you're pushed. One of the things I like about you, Jules. Just... not right now." Juliet's eyes darted around as she forced breaths in and out of her compressed lungs. She needed to find out his intentions.

"Why are you here?" Juliet asked, her voice just above a whisper. Bill paused, as though it were obvious.

"For you. I... figured it out, the dreams. I know how to help you. Help _us_."  He breathed as he pushed himself up- straddling the backs of her thighs, his voice was remarkably calm as though the two of them had just bumped into one another next to the water cooler at work. Juliet felt a chill crawl up her spine.

Juliet let out a light gasp as his weight shifted. Bill clearly wasn't there to kill them. If he was- James would already be dead.  Juliet's brain was suddenly in overdrive, every encounter with Bill was flashing through her mind. Memories of Edmund were also assaulting her as she tried to sort out the threat- and her best approach.  She had to be careful, look for an opportunity. Juliet knew that there was no reasoning with Bill-just as with Edmund- she needed to remain calm and hope he did too.

"Ok." She in simple compliance. She saw James from the corner of her eye. He let out a grunt and shuffled to change his angle, she guessed he was trying to sit upright.

"Then help me. but... not... like this." She continued carefully, in a gentle tone that made Sawyer pause. Sawyer watched Bill's eyes move along Juliet's pinned down form for a moment, his face unreadable.

Bill nodded in agreement then released Juliet's head as well as his grip on her twisted arm. Juliet turned her face away from James and rested her head in the opposite direction. Her heart clenched as she heard him respond.

Sawyer watched as the Cowboy softened his hold on Juliet. His hand moved to softy brush her blond locks back out of the way of her face. Her body tensed ever so slightly. Sawyer saw it. Bill didn't.

"I have a plan... to fix it all." Bill said as his palms moved down Juliet's back delicately lifting her shirt to reveal her scar. He traced it lightly with his thumb and Juliet's eyes fluttered- a nauseous feeling crept into her gut. Her expression pinched with anxiety as she listened to James breathe more heavily. She swallowed hard as she tucked her bent arms in closer to her body with her palms to the floor.

"Bill, please." Juliet pleaded in a whisper trying to steady her voice.

Sawyer's eyes closed in frustration at the sound of Juliet begging Bill. Juliet was trapped by this psychopath and it was his fault. She had turned away from him. She didn't want him looking at her. He didn't know what she was doing, what she was thinking. He watched in muffled horror. The ache in his wrists was moving steadily up to his shoulder. He'd managed to shift upright-and was leaning awkwardly with one shoulder against the hallway wall, the chair still dangling on the rope attached his left ankle. He did the only thing he could and started focusing on rubbing his right foot against the binding in hopes that he could loosen it and slide it down off the chair leg. Bill looked over at Sawyer and Sawyer halted his movements staring at Bill with a serious look of contempt. _That's right- Yer a dead man, you just don't know it yet- Billy Boy._ Sawyer thought loudly. He brushed his face against his shoulder, silently thankful his nose had stopped bleeding. Bill grinned at him in return.  

"Please" Juliet repeated trying to break the silence.

Bill's face contorted for a moment with a look of confusion as his attention moved back to the blonde trapped beneath him. He shook his head as though his vision were blurry then nodded and slowly lifted himself up-allowing Juliet to roll to her back and purposely shift into a more vulnerable position. Sawyer could now see the look in Juliet's eyes as they met Bill's for the first time since that day at the Motor Pool. She was trying to seem in control but he knew it was the same terrified look she'd once given him. Her chest was rising and falling in tight bursts. Bill set himself back down in a full mount across Juliet's abdomen. His fingers reached for the red bump above her eye from where she'd hit the wall.

"Sorry" He said, clearly trying to apologize for his roughness.

Sawyer rolled his eyes angrily. The corner of Juliet's mouth twitched and she tipped her head shaking it at him sadly as though she were silently asking him not to do this. Her hands came up ever so slowly-hovering defensively in front of her still rapidly rising and falling chest. Bill let his fingertips trace her temple and down her jawline. He sighed at her expression resting his fingers on her collarbone then Bill's eyes continued down her body to where his thighs met her hips. It was as though he was memorizing her. Bill had never had the opportunity to touch her without repercussion and she was literally frozen over it. Her voice was gone. Her throat locked just as it always did when things spun out of her control. It felt like fingers were pressing against her vocal chords. Painfully tight and completely non-functional.

To Sawyer it was like watching one of his worst nightmares. Juliet was silent as Bill's hands freely roamed over her. His touch wasn't sexual-but Sawyer wasn't willing to wait until it was. Sawyer roared through his gag, kicking the wall hard as the chair leg broke off and bounced free. _The hell you doin? Fight Juliet!_ His mind screamed. He'd seen her take down two guys, why was she allowing this? His meltdown worked. Juliet's breath hitched as though it snapped her out of her paralysis. Juliet's eye's averted from Bill's to Sawyer's for only a fraction of a second but it was long enough.

"Don't worry about him! Look at me!" Bill's voice boomed jealously.

Juliet sucked in her breath as her hands instinctively flew up to cover her face, an innate response from her days with Edmund. The quick motion startled Bill and he swiftly gripped Juliet's thin wrists and pinned them on each side of her head with a audible thud- forcing the breath back out. Juliet swallowed hard as Bill's face hovered inches over hers. He turned his head sideways and looked at James maniacally. Now it was Sawyer who froze at Bill's words combined with the look on Juliet's face.

"You don't want me touching her?" Bill half- asked and half stated at Sawyer as Juliet dangerously followed his stare. Her nose flared and gave James a pained look silently pleading with him to _"Stop"_.  Bill purposely shifted his position, grinding himself downward just enough for her to feel _him_ and release a tense sound. She could see that James was losing it which was causing Bill to lose it. She hadn't factored in James being such a dominant influence on how Bill reacted to her. Juliet was now breathing so shallowly she wasn't entirely sure she was breathing at all. She did know that her heart was beating heavy in her chest- because it was so strong she could hear it in her ears.

"Bill."

She choked out in an attempt to reclaim her words. Juliet needed him to look at her- for all of their sake. Bill's sweat was dripping off his brow as he brought his gaze back to Juliet. She locked eyes with him and blinked slowly as her eyebrows angled painfully.

"Not like this..."  Juliet repeated. Bill looked at her guiltily and his features softened once again. He eased off her arms and back up on his haunches still keeping himself fully mounted across Juliet's hips. She left her arms where he'd pinned them, implying that she was no threat.  Bill looked around the room briefly then slid the sash from his belt with another look of apology. He set it aside as Juliet and Sawyer both watched him intently. Next he moved to remove the leather belt from around his waist.

Sawyer rolled his shoulder and growled as he tried to get to his knees but instead he found himself sliding back down the wall. His arms were bound too tightly for him to get the right leverage. Bill sighed in disappointment, clearly insulted at Sawyer's assumption as he carefully reached for Juliet's right wrist picking it up once again. He looped the leather strap around it, then shot a look to Sawyer.

"Not what you thought? Was it?" He spat questioningly at Sawyer. Sawyer's eyes stayed glued to Juliet. Bill turned his focus back to Juliet as he locked his hand around her wrist and pulled her upright then slid off of her legs.

"It's just for now- I promise." He said softly to her. Juliet nodded obediently or... out of shock, she wasn't quite sure which.  Sawyer was floored- The guy was seriously crazy. He was flipping between cool and polite to heated and violent from one moment to the next. Sawyer also knew he had to shut his face because he could see now that if Juliet was going to get hurt it was going to be because of him.

Juliet closed her eyes with a jerk as she felt the strap tighten. She couldn't lie- she'd thought the same as James. That things might have taken a very personal turn for the worse. Juliet took a deliberate breath then willingly lifted her left wrist, holding it out to Bill like an offering. She needed to gain his trust. Bill's eyebrow twitched as he took it and strapped it together with her right. Bill moved to a crouched position beside her and patted the carpet against the side of James's armchair- gesturing for her to move there.

"I have a few things to grab before we go" He said calmly as he glanced at the clock.

Sawyer watched in wonderment as Juliet took Bill's hand carefully intertwining her fingers with his as he shifted her over a few feet so that she could lean back. Bill folded her legs in like she were a doll- so that Juliet was sitting cross-legged, then he smiled at her. Sawyer's stomach did a flip flop. Juliet's crystal blue eyes followed Bill's every move as she obeyed. Bill tucked her hair behind her ears then stood up and looked at Sawyer. Clearly he was unsure if it was worth trying to tie his legs right now.

"What are you going to do with us?" Juliet asked quietly when she noticed him focusing too long on James.

"We... are going on a field trip. Someplace safe." Bill said sincerely, his mind was somewhere else. He picked up the sash from the floor and placed it in the kitchen. Bill leaned against the counter and they all sat in silence for what felt like forever but in actuality was only 10 minutes. He quietly started talking without making eye contact with either of them.

"I never meant what happened outside the fence that day...or... at the Motor Pool. I... get angry and I sometimes get... confused. Things have been..." He stopped talking then released a huge sigh as his hand went up into his dark hair. He rolled his neck then looked at Sawyer, who was looking at Juliet over his mention of _outside the fence_. Juliet sensed that Bill was irritated by the thought of having to take James with to wherever they were going that or he was reconsidering it. 

Bill checked at the clock again then collected the backpack from the table, taking out the camera and setting the knife out to start a pile of inventory. Juliet flashed a look of confusion at James over the camera and he returned it with " _You ain't gunna like it_ " expression. Bill moved through the kitchen - tossing in a few pieces of fruit and other food items to his pile as he went through the cupboards. He paused briefly then picked up Amy's bottle of Quaaludes which was still on the counter. His eyes darted to Juliet. Sawyer's eyes closed knowing the guy had been a medic and probably knew exactly what those were used for. Sawyer let out a heavy sigh if not a full blown groan.

"Trouble sleeping Jules?" Bill asked as he moved around the kitchen table addressing Juliet. Juliet looked away from him, staring instead at the wall as a series of thoughts rapidly ran through her mind.

"Explains the other night." He continued.

Sawyer was now the one looking at Juliet with a distinct look of confusion. Juliet's expression flinched back to him. She'd only just remembered part of the other night and that it wasn't a dream. Why didn't he just take her when he had the chance? Juliet took a deep breath, the distance Bill had physically put between them had allowed her to find her voice again.

"Why'd you come back? You want me? You don't need _him_." She said gesturing to James with a raise of her chin, her eyes moving up to meet Bill's as he popped the top off and dumped the last 3 pills into his palm to count them. He stared at Sawyer in contemplation then moved back to Juliet and squatted down into her space.

"I _do_ need LaFleur- to make this all work. He's what the smoke wants Jules. I know it. It came to me. It offered me a deal" Juliet looked at him and shook her head, not understanding.

"It says it can protect us - from _them_." Bill said in a more irritated tone as his right finger moved in to brush the scar along Juliet's collarbone left by Charles Widmore. Juliet watched his green eyes twitch, his pupils dilating. She'd never seen him this out of control.

"Bill, look at me..." Juliet said soothingly her brows angled sympathetically.  
"You can't trust it. It's too dangerous. You... you can turn yourself in. End all of this now before more people get hurt. Horace would help you... You'd be safe here."

Bill's expression darkened.

"Safe?! Horace had me drugged, thrown in a padded room and hooked up to a Goddamm torture reel! I may as well have just stayed in Vietnam, Juliet! The only reason I made it out and I'm not a flippin' vegetable right now is because _IT_ set me free."

Juliet flinched then looked to James. Clearly Bill remembered Room 23 more than they'd all hoped. James's eyes narrowed and were following Bill. Juliet quickly shot him a pleading look silently asking him not to do anything stupid. He blinked at her and gave her a slow nod in understanding, yet a twinkle of defiance was just below the surface.

"How much you weigh LaFleur?" Bill said over his shoulder, without looking as he held out the pills with a smile, knowing that Sawyer couldn't answer.  Juliet's breath hitched.

"Bill, no." Juliet said rocking forward to reach for the bottle, her face changing into one of serious insistence. Sawyer looked at Juliet, confused by her tone change. She was challenging Billy Boy. Why? She'd taken them pills, why couldn't he? Bill looked at her curiously, pulled out her her reach then dropped 2 pills back in the bottle.

"Says Take 1. Do not mix with alcohol. Juliet thinks we should save em for later big guy, since you've had a few "alcohols" tonight." Bill continued as he moved back to the kitchen and pulled out a glass, filling it with water. He tossed the bottle into the backpack and took a sip of the water then held it up in a "salute" manner as he gauged his next move, rolling the pill between his thumb and middle finger.

Juliet's chest clenched. Her eyebrows furrowed as her nostrils began to open wider as she uncrossed her legs, bending her knees to her chest.

"You'll kill him." Juliet stated with certainty through a slightly locked jaw. Sawyer could see Juliet about to go over the edge,  a silent rage bubbling just below her surface. It was that part of Juliet that scared all of them. Her words made him nervous enough to press his back off of  the wall and jockey to his knees.

Bill took 3 long strides over to Sawyer and violently yanked the bandanna from his mouth.

"Ah..You Sonofa..." Sawyer started as Bill wretched Sawyer's head back and dropped the pill in his open mouth shoving him off balance and backwards onto his haunches. Before Sawyer could close his lips to spit the tiny pill out -Bill dumped the water over Sawyer's face, making him keep his mouth open to breathe but also allowing water in. Bill threw the glass aside and slammed Sawyer's chin downward into his chest-effectively closing his mouth and eliciting no other choice but to trigger his swallow reflex.

Juliet's voice pitched instantly becoming much louder as she used her elbows to thrust herself forward off of the chair arm and to her feet. She wasn't thinking anymore. Bill took notice of Juliet and sent a fist into Sawyer's face- dropping his head back to the floor before he turned towards her. His brow narrowed.

"No-Stop!" Juliet said as she rushed in, heading for James's side. She was intercepted by Bill who easily spun her back into his chest.

"It's just one. He'll be okay- I think. How much did ya drink bud?" Bill said to Sawyer's crumpled form with a shrug as held Juliet in place and looked over his shoulder at Sawyer who was flexing his jaw.

"You son of a bitch" Juliet snarled darkly as Bill arched her off of her feet and drug her back across the room. Juliet watched James in a panic- she was beginning to hyperventilate.

"You've been hanging out with LaFleur for too long" Bill groaned in reference to Juliet's use of language as Juliet kicked back into his thigh hard. He bent them both over and tightened his hold, immobilizing her completely

"Don't you get it!? You can't save him! And only I can save you! This hothead is only gunna get us all killed." Bill growled.

"Let her go, Cowboy." Sawyer said as he spat the blood from his mouth. Bill turned with a glint in his eye, it was as though he was enjoying this sweet little bit of revenge.  Sawyer moved to his knees then staggered up to his feet. His hands were still bound behind his back. He lowered his head and raised his eyes as his hair fell forward and his expression turned to one of true rage.

Bill sighed and shook his head.

"I really wish you wouldn't have done that... How long do those pills take to kick in Jules? 20 minutes? Here I was hoping we could all just sit here together, enjoy each others company and watch the clock. See, I need you to be manageable by shift change, and let's face it LaFleur- you are a beast. But, I guess if you insist. We can try it your way. Juliet? You okay if I talk to LaFleur for just a second sweetheart? You don't mind right?"

Bill ranted like a madman then turned suddenly- shoving Juliet hard over the arm of Sawyer's chair with full force. Juliet let out a surprised sound somewhere between a gasp and a whimper as she was flung forward unable to catch herself- her head smacked into the floor as she felt the wind get knocked out of her. Bill lunged for the knife on the kitchen counter and moved around the table towards Sawyer.

"Look what you made me do! You shoulda stayed where I left you!"

Sawyer's face pinched in panic as he saw Juliet go down.

"Juliet?!" 

Juliet was temporarily stunned and made no sound.

Bill moved in towards Sawyer as Sawyer backed down the hall trying to anticipate his first move. Bill flipped the knife in his fist and swung overhand towards Sawyer's head. Sawyer ducked as the blade made contact the wall behind him with an angry thump before it dropped to the floor. He countered by bringing a foot up which solidly connected with Bill's chest successfully sending him backwards into the wall. Sawyer's nostrils flared as he moved to bend down for the knife. Just as his fingers touched the wood of it's handle, Bill's knee smashed into the side of his head effectively sending his head careening through the door frame and into the bathroom counter. Bill crouched down and reached for the knife, his chest heaving- when he felt an energy rushing him from behind.

"No!" Juliet yelled as she launched herself at Bill's back swooping her belt bound wrists over Bill's head and around his neck, yanking the constraints tightly.

"James?!" Juliet called out in desperation as Bill stood up and spun her off her feet. James wasn't moving. Juliet held her choke on Bill as tightly as she could but realized quickly that she didn't have the leverage- her grip was slipping. Bill gasped and rammed Juliet's back square into the wall opposite the bathroom with angry force.  Juliet cried out and slid limply to the side of Bill's shoulder as he turned and pulled her arms up- successfully ducking out of her hold, gasping for air. Juliet dropped to the floor in a heap.

"Jeezus! Stop it! He isn't worth it! Why won't you listen? I'm doing this for you - for us!"

Bill glanced over his shoulder at an unconscious Sawyer slumped against the bathroom tile behind them then dropped down in front of Juliet's crumpled form and shoved her shoulder's upright into the wall- her head lolled then raised slowly. Her lip was bleeding and her face had instantly paled. Bill gave her a look of confusion. He followed her gaze down her leg.  Bill's eyes grew wide at the sight of the steak knife half-embedded in the top of Juliet's upper right thigh. 

.....


	49. Chapter 49

Juliet's breathing shallowed- a thin sheen of sweat instantly covered her. Her eyes locked on the knife in her thigh. Her left leg was bent at the knee with her ankle tucked awkwardly under her right. Her right leg was straight out in front of her.

Bill stared at it for only a second before his hand moved from Juliet's shoulder down to her bound hands- which lay limply against her left hip as his other grasped her chin redirecting her eyes to him to assess her pupils. His expression was one of sheer shock. He let go and moved her bound hands to her right thigh.

"Put pressure around it. Here.  Juliet!?" He commanded as he pressed her fingers down around the knife.

Juliet blinked slowly keeping eye contact with him in an eerily calm manner. She arched an eyebrow at him-as if to ask "why bother?". 

"DO it!" He yelled. Juliet flinched ever so slightly and obeyed - holding pressure around the metal blade stoically. Bill pushed off the wall on either side of her-leaving two bloody hand prints in his wake. He stood up, quickly removed his black t-shirt and dropped back down.

"Damnitt! Damnitt, damnitt!"

Bill's words echoed through Juliet's ears like a tunnel lay between them as he took responsibility for the fact that he had inadvertently stabbed her when they hit the wall. Her focus had shifted and she was staring past Bill listlessly at James watching his body rise and fall in unconsciousness. Bill moved Juliet's hands aside and clutched at the blood pooling around the knife. A dark red stain was spreading across the fabric of her jeans like a glass of spilled red wine. Juliet blinked heavily trying to maintain her breathing as she was beginning to feel a cold burning sensation strengthening in her leg. The initial shock was wearing off.  Bill frantically wadded his shirt around the knife in her thigh moved to his knees, looking around their surroundings. Juliet idly stared at his chest then made eye contact with him again and let out an amused sound like a light laugh mixed with a cry. Bills face dropped.

"I just wanted to go home." She whispered honestly to him as her head tipped back to rest against the wall. Her eyes gently closed. That was end all truth and reasoning behind everything she'd done since she arrived on this damn island over 4 years ago.

"Juliet? You're not gunna die. Stay with me. Jeeezus Christ!" Bill leaned in and looped her bound wrists back around his neck, scooping her up, her head fell back momentarily, snapping forward as she realized he was setting her on her bed. Juliet leaned forward in an attempt to get her arms back as he carefully set her down, scooting her in so as not to disrupt the knife any further. Juliet winced as her thigh muscle involuntarily flexed. Bill grabbed the pillow out from under her head and moved it up under her leg instead. The room was still dark, the only light coming from the hallway.

"Stay here. Please. Just trust me for once." 

Juliet was starting shake as the throbbing pain became more piercing. As soon as Bill stepped away, Juliet pushed off her elbow. Her vision felt fuzzy but she managed shift upright. She let out an angry cry at the movement she accidentally caused in her wounded leg trying to get a look at what kind of damage had been done. Bill doubled back from the door, furiously.

"Stop! You're gunna make it worse!" He shouted continuing his commanding tone as Juliet watched him glance to James and back again. He growled as he crossed the room-his palms met her chest and pushed her back down flat- leaning his bare chested body over her stomach and ribs at an angle- effectively pinning her to the bed.  Tears were now openly streaking down Juliet's face and back into her hair as she struggled -her good leg kicked uselessly beneath them. She felt the heat from his body seeping down over her. Bill held her still until she stopped.  Juliet didn't last long before she began to blink heavily trying desperately to stave off the nauseous feeling that was attempting to overtake her.

"You have to let me go... Please..." Juliet whispered through staggered breaths, panic gripping her voice.

"Shhh. Shhh. It's gunna be alright." He pulled back enough to take hold of her bound wrists which had been trapped between them and started un-looping the leather. Juliet thought for a moment he might take her to the medical station, that this all might be over soon. Instead, he pulled her wrists above her head and refastened the belt securely through the wooden diamond frame that the headboard was made of. Juliet lost it.

"No.no.no... Bill... please... Don't do this.. please... You have to let me.." Juliet pleaded again as she began hyperventilating at the idea that she would die this way, unable to attend to her own wounds. It was as though the old Juliet was back and she was in full force. She was a mess with no hope in sight. Once Juliet was confined to the center of the bed, Bill pulled off of her and stood next to the bedside table. He leaned across her and checked her leg as best he could in what little light came into the room then sighed at her pleadingly.

"It's okay. Try not to move... I know- I'm sorry! I'll be back for you."

He dropped his hand to brush her hair from her face, wiping away the tears-then moved with determination down the hall, stepping over James to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. Juliet held her breath this time and slowly, painfully bent her leg upright to keep the blade raised above her heart. She heard him rifling through everything and arched her neck forward to try and see how bad the damage was. Bill's black t-shirt made it impossible to see if her leg was still bleeding. She was pretty sure the knife was helping stem the flow. She released a ragged breath of frustration.  From her angle she was guessing... and hoping that since she wasn't dead already that he'd missed her femoral artery. Her blue eyes searched her surroundings - stopping on the black phone beside her bed. Juliet closed her eyes and silently cursed the rotary era. She couldn't reach it- even if she did- she couldn't dial the damn thing, she'd only end up sending it to the floor. Bill came out of the bathroom dragging James. Juliet heard Bill grunt heavily as he tugged James back down the hall to the living room.

Bill appeared back in the doorway once again and Juliet swore she let out a sigh of relief. Maybe he was back to release her. He squinted at her curiously as he finally flipped on the light and moved in on her bent leg. He was carrying an armful of first aid supplies. Juliet's nostrils opened as her eyes grew wide. Clearly, he had some medical expertise because he knew well enough to leave the knife in her leg -but the look on his face now implied that he intended to remove it.

"Bill, no- you can't." Juliet said as she tried to pull herself further up towards the head of the bed.

 _"_ Combat medic, Sargent. 9th Medical Battalion, Infantry Division, Vietnam."

He flatly stated his credentials before climbing on James's side of the bed and moving over next to Juliet's right thigh. He set down a bottle of rubbing alcohol and piled up a stack of bandages. His eyes locked on hers. Juliet's mouth cringed pleadingly as her eyes darted around. Tears of fear rolled down the back of her throat and nose forcing her to sob in order to get air. Bill's muscles flexed tensely as he moved to his knees. He reached over and delicately removed the black shirt. Juliet's gaze stared into the hall as she tried to regain control of herself. It was quiet and she didn't hear James.

"He's still out. He's probably feeling no pain right now- so let's take care of you, while we have time."

Juliet  watched Bill examine her bent leg then slowly slide it back down flat. Juliet's lower lip quivered and she involuntarily whimper at the pain shift, clinging tightly to her bindings and tucking her face into her stretched arm. Bill shot her an apologetic look. He picked up a pair of scissors and got back on task.  Starting at Juliet's ankle- he began cutting the fabric of her jeans away from her skin- He held her leg gently as the cut continued over her knee and up to the hole that had been created by the knife itself- still lodged half-way into her upper thigh less than 4 or 5 inches from where her hip and leg bent. Juliet looked down and sighed in relief as she was finally able to get a glimpse of her injury. It was outside the femoral triangle. Bill looked at her suspiciously.

"Very little blood, that's good. Looks like it's in the anterior region- though... you already knew that, didn't you?." He stated. Juliet dropped her head back , her eyes met the ceiling and she didn't answer. Bill ran his fingers further up under Juliet's pants until his fingers touched her panty line then he looked at her and swallowed. She closed her eyes knowing he needed more room as was asking permission-she nodded her breaths fall heavily from her mouth as he snipped the last 5 inches away and averted his eyes in an almost gentlemen like manner. He set the scissors down and addressed her as clinically as he could.

"I've seen worse. I think I can get it out. It's in maybe 2 inches" He said then he lifted up James's bandanna showing to Juliet briefly before leaning in and slipping it over Juliet's head to tighten it. Juliet let out a sob of unwillingness, a new wave of tears claimed her over the fact that she was being gagged.

"I'm ...You're gunna wanna bite down on this." He said, as if she really had a choice. Her eyebrows angled as she locked her fingers tightly around the leather straps trying to grip the wood on the frame behind herself as her arms tingled over her head.

Bill moved quickly and pressed one of his knees just above Juliet's and the other in the dent below her hip bone. He uncapped the bottle of alcohol and poured it in it's entirety over the knife. Juliet began to shake hard as she threw her head back and clenched her eyes at the flaming pain of the unforgiving liquid running over her flesh combined with the sensation of the cool blade slowly being retracted from her thigh.

Juliet let out a guttural, animal like scream, all the muscles in her body flexed and jerked as an stronger icy searing pain shot up her leg. Her left leg kicked and dug desperately into the mattress instinctively seeking to free her.

"Good, Jules... It's out..." She heard Bill's voice say as though he were muffle in the distance.

Juliet's blood pumped loudly in her ears as she battled her senses.  As soon as she opened her eyes, the room began spinning and a familiar clammy sensation began quickly tunneling in on her. _"No no! Juliet! Don't you pass out!"_ She screamed in her head as Bill moved off of her leg and she felt a dry pressure being applied to her thigh. Her head lolled to her arm for support but she couldn't hold it there. Bill's form slowly faded out of focus like she was going underwater and then, darkness.

 

........

_Sawyer sighed and stretched his legs with a satisfied moan. He rolled up to a seated position on the couch. Was it morning already? The light shined invitingly warm across the room.  He felt amazingly- light and loose, like he could do anything. He couldn't remember the last time he'd slept so well. He looked up to find a tall, dark haired man pulling a shirt over his head, standing in the kitchen._

_"Jack? The hell you doin' here? Sawyer slurred- his dimples twinkling. He had a surprised tone he pushed forward and shook his head in disbelief. Jack didn't say anything, but Sawyer was pretty sure he smiled._

_Jack walked over to him and patted his shoulder.  
_

_"Yeh, good to see you too, pal."_

_"Well I'll be damned. How the hell are ya? Where's everyone else?"  
_

_"Everyone else? Oh, they're waiting for us at The Temple."_  
_"The Huh? Ain't that in dark territory? Seems like it's kinda out of our way don't it?"_

_"Dunno, I'm just here to get you." Jack said as he helped Sawyer to his feet.  
_

_Sawyer squinted and slowly spun around in the room- like he was missing something, He closed his eyes as took a few steps then leaned against the back of the chair._

_"Rough night?" Jack inquired with a grin as he steadied Sawyer from swaying on his feet._

_"Huh? Yeh... I guess it musta been. I feel like I'm forgettin' somethin'"  Sawyer turned to head down the hall and Jack halted him._

_"Whatever it is, you won't need it after today." Jack replied._

_"Yeh, guess yer right. It's just... my head it feels kinda funny, ya know? Like my words are coming out of my mouth in slow motion. That make sense?" Sawyer said smiling at his old rival and friend... and not really caring if it did._

_Jack picked up a set of keys from the floor and opened the front door, he paused when he realized Sawyer wasn't following him._

_"I think... I can help with that before we go." Jack replied as he moved to the table and pulled a bottle of pills from a backpack that was tossed there. He hesitated briefly then took one pill out and showed it to Sawyer._

_"For your head" He stated._

_"Pfft. Ya always did have the best stash in camp." Sawyer laughed as Jack popped the pill in Sawyer's mouth and he whipped his head back, swallowing it dry. His face soured at the taste as he nodded in thanks giving Jack a charming squint.  
_

_"Well Doc, I never thought I'd say this- but I think I love ya - I know I'm happy as hell to see ya! So-when we goin?"_

_Jack nodded with a light laugh and grabbed the backpack off the table._

_"Let's go"_

_Sawyer swaggered out the door behind him, his shoulder catching the screen door in the dark. He only stepped a few feet when he realized it was night and it had just been day. His brow furrowed.  
_

_"Something wrong?" Jack asked suspiciously as Sawyer took a step backward, clearly dizzy. His eyes darting around as if the answers to the questions he didn't know to ask were laying in the grass somewhere._

_"Juliet...Where's Juliet?" Sawyer slurred._

_"Uh..She's already in the van, it's parked just around the side of the house. Let's go bud." Jack said  taking hold of Sawyer's elbow._

_Sawyer pulled back- he attempted to raise his hand and push Jack off but couldn't. He looked down and found that his arms where tied behind his back. His head raised slowly as his mood took an immediate downward turn.  
_

_"The hell you tryin' to pull Jack? Where's Miles? Jin? I ain't goin' no where without em. You got n..no idea what we been through here! You better take these damn ropes off."  
_

_"Afraid I can't do that" Jack replied irritated as he roughly grabbed Sawyer's forearm and began to pull him towards the porch step. Across the courtyard a screen door slammed in the darkness. The music from the party was gone but there were voices in the distance. Jack looked out in a panic and quickly changed his mind. He turned and shoved a stumbling Sawyer back inside, closing the door as quietly as he could manage before releasing him and moving to the curtain to peek out._

_Sawyer's gaze wavered drunkenly down the hall towards the bedroom. There was a dark stain on the floor and 2 distinct red hand prints low on the wall across from the bathroom. The bedroom door was closed. It was never closed. He made a sideways glance at Jack, who wasn't watching him then shot down the hall.  
_

_"Hey!?" Jack called as he dropped his bag and started after Sawyer just as Sawyer turned his back and opened the bedroom door behind him.  
_

_"She ain't gone is she?! Juliet?!"_

_"You don't wanna do that LaFleur!"  
_

_Sawyer's eyes widened. "LaFleur?"_

_"Sonofabish" He growled as Jack shoved him  and he fell through the open door behind him into the dark bedroom._

_Sawyer clumsily shifted backwards until his back met the wall near the closet, then he tried to used it to stand up but slumped solidly back to the floor. He blinked his eyes hard and shook his head but his equilibrium was severely off. When he opened his eyes he looked up as Jack's features melted away and he found himself staring at Bill instead._

_....._

 


	50. Chapter 50

"You ain't Jack. The hell you do ta me?" Sawyer growled, angry at his own casual tone and lack of coordination.

"It's a muscle relaxer. You might feel a bit choppy, or numb.  I gotta say-You're doing better than I thought you would. I even kinda like this gentler version of you LaFleur."  
Sawyer's brow furrowed deeply and he rolled his head along the wall willing his eyes to stay open. A sudden jerking motion and muffled pained sound caught his attention from the bed.

Bill shut the door then moved to the far side of the bed flipping on the lamp on his side of the bed. Sawyer's eyes clenched as his eyes adjusted to the dim room- He thought he saw her. Juliet. Her wrists were attached to the headboard. Bill was immediately at her side and Sawyer could hear Juliet breathing hard. He had no idea what he had missed or how they'd gotten in here. The last thing he remembered was that he was about to be... stabbed. His head heavily rolled and he glanced down at himself. _No blood._ But... there was blood, in the hall- he'd seen it, hadn't he?

"Hey, Hey... What you doin!?" He repeated trying to get a reaction from the form on the bed as he tested his wrists that were still locked behind his back.

Sawyer thought he had frustratingly screamed her name but it instead came out as an ill sounding whisper. His limbs were heavy and he couldn't make himself move.

"Juliet?"

Juliet had jolted up then dropped back flat, heaving as she searched her surroundings- she heard James call her. He was here- in their room. He was awake.  At the sound of his voice- Juliet tried to push herself back and move her body up higher against the bed frame but her arms wouldn't allow it. They were numbly hanging above her. Her hands were throbbing from choked circulation. She lightened the weight on them momentarily allowing for blood to rush through to her fingers. Juliet had a sheet covering her lower body and her right side was raised up and resting in a cold dampness. The smell of rubbing alcohol still permeated the room and the pain in her leg washed through her in piercing waves. The weight on the bed shifted and Bill climbed across it-his hands landed just above her injury against the soft space just below her hip bone. His fingers were warm against her burning flesh yet a solid chill still shot straight through her body. He pulled back the sheet and checked her leg, allowing her to look before pressing her shoulder back down. Her leg was swollen and a decent purple color had formed at the edge of the bandages that were wrapped around her thigh. Bill shifted the pillows under her leg higher and that was the moment when Juliet realized she no longer had her shoes or jeans on at all anymore. She protectively pulled her uninjured leg in close as her nostrils flared and her eyes met Bill's. From the wall she could hear James mumbling, his words weren't making sense anymore. He was getting worse. Bill pulled the sheet back up, purposely reaching over her to tuck in tightly. He dragged his body across her stomach then pulled back off of James's side before moving around to hers. He shuffled through some items in the closet as he spoke. He could feel Juliet's anger but wasn't phased.

"It was easier to just take em off while you were out instead of waiting until the swelling was worse. We'll keep the bandages clean and the island will do the rest." Bill stated unapologetic-ally. Juliet just bore her stare into him- she was still gagged and the corners of her mouth felt raw and torn from the bandanna. Her eyebrow twitched skeptically- she knew the island had no love for her anymore.

"It's almost time to go. We leave just before sunrise-because no one will be paying attention. No one noticed the van yet-so at least we won't have to walk. Someday they'll learn not to leave the keys in the visors." Bill said looking back at Juliet's with a humorous smile. Her gaze had shifted to the wall where James was. She was focusing on his listening to his haggard breathing, it had slowed quite a bit. Out of no where James's voice cut in.

"Looks like you thought of everything. Only one little problem." Sawyer slurred. Bill turned in amusement at Sawyer's attempt to communicate.

"Yeh? What's that LaFleur? The fact that you should be napping like a good boy and you aren't?" Bill smirked.

"Naw- though now that ya mention it... I am kinda sleepy." Sawyer returned sarcastically- in his best attempt to not drop to the floor and heed the Bill's words.

"Even if you do hand me o'er to yer buddy Ol' Smokey and... it don't kill _all_ of us... She ain't yers. She ain't nobody's. Hell-she'll... kill you in yer sleep, Cowboy." Sawyer blurbed as a twinkled flashed briefly up into his dimples then faded.  
"Ha! Yeh? We'll see about that. So... Which would you prefer? This is nice." Bill said to Sawyer then held out the white dress Amy had given Juliet on her first day here. Juliet averted her eyes.

"You... dun lost yer mind... Casanova." Sawyer continued- clearly trying to rattle Bill and keep himself awake. Bill ignored him and went on talking to Juliet as though they were planning a weekend vacation.

"Yeh, not really good for camping, you're right. We'll have to stay safe at The Temple until the sub comes in, then we get on it and we're home free, Jules. That is what you said you wanted right? To go home?" Bill asked as he grabbed a pair of Juliet's sleeping shorts from the shelf instead. Juliet's expression pinched as Bill looked back at Sawyer with a huff - clearly no longer concerned with him as a threat, then Bill opened the door wide and made his way back to the living room to retrieve the backpack and peek out the window. He was watching through the front curtain impatiently, eyes darting between the bedroom and the wall clock. 

Once he was out of the room Juliet looked up at her bound wrists- attempting to loosen just one side by using her good leg to push herself higher. She let out a series of pained whimpers and frustrated sighs. 

Sawyer grunted and tried again to push himself up as he refocused on Juliet. His legs kept bending up and thumping back to the floor, his leg muscles completely useless. Through the blurred haze where he sat- he could really only make out her form, her blonde hair. Sawyer shook his head trying to piece things together. He had no idea what had happened while he was in "la la land".

"Sonofabish." He shook his head at himself- looking up at Juliet with a terrible guilt ridden expression.

"You ok?" He whispered in a slur -once he realized they were alone.

Juliet grasped onto her bindings and pulled her body backwards and upward with a pained breath to rest her head against the headboard so she could see James leaning against the wall. When he saw her face come into focus his expression dropped. She was beyond pale and clearly hurting. She was wearing his gag. Dry tears were streaked down her cheeks. Her scoop neck T-shirt was bloodstained. _Her blood._ He thought. Sawyer's mind began to wake up steadily as he watched her- his heart thumping loudly once again. Adrenaline covering his face in heated sweat. A second wind filled his sails.

Sawyer looked down the hall towards Bill as he started back towards them. He stopped in the bathroom- gathering up more supplies before tossing the backpack against the hallway wall. A cupboard slammed and the sound suddenly hit Sawyer like a Mack truck. His eyes grew wide. He looked sharply back at Juliet. She froze-her expression suddenly questioning. Sawyer looked at the bedside table intently then back at Juliet. Her eyes followed his and she stared into space for a moment. James cleared his throat to get her attention back then tipped his head again towards the drawer. Thank the Gods he took the minute to load it earlier. Juliet read his face and nodded once. Her breathing shallowed as she understood his gesture. Bill returned and Sawyer slumped against the wall trying to look like he was out of it. He stared at the floor watching Bill in his peripheral vision. Juliet let out a sound of worried acknowledgement at his condition. She didn't know if it was real. Bill slid up beside to Juliet and began tucking the sheet tightly back in around her lower body. Juliet cried out through the bandanna as Bill shifted her body closer to the edge of the bed. Sawyer's voice pierced the room.

"Don't! The hell you do to her!?" Sawyer snapped demanding an answer and trying to draw Bill's gaze from Juliet as his head lolled uncontrollably forward then slammed back into the wall with a heavy thud.

Bill turned with a grin then shook his head.

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"I'm gunna kill you." Sawyer spat through clenched teeth, blinking hard as he tried to shake the feeling of nausea. 

"Yeh yeh, Okay LaFleur... C'mon, time to go." Bill said as he leaned over Juliet and once again began unbinding her wrists.

Juliet stared at James over Bill's shoulder then her eyes darted back to the drawer of the bedside table. She silently questioned again-trying to make sure she was reading him right. Sawyer blinked hard and gave her a slow "affirmative" nod and started silently dragging himself along the wall to get closer. Bill untied Juliet's left hand then moved to release the other which was still dangling awkwardly from the bed.  Juliet was able to push semi-upright and Bill paused, his face inches from hers- he looked back towards Sawyer and stopped. Juliet's heart dropped as saw his look change. It was _that look_. This was his revenge. Touching her in front of him. Bill moved in and pulled the gag from Juliet's mouth. She gasped at the release. Her lips were swollen but she didn't have time to react before Bill hooked her jaw tightly in like a caught fish and kissed her hard. Again. Juliet's free hand smacked against the headboard behind her then moved in to push at Bill's neck. She let out a sobbing cry from the pain in her leg as she tried to kick the sheet free. Bill didn't try to grab Juliet's hand from his throat,  instead his fingers cupped the side of her breast roughly.  That was enough for Sawyer. He roared. Suddenly invigorated- he pushed to his knees and launched himself from the wall forward into Bill's back. Bill turned and broke off of Juliet, and the two men rolled to the floor. Sawyer flipped to his back, bent his knees and donkey kicked Bill  thrusting him into the closet and momentarily knocking the wind out of him. Sawyer shifted up next to the bedside table and started opening the drawer with hands still tied behind his back. He was sloppy and wobbling severely in an attempt to keep himself upright. Bill pushed up to his feet furiously and reached over, oblivious to Sawyer's true intent. He grabbed Sawyer from his kneeling position, dragging him by his elbow until he collapsed onto his side then Bill switched to his legs, spun him and started yanking him towards the door.

"You just don't know how badly I want to kill you, do you? I am crazy after all... Hell- someone would probably thank me for ending you!" Bill growled as he cranked the door into Sawyer's head. Sawyer let out a pained grunt. His face was red and he looked up and back at Juliet as he was being pulled away.

"DO it" He snarled at Bill- while actually talking to Juliet.

As soon as the men hit the floor Juliet had tried and been unable to reach the drawer. She was frantically trying with her left hand to free her right- As soon as Bill got back up she realized she didn't have time and started stretching her arm out- painfully wrenching against the bed frame, inch by inch- her fingers crept further. She bit back a scream from the feel of her her flesh tearing against her bound wrist. She heard the pained grunts of James as he was pulled across the floor and again as Bill's foot kicked into his ribs after he flung the door into James. Her bound wrist suddenly slipped free and she was flung off the side of the bed by her own force- landing heavily in front of the bed side table. The sheet was still wound around her torso and legs. Her fingers blindly reached above her into the drawer and looped through the trigger of the cold metal pistol. She swiftly pulled it out and painfully tucked her knees up to her chest, resting the dead weight of her arms on her knees as she aimed at the standing figure silhouetted in the light of the hallway. Bill was dragging Sawyer back into the hall by his feet. Bill's eyes narrowed and he froze, dropping James's legs - looking at Juliet just in time to see the barrel of the gun raise lining up with his chest from across the room. Juliet didn't think, she didn't speak, she fired.

Bill dropped to his knees glancing down at the hole in his chest. He gurgled in shock and reached towards her.  Bill's head fell forward as his torso melted to the hall floor in a heap. Sawyer dropped his head to the floor and breathed. He was on his back, rolling to his side as the shot went off and Bill collapsed motionless against the wall near his feet.

The world went silent. Sawyer wasn't sure how long they sat there frozen before he looked back at her.

"You okay?" James's slurred voice asked through the muffled high pitch ringing tone in her ears. She was staring at Bill's body, watching, waiting. 

"Juliet?"

Her blue eyes slowly retrained onto James - as he lay on the floor near Bill.

"He ain't movin'... It's over, Baby." He continued as he retracted his legs away from the crumpled body of their captor. He paused to make sure she didn't fire again. The look in her eyes was completely foreign to him.

Juliet's mouth twitched and she gave a tiny nod. She went into a trance, looked at the gun as though she were having a conversation with it then took her finger off the trigger, she crossed her arm over her lap to carefully set the pistol on other side of her- out of the way. Her limbs started shaking hard as she untangled her legs from the sheet and began to crawl towards James. Blood was trickling down from her torn flesh at her wrist and thigh but she felt nothing. Her body sinking to another state of shock.

Sawyer sighed in relief when she set the pistol down then grunted heavily as he pushed to his knees. He wavered and blinked hard at Juliet like he was having trouble seeing then he suddenly fell forward onto his shoulder.

"James?!" She choked out as she reached him.

Juliet's eyes grew wide in a panic as she watched James's body curl up.  She rolled James over and cradled his head, checking his pupils. His eyes had rolled back and he was dry retching. She needed help. She turned him to his side in case he vomited then her eyes darted around the room and landed on the phone once again. She set James's head gently on the floor and slid backwards - grasping the phone and dropping it to the floor beside her with a jangled thump before dialing the only number she trusted.

A half asleep voice picked up the other end.

_"This... better be good."_

"Miles?! I... Help."

Juliet's voice was weak but she heard an instant loud movement on the other end of the line and knew he understood.

_"Juliet? What's happened? You okay? We're on our way."_

He didn't wait for an answer or an explanation before he hung up.

 

......


	51. Chapter 51

Juliet tipped Sawyer's head. A look of concern crossed her features as she reached to check his pulse. He was breathing steadily as the she heard the front door open and close. Juliet momentarily considered reaching back for the gun but she heard Miles's voice calling them hesitantly. She looked down at James and combed stray strands of hair from his face. He was sleeping hard but seemed stable.

"James?... James?" Juliet whispered. She gently shook his shoulder as she heard Miles get louder from down the hall.

"Holy shiiit. Jim?! Juliet!?"

"James I need you to wake up.  Can you hear me?"

Sawyer stirred slightly his scruffy face rubbing against the warm flesh of her thigh. 

"Hmm? ... So soft..." He mumbled. 

Juliet raised her fingers to her face and let out a small laugh bordering on a cry as she looked up to see both Miles and Jin frozen in the hallway- standing over Bill's body and taking in the complete visual of their surroundings.

Miles had a rifle tucked into his shoulder and let it slowly slide down to his side as his hand moved to covered his mouth.  He turned in a slow semi-circle as he cataloged their surrounding. Jin was still and silent- his eyes wide.

The smell of blood and rubbing alcohol wafted from the bedroom.

"Sawyer?" Jin whispered.

"Oh... my God. Is that Bill?" Miles echoed softly in an equally disbelieving tone. Juliet arched a brow as her mouth tightened as she stared at the slumped form.

"It was." Sawyer slurred, his eyes unwilling to open.

Jin moved first. He turned on the bedroom light adding to the soft light that had been glowing from Sawyer's bedside lamp. Jin stepped over Bill's body and pulled a small fishing knife from his belt holster. He dropped down - quickly cutting Sawyer's hands free from behind his back. Sawyer opened his eyes for an instant to see who it was then they drooped closed again.

"Uh.y..eh .. thank...y... Jinbo" Sawyer sighed in grateful relief as his hands flopped to the floor.

"You are hurt." Jin stated as he noticed the bloody bandage on Juliet's thigh. He began lifting Sawyer's torso upright from behind him to take the weight off of her. Juliet checked Sawyer's eyes- leaning in close. His blue gray eyes squinted back at her.

"Heyy, Bllllondie.  l..ove s.. much... yoU okay?"

Juliet gave him a weak smile as ran her fingers tenderly down his jaw and nodded.

"Yeh. I'm okay." She replied softly before turning her attention to Jin.

"He's had a few drinks and " _he"_ gave him sleeping pills." Juliet said, her eyes referring to Bill. She wasn't ready to use his name.

"I did? I did." Sawyer echoed.

Jin nodded in acknowledgement. Miles turned and propped his back against the wall as though he might be sick- nearly tripping over the backpack there. He leaned down and picked it up as a temporary distraction. The moment he touched it. His body lurched forward and he crouched down beside Bill. He carefully set his rifle against the far wall- distancing it from the scene.

"Uh.. I'm... " Miles stuttered - trying not to vomit from the smell and visuals that were accosting him.

"Miles. Help." Jin said as he looked towards the stunned man in the hallway. Miles was staring at Bill lying next to him- or through Bill was probably more accurate. He swallowed hard.

"I... need a sec. He's... Argh...Jeezus." Miles released the bag and blinked hard. His fingers ran down his face. His breathing suddenly became heavy.

"Miles?" Juliet said with concern as she shifted forward. Her eyes met Jin's who held a similar look.

Jin had seen this before and nodded in understanding as he moved around to Sawyer's side before heaving Sawyer's limp arm around his shoulder. 

"Easy Hulk, I can't feel.... my feet?  No wait, my arms... I can... I can.. walk. Woah... This room spinnin'?"

Jin stepped around Bill. Miles's eyes shot up and he stood, shaking his head for a moment before scooping under Sawyer's other arm once he realized they were in front of him. He made a glance at Juliet, a look of horror in his eyes before he disappeared into the bathroom.

"IS he wearin' my favorite shirt?" Sawyer slurred questioningly as they moved past Bill.

Jin leaned Sawyer over the side of the bath tub and moved to rinse a washcloth. Miles stepped back out- his face still mortified. His eyes wildly darted around the room, the hall, the bedroom, between Bill and Juliet as though he had just witnessed the entire night. Jin turned and handed him the washcloth. Then gestured to the back of Sawyer's neck and his own.

"You hold." Jin said in a solid tone. Miles moved back into the bathroom, took a seat on the closed toilet and did as he was told.

Juliet pushed up using the side of the bed and sucked in a huge breath and her eyes tightly closed. She numbly flexed her fingers and attempted to pull to her feet. She let out a pained whimper looking down at the blood that had seeped through her bandaged leg. She closed her eyes and began to shake as she looked around the room. Her eyes stopped on Jin who was back and staring at her with a look she couldn't describe. He stepped over Bill again and grabbed a blanket out of the closet.

"Sit." He said as he draped the blanket over her shoulders- not unaware that she wasn't wearing any pants. Juliet obeyed and immediately started unwinding the bandage on her leg- with shaking fingers- to see her injury. She felt his presence as he sat beside her- she paused- staring blankly at the wall where James had been.

"You had no choice. We will figure out. You and Sawyer safe. That all that matters." Jin said kindly.

Juliet looked at him with a pained expression before nodding in agreement. Her eyes darted to Bill and she slowly shook her head.

"Whatever happened happened." She whispered softly to herself as her brow arched at the irony. She'd saved Bill from James killing him but ended up killing him herself- now they'd probably all meet the same consequential fate anyways. They'd be sent off island. The game was over. Her voice cut out and she began breathing in short bursts. Her eyes instantly watered as the corner of her mouth twitched. Jin pulled her shoulder in against his chest and Juliet let him hold her for a moment.

"We be o-kay... okay. We stay together."

The two of them separated when they heard Sawyer vomiting liquid into the bath tub. Miles made a overwhelmingly disgusted sound and started dry heaving himself.

Jin looked behind them then stood up and moved around the bed to gather up the first aid supplies strewn carelessly on far side of the mattress and floor.

Juliet stared at Bill as Jin started setting medical items next to her. She gave him a look of thanks as she went back to unwrapping her leg and selecting what she needed. Jin took the white sheet from the floor and draped it over Bill's body then stopped to stare into the bathroom.

 _"Hey! C'mon dude. Just stay put, alright?"_ Miles said irritably to Sawyer in the bathroom.

 _"Naww, I'm good... I feel better already... We gotta get him outta here... we gotta... Sonofa..."_ There was a thumping sound then silence. _  
_

 "Y _eh, good job boss."_ Miles said under his breath.

"He's good." Miles stated to Jin as he turned on the bath and started rinsing it clean.

Juliet was grateful that James seemed to be expelling his poisons. At least he was talking- that was a good sign. She was finally getting a look at her leg, glad that she was able to touch it, examine it. Bill had cleaned it out properly though it was still bleeding enough to warrant stitches. The hole itself was thankfully only about an inch long but the surrounding area was bruised decently. Her wrists almost looked worse for wear than her leg at this point. Jin stepped back towards her.

"Gun?"

"No, knife." Juliet replied as she gestured to the small steak knife on James's bed side table. Jin released a sigh.

Juliet switched into medical mode and used the meager first aid supplies to tape her wound shut for now. She used James's sash from his costume to re-bandage her thigh tying it off snugly. She stood up on her good leg and Jin moved in to help her- she wavered a bit and used the door frame to limp her way past Bill and check on James. Miles shot up off the toilet seat when he saw her appear and helped her take his place. The three of them all exchanged the same look. None of them knew what to do. Their leader, as reluctant as he was, was passed out against the wall with his head resting on the edge of the bathtub.

Miles reached again for the backpack against the wall and pulled out Juliet's pajama shorts, somehow already knowing they were in there. He handed them to Juliet and she gave him a confused weak smile as she slid them up her legs and on.

"Thank you, Miles." She said sweetly before returning her gaze to James for a moment. Her fingers ran back into her hair as she twisted it behind her shoulders and out of her way. Juliet picked up the washcloth from the counter and began gently wiping the dried blood from her hands and leg. It was all she could think to do.

"We should probably call Horace." Juliet stated as she stared into space.

"Uh..UH... Don't tellem nothin'..." James said in a half stupor - his eyes still closed.

"James." Juliet stated, closing her eyes.

"Naw naw... ain't yer.... fault... I ain't lettin' them.... We don't..." He continued as his head lolled to the side and back slowly. Suddenly he pitched forward and Miles quickly moved in to bend him back to the bathtub where he instantaneously began to spew foul smelling vomit once again.

"Great! Yeh. Well? What the hell we do now? _He's_ the one with all the _plans_ and he's useless." Miles said referring to Sawyer.

"Shuttit Enos, I just need... a .. mimmut.. minute." Sawyer choked out over the side of the tub.

Suddenly there was a knock on the front door. Everyone jumped and everyone stopped breathing except Sawyer who was spitting into the bathtub.

Juliet's mouth pinched - her eyebrows angled in panic as she looked at the heap covered in the white sheet laying in the hallway.

"OhmyGod. What do we do?!" Miles said in a panic once he found his voice.

Jin bent down and rolled Bill onto the sheet then picked up the body by it's legs and dragged it into the bedroom. Juliet just froze.

"It's still dark out and the light is on- they know someone is awake." Juliet managed as she started to stand up. Miles's eyes grew wide- imagining whoever was on the other side of the door seeing Juliet in her current condition. She was a bloody mess.

A more tentative, softer knock followed. Miles spun towards it then looked back at Juliet again. A sudden and overwhelming need to protect Juliet instantly came over him and he put his hand up to stop her.

"Stay in here." Miles said as he headed out into the hall and towards the front door- looking down to straighten his clothes. He took a deep breath, looked out the curtain then turned back with a gesture for Jin to remain quiet and move out of sight. Jin stepped back into the bathroom with a nod and Miles shook his nerves out then cracked the front door open. It was Jerry, looking exceedingly nervous. Miles stuck his head in the small opening and glanced out onto the porch.

"Wuh.. What the... what time is it?" Miles blinked, in an attempt to seem like he'd fallen asleep at his friends house after the party.

"Uh Hey Miles, sorry to wake you. Is uhm LaFleur around. Some folks thought they heard a noise and.."  
Miles swallowed- he hadn't heard the gunshot himself but he admittedly slept pretty hard when he was drunk. Their row of houses was far enough away from the main area that they usually didn't hear much of anything.

"A noise? You can't be serious. You want me to wake him because you heard a noise? He's..." As Miles was trying to talk them out of this mess when suddenly, an obnoxious loud moaning, puking sound erupted from the bathroom. Miles turned his head to look back- fear rising in his face. He turned his attention back to Jerry unable to hide his unease.

"Oh... I see." Jerry said- clearing his through after hearing the retching man inside the house.

"DOn't YoU... TelleM NOthin!" Sawyer yelled from the bathroom.

Miles quickly slipped out the door and pulled it shut behind himself before whispering to Jerry.

"He's had a pretty rough night. I don't think it's a good idea to mention this... to anyone. You know how he'd feel if everyone knew he'd lost control of himself after the party right?"

It sounded good as it rolled off his tongue and the look on Jerry's face seemed sympathetic. Miles let out a breath, silently thanking Sawyer for his timing. Jerry nodded and started backing away- letting Miles catch the screen door.

"Yeh...Yeh-Sure. No, you know... the noise was probably some kids messing with leftover fireworks or something.- No problemo bud. The secret is safe with me."

"Thanks man. Have a nice weekend" Miles said raising a brow and reaffirming that they were all off work for the next few days.

"Yeh, at least it's officially Friday huh?" Jerry said trying to be cool. He glanced out towards the remains of the party and dropped off the porch in a slow backwards motion.

"Looks like Juliet must have borrowed a van huh?" Jerry said casually referring to a baby blue VW van parked halfway around the side of the house. Miles hadn't even noticed it when they had gotten there. Miles shrugged. He looked at Jerry with an expression that said _"Is this the best time to talk about this?"_ because it was all he could think of since he was sure it was Bill who brought it and he had no idea what else to do. Jerry read the look on Miles's face as one of annoyance and took it was his queue to leave.

"Right! Welp, Gunna do one more swing by the bonfire- make sure people are headed home. You know? Secure the area before I head home."

"YEh, good idea." Miles nodded, his look stoic and uninviting. He was also making a mental note that the sun would be up soon and they were running out of time to figure things out.

Miles reentered the house and closed the door- letting his head drop against it with a sigh of relief. He turned slowly and realized that this situation was going to need to be handled sooner rather than later. Jin appeared in the hall and bent down to begin cleaning the bloody hand prints off the wall. Clearly Jin felt that cleaning up was all he could do to help until Sawyer was awake. Miles fell into suit and started robotically returning the kitchen chairs, he started a pot of coffee and began collecting evidence that needed to be disposed of, dropping things into a trash bag as his mind replayed the events that Bill had showed him. It was the first time in a long time that someone had dragged him in flashes through the events leading up to their death. Of course it had to be Bill.  It was going to be a long day.

 

 

 


	52. Chapter 52

Juliet reached in and turned on the water rinsing the tub again. She sat across from James watching him sleep upright against the wall near the bathtub. They didn't have a lot of time before their choices would severely diminish. She looked out the hallway at the blood staining the carpet as she listened to Miles and Jin intensely discussing the situation in the kitchen. Miles retold what Jerry had said and confirmed that Jerry assumed James was yelling at him because he was being a belligerent drunk. Juliet looked down at her wrists, she was still idly holding a washcloth. She set it on the counter and pulled herself up, careful not to put any pressure on her leg and she turned towards the sink to face the mirror. Her hair was still behind her shoulders. She had a lump above her left eyebrow and she touched it delicately- her mouth was sore and she could feel where she'd accidentally bit her lip earlier. She picked up a hair tie and twisted her blond locks back into a sloppy bun with a sigh then turned on the faucet, averting her gaze from the woman reflecting back at her-she couldn't look herself in the eye.

......

_He had gone. Ed had gotten either too frustrated or too close to passing out to finish, his body had given up. He had picked up his boxers with an angry grunt and left. She could hear him shuffling through the kitchen then moving to the living room where he'd presumably fall asleep on the couch. Juliet slowly tucked her knees up and rolled to her side- reaching for her towel and pulling it haphazardly across her lower body as she curled up on their bed and waited until there was no sound of movement. Then she waited another minute, just in case. She wiped her drying tears with the back of her hand and carefully lifted herself from the mattress-taking the towel with her. She picked up the clothes she'd left on top of her dresser for herself before she had showered. Juliet stepped over Edmund's pile of clothes and moved back to the bathroom holding the fabrics close to her chest, more out of comfort than purpose. She felt raw- both physically and emotionally._

_She turned, making a specific effort to keep silent as she closed and locked the bathroom door then set her items on the counter. Juliet mechanically tied her hair back up on top of her head and turned the shower back on. She would assess the damages later- right now she just wanted to wash off the feel of his angry fingers that still lingered on her flesh. She needed to pack a bag and leave. Juliet rotated her sore shoulder as she stepped into the shower and her thumb moved up to press her cheekbone- it would probably bruise. She let the steaming water run down as she wrapped her arms around her torso and slowly turned in circles, her skin instantly burning red from the heat.  
_

_........_

Juliet exited the bathroom limping with help from the wall. She moved towards the living room. There was a broken kitchen chair leg lying against the wall as her gaze raised to meet Miles and Jin.  Miles leaned against the kitchen counter. Jin moved to help her and she waved him off. He complied and instead set himself down on the couch.

"There's a van parked on the side of the house." Miles said as he picked up a set of keys from the counter and showed them to her. Juliet's eyes followed and she nodded as she made her way over to James's chair and sat down with a pained breath. The three of them sat in silence for a few long moments before Miles spoke.

"So... Why are we not telling Horace?"

Miles walked around and leaned on the arm of the couch as the valid question fell from his mouth before continuing.

"It was self defense. I mean he did tie you up and threaten to drag you into the jungle. Why the hell wouldn't Jim want us to just tell them the truth?"  Juliet cleared her throat. Her initial thoughts had said the same as Miles but after consideration James was probably right. She stared at the floor as she spoke then raised her gaze calmly. She was slow and deliberate in her opinion.

"Because, Sawyer's right, it's a risk. Even under the circumstances, we... I... killed him, Miles. It's not the kind of thing Horace wants circulating in a small community like this. People won't understand. It puts us all in danger... There is no judge or jury here. It's just us. Who do you think they will side with? One of us or someone who came here on the sub with them, ate breakfast with them everyday and spent the holidays with them for the past 2 years? We're the outsiders. If we're sent off island, that's it. It's over. There's no way back."

Miles sighed and Jin swallowed hard then nodded, neither of them overlooked the fact that Juliet had just called Sawyer "Sawyer" She only did this on rare occasions to remind them that James knew how to play out situations better than they did, because of who he _was_.

"So we get rid of him? Pretend nothing happened?"

Juliet made eye contact with Miles, giving him a sympathetic expression. She felt like it was her fault they'd been dragged into this. Miles dropped over the side of the couch and sat beside Jin. He lowered his head into his hands, sighing heavily. Jin looked at Juliet and back to Miles.

"She is right. We cannot. They hide his escape, no tell he killed hostile."

"Yeh, alright. I got ya- we can't trust em." Miles echoed with a groan.

The coffee maker beeped and Jin moved to the kitchen and poured them all cups as if it were a normal morning about to begin. He handed them out and started gathering supplies and placing them on the couch next to Miles. Juliet watched Jin for a minute then stood up.

"We'll need to go before the sun comes up." Juliet said evenly as she limped with great effort to the kitchen and opened a cupboard. She took out a bottle of painkillers, taking a couple and swallowing them down with her coffee. Then she pulled out a notebook. She wrote a message- ripped it from the book then wrote another, and ripped it free of the binding as well.

"Uh. Maybe you should stay? Neither of you are exactly in the best condition for jungle travel." Miles said as he referred to Juliet's leg.

"James stays- he'll be asleep for hours. and...I'll be fine, Miles." Juliet said stoically as she moved towards the bedroom. She rifled through her closet and pulled out a clean outfit. She turned and froze at the sight of Bill's body wrapped in white bed sheets lying on the floor. Her breath stuttered as she recalled the look of surprise in his eye as she had aimed at him.

A wave of guilt washed over her. She was certain that Bill would've stopped if she'd had told him to. Her eyes darted around and the corner of her mouth tightened. The thought reminded her of the beach when she'd held Tom at gunpoint and James shot him anyways. Juliet was sure he would've surrendered. She'd known Tom. She'd known Bill. They weren't Danny. They weren't armed. They would've stopped. She released a breath as Miles's voice pulled her back to the present.

"Well, what about Jim? You really think when he wakes up that he's gunna just sit here on his hands knowing we're all out in the jungle hiding a dead body? Someone should probably stay and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. That is sorta a habit of his ya know- doing stupid stuff. And... while we're on the topic- how are you even going to put those pants on?" Miles added looking at her with brotherly skepticism.

Juliet swallowed. Jin approached as well and gave Juliet a look. Juliet knew Jin would do as she requested but she could tell he was with Miles on this. Juliet fidgeted her fingers and glanced between the two- she lowered her eyes, conceding. They were right. This was no time to be reckless. Juliet put down her things and sat on the edge of the bed with a pained breath. Her nostrils flared ever so slightly.

"Bring me the notebook please... and something to write with." Juliet asked politely. Jin left and quickly returned from the kitchen. She took the notebook from him and began drawing a map. The guys eyes followed her hand as it scribbled across the paper- standing close enough to see what she was doing.

"You need to head east. Then north. The north shore is the safest, There is less chance of running into anyone that way. Once your out of the barracks don't go west and whatever you do stay away from The Temple." Juliet was looking at Jin now. He nodded in agreement.  

"I'll grab a few shovels from the boat house." Miles said as he backed into the hall and picked up the rifle he'd set there when he arrived.

"We're all on a day trip" Juliet stated as she handed one of the torn pages from earlier over to Jin. The guys looked at her in momentary confusion. They'd just discussed her staying. Jin took the paper and flipped it over to read it- before showing it to Miles

"Put it on your front door, when you leave- I'll do the same to ours. This way we don't need to explain." Juliet said as she held her wrists up weakly gesturing at them with a glance.  
Miles nodded, he looked at Juliet with the feeling that she'd done this before. Hidden from the world when things were bad. Juliet locked onto him and attempted to flash a look that said _"It's okay"._  
He lowered his eyes with a small nod.

"Alright, I'll be back in 5 minutes." Miles said as he lifted the van keys from his pocket and headed out the door.

"I will load the van." Jin stated.

Juliet breathed out in shaky uncertainty. She wasn't a leader but she had to trust that the guys would be able to handle this out there on their own. Jin paused and put an hand out, resting it on her shoulder.

"Be okay. We come back soon."

Juliet gave a nod and Jin moved to the living room- gathering up the supplies then slipping out into the dark through screen door without a sound. Juliet's eyes moved back to Bill. She sat statue still for a few minutes as the entirety of the evening sunk in. Her eyes began to water and Juliet rolled her neck then  looked around the room again. She was a bit lightheaded and felt a flash of heat cross her skin. She knew she needed to rest, that the blood she lost had considerably weakened her. None of them had slept sans James. Juliet closed her eyes and breathed. _In... Out... In.... Out... We're gunna be alright._

Jin returned first- his eye catching the shine of the pistol on the floor. He causally moved over and picked it up- checking the chamber and retrieving the casing from the floor. Juliet watched him as he tucked the pistol in his waistband and reached over to start taking the stained pillowcases off the pillows. Juliet stood to help him remove the bottom sheet from the bed. She tried to ignore the wave of nausea but Jin didn't. He took hold of her arm to steady her and pulled up a corner then gestured to her to sit back down. Juliet obeyed. The sheet was stained with dried blood and smelled of rubbing alcohol. Jin bundled the  bloody bandages and towels into a pile. Juliet was mildly surprised how little blood had actually made it through to the mattress as she watched him clean up.

"You rest. This not work if you need medical station." Jin said responding to her frustrated sigh.

Miles entered the house, looked around for any last minute items flipped the living room light off then came down the hall.

"Think we're good to go- we need to move- while we still have cover- maybe 20 minutes til dawn and... It smells like it's gunna rain. Great day for a fishing trip." He added purposely lacking emotion.

Jin dropped the sheets from the bed to the floor and pulled Bill's body over adding the bulk to his already wrapped form. Miles moved to help, clearly hesitant to touch Bill. Jin started heaving the body up and Miles reached up to help with a knowing growl.

He no sooner touched the body then his eyes clamped shut and he fell backwards catching himself against the wall. Jin took notice and continued on without him- he shifted Bill over his shoulders and headed for the front door, which Miles had left open so that Jin could push through the screen door with no difficulty.

Juliet instantly dropped off the bed and drug herself over to sit in front of Miles reaching to touch his shoulders as he crouched against the wall.

"Miles?" She said in a gentle motherly tone, clearly concerned with how pale he'd gotten.

Miles nostrils flared. He opened his eyes- looking at the floor. Then spoke quietly.

"He would've killed him. Not you. Just him. He was going to. His mind- it's like... it was consumed by... darkness. I don't know how to explain it. It's like being fast forwarded through a virtual reality, he showed me everything... Something was very wrong with him."

"Okay Miles. It's okay. It's over. We'll talk about it later" Juliet said- her eyebrows pitted together sympathetically and her fingertips rubbed up and down lightly against his upper arms. Miles nodded then looked at Juliet- he needed to process all the things Bill had showed him. Juliet was right- now wasn't the time. He started to stand but paused.

"Uh Juliet?" He questioned- his eyes glued to her leg. Juliet looked down at the blood that was once again dripping towards the floor. Miles's eyes grew wide and he shifted up then ducked his shoulder under her arm- lifting her and helping her back to the bed.

"It's fine. You need to go." Juliet said as she shifted up and bent her knee higher with a choked breath. Miles looked down the hallway in time to see Jin attaching Juliet's note to the outside of the screen door.

"We'll be back soon. Good luck with LaFleur." Miles said then turned to go.

"Miles!" Juliet called out after him.

Both Jin and Miles looked at her.

"Thank you." She said flashing a weak smile of apology and gratitude.

Miles gave her a tiny nod then headed out. He closed the front door and Juliet heard it lock behind them.

Juliet let out a heavy sigh as she looked down and moved her hands back to add pressure on her leg once again. She could still smell the iron in the air as she heard the van start up and rumble off into the distance. The house was silent minus the rhythmic snoring of James coming from the bathroom and persistent ticking of the wall clock in the kitchen.

 

........

 


	53. Chapter 53

Sawyer opened his eyes-his face was resting on a rolled up towel. A soft gray daylight was glowing in from the hallway. His throat was sore and his own breath disgusted him. He groaned and looked around. He angrily pulled the remains of his hair free from the binder which was barely holding anything back anymore anyways. _The hell happ.... BILL?!_

Suddenly Sawyer pushed to his feet using the wall to bounce out off of as he exited the bathroom. His eyes blinked hard - He looked at his wrists, having no idea how he'd been freed. His eyes met with a dark blood stain on the floor just outside the bathroom. His memory was hitting him in short flashes, waves.

"Juliet?" He called out in a confused panic.

He turned towards the bedroom. The sound of light rain and dull daylight seeped in through the curtains muting her blond highlights - wound up in a sloppy bun on top of her head with stray locks fallen across her face. She was sitting on the floor,  her head lolling back against the side of the bed. She had one leg bent up a with her hand resting on a rolled shirt against her upper thigh. Her eyes were closed and her body was milky pale. Sawyer stopped breathing and swallowed. His nostrils flared and eyebrows angled in concern as he  picked up his pace through the door frame careful to step over a much larger stain on the carpet as his eyes surveyed the room. He squinted at the appearance of the room. The bed sheets were gone. Bill was no where to be found. There were bloody first aid bandages and wrappers piled on the floor as well as a small sewing kit and a bottle of half drunken whiskey all within Juliet's reach.

Sawyer dropped in front of Juliet, his eyes widely examining her condition. He was almost afraid to touch her. He gently reached up and took hold of her upper arms. Her skin was chilled against his warm hands.

"Juliet? Hey?" He said softly but intensely.

Juliet's head pulled up- her brow arched and mouth opened and her eyes glanced around briefly.  She was calm as she remembered where she was before locking on Sawyer. Her nose wrinkled and her eyes watered almost instantly. She tilted her head to the side, clearly glad to see him. 

"You shot?!" Was the first thing Sawyer could think to ask as he moved her hand and lifted the bandage slowly. Retraining his focus on her bruised leg with a small stitched incision.

Juliet shook her head as she let him look at it.

"No."

Sawyer let out an audible sigh of relief. He looked around again- now afraid to stop touching her. His fingers sliding over her skin- his eyes following carefully-taking in the sight of her.

"Where is he?" Sawyer said in a hoarse voice.

"He's gone." Juliet replied bring her fingers up to casually brush back the stray hair from her face.  
"Gone? He got away? We gotta..." He jerked suddenly as though he'd left the stove on. _How was he gone?!_  
"James. Stop... You don't remember?" Juliet whispered in a half question half statement as she slowly blinked her eyes dry as she reached up to lock onto him. Sawyer paused in concentration.

"No. ...the hell happened? Gimme a sec." He said attempting to shake the fog from his memory.

"He was. You... I was, Jack was... I thought I was dreamin' but I wasn't an..." Sawyer was clearly upset that he was only remembering pieces of the night. Juliet silently watched him battle with his mind for information. He looked around, his eyes stopping in specific areas of the room and hallway.

"You killed him..." He finished after a moment-  looking finally towards the bed side table.

Juliet closed her eyes at his words. She'd killed people before- but something in his tone was almost regretful.

"He was gunna kill me and you killed him first."

Juliet realized that Sawyer was upset that _she'd_ had to kill Bill. His body relaxed and he moved over as the events fully came back to him. He turned himself to sit beside her on her good side, next to the phone which was still on the floor. He looked like a kid- sitting semi cross legged in shock. He was still wearing his pirate shirt and pants. He bent a knee and held his head, pressing his fingers to his temple.

"I called Miles... and Jin." Juliet said softly.

"Yeh, that's good. They took him?" Sawyer replied in a daze.

Juliet nodded.

"I'll head to security see what I can do about gettin' rid of the tapes." Sawyer said as he started to stand. Juliet caught him by the arm, halting him.

"No. Not today... We aren't... here."  
"Whattya mean we ain't here?"

"There's a note on our doors that we're all on day trip...fishing... if anyone stops by. We needed to buy some time. The sun was nearly up and the easiest way to..."

Sawyer's eyes darted around as a wave of guilt washed over him...They'd done all this without him. He was their leader and completely out of control of the situation. Sawyer's brow furrowed, suddenly unnerved. Juliet let go of his arm.

"There was no choice. We had to act." Juliet said semi-defensively after noting James's expression.

Sawyer sighed heavily and dragged his fingers down his face then nodded.

"Yeh, well... least all of Dharmaville ain't knockin' on our door... Thanks for listenin' to me an not tellin' H."

Sawyer stared at the wall, clearly trying to figure out what to do next. Juliet silently looked him over. His shirt had a bit of blood stain from where he'd wiped his nose. He looked better than last night already. His face, sans the dried blood smeared on it didn't even look bruised.. She reached for his closest wrist and pulled it up to examine it. His eyes followed. His wrist was red but the marks weren't as noticeable as she'd expected. _The island._ She looked at her own wrists. Her right was considerably worse than her left- she'd torn some of flesh away when she'd freed herself. Sawyer's eyes followed hers. When he realized she was comparing damages he slid in closer and put his arm around her. Juliet looked up at him curiously. _  
_

"You alright? Anything hurting?" Juliet asked.

"Got the mother of all headaches but other'n that I'm good." Sawyer said with a small faked smile.

"You okay? I mean, minus the obvious?" he returned the question- gesturing at her injuries.

"Truth?..." Juliet whispered as the burning sensation of emotions shot up through her sinuses. Juliet swallowed hard- her throat tightened instantly. Sawyer let out a sympathetic growl.

"Hey... C'mere. I got you."

Sawyer tucked Juliet's upper body into his chest snugly. His chin rested on her head as he himself released a ragged sigh. Juliet shook her head at herself as though she were upset with at her inability to remain stoic. She was usually so good at flipping the switch. She held back her tears but didn't pull away from him- instead she found herself focusing on deeply breathing in the smell of his shirt.

"Dunno what I'da done if you weren't here. Thanks fer havin' my back... again."

Juliet blinked rapidly and arched her head and looked at his face. Physically, he was fine- but Juliet could now see the emotional toll the night had taken on him. He closed his eyes knowing she was watching him - then opened them, letting her see the hurt.

"Thanks fer havin' mine" She replied seriously. She knew James put his life in between her and Bill. He wouldn't have let him take her out of the house alive and she knew it. James didn't reply and Juliet didn't wait before she wrapped around his arm and pulled herself back into his warmth.

Sawyer stroked her back lightly. He'd almost lost her all because he'd gotten too comfortable here. The nice house, the free Dharma beer, the hot showers. He was happy. He was...now he was aware that he needed balance. This place was... as Charlotte so honestly put it. "death".  He couldn't let his guard down again. He needed to start drawing himself limits, goals. If Bill could go crazy just like Claire had, that meant - none of them were safe from the madness of the island. Hell- he'd nearly escorted himself to his own murder thinkin' Bill was Jack.

Sawyer's brow twitched. He was having a hard time coping with the idea that best thing he could do right now was "nothing". They'd have to wait and hope that Miles and Jin returned safely. Sawyer felt his chest lock.

He kissed the top of Juliet's head and whispered into her hair.

They stayed on the floor until the rain stopped. Juliet had dozed off against his shoulder. Sawyer lightly pulled himself free- shuffling quietly to his feet before bending back down to pick up Juliet. Juliet's eyes fluttered open and she watched him as he carried her down the hall to the living room and gently set her on the couch. She let out a soft pained noise as her leg inadvertently flexed. Sawyer made an apologetic face as he grabbed a pillow and propped her up a bit then covered her in the blanket that was slung over the back of the couch. Juliet started to shift forward and Sawyer put his finger up.

"Stay" He said as though she were a restless puppy.

"James... I can help." Juliet said with a sigh as she gestured back down the hall.

"Okaaaay, but first... I'm starvin' so I'm makin' us breakfast... er lunch. Unless you ain't hungry..."

Juliet let out a breath of defeat and tipped her head, closing her eyes sweetly. Sawyer nodded in victory.

"Great. Dharma peanut butter and jelly sandwiches comin' right up." He flashed his dimples for only a moment before moving more seriously to the kitchen while keeping Juliet in his sights. His mind was still plotting the _if's, when's_ and _what next's_.

"They should be back soon." Juliet said, checking the clock realizing they'd been gone half the day. So far things had been quiet. It was the beginning of the weekend and they guys were off for the next 2 days. Juliet was due back to work tomorrow but was already coming up with her plan out of it.

"I'll call Kevin tonight before the Motor Pool closes. Tell him I caught a fever while I was out today in the rain. It'll buy me another day, maybe two.."  
Sawyer looked at her with a bit of worry. Her face looked banged up and her wrists were in awful shape. She couldn't walk without a serious limp- he wasn't sure how one day was going to help anything but he nodded in agreement anyways. He brought her a glass of water and a few painkillers then took a few for his own headache as well before returning to the kitchen for their sandwiches.

He passed a plate to Juliet and plopped down in his chair as the two of them ate. Juliet took small bites- thinking in between each, she wasn't entirely hungry- but she knew she needed the energy. Sawyer took large purposeful bites finishing his sandwich in less than 2 minutes. He returned to the kitchen and started rifling under the sink. 

"There's a steel brush under there, the mop bucket is in the hall closet. If you use laundry detergent- the blood will come up."  Juliet stated factually.

Sawyer arched a brow- she was a doctor, who'd seen her share of bloody floors- especially since arriving on the island. He sighed and pulled out the brush holding it up questioningly. Juliet nodded and started to remove the blanket from her legs.

"Let me..."  
"No. Damnitt, Blondie. Just rest. Please. Last thing I need is more of yer blood on the floor a'ight? You rip out a stitch and we gotta start all over."

Juliet tucked her chin down and sighed. Sitting still was clearly not her forte either. She set her plate on the side table and watched Sawyer fill a bucket and move down the hall to the bedroom and start cleaning the larger stain. Juliet rested her head against the back of the couch. The " _swoosh swoosh"_ sound of the brush scrubbing against the carpet was oddly hypnotizing and she found her eyelids instantly getting heavy once again.

.....

The light was fading fast. Juliet arched her back- stretching as much as she dared as she glanced at the clock. It was nearly dinner. The lights were out and she could hear the shower just turning off from the bathroom. Juliet pushed upright, squinting as she lifted her leg and placed it delicately on the floor. Her foot immediately bumped into something- knocking it over. She leaned down and felt around- smiling as the feel of James's wooden cane met with her fingertips. She'd almost forgotten they still had it.

Juliet gratefully used the cane and stood up- she hobbled towards the bedroom-careful to notice that the blood had come clean and the iron smell had been pleasantly replaced by the smell of laundry. She entered the bedroom. The bed was made, the floor was clean, everything looked just as it had before. Nothing felt the same though.

The bathroom door opened and Sawyer emerged, a towel wrapped around his waist his hair dripping recklessly across his broad shoulders and chest. He paused in the doorway of the bathroom and smiled that Juliet had found the cane he'd left for her.

"Any word from the boys?" Sawyer asked.

Juliet shook her head.

"I'm sure they're fine. Probably be back any minute." He answered, more for himself than for Juliet.

"Yeh." Juliet said sweetly- though she was clearly just as worried.

"Saved ya some hot water." He said with a distracting smile as he gestured to the bathroom. Steam was rolling out in delicate waves and Juliet wrinkled her nose in thanks.

"I can't get my stitches wet yet." She replied softly with disappointment.

Sawyer looked down at her bandage then headed back into the bathroom and turned on the bath. He plugged the drain and came back out.

"Then I guess we'll just do it the ol' fashioned way." He said as he put a hand out to her.

Juliet reached up and let her hair down then reached an arm in front of herself to take his outstretched hand, keeping the cane to help her. She blinked slowly and let out a breath.

"Thank you."

"C'mon. Let's get ya cleaned up 'fore they get back." Sawyer said gently. Juliet smiled a lovely smile and Sawyer's heart swelled.

"Save the biggest mess for last?" She said jokingly as she moved into the bathroom.

"Never." he replied, honestly.

Sawyer followed her in and closed the door- keeping the heat in and the world out- if only temporarily. When they guys returned, there would have to be a game plan. The next few days would be critical.

 

 


	54. Chapter 54

Sawyer sat in his chair, a book in his hand, his new glasses resting on the ridge of his nose. He had been staring at the same page for at least 20 minutes.  After he'd drawn a bath for Juliet he decided it best to give her some privacy. She was quiet and he knew that she needed to decompress. He also wanted to be sure he was waiting when Miles and Jin returned. The curtains were still tightly closed and the light was beginning to fade making it difficult to read but really... he wasn't reading anyhow.

Minus the broken chair, there was no evidence that anything had happened in their house last night but Sawyer was still making a mental list. Be sure the van is clean, check the security tapes, bring the camera back to _what's his name_ , get rid off the photos...

A set of headlights passed across the closed curtains and Sawyer  quickly got to his feet and moved over to peek carefully out the window. The van was back. He waited for Miles and Jin to park - which they did and a convenient angle for no one to see who was in getting out of it.  They made their way to the door and Sawyer let them enter - exchanging an uncertain look as the three of them glanced around. It was after dinner time and just dark enough that thankfully, no one was out. Miles had his rifle slung over his shoulder and was carrying two shovels and two fishing poles. Sawyer took off his eyeglasses and tucked them into his collar then walked outside as though he'd been out all day and moved to help carry in a few things that were in the van-grabbing a backpack and being sure to give it the once over as he picked up a bucket with 5 fish strung on a line resting in it. He looked at Jin and tipped his head curiously. Jin took the bucket stoically and headed into the house. The van looked good, no trace of anything suspicious. Sawyer swallowed hard and turned back towards the house- his brows were permanently furrowed.

Not one of them said a word outside. Once they were all in the house and the door was closed. Miles dropped to the couch with a heavy sigh.  Jin looked around, presumably wondering about Juliet then took the pistol from his waistband and handed it back to Sawyer.

"Anyone stop ya?" Sawyer asked with an intense tone.

Jin shook his head _"no"_

"We did just like Juliet said. Not saying that the rain didn't make it a nightmare though. We didn't bury him very deep but I don't think anyone's gunna go looking for him." Miles added.

Sawyer nodded in acknowledgement and grabbed a few beers from the fridge as he finally turned on the kitchen light. Miles echoed the sentiment and leaned over to flip the living room lamp on as well.  Jin stood over the sink and began to clean the fish they'd caught. He took an outstretched beer from Sawyer, thankfully.

"Nice touch, gettin' some fish- thought somthin' mighta happened. Sure glad yer back." Sawyer said with unrefined honestly.

"We are... okay- no problems... You... okay?" Jin asked

Sawyer shook his head with a groan. "Yeh, Jinbo- I'm good. Thanks fer.. ya know... everything. I dunno what the hell woulda happened if you two weren't around."

"How's Juliet?" Miles chimed in- half standing to reach for the beer that Sawyer was now handing him as well.

"She's fine, Miles." Juliet said sweetly. Her voice carrying a comforting tone through the room as she appeared in the hall from the bathroom- a towel neatly tucked around her body.

Miles glanced up at her then averted his eyes since she was only wearing a towel. He cleared his throat and nodded at the floor.

There wasn't time for any longer of an awkward silence because suddenly there was a knock on the door.

Sawyer spun towards it then looked back at Juliet- whose eyes were as wide as his.

"Uh..." Sawyer frowned sympathetically tipping his head at Juliet's appearance and she nodded then moved herself down the hall to the bedroom and shut the door.

Jin froze momentarily as Sawyer moved to open the door then continued cleaning fish in an attempt to act casual. Miles stood up and sat down then stood up again and moved to the kitchen leaning on the counter with his beer in hand. Sawyer gave him a _"Make up your mind"_ look then pulled his glasses back out and put them on - hoping they might serve as a distraction from - whatever might otherwise be distracting whoever was at the door.  He called out before he opened it.

"Yeh, Who is it!?"

The high pitched voice on the other side was none other than Amy's  _"Great!"_

Sawyer opened the door leaving the screen door in place. Amy tipped her head at him then opened the screen door herself.

"Hey Jim. I saw your light come on... and the van so I knew you guys were back. Are those new glasses? Anyway... I just needed to talk to Juliet. We were going to go over the sub manifest this weekend and I just remembered she said she worked tomorrow so.. here I am!" Amy held up a clipboard with a list of names jubilantly as she stopped rambling.

"Uh, yeh... Amy- She did mention something about that." Sawyer lied silently cursing himself that he'd just called Amy _"AMY"_ for what might have been the first time ever. Amy's expression let him know that she'd noticed. She gave a small smile and took a step to the side- half peeking past Sawyer in search of Juliet.

"I'm afraid Juliet ain't feelin' too good. We got caught up in some rain today and I think she mighta come down with somethin. Little fever maybe" Sawyer replied pulling the door more tightly to his shoulder.

"Oh, I see.  I guess it will have to wait until tomorrow night then. At least you caught some fish!" Amy said- clearly able to make out what Jin was doing in the kitchen. Jin turned towards her and greeted her with a nod and a gentle smile. Easily convincing.

"I'll have her give ya a ring tomorrow- ain't lookin' like she's gunna make it to work in the mornin' at this rate."

Amy scrunched her face with a flash of concern as her eyes locked on Sawyer's hand, which was tightly gripping the door frame. Sawyer looked over and saw the red ring of his wrist poking out from his shirt cuff and more distinctly the red scrapes on his knuckles he hadn't even realized were there. He imagined they were from his battle to pick up the kitchen knife when he and Bill collided or maybe it was just rug burn from being dragged around, he really didn't know. He quickly and subtly moved his hand inside the door not entirely sure how much Amy had seen.

Amy's eyes jetted to Miles who was now dramatically drinking his beer in the background as though he was trying not to watch. He was nervously quiet.

"Everything alright Jim?" She asked pulling her attention back to Sawyer who couldn't help but shoot a look or annoyance over his shoulder to Miles.  
"Yeh  'course...May have had a little too much fun at Horace's party last night-but didn't we all?  It's been a long day darlin'.."

Amy blushed at the thought of how drunk she'd been and backed out the door with an embarrassed huff.

"Yes, you're right- I slept in pretty late myself. I understand. Okay. Well...tell Juliet I'll call her... Night guys" Amy called over Sawyer's shoulder. Miles and Jin put a hand up to wave her goodbye and Sawyer tipped his head charmingly flashing his dimples as she let the screen door close.  The sound of thunder and the smell of rain once again began to roll through. Miles stepped up next to Sawyer to watch her go and whispered.

"She didn't believe you."

"I know Enos, I know" Sawyer growled back as they watched Amy head up her porch and into her house.

......

Juliet waited until the front door closed then came back out, still limping heavily on her leg. She was dressed in loose pajama pants and a t-shirt, towel across her shoulders shielding her shirt from her wet hair. She felt like she looked better but the expressions on the guys faces when she made it to the kitchen said otherwise. Sawyer handed her the phone, stretching the cord across the room and gesturing for her to sit in his chair. She complied and took a deep breath as the corner of her mouth twitched. She dialed the Motor Pool, half cleared her throat causing it to sound scratchy and unnatural and continued the lie that Sawyer had begun.

.....

 _Juliet held her breath as she sat in her car, in the rain, outside Rachel's apartment._ _She hit the "send" button on her cell phone and clung to it like a lifeline. It rang 3 times before she heard the voice she needed._

_"Ya'? Hello?"_

_"Rachel? Hey. It's me. Were you sleeping?" Juliet asked with a high, soft, almost desperate pitch._

_"Uhh. What time is it? Jeezus, Juliet it's 2am. Nah. I was still awake. What's going on?"_

_Water was pouring down the windshield as Juliet's attention was pulled towards Rachel's bedroom window where the light had just turned on. She knew her sister had been sleeping but she didn't know where else to go- she didn't want to be alone in some cold hotel room and she couldn't be at home when Ed woke up._

_"Juliet? Are you okay? Where are you? Something happen with Ed?.... Hey!..... Answer me!"_

_"I'm ... I'm okay. I just wanted to hear your voice. I'm sorry... I should've waited til morning."_

_"Stop it. You don't have to continue the lie for him... I'm not "anybody" Juliet, I'm you're my sister and I know you. What happened?"_

_Juliet could hear Rachel huff in frustration as she got up and start moving around. She closed her eyes in agreement then started with the truth.  
_

_"He was drunk, again. He's getting worse. I'm... I don't know what I did to... I..." Juliet felt tears in her eyes but quickly wiped them with the back of her hand as her sisters voice cut in._  
"No one has to do anything to him, he's a megalomaniac. He hit you?"

_Juliet knew that her silence was only confirmation to Rachel that she was right but she couldn't actually admit it out loud. Rachel growled.  
_

_"I don't want you staying there anymore- and we're gunna start callin' the cops.  We're gunna get the bastard on record."_

_"My lawyer said the same thing. To start keeping records. Otherwise, Ed may contest the divorce, turn things against me and take... everything... everything I've worked for. " Juliet was now openly crying._

_"That isn't gunna happen. I promise you." Rachel replied confidently with a hint of anger._

_There was a sudden tapping on her driver's side window.  Juliet jumped and let out a gasp. Honestly terrified until  her eyes locked on to Rachel's. She was standing in the middle of the street, in the rain in her pajamas with an umbrella and a genuine look of sympathy. Rachel  hung up her cell phone in front of Juliet and tipped her head gesturing towards the house as she opened the car door._

_"C'mon, pop the trunk- I'll grab your bag."_

_Juliet's face contorted in a silent cry as she nodded and obeyed. She got out of the car and took the umbrella that her sister was holding out to her. Rachel picked up a small overnight bag from the trunk, put her arm around Juliet and walked her inside._

_........._

 

"Thank you, Jesse. I'm sure it's just a stomach bug or something. I'll call you two tomorrow."

Juliet hung up the phone and Sawyer came over and took it back to it's home.

Sawyer sat down on the couch and started going over the plan for the next few days. Juliet was grounded. She would play sick and they would assess her day by day. Miles volunteered to return the van to the Motor Pool on his way home- Juliet already apologized to Jesse for "forgetting to add it to the checkout log" of vehicles in use when she'd called in sick. He played into the lie easily believing it as the truth. So far the only people that knew Bill was missing already assumed him to be dead so they would go on about their business as usual unless circumstances changed. No one had come knocking over anything specifically yet which led Sawyer to believe they either hadn't checked the tapes or... didn't see anything that looked suspicious. They would handle destroying any video evidence when they worked next shift. Juliet stayed fairly quiet as Sawyer laid out the possibilities. She was inside her head, staring off at nothing for most of the discussion. The guys noticed but no one said anything, not tonight. After all- she had just killed someone.

Jin made dinner and the four of them moved to the kitchen table to eat. They were one chair short due to the broken leg. Sawyer took his plate and ate standing up along the counter top.

"Thank you Jin." Juliet said politely as Jin brought her a plate of fish and rice. He smiled softly at her and she returned his expression.

"I can fix the chair tomorrow." Jin stated helpfully. Sawyer nodded- his eye caught on the camera sitting on the opposite counter.

"Thanks bud. Sounds good. I'll bring that over to Kevin's buddy and close that loophole permanently tomorrow too. We'll need to get back into Bill's - the place needs to be "cleaned out"- by us." Juliet looked at the camera as she listened to James's words still unsure why it was there and what he was talking about "getting _back_ into Bill's" but before she could ask Miles did it for her.

"Yeh, what the hell's the deal with all that? Where and When'd you get that stuff? Nobody saw him all this time? That's messed up. I mean...How'd we miss that? That he was so obsessed with her.  He couldn't have been more obvious"

"Shut it Enos!" Sawyer snapped.

"What are you talking about Miles? James?" Juliet said her face looking like she was being insulted, her glance moving to Sawyer as her eyes narrowed questioningly.

Sawyer swallowed and took a deep breath in giving Miles the _"Thanks, I hadn't told her yet"_ expression.

"Can we talk about later? I ain't really in the mood~ seeing as how we almost died last night n all"

Juliet's nostrils flared but she didn't say anything - looking back at Miles. His eyebrow twitched and he slid his chair back.

"Yeh uh. It's nothing. No big deal. I don't know what I'm talking about. Actually... I was just thinking it's been a long day and I better get that van back." Miles cleared his throat and his plate simultaneously. Jin leaned over and took Juliet's empty plate and did the same. The look on Jin's face said that he had already had this conversation with Miles while they were out and knew very well the extent of Bill's "crazy".

"Hey~ Somebody better explain." Juliet demanded as Miles drifted towards the door.

"Yes, Sawyer will explain. We will come by tomorrow. You get some rest. Goodnight." Jin said quietly as he touched Juliet's shoulder then moved to put a package of leftover fish into the freezer before following Miles to the door.

The two of them left. Miles shooting an apologetic look at Sawyer before pushing the screen door open.

Sawyer followed the guys and locked the door behind them. Juliet pushed herself up from the table and Sawyer watched with a wince, knowing her leg hurt. She moved to the counter and picked up the camera.

"James.... Who's camera is this?" Juliet's expression was unwavering.

 

 


	55. Chapter 55

Sawyer groaned and put his arms straight out, palms up, in a submissive way before letting them flop to his sides, silently asking Juliet not to get angry. He took his glasses off and tucked them into his shirt pocket.

"Sam's. He's the guy that takes the Kumbaya photos of the newbie groups when they get off the subs. He also does maintenance with Roger" Sawyer said his voice pitching sarcastically like it was a fun fact in a "la tee dah" tone. Clearly Sawyer hadn't even thought of how he was going to explain how all of this started.

Juliet squinted at him.

"Okay......?" Juliet continued questioningly as she stepped in, tipping her head ever so slightly as she examined the empty film compartment. Sawyer reached out and gently retrieved the device from Juliet.

"Look, He borrowed it to someone, I got it back. End of story. He ain't a threat."  
She'd met Sam and knew James was telling the truth. Juliet swallowed, her brows still furrowed. She also already knew who that "someone" Sam borrowed the camera to had to be.

"What's on the film? What was Miles talking about?" Juliet questioned evenly as she slowly blinked gesturing to the lack of film.

Sawyer placed the camera casually back on the counter. He tightened the corner of his mouth mirroring Juliet as he turned to face her. 

"It ain't nothin' to be worried about." Sawyer said in a deep comforting tone as he reached up and let his fingers trace the side of her face from the bump above her eyebrow down her jaw to rest just above her collarbone.

Juliet's breath stuttered and her nostrils suddenly flared. She stepped back, planting her back against the kitchen counter and put her hand up, removing his from her.

"Stop it." She said firmly.

"What?" Sawyer replied, honestly confused.

"Just... Stop. It's not...you..."

"Not me? The hell it ain't. What? I ain't allowed to try and shield you? Protect you? Is that it?"  Sawyer stepped back, insulted. His voice was getting louder and his sarcasm began oozing out. He shoved his hair out of his eyes and and puffed his cheeks. The dent between his eyebrows intensified as he tipped his head and bore his smokey gray blue eyes into her. Juliet held her ground as her pitch leveled in anger.

"No, you aren't. We've been through too much to retreat into some ridiculous stereotype. You need to stop treating me like I'm some sort of porcelain doll that will break into a thousand tiny pieces if you tell me the truth! "

Sawyer half turned away then spun back to face her.

"HA! Well idint' THAT ironic? I hate to remind ya Sweetness but there seems to be a few things you may have "forgotten to mention" yourself. For example, What the hell happened outside the fence Juliet? Oh!? or better yet... how did I not know that Bill was in _this_ house before last night!"

Juliet flinched like she'd been pinched. Her eyebrows angled ever so slightly as images of Bill flashed through her mind. James was right. This had started a long time ago. And the dream... Bill had not only been in their house but in her bedroom. She could almost feel his weight against her chest right now though she was sure it was just the fact that she'd never been good at confrontation which was a large part of the reason she hadn't told James about all of Bill's behaviors in the first place. Her eyes glassed over as her gaze chose a random spot on the wall to her left.  It had been going on so long Juliet wasn't sure she even remembered some of the things she should've told him. So much had changed since they'd arrived. She'd changed. James had changed. They'd both grown so much- together. Juliet's tongue subtly rolled along her bottom lip. There was a cut there from her struggle with Bill. Her thumb moved up subconsciously to press against it. They both stood in silence for a moment before she answered quietly and honestly- her eyes remained averted.

"That's not fair."

"Ain't it?!"

Juliet's eyes shot up to meet Sawyer's. Sawyer was angry and Juliet pushed off the counter with a frustrated grunt and headed for the bedroom, holding her breath through the pain of using her leg so it didn't feel like stabbing with each step she took. They were both tired and she knew nothing would be solved in their current emotional states.

"Fine." Juliet said solidly back to him over her shoulder as her throat tightened. Sawyer watched her then called after her as he reached into the fridge and yanked out a beer.

"FINE, so whenever YOU feel like swappin' stories, I'll be here. But I ain't playin' in this one way street no more!"

 

Sawyer cracked the beer and took a long swig. His eyes watched the hallway as he clenched his beer can tightly. He was waiting for Juliet to yell back but quickly reminded himself that this was Juliet and not Kate. There would be no knock down drag out verbal warfare here. Sawyer sighed guiltily as he heard the bedroom door quietly close.

 _"Damnitt._ " Sawyer shook his head. He hadn't meant to turn it around and use his temper against her.

After a few minutes Sawyer set his beer down and slowly made his way towards the bedroom. After all they'd been through.... She was right, she didn't deserve to be treated like anything less than his equal. He stopped by the closest still shaking his head and rummaged through it until his fingertips found Bill's backpack, which he had conveniently put on a top shelf out of Juliet's sight while she was sleeping.

He tapped on the bedroom door but didn't bother waiting for her to turn him away before he carefully opened it to find Juliet standing there staring at the room blankly. He stepped in, watching her look around.

"I didn't have to kill him."

"What? Hey. Don't do that to yerself. You didn't have a choice. The man was out of control. Ain't a soul here that thinks otherwise" Sawyer said moving in closer and circling around so he could see her face. His fingertips floated lightly above her forearms, unsure whether or not to touch her.

"He would've surrendered." Juliet continued, not sure why she felt the need to verbalize this strange guilt she was feeling.

Sawyer paused at her words. Thinking back on how Bill had no weapon, how he'd listened to Juliet, bandaged her wounds. She was probably right, he wasn't stupid and he clearly thought he loved her. Sawyer shook the idea from his head. _Yeh things mighta been easier to turn him in but I 'm glad that bastard is dead._ The thoughts of Bill stalking Juliet for so long made pit grow in his stomach. He cleared his throat nervously as Juliet took notice of the backpack slung over his left shoulder and her brows arched. He decided it was now or never. He wasn't about to let his silence imply that he agreed with her, because he didn't. He quietly un-shouldered the backpack and set it on the bed in front of her then upturned it as the evidence poured out across the bed into a puddle of truth.

Juliet was watching his face carefully as the photos spilled out. Her eyes widened as they shifted to the scattered collage and her hand immediately slid up to cover her mouth in pained surprise as her breath caught in her throat. She moved in slowly, mechanically then set herself on the edge of the bed reaching for the pile. Her breathing was suddenly ragged as her fingers fluttered over the images, her hands shaking. Her mouth tightened and her brow twitched. Juliet had no words. At first she was afraid to touch them- but after a few moments she began to- then she found herself more frantically, almost desperately flipping each one face up. The realization was hitting her of the time span that these photos were covering. Sawyer let out a sigh as he recalled doing the same thing just the night before.

"I found em last night, at the Cowboy's place, when I left the party.  I ain't gunna say I'm sorry that he's gone. Only thing I'm sorry bout was not keepin' a closer eye on the man." Sawyer spoke softly as he moved closer to Juliet, dropping down into a squatting position beside her. He reached out and set his hand on the top of her thigh, trying to be supportive as he gave her his best sympathetic look. It was a lot to take in. He found his own gaze wandering over for a second look at them himself.

Juliet's eyes flashed to Sawyer then back, her nostrils were flared again but not in anger. He could see she was holding back her tears.  She pulled out a series of pictures that were... in Sawyer's mind "over the top" including some very close up shots and the ones Bill had clearly taken from inside the house in private moments Juliet had thought she was alone.

"I..." Juliet started then froze, her eyes refusing to leave the bed.

"You wanna know the truth, Blondie?" Sawyer continued, trying his best to maintain a calm tone.

 Juliet nodded- it was the best she could do to answer.

"I screwed up" Sawyer said flatly. Juliet's head lifted.

"What?" She breathed barely audible, a look of confusion written in her expression.

"I knew the guy was trouble from day... ONE. The second I saw him watching you when you came out of the cafeteria. I got _that_ feelin' like... a little spark in my gut that was tryin' to warn me."  
Juliet's eyes squinted then tipped her head implying that James was being dramatic and there was no way he could've known. She let out a short sigh.

"I'm suppose to be the leader of this charade, the guy runnin' this whole con and I let myself get too comfortable. Ya know?  I screwed up. This damn place the closest thing to a home... I ever had. You. The guys... Thinking we were all safe behind this fence... It was a mistake. I let my guard down. I failed."

"James..." Juliet blinked slowly, watching him intently trying to stop him from the guilt ridden spiral that he was riding. She knew it well.

"I keep goin' over things. Things he said, did. It was from the beginnin' wasn't it? You knew it and you were afraid but you didn't tell me. Now- how my _not_ spose'd to take that personal?" Sawyer's feet began to tingle from being bent into a crouch and he shifted to his knees. Juliet shook her head that he was wrong. She picked up the photo Sawyer had taken from Bill's bedside table. It was the one of him and Juliet in each others arms on the dance floor. She showed it to him.

"There was a lot I was sorting out in my head too. The island, The hostiles, Home, You."

"Yeh well, when _you kissed me_. It was like I was instantly 8 years old again and it scared the hell out of me."

Juliet's mouth twitched as he continued to try and explain.

"and... that night... when _I kissed you,_ I knew you felt the same."

Juliet nodded softly in agreement.

"I should've listened to my gut." He repeated again.

"How could you know? I... I didn't want you to. You're right. I _was_ afraid. I still am."

"I ain't goin' nowhere." Sawyer pushed himself to his feet.

"I love you." Juliet said softly, her fingers gently lacing through his. Sawyer tipped his chin down and flashed his dimples. He couldn't deny his relief in hearing those words right now.

"...and I ain't 8 years old no more, Blondie. I ain't gunna hide under the bed while the person I love gets ripped away from me. Not again."

The two of them shared a look. They both understood they were doing what they thought was best. No more words were exchanged. Juliet moved first and scooted her legs carefully up onto the bed before resting her head back on her pillow. She stared at the ceiling as Sawyer shuffled the photos together and quickly stowed them back in the backpack. Juliet watched Sawyer in her peripheral vision as set the bag aside and moved around to the other side of the bed. He stretched out next to her on his back with his arms folded under his head

Sawyer turned his head. He couldn't help but look at her. He was thankful they were alive. Relieved that Billy Boy had been dealt with once and for all. They lay there in silent contemplation as the drama and events settled into an eerie silence. Tomorrow they would have to make a dangerous lie into an absolute truth.  His mind lingered on the details. He would need to iron out the folds and make sure no trace of suspicion remained. The biggest concern in his mind right now was not Horace or the Security team at all- it was their "friends". Amy, Jerry, Kevin. Sawyer let out a light groan as he slid over close to Juliet untucking an arm. Juliet shifted her head from her pillow to his bicep like it was the most natural thing in the world. Sawyer placed a kiss on her forehead. Juliet's eyes fluttered closed as her breathing relaxed. He knew she was thinking about the pictures but she was also still physically drained and didn't have room for emotions right now. He felt his expression tighten as he lay there sideways staring at Juliet's damaged wrist which lay sweetly across her stomach. He had seen her battered before, when they'd gotten her back from the hostiles but he hadn't been there when it happened. Watching Bill lose it and force his physical dominance on Juliet was something that turned his stomach so hard that he thought he might implode in anger. He had a temper, just like Bill yet Bill let himself be consumed into harming the one person he said he couldn't live without. Sawyer would never understand it. Just like he would never understand his father's need to kill his mother. Even with Sayid, a bonafide killer there was a limit. He had the ability to disconnect, torture and kill just about any man alive without remorse yet Sawyer he knew Sayid  would never hurt a woman. Sawyer found comfort in that, he had a code. 

Sawyer lay there fully clothed until he was certain that Juliet was asleep. He slipped himself out of bed, headed to the kitchen, grabbed a notebook and Juliet's novel.

Sawyer dropped down on the couch, pulled his eyeglasses out of his shirt pocket, flipped on the lamp behind himself and adjusted his position so he was facing the open bedroom door- just as he had done before the bedroom had become his. He put his glasses on with a sigh and opened the novel to the bent cornered page where he'd last left off.  He read slowly. He paused, picked up his pencil and jotted in the notebook beside him then went back to reading. It was a list. Reading helped him clear his mind.  He needed to think of every possibility and it's counter. This was what he did. The best cons are well thought out and always had a back up plan. Since Sawyer's back up plan was usually to "skip town" and that was not an option here - he would need to be prepared for anything. His chest tightened and he set the pencil down returning his eyes to the novel once again.

......

 


	56. Chapter 56

_"Juliet, Don't..." Bill said in a desperate almost gentle tone.  
_

_Juliet felt her heavy arms tingle as she tightened her grip and looked him dead in the eye. She hadn't remembered him saying anything. She hadn't given him a chance.  
_

_The crack of the pistol firing immediately eliminated her sense of hearing and replaced it with a high ringing pitch. The air smelled of gun powder. Her eyes remained locked on Bill's, his mouth was still moving but she could no longer hear him. He looked down at his chest then reached out towards her. His green eyes flickered for just a moment from a monster to a man.  He then stepped closer his mouth still moving, Juliet tried to fire again but her weapon just clicked beneath her trigger finger ineffectively. Bill was suddenly standing over her, her eyes grew wide.  Juliet's hearing returned to her as the dark crashing, snapping, animalistic snarling sound of the black smoke made it's presence known. Bill's body melted into a swirl darkness that reminded Juliet briefly of a panther lurking in wait of it's prey. The entity surged towards her and halted angrily just inches from her. She dropped the pistol to the floor with a clunk and covered her head, tucking her face into the top of her knees. Out of the blackness that now seemingly surrounded her it flashed a series of brilliant white lights at her, just like it had when she and James had encountered it out in the jungle. Swirls of wind gusted up around her as tiny  electrical shock like feelings randomly pinged off of her flesh once again.  
_

_"Stop!!!" Juliet yelled as the flashes assaulted her memories giving her glimpses of herself as though someone were witnessing her life from another perspective. It was so quick that it was more a series of emotions than truly having been there._

_Juliet felt a strange warmth cover her back and neck.  
_

_It was James. She could feel him, smell him even.  
_

_Juliet raised her head and a lamp on the table behind her flickered on.  The warm glow of it sent the smoke into the shadows of the room then it retreated towards the hallway, waiting... watching... The feeling of a relaxed hand slowly reached in and an arm wrapped around her, encasing her protectively. Juliet let out a deep ragged breath and reached up entwining her arm around it like a vine and pulling it closer.  
_

_......_

 

Juliet silently opened her eyes. It was still night. She was lying on her side and felt James pressed against her back. His arm was loosely draped over her and her arm was wound up around his. She could feel his warm breath against her neck.

Sawyer mumbled softly as he adjusted his position after feeling Juliet tense momentarily at the presence of his body.

"Mmm, sorry- fell asleep on the couch." He said sleepily.

Juliet didn't reply but arched her head briefly in his direction in acknowledgement. Her face pinched slightly with the disappointment of her dream. Yes, Bill was gone but this whole thing was far from over. A bigger threat still lingered out there and it's ability to get inside peoples heads was not to be overlooked. Juliet stared at the wall listening to the soft sound of rain that pattered outside. Her eyes once again grew heavy and she drifted off safely surrounded by a dreamless sleep this time.

 ....

Sawyer groaned and rolled out of bed. The air felt muggy. The sun was up and so was Juliet. As Sawyer's glance hit the terribly dated carpet that he'd spent so much time cleaning yesterday he once again confirmed he was still in 1974. He rubbed his eyes and stretched like a kid. His shoulders were a bit sore but all in all he felt pretty good. He'd slept so hard when he'd finally crawled in last night that even an island shift wouldn't have been able to wake him. 

Sawyer walked down the hall- following the smell of freshly brewed coffee. Juliet was sitting at the table sipping her coffee her hand moved to cover a paper on the table. Sawyer's step stuttered when he noticed Bill's backpack at Juliet's feet. He assumed it to be the drawing of her mark but chose not to ask.

"Hey you" Sawyer said as he passed behind Juliet's chair and found himself a mug. He poured his coffee as she looked at him half over her shoulder with a gentle smile then bent down and slipped the paper back in the bag.

"Hey."

"Sleep alright?"

Juliet arched a brow in recollection of her nightmare.

"Good as could be expected. You?" She replied honestly.

"Better n you apparently. Whatcha doin?" Sawyer breathed as he moved over to take a seat beside her gesturing with his head at the bag. Juliet pushed a plate of toast towards him with a squinted smile.

"Just... looking. Jin was here. He went to get some tools to fix the chair. You heading to Sam's?" Juliet inquired.

"Yeh. Where's Captain Obvious?"

"Jin said Miles was going to swing by the station and offer up some overtime- guessing he wants to get a look at the tapes, make himself busy."

Sawyer nodded and listened as he ate a piece of toast.

There was a light tap on the door and both Sawyer and Juliet watched the bolt on the lock turn with a sigh of relief. It was Jin returning. He poked his head in and gave a tiny nod. Sawyer returned it with a nod of his own then stood up and took a second piece of toast with him, heading for the bathroom. Juliet stood up to clear her plate, slightly more wobbly than she'd meant to be and knocked her cane to the floor. Jin quickly moved to the kitchen and set down his tools to take her plate.  He picked up her cane off the linoleum in one swoop, handing it to her. Sawyer paused at the hallway and looked back at the sound. His look asked if Juliet was "okay"

She gave him a slow blink and an eye roll letting him know that she was irritated by her temporary handicap. He understood. It wasn't long ago that it was him. He gave her an "Oops" expression then moved into the bathroom and closed the door. The shower began running moments later.

Juliet softly thanked Jin and took the cane. Jin returned to his tools like it was nothing and she tried not to notice him watch her make her way to the couch. Juliet could feel that she was already walking better. This was good. She sat down and rotated her legs onto the couch. It was going to be a long day. She really had no idea what she would do all day- trapped in the house. Everyone had something on their list except her. And just like that, it was as though he heard her thoughts- James poked his head out of the bathroom- his toothbrush now hanging from his mouth.

"Hey Blondie, You really should read that novel. It's gettin' good." Then his face was gone again.

Juliet smiled at Jin as the two of them listened to him gargling behind the bathroom door. Jin flipped the broken chair and began to measure it - the old piece against a new one. Juliet watched him awkwardly for a moment.

Juliet's eyes met with the girl on the cover of the novel that lay on the side table. She reached out and pulled it to her lap. She drug the blanket off the back of the couch, not because she was cold but because she enjoyed the comfort in the feeling of it. She looked around briefly then opened to the first page-making a mental note of where James was in the book by the new folded corner.

_“News item from the Westover (Me.) weekly Enterprise,August 19, 1966: RAIN OF STONES REPORTED It was reliably reported by several persons that a rain of stones fell from a clear blue sky on Carlin Street in the town of Chamberlain on August 17th."_

_....._

 

Jin and James had both left- Juliet had been mindlessly swept away into her book for most of the day. It reminded her of when they first arrived here. When she had her own place. Before Bill. Before the smoke, before the hostiles. She actually felt safe, happy even. She missed reading; she would get back to visiting the book swap again. Juliet didn't recall why she had she stopped going. When it was time to take a break, she headed to her room to get dressed, she wanted to at least pretend she hadn't been in her pajamas all day by the time the guys got back.

She checked and changed her bandage and put on a tank top and a pair of blue sweat pants she used to wear to help Amy with small odd jobs or painting projects around the barracks when they'd first met. Another thing she needed to get back to: being helpful. Juliet hobbled into the bathroom and tied her hair back in a low ponytail then brushed her teeth, her attention was drawn to the bruise above her eye. She pressed it lightly drawing her attention to her wrists. She opened the cupboard and pulled out a stash of make-up that Amy had given her. She'd honestly gone so long without make-up that she really didn't know why she agreed to it at first. Now however, she was silently thankful. Juliet dabbed her face with concealer in a fairly successful attempt to even out her skin tone- then she moved to do the same to the skin on her left wrist. Her right wrist wouldn't be so simple- it was marred in broken skin and red scrapes. Her mind reeled back to the morning after the first time she'd done this.(covered up an injury) Edmund had followed her out of the office in a huff and into the stairwell at the end of the day. Juliet was livid because he'd been openly flirting with a new intern at a meeting and everyone had been watching. She remembered tears of frustration welling in her eyes _"Why are you trying to hurt me? Does it make you happy?"_ He'd grabbed her and as she pulled her arm back he'd pushed her at the same moment that her feet had reached the landing, She caught herself halfway but not before her face hit the concrete wall. He had laughed like she tripped on her own, called her clumsy and made a comment about it not being _his fault_ that she wasn't even " _trying_ " to look attractive anymore. He left her there and went back up into the offices. This bruise was nearly identical to her last- except on the other side.

A knock on the door jolted Juliet from her reflection. Her heart jumped into her throat. She grabbed her cane as she hear Amy's voice then quickly looked at her reflection in the mirror.  She could do this. She flipped the light switch and called out.

"Hey- Amy... I'll be right there!"

Juliet grabbed a long sleeve shirt of James's that was slung over the back of his chair and quickly discarded the cane. She slid the shirt on and made her way to the door. She glanced back over her shoulder, everything seemed in place.

Juliet opened the door and smiled at her friend.

"Good you're awake. I thought you might be resting. How are you feeling?" Amy said with sincere interest as she gestured to a Tupperware container in one hand. Her other hand held the clipboard with what was presumably the sub manifest.

"I figured you could use some chicken soup. Annnnd I also assumed that the guys would be starving with you not feeling well and not wanting to cook. hah"

She continued rambling as she looked Juliet over through the screen door. Her features were light but also observant. This would be harder than Juliet thought. Miles was right- she was suspicious about something.

Juliet pushed the screen forward and opened the front door wide in an offer for Amy to come in. She had to play this right or they'd have a lot of explaining to do.

"Thank you so much- You're absolutely right. They guys are out but they should be back soon. They will be grateful." Juliet said sweetly as she took the dish from Amy and moved it, and herself, carefully to the kitchen counter. Amy closed the door and followed.

"Are you doing laundry? I love the smell of laundry detergent in the house."

"Oh- James was trying to help, he may have spilled it in the hall." Juliet crinkled her nose believably and Amy chuckled. Juliet turned - leaning to use the counter as a secret crutch. Amy moved to the kitchen beside her and pulled out two mugs as if it were her own space.

"Tea?" She said.

"Don't be silly, I can do that." Juliet tried. Amy waved her off.

"Sit, I am completely capable of handling a cup of hot tea for my sick friend."

Juliet obeyed and sat, silently thankful to take the extra weight off of her leg. Amy handed her the clipboard and beamed a full smile at her.

"Oh, I almost forgot! I was going tell you but I then thought _"no, she'll want to see this"_. Look at number 8." Amy said then half- turned her back to Juliet and went back to heating a kettle on the stove. Amy was still watching  over her shoulder with a tiny grin as Juliet's confused look changed into one of honest surprise.

 _8\. Daniel Faraday_...

"Oh My God..." Juliet whispered as she felt a strange surge of emotion in her chest.

"That's one of you guys right? I wasn't positive... but I was pretty sure..."

"Yeh, Yes. He's our.. He _was_ our... scientist." Juliet let out a light laugh. She was suddenly excited. He's coming back. Maybe there was news! Daniel wouldn't come back empty handed would he?

"Well it looks like he's going to at least be stuck "here for the holidays!" He can probably just stay with the guys since they still have an empty bunk." Amy continued.

"I'm sure that would work out. I can talk to Miles and Jin tonight"

"Great, it'll free up a single house for the new Flame recruit for when Stuart gets that promotion to Head of Security."

"Head of Security? Isn't that Horace?"

"Yes and no, he's trying to get back into the science of island and the mathematics or something... He'll still be the main contact for Ann Arbor but just not directly worrying about security. If that makes sense?"

"I see." Juliet smiled attentively.

"Good for him."

"Yes, Plus it will free up more personal time." Amy blushed and the kettle whistled, saving her from having to share anything more personal about hers and Horace's clearly budding romantic relations. She poured the tea in silence.

"Uh huh" Juliet said in the knowing tone of a true girlfriend.

Amy arched her eyebrow with a mischievous grin and passed a mug to Juliet. Juliet reached with her right then quickly changed to her left hand. Amy's glance flickered as she stepped closer and nearly tripped on the bag still on the kitchen floor from that morning. _Bill's backpack._

Juliet quickly bent down to retrieve it and let out an involuntary wince at the flex in her thigh muscle. Her free hand gripped the edge of the table tightly. _  
_

"Woah... You  _okay?"_ Amy said reaching out and placing a hand on Juliet's back as she grabbed hold of the backpack in Juliet's hand. Juliet's eyes shot up and met Amy's and there was no denying the flash of panic in Juliet's expression. Amy's brow furrowed and she released the backpack. She stood there for a moment as Juliet swallowed hard and averted her gaze.

Juleit let out a huff of apology as she slowly zipped the backpack and dropped it on the floor to her other side.

"I'm sorry- just light headed. Guess I should've done that a little slower. I'm fine. really." Juliet said in an attempt to appear embarrassed.

"It's okay..." Amy said skeptically as she took a seat. The moment Amy sat down she noticed her chair was not sitting evenly. She looked down wobbled on it a few times before just assuming it had always been that way. She unclipped a notebook from the clipboard in front of Juliet and pulled out a pencil. Juliet sipped her tea as a casual distraction, making sure that the cuffs of James's shirt easily covered her wrists. 

"Right, so besides Daniel- who's coming and where can we put them?" Amy said changing her demeanor into business mode.

 Over the next hour they went through the list with no personal talk whatsoever. Amy had glanced up at Juliet a few times and Juliet thought she might say something- she wasn't sure what was going on in Amy's head.

Juliet heard the screen door open and key go into the lock.

_James._

She heard him mumble in frustration when he discovered that the door was not locked.

_"The hell? How many times I gotta say..."_

Amy shot Juliet a look. Clearly, she'd heard Sawyer's idle complaint- plus it was Amy who closed the door, and technically forgot to lock it.

Sawyer let the screen door slam and turned ready to snap about the door when his angry expression met Amy's calm one sitting at the table facing him. She arched a brow and crossed her arms over her chest. James's face contorted into a fake smile. From the look of it, James had not had a good day and it was only getting worse. His eyes flickered to Juliet who was staring at him with a look in her eye that let him know. _"The game is afoot"._

 


	57. Chapter 57

Sawyer headed to the station with a large brown paper bag containing Sam's camera tucked under his arm as but as he turned the corner he ran smack into Miles. Miles gave him a look and handed him a small piece of paper with Sam's house number on it over to him. Sawyer glanced at it then shoved it in his pocket. Miles jerked his head in a " _follow me_ " manner.

"Somethin' wrong with yer neck Chachi?" Sawyer said, suddenly suspicious. Miles started back towards the guys house with a deadpanned expression. He was not up for eye contact so Sawyer knew he was on the edge of freaking out over something.

"What?" Sawyer said through a slightly locked jaw.

"I dunno. Ok? I was able to clear some footage but I really can't do anything more until tomorrow. I _can_ tell you that _Amy_ was in this morning talkin' to Horace "privately" and when Jerry saw me and refused to make eye contact then left before I could probe.

"Well, hell- that could be anything.  You sure it ain't yer imagination?"

Miles sighed as they arrived at the house. He turned around to check the courtyard and make sure no eyes were on them then he continued under his breath.

"We need to find out. Maybe Juliet can talk to Amy- see what she knows?"

"No way. It ain't a good idea. It'll just raise more suspicion..." Sawyer said as he moved closer to Miles. Miles stood his ground and raised a brow at him clearly wanting him to rethink it.

"No! Damnitt.  Look, the sky ain't fallin' just yet Chicken Little and if all you got is a "feelin'" then I say we wait it out - cus no offense but last I checked- yer "feelins" only worked on dead people." Sawyer felt his voice raise then reeled his temper in dropping back down to a whisper

"Niiiice LaFleur, Thanks." MIles snapped as he rolled his eyes with an _"I don't know why I bother sometimes"_ attitude.

Sawyer huffed out his nose and adjusted the bag under his arm before pushing his hair back out of his face. He got the message and hated that insults came easier than reason to him sometimes.

"You know what I mean." He tried as an apology.

"Yeh whatever. All I'm saying is that we  can't  exactly "go  back  to  the  beach" if this thing blows up here. Juliet knows Amy- she might be able to help."

Now it was Sawyer's turn to sigh. He knew Juliet could help but hated the idea of putting her at risk.

"Alright. I'm headin' to Sam's.  I'll run it passed Juliet when I get home and we can iron out the rest over dinner.- In the meantime, will you at least _try_ not to act like you're hidin' somethin'?!"

"Yeh, fine... But I'm tellin' you..." Miles didn't  finish  his  sentence before  shaking his  head  and  going  inside.

.....

 

Sawyer turned and headed to the house number that Miles had given him. It was on the other side of the courtyard. As Sawyer approached he caught sight of Jerry walking the other way, back towards the station. He waited until he was out of sight then stepped up onto Sam's porch.

Sawyer was just about to knock on the door when it opened  and Sam stepped out holding the screen door for him. He was also watching the direction that Jerry had just gone.

"Mr. Lefleur... er.. Jim. Good to see you." 

"Snappy" Sawyer replied giving Sam a fake smile. The smell of weed wafted out lightly from inside Sam's house and Sawyer caught himself trying not to roll his eyes. _Yeh, he's definitely a friend of Kevin alright._

"You found it?" Sam said as he gestured at the bag under Sawyers arm.

"Yeh, here." He said, clearly irritated as he handed the bag over to Sam, his mind was still processing his conversation with Miles.

"Thanks so much, I really appreciate it. I'm glad you got to it before they cleaned out Bill's place." Sam stuttered awkwardly as he took the package. They stared at one another for a moment, it was obvious that Sam didn't know how to close the conversation because... he didn't.

"So... everything's okay with you and Juliet? Did you find anything at Bill's? I sure hope neither of you are too upset. I didn't mean start any kind of quarrel or hostilities..."

Sawyer looked Sam up and down briefly then tipped his head. His brows furrowed almost instantly as his instinct took over.

"Or what? Hostilities! What quarrel? The hell you talkin' bout?"

"UH... Let me explain..."  
"Yeh... Maybe you better." Sawyer growled as he looked around the empty courtyard half expecting this to be a trick of some kind.

"It's just that you _did_ seem pretty upset at the party and... people were concerned."

Suddenly, Sawyer lost his very short temper and shoved Sam inside his house. He followed him in and closed the door.

"Concerned? Concerned about what?! Spit it out Kodachrome. What do ya know?"

"O man, I apologize- it's none of my business. I mean... It's just a rumor... I'm sure it's nothing. Please don't hit me." Sam squawked as he looked down at the fist clenching the front of his tye dyed shirt.

Sawyer shoved Sam free and moved into his living room- he started shifting and searching through the beer cans, newspapers and laundry that covered Sam's coffee table as Sam watched in horror- having no idea what he was doing. Sawyer reached his hand under the couch and froze- his eyes moved back to Sam's as he pulled out a cookie tin and popped the top off of it. Inside was Sam's rather large stash of weed. Sawyer stood up and took a dramatic smell of it.

"No, wait... Okay! Okay look-" Sam ran his fingers down his face and plopped into a nearby chair in submission. He shook his head as Sawyer added verbalization to his threat.

"I'ma find out either way so you may as well tell me before a "rumor" gets out that you're the guy that was involved in not only aiding a stalker but the illegal distribution of _wacky tobaccy_ and who knows what other recreational drugs that might be deemed unfit for consumption around the barracks". 

"Awe Jeez man. Alright. I heard "a rumor" that Jerry talked to Horace who talked to Amy and said you were wasted on the night of the party. There was some sort of disturbance reported and Miles was at your place to calm you down... you were hollerin' about something- then the next day when Amy went over- you wouldn't let her see Juliet and... man... It was not me... okay? There's like this huge women's rights movement on the mainland right now and times are different than when we were kids, ya know? Folks are kinda hyper-sensitive about domestic altercations these days."

"Domestic... Sonofa..." Sawyer started shaking his head slowly.

Sam stood up uncomfortably and reached for a beer on the counter before taking a long swig. He stepped into his kitchen putting safe distance between himself and Sawyer before he continued.

"I know man, I get it. I work with this dude who still "squares his kid away" regularly. Man, I just hope whatever it was wasn't cus of the camera n all cus I'd feel bad is all. Juliet is a sweetheart of a person." Sam was rambling now- clearly afraid of the silence rolling off of Sawyer.

Sawyer's mind flashed to the kid he knew Sam was talking about. _Ben Linus,_ with his busted glasses and black eye that was standing at his door looking fer candy just days ago.

Sawyer's stomach turned. People were concerned with his temper and Juliet's safety.The damn Cowboy had been hiding in plain sight all these months and Sawyer wondered how many of Juliet's injuries had been noticed and assumed to be caused by him instead of Billy Boy. The worst part was- just the night before when he was considering the scenarios. He'd actually written down what they would need to do if Juliet's injuries were discovered and one of the first things to cross his mind was to lay the blame on himself because he knew everyone in Hippieville would believe it. It had been his first option. Though it pained him to think of having to create the reputation of a belligerent drunk boyfriend he knew it would end all questions quickly. The second and only other thing he could think of was to release "part" of the truth and hope for the best- which may very well get them all booted from the island and that was a risk he wasn't willing to take. He looked at Sam and let out a long breath.

"Thanks... fer tellin' me the truth." He said calmly in almost a whisper as he walked back towards the door. Sam's expression changed and he suddenly looked sympathetic _._ Sawyer was truly wounded by the idea that people so easily believed he would hurt a woman, Juliet especially.

"Of... course... it isn't true. I'm sorry man- I never believed it." Sam tried as Sawyer put the top back on the metal tin container and gently tossed it back at Sam before opening the door.

"Look, I won't say anything to anyone, honest. Just please... don't tell em about my stuff." Sam pleaded

Sawyer blinked slowly and gave Sam a nod.

"Appreciate the same discretion over our social visit today- if you don't mind. No need to add fuel to the fire."

"Oh, yes sir. Absolutely, I never saw you... and if I hear anything- I swear man- I'll set em straight."

Sawyer let himself out. He dropped off the porch and headed home- he felt suddenly drained.

As he walked home- Sawyer's mind was stuck on one face. His mother's. He felt his chest tighten at the idea that he was gunna have to lie to these people and play the part of a domestic monster, just like his father had been- in order to try and save them from an even worse fate of being discovered as killers. He pulled his key out of his pocket and put it in the lock but as he turned it - he realized that it didn't require a key.

"The hell? How many times I gotta say..." He said to himself out loud in frustration as he pushed the door open.

This was no time for Juliet to be leaving doors unlocked. Sawyer let the screen door slam, adding punctuation to how he felt. He looked up and his eyes met with Amy's. He instinctively shot her a fake smile before turning his attention to Juliet whose expression was one of moderated concern.

..........

Juliet felt Amy watching the non verbal interaction between her and James. Sawyer dropped his smile and closed the front door with an angry huff. Juliet's fingers moved to the cuff of her shirt as she turned towards him and tipped her head in a subtle attempt to say " _things were under control"_. He squinted his eyes non-verbally replying _"No, they ain't"_ His eyes darted around, stopping on the backpack near Juliet's feet then moved to up locking his gray blue eyes on hers. He could feel his temperature rising. His expression asked her _"Why the hell'd you let Amy in?"_

Juliet's features remained serious but all three of them felt the tension in the room.

"We were just finishing up." Juliet tried in both a warning tone and one that was trying to get him to calm down. He looked at Amy then flashed his dimples in an unconvincing manner. His words came out sarcastically. If Amy thought he was a threat, he'd show her one.

"Thought we agreed that I'd have Juliet call ya?" Sawyer said less than politely to Amy after a brief awkward stare down.

"James." Juliet said calling out his rudeness and completely in tune with the fact that he was in a bad mood.

Amy slid her chair back and stood up. Juliet shot her an apologetic look. Amy locked her jaw briefly then replied with her own sarcastic response.

"Yes, Jim. _you_ did but it looks as though she's feeling better, as a matter of fact, it _almost_ seems like things may have been exaggerated for some _other_ reason." Amy said before looking back at Juliet. Juliet closed her eyes and sighed.

"Is that so?" James said moving closer, rising to the challenge.

"James, wait." Juliet said turning towards him and putting a hand out She stood up with a small involuntary groan to get between the two of them. Sawyer flashed a look of concern as Juliet got to her feet. He felt his left fist clench and release. Amy sidestepped around Juliet and moved her hands to her hips.

"Yes, it is." Amy continued, unwavering.

"Amy. Please. " Juliet pleaded. Her eyes glassed over and the corner of her mouth twitched. Her tone finally caused Amy to snap out of it and she gave Juliet another look before nodding in compliance and reaching down to the table to gather her things. Amy's nostrils were flaring and she continued in a low voice.

"I know something is going on here."

James made a face and rolled his eyes.

"Yeh? Well, even if there were, which there _ain't!_... it wouldn't be any of yer business now would it, Nancy Drew?"

"James. Go." Juliet said seriously -nodding towards the bedroom.

"Wha? NO. She started it! Sweetness over there is tellin' everyone about things that AIN'T NONE OF HER BUSINESS" Sawyer snapped as the dent between his eyebrows deepened. If Amy wanted a rumor- he'd give her more than a rumor!

"Stop it." Juliet's voice shot solidly back as she moved into Sawyer's space. She reached to place her palms on his chest but he backed up. He couldn't allow her to touch him or the game would be over.

"Step out of my way Blondie. Little Sister and I got a few things we gotta discuss." Sawyer demanded- his chest began to heave but the look in his eye said something different. It was rage and apology mixed together. He was trying to tell her _"He had to do this_ ". She squinted at him and shook her head _"no"_ ever so slightly, pleading to him as it finally occurred to her what he was trying to do.

He reached up grabbing  Juliet's forearms pulling her closer in a purposely harsh way making sure to elicit a small gasp of surprise- so Amy would see it.

"Don't..." Amy pitched. She stepped forward, Juliet tipped her head up and looked Sawyer in the eye then pulled herself free and quickly reached passed him, moving to grab his notebook from under her novel that he'd left there the night before. Juliet turned and he turned with her as she slammed it into his chest with a look of determination, her nostrils flaring.

He instinctively caught it as she let go of it.  Amy gave a confused look and pursed her lips n anger as Sawyer opened the cover and read his notes. Juliet had crossed out one of his options and circled the other one. Sawyer closed his eyes and dropped his head. He looked up at her with an expression that could only be described as _"YOU don't have to do this."_

"Why don't you take a break, James. It's been a long day. Let me... talk to Amy." Juliet said lightly tipping her chin up to him. Her eyebrows were angled sympathetically. He couldn't argue with her. Something in his gut turned and he sighed in defeat. She wasn't going to back down. She needed to take over. This was his only option now.

Sawyer looked at the floor for a moment then took a step back and let out a shaky breath as he pushed his hair back. 

"I'll call Horace." He said weakly as he made a sideways glance at Amy then turned and headed to the bedroom. The door closed and both Juliet and Amy's attention were drawn to a repetitive pounding that came from behind it. They both knew that James was punching the bed in anger by the way the sound muffled. Four thumps later there was silence.

Juliet closed her eyes and sighed before turning her attention back to Amy.

"Juliet? What the hell is going on here? Are you alright? Did he hurt you?" Amy reached for Juliet's arm and pushed her sleeve up enough to reveal her wrist. Amy's eyes instantly watered as she shot a look down the hall and back to Juliet. Juliet reached out and grasped Amy's hand on top of her wrist gently.

"Amy...You're right. We haven't been completely honest with you and.... I'm sorry."

 .....


	58. Chapter 58

Juliet carefully broke free from Amy and moved to the kettle to pour more tea. She took her mug, filled it and passed it back to Amy with a motherly smile and a nod, her mind was focused, her expression unreadable.

"You'll probably want to sit." Juliet said softly.

Amy gave her a confused squint but complied and moved to the couch- taking a seat on the far end. Juliet stayed in the kitchen and busied herself by starting a pot of coffee. After a few moments Sawyer re-emerged and came out giving Juliet a nod that clearly let her know the ball was in her court. He dropped down in his chair with a sigh and leaned back in silent frustration. A few minutes went by before there was a tap on the door and Juliet moved to open it. Jin poked his head in and Miles trailed in after him. They both looked tired and a bit like they'd just been called to the principal''s office. Juliet wasn't sure what James had told them on the phone when he'd called them but she knew by their expressions that they were unsure about the rest of the night and possibly their lives. Everything would depend on what Juliet was about to say.

The corner of Juliet's mouth twitched and her eyebrows pitched for just an instant as if to silently let them know- _"Everything would be okay."_ She softly touched Jin's shoulder tipping her head towards the living room. She was giving off a very protective mother vibe and it seemed to working to calm their nerves at least somewhat.

Jin nodded at Amy and Miles watched Juliet instead as they both entered. Jin moved to pour himself a coffee and Miles sat on the end of the couch furthest from Amy- trying his best not to make eye contact. Jin picked up a kitchen chair moving it into the living room before returning for another. He noticed the backpack on the floor and his eyes moved up to meet Juliet's . She slow blinked at him with a tiny shake of her head. Jin nodded ever so slightly back and continued as though he'd never seen it.

The room was still- everyone lost in their own minds. Footsteps were heard on the porch and Sawyer immediately stood to open the screen door as Horace gave a greeting and stepped inside.

"Evening Jim, Juliet." He said as he entered. Sawyer nodded and Juliet smiled softly. Horace paused in honest surprise as he saw Miles, Jin and Amy. Sawyer closed the door behind him and gave a wide gesture for Horace to take his chair. Horace removed his hands from his pockets and pushed his glasses into the proper position on his nose then took a seat with a sigh.

"What can I help you folks with tonight?" Horace said in a smooth tone. His eyes moved around the room to each person- stopping on Amy, who was still looking somewhat pissed off but with an air of uncertainty now.

Sawyer was clearly not happy but was no longer red-faced or huffing. The hardest part about this might just be him keeping his mouth shut. He moved to the kitchen and grabbed a 3rd chair, dropping it down backwards and stepping over it like he was climbing into the saddle of a horse.

"Well Chief, we know we ain't exactly part of yer "circle of trust" but we need to discuss somethin' that we ourselves ain't exactly been truthful about." Sawyer started then stopped - the dent between his eyebrows deepened and he looked at Juliet and gave her a nod. 

Juliet moved as gracefully as she could manage and took a seat between Jin and Sawyer in one of the chairs they'd brought over from the kitchen.

"James is right. Since we've arrived here, everyone has been so .... welcoming and ... wonderful to us. Allowing us to stay, search for our friends, join the workforce. You've all been amazing. "

"I guess I don't understand. Are you unhappy? Were you thinking of leaving the island? Is that what this is about?"

"No. It's the opposite actually" Juliet quickly corrected him noting the opening in the conversation that she needed. Horace let out an audible sound of relief.

"But we do need to ask you about some things that we feel can no longer be ignored." She finished. Juliet paused, not sure how to begin when Horace leaned forward onto his knees and took over.

"That's fair.  Is it what happened with Bill? About the deterioration of his mental state before he disappeared? You're are angry that he's still missing." Horace stated as his eyes moved to rest on James. In turn Sawyer tipped his head, casually stood up, shifted his chair around to it's correct position and returned himself to it in a more formal manner _"Tread lightly!"_ Sawyer thought as he leaned in mimicking his boss. He exchanged a quick glance to his friends, noting that none of them were about to interrupt Horace now.  Juliet was clearly caught off guard by how freely he admitted that the change in Bill's behavior hadn't gone unnoticed by the rest of the Dharma Initiative. She was reminded of when she'd gone to talk to him about the guys at the Hydra and how Horace had basically told her everything she needed without her really even asking. She listened intently almost afraid to move for fear that a distraction might halt him.

"I'm afraid it is standard protocol for anyone exhibiting threatening behaviors to be detained until they can be transported off island. His escape was unfortunate but we simply don't have the resources to do more. This island was not randomly picked as the location for our research...It was carefully calculated. We are a scientific facility which means everyone here has a specific skill set. Whether or not they are here for research or as a supporting role- like Amy-or yourselves. Every person is an intricate part to keeping things moving forward. It is very important that the community not have anyone here that isn't here to help achieve our goals."

Amy decided now of times was the best time for her to interject her concerns. Temporarily derailing Horace's information train.

"That's right... and some people feel that there is another person here that is beginning to act more _hostile_ than is acceptable as well." Her eyes moved from the floor to Sawyer.

Sawyer immediately rose to the challenge.

"Now hold on sister, this ain't no intervention! As it so happens, I've always had a temper-and I ain't prouda that... but it's a fact!" He sat up straight in his chair and Juliet reached a hand over, lightly resting it on his thigh. His attention was instantly distracted by her touch and he locked his jaw-complying and letting Juliet continue for him.

"Amy. This isn't about James. We... found something... in the jungle... Well, I guess I should say that something found us... That night, on our way back from the hostile camp. Something, unnatural. Aaaand it found us again-yesterday. Outside the fence." She lied.

Horace stopped moving for a moment then nodded along soaking in Juliet's words. Amy looked at her then dropped her head before looking to Horace.

"I assume by your both of your surprised expressions that you and possibly every other person on this damn island is aware of this threat besides me and _my_ crew?" Sawyer said sarcastically.

Miles and Jin watched with interest. They had quietly determined the direction that Juliet was taking them and this conversation could prove to be a pivotal learning evening for them if they played it right. She was directing attention away from James and Bill and onto the "Man in Black" or whatever it was. Clearly, they were already aware of it's existence. This was the entire reason they'd been keeping their encounter a secret, waiting for the opportunity when it might benefit them.

Miles took the opportunity to be inclusive and regurgitate the term that Stuart had used when they'd seen Bill out at the fence with the black smoke. Miles gave Jin a deadpanned look then focused his attention on Horace.

"We've seen it too, on the security tapes. Stuart called it "cerberus activity"? He said as a flat toned fact. Jin nodded in agreement.

Horace however was only half listening. He was suddenly very interested in the fact that Juliet had said they'd encountered it. He seemed oddly confused with an underlying excitement as well.

"All of you have? Did it approach you? Did it.. communicate? This information could be very useful to the Dharma Initiative if you'd be willing to share."

Horace was moving to the edge of his seat. Juliet's instinct told her to leave Miles and Jin out of this.

"Not all of us- just us... and Bill." Juliet said referring to herself and James before giving Miles and Jin a quick glance.

Amy's eyes had grown wide.

"You _do_ know about it?" Juliet half questioned and half stated.

"Yes" Amy replied cautiously checking with Horace as he nodded along guiltily. She continued.

"But... we don't know anyone who's encountered it in person that... has lived to tell about it."

Horace nodded and took his glasses off- cleaning them carefully before replacing them across his nose.

"You see... As together as the Dharma Initiative is, we haven't been here that long ourselves- and the first few years were difficult. We were still building and learning the different properties of the island. The Cerebus activity combined with the hostiles- well, let's just say, we've lost a few people in our quest for answers. The fence was put up once we realized that the cerebus activity was detoured by sound waves. It was a major discovery. "

Sawyer was now actually a little pissed off that they'd never been warned.

"Wait a sec Chief! You knew all this and never thought it might be a _good idea_ to debrief your "security team" about it?" Sawyer's hand shot back through his hair as his brow furrowed.

"How the hell you expect us to do our job if we ain't got any details about the threat that is right outside that fence!?"

"Now Jim, calm down. I understand you are angry. To be honest, we didn't expect you and your crew to fit in so well- nor did we foresee you staying on the island for an extended period of time. We assumed you'd just be maintaining the standards here in the barracks. I'll admit I should have informed you of the level of security you'd be asked to preform and I apologize. Security is not my business."

"It ain't yer business?!" Sawyer reached down and took Juliet's hand which had once again made it's way to his leg to try and calm him. He lifted it up and pulled the cuff of her sleeve gently away to reveal her marred skin. Horace and Amy both stared at the injury as Sawyer continued. His temper may actually serve him well in this situation and he was not about to stop now.

"Let me tell you H. I'm makin' it yer business- cus IT has made itself mine!"

"Is that from the....? It.. touched you?"

"Yer swirling cerebral cloud of darkness? Yeh- so why don't you tell me why we ain't dead?"

The room was quiet a few moments.

Horace closed his eyes and let out a slow breath before retraining his focus on Sawyer.

"I... don't know."

Sawyer released Juliet and she carefully pulled her sleeve back down before moving her hands to her own lap and beginning to lightly fidget her fingers. Horace looked at Amy then stood up, pacing 2 long times across the room before breaking the awkward silence.

Juliet spoke calmly and looked at both Amy and Horace with an expression that any person would have a hard time denying. It was sympathetic and genuine.

"What exactly does the Dharma Initiative do here? I think we've earned the right to know that much."

Horace nodded.

"Yes, I'd say you have as well... Have you ever heard of the Valenzetti Equation?"

No one moved. Horace continued taking their silence as a _"no"_.

"Well, I am going to tell you, since you are right and it is clear that you understand the strangely unique properties this island possesses." He said it as almost a warning that the conversation was about to take a technical turn and even he wasn't sure he was going to be able to explain.

 _"_ The reason we're all on this island isn't just to study the brain waves of dolphins and polar bears. It isn't just to be isolated from the mainland. There's a theory that we believe begins and ends here that we're attempting to disprove. It's a complicated mathematical equation.  The Initiative's main goal is to manipulate scientific laws in order to change any of the six factors of the Valenzetti Equation. It's a sequence of numbers that is believed to have some connection to the date marking the end of humanity,we are here in hopes of delaying such a date."

Sawyer actually laughed out loud. Horace looked at him in stone cold seriousness and Sawyer dropped his smile.

Sawyer's brow squinted. "You're serious? So it's what?  Some sorta mathematical doomsday code that yer tryin' to break?"

"Yes, Jim... something like that. As of yet- no one has been able to change any of it's variables to result in a new answer."

"I see. So yer sayin' Whatever Happens- happens?" Sawyer replied in an oozing sarcastic tone- as Daniel's words made their way out of his mouth. The expression that Horace gave him was ironically also very Daniel-esk~ it was a _"You can't possibly know how difficult this would be to explain_ " look

"Well, hell that's just great!  Reads like a damn T-Shirt don't it? annnnd aint nothin' nobody can do that's gunna change the outcome of what yer "equation" is? That right? Pardon me if this don't sound like a broken record. No okay hold on... If that's yer theory then me and my crew must be here for a reason right?"   He glanced around the room. Everyone was watching him, Miles's face was the easiest to read. His expression screamed panic _._

"Yes, I guess essentially that is true." Horace replied steadily in an attempt to calm down the rant that Sawyer had just taken off on. _  
_

Juliet also read everyone in the room's features and picked up the conversation safely turning it back in the proper direction. She started with James then let her eyes move to Horace.

"Ok. Okay. Thank you for sharing Horace. In all honesty, we were doing our best to keep our heads down and not interfere with the work of the Dharma Initiative. It's clear that you have a very big project on your hands. Annnd we realize now that we were withholding important information. I hope you will except _my_ apology on _our_ behalf. We'd be happy to cooperate with any investigation or questions you might have regarding our island experiences outside the fence". Juliet spoke like honey and gave a soft smile. Amy smiled at her politely and gave her a nod that it would be okay.

Sawyer huffed as though he found the whole conversation humorous and ridiculous but underneath the truth hit him full on.

"And thank _you_ for coming forward-I  would like to discuss the matter further, perhaps I can set up meetings with both of you in the morning?" Horace said referring to Juliet and James as he stood up. Amy also stood up and carefully moved to the door.

"I'm glad we were able to hash through a few things and have this meeting." Horace said looking to Amy for validation that there was no need to pursue her fear that Jim had hurt Juliet. Amy gave him a nod turned to stand before James.

"Anddd I'm sorry I.... may have thought the worst of you and I ... also apologize."

Sawyer flashed serious dimples and tipped his head to Amy in silent acceptance of her apology.

"I appreciate yer concern Shortcake but I promise ya, I ain't what needs worryin' about here." Amy nodded and moved to give Juliet a quick hug then headed to the door.

"Right, well then... I need to talk to my superiors and team members to discuss how we can move forward considering the seriousness of the situation as well as the breach of security. I apologize but it is protocol for any and all "incident's" of this nature to be reported."

Sawyer's eyes shot to Juliet and rolled his neck in frustration before his jaw locked silently saying _"This might not work after all"_   Just as Sawyer was about to object, Juliet moved in front of him and turned towards Horace.

"Of course. We understand. Whatever you decide." Juliet answered solidly.

Horace and Amy left together and Sawyer walked them to the door closing it with a thud then turning back to his team. The 4 of them exchanged a moment of silence in acknowledgement that they may very well have just bought their own tickets off the island after all.

 


	59. Chapter 59

Miles moved to peek through the curtains as he watched Horace and Amy cross the courtyard and stand in front of Amy's place talking under the porch light.

"They aren't going inside." Miles stated.

"They look pretty serious" He continued.

"What if they figure out..."

"Shut it Ghengis, I need to think!" Sawyer said with a sigh as he grabbed his notebook and moved a kitchen chair back to the table to sit down.

Jin also moved to the kitchen returning his chair and watched out another window.

Juliet said what they all were thinking.

"Do you think it's enough?"

"I dunno  we'll need to fill in everyone's stories. As far as they know- you two ain't involved." Sawyer growled as he turned towards the window gazers.

Juliet sat down gently moving her leg into a more comfortable position. Her head was beginning to ache. It did seem too easy.

Sawyer turned towards Miles.

"Awe. C'Mon! Stop bein' a damn Lookieloo! Right now you two needa go home so they see you leavin' and it don't look more suspicious."

He looked at Juliet and stretched his neck, eyebrows arched high, silently asking for Juliet to agree. She was staring at the tacky flowers on their cheap tablecloth, lost in thought for a moment when she felt him staring at her. She shot him a look of apology that she hadn't been listening then dropped the news she'd found out just before this whole thing blew up.

"Daniel was on Amy's sub manifest." She said stoically, blinking slowly as her eyes made their way around the room.

"What!?" Miles blurted, moving away from the window.

"Seriously? That's good right? Maybe he knows something that will get us back?" Mile's eyes darted around he was clearly having a parallel internal conversation."

Jin's face was less obvious but he was also clearly surprised.

Sawyer was watching Juliet but his mind instantly flashed to his friends, lingering on Kate's face before he was able to shake the vision free and focus. When his eyes met Juliet's he found he was suddenly mad at himself. Her expression had a twinkle of hope and sadness as well. His brows furrowed and let go of a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

The room went silent as they all absorbed the possibilities before Juliet brought them "back to business"

"Amy asked if he could bunk with you and Jin again since you have an extra bed and..."

"Of course." Jin interrupted calmly as though it shouldn't even be a question. Daniel was part of their team.

Juliet nodded and gave a weak smile before releasing a sigh of her own. She looked at James who was still sitting in shock- there was something behind his blue eyes that was like a storm brewing.  An unrest she couldn't pinpoint. His jaw was locked and she took it upon herself to get things moving forward again. She knew this news could derail their current situation quickly. 

"James is right- You both should go. We can call you later with more details...once we figure them out." She echoed James earlier sentiment that the guys needed to go.

"Yeh, alright " Miles agreed, clearly numb. Jin nodded and headed to the door before pausing to turn back.

"The Temple." He said simply. Both Juliet and Sawyer gave him a look of mild confusion, unsure of his direction.

"The monster, I think... it lives there." Jin said flatly, bringing them back on task.

Sawyer squinted at him then nodded in understanding, he picked up his pencil and started putting together random words, as though he were an author brainstorming a new novel he looked up, dimples flashing only briefly as he loosened his jaw.

"Thanks Jinbo- Yeh... that could work." Sawyer said before moving back to the notepad in front of him.

"Wait? You're making an outline?!" Miles said as he moved to see over his shoulder, clearly irritated that they really didn't have a story already put together before all this happened.

"Things...happened alright Enos! We didn't exactly get a chance to discuss "plan B" before Strawberry Shortcake started pokin around!"

"James..." Juliet tipped her head her eyebrows pitched. He sighed apologetically, knowing Amy was her only friend on the island.

"I know... Alright? That ain't what I meant Blondie, I just wish we'da had another day to get things sorted through's all."

"I warned you." Miles said shaking his head before heading to join Jin at the door.

"Yeh Yeh, This ain't the time for I toldja so's! Go home, we'll call ya tonight. Hell, we may not even have to do a damn thing! The sub gets here in 2 days, For all we know "the Professor" has a way to invent a coconut time machine."

Jin ignored Saywers sarcasm, knowing it was his coping mechanism when things were out of his control. He nodded at Juliet and took the lead- heading out the door. He casually walked out onto the porch before giving a short goodnight wave to Horace and Amy across the courtyard. Amy and Horace returned the gesture and moved inside Amy's house.  Jin's eyes slowly glanced back to Miles as he came out, pulling the door closed behind himself irritably following Jin back to their house.

.........

Sawyer and Juliet sat at the table as Sawyer continued his outline stating the timeline and going over things they needed explanations for.  They repeated, tweaked and debated the loopholes and together the two of them filled in the story. They went over their point of views out loud to avoid any errors in continuity. Sawyer had turned the lights out after a short time to imply that they had gone to bed- for anyone that was watching from the outside. Sans a small table lamp, they sat there in near darkness recreating the night of Halloween and "Fishing day". Juliet drifted off into her head several times and Sawyer had reached for her hand across the table more than once. They'd both paused numerous times with clearly conflicting emotions over what had really happened. But they moved forward... together.  Finally, Juliet let out a sigh, stretched as much as she dared and stood up, limping softly over to peek out the window.

"Ya okay?" Sawyer whispered. Juliet turned back to him and nodded before retraining her attention across the darkened courtyard.

"Lights are out. It's late. We should call the guys- I think we've sorted through just about everything we can." She gave him a weak smile and moved over to rest her hand on his shoulder.

Sawyer nodded and reached to pick up the phone. "Yeh. I'll fill em in. Go 'head- I'll be in in a few minutes." He replied lifting his chin towards the bedroom as he dialed the telephone. He knew he was exhausted and Juliet was clearly still recovering at a snail's pace. She gave him a long slow blink and headed down the hall.

Flipping back to his first page of notes, Sawyer brought the receiver up to his ear and held it with his shoulder as it rang- he marked the highlights of what the guys needed to know as he told Miles their parts. After he hung up he took the pages out of the notebook, moved over to the stove and turned it on, carefully he tore out the stack of sheets, lit them, dropped them into a cast iron frying pan that was on the burner and watched them become a flame then singe into an almost instant white-gray ash. Sawyer leaned down and picked up the backpack from the floor.  Dumping it across the table. He sifted through the photos and negatives gently, separated what he would need then returned to the stove to light the rest of the evidence on fire and watch the flames melt with the chemicals of the photo paper in a color filled dance as they bubbled and flickered into extinction.

When there was nothing left he smothered the last of it with a lid and turned towards the bedroom. He was surprised to see Juliet leaning against the wall watching him silently. A sadness still etched on her face. He'd remembered seeing this same sadness when she'd arrived on the beach with Jack all those months ago. He slid the remainder of items back into the bag and tossed it on his chair before moving in to embrace her. She was wearing one of his t-shirts. She smelled so good as he rested his cheek against her hair.

...........

 

_The sun had officially ducked behind an expanse of darkening clouds. The air was humid. A prepubescent teen with shaggy blond hair and a mischievous smile sat on a stump near a tiny lake. He looked down at his young water-logged hands as the sounds of another boy gleefully yelling echoed in through gully followed by a loud splash. He looked up as the knotted rope that his friend had just jumped from swung idly passed him. He couldn’t help but let out a amused huff himself. He stood up and wiped his hands on his wet cut-off jeans that served as his swimming trunks and climbed up onto a series of rocks in the same manner his friend had just done. The boy grasped the rope and waited for his buddy to reach shore then he jumped and hooked the arches of his feet onto the knot at the bottom of the rope. He swung out over the water as a spike of adrenaline shot from his toes up through his fingertips. He let out a howl of carefree fun and plummeted into the cool water. Opening his eyes as his body rocketed down into the murky depths, he looked up at the way the light played in distorted waves above him. The clouds swirled darkly, like smoke, in the ripples he had created._

_He closed his eyes as he felt his body begin to float back up on of it's own accord and a strange sensation overtook him. He felt his limbs grow heavier and his body stretch as he reached the surface. He broke through and took his first breath, pushing the water from his face and shoving his hair back. His face... there was a beard there now. He felt a twinge of panic as he spun around in a circle in disbelief. The sky was bright, no longer a cloud in sight and he was no longer in the little lake, that was just walking distance from his home. He was in the ocean- an unmistakably blue crystal clear ocean.  
_

_Sawyer turned until he saw the plane- engulfed in black smoke sinking into the abyss. His heart suddenly raced in his chest. His eye caught sight of the white sands of the beach and his body- as if on auto-pilot began to propel him in that direction. There was no one else. No sounds of screaming, no floating bodies. Just him. As he pulled himself from the heavy water the waves pushed irritably at the backs of his calves, urging him forward. He walked up the beach a ways but when his eyes glanced back to the ocean- the smoke was gone. He squinted at the sun and trudged on until he saw a bright blue checkered picnic blanket that was laid out near the treeline. His first thought was of the blue tarp he'd once used for his shelter.  
_

_As he grew closer he realized no one was there. It had been abandoned. Where were his friends?  He stopped and hollered.  
_

_"Anyone home?!"_

_He turned slowly as someone called out with an accent he knew well._

_"This way! Hurry!"_

_Sawyer's face scrunched as he snapped a nearby branch from it's tree and followed the voice irritated at not knowing what was going on._

_"Jin? Sonofa...the hell are ya?"_

_Sawyer cut through a brush and found their baby blue VW security van, engine running. Maybe he'd fallen asleep in the sun for too long while out of shift.  
_

_"Miles?" he called out cautiously.  
_

_He rounded the van and tossed the stick aside- exchanging it for a rifle that was resting against the back seat. He reached in and turned the van off. Last thing they needed was to run out of gas. Who knows where the hell they were. The rumble and clacking sound of his least favorite entity on the island suddenly made it'so presence known._

_Sawyer spun as he heard her scream his name._

_....._

"James?" _  
_

Sawyer flew upright. Sweat forming on his brow. 

Juliet looked over from her seated position on the bed with an apologetic expression.  She was putting on her shoes.  

"It's almost 8." 

Sawyer pushed his hair back and squinted at the morning light coming through the window.  He grunted and gave her a nod.  

"Time to put the cat back in the bag" he said sarcastically. 

Juliet smiled.  

"Daniel gets here tomorrow, could be that this will be the last time we'll have to lie."

Sawyer huffed.  

"Yeh..."He shook his head.

  _Boy did he want to believe it_

....

 

 

 

 

 


	60. Chapter 60

                                                                                          page 1                                                                     

_Incident Report Cerberus Activity 042,  Mon. 3 Nov, 1974: Written by: James LaFleur, Dharma Security Team Member_

__

_"11/1/74 - Headed north to the beach, ~~took~~  via van #4 at just before  ~~6am~~  0600 for a day long fishing trip with Jin- ~~Soo~~ Kwon, Miles Straume and Juliet Burke. _

_After reaching the beach we headed west towards an inlet that Jin suggested was a good fishing spot. He had seen it while on patrols in the area._

_The sky was overcast and starting to sprinkle by 0800 but we chose to give fishing a try ~~since it was for Jin's birthday, which as It turns out ain't even until Nov. 27th!! but by the time we learned that we were already out.~~_

_We did not set up camp._

_The rain stopped and by lunch we'd only caught a couple snappers. We ate sandwiches in the van then me and Juliet split off from Jin and Miles to take a short walk while they headed back to the beach to try net fishing._

_I took the rifle in case we ran into any "hostiles"._

_We walked for a bit then we started seeing some type of old ruins. Like a what used to be a wall maybe. The trees were dense in the area. Juliet had stopped to look at the stones but I hadn't realized it until I heard a loud crashing noise and turned back and she wasn't there._

_There was a low rumble sound and the ground felt like it was moving. The sound got louder and the wind kicked up._

_I called for Juliet... that's when I ~~seen~~  saw it. A large plume of black smoke hovering off the ground - ~~maybe~~ 20 yards from me- coming out of a dark hole beneath a section of broken wall._

_I don't think it saw me because it moved away from me._

_Juliet yelled my name and I ran after it- following her voice just in time to see ~~"that thing"~~  the "Cerberus Activity" coil around her and sweep her feet out from under her. It started dragging her by her leg and I chased after them. _

_I aimed my rifle but didn't want to hit Juliet so I fired it in the air. The ~~smoke mon~~   ~~Cere~~  Cerberus Activity stopped for a second then drug her about 30 yards further- so I fired again._

_As I gained ground I could see it was a small cliff edge. Juliet was reaching up to try and pull her leg back. ~~Ol' Smok~~  The Cerebus Activity stopped made a screeching noise then whipped her body towards the edge ~~like a damn rag doll.~~ It let her go and she went over. It flashed these ~~crazy~~  white lights like electricity and made this clacking noise then changed course and headed along the ridge line. _

_I yelled for her again and she called back as I ran to the edge. She was hanging onto the ledge just above a 30 ft drop by a grouping of vines - her feet were barely keeping traction on the wet rock wall._

_I laid on my stomach and stretched but couldn't reach her so I rolled over and removed my belt. I made a loop then sent the buckled end down to have her loop her wrist so I could pull her up._

_Juliet was able to adjust her footing enough to reach up and loop her right wrist, took a couple tries but I was able to get her up._

_Her leg was bleeding and I used my shirt to tie a make-shift bandage then I tried to carry her back to the van but she kept insisting that it was slowing us down and that she was "fine" so I put her down and we walked until we heard Miles calling for us. Once we hooked up with the guys I ~~calmly~~ explained what had happened and we headed back to the van.  We used the First Aid kit in the van to patch up Juliet's leg and then we ~~got the hell out of there!~~ headed back to the barracks._

_Juliet decided her injuries weren't bad enough to warrant a trip to medical but looking back on it - we probably should've gone in to have her looked at anyhow. She was ~~being stubborn"~~  sure it was "Just a few scrapes"._

_And that was that. We got home about dinner time._

_We were going to talk to security about it but due to ~~nosy friends~~ suspicious activities by fellow Dharma members we didn't get the chance ~~before being accused~~ before saying anything. We didn't want to start any rumors around the barracks before talking to Horace. ~~Like this place ain't already hard to keep any type of privacy!~~_

_As a side note: Me and Juliet - along with Bill Barstowe, from the Motor Pool, had seen this ~~Towering Plume of Doom~~  Cerberus Activity once before but it was out near hostile territory and it had been months. At that time, we weren't sure if it was some sort of weather oddity-or maybe the hostile's pet "security system". It tossed Bill in the air and ~~scrammed~~  took off when Bill fired a rifle at it. He didn't hit it then either,  he shot me in the leg instead. Either way, ~~ain't no one ever mentioned it before so~~  I felt it best to keep it to myself until we could find out more.  (Bill and Juliet didn't remember it due to head injuries they'd gotten.) Pretty sure there's a medical log of that someplace._

 

 

                                                                                      page 2                                                                                

  _Incident Report Cerberus Activity 042,  Mon. 3 Nov, 1974: Written by: Miles Straume, Dharma Security Team Member_

_Saturday, Nov 1st._

_For the record: I have never seen "Cerberus Activity" - Jin and I have witnessed it on security camera footage near the pylons and at the Hydra Station so we knew it existed but seriously, something we should have been warned about._

_I 'd slept on LaFleur's couch because Juliet called me that he drank too much at the party- and she needed help moving him, I stayed because I was too tired to come back over if she called again. I went back to my house in the morning and woke Jin then headed to the boat house to gather fishing supplies._

_We had planned to leave early and make a day of it but let me tell you... no one was in a great mood. It is not my fault LaFleur was hung over and Jin said his birthday was the 27th! (I'm sure LaFleur has blamed me for this whole mess somehow) Juliet and I came up with the fishing idea together - last minute -thinking we missed it. Like LaFleur was going to remember anyhow?! At least we tried._

_After lunch Juliet and LaFleur went for a hike. I told them it was a bad idea but, whatever. LaFleur had been an ass all day so I wasn't about to stop them._

_It was raining on and off. Jin and I finally caught some fish not to mention- peace and quiet._

_Sometime in the late afternoon we heard 2 gunshots.  We gathered up our stuff and headed out in the direction LaFleur and Juliet had gone._

_When we found them, LaFleur was hollering obscenities. Juliet was limping._

_He said they were attacked by a "bleeping* bleepity* bleeping* black cloud of smoke and we needed to get the bleep* out of there"... And we did._

_Jin drove the van and Juliet used the First Aid kit to bandage her leg._

_We had decided to talk to Horace about it on the way back- but  then Amy showed up right when we got back and then the next morning she was already "privately speaking with Horace" the whole thing ended up blowing up before we got the chance to report it "officially"._

_Again... Not my problem, not my fault._  

                                   page 3                                                                                                                    

  _Incident Report Cerberus Activity 042,  Mon. 3 Nov, 1974: Transcribed by: Horace Goodspeed from AUDIO FILE 006 : Jin Soo Kwon-  Dharma Security Team Member_

_Testimonial_ _taken via audio recording due to language writing barrier:_

_Jin Kwon***begin recording***_

_"I did not know we were planning to go fishing until day after Halloween. I tell Miles at party my Birthday was 27th. We have had some beer but assume he understand it to be the next 27th._

_I like to fish and know a spot I want to try so I am agreeing and go with him to LaFleur and Juliet house before dawn. Best fishing is early morning and we all have day off._

_We head to west island alcove and have not much luck trying to use pole. Light rain is good, heavy rain make it harder. We have both. Only catch 2 fish._

_LaFleur was... how do you say? "grumpy?"- he have had a bad previous night and lack of sleep. After lunch he and Juliet take hike and Miles and I switch to net. Much better result with net fish!_

_After some time we hear "bang"  then again "bang" . We look to one another and pack up quickly our fish and nets. We take 2nd rifle from van and walk toward jungle. Miles call for "LaFleur"_

_They call back and we find Juliet has injury and LaFleur is very high anger._

_LaFleur describe us a "black smoke" I am sorry I do not understand other word he say-...he is very angry. I have seen "black smoke" on video and understand what he mean._

_We go back to van and I drive us to barracks. Juliet seem okay - just shake up. We decide: Yes, we tell Horace at first chance. We are home at dinner time and I go to clean fish. Amy arrive to visit to Juliet and LaFleur tell her to come back the next day because we have not chance to talk to Horace and he want her to go away. We eat fish for dinner and Miles and I go home._

I _get call next day to come to LaFleur house and we all sit with Horace and Amy. We learn that many people know of smoke- but we do not. Again LaFleur is angry but we agree to come give statement today._

_That is all. Thank you."_

_***end recording***_

 

                                                                                         page 4                                                                                     

 

 

  _Incident Report Cerberus Activity 042,  Mon. 3 Nov, 1974: Written by: Juliet Burke, Dharma Motor Pool Member_

 

 

_Miles stopped over after the Halloween party to help me with something and told me we had missed Jin's birthday. We came up with a plan to take him fishing-it's one of Jin's favorite things. I borrowed a van after hours and parked it at my house so we could leave first thing. We left notes on our doors as to our whereabouts. James didn't know we were going until morning and was a bit reluctant but agreed to join us._

_I made sandwiches for lunch, since the weather looked as though camping might not be an option, and we left just before dawn._

_The morning was uneventful. The location was beautiful, even with the intermittent rain and James asked if I wanted to go for a walk. He sounded as though he wanted to talk so we left Miles and Jin shortly after lunch._

_We ended up on a footpath that led towards the jungle from the beach and that's when we discovered ruins. They seemed to have once been a wall and I bent down to have a closer look. James wandered off ahead of me._

_I felt the ground shaking, like a small earthquake.  I looked up and didn't see James so I stood up and headed the direction he went. A train-like noise started getting louder and louder and then I saw a cloud of dark smoke hovering in front if me at least 10-15 feet high. I was frozen for a moment. It was some sort of entity. It moved towards me and I turned to run. I yelled for James and the smoke grasped my leg-the sensation was cold and felt almost like a vacuum pulling me.  I hit the ground on my front and it began to drag me. I flipped over and saw James begin to run after us. I saw him fire a shot ._   _It paused and I reached up to try to free my leg. (It felt like when your leg falls asleep and gets tingles but the tingles were running through my whole body as we went.) It starting moving again as James fired a second shot- this time he was closer and I heard it. The creature stopped then I felt my entire body twist as it left the ground and was instantly thrust over a ledge. Luckily, I went over feet first - facing the edge and I was able to grab on just below the ridge. James hollered and the smoke sound slowly dissipated into silence. I called back and looked up as his arm came over the side. He wasn't able to reach me. He disappeared then re-appeared with his belt looped as he sent it down to me. I slid my wrist in and pulled it snugly. James was able to haul me back up, it was hard for him to get his grip until I was nearly to the top and able to reach his wrist._

_  
I think we were both in shock. James took off one of his shirts (he had a long sleeve over his t-shirt) and tied it around my leg which was bleeding. He instinctively scooped me up and headed back to the van. After a short ways I made him set me down to walk- My leg was hurting but we were moving too slow with him carrying me and I was worried that the smoke may return. Before we arrived at the van we heard Miles and Jin calling for us. We headed towards them and explained what happened._

_James suggested we talk to Horace before mentioning it to anyone - for security reasons. We all agreed there was no need to panic everyone. Amy unexpectedly showed up to go over the sub manifest just after we got home. I was in the shower at the time and James was irritated that we hadn't had a chance to talk to Horace yet so he lied to her. That was a mistake on his part - but he meant well. The next day Amy stopped back when I was the only one home. I wasn't sure if the guys had gotten the chance to speak to Horace yet so I didn't mention anything as we went over the lists for the incoming sub. Amy had noticed something was not quite right and had assumed that James and I had a fight. James came home and we called Horace as well as Miles and Jin to come over and we all sat down to discuss what we had seen._

_We agreed to meet and file formal reports Mon. Nov. 3, 1974_

..............

Juliet had left security and headed off to the Motor Pool. She smiled politely as a few men from the morning crews tipped their heads to greet her "good morning". She always felt like a fish in a bowl at this time of morning but it wasn't nearly as bad as when she'd first arrived, and of course she knew better now than to stop at the cafeteria for breakfast. Her leg was still hurting her but she had popped a few painkillers and was determined to make it through the day with some sense of normalcy. She would work on cleaning up invoicing today, aka: paperwork, so it would give her an excuse to keep off her leg.

She'd stopped by the security station early and filled out her incident report along with James. Jin and Miles had already been there and gone home to wait for their shifts to start.  The guys were scheduled to work late morning through dinnertime so there wouldn't be much chance to talk today.  

The security station was quiet when they'd arrived. Horace was there and no one else.  James was clearly relieved that the troops hadn't been called in over any of this... yet. Horace seemed as though it was just another day. He drank his coffee quietly reviewing some paperwork while Juliet and James had written their papers. He mentioned to Juliet that Amy asked to have her call her. Juliet had agreed. It was a definite loophole that needed tightening. She needed Amy to be with her 100% and she needed Amy to feel as though she were on the inside not the outside. It would be critical.  That and she didn't want Amy upset with her. It was an unnerving feeling placing all of trust into this plan, into the guys. She hadn't trusted in anyone but herself in as long as she could remember. Then again, there wasn't much choice.

She'd handed her paper to Horace- James was still scribbling away- the dent between his eyebrows furrowed in frustration and concentration. Horace watched as Juliet stepped up and placed her hand on his shoulder- James instantly let out a sigh and relaxed a bit. Juliet smiled and leaned in to plant a soft kiss on his forehead as he looked up. 

"See you tonight." She said softly before she gave Horace a final wave.

James had cracked a grin and watched her go with his best attempt to not look concerned. 

"You go it Blondie" he'd replied. 

........................................

 

Juliet had just left and Sawyer finished up his paper. He was watching Horace read over their reports from of the corner of his eye as Horace patiently sipped his coffee and waited. 

Sawyer groaned and stretched dramatically in accomplishment, slapping his pen down as he pushed his chair back and it screeched across the concrete floor. It was now or never. 

"Well Chief, Here ya go- to the best of my recollection." Sawyer passed the paper to Horace. 

"Thank you Jim.  For taking time to share your story. Again, my apologies for the lack of information, going forward I will do my best to make sure you and your team are aware of ALL presently pending activities-Also, I did leave a few files for you and the guys to read through on your shift today- regarding the "Cerberus Activity". Should help get you caught up on " _what we know_ ""

Sawyer looked at the shelf near the holding cell which had a stack of about a dozen files on it. Sawyer nodded in thanks. _Good! Working my way  into the "circle of trust!"_ He thought.

Horace continued... "Jim I know we may seem uptight to you but we are actually very excited to learn as much as possible about this entity* and any information helps us determine a possible reason it exists, why it does what it does, you understand?."

He stood up and reached out to shake Sawyers hand... Sawyer took it firmly, accepting the apology.

"If you don't have any questions you are free to go. I'll be transmitting the information to Ann Arbor for review and be in touch with any further questions." Horace stated

Sawyer started towards the stairs then stopped-  He let out a heavy reluctant sounding groan then moved instead towards the gun locker along the wall... He reached on top and turned his attention towards Horace

"And... now that that's outta the way I got somethin' more personal to talk to ya about... if ya have a minute." 

 

..................


	61. Chapter 61

Horace leaned back and set down the papers on the counter- he set down his drink and pushed his glasses up his nose.

"Alright Jim, what is it?"  He said coolly.

"It's about the party the other night. I got some information that was recently brought to my attention but I'd like it to stay "off the record" if at all possible. To be honest I ain't proud of the fact that I missed it in the first place."

"Okayyyy... Missed* what? What's on your mind?" Horace continued.

Sawyer pulled down the backpack that he'd carefully prepped the night before. He walked a few feet towards Horace and set it on the main table in the middle of the room. He looked over at Horace with what might be described as a bit of embarrassment backed by irritability.

Horace stood up and moved closer stuffing his thumbs into the pockets of his jumpsuit briefly.

"Does this have to do with why you were upset the night before the fishing trip Jim?" Horace inquired. Sawyer tightened his mouth in confirmation as his dimples disappeared into the scruff of stubbly cheeks. Sawyer ignored the question and moved on, beginning his story- which he was positive could later be corroborated by both Sam and Kevin if they were asked - They would unknowingly be his witnesses.

"Right. So- at yer Halloween shindig I got to chattin' with this guy, Sam? Ya know the guy that takes all the photos of the new recruits?"

"Yes, I know Sam. He works in maintenance on a regular basis. Nice gentleman." Horace said 

"Yeh, well he didn't know who he was talkin' to until it was too late and since I ain't one to get people in trouble- I'ma tell ya what happened but I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention it... officially."

"I'll do my best Jim, but if it regards security..."

"It ain't really a _"pending threat"_ Chief". Sawyer said as he frowned and emptied the bag onto the table. He gave a pause so Horace could look at a few photos, which- by Sawyer's hand- had been dwindled down considerably in volume and separated in content, the pile still included a lot of pictures of Juliet as well and every photo of Juliet and _Amy_ that was in the original bunch. (He had of course destroyed all negatives and removed the ones taken inside his house as well as the most recent ones which confirmed that Bill had been back to the barracks.)

"Sam took these?"

"Nope, but he did borrow his camera to a certain Grease Monkey a few months back by the name of Bill. Sam says he didn't have no idea what Bill was takin' pictures of and Bill had done all his own developing. He paid Sam a few bucks a month and Sam never asked. The man panicked after he heard about Bill losin' his damn mind' cus Bill still had his camera... and since he's friends with Kevin and Kevin knows me and I'm in security with access to get it back... yeh..."

"You... found this at Bill's house? on Halloween night?" Horace said with his eyebrows arched high. His fingers flipped through the stacks as he avoided eye contact. Horace was clearly a bit surprised by the fact that his Amy had also been having photos taken of her without her knowledge. Sawyer's plan was working.

"Yup, I hadda bad feelin in my gut about it and.. I wasn't wrong. Turns out Bill had some sketchy hobbies, likes spyin' on people when they weren't aware. Needless to say, I was angry at myself. Ya know? As a security member I shoulda had the right of mind to have checked out Bill's place sooner. I missed it. I'll be honest, I can't deny that I was just glad to have him gone and away from Juliet. I'm sure you can understand. "

Horace nodded then turned and walked into the holding room- he returned a moment later holding Sawyer's plastic pirate sword from Halloween. Sawyer sighed and tipped his head guiltily. This is exactly what he'd expected and he smiled on the inside that it was playing out just as he had imagined.

..........

  _The strap was caught in the top drawer and Sawyer pulled it open. He froze at what he saw staring back at him. It was exactly what he knew he'd find and what he feared seeing at the same time. A stack of photos in multiple sizes, from 3x3 to 5x7 all in black and white, and all of them having at least one thing in common, Juliet. Sawyer felt his nostrils widen and the dent between his eyebrows deepen in anger. He ripped the drawer from it's home and tossed it on the bed, shoving a few fallen strands of hair back as he angrily emptied the contents. He yanked his plastic sword from his waist to get it out of his way as he hovered over the pile of scattered pictures._

_........._

"Glad you told me Jim. Since we're being honest- I also 'stopped by Bill's' just last night after our chat, once you said he'd encountered the smoke I thought it might be best to see if there was anything in his belongings that might give me a better perspective. Unfortunately, it was clear that someone had been there before me - I didn't see anything on the video footage but you did leave this... " Horace gestured to the sword. 

Sawyer sighed heavily and leaned back on the table, crossing his arms and picking a spot on the floor to stare at for a moment. Silently he was thanking Miles for having been in to work after Halloween because he knew damn well the security cameras would've worked against them. he was trying his best to look distraught. He decided to remain silent in this situation, it always worked for Juliet and at this point there was nothing else he could say. He definitely hadn't reported it.

Horace set the sword down and returned to what must be by now- his cold coffee. With his back to Sawyer he continued.

"I think it would be just fine, Jim... if we kept this situation "off the record"... since it is of a rather personal nature. Don't worry, I won't bother Sam about it... He's a good fella." Horace turned back as Sawyers gaze rose to meet his... Sawyer nodded gratefully and slowly turned back to the table - he started laying out the photos in a chronological order, as though it were just a strange urge he'd gotten to organize them. He spoke as he lined each one up- looking at them as though it were a puzzle. He lingered on a few close-up shots of Juliet. Horace was definitely a math guy-he watched for only a moment then... as suspected he picked up a photo and placed it in the space between two that Sawyer had set down in accordance to the date stamped on the picture. He gave a tight smile.

"Thanks, Boss- I ain't denyin' I had a few drinks more n' I needed and looking back now- it's safe to say my temper may've gotten the best of me over it."

"Guess you know now why I don't usually partake in the alcoholic temptations. It can quickly turn into a burden. This is why Miles was at your house and you were hollering when Jerry came by that night? Why Juliet called him?" He asked rhetorically. 

Sawyer paused without looking up. Horace moved closer and patted him on the back. Sawyer felt his eyes rolling on the inside. He was sure Horace thought they were having "a moment"  Sawyer played along as Horace continued in more parental tone.  
  
"Jim, there was no way of knowing things could end this way. These photos are clearly the workings of an obsessive mind.  Perhaps Bill's behavior and deterioration _was_ somehow linked to the Cerberus Activity... Or... Maybe he just wanted something he couldn't have. It's a shame we may ever know but there's no reason to beat ourselves up over it. We have a lot of things that need watching over here. No ones perfect." 

Sawyer stopped organizing realizing Horace also felt guilty. He crossed the room and dropped down into a chair. 

"Yeh... strange though...we saw it too. The smoke. Me an Juliet don't seem to be going nuts. I mean anymore than we started out."

He gave a huff of self amusement then got back on track.

"I dunno what to think - could be that Bill's shell was cracked 'fore he got here. Yer right though-  ain't like we can just ask him."

"Very true Jim, Sadly it's been a week since Bill went MIA and at this point I don't hold much hope that he will turn up- circumstances pending." 

"Ya think "that thing" finished the job it started way back when we first ran across it?" 

"It is plausible." Horace state evenly.

This was good news. Clearly the consideration for Bill's return had been assessed and was now very seriously being considered futile. Sawyer let out a sigh. It might have been understood by Horace as one of frustration but it was actually one of relief. Before this conversation today Sawyer really had no idea what direction he and his team were being led. Now - his confidence was being restored minute by minute. Today was a good day.

Horace on the other hand looked as though his day was getting progressively worse. Horace stacked the reports on top of another set of files. 

"Once Miles and Jin arrive I would like if you could accompany me back to Bill's to collect the rest of his belongings - Afterwards you can take these pictures and have them put in Bill's file. You can send the rest over to the records dept. to be shipped back to the mainland and ask Heather to type out a "red letter" to Bill's family. "

Horace sighed heavily- clearly it was not the first time he'd had a letter sent back to the mainland in regards to someone who wouldn't be making it home. Sawyer frowned.

"The sub comes in in the morning and big things are going to be happening over the next few weeks- so when you get back here- please get in touch with Roger and have him prepare Bill's place for a new occupant. I will be calling a security team meeting tonight at shift change for everyone to go over the details of some of the guests and recruits that will be arriving tomorrow."

"Alright. Will do. " Sawyer stood crossed back to the table, he started shuffling the photos back together as Horace picked up a photo of Juliet and Amy laughing and having a morning coffee on Amy's front porch step. He shook his head and dropped it back in the pile. He was disappointed.  Sawyer understood the feeling.

 

.......

 

Sawyer stopped by the cafeteria briefly and grabbed himself and Juliet each an egg sandwich, he knew she hadn't had breakfast and she probably wouldn't stop by the cafeteria at this time of day. He was keeping his cool but underneath he was smiling from ear to ear- He couldn't help but feel a bit like he'd just won a high stakes gambling bet. They'd debated holding onto the photos last night...but something in his gut told him to lay it all out to Horace - and he had been right, if he hadn't brought them he would've had a lot more explaining to do.

He waltzed into the open garage with an egg sandwich in each hand just as he'd done many times before. The familiarity of the situation was comforting. Jackson Browne's "Doctor My Eyes" was playing on the speakers. Kevin must have seen his feet pass by because he rolled out from under a van holding a welding torch and flipped goggles up on top of his head. 

"Hey-O LaFleur, Juliet's in the office..." 

Sawyer gave him a grin and raised his chin 

"Thanks bud."

"Peace." He said tossing up two fingers before placing his goggles on again. He re-lit his blowtorch before disappearing back under the raised vehicle.

Sawyer poked his head in through the open office door. Juliet looked up from the desk behind a stack of papers with arched brows. He held up the breakfast sandwich and she smiled and tipped her head.

"That for me?" She said sweetly.

"Yup- didn't want you to miss out on delicious Dharma bacon, egg and cheese..." He moved in and held it out to her. Juliet gave an amused huff and accepted the sandwich.

"Thank you. Judging by your expression, things went alright?"

"They did. Better 'an expected.  I'll be headin' over to officially clear out Bill's place in a few minutes... The Bossman left me and the boys some readin' materials about stuff we ain't been privileged enough to know previously. And looks like Daniel ain't the only interesting person arriving tomorrow. We gotta "team meeting tonight to go over details"" Sawyer followed up his statement with a _"dun dun DUNNN!"_ suspense sound.

Juliet averted her eyes. She smiled weakly but had stopped on "Bill" and was no longer listening to Sawyer's news.

"Ya good?" He said when she didn't respond to his attempt at being funny.

"Yeh. I am." She said honestly. 

"I feel a shift in the tide, Blondie - things are definitely lookin' up!"

Juliet smiled more genuinely this time as she brought her attention back to the present. 

"I think you're right."

Sawyer leaned in and tugged at Juliet's collar- she tipped her head up and kissed her. She responded with a soft moan as he pulled away then licked her bottom lip lightly before biting on it in that way that drove him crazy.

"Yeah... you better go." Juliet replied. Sawyer nodded with a flirty growl and turned to leave. Juliet called for him at the door.

"James?  Amy's left over soup is in the fridge for dinner. I'm going to head over to her place after work and have dinner there since you'll all be gone late... it will give me a chance to do a bit of girlfriend damage control."

Sawyer slowly blinked in understanding- he'd kinda messed things up with Amy, he knew he'd have to try to get back in her good graces soon too.. 

Juliet watched him go and then reached for the phone and dialed Amy.

 _"Hello?"_  

"Hey~ Amy... It's Juliet. Just wondering if you had dinner plans?"

 _"Juliet!? No, no, I don't. I'm so glad you called... I thought you might be upset with me over Jim..."_ Amy's voice sounded honestly relieved and Juliet was glad to hear it.

 "Of course not. We never really got a chance to finish our conversation the other night. Would it be alright if I stopped by after work?"

_"Yes yes! I'll pull some chicken out of the freezer. Horace will be at the meeting with the security team tonight so he'll be gone anyhow, does that work?"._

"Sounds perfect, see you then."

 .........

 


	62. Chapter 62

* * *

.........

Sawyer and Horace headed back over to Bill's with a stack of assembled filing boxes in hand and a moving dolly. Sawyer hadn't had a chance to come back after Halloween and was really hoping this would be a routine situation. 

He couldn't help but replay the visuals of moving through this place after the party. It seemed different in the daylight. His heart had been pounding pretty fast and even now he felt the tiniest bit out of breath. The two of them started in the bedroom and boxed up Bill's clothes and personal belongings. Bill didn't have much which kept things simple. 

Sawyer emptied the dressers and sat down at the edge of the bed to open the bedside table drawer... again. He knew it was empty because he had emptied it but he did it for show. Horace watched him carefully as he moved around the room.  

Sawyer's chest tightened as he remembered pulling out Juliet's bandanna that the Cowboy had saved. He closed the drawer and Horace moved to the bathroom, seeming confident that nothing of interest remained in the bedroom. Sawyer could hear his stacking the photo trays and emptying the medicine cabinet. From the corner of his eye he saw a photo on the floor, half under the bed. He bent down realizing he'd missed it and that it had probably fallen off the bed in his fury the other night. Sawyer sat on the side of the bed, staring at the snapshot.

He had watched Billy Boy attack Juliet in his own place and wasn't able to do a damn thing about it, he'd felt like he was 8 years old but instead of hiding under the bed he'd been bound and gagged in plain sight to witness every move. He and Juliet hadn't talked about that night in any type of detail nor had he had time to really think about the events since they'd happened. To be honest, he'd initially had a hard time remembering how the night had ended. It was coming back in waves and right now was a big one. 

_........_

_Sawyer watched Bill move the chair from the door his eyes briefly shooting over to him with a dark twinkle as Juliet called out through the partially open door to him. Sawyer could see Bill's nostrils flaring with adrenaline. He'd trying yelling but his sounds didn't get past the muffled gag fast enough._

_Juliet entered mid sentence and Bill plowed into her. She'd turned away raising her shoulders up, her hands instinctively moving to cover her head but they didn't make it. Her body was thrust into the wall.  Juliet's knees buckled an she bounced off of it like a damn rag doll._

_...._

Sawyer felt his breath quickening. 

He had _tried_ to stand but the leverage wasn't there. One of his legs was tied and the way his arms were bound behind him around the chair- mobility wasn't possible. Each time he rocked, his chair plopped back down under his weight. His legs felt weak as sat there on Bill's bed replaying the beginnings of that night. The helplessness he'd felt was like being in a new level of hell.

...

_Juliet had dropped like a rock. The Cowboy had caught her, his arms easily wrapping around her from behind.  She'd been temporarily stunned but as Bill spun them, Juliet' head snapped back up and she continued her struggle to escape. She'd kicked the door shut in an attempt to push off it._

_Sawyer recalled watching the door slam shut and feeling his chest sink. He'd yanked uselessly on his restraints. Bill had let out an amused huff then shifted his focus fully on containing her. He twisted and swept Juliet's feet out from under her before she could get her footing. She was instantly taken down with a heavy thud to the floor - in a heap with Bill on top of her. They both stilled instantly upon impact._

_Juliet's blond waves were covering her face and Sawyer tried to holler her name. Bill was pressing against her as she tried to free her arms from beneath them.  She was stuck. The asshole moved so fast, quickly yanking her right arm out from under her, folding it up behind her back, forcing her chest squarely into the floor. Juliet let out her first audible sound as a sharp cry. Sawyer was trying to shift himself high enough to get his arms over the back of the chair.  He watched in anger as Bill's heavy hands held Juliet down with ease._

_Casanova had leaned in and whispered something in Juliet's ear and Sawyer felt his skin chill then glisten in a new wave of rage. The corners of his mouth burned against his gag. Whatever he'd said sent Juliet into a tailspin and she surged- trying to push off the floor._ _Bill responded by grabbing her hair. He pulled her - arching her head back like a puppet. Sawyer could see her face for the first time. Juliet's expression was one of fear, frustration and pain. She still hadn't seen him. Her left arm shot up grabbing hold of her hair too._

_"No..." Juliet's struggling voice echoed in his mind, her tone was breathy and panicked as her nose flared._

_....._

Sawyer set down the photo and rubbed his palms down the tops of his thighs with a sigh. What was this feeling? Was he having some sort of anxiety attack? He vaguely acknowledged that Horace was still milling about in the other room but when he looked up Horace had actually moved back into the door frame and was watching him from the doorway with a questioning expression. Sawyer's expression in return was one of defeat.. He picked up the photo to show Horace, tipping his head to silently say _"Yeh.. I missed this too"_

The photo was of Juliet, Jin and Miles. He knew that night well-It was the day he and Jin had bumped into Richard outside the fence and also the night Juliet showed up drunk from the beach with Jin and Miles escorting her back to their house. Sawyer swallowed hard and almost audibly growled as he placed the evidence into a box. He'd remembered feeling like someone was watching that night but had chalked it up paranoia because of Richard.

"You have every right to be angry Jim." Horace said pausing as he finished shuffling items from the bathroom into a box.

"Yeh yeh, I know. It's just... I ain't used to lettin' my guard down and I screwed up on this one."

"Your boat crashed, you lost everything except the clothes on your back including  most of your crew. You were.. for lack of better terms, stranded on a mysterious island with a buncha nerdy scientists and had no idea where you were or how you got here. Not to mention... one of the people you were trying to protect, someone you clearly care about was in harms way without your knowledge." Horace paused and moved in taking the photo up to have a closer look.

"I feel the same way every time anything happens to one of my workers. As you well know, it's a sometimes overwhelming responsibility, to Captain a crew. But Jim, you're still here and you have...contrary to my original opinion about not being "Dharma material",  shown that you deserve to be here. You've risen to each challenge and come through... relatively unscathed. I'd say that shows a lot about you as a leader." 

"Gee, thanks, Boss" Sawyer said sarcastically, feeling his face redden in embarrassment as he attempted to lighten the seriousness of the mood. 

 Luckily for Sawyer, the phone rang. He quickly picked it up and shot Horace a "Saved by the bell" look.

"Yeh. LaFleur here. Ah--yup. Just a sec."

Sawyer held the receiver out to Horace and moved down the hall to pack the living room. As he stepped into the living room he noticed Horace had drawn the curtains open and the sunlight was beaming in right on a small roll top desk he'd not seen before. He squinted suspiciously then quickly moved to it and yanked the cover. The desk was locked. Sawyer felt his chest tighten and he jumped as Horace's voice sounded from right behind him.

"Sonova..." 

Horace moved closer stuffing his hands into his pocket as he rolled back on his heels and answered- clearly already having known about the desk.

"It's locked. We'll need to find the key or have Roger come open it. If there's anything of importance in there Jim, we'll find it."

Sawyer's face flashed a hint borderline panic. That's what he was afraid of! It must've been covered by Bill's clothes - how'd he not seen it?? If Horace wasn't here right now that desk would be lying in two pieces.. Sawyer took a deep breath and nodded agreeably like it was just an inconvenience.

"Yeh. Sure thing."

Inside he was screaming. Horace stacked about 4 boxes on the moving dolly and pushed the glasses up his nose. 

"Well, I meant to have more of a chance to talk to you but it looks like I have to take care of something that can't wait. You alright to finish up?" 

_PERFECT!_

"Ah yeh-'Course Chief." Sawyer said casually moving away from the desk and scooping a few magazines off a side table in an attempt to look disinterested.

"Great!  If you'd just drop the key at Roger's when your done.... O and Jim- don't forget, meeting tonight after your shift. I'll need ya there."

Sawyer nodded.

Horace tossed him the key and gave him a boy scout salute as he headed out.

Sawyer waited a moment and moved to the window careful to look like he "wasn't' watching" to be sure that Horace wasn't returning. Then he turned to the desk with an angry expression.

" _Tell Roger to open it_ " he said loudly in sarcastic frustration. "The hell I will!" Sawyer spat as he dropped down and began feeling all the corners under and around the desk. Nothing.

"Damnitt, Cowboy!" Sawyer voiced aloud. His eyes frantically made their way around the room. _"Think Sawyer think!"_ His mind flashed back upon several of the people he'd conned over the years and their *hiding places for valuables. He headed to the bathroom, lifting the tank off the toilet- Nothing. He made his way back into the bedroom and drug his hand along every underside and back of each piece of furniture. Nothing. He walked back to the living room . Sawyer moved to the kitchen. He checked on top of the fridge and in the junk drawers...Maybe he could pick it. He'd picked locks before he just hadn't done it without a lock pick set. He rifled through the kitchen and turned back to face the living room empty handed. He was not about to ask _Roger_ of all people, for help.

His eyes darted around the living room then stopped cold on large picture frame hanging on the wall near the desk. It was slightly off kilter. Sawyer tipped his head the direction of the tilt as he approached it. He plucked the frame off the hook and flipped it over to find himself grinning in victory as he stared a small silver key taped to the back of the picture.

"Thank youuu-Billy Boy" Sawyer said as he ripped the key from it's home.

Upon initially opening the desk, nothing looked suspicious. There were a few "Letters from home" from Bill's mother. He opened the middle drawer and pulled out a beat up spiral bound notebook. Flipping it open at first glance it appeared to be some type of *dream diary". _BINGO!_  

Sawyer dropped onto Bill's couch. He flipped through and saw page after page of dates and scrawlings. some notes were loosely inserted here and there as though Bill had written them later and added them in once he remembered. If anything, this was hard evidence of Bill's deteriorated mental state. The pages start out fairly legible and by the end of the entries the writing may as well have been in Korean as far as Sawyer could tell. He opened his jumpsuit and stuffed the book into the front of his pants before locking the desk back up and heading out. He needed time to go through all this stuff and see how personal Billy Boy had gotten about them...or more specifically, Juliet. 

........

 

It had been a thankfully uneventful day at the Motor Pool. Juliet had been able to keep mostly to herself and Kevin seemed content to just small talk in between tasks. She guessed he was glad that she'd decided to handle the end of month paperwork as she knew Kevin found it to be tedious and boring in every way.  Jesse had been recruited to help get all boats in tip top shape for transport of guests that were to be coming in on the sub so he had only stopped in briefly at lunchtime before disappearing down by the boathouse for the rest of his day.

Juliet couldn't deny that she felt waves of guilt just being there. Her memories were assaulting her in bursts. She couldn't not think of Bill. They'd worked in that space for so long together that most everything there reminded her of something. He had not been a _bad_ person in the beginning. Complicated yes, but no more so than she was. Where had it all gone so wrong? She had to keep reminding herself that the person she killed wasn't the same guy that she'd met when she arrived here. He was just a shell of his former self. 

Ironically- Juliet felt the same about _herself_. She was such a completely different being from when she'd arrived here. Not just in Dharmaville... but on the island... The island _changed_ people... and if it couldn't bend you to it's will- it found a way to kill you. Some days Juliet had no idea who she was or what she was capable of and other days she felt the exact opposite. Ben was also flashing through her mind. Not 10 year old Ben, but Ben Linus, leader of "The Others". The way he manipulated situations and always had everyone exactly where he wanted them in order to fulfill his objectives. She felt like a version of him right now.  Deception always left her with a sunken chested feeling.

Juliet did a lot of thinking as she sat in the office- there were no tears. She had accepted that things had to happen this way. " _Whatever happened happened_." She tried not to think about that phrase too often- because she knew the truth, the end all of the Dharma Initiative.  The people who didn't leave here would be dead in 13 years- or defect and turn into "Others".

"Hey-oooo Earth to Juliet? You hearin' me?" Kevin's voice drifted in from the doorway. The record was skipping at it's end and Kevin was staring at her with raised brows, an unlit cigarette hanging from his lips.

Juliet blinked in embarrassment an let out small huff. She had been a million miles away.  Kevin eyed the record player and Juliet turned and picked up the needle.

"Sorry." 

"Why? You've been staring at papers all day, I'm not complainin', Just finished cleanin' up for the night- you 'bout ready?"

Juliet looked up at the clock on the wall, it was nearly 5. She looked back to Kevin with a smile. His hand was idly feeling the back of his scalp and his sunglasses where holding his blond shaggy hair back like a headband. Juliet was suddenly reminded that he'd just had stitches in his head a few days before. 

"How's your head?" Juliet inquired in a motherly tone.

"Still tender, good news is I can't see it though - could be worse! ha. My arm on the other hand- is itchy and rubbing on every thing I walk by." 

"Heh, Just keep it covered. You'll be alright. I've burned myself a few times on hot engines before too- though not since I was a "rookie" Juliet shot sarcastically.

"Yes ma'am and .... Har har, very funny." Kevin rattled back as he rolled his eyes. He lifted his arm showing that his jumpsuit was serving as a sufficient "covering" with a smirk.

"I'm glad you're okay" She ended sincerely with a slow blink. 

"Yeh yeh, no need to get all mushy. I'll close the big door." Kevin said happily changing the subject as he lit his smoke and pushed the button outside the office. The loud door creaked and moaned until it reached the ground. 

Juliet stacked her papers in 2 neat piles and moved out - closing the office behind herself. Kevin punched his card through the time clock then held up Juliet's waiting for her to nod before punching the time on hers as well.

"Ahh, the last day of peace and quiet before the sub crazies get in." He said as he moved over and held the side door open.

"Yep. It's gunna be an interesting week."  Juliet said as she gingerly moved towards him.

"Ya all good?" Kevin inquired.

"Leg fell asleep" she stated as Kevin eyed her limp. He laughed. 

"Ha, Cool-cool. Let's blow this joint! Speakin of... You know where to find me if you wanna relax this week. Sub comin' in means my stash should be fully restored to it's groovy glory by tomorrow night!"  He flipped his cigarette and started holding it like a joint, letting his sunglasses fall into place on his face. He took a drag of his cigarette and blew out two perfect smoke rings before giving her a slow nod of accomplishment _"Awe yeahh"_

 "Want me to walk ya?" Kevin said as they both exited the building and Juliet turned to lock the door.

"Naw- I'm good- thanks."

"K. Catch ya on the flip side' Peace!" Kevin said as he turned and headed towards his house.

"Night. "

.........

Juliet headed home to shower and change. She had left her hair twisted up in a sloppy knot on top of her head. Juliet changed her bandage, her leg was no longer swelling.  The bruising was still visually significant but she was pleased with how well it was healing. She'd chosen khaki pants and a long sleeve white flowy top making her sun-kissed highlights stand out from her naturally golden locks. She'd added a light amount of make-up to hide the small remains of her facial injuries.

It was time to go and lie to Amy.  

The phone rang and Juliet moved to the kitchen to answer it. It was James. The convesation was short.

_"You headin' over there now?"_

"Yeh, You call to wish me luck?"

_"You ain't gunna need it. You got this."_

"I feel awful."

_"I know. Jus...Explain it like we talked about. it'll be fine."_

"Yeh."

 _"Hey...?"_ James paused like he had something to tell her.

"Yeh?"

_"Nothin' It'll wait... Good luck..."_

"James?" Juliet waited for him to pause and then she said it. It was sweet and sincere.

"I love you" 

 _"Love you back"_ He replied. Juliet smiled and closed her eyes because she could almost see his dimples as she listened to him.

 _"See you tonight Blondie"_ he ended before hanging up.

........

Amy opened her door as Juliet was still making her way up the porch steps, making it impossible to hide her limp.

"Are you okay? I'm so sorry I didn't even ask last night with all the fuss that had happened! I should've stayed! What a terrible friend I am!"

Juliet shook her head with a smile. Secretly she was glad Amy had been shocked enough to leave them because the way it had all unfolded none of them really had a viable story yet. She redirected her attention back to Amy and reached out to touch her arm.

"Don't be sorry~ Please. I wasn't exactly forthcoming with information either. I didn't meant o be so... elusive it was just that none of us really knew how to explain it... and we hadn't had a chance to..."

"I know, I know! You know I was just making sure my favorite person on this stupid island was safe right?" Amy opened the door wide so that Juliet could make her way in.

"And that is why I love you... Oh, dinner smells lovely!" Juliet said as the smell of baked chicken and potatoes wafted into the entryway.

"Awe thanks! Can I get you something?"

"Tea?... would be... wonderful, thank you!"

"Absolutely." Amy turned and stuttered her step for a moment then spun back. She looked suddenly nervous, like she had something to say. Juliet waited patiently knowing Amy was about to spill whatever beans she was holding.

"It has been a crazy few days- getting everything ready for the sub and making sure everything is in order... I have been _all_ over the barracks today. "

"Yes I can imagine. I actually kind of miss new recruit day.  Jessie was down at the boathouse and we just finished our inventory and oil changes today." Juliet replied casually.

"I.. stopped by security... to bring Horace lunch." Amy blurted out.

Juliet's eyes hit the floor and she smiled confirming her theory that this was why Amy was acting odd.

"I see." Juliet said waiting for her continue.

"I read the statements. I'm sorry I should've just asked but I thought you might be upset with me and..."

"It's okaaay Amy, I'm glad. I was trying to figure out how to start such an odd conversation. "Soo- seen any good Smoke Monsters lately?"" Juliet huffed at herself.  Amy let out a soft laugh as well. It was awkward but both of them were clearly relieved.

"I was just really worried, and I still am. After what happened with Bill going all crazy and his disappearance and all"

"Right, I understand. I can't help but think about that too."

Juliet swallowed at the mention of Bill's name. Amy sighed at the release of information and turned back to the kitchen, Juliet followed. She pulled down two tea cups as Amy started the kettle. Juliet leaned on the counter and listened as Amy attempted to make small talk about the rest of her day.

"I went to the school house first thing, there are 2 new students that will be coming in with parents on the sub so I wanted to make sure everything was in order for them- then I stopped by maintenance to be sure they had the available houses ready annnddd... at lunch I poked my head into the security station, as I said earlier... after I got home, Heather called from records... to have me look at a file that had just come in... "

Amy stopped there, pulled the baking dish out of the oven and looked at Juliet. Juliet closed her eyes knowing that "Heather from records" was one of Amy's favorite gossip friends.

"Anyone I know?" Juliet asked as though the question really needed an answer. 

The tea Kettle whistled and Amy reached for Juliet's mug pouring the hot water and passing it back with the name Juliet already knew she would say...

"Bill" Amy said guiltily.

"Heather had the backpack, the one your eyes got really wide over when I went to pick it up off of your kitchen? I saw what was in there. Juliet I am sooo sorry. I had no idea- Did you know about them? All those months, all those pictures of you... of US. It was so sobering... It realy does just go to show that you really cannot know what people are capable of." 

 _If she only knew._ Juliet thought as her vision blurred and she drifted off into the depths of her mind.

 

....

_She'd landing heavily in front of the bed side table. Her wrist burned from being torn free from it's restraints. The sheet was still wound around her torso and legs. Her fingers blindly reached above her into the drawer and looped through the trigger of the cold metal pistol. She'd swiftly pulled it out and painfully tucked her knees up to her chest, resting the dead weight of her arms on her knees as she aimed at the figure silhouetted in the light of the hallway. Bill was dragging James back into the hall by his feet. He'd already beaten James enough that he was unable to get any leverage.  Bill had froze when he saw her there. He'd dropped James's leg and reached out in a "Please, no." gesture that she knew well from first hand use.  But Juliet's mind had gone blank- her instinct had kicked in  and... she had fired._

.....

It was slow motion as it replayed in her head the ringing of that fateful shot lingered in her ears when Amy called her back to reality.

"Well enough of that! What a depressing topic right? Let's eat! On... to bigger and better things... Horace says some important people will be arriving tomorrow. That's exciting right? I think they are here to decide whether or not to continue the Dharma Initiative but I cannot confirm it yet!. How odd would it be to have to leave here and join the real world?! "

Juliet smiled sincerely, her eyes still mildly glazed over as Amy dished her a plate and the two of them sat down to eat.

"Yeh, wouldn't that be strange..." She echoed idly as she sipped her tea 

 


End file.
